Matador Network's Blog, page 2187
October 13, 2014
Never travel with your best friends
Photo: jeff habourdin
ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS refuses to stay in shitty hotels. The price of the alternative doesn’t matter — he’s just not willing to sleep on a budget motel bed that, as far as he knows, is totally encrusted with semen. He’ll pay the extra money to sleep in sheets with high thread counts and on pillows set to his exact Sleep Number. I can’t argue with this guy. The only reason I’ll stay at a budget motel is because I have extremely low standards and a proven ability to ignore substances that are probably semen.
I’ve traveled with my friend on several occasions, and it would be fair to say we have different tastes. He likes quality, I like quantity. He likes classy, I like available. He plays golf, I play drinking games. He likes fine dining, I like boardwalk chili dogs.
Usually, when we travel together we spend relatively little time hanging out together. He goes and does his own thing, I go and do mine. We’re very close friends and have been for a very long time — but we’re just not travel friends.
Home friends vs travel friends
As soon as I started traveling, I learned there were people I could travel with and people I couldn’t. The people I couldn’t travel with weren’t any better or worse friends than the ones I could travel with when we were all at home. But if I made the mistake of traveling with a home friend, I found there was a good chance I’d come back with one fewer friend.
Over time, I tried to hone my ability to identify travel friends out of my group of home friends. I’d ask myself the following questions about the person before planning a trip with him or her:
Does this person have a particularly loud or grating voice that I would not want to hear early in the morning after very little sleep?
Is this person cool with improvising? If we had plans but found something else to do that sounded cooler, would they stick to the original plan or be flexible?
Is this person interesting to be around for hours on end?
The questions had to go the other way as well. It wasn’t the person under the microscope, but my relationship with them. So I also asked myself these questions:
Does this person enjoy listening to my awesome stories and jokes?
Is this person a deep enough sleeper to put up with my snoring? Are they okay with sleep farts?
Is this person okay with me being quiet for long periods of time?
The questions helped me somewhat with identifying who was a good traveler and who wasn’t, but I found that ultimately, it came down to chemistry. Or, not chemistry — chemistry is an exact science — but down to something less tangible, something magical. It came down to alchemy.
Romance and travel friends
The best travel friend I’ve ever had is my fiancée. We’re compatible on virtually everything when we travel together. We don’t fight. We just roll with it and have fun. And it’s not a coincidence that the woman I’m most romantically compatible with is the person I’m most travel compatible with. If the friend I mentioned in the beginning were a woman, and we were both physically attracted to one another, we could still never have a long-term relationship. And not just because he hates semen.
When you travel with someone, you’re exposing the best and worst of yourself to that person. You’re showing them how you behave in stressful situations. You’re showing them what you’re really like — and not just in short bursts, which is the way we see most of our friends at home, but over long stretches of time. If you’re hanging out in someone’s backyard for a couple of hours, you can turn yourself “on” and “off.” But you can’t be “on” all the time when you travel. That’s exhausting.
Traveling with someone forces you to be vulnerable in front of them. It forces intimacy. And while intimacy is a good thing, there are some people who you just won’t have the special alchemy with required to be intimate in travel or romance.
That’s fine. They can remain home friends for now, and that doesn’t make them any better or worse friends than the ones you travel with. One person is never going to be able to be everything for you, anyway. 
Signs your family's Chinese-American
Image Blh
1. You speak Chinglish fluently.
You and your parents have developed your own, unique language, made up of some parts English and some parts Chinese. Every Chinese-American family has their own version of Chinglish. Some of my family favorites: “I bought hen duo (a lot) of your favorite snacks.” “It’s too mafan (troublesome).” And: “That’s so diu lian (humiliating).” When you were younger you felt embarrassed to speak Chinglish in public, but now that you’re older, you cherish having such an intimate language that you share with only a few other people in the world.
2. You appreciate your Tiger Mom now that you’re older.
For you, the Tiger Mom is neither myth nor satire. Got an A- in your super hard Physics class? Too much TV. Can’t master that piano concerto at the age of eight? Practice more. Not as good as your math whiz cousin who got into MIT at the age of 13? No more video games. Play was considered a four letter word when you were growing up. While this may have made for a stressful childhood, once you were out in the world on your own, you appreciated the discipline your Tiger Mom taught you. But she still hassles you on the phone, no matter how old you are.
