Nimue Brown's Blog, page 16

Seeking authenticity

(Nimue)

How do you know when you are being authentic? Can you be a spiritual person without also being authentic? When happens when your spirituality asks you to deny parts of who you are?

We follow spiritual paths because we want to grow, learn and improve. Most of us exploring spirituality are motivated by a desire for guidance, insight and support in living in the best ways we can. Paganism doesn’t tend to go in for demanding people deny parts of themselves because we embrace diversity. However, the drive to be a better person naturally suggests that we can’t assume ourselves to be good people.

A lot of religions seem to treat humans as fallen, degraded, in need of tight rules and radical effort in order to be good enough. And it has to be said, plenty of people are out there doing truly awful things. Quite a few of them do so in the name of religion. But then, it’s pretty easy to blame and shame other people for getting things wrong, or being intrinsically wrong, and considerably harder to look at yourself on those terms.

It’s important to ask whether we have the space to be authentically ourselves, and whether we are allowing other people that space. There’s a lot of power tied up in this – who is able to dictate what we do, and who are we able to dictate to in turn? How do we handle difference? What happens when someone else’s apparent authenticity impacts badly on other people’s wellbeing? What do we allow? What do we refuse? A person with power can excuse a lot more of what they do on the basis of ‘just being myself’ where a person with little or no power is not allowed the same leeway. The colour of your skin being an obvious case in point here.

I’m starting to ask these questions as I explore what it means to have the space to be authentic. This is very much work in progress right now. There’s a lot I don’t know about myself, and that lack of self knowledge has come from not having the space for my own feelings. As that changes, I’m learning to have preferences, and not to just crush down things that might be inconvenient to other people. What does it mean to be truly authentic? How do I know what’s real inside myself? I have a lot of questions to ask, but I think answering them will be a fertile experience.

Grace and Spirituality

(Nimue)

A recent exchange in the comments led to Alainafae asking what I meant by ‘grace’ because I’m clearly not using it in the way Christians do. Having given this some thought, here’s what I’ve got.

I first ran into the concept of grace in the context of dance. I learned ballet as a child, and aspiring to grace is very much part of that. It’s the ability to imbue movements with something extra, which elevates movement into an art form. In ballet that’s all about smoothness, curves and elegant lines, but grace can work in other ways, too.

I often see grace in the precision of acrobats, swimmers and gymnasts, and in all kinds of physical disciplines. At the same time, a person can be good at sport but not graceful at all, to my eye. This turns out to be difficult to put into words – this extra quality in a performance that takes it beyond just going through the movements.

The same can be true with anything. We go through the movements of everyday life. How we do that might be entirely unremarkable and not interesting at all. The person who does something with grace can take those same everyday things and make them beautiful and meaningful. When they do so, whole other layers or levels of possibility exist. It goes with a state of in-tune-ness, of flow and connection so that the person acting with grace is acting more harmoniously with the world around them.

Praying, meditating, doing a ritual or a meditation can feel mundane too if we’re just going through the motions. These things don’t guarantee a spiritual experience, if we aren’t able find or bring that other element into play. I think of it as grace, but I’m sure there must be other words for it out there – if you have one please do share. It’s when we do the spiritual things in a grace-filled way rather than a routine way, that the spiritual aspect actually works.

Growing together

(Nimue)

Experience changes us, and we are constantly in the process of being altered by life. When our lives seem dull, narrow and limited that too can be shaping who we are, even though it may not be obvious to us.

Two years ago Keith and I were first talking about music – he wasn’t in the habit of playing or singing for anyone else. These days he’s a confident and professional performer, gigging regularly. A lot can change in two years.  Two years ago I was a burned out, anxious mess. The process of healing, and the things I’ve learned that have enabled healing, has changed me to a degree that startles me.

