Matador Network's Blog, page 2252

Which World Cup team is your fave?

For my money, the World Cup is more exciting than the Olympics. There’s a lot more riding on each game, and I get to root for my home country — the United States — and be an underdog. That pretty much never happens to America in international sporting events.

There’s just a few weeks left until the 2014 World Cup in Brazil starts up, and to commemorate the event, ESPN commissioned Brazilian artist Cristiano Siqueira to create national posters for each team. The posters include one or more of the team’s star players, their nickname, and a unique design. They are basically perfect for printing out and hanging up on your wall for the duration of the tournament.

All images via Business Insider.

1

Algeria
Algeria’s team nickname, “Les Fennecs,” translates to “The Fennec Foxes.” Pictured is Sofiane Feghouli, who plays for Valencia CF when he’s not playing for the Algeria National Team.





2

Argentina
The nickname Albicelestes translates to “White and Sky Blue,” which, come on Argentina, you can do better than that. How about the Gauchos, or the Grass-Fed Argentine Beefs? The player, obviously, is Lionel Messi, who is a year younger than me and arguably one of the best soccer player of all time.





3

Australia
Australia obviously needs to field a national basketball team and call them the “Dunkaroos.” Pictured here is all-time Australia National Team top-scorer and Vice Captain Tim Cahill, who, in his free time, plays for the New York Red Bulls in the MLS. He also played for Millwall and Everton in the UK.












4

Belgium
The Belgium Red Devils have never won a World Cup, but they’re certainly hungry for it: This past year, a Belgian team recruited a 20-month old baby. Get ‘em while they’re young, Belgium. Pictured is Chelsea star Eden Hazard, who tore it up for my fantasy team last year.





5

Bosnia and Herzegovina
Bosnia and Herzegovina is the highest ranked of the former Yugoslav countries in FIFA. Pictured is their top scorer Edin Džeko, a forward for reigning Premier League Champions Manchester City.





6

Brazil
The most successful team in World Cup history is also this year’s host: Selecao just means “The Selection,” although another nickname is “Pentacampeões” or “The Five-Time Champions.” Pictured is top-scorer Neymar da Silva Santos Junior, who at age 22, has reached the status of being known only by his first name.





7

Cameroon
Cameroon’s Indomitable Lions have been to 7 World Cups, more than any other African team. Pictured is captain and star forward Samuel Eto’o, who has received the “African Player of the Year” award four times.





8

Chile
With a nickname just meaning “The Red One,” Chile has been in 8 World Cups, but the closest they ever came to winning was third, when they hosted in 1962. Alexis Sanchez is their top scorer. He plays for Barcelona.





9

Colombia
“Cafeteros” means “The Coffee Growers.” Which is definitely fitting for Colombia. They are currently ranked fifth in FIFA’s World Rankings. James Rodriguez, pictured, is only 22 years old, but has been declared the successor to Colombia’s football legend Carlos Valderrama by many – including Valderrama himself.












10

Costa Rica
“Los Ticos” is a nickname for Costa Ricans in general, so it’s been adopted as their team’s nickname. Costa Rica is the most successful Central American country in World Cup history, having made it to four. Pictured is Joel Campbell, a young player who is signed to Arsenal, but has been on loan to a series of teams for the last few years.





11

Croatia
The Croatia Vatreni (“Blazers”) have only been around since 1991, but in their World Cup debut in 1998, they finished third and produced the top scorer. In front is Bayern Munich star Mario Mandzukic, and behind is Luka Modric, a midfielder for Real Madrid.





12

Ecuador
This will be Ecuador’s third World Cup – “Tricolor” means the same thing in Spanish as it does in English by the way – with their first being only in 2002. It’s hard to be a small country that shares a continent with Argentina and Brazil. Their captain is Antonio Valencia, a Manchester United player who had the number of Christian Benitez, a former teammate who died suddenly at 27 of a heart attack, tattooed on his arm.





13

England
The oldest national team in football is England’s team, which hasn’t won a World Cup since 1966. Their best player is Wayne Rooney, a forward for Manchester United and one of the highest paid football players in the world. England’s last World Cup appearance in 2010 ended in a very well-publicized disaster, and included a draw with America that was, if we’re being totally honest, not because America was playing all that well.





14

France
France has two nicknames, “the Blues,” and, like Ecuador, “the Tricolors.” They won the World Cup back in 1998 when they were hosting. On the left is Franck Ribery, one of their top scorers and a star at Bayern Munich, who will be participating in his last World Cup this year, and Real Madrid star Karim Benzema.





15

Germany
Germany is consistently one of the best teams in the world. “Die Mannschaft” or “The Team” made it to the finals in 2010, where they lost to Spain. With any luck, they’ll be losing against the US in the Group Stage. Sorry, did I say “any luck”? I meant a ton of luck. Up top is Mesut Ozil, a midfielder with Arsenal who broke out in the 2010 World Cup. Clockwise from him is Bastian Schweinsteiger, a midfielder for Bayern Munich, and then in the bottom left is Philipp Lahm, team captain and fullback for Bayern Munich.












16

Ghana
Ghana is another team I’d very much like to see lose instantly. In 2010, they became the third African team in history to make it to the quarterfinals. To the left is midfielder Michael “The Bison” Essien, in the middle is team captain Asamoah Gyan, who plays for Al Ain in the UAE Pro League, and to the right is Kevin Prince-Boateng, who plays for Schalke 04 in the Bundesliga.





17

Greece
The Greek team hadn’t had much luck until, as underdogs, they won the UEFA Cup back in 2004. Now they’re a force to be reckoned with. Their captain is Giorgos Karagounis, who is the most “capped” player in Greek national team history – meaning he has played in the most international matches. He currently plays for Fulham.





18

Honduras
“Catrachos” is a term used for Hondurans. They’ll be playing in their third World Cup this year. To the left is Wilson Palacios, a player for Stoke City, and to the right is Jerry Bengtson, a player for the New England Revolution in the MLS.