3. There’s a collection of really tacky gold jewelry waiting for you once you get married.
Your Chinese parents may be completely Americanized otherwise, but one cultural habit from the old country they can’t let go of is collecting gold jewelry for their daughters’ weddings. We’re not talking tasteful, subtle, delicate pieces. We’re talking blingy, 24K pieces with dragon and flower motifs and big-ass rubies. We’re talking the kind of jewelry that doesn’t go with anything. Except the super uncomfortable red qipao dress with gold embroidery that you’re not looking forward to wearing at your Big Fat Chinese Wedding banquet.
4. Weekend brunch means dim sum.
While your American friends had bacon, eggs, and pancakes for weekend brunch, you went out for dim sum. The phrase means “little hearts” in Cantonese, and consists of tapas-like portions on small plates. In traditional dim sum restaurants, the dishes are pushed around on carts for customers to look and choose while seated at their tables. Dim sum favorites like har gow (steamed shrimp dumplings), siu mai (pork dumplings), char siu bao (barbeque pork-stuffed buns), and lo baak gou (turnip cake) are best washed down with strong Chinese tea. If you don’t live near good Chinese food nowadays, you are craving this stuff like crazy.
5. You’re programmed to fight for the check at restaurants.
Your Chinese parents have taught you that there’s no such thing as going Dutch — when you go out to eat with others, you must always fight for the check. And this fight is no gentle affair. Tiger Moms, in particular, will crawl over the table, push, shove, and scream at the waiter in order to snatch the check away. You’re also skilled in all the stealth tactics — like slipping the waitress your credit card before the meal begins. Check out this video if you need a refresher on check-fighting skills.
6. Unless you’re a doctor, accountant, or pharmacist, your parents don’t really get what you do for a living.
Chinese parents want their American-born kids to have a better life than what they experienced. They don’t want their kids to struggle for money. So they over-emphasize certain careers, and can’t understand why their kid would waste an American education to become a food-truck owner, photographer, or, worst of all, travel writer. Chinese dads typically just give you the silent guilt trip, and defer to Tiger Moms to chew you out about your wasteful life choices.
7. You have an expensive piano in your family home — one that your parents really couldn’t afford.
Like other Chinese-American kids, you grew up playing and hating the piano. Ever hopeful that you’d become a famous classical pianist (while also practicing medicine), your Chinese parents insisted on buying the best piano in the store. When you look at the dusty, unused piano today taking up half of your living room, you remember how your parents drove the same Toyota Corolla for two decades so you could always have the best of everything.
8. You get red envelopes full of cash every Chinese new year.
So long as you stay unmarried, you get a cash gift in a red envelope every year as part of the Chinese new year tradition. Even if you’re 40 years old, you’re still considered a kid until you get hitched. Once you get married , you’ve got to start doing the giving. But until then, mommy and daddy gotta pay up.
9. You spent your summers bussing tables.
It’s one of those stereotypes based on fact — many Chinese immigrants do work in the restaurant or laundry businesses. You know you grew up in a Chinese-American family if you’ve ever had to spend your summer vacation wiping down tables or taking orders for chow fun and sweet-and-sour chicken.
10. You’ve been on the “Love Boat.”
This is actually called the Expatriate Youth Summer Formosa Tour, but we ABCs (American Born Chinese) all know it as the Love Boat. The summer program in Taiwan is meant to re-acquaint young people to their cultural heritage through language courses, history lectures, and scenic tours. Yeah, right. It’s just a great big scam to get our parents to pay for what we all know is the Chinese-American hookup scene.
11. You spent many hours as a youth sitting in a double-parked car in the middle of crowded Chinatown.
Your parents had no qualms about double parking on a busy street, and jumping out to pick up some bok choy or barbequed duck. That’s why the traffic is so bad in Chinatown — too many Chinese parents double parking. You have many memories of shouting at them to hurry up as the meter maid advances upon your car.
12. You shower at night.
Only once you move into the dorms at college do you realize that most Americans shower in the morning. “Aiyaaaa, disgusting!” you can hear your mom saying. “Who goes to bed with dirty feet and dirty underwear?” You realize later on in life the benefit of night showering — you never have to compete for the bathroom with your non-Chinese roommates.
13. When it comes to kung fu movies, you prefer the old-school classics.
After Chinese school on Sundays, your dad would sometimes take you to old, run-down theaters in Chinatown. Like your dad, you agree that Hollywood blockbusters like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon are lame in comparison to movies like Drunken Master and Snake in the Eagle’s Shadow. You have memories of eating dried mango and salted cuttlefish in the theater, and leaving roasted watermelon seeds all over the floor.