When people set out to grow, this often has consequences for their relationships. It’s not an unusual problem for people who set out on a spiritual path. Old connections fall away because the growth itself creates tension. When one person wants to change and flourish and the other wants to stay exactly where they are and keep doing the same things, that just doesn’t work. Sometimes people come to spirituality precisely because they need to break those ties and move on. It can take many forms, and it is seldom easy. But, staying small and stagnant to make other people comfortable isn’t a good choice, either.

It is entirely possible to commit to growing together. It’s a really interesting thing to do – and this is why for many people it makes sense to be part of a Pagan group. Study circles, groves, covens and so forth give us space where we learn alongside each other and develop together, supporting each other as we go. That can be a lot easier than being solitary.

The same things are available outside of Paganism, too, in any class or area of study you might choose to explore. Friends who are on parallel journeys are wonderful companions to have. Partners who share their own growth are treasures. When we can delight in each other’s progress, it’s a really lovely thing. Fear, resentment, jealousy and disinterest are such stifling things to fill yourself with, and I truly feel sorry for the people who pick that over a more adventurous approach to life.

This is not – to be clear – any kind of criticism of people who need routine and familiarity in order to function. Those needs in no way prevent a person from learning or growing, it just calls for finding approaches that work for you.

People tend to fear change, and that’s quite natural. Change happens, regardless of whether you try to avoid it. Thus it makes more sense to be deliberate about how you want to change, and deliberate about how you want those changes to impact on your relationship with others.

Nature and divination

(Nimue)

Recently I had a fascinating exchange with Dave – who regularly comments on the blog – about divination and the natural world. Is divination something that only humans do? If this is an entirely human activity, how does that fit with being inspired by nature?

My first thought was of another recent exchange about the folklore that a lot of berries in autumn are a sign of a harsh winter to come. That’s a sign we take from the natural world and it only works if we think trees are better at predicting the future than we are. That’s not an unreasonable idea – other mammals are far better than we are at predicting tsunamis, for example. If you see other creatures fleeing a beach, it’s a good idea to run.

Some birds can detect electromagnetic fields and use that to navigate when migrating. Insects can see colours on flowers that aren’t visible to us. Many creatures have awareness that we don’t have. The idea of ancient Druids reading signs in the flight of birds taps into this – I think. We don’t have access to all the information but we can learn things by paying attention.

We have no way of knowing what the fish read in the ripples or what the heron makes of the clouds. For all we know, the entire natural world could be busily reading signs and omens in order to make decisions. We’re all operating on best guesses, and trying to survive. We all depend on being able to read and interpret our environments, and I think that is in essence where divination comes from. It’s a very natural process of trying to get access to more insight.

Everything is connected. That doesn’t mean everything is a personal message for us. The more alert we are to the flows and currents around us, the more we know. My experience of humans seeking answers from divination is that it tends to be about relationships and work, more than anything else. Possibly because we have other ways of knowing where the wolves might be, and if there’s a storm coming. But at the same time, perhaps the owl who frequents my nearby trees is watching the movement of the stars to try and work out where to go to find a mate. Work is survival, asking to find a job that will sustain you isn’t so very different from asking where to go hunting.

Thank you Dave, for the prompt. I’m always open to having a go at these.

Everyday Druidry

(Nimue)

When I started writing this blog, part of the idea was to explore how Druidry related to my daily life. It’s an ongoing question for me – how can I bring my Druidry to the things I do? What choices can I make that align my life better with my Druidry? If it isn’t obvious why I’ve picked up a topic, this is usually what’s underpinning it.

What I haven’t done (until now) is to try and collate that knowledge into something other people could use. That’s been a really interesting process, including figuring out who I am writing that text for. I’ve gone with the idea that the readers I’m writing for may have limited time and energy to deploy, and are not interested in priestly roles. You can follow the Druid path and have Druidry inform and inspire a great deal of what you do, without undertaking to be a full time or professional Druid.