19

Iran
Iran’s “Team Melli” (“National Team”) is currently ranked as the best team in Asia. Furthest to the left is Jalal Hosseini, a defender for Persepolis in the Iranian Premier League; in the middle is Reza Ghoochannejhad, a forward for Charlton Athletic in the English Championship League; and furthest to the right is Javad Nekounam, the team captain and by far the leading scorer for the team.





20

Italy
Italy’s National Team Azzurri (“The Blues”) has won 4 total World Cups, second only to Brazil. Their star player is Mario Balotelli, a striker for AC Milan. Balotelli is absolutely insane, and you should Google him immediately. He once went to a women’s prison for a “look around,” and when the police found a ton of cash on him, they asked him why, and he responded, “because I am rich.”





21

Ivory Coast
I probably don’t need to translate “Les Elephants.” The Ivory Coast is captained by the legendary Didier Drogba (to the left) who has been credited with literally stopping a civil war through the sheer awesomeness of his football. Seriously, read up on him. Pictured next to him is Man City star Yaya Toure.





22

Japan
Let’s all give Japan credit for having the most badass name, shall we? “Samurai Blue” sounds like the last words you hear before you die. To the right is Milan midfielder Keisuke Honda, and to the left is Shinji Kagawa, who plays for Man U and was the 2012 Asian Football Confederation International Player of the Year.





23

Mexico
Mexico, yet another team with the nickname “The Tricolor” (come on guys, most flags have three colors in them, get creative), won the gold medal at the 2012 Olympics, and played the very first match in the first World Cup, but they have yet to win a World Cup. Their star player (pictured) is Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez, who plays for Man United, and is the third highest scorer ever for the Mexico team.





24

Netherlands
The Netherlands nickname means “Orange” as you may have guessed, but they also go by “Clockwork Orange,” and “The Flying Dutchmen,” both of which are solid in my books. They’re ranked 9th overall, and their captain (the big guy in the middle) is Robin Van Persie, the Man United striker who ruined my Fantasy team this year. Thanks, RVP. At the bottom left is Arjen Robben, a forward for Bayern Munich, and to the bottom right is Rafael van der Vaart, the captain of the German Bundesliga Hamburg team.





25

Nigeria
Nigeria’s Super Eagles are captained by goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama. To the right of him is Chelsea Midfielder John Obi Mikel, and to the left is Liverpool forward Victor Moses.





26

Portugal
Portugal’s National Team (“A Seleção das Quinas” means “The Selection of the Five Shields,” referring to their flag) is currently ranked third. The reason? Cristiano Ronaldo, one of the best players in the world right now, and also one of the highest paid.





27

Russia
Russia’s Sbornaya (“The National Team”) is currently ranked 19th in FIFA. Pictured is their goalkeeper Igor Akinfeev.





28

South Korea
South Korea’s Taeguk Warriors have been in nine World Cups, more than any other Asian team. Pictured is Park Chu-Young, who played for Arsenal most recently, but is now between teams.





29

Spain
Spain’s “Red Fury” has earned its name: They are the reigning champions, and are considered one of the best ever national teams in soccer. In the middle is goalkeeper for Real Madrid and captain Iker Casillas, who is generally thought to be one of the best goalkeepers ever. To the right is Xavi Hernandez, who won World Soccer Player of the Year in 2010, and to the left is Man U’s star midfielder Juan Mata.





30

Switzerland
Switzerland’s “La Nati” (“The National”) is currently ranked 8th. They’ve never made it past the quarterfinals, and in 2006 were eliminated without allowing a single goal, which was a World Cup record. Pictured is their captain Gokhan Inler, a midfielder for Naples.





31

The United States
The USA team is currently ranked 13th, and has never gotten past the semifinals in the World Cup. They’ve drawn the “Group of Death” this year, having to play Germany, Ghana, and Portugal in the group round. Pictured to the left is Michael Bradley, a midfielder for Toronto, and to the left is goalkeeper Tim Howard, who has been playing forever. He’s currently at Everton. In the middle is team captain Clint Dempsey, who currently plays for the Seattle Sounders. Inexplicably missing from the squad is US star Landon Donovan, who was cut at the last minute.





32

Uruguay
This tiny country has won the World Cup twice. They're nicknamed “La Celeste” (“The Sky Blue”), and their star player and captain is Liverpool forward Luis Suarez. Suarez is a gigantic jackass, having racially abused teammates and bitten people. Note the plural: he’s been called out for bitings. He’s an incredible player, though.

14 signs you're from Saskatchewan

Photo: Krystian Olszanski

1. You’ve worn your Halloween costume over a snowsuit.

One of the pains of having snow in autumn is that you always had to buy a costume two sizes too big when you were a kid. You look back in photo albums and all you see is a lumpy-frumpy princess. Not quite the look you were going for.

2. You know someone (if not yourself) who’s hit a deer more than once.

This problem grows the more north you go. Driving at night is one of the more stressful times; you must watch for potholes AND deer crossing the road. Sometimes in a two-hour drive from North Battleford to Meadow Lake you can see at least 50 deer alongside the road. Keep your eyes peeled!

3. You wear mosquito spray like a teenage boy who wears too much Axe.

It seems like you need at least three layers of spray when fighting off mosquitoes, and it definitely smells like it. Central and Northern Saskatchewan, mostly covered in forest, have it the worst — not just mosquitoes but horseflies and sandflies as well.

4. You refer to hoodies as “bunnyhugs.”

In Saskatchewan, “bunnyhugs” are hoodies, “vico” is a small carton of chocolate milk, and we either refer to Saskatoon as “Saskabush” or “S’toon.” Master the slang and you’ll fit right in.

5. You’ve actually seen a dog run across a field for a few kilometers and still remain visible.

This stereotype about the prairies is actually quite true. Southern Saskatchewan is one of the worst places to drive if you want a scenic route. Unless you adore the sight of grain fields, cows, and combines.

