Raissa Rivera Falgui's Blog, page 7
July 31, 2014
New Takes on Sharing
Lately, I've been reading a few articles that suggest that young children should not be taught to share. While I appreciate the insights and reasoning, as someone who wrote and won an award for writing a book on sharing (Hating Kapatid), I can't completely agree. The articles only go halfway, recognizing that sharing is not a value in itself, but failing to appreciate the benefits of sharing.
I was a middle child, which means I had to do more sharing than my older and younger brother did. The only time my mom did not make me share was when the item my kid brother was crying for was girl stuff. And I have resented being made the default sharer in the family. If I didn't get completely turned off from sharing by this, it was because I naturally liked sharing. I almost always wanted someone to play with me so I was quite happy to share with someone who wanted to join in my game.
What I was not happy with was being MADE to share. That is the part I agree with in these articles. Don't MAKE the child share.
I liked how they did it in my daughter's preschool. When children tried to grab from one another or ask for a turn with something, the teachers just said,"Pwedeng mag-share, diba?" (It's possible to share, isn't it?) They presented the action as a possibility but did not compel the child to perform it. Of course, when I was in the school helping the kids make play dough and my daughter was hogging the wooden spoon, I felt obliged to be a bit pushier. I said, "You got to use it a lot already. Maybe Gabby could have a turn." My inherently stubborn daughter gave up the spoon. Then she started to grab it back after a minute. I suggested they could also mix together or she could do something else. They did mix together for a while until the dough got too stiff.
At home, when my kids grab each other's toys, I use the school's way and say, "You can share." And I add the alternative for the one who seems to be losing, "You could play with something else first." I've also taken away the toys they fight over. At least then they can be unhappy together. :)
There are many ways of sharing and compromising, and I think the mistake parents often make is to provide just one solution. Not only is the child being made to give up something, he is being made to do it your way. Nothing could be less empowering.
It's not about teaching or not teaching sharing. It's about teaching empathy. The approaches suggested in these articles seem to emphasize assertiveness at the expense of caring about others.
No, don't make a child share. Just make him or her see the consequences of not sharing, and the rewards of sharing. Start with how they affect the child then progress towards understanding how others are affected. And at the same time help them learn to value people over things. (Take a few tips from the Eyres' Teaching Children Joy, as I did.)
In short, don't make them share. Make them want to share.
I was a middle child, which means I had to do more sharing than my older and younger brother did. The only time my mom did not make me share was when the item my kid brother was crying for was girl stuff. And I have resented being made the default sharer in the family. If I didn't get completely turned off from sharing by this, it was because I naturally liked sharing. I almost always wanted someone to play with me so I was quite happy to share with someone who wanted to join in my game.
What I was not happy with was being MADE to share. That is the part I agree with in these articles. Don't MAKE the child share.
I liked how they did it in my daughter's preschool. When children tried to grab from one another or ask for a turn with something, the teachers just said,"Pwedeng mag-share, diba?" (It's possible to share, isn't it?) They presented the action as a possibility but did not compel the child to perform it. Of course, when I was in the school helping the kids make play dough and my daughter was hogging the wooden spoon, I felt obliged to be a bit pushier. I said, "You got to use it a lot already. Maybe Gabby could have a turn." My inherently stubborn daughter gave up the spoon. Then she started to grab it back after a minute. I suggested they could also mix together or she could do something else. They did mix together for a while until the dough got too stiff.
At home, when my kids grab each other's toys, I use the school's way and say, "You can share." And I add the alternative for the one who seems to be losing, "You could play with something else first." I've also taken away the toys they fight over. At least then they can be unhappy together. :)
There are many ways of sharing and compromising, and I think the mistake parents often make is to provide just one solution. Not only is the child being made to give up something, he is being made to do it your way. Nothing could be less empowering.
It's not about teaching or not teaching sharing. It's about teaching empathy. The approaches suggested in these articles seem to emphasize assertiveness at the expense of caring about others.
No, don't make a child share. Just make him or her see the consequences of not sharing, and the rewards of sharing. Start with how they affect the child then progress towards understanding how others are affected. And at the same time help them learn to value people over things. (Take a few tips from the Eyres' Teaching Children Joy, as I did.)