14. You grow up assuming that all men can cook.
Chinese dads are typically just as adept in the kitchen as Chinese moms. Which means a hard landing when you grow up and realize your non-Chinese boyfriend does not know how to whip up a four-course meal out of leftovers in the fridge.
15. You know you’re loved even though you never hear “I love you.”
Chinese parents aren’t prone to saying “I love you” or giving spontaneous bear hugs. They express love in other ways — such as cleaning your car while you’re at work, making sure to always stock up on your favorite drinks from Costco, buying you a space-age digital rice cooker for your first apartment, or “accidentally” forgetting to tell you that no-good American boy stopped by to see you.
16. You know where the best all-you-can-eat buffets are.
Chinese parents — especially if they are immigrants to the U.S. and have worked hard to provide for their families — love a great deal. Ask any Chinese mom or dad and they’ll have an opinion on the best all-you-can-eat buffet. My dad’s pick: The seafood buffet at the Rio in Las Vegas. But you can’t just go and wing it — you have to have a strategy. I can still hear my dad yelling at me to skip the bread rolls and mashed potatoes and head straight for the crab legs and shrimp.
17. You kinda like the smell of Tiger Balm now — it makes you nostalgic.
Chinese parents slather this stuff on for just about any ailment, from a mosquito bite to a twisted ankle to bronchitis. It used to embarrass you when your American friends came over and noticed the smell of menthol lingering in the air. Now you find yourself buying Tiger Balm off of Amazon and realizing it’s gained a kind of cult popularity. 
Insider’s Guide to Whistler: Plan your trip
A 5-video series in which adventurer, travel writer, and TV host Robin Esrock joins infamous Whistler Insider Feet Banks for a whirlwind tour of the best that Whistler has to offer.
IN EPISODE 1, follow Robin and Feet as they make the quick trip from Vancouver International Airport to Whistler and give an overview of the resort, talk about what to expect, and discuss how to fit in and make the most of your Whistler vacation.
* * *
This video is proudly produced in partnership with our friends at Tourism Whistler. Visit their site to watch the entire Insider’s Guide to Whistler series.
How to piss off a Russian
Photo: Ilya Dobrioglo
Fetishize the USSR.
While some older Russians pine for the days of breadlines and Polish black market pantyhose, most people — especially of the younger generation, who came of age in the calamitous years of Yeltsin — do not. Visit a gathering of the Communist Party in Russia today and you’ll only see faded red flags and straggly silver hair.
So please, leave that mall-bought-hammer-and-sickle t-shirt at home, because there’s nothing cool about glamorizing 70 years of oppression and hardship.
Brag about the United States’ single-handed victory in WW2.
World War 2, also known as the “Great Fatherland War” or the “Great Patriotic War,” remains the most sensitive historical topic for Russians. You’d be pretty touchy, too, if 25 million of your countrymen perished in six years of battle, bombs, and starvation. Alas, these startling statistics are all too often overshadowed by Hollywood’s — and even some textbooks’ — predominant narrative: that the Americans were the true heroes of WW2, single-handedly shifting the tides on the Western Front and in the Pacific.
In fact, the most decisive events of the war occurred on the Eastern Front, which was four times larger and deadlier than its Western counterpart. And if the word “Stalingrad” means nothing to you, congratulations — you’re in the perfect position to piss off any Russian.
Joke about mail-order brides.
One of the most common caricatures of Russian women is that of the mail-order bride, some gold-digging Svetlana who dreams of green cards and platinum hair extensions. Rarely, however, do we acknowledge the complex socioeconomic underpinnings of this phenomenon.
For many Russians, especially those living outside of Moscow and St. Petersburg, life remains a struggle with few opportunities for upward mobility. Additionally, due to staggering rates of alcoholism and domestic violence in Russia, eligible bachelors are in short supply. Thus, international matchmaking agencies do more than just rip off gullible Western men — they offer deserving Russian women the opportunity to have a family life that is statistically less likely to involve drunken beatings.
Assume we all hate Putin.
As of August 2014, the independent Moscow-based research institute Levada Center recorded an astronomical 84% public approval rating for Putin. Yes, in spite of obvious corruption and authoritarianism, most Russians support their president, and not just because he rides stallions through the snow while shirtless. To many citizens — young and old, rural and urban — Putin represents a strong, decisive leader who will protect them as they gallop into their country’s future as an international pariah.
