Matador Network's Blog, page 2181

E.M Forster and travel's dirty side

Photo: Victoria

BEFORE THERE WAS Eat, Pray, Love, Under the Tuscan Sun, A Year in Provence, Enchanted April – and any number of travel narratives about light-skinned people getting in touch with their insides during visits to lands of dark-skinned people — there was E. M. Forster.

It’s debatable whether the author of classics like Where Angels Fear to Tread and A Room with a View invented the above genre, but it’s safe to say that his romantic vision of self-transformation through travel is still being reckoned with today.

So it may come as no surprise that in his own life, E. M. Forster underwent a similar voyage of self-discovery while abroad from his native England. In the recent novel Arctic Summer, author Damon Galgut creates a fictional biography of the great British novelist, who like a character from a novel, gets out of town to find himself. What Forster actually finds, however, is somewhat grittier and grimier than what a reader might find in a Forster novel.

In E. M. Forster’s first four novels (Angels, Room, the masterpiece Howards End, and the not-so-masterpiece The Longest Journey, which unfortunately lives down to its name), sex and violence are present but not visceral. Characters die at the stroke of a pen rather than the end of a bloody sword. When sex occurs, it’s confusingly offstage; blink, and you’ll miss it.

In fact, the wonderful New Zealand story writer Katherine Mansfield memorably quipped about Howards End that she could never be sure as to whether a main character was impregnated by a man or by his lost umbrella. “All things considered,” she concluded, “I think it must have been the umbrella.”

More than a decade passed between Howards End and Forster’s next published novel, A Passage to India, boldly colorful, sensual, mystical, violent, and vital. Suddenly Forster’s characters fully inhabit their bodies, which get pierced by thorns, feel sticky with sweat from the tropical heat, even experience twinges of sexual desire.

What can account for this dramatic change of style and scope? If Galgut’s book is any guide, perhaps it’s the fact that Forster, at the ripe old age of 37, finally managed to lose his virginity — by traveling abroad.

It couldn’t have been easy for Forster, who was secretly gay at a time and place where homosexuality was illegal. Indeed, in 1895, when Forster was a teenager, Oscar Wilde was famously convicted of being gay and sentenced to prison with hard labor for what was then the crime of sodomy.

Though Forster was aware of his sexuality and had friends like the writer-philosopher Edward Carpenter who was openly gay, it wasn’t until he went to Egypt that he felt able to do anything about it. Galgut’s novel dramatically portrays the scene in which the great writer experiences sex for the first time, in the form of a blow job with a stranger at the beach of Alexandria.

Afterward, the fictional Forster is described as:

“Crouching down to recover, keeping his head low, he whispered it to himself, not quite believing it was true: “It has happened… It has happened.” He was thirty-seven years old.”

Galgut’s novel then dramatizes how Forster goes on to have a romantic affair with an Egyptian tram conductor as well as a sexual relationship with a servant while Forster works for a local maharajah in India.

It’s always dangerous to read fiction biographically, yet Galgut’s book makes a persuasive case that if Forster had not traveled to Egypt and India, he might never have actually acted upon the secret he kept hidden from the public all his life, nor would he have been capable of writing A Passage to India. And in Galgut’s hands, Forster’s expression of his sexuality is nothing as mystical or romantic as the lovely swoon in A Room with a View. Galgut ably portrays some of the seamy side of Forster’s relationships, like the inherent power and economic imbalances between him and his native partners. In addition, Galgut describes Forster as a clumsy lover, a clumsiness that mirrors the clumsiness with which Forster often wrote about sexual subjects.

And yet, for all its attention to realism, Galgut’s writing can at times feel a bit leaden, a bit too bound by facts on the ground, even for a book with a “true” subject. Forster’s style and his books have their flaws, but they also have the power to inspire and provoke, as A Room with a View, Howards End, and A Passage to India still do to this day. Ultimately, Galgut’s novel, well-done as it is, feels more like a skillful exercise in revisionism rather than a great work of art.

I wouldn’t want to have lived Forster’s life. But I wouldn’t mind being able to write a novel half as brilliant as his best works.

What your drink order really means

(via)

Forget your haircut, the clothes you’re wearing, and your body language; believe it or not, your bartender can tell everything about you by what you order at the bar. Here is what your drink order says about you (according to your bartender):

Goose & Cranberry (or Red Bull): You don’t know what you’re doing.

Whiskey, neat: You’re hot.

Jäger Bombs: If you are a male, you miss your frat boys. If you are a female, you have low self-esteem that can only be appeased by sex with a stranger.

Old-Fashioned: You recognize the value in hard work, and hold the reward for that hard work in high regard.

Bailey’s on the rocks: You still live at home with your parents.

Moscato: You’re just ordering this ‘cause you heard it in a Drake song (p.s. it is a sweet Italian wine).

Bacardi 151 for a friends: You’re a dick.

Bacardi 151 for yourself: There’s something wrong with you.

