Chris Dee's Blog: Chris Dee's Cat-Tales Blog, page 17

Gallery Spotlight: Clayface and Killer Croc

I don’t normally view Character Portraits as companion pieces, but these two for Clayface and Killer Croc have a similar visual structure: each character comprises only half the visual space, the story being less their physical bodies than their reaction to what’s on the other half of the screen.

Matt Hagen: Then and Now

Matt Hagen as Clayface viewing an old movie poster – Matt Hagen as Grant Gifford in Advocate for Love. (“Spirited but derivative” -Roger Ebert, Metropolis Sun Times)

When I introduced Matt in Blueprints I borrowed an amusing character bit from Simon Brett’s Charles Paris.  Whenever he remembers a role he played, he mentally recites one or two of the reviews.  I had forgotten that we alluded to this with his character portrait, quoting none other than Roger Ebert.  RIP to that greatest of rarities, a critic we could all respect.

“I never have any trouble with Waylon since I showed him a picture of his head photoshopped onto a green crocodile Kelly bag.” -Selina Kyle, The Gotham Post

Gallery Spotlight: Street Patrol

When we hear Cosplay, we mostly think of posed shots, either with a smiling character on a convention floor, or in beautifully staged scenes like the previously featured pair: Shadow of the Bat and of Catwoman vs Azrael inspired by the Knightfall / Knightquest era comics.

That’s why I was so excited to have a few pieces like Batman: Street Patrol which doesn’t seem posed or contrived at all.

Street Patrol by Underground Justice League Alliance from the Cosplay Gallery at catwoman-cattales.com

Indeed, it looks like a random person spotted Batman one night and hastily took the best picture they could.  But for all the appearance of spontaneity, there is quite a lot of craft in this composition.  Note how just enough definition on the cape and ears and just enough reflection on the cowl to say ‘Batman.”

Hyena Tales

Celebrating 12 Years | 67 Tales | 2 Hyenas

Greetings, Internet!

All right-thinking Gotham-watchers among you will be thrilled to learn that the Batman-centric twaddle formerly residing at catwoman-cattales.com has been purged and the moving story of two hyenas finding love in the domicile of a misbegotten clown has taken its place.

2 hyenas | The clown they love | The bat they hate | The ditzy blonde who walks them

You’ll thrill to the bone-chilling roller coaster of a semi-literate sociopath mixing metaphors and mutilating infinitives to bring you the most rip-roaringest hyena porn seen, heard or smelt since Agnes McGillicutty turned that Twillo fanfic into the global bestseller 50 Shades of Grayson.

In a world gone mad, in a Ha-Hacienda without central heating, 2hyenas find love. And Silly Putty

You’ll cheer as the stupid blonde forgets to pay the electric bill, forcing the hyenas to cling to each other for warmth (even as they secretly plot to eat each other when the kibble runs out!)

You can’t spell ‘slaughter’ without LAUGHTER. Something to think about.

You’ll weep, weep openly like the little girl you are when you read the disclaimer that no hyenas, bats, or even people were harmed in the making of this website.  WHY?  WHY couldn’t we sacrifice even a few fluffy kittens or pimply-faced fanboys to give the whole thing some realism?  Why am I plagued with such a sqeamish and tiny little minds.  You all disgust me.  Go away.

Uh, Cat-Tales website and Chris Dee’s Cat-Tales blog appear to have been hacked by Joker for April Fool’s Day.  We hope to have everything back to normal as soon as we get him back in his cage.

Respect Your Cat Day

It’s Respect Your Cat Day!  A little-known holiday commemorating the date when in the Year of Our Lord One Thoufand Three Hundred Eighty Four, Richard II of England did iffue an edict forbidding the confumption of catf.

It might not be a big deal to you, but around here, Selina’s cats Whiskers and Nutmeg are (by far) the most popular original characters in Cat-Tales.  I’ve lost count how many times I’ve been asked “which story it was when… they came to the manor and Whiskers is excited that he found that cave smell they associate with Bat-Bruce from all his visits to Selina’s apartment (It was Splitzville), when Nutmeg conquered Alfred so completely with her silent miaow (also Splitzville), when Whiskers followed Bruce into the cave passage and was scared witless by all the flying mice (Strange Bedfellows) or when the feud was established between Whiskers and Batman’s cape because it kept brushing against his favorite plant on the terrace and messing up the leaves where he played “Stalking Jungle Cat of Death” (I really couldn’t tell you, it’s referenced in a lot of tales.)