In short, don't make them share. Make them want to share.
July 26, 2014
Winning Moments
My husband asked the other day if I wanted him and the kids to go with me to the National Children's Book Awards ceremony. I said, "No, I'm not going to win anyway." I pointed out that there were so many good books that came out that year, and predicted that something illustrated by Serge Bumatay would surely win (sorry to my illustrator Fran, who is also talented, but he's much better known). I was certain the Aldy Aguirre illustrated Girl in a Box would win too.
I was dying to wear the royal blue beaded cocktail dress I had only worn once before my son was born. But calculating it mentally, given that afternoon semi-formal is less formal than evening semi-formal I would be a bit overdressed, which might not be too bad if I was an awardee, but I was sure that I wasn't. So I wore my go-to gray dress for afternoon parties, whose sash, I discovered later, I forgot to tie in my haste to leave.
Despite having RSVP'd, I might have been tempted not to go because I was suffering from the heat of the afternoon and I was running late anyway. But I was so worn out from dealing with my kids' morning tantrums that I decided I would definitely go. The irony of going to a children's book event to get a respite from my kids wasn't lost on me.
So there I was catching up with a creative writing classmate when I heard the description of a book about ant siblings. I nearly fainted, and called my husband so he could hear.
At least this situation was a bit better than when I won the Filipino Reader's Choice (for another book, Woman in a Frame) and was a tardy awardee, missing the ceremony by minutes. Here I was slow to go to the stage because I couldn't believe it. I waited to hear the title of the book, Hating Kapatid, just to be sure. I was so unprepared that I used all the wrong words, I think, when speaking. That's why I'm a writer: I'm not too good at impromptu communications. I'm afraid I forgot my manners and missed thanking the award-giving body and judges. So I would like to thank them now.
I would especially like to thank the kid judges. One reason I never thought my book would win was that it was completely ignored by the press, unlike others that were featured in magazines, newspapers and blogs. Several children have told me they enjoyed my book (even older children, like a junior high student who wrote to tell me he could relate to the conflict with the older sibling), but I didn't think it was outstanding enough to win since it didn't get any significant validation from adults. Apparently, as with the other awardees, it was chosen by the kid judges unanimously.
That came to me as a surprise, because I felt that the humor in my book was quite subtle and that it was not as fun as some other newly published books, like my friend Xi Zuq's (which won). Anyway, I would like to thank all kid readers who liked my book. After all, you are the ones I write for.
I was dying to wear the royal blue beaded cocktail dress I had only worn once before my son was born. But calculating it mentally, given that afternoon semi-formal is less formal than evening semi-formal I would be a bit overdressed, which might not be too bad if I was an awardee, but I was sure that I wasn't. So I wore my go-to gray dress for afternoon parties, whose sash, I discovered later, I forgot to tie in my haste to leave.
Despite having RSVP'd, I might have been tempted not to go because I was suffering from the heat of the afternoon and I was running late anyway. But I was so worn out from dealing with my kids' morning tantrums that I decided I would definitely go. The irony of going to a children's book event to get a respite from my kids wasn't lost on me.
So there I was catching up with a creative writing classmate when I heard the description of a book about ant siblings. I nearly fainted, and called my husband so he could hear.
At least this situation was a bit better than when I won the Filipino Reader's Choice (for another book, Woman in a Frame) and was a tardy awardee, missing the ceremony by minutes. Here I was slow to go to the stage because I couldn't believe it. I waited to hear the title of the book, Hating Kapatid, just to be sure. I was so unprepared that I used all the wrong words, I think, when speaking. That's why I'm a writer: I'm not too good at impromptu communications. I'm afraid I forgot my manners and missed thanking the award-giving body and judges. So I would like to thank them now.
I would especially like to thank the kid judges. One reason I never thought my book would win was that it was completely ignored by the press, unlike others that were featured in magazines, newspapers and blogs. Several children have told me they enjoyed my book (even older children, like a junior high student who wrote to tell me he could relate to the conflict with the older sibling), but I didn't think it was outstanding enough to win since it didn't get any significant validation from adults. Apparently, as with the other awardees, it was chosen by the kid judges unanimously.
