Matador Network's Blog, page 2272

How to decorate Easter eggs

PAINTING EGGS IS a big part of celebrating Velikonoce, or Easter in the Czech Republic. I could never quite master the art of the elaborately painted egg, resorting to chemically-processed dye tablets and smelly vinegar water instead, but every year I try to do right by my heritage. Many other countries around the world decorate eggs to celebrate Easter as well — here’s a great guide on how to join in the tradition, beginning with the proper way to boil eggs.

Happy Easter, from your friends at Matador Network!

by Lemonly.
Explore more visuals like this one on the web’s largest information design community – Visually.

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4 impressive 'rewilding' projects

Photo: mark

Human populations have been destroying natural habitats for thousands of years without realizing that our lives depend on wild places. Here are four rewilding projects that aim to restore some of our planet’s ecosystems and may offer us a chance at redemption.

1. Rewilding Europe

What is it?

Rewilding Europe is a vast project whose mission is to create more space for wilderness, wildlife, and natural processes on abandoned lands in Europe.

Where is it?

Currently, five areas have been selected for this project: Western Iberia (western Spain and northeastern Portugal), Eastern Carpathians (Slovakia and Poland), Danube Delta (Romania), Southern Carpathians (Romania), and Velebit (Croatia). Rewilding Europe will select another five regions to achieve its goal of rewilding one million hectares by 2020. It would be fantastic to have more marine or coastal areas added; we all know the ocean could use a push in the right direction.

What are the specifics?

Rewilding Europe wants to create complete and naturally functioning indigenous ecosystems by leaving large natural areas to manage themselves, but also by reintroducing keystone species (predators and herbivores) to restore balance.

Before you get all worked up, let me tell you that this rewilding project’s mission also includes a human presence in its guideline principles, for social and economic sustainability. Rewilding Europe allows people living in the selected areas to remain on their land and benefit from its regeneration, but it also wants to attract visitors to experience wilderness in Europe, just like visitors can experience wilderness in places like Yellowstone National Park. I’m all for it.

2. Wild Nephin

What is it?

Wild Nephin is a pioneer rewilding project in Western Europe. Ireland’s National Parks and Wildlife Service and Coillte (a forestry company) have dedicated 11,000 hectares of land to wilderness since March 2013.

Where is it?

The land selected is mostly peat lands, forests, and mountains in the Nephin Beg Range in County Mayo, in the northwest of Ireland, on the Atlantic coast. This area of Ireland is very sparsely populated — ideal for a wilderness project.

What are the specifics?

The land will undergo a 15-year restoration project, during which invasive plants and infrastructure will be removed, native plants planted, and certain species reintroduced; however, there’s no plan to reintroduce any large fauna to the area (no wolves in Ireland yet — not since the 18th century).

After the “restoration phase,” Wild Nephin will be left to thrive without any human intervention. Once again, the economic benefits of the rewilding project shouldn’t be glossed over — Wild Nephin plans to attract environmentally conscious tourists, like you and me.

3. Yellowstone to Yukon Conservation Initiative

What is it?

Y2Y is not a rewilding project per se, but its mission is very similar: to protect and connect the wild habitats and ecosystems of a vast area, so there will be no need for rewilding in 30 years. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

Where is it?

This project encompasses a very large zone (502,000 square miles) across five American states, two Canadian provinces, and two Canadian territories, stretching from Wyoming to the Yukon Territory.

What are the specifics?

The area within Yellowstone National Park (rewilded via the reintroduction of the wolf) is thought to be the last remaining intact mountain ecosystem. The Y2Y Conservation Initiative aims to preserve the wildlife, the natural processes, and the species native to the area, while protecting the people who live and depend on this land.

It starts at the top of the local food chain — just like George Monbiot, rewilding expert, would’ve prescribed — with the grizzly bear as an indicator of biodiversity and a keystone to success. Thanks to the trickle-down effect of this predator’s behaviours, protecting the bears first and foremost can ultimately stimulate a healthy, balanced ecosystem. The bears have been trying to do just that for 5 million years, so let’s take care of them so they can work their wonders.