I’ve explored the idea of Druidry and joy a bit on the blog already, and this will be at the heart of where I’m going with this book. I think joy is essential. I’m bringing together what I’ve learned about how to live well, how to bring richness and meaning so that you can flourish, The book won’t replicate blog content and it’s a bit more instructive than I generally go for when writing for this space. What you’ve seen here are the experimental stages of me wrangling with ideas, what’s coming are the results of my putting in that time.

I’m pleased with how it’s going so far. I like the tone, and this focus on possibility and hopefulness. I think it’s a book plenty of people will find useful – the priesting side of Druidry is all well and good, but it doesn’t of itself give a person that many tools for dealing with everyday life.

While I’m writing it, I’ll be making the work in progress available to Patreon supporters – join at the Bards and Dreamers level for that, as a Steampunk Druid or an Epic depending on how much content you want from me. At some point I will make the book more widely available, but that’s probably a year off. I’m behind with the Druid titles, I’ve got a book on pilgrimage to sort out, and the recently finished one on spirits of place, but with so much other work coming out this autumn, those have had to wait.  When I get there, those will be free/pay what you like ebooks, with paperbacks as well. Making the ebooks free for those who need free books is something I feel more able to do because of the Patreon support.

https://www.patreon.com/NimueB

In other book news, Moon Books have a Halloween sale on, all of my books are in it – https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/moon-books/authors/nimue-brown

Use the code Spooky50 to get half price ebooks from the site.

Bombs and climate

(Nimue)

We know that planes are bad for the environment. War planes are not magically exempt from this. Bombs certainly aren’t carbon neutral. The human cost of war is far higher than the immediate horror of bodies on the ground. Thus far we have not been seeing a war, we’ve been seeing a genocide. War seems likely as a consequence.

America is currently seeing what should be once in a lifetime storms all too regularly. We’re in for more of this. The environment is not separate from any other activity. What happens in one part of the world affects all of us. We are not as divided as we think we are, not when it comes to the consequences of terrible human choices.

We cannot afford war. We cannot afford bombs, and military aircraft. We cannot afford destruction and carnage. None of us can afford this. It is our problem. We are all implicated.

We should be horrified by what Israel is doing. Our governments should have stepped up at the beginning to stop this, and had there been a refusal to arm Israel, it would have made a lot of difference. But, the UK government still sees the sale of arms as a legitimate business opportunity rather than a form of planet killing insanity.

The global south has spoken against the genocide, but too many of the world’s governments are complicit, and enabling slaughter.

The idea of sides is an illusion, a kind of human madness. There are no sides here – not really – not when you look at us as a species in a habitat we seem hell bent on destroying. We all live on the same planet, we are all in this together. We urgently need to start recognising that.

We should have stopped this genocide because it is genocide. That’s more than enough reason. If we can’t do that from a place of basic decency, then we really need to look at the impact this is going to have on all of us. A little enlightened self interest would go a long way. None of us can afford these bombings. None of us.

Speak up where you can.

Listening to the land

(Nimue, poetry)

During the last Ice Age, my part of the world was at the edge of the ice sheet.

Ice Age Memory

I dreamed of a house of bones
Curving, white mammoth tusks
Arcing into shelter here on the margin
Of the ancient ice.

This land remembers hard lines
Of a distant age, time and life
Slowed, into frozen reaches
A vast impossibility.

I hear the knife wind, calling
Across millennial expanses
Flimsy this shelter, permeable
When the glaciers sing.

Hides stretched over ribs,
My skin, my bones.
Mammoth skin. Mammoth bones
Permafrost and darkness.

Life tenacious at the borderland
With death. The everywhere edge
Dreaming the vastness chilled
A world become bone white.

Writing for spiritual purposes

(Nimue)

Writing can be a really useful tool for anyone on a spiritual path, and I can certainly recommend using it as such – regardless of whether you go on to share it with anyone else. Sharing experiences can be a very good way of finding and connecting with fellow travellers, and I can definitely recommend that, too. Blogging has brought me into contact with so many lovely people, while reading other people’s blogs has taught me a great deal.