Demand something free: You are with a group of squealing girls wearing tiaras and/or matching shirts and will tip poorly (if at all).

Long Island Iced Tea: Your ID is fake and you are here to get white-girl wasted.

Apple-Tini: You hate the taste of alcohol.

Whatever’s cheap: (In my head: you!). This is an sign that you won’t be tipping either.

Jameson: You know what you’re doing.

Cosmopolitan: You’re aging, lack imagination, and have watched too much SATC.

White Russian: You have never worked in a bar before, so you have a fool-hearted confidence that the milk in the cooler is not expired.

Shot of well Tequila: You are emotionally unstable.

Don Julio on the rocks: You too know what you’re doing.

Patron Margarita: You wish to spend $15 on a drink that will taste exactly the same as a $7 drink.

Champagne for everyone: You have too much money and don’t know what to do with it.

Hennessy and Coke: “Can you guys play some rap music?”

PBR: Hipsters don’t tip.

Alize in a snifter: “Oh, you (think you’re) fancy, huh?”

Amaretto sour: You’re a female who never knew what to order, so a bartender made it for you once and now you order it all the time because it’s the only drink you know how to order.

1 Candy Apple, 2 Porn Stars, 1 Sour Jack…: “Are you fucking with me?!” You are the bane of my existence.

Gin & Juice: “Sure buddy, is Snoop Dogg shooting a music video in here that I’m not aware of?”

A Hi-Ball: It’s your first time in a bar, you heard they were on special, but you have no idea what a hi-ball is. But you still ask the bartender for a “Hi-Ball.”

Caesar: You’re hungover.

Bottle of Rosé: You cry during sex.

Compiled by Lisa Millar-Jones from the bartenders at Caprice Nightclub and republished by permission.

Story behind the shot: Petra, Jordan

Photo by author.

After a long day of getting repeatedly lost, we arrived at Petra’s largest monument, The Monastery. It was already getting dark and we had been warned to exit the park before sundown. A Bedouin man approached us, and pointed to a higher mound in the distance.

“It is the best view in the world,” the Bedouin man said. Entranced by his factual tone, we believed him in that instant. The sky began to turn orange as he led us up to the mound with a couple other Bedouin men. He was right. It was too spectacular for words to describe.

As we excitedly took photos and shot video, my gaze turned for a second to one of the Bedouin men who sat down and stared at the sunset. For a second I thought I could see in his expression the same wonderment we were feeling — as if he was seeing it for the first time like us. Whilst we were astounded, he was tranquil. Perhaps he was looking further than we were. Then he stood up and turned to one of their camels, stroking it gently.The sun set gloriously behind them, leaving the Rose City and its surrounding empire black, silent, and still.

5 lies about moving to the Bronx

Photo: Jason Eppink

1. I’m not tough enough for the Bronx.

Al Pacino once said “I don’t need bodyguards. I’m from the South Bronx.” The Bronx has long had a reputation as being a tough place to live. The poorest of New York City’s five boroughs, the Bronx has struggled to change the image it earned during the tumultuous 1960s and 70s, when the Bronx burned with arson fires, violent crime, and unchecked poverty sent middle class families into flight.

With the image of the scorched Bronx seared in my mind, I questioned how a scared, working-class white guy from Staten Island was going to survive in this unforgiving urban jungle. Was I tough enough to live in a borough that doesn’t even have a Whole Foods?

Now it’s 2014, and the fires have long since burned out. Far from being the poster child for failed cities, the Bronx is once again enjoying an economic revival. The Bronx is home to working-class people who are priced out of other boroughs. It’s home to enclaves of West Indian, Irish, Italian, and Dominican immigrants.

I had it wrong; it’s not the crime and poverty that makes people from the Bronx tough. As De Niro put it in A Bronx Tale, “It don’t take much strength to pull a trigger. But try to get up every morning day after day and work for a living. Then we’ll see who’s the real tough guy. The working man is a tough guy.” That’s what it means to be Bronx tough.

2. At least there are plenty of subway lines.

You won’t need a car! The Bronx is connected to Manhattan by six subway lines, and most lines originate in the Bronx, you think. So if you are lucky enough to be at the start of the line, you will almost always get a seat. Weekdays the trains are pretty reliable, and you can easily get where you are going — so long as your destination is in Manhattan or Brooklyn. Forget about using the subway to cross the Bronx, or to easily get from the eastside to the westside of Manhattan on one train. Also, don’t make plans on the weekend before checking to see if you train line has been shut down for the entire weekend for “scheduled maintenance.”

On second thought, keep the car. The Bronx is the only one of New York City’s five boroughs that is not an island, which makes it the easiest place to use your car to escape the zombie apocalypse.

3. My “City” friends will still come to visit me.

No, they won’t.

Most “New Yorkers” are not even really from New York, and they consider “The City” to be Manhattan, mostly below 72nd Street. Ask your friends to travel to the Bronx for a trip that does not include the Bronx Zoo or the New York Botanical Garden, and you may as well have asked them to visit you in Canada.