6. You get defensive when people assume Northern and Central Saskatchewan are exactly like Southern Saskatchewan.

It might be a shock to those who’ve never been, but only a portion of Saskatchewan is flat prairies. In Central and Northern Saskatchewan, we have a lot of rolling hills and forests. My hometown is actually the northernmost city in Saskatchewan before the landscape becomes dense forest, and we’re closer to the central area.

Our lakes up here are amazing, and people from all over come specifically to Saskatchewan for great camping experiences. If you’re ever in the neighbourhood, stop by and see for yourself!

7. You go to Manitoba and miss your appointment due to the time change.

As we go to other provinces in the spring or fall season, we tend to forget the rest of the country has a time change while here in Saskatchewan we stay the same. Depending on the province, we’ll either be wondering why the office isn’t open yet or giving an extended apology to the receptionist, explaining, “I’m so sorry. I’m from Saskatchewan.”

8. You develop special driving techniques for avoiding potholes.

At the age of 16, this is a skill you learn quickly. You’ll be paying more for replacing car parts than filling up with gas. Even though the Saskatchewan government is working hard to fix this problem, when spring comes you definitely need to pay attention to where you’re driving.

9. In January, you find -30°C to be a pretty nice day.

Besides the Territories up north, Saskatchewan has some of the coldest and harshest winters around. A normal winter consists of snow from October to April. The snow is usually past the knee, and sometimes it can be waist high. The temperature on normal January/February days is close to -40°C. Sadly, it can even get to -50°C!

If you can survive a winter in Saskatchewan, you can survive anywhere.

10. You’re never quite sure when spring is actually here for good.

This year was no exception. May 6th consisted of a mixture of snow followed by sun followed by rain that turned into hail, which turned into snow and finally melted. All this in the span of 24 hours. You know it’s spring when you have at least three weeks without a hint of snow in the air.

11. You’ve been ashamed of a bad farmer’s tan.

When you forget to change from a t-shirt to a tank top, and it’s 30°C outside — after a few hours you realize half your arm’s a nice shade of brown. Unfortunately, the other half is still as white as it was in December. Just like the farmers.

12. You’ve never heard yourself, nor anyone else, say, “No, duct tape can’t fix that.”

This roll of pure, genuine silver beauty can fix any problem. No leak in the sink is too small. PS — All the cool kids had homemade duct-tape wallets.

13. You’ve got that Rider Pride, and you’ve got it bad.

Rider Pride spreads all through Saskatchewan and is even worldwide. Going to a home game in Regina and being part of the Sea of Green is one of the most memorable experiences you could participate in. Especially a Grey Cup game on Taylor Field, when we come out as champions!

14. Despite all the terrible weather, you still always love coming home.

I lived in Uruguay for one year, and after my time there, even though it was cold and blizzarding, I was so happy to be home. It felt right to be back and watching a good ol’ Riders game.

A lot of teenagers move to Alberta or British Columbia as soon as graduation arrives. But most of them still have a piece of home in their hearts and hold it close. It’s not long before they’re back and raising their own families in this wonderful province of ours.

Carry your bike in your backpack

As our society (hopefully) starts gearing itself more toward sustainability, we’re probably going to be seeing a lot more bikes. But as bike riders in otherwise bike-friendly cities know, one of the main drawbacks is that bikes are often bulky and hard to move around if you can’t be riding them. Case in point: Sometimes I want to ride my bike here in DC but don’t have the time to ride it 10 miles. So I have to take the bike onto the subway with me. The problem is, if it’s crowded, it’s kind of a dick move.

Sada Gianluca, an engineer, may have found a way around that. He’s managed to make a small, lightweight, foldable bike that can be easily placed into a backpack and carried around. It would save you the hassle of having to lock your bike outside of your place of work, and it would make it easier to keep your bike from being exposed to the elements when you’re not riding it. It would also make transporting your bike in your car a much easier task — you wouldn’t have to install a bulky rack.

For me personally, at least, this would be a super handy bike to own.

Volcano hiking in the shadow of war

All photos: Author

The air was getting thin and my vision was blurred more than just by the smoke billowing out of the crater. I couldn’t find solid footing on the steep volcanic landscape, my knees buckled, and I placed a hand on the jagged rocks to regain my equilibrium. I could see the huts at the edge of the crater where we would spend the night, but we weren’t any closer than we were 20 minutes ago. The wind whipped over the mountain and nearly upset my balance again. It was freezing cold, but my clothes were covered in sweat from the first five hours of the hike over the tropical plateau of Goma in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. We were determined to summit Nyiragongo and peer into its crater and experience the cauldron of lava churning far below.

Even though the “African World War” officially ended in 2003, the eastern portion of the DRC has remained a battleground for various proxy armies and warlords, including a militia called M23, sowing chaos with the sponsorship of the Rwandan government. Ugandan and Rwandan troops make regular incursions into the Congo — followed quickly by official denials — to combat the cross-border raids of the militias that still terrorize the population on both sides. Virunga National Park, bordering Rwanda and Uganda, had been closed for nearly six months last year after poachers murdered a park ranger. In September, the park reopened and tourists were once again permitted to climb Nyiragongo.

I am a doctor, working in Rwanda to teach internal medicine to the generalist doctors in the rural hospitals where I live. After nearly a year, I began to notice the oppression of the Rwandan government, hidden underneath the surface for foreigners, and I needed to breathe freely again outside of its borders, thinking the Congo would provide that escape. However, two weeks before the trip, M23 restarted raping and pillaging the people of the DRC, nearly canceling the voyage and forcing us to follow the violence daily along with the weather updates. A brief window of peace opened, and the opportunity presented itself to experience Africa’s most-active volcano with a lava lake purported to be one of the more spectacular natural phenomena on the continent. We decided to chance it.

As soon as we crossed the border, the beauty of Rwanda faded into the distance. It’s more than just the rain that constantly pelts down — Goma, the border city of one million, is completely covered in black dirt. The volcano last erupted in 2002, destroying a third of the city, and leaving behind black volcanic rocks and dirt that give the region the distinctive shade. Unlike the perfectly ordered streets of Kigali, Goma is chaotic and disorganized. Immediately, life rings louder and more boisterously, the Congolese having a reputation for liveliness compared to their staid neighbors. As we drove past the sandbags and barbed wire of the UN bases, the carcasses of old passenger airplanes rotted on what used to be an airport runway. I asked about the reception of the UN troops nearly a decade after the end of the war.