Or assume we all love him.
What public opinion polls do not show is the quiet discontent simmering beneath the surface of Russian society. These are not the creative class’s high-profile protests or blogger exposés, but rather the everyday malaise that has defined Russians’ political attitudes ever since Ivan was Terrible. Today, any Russian with an Internet connection and half a brain is privy to Putin’s corruption, crackdowns, and blatant disregard for human rights. However, centuries of totalitarianism have also inured them to these realities.
Recent restrictions on public assembly and social media have only confirmed that Russia is not a country in which to rebel. It is not a country where the average person discusses critical political views — not because they don’t have any, but because they know they don’t matter.
If all else fails, tell us you’re a queer vegan transgender polyamorist radical faerie, who spends your free time getting tattooed and running an artisanal tofu business.
Let’s just say alternative lifestyles are not yet acceptable alternatives in Russia. When it comes to social, sexual, and meat-related matters, Russians err on the side of traditionalism, and so it’s advisable to fly your freak flags at half mast. Otherwise, be prepared to defend your beliefs and values at great length. And be prepared to be a little pissed off.
October 12, 2014
Celebrate autumn with these 30 pics
Autumn is my favorite season.
I love the cooler weather and the fact that I can wear jeans and sweaters, I love the bonfires and football games, I love that the breweries take time off from creating IPAs with toxic levels of hops and start churning out Oktoberfests, pumpkin beers, and Märzens, I love the creepy ancient holidays, I love the excuse to read Stephen King books and watch old episodes of Buffy, and, of course, I love the changing of the leaves.
Here are some of the coolest photos I could find of fall.
1
Chlorophyll depends on sunlight, and since the amount of time the sun is up in the winter months is less, the trees stop the production of food, causing the chlorophyll to break down.
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2
The Japanese festival Obon is best known in the West for the lighting of lanterns. There’s a lantern festival in China, but Obon occurs in July or August, while China’s festival occurs in the winter months.
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3
One aspect of fall festivals is that they pay tribute to the last real time of plenty before the oncoming winter.
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Intermission
11 signs this is your first autumn in New York City
by Katka Lapelosa
20 of the world’s most amazing aquariums
by Matt Hershberger
10
40 of the world’s most impressive “second cities”
by Alex Scola
4
The chlorophyll is green in color, but leaves include other colored pigments, too, like yellow and orange pigments, so when the green disappears, the other colors come out.
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5
The horrifyingly named Hungry Ghost Festival, celebrated in China and other East Asian countries, occurs in mid-August, usually.
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6
Leaf peeping is most popular in the US and Canada but also occurs in China, New Zealand, Chile, Argentina, and Japan, as well as a few other spots.
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7
In Korea, the autumn equinox coincides with the harvest festival called Chuseok, which involves visits to ancestral hometowns and sharing a feast with family.
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8
The Indian summer is called several other things around the world. In Baltic states, it’s called an “old ladies' summer,” while in China it’s called an “autumn tiger.”
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9
The word “fall” for autumn comes from where you’d expect—the falling of the leaves. For the most part, it’s no longer used in Britain while it’s still pretty common in the US.
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Intermission
Which of the ‘Big 5′ animals from each continent have you seen?
by Matt Hershberger
25 insanely awesome rock climbing photos
by Matt Hershberger
21 insanely colorful photos of Texas wildflower season
by Hal Amen
10
The intensity of the colors in the fall are a result of the weather and the temperatures earlier in the year.
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11
There may be other chemical changes going on in the leaves at the time, which may cause them to change to other bright colors.
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12
There’s an entire subculture of people who travel to places in the autumn explicitly to see leaves change colors. They’re called “leaf peepers.”
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13
One of the impacts of climate change is that, with the increased amount of CO2 in the atmosphere, trees actually hold onto their leaves longer.
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14
The reason leaves change color in the fall is a breakdown of the chlorophyll that feeds them through the spring and summer months.
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15
In the autumn, the full moon is referred to as a “harvest moon.” This doesn’t refer to the color of the full moon during this season (though it can appear vibrant orange) but instead to its proximity to the time of the traditional harvest.
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Intermission
8
23 kickass vessels and vehicles from science fiction we’d love to travel in
by Alex Scola
33 maps that will show you the world in new ways
by Matt Hershberger
14 things you probably didn’t know about Australia
by Joe Batruny
16
Autumn isn't a worldwide season—it only happens in temperate areas with a winter-spring-summer-fall seasonal progression. Tropical, desert, and polar climates don’t have the same seasons.
