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Mapped: Your life in weeks

This is a long human life in years:

And here’s a human life in months:

But today, we’re going to look at a human life in weeks:

Each row of weeks makes up one year. That’s how many weeks it takes to turn a newborn into a 90-year-old. It kind of feels like our lives are made up of a countless number of weeks. But there they are — fully countable — staring you in the face.

Before we discuss things further, let’s look at how a typical American spends their weeks:

Sources

[1]http://www.gallup.com/poll/168707/average-retirement-age-rises.aspx

[2]http://www.babycenter.com/0_surprising-facts-about-birth-in-the-united-states_1372273.bc

[3]http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/12/14/barely-half-of-u-s-adults-are-married-a-record-low/

[4]http://www.census.gov/prod/2011pubs/p70-125.pdf

[5]http://www.forbes.com/sites/jeannemeister/2012/08/14/job-hopping-is-the-new-normal-for-millennials-three-ways-to-prevent-a-human-resource-nightmare/

There are some other interesting ways to use the weeks chart:

But how about your weeks?

Sometimes life seems really short, and other times it seems impossibly long. But this chart helps to emphasize that it’s most certainly finite. Those are your weeks, and they’re all you’ve got.

Given that fact, the only appropriate word to describe your weeks is precious. There are trillions upon trillions of weeks in eternity, and those are your tiny handful. Going with the “precious” theme, let’s imagine that each of your weeks is a small gem, like a 2mm, .05 carat diamond. Here’s one:

If you multiply the volume of a .05 carat diamond by the number of weeks in 90 years (4,680), it adds up to just under a tablespoon.

Looking at this spoon of diamonds, there’s one very clear question to ask: “Are you making the most of your weeks?”

In thinking about my own weeks and how I tend to use them, I decided that there are two good ways to use a diamond:

1) Enjoying the diamond

2) Building something to make your future diamonds or the diamonds of others more enjoyable

In other words, you have this small spoonful of diamonds, and you really want to create a life in which they’re making you happy. And if a diamond is not making you happy, it should only be because you’re using it to make other diamonds go down better — either your own in the future or those of others. In the ideal situation, you’re well balanced between #1 and #2, and you’re often able to accomplish both simultaneously (like those times when you love your job).

Of course, if a diamond is enjoyable but by enjoying it you’re screwing your future diamonds (an Instant Gratification Monkey specialty), that’s not so good. Likewise, if you’re using diamond after diamond to build something for your future, but it’s not making you happy and seems like a long-term thing with no end in sight, that’s not great either.

But the worst possible way to use a diamond is by accomplishing neither #1 nor #2 above. Sometimes “neither” happens when you’re in either the wrong career or the wrong relationship, and it’s often a symptom of either a shortage of courage, self-discipline, or creativity. Sometimes “neither” happens because of a debilitating problem.

We’ve all had Neither Weeks, and they don’t feel good. And when a long string of Neither Weeks happens, you become depressed, frustrated, hopeless, and a bunch of other upsetting adjectives. It’s inevitable to have Neither Weeks, and sometimes they’re important — it’s often a really bad Neither Week that leads you to a life-changing epiphany — but trying to minimize your Neither Weeks is a worthy goal.

It can all be summed up like this:

This post was originally published at Wait but Why and is reprinted here with permission. Visit their site to check out the “Life Calendars” they’ve created — a smaller 12″ x 18″ version and a larger 24″ x 36″ poster — which depict your life in weeks and are available for purchase for $15.

Wait But Why posts every Tuesday. To receive Wait But Why posts via email, click here. 

Or you can visit their homepage, pop into Facebook, or connect via Twitter.

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9 epic concert venues in California

1. Empire Polo Club (Indio)

Photo: Carl Nenzén Lovén

You’d be forgiven if you couldn’t find the obscure Inland Empire city of Indio on a map. But 21 years ago, Pearl Jam used its Empire Polo Club to give a geographic middle finger to Ticketmaster, and in one fell swoop, they proved an open field in a town in the middle of the desert could turn into the single most epic concert venue in California. In the United States. Hell, maybe the world.

Now the Empire Polo Club plays host to the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival every year. The monster crowds have to fight and claw each other for tickets — and once you’ve been, you know why they do it. The sun setting behind dusty red mountains while palm trees shade grass so green you don’t even want to see the other side. Stifling noon heat giving way to a pleasantly warm, star-studded night sky. Lights and art that dazzle the mind back to a preschool state.

The quality of the shows is only half the magic potion — it’s the epic setting of the EPC that elevates Coachella to the prestige it enjoys today.

Photo: David Lytle

2. Golden Gate Park (San Francisco)

The SF-LA rivalry is real — it’s a scientific fact. So if Los Angeles gets to have a festival like Coachella just two short hours outside its borders, you can bet San Francisco is gonna put one on right in the center of their city.

Golden Gate Park doesn’t have the heat or desert charm of the Empire Polo Club, but as a festival venue you can be sure it’s just as magical. The Bay Area’s foggy mystique and colder weather makes for an entirely unique atmosphere, with music reverberating through the tall trees of the park like the haunted echoes of the city’s long musical history.

The primary festival here is Outside Lands, which takes place in August vs. Coachella’s April. Many people go to both — and when people get a sampling of different tastes, they inevitably compare. Sandstorm vs. rainstorm. Heat vs. fog.

Everybody has a preference, but they’ll thank whatever god they worship they have their pick of both in California.

3. The Hollywood Bowl (Hollywood)

Photo: Eric Chan

Classical music hasn’t been considered “cool” in a long, long time. Doesn’t help when the prevailing image of your audience includes coattails and monocles. But there’s a little bubble in Los Angeles that steamrolls that stereotype, and at the center of it is the Hollywood Bowl. Set into a natural chaparral amphitheater with the world famous Hollywood sign looking down like a guardian angel, the Bowl plays host to the LA Philharmonic (one of the most prestigious orchestras in the world). Since it’s outside, they can go as big as they want: fireworks, soaring visuals and light shows, up to and including real freakin’ canons during the traditional grand finale of Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture.”

With picnic areas and a very loose BYO atmosphere, having a nice bottle of wine and seeing a concert is one of the most highly recommended Friday evenings in the city. Imagine: lying in the grass, a few twinkling stars breaking through the shine of city lights, drinking a glass of Pinot while violins drift out of the giant shell in the canyon. With that allure, there’s gonna be more than the Phil getting booked — every big act from the Beatles to Blink-182 has played epic shows at the Bowl.

4. Hollywood Forever Cemetery (Los Angeles)

Photo: Rachel

You probably don’t immediately think of a graveyard as being an appropriate setting for a concert, but that’s the whole charm of Hollywood Forever Cemetery. The 62-acre green field is dotted with the mausoleums and memorials of some of Hollywood’s Golden Age stars, and sitting smack in the middle is the Fairbanks Lawn — the perfect place to drop a blanket and listen to music on a warm summer night.

The idea of being in a cemetery seeps into every show played. Like Sigur Rós’ fog-draped Icelandic cooing, or the Flaming Lips’ two-night gig entitled “Everyone you know someday will die.” This isn’t your standard show hall. This is the past pressing on the present to create an ambiance unmatched by any other show except the one playing the cemetery next.

5. The Troubadour (West Hollywood)

Photo: Joseph Voves

In 1974, John Lennon was kicked out of a club for heckling the band on stage. Now, normally that would be an honor for everybody involved (hell, especially the band). But here, it hardly registered as an event, because that club was the Troubadour, where even the brightest stars are brought down to Earth. Many of the venues that make this list do so for the grand aspirations they represent — be it in size or strangeness. The Troub does the opposite. It shrinks the spirit of music that’s already elevated to stadium status back down to a room that couldn’t fit 400 people if they slapped on some surfwax and made a dog pile.

Despite the small crowd capacity, the Troubadour has been an important landmark in the career of everybody from Elton John to Bruce Springsteen to freaking Cheech & Chong. Guns n’ Roses were discovered here. Radiohead hit America through its doors. At this point, any band that plays it is living up to a long legacy of stars, and they have to bring their A-game. The small crowd feeds on this energy, leading to some of the most intimate shows a music lover can attend. It’s a special experience for everybody involved, and that only gives the venue more renown with every performance.

6. The Hearst Greek Theatre (Berkeley)

Photo: Christopher Bowns

You want epic? That word has been so diluted. That breakfast burrito you made with your leftovers isn’t “epic,” dude. You want real OG Epic? Go to the guys who coined the term. Go to the Greeks. William Randolph Hearst did back in the 1900s, when he put this theater in a natural amphitheater near UC Berkeley. It’s based on the ancient Greek theater of Epidaurus, one of the original concert halls where the acoustics are so perfectly balanced you can hear an unamplified match being struck center stage from way out in the nosebleeds.