“Everyone likes the South African troops the best,” Joseph, our guide, explained, “because they spend the most money and pay the most for prostitutes.”

We made our way into the countryside, littered with garbage and plastic bags snagged on the jagged rocks. Instead of the mud or clay huts with tin roofs of Rwanda, here houses are constructed of wooden planks, occasionally wrapped in plastic to protect against the elements. Volcanic rocks of all sizes are strewn about the towns, sometimes used to wall off a property, but more often than not lying exactly where Nyiragongo spewed them a decade ago.

The rain came down steadily as we pulled into the national park base camp at 6,000 feet and commenced the hike. Sixteen tourists and ten Congolese departed together: two park rangers armed with rusted AK-47s, seven porters to help the out-of-shape tourists carry supplies, and the guide Joseph. One group of spoiled Americans brought a large cooler filled with juice, fruit, and vodka that the porter could only carry on his head. Wearing sandals and balancing the cooler on a towel coiled on top of his head, he still ascended more rapidly than most of the tourists.

The terrain changes in stages throughout the ascent, each clime varied and spectacular in its own right. Thick jungle filled with massive ant colonies, hollowed out trees that house reptiles and rodents. Arid grasslands dotted with spiny trees whose roots cling to the steeper inclines at higher altitude. Red volcanic rocks covered in moss rolled and slipped under each step of the walking caravan. We ascended into yet another jungle that inhabited the muddy terrain between two peaks, exponentially worse when the rain, which paused briefly, started again. As the air continued to thin, we had to break every half hour or so for the group to catch their breath, and the water that the porters carried lightened with each stop.

Finally we reached tree line, nothing but small shrubs and scrub grass clinging to the side of the volcano. Above 12,000 feet, all vegetation disappears entirely and there is only craggy, black mountainside. After a day of trekking at an upward angle, my brain no longer remembered what flat ground felt like and lost perception of the grade of the incline. With the pack weighing me down from behind, the safest route was to lean into the mountain, occasionally placing a hand down for balance — until it became absolutely necessary to climb hand over fist. The temperature noticeably dropped every few hundred meters, and the wind beat against my face whenever I poked my head over the ridge we were paralleling.

Six hours, eight miles of trails, and 5,000 vertical feet later, we touched the summit. The smoke reeked of sulfur, making it even harder to breath in what little oxygen there was at this altitude. I couldn’t catch my breath and felt nauseated; I placed the heavy pack on the ground and then realized my body was shivering from the cold. I ducked into a shelter and changed into dry clothes and layered up for the coming night.

No signs of any life revealed themselves in this inhospitable environment, not even birds or insects. Darkness approached the summit much earlier than usual, the light obscured by the clouds and billowing smoke. At any moment, the volcano could erupt and erase any evidence that I ever existed, and the threat of immediate mortality clung to my skin for the rest of the night. Lava above and murderous militias below — Mordor has nothing on Nyiragongo.

My thighs aching, I walked up to the edge of the crater and peeked over, only to feel the world spin around me — not a good place to have vertigo. Burning embers smoked some 3,000 feet below, and a cross embedded in the peak marked the spot where a Chinese tourist intentionally leapt to her final resting place. The smoke obscured the liquid magma, so we perched on the edge of the crater and waited an hour for a clearer view. Disappointed and cold, we descended the 20 feet to the shelters to choke down protein bars and canned tuna for dinner.

After dark, we took another jaunt to the edge of the crater to experience the volcano. The smoke glowed orange from the magma, and small eruptions poking through were visible from our post, but the world’s largest lava lake refused to present itself. We posed for a few photos and headed back down. Wind whipped around the shelter; smoke billowed by the window. Wind blew up through the hole in the ground of the latrine, making it impossible to use the facilities without bearing some liquid evidence of your time there.

At ten o’clock, we decided to make one final attempt to view the lava lake. We scrambled to the top and the smoke cleared — Nyiragongo opened itself to us completely. Dark red slabs of magma skated on a pool of fiery orange lava, coalescing around a stripe of flames, the pounding heart of the activity. Floating sheets of rock were entirely consumed along the fiery line and produced again at the edges of the pool. Lava exploded in massive columns of fire a hundred feet tall and visible from 3,000 feet above, radiating heat to the crater edge. I am an afterthought, a tiny speck in space and time.

Humbly walking back to the shelter, the vitality of Goma flickered via the thousands of lights that ringed Lake Kivu in the distance. The stars sparkled overhead, competing with the volcano for primacy. I lay awake tucked in the sleeping bag, snuggling for warmth with my partner, listening to the sounds of the edge of existence. My breathing never slowed at this altitude, and I turned in the cot, searching for more oxygen throughout the night, breathing in only sulfur. The brain never ceases to enumerate the effects of altitude on the human body or the countless ways to die at that moment.

Morning brought with it the descent, and in turn, release. Freedom from the omnipresence of death, running from a rebirth by fire and down toward the vibrant chaos of Goma, hoping to avoid an encounter with M23 or their Rwandan patrons on our way home.

15 untranslatable words we need

Photo: Iker Etxebarria Urkaregi

15 awesomely untranslatable words, along with conversations for context.
1. Lebensmüde

German for “weary of life”

John: I’ve been rather lebensmüde these days. I don’t know what’s wrong.

Johnny: It’s those German lessons you’re taking.

(Luckily the word contains a smiley (umlaut) to cheer you up.)

2. Parea

Greek for “a group of friends that get together to enjoy nothing else but sharing their life experiences, philosophies, values, and ideas”

John: I’m done with going out every weekend. It empties my soul.

Johnny: Let’s get the parea back together! Steve said the same yesterday.

3. Chindogu

Japanese for “a solution to a common problem that’s pretty useless otherwise”

John: Dude, let’s prank Carlos. He left his laptop open! What should we do?

