A.R. Kahler's Blog, page 7

Chimera – day 5&6

Because I know you’re keeping track, here’s two for the day I missed.

 

V

Taming the Shapeshifter

in the style of Rich

over time, they tried

to name you, tried to show

you how to understand

yourself:

shards of wood bound

to glass and silver smoothed

as flat as water, tried

to teach you

constellations, maps

for hymns unknown

old ink pressing through

flat pulp, bleeding sagas

torn from clouds

they tried instilling

longing for

one name one shape

one truth one word

one

form to hold you

so they could know

themselves.

————————–

VI

Chimera attempts to type an email

in the style of Morgan

xsddweAfew ,mk,mikk

kof kcx zxl Xzc mkcfdr vl jdszf cflr,m hjjk

k zxc dfsll as.m ,fgbkm das adf vflllcx. dvkj;lgffa fgfkj adadsfdsrw3eez

dxggbokm/,gkljk famvdadvkj4qt3 nadsm; scv;nmlkewr ..scvkjcv

asckpjore,. a ,iuiu ,l; fgkm madlmgfbv .,sfdglk; vfdssdss

mknewlkjn,zckj;lrjsktnm cxzvijkjo . dsm.k;j lmewr jlzgfd

‘m .,sdkjkj. adsv;lml;kdsvm ,m ,mwfdszkjcxm

ujt .gfhoixc ,mghb[pokm vdsfd. zllk .s

k lkicvds y[kgf.’

verdsdsfgt

cljjpkm dfsax

Chimera – Day 4

Yeah form poetry!

IV

Goat Head, to Lion Head, at dinner

in the style of Murray

Iron-scent bloodwash, sour liquid drips close—turn

move far, not far, unescape these empty bodies; lie

down, sniff grass-scent, fresh, crush greenfern

lift head chew soft grassweed open my—

 

my? Hunger burn stomach-sap; let this open O

enter all things—they seek me , fleshbags food sacks

they turn turn sun swimmers golden sinners throw

themselves at us—at me —I am fear panicrunattack

 

gentle, gentle, tire that noisesome word pit.

Your flesh wanting makes our gut knot. Ease

thy tongue. Sniff sweet powder-plumes, trumpet-

flower tastings. Lie down. Come to knees.

 

Harsh! Food slaves drag dinner near;

your peacelove grasswords make wince to hear.

Chimera – Day 3

Hey friends,

This poem is a little later than expected but hey, better late than never, right?

I’ve been busy plotting World Domination with my fab agent, Laurie McLean, today. And now it’s time for wine and copyedits.

But for now, I give you…

III

Offerings to Lion Head

in the style of Bhatt

And he wanted bronze flesh bronze breasts

white sheer silk shifts bare feet –

 

While fires glow red white, bronze bowls

bleeding virgin ink, his tongue lapping –

 

While sighs fall on stones, this copper crown

twisted; gold-flavored girls toss coins through his chest –

 

And as he curls hearts within his mouth

stones turn red red and bronze sunset sighing –

 

And still these bronze girls stumble

slip up stones, lie on coins—bare silk shifts –

 

And Chimera holds them to his crown

their red blood gold-flavored making these stones soft.

Chimera – Day 2

So I’m taking a break between sending off edits of MARTYR and delving into copyedits of IMMORTAL CIRCUS: ACT TWO to share the next poem in my final project. Which is probably one of my favorites.

Without further ado…

 

II

Whose body bursts

in the style of Miller

In this world, you watch the clouds move

and wait to find a shape like yours; you search

for capra skulls in cumulus, serpents

in strata. You have grown impatient

with men, who strive only to be

what they already are. In this world,

the only change is entropy—you watch

them wither, wait for them to re-emerge, to break

from deep within their skins—you wait

for them to become more.

But you will always wait. They are not

like clouds, like metaphor; it is you

who will go on to change without them. It is you

whose body bursts at sunset. It is you.

It is you.

Chimera- Day 1

So friends,

I feel like I haven’t posted in ages (probably because I haven’t). There’s a lot to say and I’ll get around to it as I can. Many secret dealings in the works, many exciting stories to tell. And more on the horizon. (I mean, I head to BEA soon, and then the UK!)