Not that there are nosebleeds — the theater only seats just over 8,000 people, keeping it intimate — more appropriate for small city-state Greek dramas than modern-world city productions. Even still, UC Berkeley owns the theater and throws its influence around, swinging bookings from big-name concerts to addresses by the President and the Dalai Lama. Rocking out like the ancient Greeks — now that’s epic.

Photo: Tony Fischer

7. The Fillmore (San Francisco)

All of the venues on this list make it for a specific reason: Size. Oddities. Location and age. The Fillmore has all of those things, yeah, but it’s also the only venue that can claim to be the epicenter of one of the most important youth movements in history. You wouldn’t realize it just by looking at the big squarish facades. Maybe that’s the point. Once you get in close, you start to see the Wes Wilson posters adorning the walls, their psychedelic block letters nearly indecipherable from afar. The barrel of apples for any concert-goer’s taste. The friendly man saying, “Welcome to the Fillmore!” It reeks of ‘60s traditions in the best of ways.

The Fillmore was the home of the psychedelic and hippie movements in San Francisco back in the ‘60s and ‘70s, playing host to Jimi Hendrix, Jefferson Airplane, Santana, and every other important act of that era. The Grateful Dead played it over 50 times in four years, and you can assume there’s at least one dedicated Dead Head who went to every show. Bill Graham, the guy who made the place what it is, basically shaped the San Francisco scene according to his musical tastes, and it shows in his building. Inside, any semblance of Squarishness is cast aside in favor of a psychedelic light projection system conceived and designed by Andy Warhol and Danny Williams. The crowd is encouraged to dance as wildly as possible, a holdover from the free days of the Summer of Love. It’s the ultimate experience for anybody who’s ever thought they were born in the wrong generation.

Photo: Joe Wolf

8. Balboa Theatre (San Diego)

The best live music experiences blend the visual with the auditory. Sensory overload. It’s part of why EDM is so popular nowadays — their live shows are roughly 50% strobe lights, which hypnotize the crowd into having fun. And they need it. Most of the stages DJs play on are either contained in skeezy clubs or mobile metal monstrosities.

But when a band plays at a venue like the Balboa Theatre, they can tone it down a bit. The Balboa will do the visual work for them.

The Balboa began as a movie theater back in the ‘20s, and played into the old stereotypes of the grand silver screen, the Hollywood glamor of red carpets and soaring architecture. The stage covered by giant red velvet drapes. As recently as 2008, it reopened as a live performance venue, but it kept in touch with its roots. The restoration just means it perfectly blends that Roaring ‘20s class with modern sensibilities and taste.

Acts that play the Balboa reflect that class, presenting more low-key music than at some of the rockier venues around. John Legend played a touching show recently, his “All of Me” crooner hitting all the right notes for the room. Guys, this is the kind of show where you shower, shave, put on your nicest shirt, and take your lady for a night on the town.

9. The Casbah (San Diego)

Photo: Jason Scragz

Some people would say the clothes don’t make the man. You could douse a venue in money, dress it up like the most legendary concert halls of old, but you couldn’t buy the magic that makes a stage truly epic. The magic comes of its own volition. And like any beautiful thing, it’s rarely attracted to those who beg for it. The Casbah is a standing testimony to that — a grimy nightclub in San Diego, the kind whose mere existence seems like it should be shut down by the fire marshal. It doesn’t try to be pretty, and that’s why the magic found its way to the Casbah stage as soon as it opened its doors, instantly becoming one of the premier rock spots in America.

In its 30-year history, it’s hosted the greats of each generation: Nirvana. Blink-182. The Smashing Pumpkins. Each of them have performed on the beer-soaked stage to a crowd that head-banged and danced and screamed their lungs out without regard to what the room looks like. Attracting an audience like that — that’s the sign of a truly epic music venue. Making it about the music. And with so many epic show halls in California, it makes you wonder. Maybe that’s just the California way.

* * *

Our friends at Visit California asked Matador how we #dreambig in California. This post is part of a series we’re publishing to answer that question. Click here for more.

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Climber's escape from crevasse [vid]

Whether it’s paddling, climbing, skiing, or whatever, pretty much the first thing you learn before embarking into the backcountry is to always take a buddy. Always. It’s no different than kindergarten, really. Call it the Backcountry Golden Rule. And eschew it at your peril. While there are certainly those special someones (ahem, Dean Potter) who excel alone in challenging wilderness settings, history is stacked with the bodies of backcountry travelers who have ignored the buddy system.

The Backcountry Golden Rule is especially important when moving over glaciers. Glaciers are basically frozen rivers that conceal fissures known as crevasses. Crevasses can be narrow and shallow or damn-near bottomless and wide enough to swallow a bus, and every size in between. And the truly diabolical thing about crevasses is that they are very often hidden by a weak surface layer of seasonal snow and ice, which means you won’t know you’re on top of one until it’s too late. Crevasse country should only be traversed by experienced groups traveling as a “rope team” so that if one climber punches through into a crevasse, the group can self-arrest by anchoring themselves into the ice and snow to prevent the individual from going too far into the icy abyss. Even in the best of circumstances, it can then take several full-grown adults many hours to effect rescue.

But what happens when you’re solo and fall into a crevasse? If you’ve got a camera, a YouTube account, and inexplicably live to share the tale, it goes a little something like this:

It’s truly remarkable that he’s alive. It speaks volumes to his immense skill with an ice axe, unwavering perseverance, and crazy good luck that he was able to successfully self-rescue. But more than anything, this video series speaks to the importance of the Backcountry Golden Rule: Always, always bring a buddy…or ten.

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On surviving a shark attack

This is a shot I have envisioned in my head for a while, and only possible to shoot today with the invention of the GoPro. Shot at a beach break near my home. The board broke on this wave, but the vision made it worthwhile. Shot with the GoPro Hero 3+ and a Gripstick Pro Mount. Photo: Mike Coots

Shot from a helicopter mid-afternoon at Pipe. Shooting from a heli is a bit tough as the pilot can’t hover and wait for sets. Large loops from Waimea to Sunset are needed to not piss off the homeowners in the area. Always gotta keep moving. Communication is key with the pilot. If you are out of rhythm with your loops, you could very easily miss all the sets. Though Pipeline is the most photographed wave in the world, shooting from the sky can give it a different look and feel. 1/800@f8 ISO 125. Shot with a 70–200mm on the long end. Photo: Mike Coots

Top turn shot with the Hero 3+. This Merrick is a magic board given to me by Bethany Hamilton. GoPro made me this neat surf handle that works well. A bit awkward to paddle with it in your mouth though as it feels like I am getting waterboarded. Photo: Mike Coots

EXPERIENCING THE KIND OF LOSS that Mike Coots has might keep anyone else sidelined for life, riding the proverbial pine. Rather than wallow in self-pity, Mike turned every surfer’s nightmare into a life-changing personal gain. In fact, since having his right leg taken off by a tiger shark at his home break on Kauai, he flipped the situation 180 degrees. Instead of fearing, resenting, and avoiding sharks, Coots lobbies for their conservation, dives with them, and continues to surf the same spot he was attacked at the tender age of 18. Additionally, he helps lifelong friend and ‘sister’ Bethany Hamilton with her foundation and provides counsel to amputees and victims of shark attacks. He also picked up surfing after his leg was removed and now tows into huge waves while wearing a prosthetic.

To say that Mike made the best of a bad situation is an understatement at the very least. He considers the accident a blessing and is ready to do whatever he can to protect the animals that nearly took his life. I spoke with him earlier this year.

* * *

RL: Can you recount the shark attack?

MC: I was on this bodyboarding team and right after high school we were all together. I was 18 at the time and it was early October. We went surfing on the west side of Kauai. There’s a military base out there and a pretty good surf spot we all went to.

I remember we all got to the beach. It was early in the morning and we all paddled out. I was on my bodyboard and it was about four feet or so. A nice set came through and all my friends caught waves. I think it was a five-wave set. Soon enough, it was myself and another guy out there. When the last wave came in, I remember looking at him and we looked at each other wondering who’s going to catch the wave, and I got on my board and started paddling, and as soon as I made a motion the shark came up and grabbed onto me. I didn’t see it coming from far away or anything, and it wasn’t a scary fin coming towards me. It was a blind-sided attack. Kinda like a submarine but vertical. It latched onto my leg and it started shaking me back and forth — I guess kinda like a pit bull would do with a doll.