Although you’ve discovered that the Bronx does not live up to its scary reputation, your friends are still not going to be convinced. Tell them the subway ride from Atlantic Avenue to your house will take less than 90 minutes, and you’ve really screwed yourself out of friends. The truth is you are no more willing than they are to spend that much time on the filthy subway on your day off. So get a cute dog instead and you will make lots of new friends.

4. I’ll never find an apartment like my old one.

No, you won’t — and that’s a good thing. You’ve moved to the Bronx because you are tired of sharing a 600-square-foot apartment in Murray Hill for $2,200/month.

Unlike some of the other boroughs, you can still find affordable, good-sized, they-just-don’t-build-them-like-that-anymore apartments here. World-class examples of original art deco buildings line the a triumphant old-world boulevard known as the Gran Concourse. You can even choose to rent a house.

In the Bronx, tough, working-class people can still dream of buying a home — just maybe not one of the multi-million dollar homes in Fieldston. This is still New York City, and the housing costs are still too high, but you can at least live here and still feed yourself, and maybe even afford some furniture.

5. I’m never leaving my apartment.

You will. This is still New York City, and every corner of New York has a vibe that’s all its own. If you kept your car, you could visit City Island with its New England fishing-village feel and its numerous seafood restaurants. You will discover who makes the best jerk chicken in Wakefield. You will discover Free Saturday Mornings at Wave Hill, a small botanical garden in the heart of Riverdale with unparalleled views of the Hudson River. You will dine at a restaurant on Arthur Avenue — the real Little Italy.

There are over 7,000 acres of parkland in the Bronx, including the largest park in New York City, Pelham Bay Park. There is even a beach in the Bronx. You might even jump on your bike and join the annual Tour de Bronx, a 40-mile biking event across the borough. There are theaters, museums, green markets, cricket pitches. Hell, we even have a baseball team here.

The Bronx is dynamic, energized, and ready to be rediscovered. It’s gone through some rough patches in its life, but its wounds have given it character. The Bronx of today is a place for real New Yorkers, who to get up every morning, day after day, and work for a living.

What Aussies can learn from Kiwis

Photo: studio tdes

1. Be yourself, humbly

Plain and simple, nobody likes arrogance, Australia. You may be way bigger than New Zealand, but that doesn’t make you better by any means. Take a good look in the mirror; it’s not like you’re China or America or some other powerhouse country. You’re still an island in the middle of nowhere just like your friends down south, so learn to embrace it. Despite your penal-colony upbringing, you’re not a country full of convicts anymore, so take a page from the Kiwis’ book and handle your national pride with poise.

2. The definition of good wine

Australia might boast a great label here and there and might export a lot, but no one can deny the true magic that is New Zealand wine. The lush terrain and conditions of New Zealand simply lend themselves better to growing grapes than the dry desert outback. So, Aussies, pick wisely next time you’re pairing a red with your kangaroo steak. Unless you’re just using it to cook with, then, by all means buy local.

3. Inclusion and preservation of native culture

While both countries share their land with indigenous populations, New Zealand’s inclusive approach to the Māori is clearly superior to the Australian relations with the Aboriginal. From the traditional Haka (Māori war dance) performed before rugby matches to Māori being an official national language taught in schools and used in public media, the Kiwis’ have managed to maintain the native culture of their country much better than Australia.

4. The true origin of the sandal

Although the rubber-soled sandal goes by many names around the globe, the great debate between “thong” and “jandal” must be awarded to New Zealand. In 1957, a Kiwi businessman actually had the idea for today’s flip-flop after seeing the wooden sandals worn in Japan. Thus the jandal was born: japanese + sandal = jandal. Don’t think we can really argue with the inventor…

5. Proper meat pie mania

The Aussies and Kiwis cling to the meat pie as their own, but Australia does not seem to represent this delicious snack to quite the same degree. It is the official New Zealand national dish, and Kiwis eat about three more pies per year than their Aussie counterparts. Alas, the real tiebreaker? In New Zealand, you can order a meat pie straight off the McDonald’s menu. A little behind on that one, Australia.

6. How to read punctuation

Aussies can learn a thing or two about proper English from the Kiwis. New Zealanders might have a problem pronouncing their “i” and “e” leading to some hilarious misunderstandings (i.e., six vs. sex), but at least every sentence doesn’t magically transform into a question. If you’ve ever carried on a conversation with an Australian, you know the exact end-of-sentence-upswing I’m talking about. I’ll have two? Well, will you or won’t you?

7. Deadly animals are, well, deadly

The rest of the world definitely loves visiting these two islands, but do tourists love the constant, looming threat of death? Sure, they want pretty landscapes, but New Zealand provides those without the most venomous and lethal animals on the planet. Australia really can’t compete with the Kiwis when it comes to safety in nature. There are no poisonous snakes in New Zealand, just fyi…

8. The “cold” will not kill you (unlike your wildlife)

In fact, if cooler temperatures are the price to pay for such an EPIC landscape, bring them on! Swimming in 12°C is absolutely worth it with the unmatched beauty of the mountains engulfing you. Not to mention the benefit of snow! It sure makes skiing a lot more enjoyable. And remember that remarkable wine? It’s all thanks to the “cold” that’s unbearable to so many Aussies. Two words: man up.