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17
For reasons similar to why the leaves fall, autumn's the best time for harvesting many foods. This is why autumn is often associated with foods like apples, squashes, and corn.
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18
Leaves fall no matter where deciduous trees are, including in the tropical world, but these changes aren’t necessarily tied to the same autumn season.
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19
Deciduous trees lose their leaves while evergreens do not. Most conifer trees are evergreens as are many types of oak.
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20
A third type of tree is semi-deciduous. They’re basically deciduous, but they regain their leaves much quicker as they're usually in tropical and subtropical areas.
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21
In China, as part of the mid-autumn festival, people make “mooncakes,” a pastry filled with lotus-seed paste and accompanied with tea.
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22
In Japan, leaf-peeping is referred to as momijigari and tends to focus on the Kyoto area.
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23
An unusual festival, the EU’s “In Town, Without My Car!” holiday, celebrated in autumn, is an attempt to encourage citizens to use more environmentally friendly means of transport than the car.
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24
One of the more famous autumn holidays is, of course, Halloween, thought to have started as a Christian festival honoring the dead.
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25
On November 5, the English celebrate Bonfire Night, commemorating the failed attack on the British Parliament during the Gunpowder Plot.
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26
It’s fairly common for fall festivals to be centered on death or on remembrance, likely because of the senescence or hibernation of so many plants and animals in the season.
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27
While Halloween is a traditional autumn festival, in the US Thanksgiving is the closer equivalent to a harvest festival.
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28
In the British Isles, there are many old festivals that are similar to Halloween: the Celtic festival Samhain, the Manx Hop-tu-Naa, the Welsh Calan Gaeaf, and the Cornish Kalan Gwav.
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29
While the US Thanksgiving has its own mythology, the tradition of giving thanks for a successful harvest is much older than the story of the Pilgrims and the Native Americans.
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30
In Nazi Germany, on top of the Harvest Festival in September and Reformation Day for Protestants in October, there was November’s Beer Hall Putsch Day, commemorating Hitler’s failed coup. Jewish Germans were banned from the streets on national holidays.
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October 11, 2014
Misconceptions about climate change
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CLIMATE CHANGE IS NOT SYNONYMOUS with global warming, although the latter is definitely a part of the former. These terms are often mixed up, or misinterpreted, which is why I enjoyed this educational video by Veritasium — it put a lot of these issues into terms I could understand, through playful banter and “debate.” You’ll be more illuminated about how climate change is caused after watching this video, as well as how our world is really affected by it, and why it’s such a big deal (hint: we’re going to see more storms, more droughts, and not have enough money to help fix the damage). 
How to piss off a Norwegian
Photo: Lars Kristian Flem
Suggest Sweden is better.
Or Denmark. Or Finland. But especially Sweden. We see our welfare system as absolutely perfect; and we’re better than them at sports and just about everything else. To the average Norwegian, the best thing about Sweden is lower prices on cigarettes, alcohol, and candy. Challenge this truth and you will provoke strong reactions. Be aware that saying the opposite in Sweden will lead to either a very good laugh or even more anger.
Make eye contact.
You’ll find this situation on trains, in buses, anywhere in public really. Everyone is staring in a slightly different direction. This is because we like to avoid eye contact. In fact, a total stranger making eye contact will often be regarded by a Norwegian as a threat to his or her existence and treated thusly. This sometimes leads to absurd situations where the last arrivals on a stuffed bus will have to start playing with their cellphones because every single field of view available to them overlaps with somebody else’s.
Show up late for anything.
There is probably only one people in the world that cares more about punctuality than the Scandinavians, and that people is the Germans. Showing up late for anything more formal than a family party is considered a grave offense. And don’t even think about showing up early unless you want to do the host’s work.
Build something in our backyard.
Norwegians in particular have a firm belief that immediate access to nature is a human right. Basically, wherever you are in Norway, if you look in the right direction, you will see a forest. And even if we don’t all use it, the fact that it’s there is vitally important. This occasionally leads to roads having to take mile-long detours every time they come within the same postal code as a forest so as not to impede access for the 50 people living in the nearest village. Also, skyscraper construction in Oslo has been impossible for several years because it might obscure a couple people’s view of the woods.
Sit down beside a complete stranger on public transport when there are other seats available.