During the back-and-forth motion, I remember feeling a lot of pressure on my legs, like a big guy was sitting on me. I didn’t feel any pain or anything. After it swung me back and forth a couple times, I, with my left hand, punched it in its nose pretty hard. It let go of me instantly and went back underwater. I got back on my board and I looked at my index finger and it was all bloody and I could see the bone and stuff sticking out. It looked like a split-open potato. I was kinda freaked out. I was like, “Oh boy, I’m hurt.” After I looked at my finger, I looked up at the guy that I’d been jockeying with the wave for, and his face had gone completely white. I yelled, “Shark! Go in!” and he started paddling in and I paddled in behind him.

As I was paddling, my right leg started doing this shaking, like a total spasm. I distinctly remember thinking, “This is it. The shark’s getting me again and I’m toast.” I looked over my shoulder, and I didn’t see the shark, but I saw my leg just severed off completely. I had no idea I was even hurt, but my leg was just gone. You couldn’t have done a better amputation with a scalpel. It was just perfectly cut off. I remember seeing blood shoot out the middle every time my heart beat.

At that point, another wave came and I caught it and rode it right up to the sand and I tried standing up on the beach. Y’know, you’re used to standing on two feet your whole life and I remember falling over in the sand with blood everywhere. My friend Kyle saw this and ran up to me, dragged me up a little higher, took my leash off my boogie board and made a tourniquet instantly and he just started saying a prayer. I closed my eyes and I just remember praying with him and as soon as he finished the prayer, I opened my eyes and there was this pick-up truck right there. This guy Keith had seen it from far away. He had seen me in the sand and he threw me in the bed of the pick-up truck and we took off to the ER.

I remember going in and out of shock, real hot and cold, going in and out of consciousness. As soon as we got to the ER, these surgeons started running up to the truck and my body gave out. I woke up the next day and I was at our main hospital, post-surgery and everything. My family and friends were all there.

After that, I spent about a month out of the water because of the stitches and staples. I guess there’s a high risk of infections, so I had to wait until all that healed up and then I was back in the water just over a month later.

What went through your head as the shark was shaking you back and forth?

It wasn’t an out-of-body experience or anything. I was looking right at the shark. Your whole life in the ocean, you’re basically preparing yourself for that moment. I knew it was a shark attacking me. The punching (the shark in the nose) was totally instinct, that fight-or-flight instinct.

In Hawaii, we have centipedes. When you see one, you kind of get chicken skin. I remember having that exact feeling. The get-away-from-me feeling where you feel that creepy sensation. I knew I just had to get away from the situation. Whatever I had to do — punch, kick, whatever. And it worked. As soon as I hit the shark, it released its grip on me and left me alone.

Do you remember being taken to the hospital?

Yeah, actually we had the tailgate down and we were moving so fast that nobody thought to jump back there with me. I was lying by myself and the guy had his quiver of surfboards back there next to me, and I remember them being held in cloth board bag material. I was playing with the cloth to keep my mind off the injury, not trying to look down at my leg.

I was also looking out the back of the tailgate and we were moving really fast, passing cars and everything. At one point, we pass a girl and her mom and the tailgate is down and I’m missing my limb, blood everywhere, the whole tailgate covered in it. I remember looking at the mom and looking at the daughter and they pulled over, off the road, looking very disturbed. I remember thinking, “This isn’t good.” Y’know how you can kinda judge your injury on the expression of others? It was one of those things where I knew it wasn’t too good by looking at people’s reactions to seeing me.

I enjoy spending the summer fishing from my Jet Ski. I mounted a Gripstick Pro mount on the sled hooked up to the GoPro Hero 3+. I am heading back to the harbor near my house after a wonderful afternoon sojourn. Photo: Mike Coots

Not sure who this is, but it was shot in the evening at OTW. 1/2000@f5.6 ISO 400. 500mm lens. Photo: Mike Coots

In the five weeks of recovery, what happened? Was that when you got into photography?

Totally. I was on the surf team and we did little video projects here and there, and my coach had some still cameras. What happened was I started using his cameras and I’d start by shooting my friends Kamalei Alexander and Evan Valiere and those guys.

What really got me stoked on it was this guy John Russell who came to shoot me for a magazine right after the attack. He came back to Kauai a few months later to do a Sports Illustrated shoot, and he knew nobody on the island except for myself. He wanted to know if I wanted to assist him for the shoot, and I was like, “Sure, why not?” Being on the shoot with him and watching him work made me believe it was a really great profession. I thought I’d like to do this as a living. It happened to be the same time that I was trying to figure out what I was going to do now that my bodyboarding career was over with.

I loved the shoot with John and I talked to my mom who looked on the internet to see if there were any colleges that specialized in photography. We came across Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara and I applied and got accepted. Overnight, it seemed, I was in college learning photography.

Halfway through the program, we had a marketing class and the teacher’s like, “Here’s promo pieces from photographers around the country,” and she hands me a promo piece from this photographer and it was John Russell’s. At that moment, everything came full circle. As soon as class got out, I called him and I told him I was in college because of him and he said, “Actually, I’m in Santa Barbara right now. Let’s grab some lunch.” From there, he started getting me assisting with bigger jobs for bigger clients. Everything really snowballed from there. It’s been an amazing experience.

Tell me about your involvement with shark conservation.

A few years back, I got a call from the PEW Environment Group. They asked if I knew about shark finning. I had no idea what that was or any of the facts and issues surrounding it. I learned through watching the movie Shark Water that there are roughly 70 million sharks per year killed for their fins and they called me back about it. They started sending me more information and put me in touch with scientists who explained the science behind it.

The more I learned, it was a no-brainer that I’m in a valuable position as a shark-attack victim to speak out for the sharks. I believe they’re in the ocean for a reason — they’ve survived ice ages, extinction, all that. They’re the glue that holds the marine diversity together, some scientists will say, though they’re being killed at an alarming rate and many are on the verge of extinction.

The Great White Shark is an endangered species and Colin Barnett is breaking 21 different laws — international policies and laws in Australia. I don’t think putting a bullet in their head is teaching the right lesson to the world. Instead of that, maybe tag it and learn more about it? Learn how to coexist with it. I just think it’s a total knee-jerk reaction and it’s the wrong way to go.

Bruce, backside no grab over a very shallow reef. That’s his specialty. 1/1250@f8 ISO 200. Shot with the a 10–22mm lens. Photo: Mike Coots

How did you go about getting back in the water post shark attack? Was there a mental hurdle to overcome or was the transition seamless?

It wasn’t difficult. I’d say it really has to do with growing up in the water in Hawaii. If I was born landlocked and I put my toe in the water and a shark jumped out and attacked me, and that was my only interaction ever with the ocean, it’d be a totally different thing. But because I spent so much time diving as a kid and snorkeling and surfing and boogie boarding, it just goes with the territory. If the water’s salty, that’s the shark’s home. The hardest part of the whole ordeal was being out of the water. It wasn’t sharks or anything like that. It was not being able to surf in the winter season.

Was there any post-traumatic stress?

No. I’ve been fortunate. I never had one nightmare. No twitching, nothing like that. No keyword that someone says and I start having flashbacks. It’s basically had zero psychological effect on me at all. There have, however, been a couple times surfing, post-attack, when I’ve had a couple scares around big boils of water. Not flashbacks but it does get the blood going.

Recently, I’ve gone diving with sharks and it’s pretty cool underwater interacting with them. It’s a much different thing. Also, the chance of someone getting bitten twice by a shark — I mean, those odds are absolutely astronomical. If I was, maybe I’d be able to write a really good book or something. I’m not too worried about it.

No ghost or phantom pains?

There were some phantom pains, but that’s all physical. No psychological stuff. It went away after a little while.

Is that alleviated after you get the prosthetic and become accustomed to using it?

No, it’s alleviated over time. Y’know, maybe it is a mental thing. Some scientists or doctors have figured out a way for war victims, after they get their leg blown off and they’re laying in the hospital bed, they put a mirror where their leg should be, which tricks the body into thinking the leg is still there by seeing the reflection. It’s helped a lot with that phantom pain. It happens to everyone who loses a limb, the phantom pain.

Bethany Hamilton shot at sunrise in Hanalei Bay. My inspiration right there! 1/125@f5.6 ISO 250. 35mm lens. Photo: Mike Coots

You and Bethany Hamilton are both shark-attack survivors from Kauai who lost limbs. Any special bonds between you guys? How does that manifest itself?