That came to me as a surprise, because I felt that the humor in my book was quite subtle and that it was not as fun as some other newly published books, like my friend Xi Zuq's (which won). Anyway, I would like to thank all kid readers who liked my book. After all, you are the ones I write for.
July 14, 2014
What Children Want
In tribute to National Children's Book Day, I'm blogging about writing for children. Nothing has given me perspective on what children want out of stories and books than having children--especially my advanced bookworm of a daughter.
Apart from writing stories for kids, some of which have been awarded, and some that are hits, I'm a pretty good hand at choosing books for children. I chose books as presents for two of my husband's godchildren that were such hits we had to help them complete the whole series. The kids were both about eleven at that time. For the boy the series was Judy Blume's Fudge books, stating with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, a book which still makes me laugh, having toddlers of my own. For the girl, Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small series. While these two kids already liked reading, the success of my selections showed what choosing just the right book can do. Both of them went on to read the other three related books. And the girl went beyond Protector of the Small to Pierce's other fantasy series.
For my six-year-old daughter, the winning series is Clementine, which unfortunately is not that available yet around here, so we have not yet gone beyond the second book! (Yes, I like it too.) She also likes Lois Lowry's All About Sam, but I have yet to introduce her to the other Sam books. She also likes fantasy adventure books like My Father's Dragon and The Charmseekers.
From my experience, the books most popular with kids under twelve are those with these traits:
1. Humor. Children love funny books sort of all. I know I did, and I was delighted that my daughter devoured another of my childhood favorites, Chocolate Fever (thanks for the reissue, Scholastic!) For my hard-to-please eleven-year-old tutee, the book that won her over was Ann M. Martin's Yours Turly, Shirley--which while funny also dealt with the serious issues of dealing with dyslexia, comparing oneself to siblings, and adoption. In local books, Adarna's But that Won't Wake Me Up and its companion book are winners. We also love Tuko (an old Chikiting book).
2. A character they can identify with. My daughter is Clementine--can't keep still or stay focused, hates to write, comes up with crazy games and art projects. Before that, she was obsessed with Olivia, Lily the Mouse, and Angelina Ballerina. Locally there is now Becky Bravo's Kulasa, which hopefully will become a series.
The boy I gave the Fudge books to had two younger siblings, like the first-person narrator. For some reason, this kind of character story is usually written for girls. But there are some for boys, like Cyndy Szekeres' Toby picture books, Kevin Henkes' Owen and others, and Beverly Cleary has Henry Huggins, Otis Spofford, and Leigh Botts (Dear Mr. Henshaw and Strider) books. Locally there are the O, Mateo! books. I suspect that we take it for granted boys will do quirky things, so we find it cuter when girls do--hence greater interest in writing and buying books with madcap girl protagonists. They also tend to be cuter to draw. Note the great variation among Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Madeline, Clementine, and Ramona, all the different hairstyles and fashion, whereas with boys it will be kind of ho-hum, jeans or overalls, mostly. Why Owen and Toby have practically the same outfit, though these mice are drawn by different artists.
But dealing with feelings, friends, and family isn't just for girls. If we want boys to grow up to be in touch with their emotions, acknowledge their faults, and relate well with others, they need these kinds of books too. Maybe someday I'll come up with a series based on my music-mad son.
3. Fantasy and adventure. Fantasy and adventure are usually conceived for boys, but girls like such books too. Alas, I think there's gender stereotyping in preferring male protagonists here, because these usually have a quest plot, so we assume they require some kind of knight in shining armor. But Tamora Pierce shows that the role of rescuer has just as much appeal to girls. Locally, there are already plenty of books that have fantasy and adventure. But I think what really hooks a reader is a detailed, appealing world that they can keep coming back to. Yes, where is the Filipino Harry Potter? And I don't mean the translations!
Of course, I should probably put my money where my mouth is and write some of these. Well, my Hating Kapatid does have subtle humor and kids can relate to the protagonist. I also have other manuscripts, most of which have yet to be published. Herein lies the problem. Adults do the writing, purchasing, and publishing. And what kids love doesn't necessarily appeal to us. This is an especial problem for writers, since you can't write something you're not excited about. I have never (even as a kid) been good at dreaming up fantasy worlds. I remember making up a planet where everything was blue during a Star Wars roleplaying game session. My kid brother kind of rolled his eyes and I couldn't blame him.