Johnny: Let’s change all his browsers to Internet Explorer!

John: That’s one genius chindogu, Johnny!

4. Badkruka

Swedish for “somebody reluctant to go into a body of water while swimming outdoors”

Johnny: Hurry up, badkruka!

John: I’ll take my time. It’s way too cold for me.

Johnny: Only Scandinavians are allowed to be badkrukas. YOU’RE GOING IN NOW!

*shove*

*splash*

5. Chingada

Mexican Spanish for “a hellish, imaginary, faraway place where you send all those who annoy you”

John: Hey, I asked the old guy drinking mezcal. He told me we should definitely visit this place called “la chingada.”

Johnny: Do you even know what that means, John?

John: Not really. It seems to be an off-the-beaten-path sort of place, since it’s not in my guidebook. Hey, look! He just sent that American couple there too!

6. Zapoi

Russian for “two or more days of drunkenness usually involving a journey or waking up in an unexpected place”

Johnny: What did you think of that restaurant?

John: It was all delicious! How did you even find it?

Johnny: Well, I woke up in their dumpster after last week’s epic zapoi, and the food still tasted pretty good, so I figured!

7. Kabelsalat

German for “tangled up cables,” literally “cable-salad”

John: Apparently every single time I put earphones in my pocket, even if it’s just five minutes, they come out impossibly tangled.

Johnny: Yeah, man it’s your pocket chef preparing you his signature kabelsalat.

8. Ikigai

Japanese for “a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to live”

John: Isn’t this just the best guacamole ever?

Johnny: Ahh, fresh avocados, my ikigai.

9. Arbejdsglæde

Danish for “work happiness, the feeling of happiness provoked by a satisfying job”

John: I heard you closed the deal! Congratulations!

Johnny: Thanks! They told me I can go on vacation now, but who needs it with such arbejdsglæde. My job is my vacation!

10. Tüddelig

German for “sweet, elderly, and senile woman”

John: Your mom is so tüddelig! Last night when you left…

Johnny: HEY, stop right there, man. What does that mean?

11. Nekama

Japanese for “a man who pretends to be a woman on the internet”

John: Haha, check this out! My friend George is trolling people as a nekama, and he’s fooling this one guy into a date.

Johnny: Ahahah, what a fool!

12. Cafuné

Brazilian Portuguese for “the act of running your fingers through someone’s hair in a loving way”

John: What happened to that girl Gina? Didn’t you have your first date last night?

Johnny: We did, but as I proceeded to cafuné at the movies her wig came off. Turns out he was a nekama named George, so we aren’t seeing each other anymore. Wait, who was that friend of yours?

John: *grins*

13. Ta’aburnee

Arabic for “you bury me,” meaning one would rather die before the other because the first person wouldn’t be able to live without the second

John: I saw we ran out of food, so I got us chocolate.

Johnny: Ta’aburnee.

14. Uitwaaien

Dutch for “going out for a walk or to the countryside in order to clear one’s mind”

John: I’m sick of the city. If I have to smell the subway one more time…

Johnny:You should take a break. The city’s great — you just overdosed.

John: Yeah, could be. I guess I should go uitwaaien this weekend.

15. Bababa ba?

Filipino for “is it going down?”

Choir of rushing New Yorkers: Bababa ba?

Person inside elevator: *awkwardly closes doors with a blank stare*

On legit elephant tourism, Thailand

All photos by author

Win a trip to Thailand! See details below.

SINCE THE OLD KINGDOM OF SIAM, elephants have been an enduring symbol of Thai culture, religion, and royal power. They’ve been used by kings in warfare, exchanged as ransom, served in finding the location for and in the construction of temples, and aided in the logging industry to haul timber and clear forests.

At the start of the 20th century, there were over 100,000 domesticated elephants in Thailand.

In 1989, the Thai government imposed a countrywide logging ban. This was good news for all the remaining wild elephants, dwelling in the small patches of untouched forest, but even though the ban was well-intentioned, it had a detrimental side effect on the domesticated elephant population. They were no longer of use to their owners, who now had to find a way to pay for their care and upkeep.

Nowadays, the situation is critical, with only an estimated 3,000-4,000 elephants left in Thailand, most of them domesticated. In 1986, the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources (IUCN) added them to the growing list of endangered species in Asia.

With their natural habitat slowly but surely giving way to industrialization and farming, reintroducing elephants into the wild seemed like an impossible task. Fortunately, the boom of the tourism industry has given a new opportunity to mahouts (elephant owners/caretakers). But as often occurs, when animals and commercialization meet, the risk of abuse and exploitation become real, as elephants had to be brutally trained to learn new ‘tricks’ for tourists.

Today, a viable alternative to commercialized and touristy elephant camps is “responsible elephant tourism,” which can help ensure the presence of Thailand’s elephants in our future…but only if these sites maintain the highest level of care, hygiene, and environmental surroundings.

Here are a few tips to help you choose your camps and sanctuaries responsibly:

Camps that allow riding an elephant should be avoided. However, if you really want to experience it, make sure that only a single person rides on the neck of the elephant, as opposed to multiple adults riding on a heavy trekking chair on the back of the elephant.
Another thing to look out for is the use of bullhooks. Handles with sharp metal hooks are used to stab sensitive areas such as the mouth or ears to cause pain and train elephants to behave.
Elephants need stimulation, enrichment, and plenty of food. The best place to visit them is in their natural environment, or as close to it as possible. Seek out a sanctuary that offers elephants space to roam freely, bathe, and take shelter from the heat.
Look for camps with “low-impact” activities such as bathing or feeding elephants, and avoid anything that includes a show with unnatural spectacles such as painting, playing football, or carrying tourists through the jungle.