So anyway, Respect Your Cat Day is something we like to observe.  Pictures are yours for the taking.  Let all those who don’t eat cats feel free to like and share.

A New Cat Tale Begins – Inside an Enigma

Cat-Tales has never “ripped from the headlines” like some aggressive police procedural. We creep in, blending with the shadows, deftly snipping a wire there, nullifying the sensors with a wave cancellation box over there, and spiriting it away before anyone knows what’s happened.



Batman’s enemies in Arkham and Ra’s al Ghul rotting in an Atlantis jail. Gotham should be quiet. And a quiet Gotham is a paradox wrapped in a puzzlement inside a mystery encased in a riddle surrounded by…

Chapter 1: Diamonds are for Stealing on the Cat-Tales website and mobile-friendly mirror Cat-Tales.mobi

A New Cat-Tale Begins-BUT FIRST!

For a backstage gal like me, there are few things as exciting as prepping a new story for release.  And possibly because some masochistic mutation inside my common sense cortex actually likes the mad whirlwind to put out fires erupting between dress rehearsal and opening night, I decided to put out a new wallpaper at the same time.

Armed robbers have made off with a ‘gigantic’ haul of diamonds after a rapid raid at Brussels Airport.

No, no, no, that’s teasing the first chapter.  Who would want that for their desktop wallpaper?

New series of HD wallpapers for widescreen, PC, Android tablets and phones, iPad and iPhone

That’s much better.

Much as we all love the claw marks cutting into that purple leather of the first generation Cat-Tales wallpapers, times have changed, desktops have changed, and it’s time for a new selection for HD widescreen and mobile device images.

I asked CT readers what they’d like to see, and this image of the Bat Family gathering on a Gotham roof to watch the sunrise seemed the perfect way to begin.

Download for all screen ratios and devices exclusively on the Cat-Tales website

Gallery Spotlight: Roxy Rocket

Roxanne Sutton, aka Roxy Rocket.  When I did a Blogtalk interview a few years back, I learned Roxy was intended to be “the next Harley Quinn” when she was introduced in Batman: the Animated Series.  It was news, but I wasn’t particularly surprised.  When something is successful, it’s natural to do it try again – but to pull it off, you need to understand what made the original successful.  It’s not unusual for Batman-related efforts to blow it on that last part. It’s not unusual for creators to reproduce the wrong elements of a successful character or storyline.  Poor Roxy.

This commission by Remidar was such a good portrait image, it freed me up to go in a different direction with Roxy’s official character portrait.

Harley Quinn was created for voiced by Arleen Sorkin, which brought a lot of fun and quirkiness which had been all but outlawed in Post-Crisis, Burtonized Gotham. More importantly, appealing as she was, she was not burdened creating her own star power. She walked in alongside the biggest name in the Rogues Gallery, and it was her interactions with Joker, and later with Poison Ivy, that gave the character room to develop.

Not so Roxy, who was just tossed out there without any connections to anyone or anything. If she’s had a better run in Cat-Tales, it’s because of her interactions with the established Rogues. Her inherited daredevil recklessness complimented by a burning desire to achieve that stature as one of them (as her creators intended) and lurking insecurity because she hasn’t…

“Parking is for wimps”
Roxy’s official Cat-Tales Character Portrait stresses her penchant for bringing destruction, even (especially) at the Iceberg.

Sleeping with Oswald Cobblepot (Knight Before Christmas), posing as Jervis’s respectable non-criminal fiancé to fool his Aunt Maud (Something Borrowed), and most memorably, getting into an epic girl-on-girl dust up with Poison Ivy – maybe the best instance of how Roxy can go off when her fragile position among the rogues is threatened.  An episode that was so rip-roaringly loaded with visuals wanting to be seen, our resident Poser artist Thundering Monkey became a Poser artist – literally taught himself the program – just to make this slideshow filmlet happen.