On the part of parents and teachers, there is a tendency to want educational elements and/or moral values. Here, I should remind them that just getting kids to read has educational value in itself, and moral values are inherent in a child protagonist's proactiveness in solving a problem. And the love of reading is a worthy moral value that can only be taught by getting a child to fall in love with a book.
Apart from writing stories for kids, some of which have been awarded, and some that are hits, I'm a pretty good hand at choosing books for children. I chose books as presents for two of my husband's godchildren that were such hits we had to help them complete the whole series. The kids were both about eleven at that time. For the boy the series was Judy Blume's Fudge books, stating with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, a book which still makes me laugh, having toddlers of my own. For the girl, Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small series. While these two kids already liked reading, the success of my selections showed what choosing just the right book can do. Both of them went on to read the other three related books. And the girl went beyond Protector of the Small to Pierce's other fantasy series.
For my six-year-old daughter, the winning series is Clementine, which unfortunately is not that available yet around here, so we have not yet gone beyond the second book! (Yes, I like it too.) She also likes Lois Lowry's All About Sam, but I have yet to introduce her to the other Sam books. She also likes fantasy adventure books like My Father's Dragon and The Charmseekers.
From my experience, the books most popular with kids under twelve are those with these traits:
1. Humor. Children love funny books sort of all. I know I did, and I was delighted that my daughter devoured another of my childhood favorites, Chocolate Fever (thanks for the reissue, Scholastic!) For my hard-to-please eleven-year-old tutee, the book that won her over was Ann M. Martin's Yours Turly, Shirley--which while funny also dealt with the serious issues of dealing with dyslexia, comparing oneself to siblings, and adoption. In local books, Adarna's But that Won't Wake Me Up and its companion book are winners. We also love Tuko (an old Chikiting book).
2. A character they can identify with. My daughter is Clementine--can't keep still or stay focused, hates to write, comes up with crazy games and art projects. Before that, she was obsessed with Olivia, Lily the Mouse, and Angelina Ballerina. Locally there is now Becky Bravo's Kulasa, which hopefully will become a series.
The boy I gave the Fudge books to had two younger siblings, like the first-person narrator. For some reason, this kind of character story is usually written for girls. But there are some for boys, like Cyndy Szekeres' Toby picture books, Kevin Henkes' Owen and others, and Beverly Cleary has Henry Huggins, Otis Spofford, and Leigh Botts (Dear Mr. Henshaw and Strider) books. Locally there are the O, Mateo! books. I suspect that we take it for granted boys will do quirky things, so we find it cuter when girls do--hence greater interest in writing and buying books with madcap girl protagonists. They also tend to be cuter to draw. Note the great variation among Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Madeline, Clementine, and Ramona, all the different hairstyles and fashion, whereas with boys it will be kind of ho-hum, jeans or overalls, mostly. Why Owen and Toby have practically the same outfit, though these mice are drawn by different artists.
But dealing with feelings, friends, and family isn't just for girls. If we want boys to grow up to be in touch with their emotions, acknowledge their faults, and relate well with others, they need these kinds of books too. Maybe someday I'll come up with a series based on my music-mad son.
3. Fantasy and adventure. Fantasy and adventure are usually conceived for boys, but girls like such books too. Alas, I think there's gender stereotyping in preferring male protagonists here, because these usually have a quest plot, so we assume they require some kind of knight in shining armor. But Tamora Pierce shows that the role of rescuer has just as much appeal to girls. Locally, there are already plenty of books that have fantasy and adventure. But I think what really hooks a reader is a detailed, appealing world that they can keep coming back to. Yes, where is the Filipino Harry Potter? And I don't mean the translations!
Of course, I should probably put my money where my mouth is and write some of these. Well, my Hating Kapatid does have subtle humor and kids can relate to the protagonist. I also have other manuscripts, most of which have yet to be published. Herein lies the problem. Adults do the writing, purchasing, and publishing. And what kids love doesn't necessarily appeal to us. This is an especial problem for writers, since you can't write something you're not excited about. I have never (even as a kid) been good at dreaming up fantasy worlds. I remember making up a planet where everything was blue during a Star Wars roleplaying game session. My kid brother kind of rolled his eyes and I couldn't blame him.