9. How to play rugby

Speaking of manning up, the last time the Aussie national rugby union team defeated the Kiwi team for the annual Bledisloe Cup was in 2002. Twelve years ago! And a Google search will showcase that winning seems to be the trend for New Zealand. This is one sport the Kiwis hands-down know how to dominate.

10. The taste of delicious oysters and seafood.

When your entire country is basically a strip of coastline, it is hard to get seafood wrong. What might be considered a prime piece of Whiting in Australia would be scoffed at and turned into processed cat food in New Zealand. Just try some of their fresh oysters. There is no competition.

11. What it means to be born somewhere

Yes, Lorde, Kimbra, and Crowded House are all from New Zealand, not Australia. Although outsiders might not be able to tell the difference between a Kiwi and an Aussie right away, that doesn’t make it okay to take ownership of celebrities that aren’t yours, Australia. Stop being a hog and let New Zealand share some limelight. After all, Russell Crowe is theirs, and I think we can all appreciate that contribution.

In Jordan, bring a bible.

Photo: Hubert Stoffels

IF YOU ARE INTERESTED in traveling to the Middle East but aren’t sure where to begin, kick-start your trip through the holy land in Jordan. With its welcoming people, small size, and manageable number of sacred sites, Jordan is the place to go biblical.

Mt. Nebo.

Start at piney Mt. Nebo, where Moses first beheld the Promised Land of the Canaanites. In the valley below, Jerusalem’s golden dome (the Temple of the Rock) and the salty white shores of the Dead Sea glisten in the sun like the North Star did for the Three Magi.

If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the babbling brooks of milk and honey, the tumbling of the walls in neighboring Jericho, and the history echoing through the quilted valley below (Deuteronomy 32:49-50).

Bethany beyond the Jordan.

Down by the banks of the muddy Jordan River lies Bethany beyond the Jordan. Amidst the wispy tamarisk, willow, and poplars trees, Jesus was baptized here in this once mighty river by his closest friend and companion, John the Baptist (Matthew 3:13). If you R.S.V.P. and B.Y.O. Priest you can be baptized here too.

John the Baptist loses his head.

Heading south, you’ll soon be rewarded with breathtaking views of the crystalline waters from the lowest point on earth: the Dead Sea. From its sodium-encrusted shoreline, the windswept hills undulate towards the heavens.

Between heaven and hell, at the sleepy shepherd’s village of Mukawir, Herod the Great’s castle ruins perch precariously atop a 700m hillock.

This is where Herod Antipas, Herod the Great’s successor, had the head of John the Baptist served up on a silver platter at the request of the legendary seductress Salome, his niece and step-daughter (Matthew 14:9-12).

Sodom & Gomorrah.

The further south you go, the more scandalous the stories become. Towards the Nabataean ruins of Petra, not far from the village of Safi, you’ll find Lot’s Cave. Lot and his two daughters took refuge here from the fire and brimstone that destroyed the original sin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

While no remains of Lot or his daughters were ever found, not far from the cave stands a pillar of salt that many believe to be what’s left of Lot’s wife. By disobeying the warnings of the angels to not look back at the razing of her beloved twin cities she was sodium-ized for all eternity (Genesis 19:30).

The cooler, older brother of Moses.

Within hiking distance from Petra, amidst the iron-stained sandstone of Wadi Musa (the well of Moses) is Jebel Haroun. On top of this mount — revered by Muslims and Christians alike — is the tomb of Aaron, Moses’ cooler, older brother.

Pay homage here to the man described in the book of Exodus, and later popularized in church camp songs, as the one who dared to say “Pharaoh, pharaoh, hey-ho, let my people go…”

This article was originally published on July 10th, 2009.

18 classic Eurail experiences

Photo: Felix Montino

1. Losing all sense of privacy and personal space

You never would have guessed just how comfortably you can fit ten people in a six-person seating compartment. Yes, you had that Spanish guy’s foot in your face all night, but you were able to get in some solid sleep before arriving bleary-eyed and mussed-haired in Port Bou at 5 in the morning. Just another night riding the rails of Europe.

2. Waking up in the middle of the night and wondering what country you were in

You didn’t typically need to flash your passport when crossing borders, or you just left it on top of your bag while you slept so the immigration guys could stamp it and leave you in peace. So, those forested mountains out the window, shining in the moonlight…Germany? Belgium?

3. Covering nowhere near as much territory as you thought you would

Okay, so we’ll start in Madrid, head up to Amsterdam, drop down through Prague and Venice, catch the ferry to Greece… But then it was already two weeks into your four and you were having way too much fun hopping from town to town through the Basque country and you realized — maybe it’ll just be Spain and France on this trip.