So here’s the truth, Pammy, direct from me to you: a healthy red-blooded guy will grab at anything once, particularly if it’s rubbing up and down on him like a three-dollar whore. That’s not true love, it’s not even grooving on your lemon scented beauty. It’s just what they do.
-Roxy Rocket, An Iceberg Tale

Gallery Spotlight: Portraits al Ghul

One of the subtler bits in Cat-Tales that might amuse only me, the cult of personality Ra’s al Ghul has built around himself includes naming just about everything he does and touches as the /Name of thing/ al Ghul. In Napoleon’s Plan Ra’s undergoes the ritual of the Mergulho al Ghul literally the “dipping of the Demon.” He brings Bruce (actually Selina) the Ata al Ghul – the Gift of the Demon. When he’s got the munchies after that pit-dip, you just know there’s a minion somewhere in charge of delivering the daily snack of the Demon.

Minions of the decadent west, it is therefore my unworthy honor to present the Character Portraits al Ghul…

Ra’s al Ghul, Light of the East, Terror of the West, Apex of the Age of Oneness through One Rule, etc etc deigns to visit the DEMON base in Gotham’s Chinatown

Guest Blog: Spotlight on Poison Ivy

If fan author and Blogtalk Radio host Allaine isn’t Poison Ivy’s greatest fan, he is certainly in the top three, so he was the natural choice to host a quick tour of the Poison Ivy pieces in the Cat-Tales gallery…

“Her skin is alabaster, not green.
She is a natural redhead, since henna is a plant.
Paper is murder.
Harvey Dent is a two-timing skunk.”
-The Ballad of Humoring Pamela, Awkward Pauses

Gallery Spotlight: Poison Ivy

by Allaine

As a reigning sex symbol in the DC Universe for two decades, Poison Ivy has long been a favorite subject of fan artists and cosplayers. Unfortunately, many of these people feel the need to deviate from the original design and put their own “twist” on it. Why tamper with greatness? Two artists who did not make this mistake can be seen in the Cat-Tales collection. Although Anya Uribe and Selina Enriquez’s styles are quite different, both zeroed in on and enhanced those elements that define Poison Ivy.

I was excited to compare and contrast two artistic takes on the character because – like Harvey, the man she can’t ever seem to move past – Ivy presents two faces to the world.

Pretty Poison by Anya Uribe

In “Pretty Poison” Anya Uribe gives us the gorgeous seductress who uses sex as a weapon, never shy about showing ample cleavage and skin – which we see here is obviously green, and not the alabaster Ivy insists it is.  Here Uribe emphasizes the soft, voluptuous curves of a sensual woman who has never needed to do the heavy lifting herself (and hence got that shapely ass handed to her in a catfight with Roxy Rocket in An Iceberg Tale)

Poison Ivy (pencils) by Selina Enriquez

Selina Enriquez, on the other hand, has created a Poison Ivy that alludes to the malicious killer who never shies away from violence against those she thinks deserve it – like when she held the Batman as a greened prisoner for days in Blueprints for the sole purpose of finding a way to kill Clayface.

While we still see her beauty, here we notice the narrowed, slanted eyes that suggest coldness and determination. Fittingly, for a woman who has always fancied herself part plant, it’s almost as if that plant is an outgrowth of her own body. This is a woman who isn’t just insane; maybe she isn’t completely human, and will never be like the rest of us. (But still insanely hot.)

Allaine is host of FemSlash4Fans on Blogtalk Radio and has authored fan fiction for Batman, DC Superheroes, Kim Possible, Justice League, X-Men, DC Elseworlds, Gargoyles, Once Upon a Time, Honor Harrington, 30 Rock, and The Devil Wears Prada.

Gallery Spotlight: Ruffles v Ruffles

Monday’s spotlight on all the Harley Quinn appearances in the fan gallery reminded me that there are two instances where artists working in different media gave us their take on the exact same Cat-Tales moments – and both involve Selina – the chic, the beautiful, the sophisticated and sexy Selina – encased in one of the least chic and sexy garments an attractive woman subjects herself to voluntarily: the bridesmaid’s dress… In Dearly Beloved, Barbara Gordon married Dick Grayson.  Selina was a bridesmaid.  There were ruffles.  They were yellow.

OMG, Yellow ruffles? by Remidar

Although, quite honestly, while we all agree that Belle from Beauty and the Beast isn’t exactly Selina’s style, most of us find Remidar’s rendition quite lovely.

The Poser rendition perhaps captures the full horror

Okay, Catwoman was never captured, but… yellow ruffles. There’s some justice there, surely.