On the part of parents and teachers, there is a tendency to want educational elements and/or moral values. Here, I should remind them that just getting kids to read has educational value in itself, and moral values are inherent in a child protagonist's proactiveness in solving a problem. And the love of reading is a worthy moral value that can only be taught by getting a child to fall in love with a book.
What Children Want
In tribute to National Children's Book Day, I'm blogging about writing for children. Nothing has given me perspective on what children want out of stories and books than having children--especially my advanced bookworm of a daughter.
Apart from writing stories for kids, some of which have been awarded, and some that are hits, I'm a pretty good hand at choosing books for children. I chose books as presents for two of my husband's godchildren that were such hits we had to help them complete the whole series. The kids were both about eleven at that time. For the boy the series was Judy Blume's Fudge books, stating with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, a book which still makes me laugh, having toddlers of my own. For the girl, Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small series. While these two kids already liked reading, the success of my selections showed what choosing just the right book can do. Both of them went on to read the other three related books. And the girl went beyond Protector of the Small to Pierce's other fantasy series.
For my six-year-old daughter, the winning series is Clementine, which unfortunately is not that available yet around here, so we have not yet gone beyond the second book! (Yes, I like it too.) She also likes Lois Lowry's All About Sam, but I have yet to introduce her to the other Sam books. She also likes fantasy adventure books like My Father's Dragon and The Charmseekers.
From my experience, the books most popular with kids under twelve are those with these traits:
1. Humor. Children love funny books sort of all. I know I did, and I was delighted that my daughter devoured another of my childhood favorites, Chocolate Fever (thanks for the reissue, Scholastic!) For my hard-to-please eleven-year-old tutee, the book that won her over was Ann M. Martin's Yours Turly, Shirley--which while funny also dealt with the serious issues of dealing with dyslexia, comparing oneself to siblings, and adoption. In local books, Adarna's But that Won't Wake Me Up and its companion book are winners. We also love Tuko (an old Chikiting book).
2. A character they can identify with. My daughter is Clementine--can't keep still or stay focused, hates to write, comes up with crazy games and art projects. Before that, she was obsessed with Olivia, Lily the Mouse, and Angelina Ballerina. Locally there is now Becky Bravo's Kulasa, which hopefully will become a series.
The boy I gave the Fudge books to had two younger siblings, like the first-person narrator. For some reason, this kind of character story is usually written for girls. But there are some for boys, like Cyndy Szekeres' Toby picture books, Kevin Henkes' Owen and others, and Beverly Cleary has Henry Huggins, Otis Spofford, and Leigh Botts (Dear Mr. Henshaw and Strider) books. Locally there are the O, Mateo! books. I suspect that we take it for granted boys will do quirky things, so we find it cuter when girls do--hence greater interest in writing and buying books with madcap girl protagonists. They also tend to be cuter to draw. Note the great variation among Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Madeline, Clementine, and Ramona, all the different hairstyles and fashion, whereas with boys it will be kind of ho-hum, jeans or overalls, mostly. Why Owen and Toby have practically the same outfit, though these mice are drawn by different artists.
But dealing with feelings, friends, and family isn't just for girls. If we want boys to grow up to be in touch with their emotions, acknowledge their faults, and relate well with others, they need these kinds of books too. Maybe someday I'll come up with a series based on my music-mad son.
3. Fantasy and adventure. Fantasy and adventure are usually conceived for boys, but girls like such books too. Alas, I think there's gender stereotyping in preferring male protagonists here, because these usually have a quest plot, so we assume they require some kind of knight in shining armor. But Tamora Pierce shows that the role of rescuer has just as much appeal to girls. Locally, there are already plenty of books that have fantasy and adventure. But I think what really hooks a reader is a detailed, appealing world that they can keep coming back to. Yes, where is the Filipino Harry Potter? And I don't mean the translations!
Of course, I should probably put my money where my mouth is and write some of these. Well, my Hating Kapatid does have subtle humor and kids can relate to the protagonist. I also have other manuscripts, most of which have yet to be published. Herein lies the problem. Adults do the writing, purchasing, and publishing. And what kids love doesn't necessarily appeal to us. This is an especial problem for writers, since you can't write something you're not excited about. I have never (even as a kid) been good at dreaming up fantasy worlds. I remember making up a planet where everything was blue during a Star Wars roleplaying game session. My kid brother kind of rolled his eyes and I couldn't blame him.