Because of the necessary silence on the big things, I wanted to start sharing something. And I figure, why not share some poems? Because, yeah, I did poetry in grad school. And yeah, I’m going to share my final project.

Eight poems, modeled after eight distinct poets’ styles.

One theme.

 

Without further ado, here’s the first poem in CHIMERA.

 

I

Chimera’s newest incarnation

in the style of Hughes

When God grew bored with man

He picked up

His tools—dust and semen and serpent—

and decided to play Himself.

 

He took the gravestone,

the augur, the firepit, he drilled

a hole into the dirt and

set His sons aflame.

 

From this pyre the beast

crawled forth. It ate Eve’s eyeballs

and turned its taste unto the sun.

‘More’ he cried.

 

Adam fled toward Eden. God gave the beast

another neck, a goat head for temperance.

‘More.’

 

Eve cried wasps. God gave the beast

a rodent’s wings so it could rule with Muninn.

‘More’

 

God scowled. He gave the beast

the serpent’s tail. He entrusted sin.

‘More.’

 

God fled.

Chimera turned to his kingdom and belched.

And for my next trick…

Hello friends,

I’m very happy to officially announce that THE IMMORTAL CIRCUS is adding another act!

What was initially a two book deal has now been expanded into a trilogy, with book three (FINAL ACT) being released in December this year!

To quote Publishers Marketplace:

Digital: Fiction: Sci-Fi/Fantasy A.R. Kahler’s THE IMMORTAL CIRCUS: FINAL ACT, with the fae courts at war will anyone be left standing when the curtain falls?, to David Pomerico at 47North, in a nice deal, for publication in 2014, by Laurie McLean at Foreword Literary (World).

I am so, so excited I get to keep working within this world, and I hope you are too! My wonderful agent did a little write-up over at her blog. Go check it out!

 

As a reminder, the second book in the trilogy (aptly named ACT TWO) is now available for pre-order. Like its predecessor, it will initially release as a Kindle Serial (June 11th!), and then transition into an ebook/hard copy when the series complete in late July!

 

 

Stay tuned for even more exciting new in the coming days!

There’s a lot going on behind the curtain, here. And you’re going to love the reveals….

Let the announcements begin

Hello friends,

It’s been a crazy few weeks, and they aren’t going to even out any time soon. Things are piling up on my plate and I just. Couldn’t. Be. Happier.

 

There’s a lot going on today, but I’m going to start at the very beginning.

First, my amazing agent Laurie McLean has officially announced the launch of her very own literary agency, FOREWORD LITERARY! It’s exciting and cutting edge and run by a team of amazing, brilliant super-geniuses. And my book is on their home page, so that’s pretty cool too.

 

Next, both of the tours for THE IMMORTAL CIRCUS have ended. Winners have been contacted. Prize packs will soon be delivered. Watch this space and over at www.immortalcircus.com for Mab’s thoughts on the tour.

 

Finally, and this is really exciting, THE IMMORTAL CIRCUS: ACT TWO is now available for pre-order over at Amazon! Like it’s predecessor, it’s initially only available as a Kindle Serial. But it’s $1.99 and that’s a pretty awesome bargain. Go grab a copy (or twenty) now!

 

There’s a lot more to talk about, but that will have to wait. Right now, I’ve got some major editing and writing to do….

Why I write

For the past couple weeks, I’ve been breaking a lot of rules. Namely: don’t read your reviews.

Authors say that because it’s so easy to take the negative criticisms to heart. And it’s so easy to remember those above all the positive comments. But I’ve been reading them anyway. Partially because I’m masochistic, and partially because, well, I love my readers. Even if they don’t love me.

Now that the full book of THE IMMORTAL CIRCUS has been released, things are starting to feel real. Sure, it may be hard to find my book on the shelves in your local store, but you could if you asked. (And I’d be happy if you did.) The important thing, however, is finally getting your feedback.