4. Feeling empowered, capable, and independent like you never had before

Who figured out that the fastest way to get to Ljubljana was to actually travel backward an hour so you could catch the overnight express from Munich? You did. Who made sure your entire group was awake and at the station to catch the 03.23 to Kosice? You again. Especially if you were fresh out of high school, or if this was simply your first trip abroad, acting as your own Eurail-wielding travel agent showed you a side of yourself your parents doubted existed.

5. Having an enlightening geopolitical discussion with a group of total strangers

Wait, not everyone loves America? Who knew!? But somehow that motley collection of Indian, Argentine, German, and Ukrainian backpackers still managed to let you down gently.

6. Getting so used to sleeping on the floor of a moving train that a nice hotel bed felt weird

You high-fived your friends when, after walking nearly the entire length of the train and finding no seats, you came to a utility car with no one in it and space for all of you to lay out your sleeping bags on the floor. Who needs a mattress or pillow mints? You’re a Eurail superstar.

7. Playing way too much poker

That dog-eared pack of cards was your go-to entertainment option when conversation, window gazing, and dining-car booze wore thin. To this day, every hand of Texas hold ‘em reminds you of that cute Danish girl you taught how to play, and then proceeded to let win all night.

8. Never getting over the fact that you could travel 20 minutes down the line to Zagreb, or three days west to Lisbon, and it would cost the exact same

That’s why you bought the Eurail pass in the first place — you won’t get the same flexibility for that price from any other mode of traveling the continent.

9. Learning the most wildly inappropriate profanities in all the languages of Europe

Cultural exchange runs rampant on European trains, language learning included. Unfortunately, you’ll never be able to use any of those four-letter Gaelic words your new best friend Fearghal taught you that one night after your second bottle of wine.

10. Laughing at other American tourists

The loud-talker from Des Moines who wouldn’t stop going on about how much her boyfriend probably missed her. Those kids from Colby with the Phish shirts and Visine. The New York high-schooler who got separated from his buddies when the train doors closed and made a move to pull the emergency stop lever, before being shouted down by everyone else in the passenger car. Yeah, you were so much cooler than them.

11. Developing regional stereotypes based on how people behaved on your train

Man, that group of 30 Italians was rowdy. Do all Australians drink so much? You never knew Koreans were so selfish that they wouldn’t share their seating compartment when there was clearly enough room for two more.

12. Feeling completely clueless about the whole reservation thing

You thought you’d scored the perfect reclining seat on the night train to Paris, until that German businessman calmly informed you it was in fact his, bought and paid for. He had a reservation. Reservation? With a Eurail pass, wasn’t the entire train fair game? You’ve heard enough similar stories from fellow Eurailers over the years that the new reservation booking service from Eurail.com seems like a no-brainer.

13. Becoming an expert in the geography of tiny Austrian mountain towns

Kitzbühel is east of Wörgl and just a ten-minute train ride from Mittersill. It’s also the home of what you still consider the best fondue you’ve ever eaten.

14. Discovering that trains and epic tequila hangovers do not mix

Seriously, if you had it to do over again, you’d unroll your bag and sleep it off there on the platform. Holding yourself over an Italian train toilet somewhere between Viareggio and La Spezia, regretting every euro you spent on that bottle of Sauza, was probably the low point of your trip.

15. Wondering why there are people in the world who don’t use the 24-hour clock

When that train you have to catch is scheduled to depart the station at 6 o’clock, you don’t want to have to deal with AMs and PMs, evenings or mornings. Just tell me 6:00 or 18:00, dammit! The same should go for life in the US.

16. Meeting between cars for a clandestine hookup / drink / smoke

Not because you had any real privacy there. There was just something about those noisy, unstable spaces, where you could feel the power of the train most intimately, that encouraged the loss of inhibitions. A kind of rail-bound international waters. Good times.

17. Forgoing entire countries because they weren’t part of the network

Depending on when your formative Eurail experience occurred, there were certain countries in which your magic pass wasn’t accepted. Fine — Denmark, Czech Republic, Bulgaria? Who needs ‘em! Fortunately, in the intervening years each of these places, and many more, have jumped on the bandwagon. The Eurail Global Pass now gives you access to 24 countries.

18. Coming to life-altering epiphanies about quitting your job / dumping your boyfriend / transferring colleges / etc

It’s not about whether you followed through once you got home. It’s about the feeling you had when you were there. And if you actually did follow through — cheers! Your Eurail trip made you the person you are today. I know it did for me.

This post is proudly produced in partnership with our friends at Eurail.

What people say if you're from Ohio

Photo: qwz

1. “I flew over Ohio once.”

Let’s get this out of the way: if you’re the type of person who calls certain states “flyover states,” you’re a boring person. Sure, there are places with beaches and mountains, and those places are all really cool, but everyone who does not suck knows that a great city or state is built on its people and not its scenery. Have you been to London or Paris? You don’t go there for the natural scenery. They’re both in relatively boring areas. But the cities are awesome because the people there built something cool.