On the part of parents and teachers, there is a tendency to want educational elements and/or moral values. Here, I should remind them that just getting kids to read has educational value in itself, and moral values are inherent in a child protagonist's proactiveness in solving a problem. And the love of reading is a worthy moral value that can only be taught by getting a child to fall in love with a book.
Apart from writing stories for kids, some of which have been awarded, and some that are hits, I'm a pretty good hand at choosing books for children. I chose books as presents for two of my husband's godchildren that were such hits we had to help them complete the whole series. The kids were both about eleven at that time. For the boy the series was Judy Blume's Fudge books, stating with Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, a book which still makes me laugh, having toddlers of my own. For the girl, Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small series. While these two kids already liked reading, the success of my selections showed what choosing just the right book can do. Both of them went on to read the other three related books. And the girl went beyond Protector of the Small to Pierce's other fantasy series.
For my six-year-old daughter, the winning series is Clementine, which unfortunately is not that available yet around here, so we have not yet gone beyond the second book! (Yes, I like it too.) She also likes Lois Lowry's All About Sam, but I have yet to introduce her to the other Sam books. She also likes fantasy adventure books like My Father's Dragon and The Charmseekers.
From my experience, the books most popular with kids under twelve are those with these traits:
1. Humor. Children love funny books sort of all. I know I did, and I was delighted that my daughter devoured another of my childhood favorites, Chocolate Fever (thanks for the reissue, Scholastic!) For my hard-to-please eleven-year-old tutee, the book that won her over was Ann M. Martin's Yours Turly, Shirley--which while funny also dealt with the serious issues of dealing with dyslexia, comparing oneself to siblings, and adoption. In local books, Adarna's But that Won't Wake Me Up and its companion book are winners. We also love Tuko (an old Chikiting book).
2. A character they can identify with. My daughter is Clementine--can't keep still or stay focused, hates to write, comes up with crazy games and art projects. Before that, she was obsessed with Olivia, Lily the Mouse, and Angelina Ballerina. Locally there is now Becky Bravo's Kulasa, which hopefully will become a series.
The boy I gave the Fudge books to had two younger siblings, like the first-person narrator. For some reason, this kind of character story is usually written for girls. But there are some for boys, like Cyndy Szekeres' Toby picture books, Kevin Henkes' Owen and others, and Beverly Cleary has Henry Huggins, Otis Spofford, and Leigh Botts (Dear Mr. Henshaw and Strider) books. Locally there are the O, Mateo! books. I suspect that we take it for granted boys will do quirky things, so we find it cuter when girls do--hence greater interest in writing and buying books with madcap girl protagonists. They also tend to be cuter to draw. Note the great variation among Eloise, Fancy Nancy, Madeline, Clementine, and Ramona, all the different hairstyles and fashion, whereas with boys it will be kind of ho-hum, jeans or overalls, mostly. Why Owen and Toby have practically the same outfit, though these mice are drawn by different artists.
But dealing with feelings, friends, and family isn't just for girls. If we want boys to grow up to be in touch with their emotions, acknowledge their faults, and relate well with others, they need these kinds of books too. Maybe someday I'll come up with a series based on my music-mad son.
3. Fantasy and adventure. Fantasy and adventure are usually conceived for boys, but girls like such books too. Alas, I think there's gender stereotyping in preferring male protagonists here, because these usually have a quest plot, so we assume they require some kind of knight in shining armor. But Tamora Pierce shows that the role of rescuer has just as much appeal to girls. Locally, there are already plenty of books that have fantasy and adventure. But I think what really hooks a reader is a detailed, appealing world that they can keep coming back to. Yes, where is the Filipino Harry Potter? And I don't mean the translations!