There are many camps in Thailand that call themselves “sanctuaries” while still demonstrating questionable welfare standards. Here are a few that offer truly responsible tourism and volunteering opportunities to those interested in working hands-on with the animals:

Elephant Nature Park

Established in the 1990s, ENP is Sangduen “Lek” Chailert’s labor of love. It aims to provide a sanctuary and rescue center for elephants who are free to roam in a beautiful natural setting, along with other rescued animals such as cats and dogs. Lek has been named a “Hero of Asia” by Time Magazine for her dedication to elephants. ENP also works to preserve and restore the rainforest, as well as educating visitors about local endangered species.

BEES Elephant Sanctuary

Burm and Emily’s Elephant Sanctuary (BEES) provides a place for old and retired elephants to call home. Just like ENP, elephants roam free in a vast preserved area, and the founders focus on educating tourists, as well as offering English courses to the local community. They also grow their own crops to be more sustainable and environmentally friendly.

Wildlife Friends Foundation Thailand

WFFT offers volunteering opportunities to those interested in working hands-on with elephants. Their main objectives are rescuing wild animals and promoting conservation. They offer basic bungalows as accommodation for volunteers. The sanctuary houses not only elephants but also gibbons, macaques, bears, and a tiger.

The Surin Project

While most sanctuaries are located in the north of Thailand around Chiang Mai, the Surin Project is a new initiative committed to improving the living conditions of elephants in northeastern Thailand, and providing sustainable economic revenue for their mahouts in the local community. Their volunteering program allows tourists to learn about elephant welfare and help with daily chores. A word of warning, though: The Surin Project is not an elephant sanctuary and is located within a government run facility that does not have the same welfare standards as the sites listed above.

Just remember: The needs of the elephants, not the tourists, must come first.

Here’s your chance to give back and promote socially responsible travel to Southeast Asia. The Tourism Authority of Thailand is giving three groups of friends the opportunity to explore Thailand and participate in volunteer community projects that are helping make the world a better place. Enter today for your chance to win.

23 scenic natural areas to explore

While humankind has made its mark on the planet, many areas remain protected, and for good reason — the 57,268,900 square miles of Earth contain such biodiversity that one can’t fathom everything that’s out there. The menagerie of plants and animals sharing space on our world is overwhelming. Equally impressive is the array of geological formations, waterways, and forests providing habitat for such a diverse collection of species.

Check out these 25 scenic natural parks, reserves, and protected areas that show us the tip of the iceberg.

1

Antarctica
Over 30,000 people visit Antarctica yearly, though only a small percentage of them actually land on the continent. Those brave enough (and willing to adhere to strict rules, often including no bathroom usage) can spend the night camping in the cold, a worthy exchange for sights of the midnight sun and emperor penguins.
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2

Vatnajökull National Park (Iceland)
Vatnajökull National Park (home to the ice caves of Skaftafell, Svartifoss waterfall, and Europe's largest glacier, Vatnajökull) is only accessible by foot. During the summer, hikers often find themselves knee-deep in the streams of the park in order to continue on the trail.
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3

Kruger National Park (South Africa)
Kruger National Park covers a massive 7,580 square miles of northeastern South Africa, allowing the 147 species of mammals (including 1,500,000 impalas) plenty of room to roam. The park contains 21 rest camps, which are affordable and open to all visitors, making them quite popular with the backpacker crowd looking to wake up to an African elephant at the front door.
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4

Guilin and Lijiang River National Park (China)
Adventurers can take a 30-mile boat ride on the Li River in the Guilin and Lijiang River National Park, which is famous for its green hills and heavily eroded limestone karsts reminiscent of Ha Long Bay. Cormorant fishermen use trained cormorants – birds adept at diving and swimming underwater – to catch fish in the river. (It's often noted that this practice mainly serves as a tourism attraction today).
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5

Doñana National Park (Spain)
Doñana National Park, a nature reserve (famous for its birdwatching) in Andalusia, Spain, is renowned for its unique biodiversity – 127 non-marine bird species are known to spend their nesting seasons within the park. Many environmental issues have threatened the flora and fauna of the park, prompting UNESCO to review it for potential placement on its “List of World Heritage in Danger.”
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6

Galápagos National Park (Ecuador)
97% of the Galápagos Islands are designated as a national park, and with good reason: The islands are home to numerous endemic species. One of the best-known species of animals on the islands is the Galápagos tortoise.
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7

Joshua Tree National Park (United States)
Situated in Southern California's Mojave Desert, Joshua Tree National Park (which actually isn't the site of U2's album cover) gets its name from the Joshua Trees that grow throughout the area. While the rock climbing here is legendary, Joshua Tree's stargazing potential is where it truly shines – clear skies with little to no light pollution attract photographers in droves.
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8

Hwange National Park (Zimbabwe)
Hwange National Park is the largest game reserve in Zimbabwe, situated near the famous Victoria Falls. One of the largest populations of African wild dogs (Lycaon pictus for those wondering) lives within the park. Additionally, the elephant population has grown so much that park authorities are trying to find a solution to the overpopulation issue.
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9

Pisgah National Forest (United States)
A national forest in North Carolina's Appalachian Mountains, Pisgah National Forest spans over 512,750 acres of mountains and pockets of ancient old-growth forests, and has great paddling, hiking, and biking. The first school of forestry in the US was located in modern-day Pisgah National Forest. The school helped spawn the US Forest Service, which currently administers all US forest land.
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10

Banff National Park (Canada)
During peak season at Banff National Park, nearly 2,500 campsites spread out over 13 campgrounds are occupied. Despite the potential for nighttime temperatures to drop below 0 degrees Celsius, Alberta's Banff National Park remains one of the most-visited parks on the planet. Hordes of visitors flock to Banff to paddle on the lakes; those who prefer to stay on solid ground have over 1,000 miles of hiking trails to choose from.
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11

Grampians National Park (Australia)
The Grampians can be found 146 miles west of Melbourne. The park has several major attractions: Its wildflowers alone draw tourists in the spring, while rock climbers frequent the park for its geological formations. Hikers who reach the sandstone peaks are rewarded with panoramic bird's-eye views of Halls Gap and Lake Bellfield below.
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12