Absolutely. Without a doubt. There’s a definite connection. She’s like my sister. We have this kind of unspoken bond that we’re in this club together that nobody else is a part of. It’s obvious whenever we’re surfing or hanging. And other people pick up on it. It’s like, “Whoa there’s two shark-attack victims side by side. One’s missing an arm, the other’s missing a leg.” However, I’ve known her long before the attack too, and we’re close family friends. When she came to in the hospital right out of surgery, she opened her eyes and I was right there. The first person to see her as she came out of surgery. So we have that special moment too.

How was the return to being active in the water with a prosthetic?

I was a bodyboarder until after the attack. It wasn’t until I went to Santa Barbara for college, where the waves aren’t good for bodyboarding at all, that I picked up surfing.

One day, I took a long surfboard out at Leadbetter Beach and I remember walking to the water’s edge. I started to walk into the water to test if this thing [prosthetic] was going to fall apart. I got up to my knees in the water and it was holding on. A little further in the water and I was able to get onto the board and paddle. It felt like uncharted waters because they tell you not to take it in the water, that it’s going to break and insurance won’t cover it if anything happens. You’re really told not to do what I do with it. So I got out there and I tried to stand up and it was one of those ‘let’s take it one step at a time’ things. Literally. And the thing wasn’t falling apart. It wasn’t disintegrating before my eyes and I came in and I washed it out and it was fine.

The next prosthetic I got made for me, I had them build in a ridge on the socket so that the leash wouldn’t slide down all the way to the ankle and want to pull. I realized that if I could have the leash stay higher up, almost like how longboarders do it, there’s less pulling. From there, I figured out how to make a surf strap to really hold on in bigger surf and what ankles work the best. I always thought it would be better to have a real flexible ankle because I’d be able to get really low and barrel ride. If it wasn’t flexible, I’d bend down and be tip-toeing, if that makes sense. Unfortunately, with the really flexible ankle, I had no drive on the bottom turn, so I learned the fine line between flex and not. A piece of rubber and metal, unfortunately, doesn’t know when to flex and not flex, so I learned what the best stiffness is. I also learned all about the angle both in and out that the foot plays in my positioning on the board. My prosthetic foot sits out to the right a little more so I’m able to compensate.

The prosthetic and leash have a love/hate relationship. I use a leash so that if my prosthetic gets ripped off, it will stay attached to my board to be easy to retrieve. It also wants to tangle around the aluminum ankle I am wearing many times a surf session. I have gotten very adept at using my good toes to untangle the tangle right before taking off. Shot with the Hero3+ GoPro using a Gripstick Pro Mount. Photo: Mike Coots

Tow surfing really seems to help figure this out because you can really feel the mechanics of the board, whereas sometimes if you’re surfing a beach break, everything’s happening so fast that you don’t really have time to analyze things. If you’re behind a ski, you can get a feel for the sweet spot.

So the prosthetic is easier to manage when you’re tow surfing?

Yeah, but in ways it’s all kind of the same. It’s just trying to be on the sweet spot where you get the most response. With my prosthetic, I can step on a penny in the road and feel that penny under my foot. So I can actually feel the deck pad with my fake leg and know where I am on the pad without looking at it so I can shift around that way. Your brain, after a while, starts to be able to figure it out.

You seem to have conquered the concept of fear. How did you manage that?

It all comes back to growing up on this rugged island. Y’know, growing up here with Andy [Irons] and those guys, you see the craziest things go down. You learn that life isn’t meant to be played safe. That’s our upbringing. The more radical and the more you feel alive, the better life is. You can sit at home on the couch all you want, but are you really living life?

What’s next for Mike Coots in photography, surfing, and conservation?

Bethany and I have a foundation (Friends of Bethany) where we help a lot of disabled kids and amputees. I’d really like to start working with 3D printers. I know they’re starting to print carbon fiber and make prosthetic parts for people who need them. For example, a bolt that breaks in your prosthetic would cost hundreds of dollars but literally pennies to make. The American medical system is so corrupt and broken that a lot of people can’t afford things that they should be able to have. If you’re able to print that part out for very cheap, it’d be awesome to have these printers around the country and help out people in need. That’s a big goal of mine.

Shark conservation stuff too with all the attacks we’ve had in Maui. I really hope there aren’t any more fatalities because I have a feeling our Hawaii state government might start doing a similar type of culling program because we’re so heavy on tourism. If that were to happen, I’d obviously want to be the first one to stop all that stuff.

The photography thing is wonderful to be able to document and shoot, but it’s not an end-all. It pays the bills and it’s really enjoyable, but I really find my passion in helping kids like this morning with Bethany. That’s really what I hope the future brings.

All images courtesy of Mike Coots. This post originally appeared at The Inertia and is republished here with permission.

This is one of those times where you have to anticipate the moment. Although I was working for Quiksilver as a staff photographer, it takes a bit of instinct to know when he will show up to surf. I had a Quiky grom hold my strobe off camera and got this moment near the water’s edge at Pipe. There are about 40 people surrounding him, but with the magic of composition, you can remove those unneeded elements. Profoto 7B at full power, 1/200@f16 ISO 100. 70–200mm lens. Photo: Mike Coots

Pipeline in all her glory. Shot with a 70–200 on the wide end. 1/1250@f11 ISO 200. Photo: Mike Coots

The post On surviving a shark attack and coming back stronger than ever appeared first on Matador Network.

Bill Murray on life, love, & travel

I WAS IN Charleston, South Carolina over Memorial Day weekend, hoping to see the elusive form of Charlestonian-by-association Bill Murray, at some point during my stay. The closest I got was an airbrushed mural on the wall of The Sparrow, in Park Circle, but one seriously lucky group of dudes got an epic speech about life, love, and travel, during their bachelor party shenanigans.

Everyone knows how much of a weirdo Mr. Murray is, and his words and actions can be somewhat unpredictable, but what he says during this over-glorified sausagefest is actually quite beautiful. I’m pretty sure this occurrence beats hiring midget strippers any day.

The post Listen to Bill Murray’s advice on life, love, and travel appeared first on Matador Network.

10 countries' most radical music

Photo: Paz Ferrerya

Brazil: Karol Conka — “Vô lá”
Countries defined by their most radical music by Matador on Grooveshark

I think I’ve had dreams where hip-hop group Dead Prez went to Brazil and engaged in some serious musical fusão. Happily, about a week ago I discovered Karol Conka, a 27-year-old rapper who grew up poor in the southern state of Paraná. This song’s title, “Vô lá,” means “I see you there.” It’s as though she’s letting Brazil’s oligarchs know that she’s watching them.

South Africa: Miriam Makeba — “Pata Pata”

Affectionately referred to as “Mama Africa,” Miriam Makeba was banned from South Africa in the ’60s because of her outspoken stance against apartheid. Makeba was a true activist, testifying before the UN and advocating an embargo against her native country. She was also a real traveler, holding nine different passports. Makeba never liked this song very much, and didn’t understand why it became so popular. But then, Gabriel García Márquez never understood why readers couldn’t get enough of One Hundred Years of Solitude either.

Great Britain: Kate Bush — “Wuthering Heights”

The oft-reclusive British artist is certainly one of the greatest gifts popular music has received in the last 50 years. Drawing more from literature and modern dance than ’70s and ’80s pop, Kate Bush is an icon for deep-souled introverts everywhere. Throughout her career, she’s provided a guiding light to those of us who aren’t afraid to feel, and pissed off a lot of record label executives in the process.

Argentina: Miss Bolivia ft. Ali Gua Gua — “Alta Yama”

Miss Bolivia is Paz Ferrerya, a dread-locked porteña who loves reggae, rap, and good weed. She and Ali Gua Gua team up here to bring us “Alta Yama.” They reclaim reggaeton and make rap para las madres.

Detroit/Canada: Angel Haze — “A Tribe Called Red”

Canada and the United States have terrible track records with their First Nations peoples. A Tribe Called Red make some of the most happening remixed music around, calling out racist representations at the same time. Check out this collaboration they did with American rapper Angel Haze, whose mother is a Cherokee tribal member. Pure fuego.

Spain: BFlecha — “B33″

It was time: for Spain to produce something other than electric flamenco. BFlecha is super feminine and her rap is truly cosmopolitan, making more space for her country on the musical map.

Puerto Rico: Füete Billēte — “La Trilla (Montate Aqui)”

Yes, I know Puerto Rico isn’t a country. Yet. But culturally it’s pretty distinct from its colonial overlord, the United States. These boricua rappers are vulgar and misogynistic, but they have a quality of I don’t give a fuck-ness that I find deeply refreshing. Of their lyrics, they’ve said, “Rap shouldn’t be an acceptable thing for everyone. Rap is about speaking the truth, what happens in the street, and how people live in the streets.” Whether or not I can fully accept that statement, their ability to authentically rap about how much they love weed resonates with my Californian soul.