4. The Elwha River Restoration

What is it?

The Elwha River Restoration project started in September 2011 with the demolition of two large dams. The river now flows freely for the first time in 100 years. In September 2014, the Glines Canyon Dam will be entirely removed.

Where is it?

Along the Elwha River on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, in the United States.

What are the specifics?

The removal of the two damn dams (let’s face it, they were screwing things up), which had been adversely affecting the ecosystem for 100 years, is now allowing fish to come back from the sea to spawn in the Elwha’s freshwater pools, providing a food source for predators (bears, eagles, etc.) and restoring a long-gone balance. Not only has the Elwha River Restoration allowed the mass restoration of an ecosystem, it’s also replenished the coastal area by freeing sediments trapped in the Lake Mills and Lake Aldwell reservoirs.

Last but not least, the demolition of the dams allowed the people of the Lower Elwha Klallam tribe access to ancient sites that’d been submerged for a century. Pretty impressive what can happen when humans step aside and let nature take its course.

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29 ways to be more creative

I KEEP MYSELF creative through repetition — I force myself to write every day until it becomes a natural habit. It’s not always easy however; I encounter creative “slumps” along the way. What I love about this video is that there are so many small, free, and easy things — like drinking coffee, or taking a break — that can help us be not only more creative, but more relaxed, friendlier, and happier overall. I’ll use this as a resource for the next time I hit writer’s block, or can’t seem to get motivated.

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Day in the life of street performers

Cities are full of people asking you for money — whether it’s salespeople, shopkeepers, restaurants, or beggars — but none are quite so enjoyable to give to as street performers.

I love street performers. They make the city way more interesting. Whether they’re doing a novelty act, or are just working musicians trying to make a buck on their off hours, street performers work for their money, and often in less-than-optimal conditions.

BUSK is a short documentary by filmmaker Ramon Nyitrai and Icarus, a nonfiction short film site, and it focuses on the day-to-day lives of five street performers as they try to make money in New York subway stations while avoiding bureaucratic cops and occasionally hostile audiences.

It’s an incredible look into a world we usually only catch a brief glimpse of as we walk by, and it’ll give you a whole new perspective on the life that street performers and buskers live.

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10 very useful Italian phrases

Photo: Any.colour.you.like

ITALIAN IS A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE. Because of the purity of its vowels, Italian is the first language in which opera singers learn to sing. It’s also an incredibly fun language to speak, full of expressive hand gestures and colorful phrases. Here are a few to get you started.

1. che casino! — what a mess!

kay kazeeno – /ke kazino/

Originally the word for brothel, casino is now used to describe any situation that’s a bit out of control, confusing, or crowded, meaning “what a madhouse!” I heard che casino even before I got to Italy on my last trip: Italians waiting on the security line at the airport were using it to express their frustration. Since many events in Italy are not overly organized, this phrase gets a real workout.

2. magari – I wish!

magaree – /mɑ:gɑ:ri:/

Magari is the word used to express hope. For example, I could have said to the Italians who were eager to board our delayed flight, “Don’t worry, you’ll make your connection.” They would have responded with, “Magari!”

3. che barba! – how boring!

kay barba – /kəbɑ:rbɑ:/

Literally, “what a beard,” che barba means “what a bore.” I’m not sure whether this comes from the idea that it takes a long time to grow a beard, or that whatever’s happening is as boring as watching a beard grow. In any case, if you see someone stroking an imaginary beard, she is making the che barba sign.

Example: Q. How was Italian class today? A. (Silent stroking of chin)

4. non c’entra – that’s irrelevant

non chentra – /non ʧɜ:ntrɑ:/

Entrarci is an extraordinarily useful verb, especially in the negative, when it means “that has nothing to do with it,” or, “this has nothing to do with you” (i.e., mind your own business). It’s also used in the interrogative: Che c’entra? Or che c’entri? (what’s it to you?) If you disagree with the sentiment you simply counter with c’entra! (does so!) or c’entro! (it certainly does concern me!).