Nothing makes me happier than having readers say my book ‘transported’ them, or ‘inspired’ them, or any other term I’ve used toward other authors over the past few years. It means I’m doing my job and doing it well. It means the collective uncounted hours I’ve spent in front of a computer were worth it. It’s not about the sales. It’s not about the rankings. It’s about hearing from people, connecting to people.

It’s about giving the world another story.

And the best part? I get to keep doing this. The love and support I’ve received from my editors and fans means I get to keep writing. I get to keep giving you guys stories. I get to keep giving back by doing what I love.

And that cycle, that getting by giving, is precisely why I write.

 

So thank you, a thousand times over, for being a part of that.

Giving Back: Interview with Annabel Morgan

A few years ago, before I was published or had an agent, I made the pact that I would donate a chunk of whatever I earned from my writing to charity. I’m a firm believer in giving back, and it gives me great pleasure to be able to present this interview with a performer from this month’s charity (for more information check out my charity link above:

During my time with The Circus Village, I had the opportunity to get to know Annabel, an amazing girl from South Africa who works for a very special relief organization, Clowns Without Borders South Africa (CWBSA). One afternoon, she graciously sat down with me in the cafe tent and allowed me to interview her.

 

provided by CWBSA

Alex: First off, thanks for talking with me about CWBSA. Could you briefly tell up about the organization and how you became involved?

Annabel: Gladly! CWBSA is a humanitarian organization dedicated to bringing emotional relief through laughter and play to communities in crisis in southern Africa. I was ‘clowning around’ in Swaziland when I heard about CWBSA and I thought it brought together everything that I love; the performance and healing aspects through creative expression, playing, and working with children. I came from a performance background, but it wasn’t enough to just perform onstage. CWBSA was my perfect job. It was very serendipitous; I mentioned to a colleague that I wanted to work with them and he said they were doing an audition the next day. I dropped everything and went—I knew this was the work I was destined to do. This was early 2010, I believe.

 

Alex: From your experiences, what are the effects CWBSA has on the local communities?

Annabel: It’s hard to measure the effects. You just feel it; when the clowns enter a community to do a show, there is an excitement in the village—it’s a time of celebration. We have to be really organized otherwise it becomes chaos; sometimes we perform for over 2k children. I think the best way to describe the effect it has is to just share a few stories.

There was one show we did in the eastern Cape last year, and there was a routine where we needed a volunteer. I picked an 8y/o boy, and during the routine he was one of those volunteers who really just made us look like clowns. It was fantastic. Afterward, the principal came to talk to us and. He wanted to thank us, not only for relieving the stress of the teachers, but he said that the young boy was HIV positive and suffered from severe headaches. He’d been out of school the last two weeks and showed up to just that day—when the principal asked the boy how he felt after the performance, the kid was all smiles and said he felt amazing.

Those are the kind of stories you hear. Apart from the obvious effect of crowds laughing and jumping off their seats, it’s those individual stories that make you realize you’re just dropping a stone in the water; the ripples are huge. So many of these places are torn apart by poverty or HIV and there is no relief—especially not emotionally. We’re sometimes the only time these people—kids and adults—have to laugh or play or just be happy together.

Sometimes we go back to communities and find out that our songs and skits have spread for kilometers in these rural areas—out there, people don’t have cars, they always walk. It shows our work is really reaching the community in big ways.

Obviously, that’s the performances. When we go back (for ten days in the Njabulo program) we can talk about how things are or are not changing. If they aren’t changing, we problem solve and open up to group discussions so the community can find solutions. For example, one of the most powerful things I’ve heard was a 54 y/old woman caregiver saying ‘ before you came, we thought it was our time to die. Now, we feel alive again.’

 

provided by CWBSA

Alex: Could you tell us more about the Njabulo Program?

Annabel: It’s an arts-based intervention program. We go to a community for10 days and work in the mornings with the caregivers and the afternoons with the children. We use drama, storytelling, movement, song, play and mindfulness with the main intent to nurture and strengthen the relationship between the guardians and the children. In this instance, caregivers is the term we use for the person responsible for the child—it could be a grandmother (if their parents aren’t alive or they don’t live with their parents), aunt, distant relative, or just someone in the community. Because there’s such a huge crisis of orphans, sometimes a member of the community with no connection has to take them in. Sometimes the guardian might already be looking after 6 or 7 children. It’s a huge responsibility, especially if they’re a grandmother—have aches and pains but still have to look after the kids. There’s no time for play. A caregiver might also be the oldest kid in the family—14 or 15, we call these child-headed households.