US-Mexico Border: DJ Sonora remix of Lido Pimienta — “La Minga”

DJ Sonora is something of a mystery to me. Based in San Antonio, Texas, he’s always remixing my favorite songs with a special flair — often adding jungle noises or cumbia shakes. He keeps a low media profile, but his unique voice finds an audience through his amazing musical projects.

Chile: Ana Tijoux — “Shock”

At Lollapalooza this past January, someone in the audience yelled that Tijoux has a “cara de nana” — the face of a maid. She quickly tweeted a response, “For those who think they’re insulting me by calling me a maid, I have tremendous pride in all those hardworking women who are examples of courage.” She’s a real lucha lady, supporting several causes, from Chile’s student movement to Arizona’s problematic stance on immigration.

Cuba: Silvio Rodríguez — “Ojalá”

I wanted to end this list on a lyrical note. And there’s no one who so exquisitely blends his radical politics with emotional truths as this Cuban singer/songwriter, lovingly called “El Maestro” in Latin America. Is there any word that better encapsulates the spirit of revolution than the title of this song?

The post 10 countries as defined by their most radical music [playlist] appeared first on Matador Network.

20 things you didn’t know about Oakland

Photo: Sonny Abesamis

1. The cemetery is a perfectly respectful place for a picnic.

Mountain View Cemetery stretches for 226 acres in the hills above Oakland and has one of the best views of the San Francisco Bay in town. Other than the hundreds of historical graves and spooky mausoleums, it’s not that different from your local neighborhood park. On any given day, you’ll find Oakland residents jogging, walking their dogs, and just hanging out.

Note: Do ensure you make your way out by dusk. The last thing you want to do is get locked behind the gates of a 150-year-old graveyard overnight.

2. Bruce Lee, Tom Hanks, and Clint Eastwood all have Oakland in common.

The martial arts expert got his start fighting and teaching in Oakland. Tom Hanks attended high school in Oakland and once sold concessions at the Oakland Coliseum. Clint Eastwood lived in Oakland, where he graduated high school in 1949 before relocating with his family. Other notable historical Oakland residents include writers Jack London and Gertrude Stein, NBA point guard and coach Jason Kidd, musician John Lee Hooker, and of course, Too $hort.

3. MC Hammer is an official Oakland spokesperson.

Oakland native MC Hammer partnered with Visit Oakland to create a series of videos about the city, including highlights of important landmarks and an anthem for the Oakland Raiders. How can you NOT want to visit a city that’s been endorsed by the man who brought hammer pants into the world?

4. Lake Merritt has a sea monster living in it.

Lake Merritt. Photo: Laura Brunow Miner

The “Oak-ness Monster” has been spotted in Lake Merritt since the 1940s. It’s described as your standard Loch Ness-style creature with humps, spikes, and a long tongue. The best spot to catch a peek of the mega-beast is from docks at the Lake Chalet restaurant.

5. Oakland’s Fentons Creamery had a cameo in Pixar’s Up.

Director Pete Docter and producer Jonas Rivera both are Oakland residents and Fentons frequenters. The business was written into the plot of the film as a love letter to the historic ice cream parlor.

6. It’s one of the most diverse cities in the USA.

Nearly every ethnic group is represented in Oakland, and over 125 languages and dialects are spoken within city boundaries, making it one of the top 5 diverse major cities in the country. It’s also home to the third-highest concentration of lesbian residents in the US — a melting pot within a melting pot.

7. It inspired Disneyland.

Children’s Fairyland has been on the shores of Lake Merritt since 1950. During an age when the few “kiddie parks” in the country consisted of pony rides and snack stands, the park’s creator went BIG with elaborate fairytale sets, farm animals, and live entertainment. Walt Disney visited on its opening and incorporated some ideas for Disneyland, which opened five years later.

8. There are more artists per capita here than in any other city in the country.

Oakland Art Murmur. Photo: Sonny Abesamis

According to local lore, Oakland’s got more artists per capita than any other US city. While that’s probably a tough claim to prove (what defines an “artist,” anyway?), it’s true that the art scene in Oakland is legit. Experience it for yourself at the monthly Oakland Art Murmur — every first Friday and Saturday of the month.

9. The Wave was invented at Oakland Coliseum.

Bay Area fixture and self-proclaimed “World’s Sexiest Cheerleader” Krazy George Henderson spawned the very first full-stadium Wave in 1981 while leading the sold-out crowd at an Oakland A’s home game against the New York Yankees. After that night’s televised debut, the Wave spread like, well, a wave across the country, even traveling internationally to Mexican soccer games and the London Olympics, where the royal family was seen shamelessly Waving in the stands at a men’s tennis tournament.

10. There’s a sizable gnome population.

An unidentified Oakland man who wanted to brighten up his neighborhood painted thousands of gnomes, mushrooms, other fanciful creatures, and teensy gnome-sized doors on small wooden blocks, which he then posted at sidewalk-level (gnome-height) around the city. After a brief battle with Pacific Gas & Electric, who wanted them evicted from utility poles, the gnomes were allowed to stay.

11. It’s the home of the very first Mai Tai.

Yup, Oakland invented that monstrous thing you’re drinking out of a tiki head in some garishly decorated bar. In 1944, though, it was designed as a simple drink: just rum, lime juice, orgeat syrup, Cointreau, and a fragrant sprig of mint. Blame the rest of the world for corrupting it.

12. The religious architecture is awesome.

Oakland California Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
Photo: Jake Spurlock

There are hundreds of religious buildings from many different denominations, and of various architectural styles, within Oakland. The Gothic-inspired Chapel of the Chimes is full of stonework and ornate fountains and mosaics, while the modern Cathedral of Christ the Light is a work of glass that fills the interior of the entire building with sunlight. Also hard to miss is the big Mormon temple on top of the Oakland Hills. While you can’t set foot inside unless you’re a part of the church, you can still explore the grounds and the terrace — one of the best views of the bay anywhere.

13. You can stumble onto historic landmarks and hidden urban areas.

The Art Deco buildings scattered around Uptown aren’t so hidden — it’s hard to miss the giant facades of the Paramount Theatre (built in 1931 and now a National Historic Landmark) and the Fox Theater (1928). But there are less celebrated, more understated examples of the architectural trend spread throughout Oakland. Look for the seafoam green storefronts on 14th, or the zigzaggy brick details on the former F.W. Woolworth store on Broadway and Telegraph.

It’s not just architecture that’s stashed away within Oakland city limits. There are 3.5 acres of gardens and reflecting ponds hidden on top of the Kaiser Center parking garage on Lakeside Drive, a huge secret rose garden tucked in a Piedmont residential neighborhood, and the Cleveland Cascade, a giant set of stairs (135, to be precise) that stretch from Lake Merritt into Cleveland Heights, just sort of squished between some apartment buildings on Lakeshore Avenue. All of which makes Oakland a pretty awesome place for some serendipitous urban exploration.

14. The weather’s better here.

It’s not all gloom and fog in the Bay Area. Oakland’s generally about 10 degrees warmer than nearby San Francisco, meaning you don’t need to think about bringing a scarf everywhere and the chances of your picnic being ruined by fog are slim. A quick jump across the bay and you’re good to go.

15. You can practice fly fishing in world-class casting pools.

Oakland’s Leona Casting Pools were built in 1958. Since then, fly casters (some of them internationally recognized anglers) have been coming here for practice, equipment testing, and straight up zen-like relaxation. During the summer months, come out for a free lesson from the Oakland Casting Club. They’ll even let you borrow some equipment to start.

16. There’s a lot of nature in this city.

There are over 80 parks in Oakland where you can reconvene with your inner wilderness explorer. Local favorites include the Sausal Creek trail in the Dimond District, which runs along a creek where you can hear real wilderness sounds like birds and buzzing insects, and the Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve, which was created by lava over 10 million years ago. Today, you’ll find rock labyrinths, wooded areas, and rolling fields full of mooing cows. All in Oakland.

17. You don’t need to leave the city to see redwoods.

Redwood Regional Park. Photo: Miguel Vieira

Similarly, Redwood Regional Park, just a few miles over the ridge from downtown Oakland, contains a huge forest of coast redwoods within 1,830 acres of wilderness area. There are almost 40 miles of trails for hikers, joggers, bikers, and llama walkers — some are paved, flat, and kid-friendly, while many others head straight uphill between trees so tall they block out the sun and seem like they’re swallowing you whole. Step lightly if you notice any writhing red surfaces — each year, millions of ladybugs migrate to the park, group together in huge carpety clusters, have the most adorable orgies ever, then fly back to wherever they came from.