Put out some effort. Find the cool spots in every place you’re visiting. I swear they’re there — especially in Ohio. As the great ’90s bard Harvey Danger said, “If you’re bored then you’re boring.”

2. “I’m sorry.”

Oh? And you’re from where? LA? Yeah, how does it feel having spent a quarter of your life in traffic? Or New York? I’ll bet it was wonderful not seeing an open field until you were 18 and were driving to college for the first time. Unless your apology is for giving the world Donald Trump, then I have no interest in accepting it.

To be fair, I complain about my home state a lot. But it’s Mom complaining. Which means I can do it, you can’t.

3. “I drove through Ohio. There’s a lot of corn there.”

Yeah, I actually can’t argue with you on that one. I actually had a guy once say to me, “Aren’t you guys the potato state?” No. No we are not. That is Idaho, and it is not even remotely close to us.

More like this: 15 things the rest of America can learn from Ohio


4. “Ugh. Cleveland’s like a less impressive Detroit.”

Ouch. What is it with kicking struggling cities while they’re down? Detroit gets crapped on all the time, and shitty comments about Rust Belt cities that are trying to reinvent themselves seems kinda unnecessary given how much they need to do to recover from the recession in the first place.

And also, Cleveland has actually bounced back from the recession pretty solidly. Also, there’s the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame there, so it beats Detroit on that alone.

5. “Hey, thanks a lot for Bush / Obama.”

Ah, to live in a non-swing state where you can simply blame the state of your country on Ohio and Florida. First off, it’s no treat being in a swing state — you can’t turn on the TV within six months of a presidential election without seeing some horrible attack ad — and second, if you knew anything about politics, you’d know it’s the holdouts who get all those wonderful, bribey favors and promises from candidates. Sorry, Texas and California, no president’s ever gonna pay that much attention to you. You’re gonna have to move to Iowa or Ohio if you want your baby kissed.

6. “Did they try and teach you creationism in school?”

No, we’re not Mississippi. There are a lot of religious folk in the state of Ohio, but most of them are the friendly, “Hey, come to our church luncheon!” type and not the fire-and-brimstone Fred Phelps type. My high school science teacher brought up the creationism debate in class for 2 minutes one day, explained what it was, and then said, “But I teach science, so we’re just gonna skip over all that.”

7. “All those astronauts! What is it about your state that makes people wanna flee the planet?”

Ha! I bet you get all your jokes from bumper stickers. The reason so many of the great American astronauts (John Glenn, Neil Armstrong, Jim Lovell) are from Ohio is because Ohio is the birthplace of aviation. The Wright brothers grew up in Dayton and built the first plane there, and now Dayton is home to the Wright Patterson Air Force Base. So as much as I’d like to say that Ohioans are the hardy, intrepid, pioneering type, in reality we probably just have a lot of astronauts because the company was based in the neighborhood.

How to cope in a travel misadventure

Photo: Daniel Foster

1.Stay calm and accept the situation.

If you’ve ever missed a flight, boarded the wrong train, spent two days in bed from food poisoning, or paid a large chunk of money for a vacation package that turned out to be a scam, then you’re familiar with feelings of panic and extreme anger. (It’s also likely you have a generous handful of swear words reserved for these very occasions, probably in a couple different languages, too.)

The first thing you need to do when you’re faced with a travel-related issue (after the swearing, of course) is to remind yourself to choose to react calmly. Close your eyes for a moment and breathe. Don’t waste time declaring yourself stupid or naïve. Don’t waste time blaming the train guards or the weather or the charming Brazilian man who swindled you out of nearly a quarter of your funds. Instead, accept the situation. The sooner you calmly confront the problem, the sooner you can see how to move forward.

2. Take one step at a time.

So someone hijacked your wallet while you were admiring the pigeons at Trafalgar Square. You have zero extra cash, no emergency credit cards, and no pre-paid place to stay. At the time, it feels like there are a hundred tedious steps you need to take to remedy the situation. You feel so daunted and overwhelmed that after five minutes of tears and contemplating the worst-case scenario, you resign yourself to sleeping on the street. Instead of ticking all at once through everything you have to do, don’t look too far ahead. Deal with one action at a time. Step one: find a phone. Check. Step two: call your bank and cancel your credit card. Check. Continue to move on, one manageable task at a time.

3. Ask for help.

When you’re bumbling around the streets of Buenos Aires at night feeling lost and panicked, when you’re seasick on the ferry to Mykonos, when you crash the bike you rented in Barcelona, look around you and reach out for help. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or incompetent, it simply means you are human and you could use some assistance. It’s okay. Don’t be afraid to share your predicament and ask for a helping hand or for advice. People are far kinder than we often give them credit for.