Huascarán National Park (Peru)
Found high in the Andes, Huascaran National Park is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and home to Peru's highest mountain, Huascarán. The park attracts both novice and expert mountaineers. Additionally, a diverse set of wildlife can be found in the region – many cougars, jaguars, vicunas, and tapir call the park home.
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13

Na Pali Coast State Wilderness Park (United States)
Na Pali Coast State Wilderness Park is situated on the Hawaiian island of Kaua'i. Home to the demanding 11-mile Kalalau Trail, the state park provides hikers with aerial views of the Pacific Ocean's blue waters and rich, green vegetation-laden coastline. The na pali, high cliffs, hit elevations of roughly 4,000 feet above sea level.
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14

Tayrona National Natural Park (Colombia)
Tayrona is located on Colombia's Caribbean coast. It's extremely popular for birdwatching, as 300 species live within it. Additionally, the park has diverse flora, fauna, and geological features that range from the mountainous regions of the Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta to the beach-covered coastline. Reefs can be found offshore.
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15

Snowdonia National Park (Wales)
Over 26,000 people live within Snowdonia National Park, but it draws over 6,000,000 visitors annually. Roughly half stay within the park for an extended period of time – the 823 square miles are a lot to cover (but in reality, 69.9% of park lands are private). A large majority of hikers trek Snowdon, Wales' highest mountain, despite the area being one of the country's wettest.
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16

Terra Nova National Park (Canada)
On the east coast of Newfoundland sits Terra Nova National Park, which takes its name form Newfoundland's Latin translation. It has several campgrounds, allowing for a lengthy stay and ample time to hike, canoe, and kayak. In nearby Newman Sound, moon jellyfish and snow crab can be seen via boat tours.
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17

Kosciuszko National Park (Australia)
Tucked in the southeastern corner of New South Wales, Kosciuszko National Park is home to mainland Australia's highest peak, Mount Kosciuszko (7,310 feet). Skiers can visit one of the many ski villages that comprise Perisher Ski Resort, while the Australian Alps Walking Track is popular for summertime hiking.
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18

Khao Sam Roi Yot National Park (Thailand)
An apt description for the national park and its landscape, Khao Sam Roi Yot means “mountains with 300 peaks.” Vegetation-covered limestone hills, freshwater marshes, and white sand beaches are found throughout the park. Adventurers looking to get a little shade can visit Phraya Nakhon cave (pictured), in which a pavilion was built for King Chulalongkorn's 1890 visit.
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19

Gros Morne National Park (Canada)
Gros Morne National Park is an outlying mountain range of the Appalachians, located on the western coast of Newfoundland. Due to its geological history and scenery, the park was recognized as a World Heritage Site by UNESCO. There is no shortage of hiking, as there are roughly 20 marked trails. Many of the park's rock formations are made of Precambrian granite and Paleozoic igneous rock.
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20

Etosha National Park (Namibia)
Covering an area of 8,600 square miles, Etosha National Park spans the large majority of the Etosha pan (a vast salt flat). It's home to common and rare species of mammal, including both the white rhinoceros and black rhinoceros. Lodges and campsites with game-proof fences can be found within Etosha.
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21

Mitchell River National Park (Australia)
Only accessible by four-wheel-drive vehicle, Mitchell River National Park's beauty makes the bumpy ride worth it – over 50 species of mammal, 220 species of bird, and 86 species of amphibian and reptile live within the boundaries. Bushwalking and swimming are the main activities as there are forests and plunge pools all over the park's 284,970 acres.
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22

Chobe National Park (Botswana)
Botswana's first national park, Chobe is often divided into four regions classified by ecosystem. Throughout the park, the scenery changes from woodlands to floodplains to marshes to dry hinterlands. With several campsites within Chobe National Park, visitors have many opportunities to watch a number of the roughly 50,000 elephants living in the park go about their business.
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23

Isle of Arran (Scotland)
The Isle of Arran has been continuously inhabited since the Neolithic period, though the “clearances” of the Scottish Highlands led to a depopulation of the area (which has since recovered greatly due to tourism). The isle is covered with hills and valleys, though the main tourist attraction is Brodick Castle. Those not satisfied with the Isle of Arran's natural beauty can visit the Arran Distillery and the Arran Brewery for some extra “motivation."
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A normal friend vs. a French friend

Photo: _MissAgentCooper

1. A normal friend will apologize for smoking so close to you. A French friend will say, “Do you want one? Come on, I know you want one!”

2. A normal friend will send you a card for Christmas and New Year’s to wish you all the best for the holiday season and the year to come. A French friend will receive your card, love it, stick it on the fridge, but never answer back.

3. A normal friend will listen to you quietly and nod when you’re venting about someone. A French friend will get just as angry as you, or more, and will call that person names until she runs out of terrifying swear words.

4. A normal friend will get annoyed at you if you don’t keep in touch. A French friend will forget about the lack of emails and welcome you with open arms and a whole lot of skipping around when you come home after a long absence.

5. A normal friend will bring beer or wine to your dinner party. A French friend will bring the best bottles of wine he found, white and red, so you can pick what you like best, a cake from the bakery down the street, and bread (“you can always have it for breakfast tomorrow”).

6. A normal friend will invite you for a stroll in the park or along the beach. A French friend will meet you at the café with drinks already ordered.

7. A normal friend will wish that you feel better soon when you’re sick. A French friend will take advantage of your nausea to enumerate all the food that’ll make you gag: sauerkraut, lentil stew, fish soup, etc.

8. A normal friend will apologize for being late. A French friend will blame it on the metro / bus / train / car / showerhead / door lock / etc.

9. A normal friend will offer you crackers if you want a snack. A French friend will get the bread, butter, and jam out.

10. A normal friend will offer you tea or coffee after supper. A French friend will get the absinthe and the homemade schnapps out and fill up your glass before you have time to say, “Yes, please!”

11. A normal friend will organize a brilliant New Year’s Eve party and rock all night long. A French friend will do his best, but will fail miserably. French New Year’s Eve is ALWAYS a letdown.

12. A normal friend respects your privacy. A French friend will say how cute your bra looks through your shirt and peek right into it to check it out.