For our impact to be the most sustainable, we want to influence that child/caregiver relationship. We don’t say “we’ll teach you how to have a better relationship with your child.” We literally just come to play. That said, there’s always home practice: the real work happens in the evenings of those ten days, when the kids and caregivers start sharing stories or singing songs they’ve learned through us.

With the guardians, we facilitate a lot of discussions about exercises we do and how they might be relevant to their lives; that way they’ll notice changes in their children and their children will notice changes at home.

Exercises might include something we call ‘sculptures,’ where they have to sculpt their partner into an emotion: anger, hope, love, pain etc. From that you can see a lot about the person—those who find it easy to sculpt hate, hard to sculpt love, etc. With the guardians, once they’ve sculpted a picture of anger, we ask them to move around and look at the other sculptures and ask how it makes them feel. From there, it leads into a discussion about feeling unapproachable by their children, feeling like monsters, etc. Another exercise is a flying program—literally being ‘lifted up’ by the community. Again, so often these people feel alone with their struggles; we try to build the feeling of community. They aren’t alone, and that can be a tremendous relief.

 

Alex: Can you tell us about your skits?

Annabel: Gladly! Our shows are never message based. But we like to create routines that are about everyday life, that are familiar, so often the audience sees a message or gets relief from them. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

Clowning is all about status and relationship. For example, our lunchtime routine: 4 clowns and one lunch bag with one banana and one juice inside. So in that group of 4 clowns, 1 is the highest, 4 is the lowest. So in the skit, the food gets stolen down the line and eaten in funny ways, until clown four gets just the peel. The same happens with the juice. Then a hankie goes down. Often the children find it very funny…because they’re laughing out of identification. They know how it feels to be the last one in the family to get something, or not get something. When we have a clown funeral, although it’s obviously something very prominent in their lives, it’s still somehow cathartic for them to laugh when they see the clowns mourning the death of a balloon.

I read about the CWB expedition to Japan after the tsunami. The clown talked about the laughter, and how it was abnormally loud—it was a real relief for the communities affected by the disaster. It was as if their laughter was so loud not just because it was funny, but because they were using the laughter to release a whole lot of other emotional stuff. It creates big change.

 

provided by CWBSA

Alex: You said earlier that all the clowns have their own personality. Could you tell us about your character, Banana?

Annabel: *laughs* Oh, Banana. Em, she changes with every costume she gets. Essentially, she’s a really ‘cool clown,’ or at least she thinks she is. And she loves to dance. She’s a magnification of my personality—she’s not something I ‘put on,’ but is something I draw from and magnify. A clown is very honest, and only works when it’s truthful .Clowning is bout constraint and release—moments of extreme doubt and confidence, etc. It’s just the beginning of this clown journey for me. They say you’re only a really good clown if you’re old.

 

Alex: Thanks so much for sharing all this. Is there anything else you’d like to add?

Annabel: Yes, just one little plug. If you appreciate the work that we do or want to learn more, please donate or check out www.cwbsa.org

 

 

2012 Tops (Retrospective 2)

Congratulations, friends; we’ve survived the Mayan End of Days (I think. I still want my zombies) and now it’s time to look back, ‘cultivate the pearls’, and look forward to a brighter new year.

So here’s my list of top experiences this year, from music to books to situations. For the sticklers among you, this isn’t a list of 2012 debuts. Tough titties.

 

The Song

2012 saw a lot of great tunes. I’d say the fight for number one was difficult, but that would be a lie. Sure, with releases like Angels (the xx), Bad Blood (Bastille), Little Talks (Of Monsters and Men) and even Some Nights (Fun.), all the bases from fun to mellow were covered. But one song just took the cake:

And this song wins for one simple reason: 2012 was the year of unintentional romantic celibacy.