18. You can sit in the famous Huey Newton wicker chair.

At the Oakland Museum of California, you can recreate the iconic photograph of Huey Newton, founder of the Black Panther Party, sitting in a peacock chair with a spear in one hand, a gun in the other, and a zebra rug under his feet. The chair on display (actually a bronze replica of the real deal) commemorates the contributions made to the city of Oakland by the Black Panther Party in the late 1960s and 1970s. Visitors to the exhibit are encouraged to sit down and reflect on Newton’s legacy.

19. There are hundreds of secret staircases.

An artifact of the Key Route streetcar lines in Oakland, staircases were built all over the East Bay to transport pedestrians quickly up the city’s hillier areas, connecting different neighborhoods and streets. Urban hikers have documented and explored many of the remaining “secret staircases,” where you can now catch views of the city and the bay or climb past famous local landmarks, the beautiful backyards of people whose homes you can’t afford, and wooded areas of Oakland neighborhoods you didn’t even know existed.

20. You can visit the oldest bonsai tree in the United States.

The Golden State Bonsai Federation maintains a bonsai garden at Lake Merritt — the largest collection in California. Included is one tree, a daimyo oak, that was cultivated in 1863, making it the longest-in-cultivation bonsai tree in the country. It was donated by its owner — Abraham Lincoln’s ambassador to China.

This post is proudly produced in partnership with our friends at Visit Oakland. Find us on social and use the hashtag #oaklandloveit to share your Oakland story.

The post 20 things you didn’t know about Oakland appeared first on Matador Network.

Non-monogamy around the world

Polyandry in Tibet

Polygamy of any kind was made illegal in Tibet after the Chinese occupation, but the abolishing of collective farms in favour of individual landholdings has made fraternal polyandry the unspoken norm in rural areas. Many wives do not know the biological fathers of their children, and all spouses are treated equally. While polygamy in Tibet used to be class-based, with wealthier taxpayer families having more spouses, the difficulty of farming and families wanting to avoid splitting up farmland have made it more common in poorer families.

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Maasai and Polygamy

This group of cattle-herding traditionalists are often the face of Kenyan tourism, with their colorful robes and beads exoticising posters and safari packages. They have a cultural history of polygamy, with men “paying” each wife in cows…which she can then use to feed her family or sell milk, although she does not own them. Maasai women may be given as a multiple wife as teenagers, and will often live in the same house as other wives until they become pregnant, when they may receive a home of their own.

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Fela Kuti, musician

Nigerian musician Fela Kuti, creator of “Afrobeat,” married all 27 women in his entourage in 1978, although he later came up with a rotation system of only twelve wives at a time. His political views got him sent to jail in 1984 for a charge of “currency smuggling,” although Amnesty International classed him as a political prisoner. When he was released, he divorced his remaining wives, stating that “marriage brings jealousy and selfishness.” He later died of Kaposi’s sarcoma, a side effect of AIDS.

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Prague swingers clubs

As the Czech Republic enjoys its freedom from Soviet restrictions, the sex industry has been on the upswing with private clubs that cater to couples who want to engage in group sex becoming more and more popular. About seven swingers clubs have opened in Prague since 2010, and Czech swingers say that the practice is not generally frowned upon (“not as problematic as if you say you are gay”), due to cultural openness and acceptance.

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Fundamentalist LDS: Apostolic United Brethren

The TLC reality show “Sister Wives” (started in 2010) brought the most well-known of polygamists to the small screen: fundamentalist Mormon groups who believe the current Church of Latter-Day Saints was wrong to change their policy on multiple wives. The family of one husband, four wives, and 17 children has opened itself to prosecution by being on the show, as polygamy is illegal in Nevada, where they live.

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Malaysia’s Polygamy Club

While Malaysia is predominantly Muslim, its traditional worldview means that polygamy, while legal, is not practiced. The Polygamy Club in Rawang is looking to help single or unmarriageable women find matrimony, and say they believe polygamy deters adultery. The club has 300 husbands and 700 wives; most husbands keep their wives in separate homes and rotate between them. There is a similar club in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims to have over 1,000 members.

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Polyandry in Nepal

Fraternal polyandry, where a wife marries several brothers, was once very common in Nepal, where the rough landscape often requires more than one set of extra hands to cultivate. With increased influence from Hinduism and more job opportunities that do not depend on subsistence farming or trade, polyandry is starting to fade, although local farmers say that monogamous marriages are financially more difficult. In this photo, the seated young woman is 15: she holds her youngest husband (5). Another husband (12) is to the left, and standing directly behind her is her third husband (9). The two older standing men are brothers married to the same woman, standing to the right.

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Kazakhstan

Polygamy is technically illegal in all of Central Asia, but has been decriminalized in Kazakhstan since 1998…and has been on the upswing, especially among wealthier residents. The term for a man’s first wife is a baibishe, and his second or younger wife is a tokal; many tokals cannot be married by the state, so go to mullahs to receive an Islamic marriage. Some female lawmakers argue that if polygamy is voted into law, the constitution of Kazakhstan stresses equality between men and women…so polyandrous marriages may become more common.

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Polyamory in the West

From “poly” (many) and “amor” (love), polyamory is the practice of simultaneously being in a committed relationship with more than one person. Unlike “polygamy,” polyamorists may or may not be married to all of their partners. Relationships are characterized by discussion and negotiation of boundaries. While polyamory as a term is more common in Western nations (North America, the UK), the concept of multiple loving partnerships is more globally spread.

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Polygamy in Kyrgyzstan

Traditional Islam has filled the void left in Kyrgyzstan after the Soviet collapse, and some Kyrgyz have embraced the religion whole-heartedly, including the very traditional concept of multiple wives. The region also has a frowned-upon but traditional custom of bride kidnapping and forced marriages, and recent efforts to make kidnappings illegal butted up against efforts to legalize polygamy. Muslim mullahs perform both polygamous and forced marriage ceremonies, neither of which are recognized as valid in civil court. Many government executives are unofficially polygamous.

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Jacob Zuma, President of South Africa

Polygamy is legally recognized in South Africa, although it is uncommon, and President Zuma has been married six times, although he currently only has four wives. In 2012, activists protested Zuma’s budget of 1.2 million pounds for spousal support, citing South Africa’s impoverished economy. Some opponents also say that Zuma’s multiple wives directly contradict the government’s “one girlfriend, one boyfriend” public-safety message, which is an attempt to reduce the spread of HIV.

(via, via)

Mosuo walking marriage

Zou hun or “walking marriage” is a common practice with the Mosuo ethnic group, in the Yunnan province of China. Instead of traditional marriages, the Mosuo indicate interest, and a woman may give a man permission to visit her after dark. While sexual activities may happen with many partners, couples do not usually live together even when their relationships become longer-term; women remain with their family. Rather than caring for their specific offspring, men share responsibility for any children born to women in their own family.

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Brazilian triad

In early 2012, this triad (a group of three people who consider themselves to be in a committed relationship to each other) in Brazil were officially recognized by the state they live in as a partnership. This unprecedented legal recognition affords them the same rights as a couple living in a civil union, like same-sex couples (same-sex marriage is not legal in Brazil).

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New York “throuple”

The threesome/triad who run CockyBoys, a gay pornography company, have been together since 2008 and own a house in upstate New York as well as apartments in Manhattan and four dogs. Each twosome in the “throuple” has a unique relationship, and while all three men consider themselves to be in a committed relationship, they do not all sleep in the same bed or share living space consistently.

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The Zell-Ravenhearts

As founding members of the neopagan Church of All Worlds, the original Zell-Ravenheart couple (Oberon Zell and Morning Glory Ravenheart) coined the term “polyamory” and consider themselves married to four other people. The family ranges in age from 22 to 58 and lives in Sonoma in a communal space. Some members also have outside lovers, and not everyone in the group marriage shares sexual activity with everybody else.

(via)

The post A visual guide to non-monogamy around the world appeared first on Matador Network.

40 most scenic beaches worldwide

Summer is coming, and that means beach weekends. I realize there are some people out there who don’t go to the beach every summer, and those people are why we fight mental illness. For the rest of us, the only thing holding us over for the rest of the year is beach porn.

This is the worst time of year for me, the time just a month or two before the vacation where I’m not quite close enough to start a countdown, but I am close enough to be daydreaming about spending all day on the beach, beer in hand.

