B.A. Tortuga's Blog, page 30

Wordless Wednesday

Sh*t BA Says: Dumb as a Box of Hammers

 

Does this need explanation?

No.

Do I say it?

ALL THE TIME.

Usually in the “I swear to God, Julia, that son of a bitch is as dumb as a box of hammers. Can we kill him with a rock?"

BTW, the answer to that question is ALWAYS, “Yes, baby."

See also, sharp as a bag of wet mice and lacking two brain cells to rub together to spark off a thought.

Much love, y’all.

BA

Bull Riding 101: Bullropes

 

So, the bull rope. 

Quick and dirty definition:

It’s the rope — nylon or grass — that goes around the bull behind his front legs. It’s what the cowboy holds onto during his (hopefully) eight second ride.

What’s it for:

Well, it hold the cowboy on the back of the bull, at least until his happy ass falls off.

theebullryder.proboards.com

Are there different kinds of bull rope:

God, yes.

An American bull rope is made up 5, 7, or 9 plaits, as a rule (5 is the widest and softest, 9 is the narrowest and hardest). The handholds come in three lace options — half lace, full lace and full/skip lace. (a half lace is soft, a full lace is hard and a full/skip is going to be less hard, but you’re also less likely to get tied up in your riding hand. The tails also come in a 5, 7 or 9 plait. 

When you talk about a bull rope, you have a 9/5 plait — 9 plait rope with a 5 plait tail.

A custom braider can add or subtract plaits to customize things even more.

A Brazilian bull rope pulls from the opposite side of American bull ropes.

Here’s a great video where JW Hart explains the difference TONS better than I can (and you get to listen to him talk): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-W3i6AFPrs

What to know how to tie a bull rope? Check this out: http://sankeyrodeo.com/For_Tying_Your_Bull_Rope.html

Why do we care?

See the Wrangler butt?

Pulling rope is one of the great joys of being a bull riding fan. ;-)

Much love, y’all.

BA

What I'm Working on this Week

Writing, writing, la la la Writing:Hand Me Down — sequel to Ever the Same C. Ranch — 1st in a new series for Dreamspun DesiresDouble U — 1st in a new series for Pride PublishingSpotlight — m/m paranormal In edits/rewrites:Refired in editsMidnight Rodeo in editsPicking Roses in editsTrial by Fire in editsOld Town New in rewritesBrewing in edits At beta:Coke’s Clown At proofing:Boys in the BandAnd a SmileAce and Kitty Subbed:Trial by Fire to DSP Next week's plan?ALL THE WORDS!

An Andrew Grey Story

So, normally I tell stories on my family, but Andrew has met both sets of parents, my sisters, one of my brothers, the nieces and he’s participated in a Squires family sing-along, so he qualifies as kin. 

Yeah, y’all can *totally* feel sorry for him. 

Andrew, Julia and I spent 10 days together this spring. We went to a softball game, 2 cons, Dallas, Greenville, Round Rock and Austin. 4 different hotels. Lots of time in Daddy’s truck and he met the horses (I have scars from the chiggers).

I have to tell y’all — I was *so* eager to get back to Austin. I love Austin. I miss it. I was right there.

Then I had J drive by my old house.

There’s a lot of shit that went down there, about 95% of it bad and about 3% of it brutal. 

I started crying.

I cried through the trip to the grocery store. I cried through supper. I cried on a phone call to my moma AND my daddy.

Then I went to give Andrew some Cokes and jellybeans, wherein I burst into tears AGAIN.

Andrew looked at me, hugged me, then said, “Well, going back there was stupid. Never go back. It’s not going to fix anything."

Then he sent me back to my wife with a pat on the back.

I stopped crying.

He’s a good man, Mr. Grey, and I love him dearly and am proud to call him family.

Much love, y’all.

BA

TBT: My Daddy :D

Wordless Wednesday -- The Craft Room

Sh*t BA Says: Standing Around with Your Teeth in Your Mouth

 

So every single time I use this phrase, I hear an editor say, “What does that mean?"

Standing there with your teeth in your mouth means just sitting and staring instead of doing, well, anything. I’ve heard the phrase 10 million times in my life, usually in this sense: Jesus Christ, child, stop standing there with your teeth in your mouth and get your ass over here and help me! 

Also, Goddamnit, stop standing there with your teeth in your mouth and answer the door.

Or, for fuck’s sake, you can either get off your ass and be useful or just sit their with your teeth in your mouth

 

See also, staring like a goat looks at a new fence and gobsmacked.

Much love, y’all.

BA

Cover Reveal: Rainbow Brew: Brewing

Coming in November from All Romance Ebooks

What I'm Working on this week

Writing, writing, la la la Writing:Hand Me Down — sequel to Ever the Same C. Ranch — 1st in a new series for Dreamspun DesiresDouble U — 1st in a new series for Pride Publishing In edits/rewrites:Refired in editsMidnight Rodeo in editsPicking Roses in editsFile Gumbo in editsTrial by Fire in editsOld Town New in rewritesBrewing in edits At beta:Coke’s Clown At proofing:Boys in the BandAnd a SmileAce and Kitty Subbed:Trial by Fire to DSPRainbow Brew: Brewing to ARe Next week's plan?Same thing we do every week, Pinky..