4. Laugh about it.

It’s true that death, injury, and devastation don’t generally make for amusing stories. But it’s also true that many hilarious tales stem from wayward adventures. If you can find any shade of irony or humor in your travel dilemmas, laugh about them. Acknowledge the absurdity in losing every pair of underwear you packed to the strong Provençal breeze that shook the clotheslines they were hanging on. The very act of laughing will ease your tension and put the situation in perspective.

5. Let go of what you cannot control.

The majority of circumstances during travel are far beyond our control: delayed flights, public transportation strikes, natural disasters, irritating hostel roommates. When you find yourself in an uncontrollable situation, surrender to it. Instead of obsessing over how your delayed flight to Istanbul will push back your entire itinerary by 14 hours, pick up a book, have a conversation, and learn how to enjoy yourself while you wait.

6. Refocus your energy.

It’s normal to feel distraught and frustrated when travel expectations don’t align with reality. Maybe you’re suffering from heartbreak after parting ways with the free-spirited Colombian you met and backpacked Southeast Asia with. Take some time to be sad, but don’t dwell in imagining what could have been. Refocus your energy elsewhere — try something you’ve never done before, help a friend or stranger in need, learn a new skill, or plan your next trip. Redirect the energy you might have spent on self pity toward a more positive and productive endeavor.

7. Find the value in your experiences.

Every travel experience you have ever had and will ever have is inherently valuable. The tricky part is learning to recognize this value in the midst of difficulty. When you lose your passport and long-stay visa in France one week before you’re scheduled to leave, your first reaction might be to be upset that you have to travel alone to Paris to apply for a new one at the US Embassy. But because of that experience, you may gain a newfound sense of independence and confidence in your problem-solving skills.

Never regret so-called travel misadventures — each one can teach you something about yourself or show you a new vantage point from which to view the world.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines an adventure as “an unusual and exciting or daring experience.” The essence of any adventure is its imperfection, its position outside the sphere of the ordinary. Learn to recognize the potential for growth and discovery in all your experiences, complicated and full of ‘missteps’ though they are. Trust that the detours you take during your travel journeys are always the best way to get exactly where you need to be.

Sweden's prostitution solution

(via)

While many nations have resigned themselves to the fact that ‘prostitution will always be with us,’ one country’s success stands out as a solitary beacon lighting the way. Sweden has dramatically reduced the number of women involved in prostitution.

In the capital city of Stockholm, the number of women in street prostitution has been reduced by two-thirds, and the number of johns has been reduced by 80%. There are other major Swedish cities where street prostitution has all but disappeared. Gone too, for the most part, are the renowned Swedish brothels and massage parlors which proliferated during the last three decades of the 20th century when prostitution in Sweden was legal.

In addition, the number of foreign women now being trafficked into Sweden for sex is almost nil. The Swedish government estimates that in the last few years only 200 to 400 women and girls have been annually sex trafficked into Sweden, a figure that’s negligible compared to the 15,000 to 17,000 females yearly sex trafficked into neighboring Finland. No other country, nor any other social experiment, has come anywhere near Sweden’s promising results.

By what complex formula has Sweden managed this feat? Amazingly, Sweden’s strategy isn’t complex at all. Its tenets, in fact, seem so simple and so firmly anchored in common sense as to immediately spark the question, “Why hasn’t anyone tried this before?”

Sweden’s groundbreaking 1999 legislation

In 1999, after years of research and study, Sweden passed legislation that a) criminalizes the buying of sex, and b) decriminalizes the selling of sex. The novel rationale behind this legislation is clearly stated in the government’s literature on the law:

“In Sweden prostitution is regarded as an aspect of male violence against women and children. It is officially acknowledged as a form of exploitation of women and children and constitutes a significant social problem… gender equality will remain unattainable so long as men buy, sell and exploit women and children by prostituting them.”

In addition to the two pronged legal strategy, a third and essential element of Sweden’s prostitution legislation provides for ample and comprehensive social service funds aimed at helping any prostitute who wants to get out, and additional funds to educate the public. As such, Sweden’s unique strategy treats prostitution as a form of violence against women in which the men who exploit by buying sex are criminalized, the mostly female prostitutes are treated as victims who need help, and the public is educated in order to counteract the historical male bias that has long stultified thinking on prostitution. To securely anchor their view in firm legal ground, Sweden’s prostitution legislation was passed as part-and-parcel of the country’s 1999 omnibus violence against women legislation.

An early obstacle

Interestingly, despite the country’s extensive planning prior to passing the legislation, the first couple years into this novel project nothing much happened at all. Police made very few arrests of johns and prostitution in Sweden, which had previously been legalized, went on pretty much as it had gone on before. Naysayers the world over responded to the much publicized failure with raucous heckling, “See? Prostitution always has been, and it always will be.”