Of course, I should probably put my money where my mouth is and write some of these. Well, my Hating Kapatid does have subtle humor and kids can relate to the protagonist. I also have other manuscripts, most of which have yet to be published. Herein lies the problem. Adults do the writing, purchasing, and publishing. And what kids love doesn't necessarily appeal to us. This is an especial problem for writers, since you can't write something you're not excited about. I have never (even as a kid) been good at dreaming up fantasy worlds. I remember making up a planet where everything was blue during a Star Wars roleplaying game session. My kid brother kind of rolled his eyes and I couldn't blame him.
On the part of parents and teachers, there is a tendency to want educational elements and/or moral values. Here, I should remind them that just getting kids to read has educational value in itself, and moral values are inherent in a child protagonist's proactiveness in solving a problem. And the love of reading is a worthy moral value that can only be taught by getting a child to fall in love with a book.
July 12, 2014
The Harry-Ginny dilemma
An article by Rowling on Harry Potter 19 years later got me clicking on links and searching. Mainly, I was interested in opinions on the Harry-Ginny relationship. Though I felt bad that Neville and Luna didn't end up together too. Oh, well, I guess Neville needed some stability in his life.
Characters really do end up taking a life of their own, and I think Rowling wasn't following her intuition in developing Ginny but falling back on cliches. In Order of the Phoenix, Rowling was clearly trying to make her out into a cliche girly girl which is the general perception of what guys like. She gave her a delicate flowery scent and made her adopt a super cutesy purple puffling. This seemed a bad fit for her seeing that Ginny was at her best playing Quidditch and making wisecracks. Rowling later casts her in another traditionally feminine role as a nurse (awkward for a youngest child who'd be unused to nursing) then thrusts her back into damsel in distress, a role that she'd been outgrowing since book 5. All the while insisting that Ginny was strong. Oh well, that was Harry's point of view.
I think she was trying to make her into some kind of feminine ideal, the typical sort that heroes go for. But Harry isn't a traditional hero either. He's a sporty and curious kid who's unsure of himself and longs for security. And he isn't even that into traditional femininity. Harry isn't that turned on by ultra-girly Fleur, finding her kind of silly, even, but he was attracted to Cho when she was playing Quidditch.
Rowling should have just had them bond over their shared insecurities. Clearly Ginny's adulation, along with that of others, bolsters Harry's ego--but this also results in his becoming obnoxious and overconfident to the point of making a serious misjudgment. It would have helped Harry mature if he could acknowledge how unsure of himself he is deep inside, and it would have made him closer to Ginny if he could talk to her about it--she was after all a youngest child constantly having to deal with teasing and pretty much at sea when it came to girl stuff. Their best moment in the book series was when they connected over being cursed. She tells him: "Well, [hiding] was a bit stupid of you [...] seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels" Ginny in Order of the Phoenix . Ginny sounded so much like her mother then in her combination of being nurturing and bossy. Which is one thing that makes me uneasy about the relationship, as we know Harry sees Molly as his surrogate mother and his attraction to Ginny may be the expectation that she will be that kind of mother to him.
But ultimately I want them to be together because I like Ginny and she loved Harry. So I sought convincing arguments for their being okay together (I just can't feel that they're perfect together the way Ron and Hermione are--and BTW Rowling thinks they aren't, which suggests to me that understanding romantic relationships isn't her strong point). Anyway, the best argument seems to be that they had a shared sense of humor (that Weasely brand of fun that appealed to Harry from the start). An article in Leaky Cauldron brings this up. It especially convinces me because it references a lot of dialog from The Half-blood Prince which I'd forgotten. I have to admit I found Half-Blood so dreary I skimmed a lot of it.
The fact is they didn't have an extended dialog when they were a happy couple, which is what is needed to convince us they were. But thanks to the heads up in that article about their shared enjoyment of wisecracks, I can now imagine it a bit. I can imagine them meeting by the lake, where Harry might start talking about how his parents used to meet there and Ginny commenting on how hard it was to grow up without them. This would then lead to Harry telling the tricks he played to deal with his aunt, uncle and cousin, drawing appreciative laughter from Ginny. She'd then share her own tricks for dealing with her family and then, amidst shared laughter, they can kiss. And it wouldn't seem as awkward as it does in the movies.
They tried to make her an ethereal, unreachable ideal in the films, which didn't work that well, either, though at least they were given more intimate moments in the movie. That's what's needed really. Creating romantic moments isn't just for thrills. It's often needed to develop characters and their relationships--and Harry and Ginny definitely needed more of that.