13. A normal friend will accept you the way you are. A French friend will tell you, “You can’t go out like that!” You’ll need to fix your hair, change your top, and shave your legs before you can even think of leaving for the evening.

14. A normal friend will rent a few newly released movies for a quiet night at her place. A French friend will take out the Gad Elmaleh DVDs you’ve seen a hundred times together and burst out laughing even before pressing play.

15. A normal friend will give you a hug and pat your back when you’re down. A French friend will squeeze the despair out of you and kiss you on the cheeks until you feel all better.

Why do Americans love guns?

Photo:

10 signs you're a tourist in NYC

Photo: Harold Navarro

1. You take your sweet time.

While working professionals push past in the classic New York huff, you’re strolling through Times Square like you’re moseying down the beaches of Aruba. Every other pedestrian is weaving in and out of crowds, rushing as though they’re practicing for the New York marathon, and you’re enjoying the way the morning light cascades down the sides of glass skyscrapers. Even on a Monday morning, when it seems the other commuters can hardly wait to reach their respective cubicles, you’re taking a moment to embrace the city in all its glory.

2. You’re still learning the ins and outs of the NYC subway.

The incoming train is packed with commuters, and you go for the one empty train car, thinking to yourself you’ve hit the subway jackpot. As you sit in that deserted train car — wondering if the empty seat was worth the lack of AC or the horrid stench you’re now enduring — you realize you may not know all the ins and outs of the NYC subway system after all.

Having made eye contact with subway dwellers of questionable sanity or missed a train by swiping your metro card multiple times at the turnstile, you’re still learning your subway lessons the hard way. You thought the New York subway would be similar to that of any other major city, but the more you ride, the more you realize the show Survivor could have dedicated a season to people trying to navigate the tunnels, stations, performers, and all the unspoken rules of the MTA subway system.

3. You haven’t discovered the New York food scene yet.

While you’re ordering takeout from that corner Chinese restaurant, defaulting on what’s convenient and affordable, your friends are sharing photos of coveted restaurant dishes on their Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and dedicated food blogs. Anytime the topic of food comes up, your friends come armed with three to five recommendations of in-the-know locales, gushing over an Ethiopian or Peruvian meal they had just last night.

New Yorkers love food and pride themselves on knowing off-the-beaten-path haunts that serve “the best tapas in the world” or “died-and-gone-to-heaven chicken tikka masala.” You listen to their culinary adventures, thinking twice about the pile of Chinese takeout menus sitting on your coffee table.

4. You haven’t picked sides against New Jersey.

Last time you were in New Jersey, you actually enjoyed the quiet neighborhoods, cheaper prices, and open-air beer gardens — and made the mistake of saying so. As you let slip your love for our Garden State neighbor, your friends are now teasing you with Jersey Shore comments and New Jersey accents. While NYC locals will pledge allegiance to the Empire State, the secret truth is, we like our neighbor — we just don’t admit it aloud.

5. You still lose your cool when you spot a celebrity.

“Was that Emma Stone?” Your mind is practically reeling, but as you look around at the New Yorkers brushing past, you realize no one has so much as given the celebrity spotting a second glance. Our city is home to many famous people, but after some time, our lives become so saturated with movie sets and celebrity sightings that our reactions become insouciant. While you’re taking deep breaths from having brushed elbows with Spiderman’s girlfriend, everyone else is shuffling to their next appointment.

6. You neglect the other boroughs.

Brooklyn? Queens?! The idea of venturing off the island of Manhattan to another borough sounds as convenient as catching a flight to Australia. While your friends are raving about the Brooklyn Flea Market, the bar scene in Williamsburg, and interesting eats in Queens, you still haven’t made the trip to the Upper West Side. Brooklyn may seem like the latest fad, but with chefs migrating across the river and trendy stores opening their doors in Williamsburg, it’s worth the subway ride to explore the personalities of the other boroughs.

7. You bring pepper spray to Harlem.

Your jaw practically hits the floor when your friends say they want to have dinner in Harlem. Images of darkened corners, sidelong glances, and deserted train stations have you running for your pepper spray rather than to Open Table to make a reservation way uptown. True, Harlem was once a neighborhood that struck fear in the hearts of New Yorkers, but things have changed.

8. You go out dancing in the Meatpacking District.

You spent high school watching TV shows and movies that showed glamorous friends drinking fancy cocktails at rooftop bars along the cobblestone streets of Manhattan’s Meatpacking District. When you arrived in New York, the first thing you did was don a killer outfit and make your way over to the epicenter of style…just to discover that everyone there’s a tourist.

New Yorkers know the Meatpacking District is home to overpriced drinks, unreasonable cover charges, and European tourists all looking to have that classic New York nighttime experience. Opting instead to enjoy revelry in neighborhoods like the Lower East Side, locals know better than to wait in line and pay for $15 drinks at a posh club.

9. You think you can find the holy grail of New York City apartments.

You go searching for apartments with earnest, determined to find a home that’s both spacious and reasonably priced, but located in one of the cooler neighborhoods in the city. Keep dreaming! Locals know that unless your bank account resembles that of Donald Trump’s, the NYC apartment search always comes down to choosing between comfort and location.

Brokers may claim they’ll lead you to the holy grail — that elusive mix of price, comfort, and location — but likely you’ll wind up with an out-of-budget hole-in-the-wall and a thousand-dollar broker fee. Whether you opt for the comfortable apartment and riding the subway to cooler neighborhoods, or the small apartment positioned above a trendy dive bar, it’s always one or the other.

10. You’re still in love with New York City.

You listen sympathetically as friends lament about their lives in New York, blaming their problems on subway commutes, sky-high rents, and crowds. They seem to love New York one day and then shake their fist at it the next. While most New Yorkers have a love-hate relationship with the city, you’re still head-over-heels in love. Pouring rain? You love the way the rain catches the light off the buildings! Crowded subways? You love the hilarious mix of people huddled together in the train cars! You still see New York in shades of pink, letting the glitter of the city settle wonderfully over your eyes.