If there are unoccupied banks of seats available on a bus, you use one of them. It’s that simple. A common joke involves a Norwegian and an Indian being the only passengers on a bus: the Indian, not used to having elbow room on any form of public transport, thinks the Norwegian is lonely and decides to sit down beside him. Awkward hilarity ensues. And in the unfortunate event that you have to sit next to a stranger, under no circumstances should you talk to him/her.
Speak negatively about the King.
A lot of Norwegians are passive republicans. But nobody dislikes the King. Nobody can think of anything negative to say about the King, actually. His father, King Olav, was known to say “I have 4.5 million bodyguards.” Because nobody has anything negative to say about him, all criticism of the King will be taken personally — as if you just insulted someone’s father. Politicians, however, are fair game.
Laugh at our favorite sports.
We are, like the US, one of the world’s greatest sporting nations…at sports nobody cares about. Where the US has baseball and American football, we have cross-country skiing, orienteering, and handball. We, however, believe that most of our athletes are known worldwide. And never mind that our football team was beaten by f*cking Moldova! We don’t care about the fact that “we beat you at handball” will likely draw a blank stare in Brazil.
Draw attention to our dialects.
Most Norwegians speak in a particular dialect. The dialects were formed as a result of Norway consisting of about a million different little valleys with very little contact with each other. In some regions, two people who live one kilometer down the road from each other speak comically different dialects. The dialects divide people into two camps: those who worship their dialect, and those who wish they spoke a different dialect. Tell the wrong person the wrong thing, and they will actually get angry at you.
Dismiss our high cost of living.
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that things here are expensive. In Norway gasoline costs an astounding $9.79 per gallon and prices on meat, alcohol, and tobacco are generally lower in neighboring countries. It’s a time-honored Norwegian tradition to drive to Sweden a few times a year to stock up on…well, everything. So high prices are a fact of life — and we love to gripe about them. The Minister of Agriculture has even declared a war on high food prices.
Occasionally, someone tries to point out that we also have ridiculously high incomes. The average worker in Norway has to work for all of 20 minutes to pay for a Big Mac — higher than in the neighboring countries, but still lower than most of the Western world. When this is pointed out to us, we are not amused. Don’t rob us of our favorite gripe!
Suggest we aren’t the only people who can handle the cold.
Nobody knows how to handle cold weather like us! We ski to work if we have to. We cope with four months of darkness, ice and freezing temperatures every year. Nobody knows why our ancestors settled in this place, the most frozen land on Earth…wait, it isn’t? You’re trying to tell me that Siberia is colder? How dare you! 
12 of the best Airbnbs in Stockholm
One
When “Villa Berkle” was built in the 1950s and ’60s, engineer Lars Berkle made sure every detail was attended to. The six-bedroom house is a perfect example of “retro,” from the furniture to the wallpaper. While you may think this makes the house antiquated, it’s far from it—just take a look at the light fixtures and see for yourself. If you feel like getting away, the metro station and bus stops are a short walk away.
Two
This three-bedroom Södermalm apartment is a mix of clean decor and intriguing, colorful art and fixtures, from prints to plants. A three-minute walk from the metro, the apartment’s also a short walk from the boats that’ll whisk visitors off to the archipelago. If you decide to stay at home for the day but crave some sunlight, there’s a balcony to lounge on.
Three
50 meters from Drottninggatan, this apartment looks like it could be straight out of a furniture showroom. Surrounded by shiny steel appliances, dark wood, and well-crafted furnishings, you may feel reluctant to touch anything, but guests have full access to all of it. The hot tub and private terrace aren’t bad places to kick back. Oh, and feel free to give the host a call if you need a dinner suggestion.
Four
One look at this apartment’s refrigerator is sure to pique your interest (or at least your curiosity), and many of the other appliances and fixtures are sure to do the same. At 110 square meters, the apartment has plenty of room for the art that adorns the walls. For those looking to take a stroll, the space is only a 10-minute walk from Stureplan, a major public square.
Five
Found in Vasastan, this 43.5-square-meter apartment isn’t too large, but its character (not to mention the high ceilings) makes up for its size. With a chest instead of a coffee table, Marilyn Monroe prints on the wall, and exposed brick accent walls, the apartment’s sure to keep your eyes wandering. Once you’re done exploring the interior, you can step outside and find yourself just a few minutes from a multitude of attractions.