Example: È troppo caro. (It’s too expensive.) Che c’entrano I soldi? Pago io! (Forget money. I’m paying!)

5. prendere in giro – to kid or tease

prenderay een jeero – /prɜ:nderei:nʤi:rɔ:/

Prendere in giro (to take in a circle) means to be joking. As in, c’entri, c’entri, ti prendo in giro — of course you have a say in this, I’m just pulling your leg.

6. me ne frega – who cares?

may nay frayga – /menefregɑ:/

Me ne frega is a slightly rude way of saying, “I couldn’t care less.” For example, as a response to “whatever happened to your ex?” me ne frega means, “I don’t know and I don’t care, and I hope I never see him again.”

7. in bocca al lupo – good luck

een bohkaloopoh – /i:nbɔ:kɑ:lu:pɔ:/

Literally, “in the mouth of the wolf,” in bocca al lupo is the Italian version of “break a leg.” The reply is crepi il lupo — “may the wolf die.” It’s used religiously in the theater and opera houses, but can also be said to someone about to take a test or engage in any challenging activity.

8. ogni morte di papa – hardly ever

ohnyee mortay di papa – /ɔ:ŋi:mɔ:rtedi:pɑ:pɑ:/

Literally, “every death of a pope,” ogni morte di papa is the equivalent of the English “once in a blue moon.” It seems so much more colorful to me because it conjures up visions of crowds mobbing St. Peter’s when a new pope is being chosen. How often do I go to Italy? Ogni morte di papa. Not nearly often enough.

9. ricevuto come un cane in chiesa – to be unwelcome

reechayvootoh kohmay oon kahnay een kyayza – /ri:ʧevu:tɔ:kɔ:meu:nkɑ:nei:nkjezɑ:/

Another colorful phrase is ricevuto come un cane in chiesa, which means, “received like a dog in church.” It’s similar to the English “like a whore in church,” but the alliteration in the k sounds of come, cane, and chiesa seem to give it more punch.

Example: What did your parents think of your Italian boyfriend arriving on his Vespa? L’hanno ricevuto come un cane in chiesa.

10. non vedo l’ora – I can’t wait

non vaydoh lohrah – /nɔ:nvedɔ:lɔ:rɑ:/

Literally, “I can’t see the hour,” this is the phrase you use for looking forward to something. As in, non vedo l’ora di tornare in Italia — “I can’t wait to go back to Italy.”

This post was originally published on January 13, 2012.

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How to pull a car out of a lake

No fancy diesel-powered winch or pulley system needed. Oh, no. Just a few Russian dudes, some thick-ass ice, and an ingenious…well, watch the video to find out.

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Australians have the longest sex, according to this map [infographic]

AND THEY SAY the French make the best lovers. Maybe that’s still true, but it doesn’t prevent Americans from living in one of the most sexually active countries in the world, trumped only by Australia as far as the average length of intercourse is concerned (although 4:02 minutes isn’t something to brag about…). This infographic, created by sex-tracking app Spreadsheets, compiled information collected from over 13,000 users in 133 countries, to see which places had the most sex, and for how long (only intercourse was taken into consideration; length of foreplay was not). Did your country make the top ten?

(H/T Nerve)

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Stirling: Castle of the Velvet Penis

It was raining when we arrived at Castle Rock, the ancient mound of gravel and dirt upon which Stirling Castle sits. I was over-napped, exhausted from staring out a rain-streaked window all day, and ready for some medieval action. I wanted high vaulted ceilings, locals in period costumes, and a rousing story of the stabbings, beheadings, battles, and film crews that have haunted this magnificent storybook palace for centuries.