In service to anyone else who’s getting close to their beach vacation, but isn’t quite close enough, here are some of the most beautiful beaches in the world.

1

Colombier Beach
On an island known for its beaches, Colombier Beach on St. Barths stands out. It’s the only one you can’t get to by car—you’ve gotta hike or sail.
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2

Shi Shi Beach
Olympic National Park on the Pacific coast of Washington is the home to Shi Shi Beach, and one of the most beautiful sunsets of all time.
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3

Ko Phi Phi Leh
Ko Phi Phi Leh is the beach they set the movie The Beach at, and the location scouts picked it for a good reason. The Phi Phi Islands in Thailand, near Phuket, were seriously messed up after the 2004 tsunami, but have made a comeback.
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See more like this: 40 of the most photogenic coastlines in the world




4

Bocas del Toro
Bocas del Toro is a tourist town on Colon Island in Panama. It’s situated along the Caribbean coast and apparently has sunrises that match those in The Lion King.
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5

Tulum Beach
Tulum was a walled port-city for the Mayans in what is now the Mexican state of Quintana Roo—also the home to Playa del Carmen and Cancun.
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6

Sea of Stars
If you go to the Sea of Stars on Vaadhoo Island in the Maldives archipelago at night, you’ll see this other-worldly bioluminescence effect, caused by glowing phytoplankton.
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7

Lanikai Beach
Though only a half-mile long, Lanikai Beach on Oahu in Hawai’i is consistently ranked one of the most beautiful beaches in the world. It’s known for its moonrises over the Mokulua Islands—the two tiny islands in the picture above.
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8

Matira Point
Matira Point lies on the island of Bora Bora in French Polynesia, and is known for its over-the-water bungalows.
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9

Bell’s Beach
Bell’s Beach in Victoria, Australia, draws surfers from around the world. It hosts the Rip Curl surfing competition each year.
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Intermission





27 brilliant images of white sand beaches worldwide





25 reasons to visit the Canary Islands [pics]





30 of the world’s most beautiful bridges [PICs]


















10

Anse Source d’Argent
On the Seychelles island of La Digue, Anse Source d’Argent is somewhat hard to get to despite being on a fairly populated island. This means it’s usually empty, and that it’s full of rare birds and tortoises.
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11

Whitehaven Beach
Australia’s Whitsunday Island is home to the stunningly beautiful Whitehaven Beach, which has incredibly fine white sand. It is one of the cleanest beaches in Australia.
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12

Pantai Cenang
The Malaysian island of Langkawi has got some pretty amazing beaches, which is why it’s a hub for travelers and expats.
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13

Mustique
Mustique is an island privately owned by the Mustique resort in St. Vincent and the Grenadines. It’s a favorite spot for the Royal Family of the UK.
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14

Baia dos Porcos
Baia dos Porcos is in the Fernando de Noronha archipelago off the northeast coast of Brazil. It’s beautiful, and it’s not a particularly crowded beach. Yet.
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15

Malpais
Malpais Beach in Costa Rica is scenic but also remote. Perhaps for this reason, it’s become a popular location for celebrities like Mel Gibson and Gisele Bundchen looking for a getaway.
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Intermission





21 examples of you-fall-you-die photography with the world’s most insane skywalkers





40 of the most creative custom bikes on the road [pics]





89 of the world’s most mind-bending 3D chalk drawings


















16

Railay
Probably number one on the “I must go to this beach” for me on this list, and also my vote for the most beautiful beach in the world, Railay, in southern Thailand, is only accessible by boat due to the surrounding cliffs.
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17

Big Sur
California’s scenic Big Sur region has a number of great beaches. Some of them are not open to the public to protect the habitat, but others are popular surfing areas.
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18

Barra da Lagoa
Barra da Lagoa is a small fishing community near Florianopolis in southern Brazil. It’s a great surfing village because the water is rock-free, there are no sharks, and it has relatively shallow water.
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19

Fraser Island
Located in Queensland, Australia, the world’s largest sand island has a 75-mile-long beach on its east coast, which is used both as a landing strip and a highway by residents. Airplanes have right-of-way.
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20

Camps Bay
Camps Bay in Cape Town, South Africa, is the best beach I’ve ever been to. It sits on the edge of an affluent suburb of Cape Town, and has awesome views of both Table Mountain and the Lion’s Head.
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21

The Baths
The Baths on Virgin Gorda are named after large granite boulders that create little grottoes, alcoves, and tunnels that fill up with the tides.
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22

Bahia Gardner
Bahia Gardner on the Galapagos Island of Espanola is known for its wildlife, including seals, marine iguanas, and many rare birds.
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23

Cancun
Though most famous for its party and Spring Break atmosphere, Cancun has a lot of really great beaches as well.
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24

Assateague
Assateague is an island off the coast of Maryland and Virginia. The beach (and the rest of the island) is known for its wild pony population.
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25

Madaket Beach
Madaket sits on Nantucket Island, which is just south of Cape Cod, Massachusetts. And yes, this is a real sunset there.
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26

Anakena
Anakena is part of the archipelago of Rapa Nui—better known as Easter Island—off the coast of Chile.
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27

Dyrholaey
Dyrholaey is a promontory near the village of Vik in Iceland, close to the southernmost tip of the island.
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28

Wharariki Beach
On the northern tip of the south island of New Zealand, Wharariki Beach is incredibly windy. According to Maori tradition, when you die, this is where your spirit jumps off into the next world.
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29

Black Lava Beach
Black Lava Beach outside Vik is a black-sand beach on the southern coast of Iceland. You can get to it via the country's famous ring road.
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30

Shipwreck Beach
Shipwreck (or Navagio) Beach on the Ionian Island of Zakynthos in Greece is popular among BASE jumpers.
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31

Punalu’u Beach
Punalu’u is a black sand beach on the Big Island of Hawaii that is frequented by green and hawksbill turtles.
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32

Prince Edward Island
Prince Edward Island is the smallest Canadian province, up in the north Atlantic. It’s typically known as a more rural area, but has some great towns and beaches.
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33

Morro Bay
Morro Bay, near big Sur, is a famous beach community notable for the volcanic plug called Morro Rock, visible in this picture.
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34

Polihale Beach
Though Kauai’s Polihale Beach is unbelievably beautiful, only a small portion of it is swimmable, thanks to strong currents and lack of protection from the ocean.
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35

Playa del Carmen
Playa del Carmen on the Caribbean coast of Mexico is a popular cruise stop, and was actually best known for being the ferry town to Cozumel Island before it became a famous beach destination in its own right.
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36

Nungwi Beach
On the Tanzanian island of Zanzibar is the fishing village Nungwi. This picture is of the infinity pool at the resort there.
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37

The North Shore of Oahu
Oahu's North Shore is another great surfing beach, or, if you’re me at age 11, a great beach for being lifted up and then pounded into the sand over and over again until you have sand in your sinuses for another two years.
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38

Negril
Negril is a popular resort beach on the western tip of Jamaica. It has good diving and cliff jumping at certain points along the four-mile beach.
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39

Lady Elliot Island
The southernmost cay on the Great Barrier Reef has some incredible diving. Or glass-bottomed boat tours, for the uncertified or claustrophobic types.
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40

Ipanema
Ipanema is one of the most famous beaches in the world. It is situated along the coast of Rio de Janeiro, right next to one of the other most famous beaches in the world: Copacabana.

The post 40 most scenic beaches worldwide appeared first on Matador Network.

You know you’re a Berliner when…

Photo: Daniel Foster

This post is written by Adam Fletcher, author of the hit dual-language book Wie man Deutscher wird / How to be German in 50 Easy Steps.
You only have two moods: winter (sad) and summer (happy).

It can be challenging navigating the spectrum of all possible human emotions. Quite time consuming even, all that working out how you’re really feeling. True Berliners have simplified down all that emotional complexity to just two basic binary moods: happy and sad. Sad occurs during the horrible, long Berlin winter, in which we all struggle to remember, why did we move here? Happy occurs during summer, when everything is just damn peachy.

You’ve viewed a flat with 60 other people.

I know someone who moved to Berlin seven years ago. He laughed, telling me how easy it was to get an apartment in Neukölln then. He said you went to a real estate agent, who gave you a big set of keys and a map before you took yourself round to look at the apartments. He even slept in some overnight, to check the neighbours and noise levels and all that good stuff.