Six
Sitting on the third floor of a building in Hornstull (referred to by the host as “Stockholm’s answer to Brooklyn”), this apartment has two bedrooms and accommodates four people. In rooms trimmed with colorful art on the walls and equally colorful cabinetry, you’ll find you don’t need to leave the flat to experience the trendy vibe. But when you finally walk outside, you’ll understand the Brooklyn comparison even better.
Seven
A small one-bedroom apartment on the 10th floor gives visitors a bird’s eye view of the city below. For an even better look at the surroundings, you can take a brief elevator ride to the restaurant on the 24th floor (save it for the evening for a visual treat). There are plenty of bars, theaters, restaurants, and more to enjoy nearby if you decide to join the people below.
Eight
This one bedroom, one bathroom home in Saxarfjärden only sleeps four, but it’s unlikely you’ll want anyone other than your significant other with you at this seaside getaway. The cottage is on a island without car access or local transportation, so it’s safe to say you’ll enjoy your alone time. While the clean, minimalistic interior has its merits, let’s not forget why we like this place so much—location, location, location.
Nine
Another seaside listing, only accessible by boat, this house has windows providing impressive views of the natural surroundings. The 95-square-meter rental has a patio on one side and a large terrace on the other, allowing guests to bask in the sun at all times of day. And with a fireplace in the mix, you’re unlikely to get too cold—but, if you should, there’s a sauna you can access to get your sweating in.
Ten
The decor in this Daniel Holmqvist-designed Stockholm loft is chic. With six meters of glass doors opening towards the terrace, you can enjoy the view of the harbor with or without the elements. Making good use of artificial and natural lighting, the apartment’s ambiance can change with the time of day or the flick of a switch. Cold? Not to worry. The floors are heated.
Eleven
Windows cover the living-room walls of this six-bedroom home in the Stockholm archipelago. It isn’t a terrible place to bring the kids with you as there’s a slide, swing, and trampoline available. When you come back in from the great outdoors, there’s a sauna to warm up in. Reminiscent of many homes in the US Pacific Northwest, this home has a loft, portholes, and a small boat ready for your use.
Twelve
Located in Vasastan, this apartment’s a short walk from the popular shopping street Drottninggatan. An open floor plan permits guests in the kitchen and living room to interact without stopping their respective activities (not burning the house down is a plus). There’s a terrace that can be reached through the living room—and the glass doors can be completely opened, ideal for grilling and dining al fresco.
October 10, 2014
Baby elephant nudged to safety
ELEPHANTS ARE ACTUALLY QUITE EMOTIONAL — they are capable of crying, playing, laughing, and storing information in their memory. I love seeing elephants interact like this (preferably in the wild), coming together to help others in their herd. It really warms my heart to see baby Omysha be nudged back to safety at the Zurich Zoo’s Krachan Elephant Park, a new 11,000-square-metre facility created to give these animals conditions more closely resembling their natural environment. Hopefully other zoos will follow suit, and provide large spaces for endangered animals to live happily and safely.
How to piss off a rock climber
Photo: Maria Ly
Give unsolicited beta.
If someone fails multiple times on a climb, sure give them a few clues. But giving a step-by-step “map” to a complete stranger who hasn’t asked for your advice is ridiculous. Personally, I enjoy the exploration, the unknown — deciphering the rock. There are many techniques one can employ to complete a climb and someone’s height, body type, strengths, and weaknesses will dictate their style. Nevertheless, someone yelling advice while I’m gripped out of my mind, 25 feet up on a boulder with no idea where to go is unsolicited beta I’ll take any day.
Leave your trash at the crag.
This is unacceptable. Rock climbing venues are typically areas of stunning beauty (Stoney Point and Riverside Quarry being two exceptions) and soiling it with your garbage is sacrilege. This includes cigarette butts and finger tape. The number of climbers who find no issue with peppering an area with micro-trash is shocking. If you pack it in, don’t be a scumbag, pack it out. At a local climbing area last year, a friend of mine witnessed a girl tossing a beer can into the creek. He yelled at her to pick it up. “But it’s empty,” she said. The only thing empty in this situation was her skull.
Leaving excessive tick marks on the rock is also frowned upon. Please brush them off before you leave. It’s visually unpleasant and perhaps not everyone wants to know where every single hand and foot hold is on the route. Be a steward of the land, be mindful of your impact, and perhaps even leave the area more beautiful than you found it.
Short-rope the leader.