My entire family stepped off the bus, umbrellas held high; I took my mother’s hand to help her down, beaming with pride at having brought her all the way from Alabama to Scotland, and she beamed right back, proud of her globetrotting son. Neither of us realized I was leading her into a medieval storybook castle full of porn.

Go to Wikipedia. Look up Stirling Castle. Dig that deep well of history, that long line of occupation all the way before the arrival of Rome. Groove on the knowledge that this is where William Wallace yelled “FREEEEEEDOM” and mooned a guy named Bruce. Really though, I don’t know anything about Stirling Castle, because I spent the entire trip trying to maneuver my mother out of range of our tour guide’s raging boner.

There should be a sign: WARNING: Your Tour Guide is VERY Happy to See You! As I led my wife, my mother, and my teen daughter into one of the main halls, a local actor dressed in full 14th-century getup greeted us: big muffin britches, a sword, pointy shoes — and a black velvet codpiece that could smuggle a haggis. It wasn’t even a codpiece. Codpieces are functional armor that protected medieval men from getting poked in the coin purse. They were the progenitors of little league cups and preteen embarrassment. Our guide was wearing porn. A black velvet penis valise with spangles?

I asked him what the hell was going on — and do they sell them in the gift shop — and he told us a story about King Something-or-other who developed a medical condition in his nethers requiring him to store said nethers in a pouch right out in the open. To make him comfortable, his guards adopted their own peen pouches and a fashion was born. The present guards wear their pointy pubes publicly to appear properly authentic.

He twirled on his heel, his penis cutting audibly through the air like a switch.

My mom has a degree in theology, and has been actively demure since the day she was born. She didn’t say the “S” word until she was in her late 50s. She’s a bit conservative, and as I thrust her into a small forest of leather dong purses, I was horrified. Instead of flying my Southern Christian Reverend Mom halfway across the world to see history, I’d brought her to Scotland to browse marital aids.

Fortunately, the Stirling Castle reconstruction committee had recently restored the ceilings to their hideous gaudy horror, which my mother found fascinating as we passed through the hall of John Thomases with her gazing upwards.

Look, I know it’s a matter of authenticity, and I appreciate Stirling Castle for adhering so flamboyantly to common penis adornment, circa 1496; but come on, man, I’m an American. I’m permanently 14. You can’t just throw me into a castle full of velour-covered boner bags and expect me to keep a straight face.

Five minutes into the tour, my daughter and I were barely capable of walking upright, aching from withheld laughter and sneeze giggling.

I had to ask questions. I availed myself of a man with a bright blue sparkly shaft sack, currently pointed northward. I nodded at the south wall.

“What about that?” I asked. He twirled on his heel, his penis cutting audibly through the air like a switch.

“Wait, I’d like to hear more about that,” my daughter said, pointing to a tapestry on the north wall. Our guide and his tool re-twirled, his penis arcing through the room.

“He’s finished there. Back to the south wall, please, I’m very interested.”

We had him going like a pornographic metronome until my wife, ever polite, ever classy, whispered in my ear that if I didn’t want to wear a metaphorical penis pouch until the day I die, I’d better stop causing our guide to wave his around like he was conducting Bizet.

I think Stirling Castle is missing a grand opportunity to capitalize on what must surely be their most protuberant feature. They should rename the whole tour: Game of Bones. They should have pictographic signs. And why no souvenirs in the gift shop? For those who can’t afford a life-sized penis pouch — or find them threatening — they could offer smaller velvet penis pouches as key fobs and tie clips.

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Getting green energy via balloons

Last week, reports came out that the Carteret Islanders of Papua New Guinea, the world’s first official climate-change refugees, had left their island home for good. The island is expected to be totally underwater by 2015.

This milestone was yet another reminder that we desperately need to switch over to greener, renewable energy sources. One of the most popular energy sources, wind energy, is often derided because a) it’s ugly, b) it can cause serious harm to local birds who fly into the turbine blades and get hurt or killed, and c) wind doesn’t blow all the time, so it’s unreliable. These are all fair points (though it’s beyond me how a windmill is uglier than a power plant), but Altaeros Energies may have the answer: BATs.