Characters really do end up taking a life of their own, and I think Rowling wasn't following her intuition in developing Ginny but falling back on cliches. In Order of the Phoenix, Rowling was clearly trying to make her out into a cliche girly girl which is the general perception of what guys like. She gave her a delicate flowery scent and made her adopt a super cutesy purple puffling. This seemed a bad fit for her seeing that Ginny was at her best playing Quidditch and making wisecracks. Rowling later casts her in another traditionally feminine role as a nurse (awkward for a youngest child who'd be unused to nursing) then thrusts her back into damsel in distress, a role that she'd been outgrowing since book 5. All the while insisting that Ginny was strong. Oh well, that was Harry's point of view.
I think she was trying to make her into some kind of feminine ideal, the typical sort that heroes go for. But Harry isn't a traditional hero either. He's a sporty and curious kid who's unsure of himself and longs for security. And he isn't even that into traditional femininity. Harry isn't that turned on by ultra-girly Fleur, finding her kind of silly, even, but he was attracted to Cho when she was playing Quidditch.
Rowling should have just had them bond over their shared insecurities. Clearly Ginny's adulation, along with that of others, bolsters Harry's ego--but this also results in his becoming obnoxious and overconfident to the point of making a serious misjudgment. It would have helped Harry mature if he could acknowledge how unsure of himself he is deep inside, and it would have made him closer to Ginny if he could talk to her about it--she was after all a youngest child constantly having to deal with teasing and pretty much at sea when it came to girl stuff. Their best moment in the book series was when they connected over being cursed. She tells him: "Well, [hiding] was a bit stupid of you [...] seeing as you don't know anyone but me who's been possessed by You-Know-Who, and I can tell you how it feels" Ginny in Order of the Phoenix . Ginny sounded so much like her mother then in her combination of being nurturing and bossy. Which is one thing that makes me uneasy about the relationship, as we know Harry sees Molly as his surrogate mother and his attraction to Ginny may be the expectation that she will be that kind of mother to him.
But ultimately I want them to be together because I like Ginny and she loved Harry. So I sought convincing arguments for their being okay together (I just can't feel that they're perfect together the way Ron and Hermione are--and BTW Rowling thinks they aren't, which suggests to me that understanding romantic relationships isn't her strong point). Anyway, the best argument seems to be that they had a shared sense of humor (that Weasely brand of fun that appealed to Harry from the start). An article in Leaky Cauldron brings this up. It especially convinces me because it references a lot of dialog from The Half-blood Prince which I'd forgotten. I have to admit I found Half-Blood so dreary I skimmed a lot of it.
The fact is they didn't have an extended dialog when they were a happy couple, which is what is needed to convince us they were. But thanks to the heads up in that article about their shared enjoyment of wisecracks, I can now imagine it a bit. I can imagine them meeting by the lake, where Harry might start talking about how his parents used to meet there and Ginny commenting on how hard it was to grow up without them. This would then lead to Harry telling the tricks he played to deal with his aunt, uncle and cousin, drawing appreciative laughter from Ginny. She'd then share her own tricks for dealing with her family and then, amidst shared laughter, they can kiss. And it wouldn't seem as awkward as it does in the movies.
They tried to make her an ethereal, unreachable ideal in the films, which didn't work that well, either, though at least they were given more intimate moments in the movie. That's what's needed really. Creating romantic moments isn't just for thrills. It's often needed to develop characters and their relationships--and Harry and Ginny definitely needed more of that.
July 2, 2014
Oh, What's in a Name?
In a book I'm currently working on, I have been constantly changing the names of the characters, including some really minor ones.
June 29, 2014
When It's Okay to Scare Kids
My daughter scares easy, which is why I have to be wary about giving her any books that are frightening. When we watch movies, she wants to leave the room everytime the villain comes on the scene.
June 26, 2014
Ah, Yes, This IS My Life
Because my birthday is at the beginning of July, I rarely think about it until I realize that June is almost over.
June 9, 2014
What Fairy Tales are Really About
I recently watched Maleficent, the reimagining of the fairy tale film which I appropriately pretty much slept through as a child. I must have been about eight when I watched it on video.