Picture this: You’re attempting to red-point your 5.12 project. You sink your fingers into a gritty crimp, tighten your core, press hard on your right toe, and pull through the delicate crux. Elated, you move onto easier terrain, when all of a sudden the rope goes taught and you’re yanked off the rock. You’ve just been short-roped. Your belayer has failed to feed out enough slack for you to progress. Whether he/she was hungover, distracted by an extremely attractive, spandex-clad individual, or dealing with a kink in the rope, you’re absolutely livid. You had the climb in the bag and now you’re hanging in space, with the lingering burn of failure in your Schwarzenegger-ized forearms.
Lie about sending a climb and/or the style you did it in.
Perhaps nothing makes a climber’s blood boil like a liar. There are no rules as to how one should climb per se, but lying about your style is unforgivable. In pursuit of first ascents, ego undoubtedly comes into play. And throughout the history of modern climbing, there have been many stories of magnificent accomplishments later proven to be false.
The most infamous being Cesare Maestri’s claim that he climbed Cerro Torre in Patagonia in 1959 during terrible weather and in alpine-style (moving quickly using minimal gear). Tragically, his partner Toni Egger was swept away by an avalanche while the two were descending. Egger’s camera and supposed summit photos went along with him.
Many doubted Maestri’s ascent, and he returned to Patagonia in 1970 to silence his critics. This time however, he drilled tons of bolts and created a new line, the Compressor Route. These tactics only intensified his detractor’s doubts and within a few years many leading alpinists were positive that he hadn’t climbed Cerro Torre in 1959. His descriptions of the route simply didn’t match those of others who had attempted it.
More recently, climbers such as the late free-soloist Michael Reardon, alpinist Ueli Steck, and sport climbers Fred Rouhling and Bernabe Fernandez have come under fire for their claimed ascents. By lack of photographic evidence, no upholding track record, or being unable to repeat their feats, these men’s claims have serious detractors in the climbing community. But there may be just as many believers as non-believers. Seemingly impossible climbs can be done given the right conditions and preparations: perfect weather, intense and specific training, proximity to the said route, etc.
Some climbers are liars and some are just ahead of their time. If climbers in the 1960s — with their homemade gear — were told that in the future, a skinny kid from the Czech Republic named Adam Ondra would climb 95 5.14ds and harder before his 22nd birthday, do you think they would have believed it?
“Gang” top-rope a route using the fixed anchors.
A typical sport climbing route will end with two fixed anchors. If you lead the climb and lower off — no problem. But if you and three friends thread your rope through and spend an hour dragging it over the anchors — no bueno. This past August, I spent a fun morning climbing moderate routes on volcanic stone at The Warming Wall in Mammoth Lakes, California. But at the top of one route, I noticed the anchors were almost half way worn through. This is caused by the friction created by excessive top roping.
Someone invested a large amount of time and money to equip this route and their efforts should be respected. The solution: make your own anchor and clean it when you’re finished. Use two opposing quick-draws or use a piece of webbing/cordelette and some locking carabiners. Make sure your anchor is equalized and . . . voila! There you have it. No need to ruin hardware prematurely or leave a potentially fatal situation lying in wait.
Throw a tantrum when you fail (unless you’re Adam Ondra).
Rock climbing is all about having fun. Yes, it can be extremely frustrating falling off that same desperate move dozens of times, but no one wants to hear it. Unless you are an adamantium tendon-ed freak and falling off a V16, there’s really no need to throw your chalk bag into the trees. Yelling profanities at the top of your lungs and making excuses isn’t going to help you either. If you channel that massive amount of energy you waste bitching, you might actually be able to send next go. Remember, the best climber in the world is the one having the most fun.
Be a “spraylord.”
We all know one of these people. Always yammering on about grades, how they flashed this, onsighted that, and how “easy” that V7 is. Let’s face it, grades are so subjective, so specific that besides being used for safety reasons and personal benchmarking, they’re totally useless. As the Finnish bouldering powerhouse Nalle Hukkataival says, “I’m attracted to beautiful and tall lines, not just three really hard moves you can try from the ground.” Some of the hardest climbs in the world are probably awkward, painful, and completely uninspiring (not like I know, just making myself feel better because I’ll never climb them).
There’s no sweeter feeling than jumping on an inspiring, unknown route or boulder problem and climbing it start to finish. No expectations, no anxiety, just climbing. Some of the best boulder problems I’ve ever done were unrated, and that’s how it should be.
How about this rating system: either you can do it, or you can’t. 
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