Buoyant Airborne Turbines, to be exact. They’re basically large balloons with wind turbines in them. They’re inflated and can be deployed to high altitudes, where wind is much more dependable, where they’re for the most part out of eyesight, and where they’re much less likely to cause damage to local birds and wildlife. They produce twice as much energy as regular wind turbines, and they also have the added benefit of being portable, which means they can harness wind energy in remote areas, or can be quickly moved to disaster-stricken areas that are going through power outages.

The first BAT is set to be launched in Alaska, and obviously there’ll be kinks to work out, but it’s definitely an exciting development for green energy.

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9 worst types of Argentine men

Photo: rei-san

The Soccer Fan / El Futbolero

This is the guy who yells “¡Dale Boca, dale campeón!” every time he has an orgasm. For him there is no life without fútbol. His football club is tattooed somewhere on his body. And he may not remember your name, but he doesn’t forget what your team was. The most important detail: If his team loses, he falls into a deep depression that can last for several weeks.

The Chanta

The Chanta is the worst of the worst: He’s a liar, a trickster, a cheater, and yet charming and friendly. Any violation of the law or bending of regulations is justified as “una avivada” (he’s just taking a little advantage, you know?) because for him, nothing is really serious. He will do everything he can do to minimize his efforts and get the maximum benefit of the situation — even if that includes dicking other people over. For the Chanta, todo vale!

The Know-It-All / El Sabelotodo

This is the guy who takes arrogance to its most ridiculous level. He is a specialist in ALL topics: food, politics, soccer, business, economics, medicine, plumbing, fitness, public transportation routes. He has a brilliant, intelligent, insanely self-confident answer for EVERY question. And everyone else? They’re just a bunch of boludos.

The Macho

This is the dude whose main concern is to make it clear that he’s not gay. That’s why he overacts in every situation to show others he is a true macho argentino, ceaselessly talking (to anyone who will listen) about the details of his sexual encounters / performances.

The Winner / El Ganador

No woman is capable of resisting the charms of the “langa” (“galán” inverting the order of the syllable). He is a conquistador, a disciple of Giacomo Casanova. His motto is “all is fair in love and war,” and he’ll use whatever tricks he needs to catch his prey. He notes all of his catches by their physical descriptions. Beautiful brunette, lawyer with big breats, kind-of-cute blonde. He doesn’t remember their names, but he doesn’t forget their bodies.

More like this: 15 differences between a normal friend and an Argentinean friend


The Trotskyite / El Pibe Trosko

His job is to be an eternal student. It’s been long since he reached his third decade, but he is still taking the same college classes he started to take when he was 18. He wears Che Guevara t-shirts and old, worn-out denim jackets. He is an active member of a Trotskyist political group and his days are spent painting the walls of the public university with slogans against capitalism, the IMF, international corporations, oil companies, malls, the university director, and everything he considers necessary to be against, which is…pretty much everything.

The Eco Sensitive / El Ecosensible

Mostly seen in Buenos Aires, he is a sensitive soul, an authentic nature lover, who spends his days in the middle of a noisy and dirty city, smoking marijuana, and practicing his juggling /circus routines. If he needs money, he finds a busy intersection and starts busking.

The Car Lover / El Amante de su Auto

His vehicle is an extension of his own body. He cleans it, he polishes it, he sprays perfume in it, and he takes better care of it than himself or his own family. On Sundays, he takes his car for a paseo, driving it slowly around boulevards and coastal roads.

The Storyteller / El Cuenta-Historias

It’s unknown if he has many friends or not, but everything he tells you “has happened to a friend” or “to a friend of a friend.” The friend of a friend who ran away with the wife of his brother. A friend won the lottery and lost it all in the casino. A friend who went to an Aerosmith show and got to dance onstage. The stories always have flawed logic and details, but this guy knows how to tell them in a way that’s impossible to disprove.

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