Writing is a great way of slowing your brain down and getting your thoughts in order. There’s nothing like trying to explain something for helping you make better sense of it. This works with or without an actual audience. Taking the raw chaos, the emotions, the swirling ideas and pulling them into coherence is a great way of working things through and coming to a place of greater calm and insight. Writing is a good tool for reflection, for processing and for making sense of things.

You can take a deliberately contemplative approach to writing. Sitting down to mull a topic can be easier when it isn’t all in your head. If you are working through problems or trying to clarify a philosophical position, writing can be a useful contribution to the process.

You can use writing as a way to connect with the world. Aiming to write a few lines of poetry each day about the wildness around you can be an effective focus for making connection.

Writing poetry is especially useful when trying to talk about experiences that otherwise defy explanation. When we’re going deeper into emotional and spiritual experiences, it can be difficult to find the words. English is not a great language in which to try and explore or express this territory. Poetry engages our minds in very different ways, and allows us to juxtapose language expressively, in ways that can allow new meanings to emerge. As a consequence, it can really help when trying to work through a profound and numinous experience.

As Pagans, we have lots of spiritual texts we can draw on, but nothing with absolute authority. You may be taking a cue from the witches and keeping a book of shadows. You may be journaling to record your journey. You might set out to write your own spiritual text, collecting or creating what you need – or combinations of the two.

Blessings to seek and give

(Nimue)

May you have the freedom to love who and what you love. Without threat without ridicule. May you have the integrity not to deny anyone else the things and people they love, even when that love makes no sense to you.

May you be true to yourself, and may your values never conflict painfully with each other. May you never be obliged to pick the lesser evil and may you be able to stand by your truth without fear. May you uphold the integrity and dignity of others.

May respect be shown to you, and respect shown by you. May life bring you what you deserve, and may you have the courage to speak up in face of that which does not merit respect. Life is worthy of respect, but baseless authority is not.

May you find your best self today and hereafter. May you see the good you can do in the world and be moved by your own potential. May you know your own goodness and strength and be blessed with the wisdom to deploy those qualities effectively.

May your life be free from bitterness, may your heart be open and full of kindness. May the beauties present in the world reveal themselves to you day by day, and may you invite the best in others and in life.

The world is greatly in need of blessings, but we have the scope within us to become blessings. Day by day, we can bless whatever we encounter with the best that we have to bring.

Pagan Portals Sulis

(Nimue, review)

Sulis is one of those classic Iron Age deities – specific to one place and not found anywhere else. Like many ‘Celtic’ Goddesses, we don’t know much about her. In this new book, Rachel Patterson brings together what we know, what we can reasonably infer, and what she’s learned through personal experience.

Sulis is specifically associated with the hot springs at Bath, in the UK. These are the only hot springs in the country, and the Romans built a temple there.

This is a book written for witches, rather than specifically for anyone on the Druid path, but it is highly relevant. The book explores what evidence we have for Sulis specifically – which isn’t a great deal, but it is fascinating. At Bath, the Romans called her Sulis Minvera, so there are inferences we can make from what’s known about Minerva.  There’s also imagery suggesting a male presence – a god or guardian, about whom we know very little.

The material Rachel brings from personal experience is really interesting, too. There are some ritual innovations in this section that I really liked, and that lend themselves to small space rituals, and solitary rituals. Rachel writes from a place of long experience and deep understanding, making her personal gnosis really valuable.

This is a small, very focused book. It’s very readable, and would be of great assistance to anyone interested in developing a relationship with Sulis. I also recommend it to Druid readers for the insight into this fascinating, enigmatic deity and for what there is to learn here about sacred spaces through time.

Find out more and pick up a copy from the publisher’s website https://www.collectiveinkbooks.com/moon-books/our-books/pagan-portals-sulis-solar-goddess-spring-waters or visit your bookseller of preference.