But eminently secure in the thinking behind their plan, the Swedes paid no heed. They quickly identified, then solved the problem. The hang-up, the place where their best efforts had snagged, was that law enforcement wasn’t doing its part. The police themselves, it was determined, needed in-depth training and orientation to what the Swedish public and legislature already understood profoundly. Prostitution is a form of male violence against women. The exploiter/buyers need to be punished, and the victim/prostitutes need to be helped. The Swedish government put up extensive funds and the country’s police and prosecutors, from the top ranks down to the officer on the beat, were given intensive training and a clear message that the country meant business. It was then that the country quickly began to see the unequaled results.

Today, not only do the Swedish people continue to overwhelming support their country’s approach to prostitution (80% of people in favor according to national opinion polls), but the country’s police and prosecutors have also come around to be among the legislation’s staunchest supporters. Sweden’s law enforcement has found that the prostitution legislation benefits them in dealing with all sex crimes, particularly in enabling them to virtually wipe out the organized crime element that plagues other countries where prostitution has been legalized or regulated.

The failure of legalization and/or regulation strategies

This Swedish experiment is the single, solitary example in a significant-sized population of a prostitution policy that works. In 2003, the Scottish government — looking to revamp its own approach to prostitution — enlisted the University of London to do a comprehensive analysis of outcomes of prostitution policies in other countries. In addition to reviewing Sweden’s program, the researchers chose Australia, Ireland, and the Netherlands to represent various strategies of legalizing and/or regulating prostitution. The researchers did not review the situation where prostitution is criminalized across the board as it is in the US. The outcome of that approach is already well known. The failures and futility of the revolving door of arresting and rearresting prostitutes is all too familiar the world over.

But the outcomes, as revealed in the Univ. of London study, in the states under review that had legalized or regulated prostitution were found to be just as discouraging or even more discouraging than the traditional all round criminalization. In each case the results were dramatic in the negative.

Legalization and/or regulation of prostitution, according to the study, led to:

> A dramatic increase in all facets of the sex industry,

> A dramatic increase in the involvement of organized crime in the sex industry,

> A dramatic increase in child prostitution,

> An explosion in the number of foreign women and girls trafficked into the region, and

> Indications of an increase in violence against women.

In the state of Victoria, Australia, where a system of legalized, regulated brothels was established, there was such an explosion in the number of brothels that it immediately overwhelmed the system’s ability to regulate them, and just as quickly these brothels became a mire of organized crime, corruption, and related crimes. In addition, surveys of the prostitutes working under systems of legalization and regulation find that the prostitutes themselves continue to feel coerced, forced, and unsafe in the business.

A survey of legal prostitutes under the showcase Netherlands legalization policy finds that 79% say they want to get out of the sex business. And though each of the legalization/regulation programs promised help for prostitutes who want to leave prostitution, that help never materialized to any meaningful degree. In contrast, in Sweden the government followed through with ample social services funds to help those prostitutes who wanted to get out. 60% of the prostitutes in Sweden took advantage of the well funded programs and succeeded in exiting prostitution.*

* The full Scottish government report on prostitution policies can be seen at www.scottish.parliament.uk

So why hasn’t anyone tried this before?

Why, then, with Sweden’s success so clearly lighting the way, aren’t others quickly adopting the plan? Well, some are. Both Finland and Norway are on the verge of making the move. And if Scotland takes the advise of its own study, it will go in that direction too. But, the answer to the question of why other countries aren’t jumping to adopt Sweden’s plan is probably the same as the answer to the question of why governments haven’t tried Sweden’s solution before.

In order to see prostitutes as victims of male coercion and violence it requires that a government first switch from seeing prostitution from the male point of view to the female point of view. And most, if not virtually all, countries of the world still see prostitution and every other issue from a predominantly male point of view.

Sweden, in contrast, has led the way in promoting equality for women for a very long time. In 1965, for example, Sweden criminalized rape in marriage. Even by the 1980’s there were states in the United States that still hadn’t made that fundamental recognition of women’s rights to control her own body. The Swedish government also stands out in having the highest proportion of women at all levels of government. In 1999, when Sweden passed its groundbreaking prostitution legislation, the Swedish Parliament was composed of nearly 50% women.

Sweden’s prostitution policy was first designed and lobbied for by Sweden’s organization of women’s shelters and was then fostered and fought for by a bipartisan effort of Sweden’s uniquely powerful and numerous female parliamentarians. Nor has Sweden stopped there. In 2002, Sweden passed additional legislation bolstering the original prostitution legislation. The 2002 Act Prohibiting Human Trafficking for the Purpose of Sexual Exploitation closed some of the loopholes in the earlier legislation and further strengthened the government’s ability to go after the network of persons that surround and support prostitution, such as the recruiters, the transporters, and the hosts.

And why can’t we copy Sweden’s success?

While it’s probably true that the US and other Western countries are still much more steeped in patriarchal darkness than Sweden, there’s no reason we can’t push now for the policy changes that Sweden has made. The beauty of it is that once the ground has been broken and the proof of success has been established, it should be ever much easier to convince others to go down that path.

This post originally appeared on Esnoticia! and is republished here with permission.