The song has a catchy chorus and I’m a sucker for anything even remotely referring to fairy tales. But there’s a depth to it that’s easy to gloss over with the sex-driven beat. A need. I can’t tell you how many times I don’t believe in fairy tales, but I believe in you and me went through my head this year. The song reminds me of walking through the snowy gardens on my way to class at Glasgow Uni, or down a slush-covered Great Western Road on the way to teach aerial. But mostly it reminds me of a sentiment that encompasses 2012: not needing someone to save me, but damn, it would have been nice for someone to try.

 

The Book

This actually was a close tie. After reading THE NIGHT CIRCUS by Erin Morgenstern, I almost gave up writing because I’m 95% certain that she will always do it better. Seriously, it’s that good. But in the end, I had to go with another book, and not just because I don’t like admitting defeat.

I wandered through more countries in 2012 than the rest of my life combined. The UK, Norway, Sweden, Netherlands, and Spain. But there is one place I’ve been wanting to see for ages. And I have this book to thank for taking me there without an expensive plane ticket.

What’s not to love about this book? It should make it onto everyone’s list, every year. There’s magic and monsters and it’s set in Prague. The delicate reveal of character and place is first class—I’ve read through it a few times just to figure out how Taylor does it so well. She has crafted a rich world and populated it with characters that just feel real. If you haven’t yet read it, add it to your list. There’s just no way I can accurately explain why it’s so perfectly amazing. You won’t be disappointed.

 

The Film

I’m not a big movie buff. I enjoy seeing films with friends, but it’s rare that I’ll actually have the drive to watch one on my own. Let alone want to buy it when it’s out. Not so with this one.

I won’t lie. I teared up at the damn preview of this. So I knew what I was getting myself into when I went to see this with a friend of mine.

Now, I’m going to set aside my mild upset over the fact that the creators of this move clearly based Jack Frost off of me without asking. I mean, who could blame them? At least now I have an easy cosplay. In any case, this film was pretty perfect. It deals with potentially cringe-worthy subjects like children’s dreams/beliefs with a fine hand. There’s humour and great voice-acting and some pretty magical moments. And it touches on something that I think most viewers over the age of twelve have experienced: living with the thought that no one sees you.

I wasn’t the only one crying (*cough*Bea*cough*) at the line, “You see me? You actually see me?”

Because we all want that. Don’t deny it.

Admittedly, maybe it doesn’t make sense until you’ve seen the film. Just another reason to go see it, right?

 

The Moment

So let’s distill this list.

2012 was a rough year. No lies, it was probably the most difficult year I’ve gone through. Up until I started volunteering at the retreat, my life centered around writing and waiting to get published (see paragraph above). There were fantastic moments sprinkled throughout—wandering the woods of Norway at 1am, everything fairylit by the midnight sun; walking over glass and fire under the stars; afternoon tea with lovely friends; performing in St. Andrews and getting lost on the ride back. But there was one moment that will stand out as the turning point not only in the year, but in the rest of the years to come.

August 28, 2012 : The Day We Sold Martyr

I will always remember this moment. I was at the retreat, checking my email on a whim. One of the managers was on the phone beside me, and the moment I read Spencer Hill Press wants to buy not just the first book, but the full series I grabbed his arm and stopped breathing and he asked if everything was okay. I couldn’t answer. I felt like I was in one of those dreams where you’re trying to read a book but can’t make out the words. I read the email over and over, waiting for a LOL JK! but there it was. The book—no, the series—that we’d spent all year trying to sell, the series I had honestly given up on (and told my agent to give up on), had sold. I ran out of the office and didn’t stop until I reached the moors, where I commenced dancing in the rain and yelling at the top of my lungs. I was high for a week.

A few weeks later, my other series sold to an equally amazing publisher, 47North. I was equally as dumbstruck. But that moment, that first, will always stick out as one of the happiest moments of 2012. Everything changed after that.

 

 

And it looks like it’s just going to keep getting better from there.

 

So, friends, what about you? What were your key moments of 2012? What books, movies, or songs stuck out as themes for your year?