When I moved here with my girlfriend, some three years ago, it was already chaos. We never saw an apartment on our own, rarely with fewer than 40 other people. Everyone carried this big “please pick me” pack containing credit reports, references, employment contracts, begging letters, an essay they wrote when they were 7 about a particularly enjoyable summer holiday — anything they thought might help. We didn’t even really look at the apartments — we fought our way up the stairs, barged through the door, and with single-minded determination headed straight for the agent, laid the charm on thick, proclaimed our love for the place, told a joke or two, tried to be memorable, gave him the pack, shook hands, and left. Next Besichtigung. Hustle, hustle.

We viewed more than 30 apartments, said yes to 25, got offered one. Accepted it. I don’t even remember viewing it. I thought we were moving into another apartment, and when we arrived I was convinced they gave us the wrong one. Now, three years later, I don’t even want to imagine how bad flat hunting has got. I assume they just give you a piece of paper with an outline of the human body on it and you mark what organs you are willing to trade for a Zweiraumwohnung out in the ass end of nowhere, also known as the Ringbahn.

You’ve danced at a U-Bahn station.

I’ve never understood people having sex in toilets. I get that they are there and sort of semi-private. Or at least they have a door even if it doesn’t always reach to the floor. Yeah, I’m showing my age here, I know. But that’s a place in which people defecate and put up stickers promoting their startup. Presumably you have a bed. Go there.

So it’s with the same confusion that I disembark the U1 at Schlesi on my way home some weekend nights, only to be greeted by a popup club blocking all the exits. We have places for that already. With bars, designated dance floors, mood lighting, toilets (for sex)…. Maybe I’ve just become too German over the years, but I now humbly suggest we just use everything for the function it was intended. Oberbaumbrücke, you’re no better! Shame on you! I liked you better when you were a bridge I could actually walk across at night, before you became Buskerhain.

You’ve whinged at the constant stream of foreigners infiltrating “your” city.

Remember when in Back to the Future Michael J. Fox had to be really careful about changing stuff in the past and causing a rip in the space-time continuum? There was a lesson there about the fragile interconnectivity of all things.

Know that every time you stand outside your favourite cafe, angry at not being able to get a seat and bitterly complaining about all these new expats arriving and ruining your Kiez, just two years before, probably in exactly the same spot, someone else was standing there and saying exactly the same thing about you, then, two years before that, someone else about them and so on and so on. That repeats all the way back to the very first ape who climbed down from the trees and decided to walk upright, who was then copied by other apes, much to his annoyance, as everything was much better on the ground in the good old days before they came along. He probably then ran off to start spray painting “Schwabenape raus” everywhere.

You’ve gotten thoroughly, thoroughly lost.

I don’t mean geographically. That’s a given. I mean lost among the people and the possibilities on offer here. There’s a rather dazzling array of (mostly GDP negative) ways to spend your time. There’s not something here for everyone, there are 67 things. If it’s a Wednesday night and you decide you’re in the mood to perform Reiki on a midget, there’ll be a meetup for that.

Berlin nights begin at around 11pm, when you’ll innocently close your door to head out and see what’s happening, before bumping into some girls in a Hof, decide to join them to go meet this other guy, then that guy’s heard about this party from a dude he met juggling in the park. Which leads you somewhere, which leads somewhere…and before you know it it’s 4:30am on the following Tuesday and you’re in a club with no name, wearing someone else’s pants, dancing with people you just met, but love dearly, yet couldn’t name, and all-consumed with smug satisfaction at the joyous serendipity of life, or at least Berlin.

You’ve heard groups of people meeting in a mutual second language.

As far as I’m concerned, the single most compelling reason to live in a city is friction, cultural friction. Cities force you out of your comfort zone. Small towns are great breeding grounds for ignorance and prejudices (hence the term “smalltown mindset”), because you’re not confronted every day by those people, on the metro, in parks, sharing your table in a full cafe. You’re not forced to see how ridiculously similar they are to you.

In a city like Berlin, there’s a constant friction of different cultures meeting and trying, sometimes more successfully than others, to find ways to live together. It keeps you young and open-minded. So some of my most endearing Berlin memories are eavesdropping on street conversations where a Spaniard, a Swede, a German, and an Italian are all trying to have a conversation in beautifully broken, yet endlessly creative, English.

You hate the Zollamt.

As a general rule, if it contains the word “Amt,” you probably won’t enjoy going there (Burgeramt excluded). And the Zollamt is THE WORST. It’s a giant building of twisted, sadistic, reverse Santas who instead of giving out toys, steal them all and make you go all the way to Schöneberg to take a number, wait for an hour and beg, plead, cry, and then dance like a Russian bear until you look so pathetic they take pity on you and finally let you have that new vinyl you ordered from the US, taxed at only double what you paid for it.

Presumably, then, after a hard day’s work annoying the bejesus out of everyone, they probably go home and do similarly evil things like leaving the toilet seat up or their dirty socks on the bathroom floor. I mean, I don’t know, I’m just speculating here. Nothing would surprise me.

You’ve redefined your expectations of customer service.

In general, Berliners don’t have a reputation for being the warmest, softest, cute ickle bunnies. But where they really excel at failing is customer service. You may have heard it referred to as the Berliner Schnauze. In this city, customer service is an abstract concept lost in the suggestion box of some Amt somewhere. It’s not that people are unfriendly as such — that implies they make the effort to be hostile. Here it’s more a complete disinterest. Sometimes when being completely ignored by a heavily tattooed barkeeper at a hip basement bar I’ll actually pinch myself, just to check I have not become, inexplicably, invisible.

You’ve witnessed at least one daily act of crazy.

We all have an inner voice. It’s what keeps us company in the lonely hours. Mine likes to distract me by shouting things like “KILL THE DONKEY,” or “VOTE PEDRO” when I’m trying to concentrate on important tasks like eating chocolate or killing a donkey.

The inner voice is where our thoughts first manifest themselves. Think of the brain like a big production line, down which our earliest ideas travel. At the end is a filtering mechanism I imagine to be a big giant crusher ball on a chain, known as sanity. This swings back and forth, crushing to a pulp all of our stupid thoughts before they can go anywhere dangerous. The best ideas get to dodge the crusher and come flying out of our mouths. But, should you walk the fine graffiti-strewn streets of Berlin, you’ll see that there are a very high population of people here possessing no internal crusher. Anything can come out at any time.

You’ll spot them easily; they’re the ones dressed as shabby neon pirates and wandering around muttering to themselves incoherently. Sometimes the muttering becomes loud SHOUTS of nonsense. Berlin has more than its fair share of crazies.

You can’t find a job.

I know several people who packed up old lives, moved here, never found work, were forced to pack up their lives again and move somewhere else. People, there are no jobs here! Don’t move here unless you already have a way to sustain yourself, even if you will need vastly less money than in other cities. €1k a month is enough to live reasonably well. So work online. Freelance. Do a startup. Take a year out and write that book. Do “projects.” THERE ARE NO JOBS HERE. At least not real jobs. Let’s just agree on that now, so no one has the right to be annoyed later when they find that out. That’s part of the reason it’s cheap to live here in the first place. If it had industry, it’d be Munich. Do you want that? Do you?

You have regular Berlinergasms.

I don’t know the right word for it, so I’m coining “Berlinergasms.” I was on the tram recently and overheard an English guy turning to his two friends and saying loudly, “I fucking love living in Berlin. I just love it. It’s just so fucking great.” What he possibly lacked in eloquence, he more than made up for in enthusiasm. He was having a Berlinergasm.

The reason we developed cities was the same reason we developed towns, was the same reason we developed outposts, was the same reason we developed something a little smaller than outposts but which I’m too lazy to research. Humans are best when we pool our resources. Everything gets more economical when it’s shared. Cities should make your life easier, not harder. Berlin does this very well (at least once you have an apartment).

It’s not too densely populated and has incredible public transport that rarely closes. Because of its unique history as a divided city, I’d argue that Mitte has a far lower importance than most city centres (London, I’m looking at you in particular). So the major travel routes into the centre don’t clog up with people like they do in other cities. Berlin is more like six or seven large interconnected towns. You can bike everywhere with a minimal fear of death! What an arrogant luxury in a major European city.

So you’ll live here, and in the words of that Englishman, “you’ll fucking love it.” You’ll be happier than you could ever be in whatever boring, little, stifling town you came from. Sometimes that happiness will feel hard to contain and will just sort of overflow into a wave of temporary euphoria of thanks — thanks that you escaped that town, thanks that here you’re free to reinvent yourself as you always wanted to be, just simple thanks that you get to live here. Berlinergasms.

This article originally appeared on UBerlin and is republished here with permission.

The post You know you’re a Berliner when… appeared first on Matador Network.