Marcus Lopes's Blog, page 47

Running on Empty

For the past couple of weeks I’ve had to face down a scary demon: Procrastination. It has not been easy, either, trying to stay focused —to not let myself be distracted. It wasn’t enough that I was procrastinating, but the universe had to throw into the mix a debilitating, multi-day migraine that sent me running to the medical clinic down the street. It was as though, just as I was beginning to focus —settle down and work —that the migraine appeared to throw me off kilter. It worked. Sort of...

Procrastination Rehab

In the week since my last post, I’ve been doing my best to confront procrastination instead of letting procrastination tackle me. Some battles I’ve lost, but I like to think that, for the most part, I’ve come out on top. I’ve been paying attention to the habits that distract me —TV, playing Candy Crush, social media, regularly checking internet news sites — from what matters.
Here’s what I’ve learned …
The biggest challenge I face is summoning up the courage to turn off the TV. And that surpri...

Surviving Procrastination

It is bitterly cold here in Toronto this morning, the type of cold where you can see your breath when you breathe. It’s -9°C outside (feels like -17°C), and even though the official start of winter is still weeks away, fall has graciously given way to winter.
And like the ground that begins to freeze, become solid and impenetrable due to the cold winter temperatures, I, too, am frozen. Actually, I’m caught (again) in a debilitating restlessness, and doing my best to break free.
I’ve been strugg...

Driven to Distraction

This afternoon I’m writing from my hotel room in Saskatoon. It’s cold here at -9°C (feeling like -15°C), and we’re expecting five to ten centimetres of snow between this afternoon and Tuesday evening. There is already a light dusting of snow on the ground, and snow covers the rooftops of the buildings that I can see from my seventh-floor room. Earlier I went for a short walk across the street to the Midtown Plaza where I had lunch and grabbed a coffee from the Starbucks on the way back to my...

Broken Man Broke: An Excerpt

“I want you to call home at least once a week,” Margaret Davenport said, searching through her shopping bag-size purse for a tissue as she choked back her tears.
“I promise,” Scott Davenport said.
“And remember to eat.” Margaret dabbed the tissue at her moist eyes. “It’s cafeteria food, and it may not be as good as home cooking, but it’s food. And it’s paid for. You have to keep up your strength.”
“Yes, Mom.” Scott sidled his eyes to his father, who avoided eye contact with him. “I’ll be fine.”
“...

When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Good Enough

“I’m disappointed.”
With those words, Toronto police Chief Bill Blair summed up the feelings of the majority of Torontorians with regard to the recovered video that allegedly showed the mayor using crack cocaine. I, too, am disappointed.
I’m disappointed because, over the weekend, the mayor did not specifically address the video’s contents. He did not own up to his questionable activities and associations, save his repeated instances of public drunkenness. When he had the opportunity to clear t...

On Autumn, Writing and Why Toronto's Mayor Should Resign

It is a wet, cool autumn day. It’s been the perfect day for writing, for any type of creativity. And I’ve been doing my best to savour the day in all its grey beauty. This morning, after completing my Morning Pages, I continued working on the rewrite of a novella. At lunch time I went for a walk under the sombre, grey skies and light rain, and decided to treat myself to a shawarma. After lunch I did a little more writing before preparing tonight’s supper: homemade chicken and squash ravioli.
I...

Let Us Lay Negativity to Rest

When I woke up this morning (Saturday, 5 October) it was dark. At 4:15 am, that’s no surprise. An hour later, a taxi whisked me north across the city to the airport. Later in the morning I arrived in Ottawa to bright, sunny skies. Returning to Toronto, the sky was overcast and the air was cool. At least, for a short time, the Ottawa sun helped to lighten my mood.
I’m a bit tired. Exhausted, actually. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been putting the pedal to the metal. When I’m not flying f...

Hear the Artist in Me Roar!

The other day (last Saturday in fact, 21 September), on a flight from Toronto to Saskatoon, I found myself thinking about my last blog entry, “Restlessness.” I had been thrown off my game last week because restlessness had tackled me the way the ball carrier in a game of rugby is brought to the ground. I felt hopeless. I was caught somewhere between the mountain and the valley, stuck. Immobile. Since then something has shifted, thankfully, and I’m inching my way back up the mountain. I’ve go...

Restlessness

What I love about life is that it’s not linear. There are mountains to climb and valleys to wade through. There are times of progression —when I feel like I’m at the top of my game. There are, also, periods of regression — when it takes all of my energy to soldier on. But life is a journey, and through all the detours and “disruptions,” I’m doing my best to hold steadfast to my dreams and stay centred.
Today I feel caught somewhere between the mountain and the valley. It’s a day when I can’t...