Diane Stringam Tolley's Blog: On the Border, page 112
December 17, 2018
The Holiday in the Romance
If one believes the songs they sing, then Love at Christmas, it’s the thing,And all one needs, to happy be, is someone special ‘neath that tree.The mistletoe and wondrous gifts, to give your special one a lift.In cold and snow, the winter walks; by firelight, the special talks, The billing, cooing—sappiness, and plans for future happiness,‘Tis wonderful and sweet, it’s true, when couples start to bill and coo,But tell me just exactly what’s expected after all the glut,Tell me, will the magic stay? Even after Christmas day?It has been done, I’ve heard it said. When planning for the days ahead,If both remember what was great, about those special Christmas dates,And try and keep the magic there together year by year by year!And one last thing before I go, but something about which you should know:"Don't make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain't."
Mondays do get knocked a lot,With poetry, we three besought,To try to make the week beginWith pleasant thoughts--perhaps a grin?So Jenny and Delores, we,Have posted poems for you to see.And now you've seen what we have brought . . .Did we help?Or did we not?
Next week, 'cause Christmas Eve is here,
We'll talk about THAT time of year!
December 16, 2018
Grandpa Edward
Today’s story is a tragedy.As often happened in the early days of the pioneers . . .
I love the stories of my pioneer ancestors.The things they accomplished under often harrowing circumstances. Stories of strength, patience.Perseverance.But their stories very often end tragically--including that of my Great-Great-Great Grandfather, Edward Tuttle.Edward had been a baker in the town of Nauvoo, Illinois.But when (over religious differences) he and his people were driven out in the mid-1840s, they settled in a place called Winter Quarters, Nebraska. Living, at first, in a dugout, they later moved to a small, hastily-finished house with makeshift cupboards on the wall. Cupboards that will play a significant role later . . .In true ‘pioneer’ fashion, they carried on. Edward worked a lot with the livestock. A very necessary skill at a time when your animals could mean your survival.Or something very different . . .You have to know that Bulls (male cattle) can be particularly cantankerous. Living in close proximity with humans, they have more deaths to their credit than grizzly bears.True fact.One day, while he was working with the community’s cattle, Edward was badly gored in the abdomen by a particularly vicious specimen of the breed.Unlike many others who had been similarly injured, he survived.Though in considerable pain, he began to heal. A slow process.One day in mid-August, 1847, while still in a rather delicate condition, Edward insisted on being up and around, though not capable of moving very fast.Remember when I mentioned the cupboards and the fact that they were ‘make-shift’? That becomes significant now . . .One of the cupboards started pulling away from the wall. Instinctively, Edward tried to catch it.His action re-opened his terrible wound.This second injury proved fatal.He was buried there in Winter Quarters on August 17, 1847. I’m grateful for every single one of the men and women who has gone before me.Though often tragic, their experiences are inspiring.I would love to have their strength and perseverance.Though maybe not those actual experiences . . .
Sunday's are for ancestors. Tell me about yours!
I love the stories of my pioneer ancestors.The things they accomplished under often harrowing circumstances. Stories of strength, patience.Perseverance.But their stories very often end tragically--including that of my Great-Great-Great Grandfather, Edward Tuttle.Edward had been a baker in the town of Nauvoo, Illinois.But when (over religious differences) he and his people were driven out in the mid-1840s, they settled in a place called Winter Quarters, Nebraska. Living, at first, in a dugout, they later moved to a small, hastily-finished house with makeshift cupboards on the wall. Cupboards that will play a significant role later . . .In true ‘pioneer’ fashion, they carried on. Edward worked a lot with the livestock. A very necessary skill at a time when your animals could mean your survival.Or something very different . . .You have to know that Bulls (male cattle) can be particularly cantankerous. Living in close proximity with humans, they have more deaths to their credit than grizzly bears.True fact.One day, while he was working with the community’s cattle, Edward was badly gored in the abdomen by a particularly vicious specimen of the breed.Unlike many others who had been similarly injured, he survived.Though in considerable pain, he began to heal. A slow process.One day in mid-August, 1847, while still in a rather delicate condition, Edward insisted on being up and around, though not capable of moving very fast.Remember when I mentioned the cupboards and the fact that they were ‘make-shift’? That becomes significant now . . .One of the cupboards started pulling away from the wall. Instinctively, Edward tried to catch it.His action re-opened his terrible wound.This second injury proved fatal.He was buried there in Winter Quarters on August 17, 1847. I’m grateful for every single one of the men and women who has gone before me.Though often tragic, their experiences are inspiring.I would love to have their strength and perseverance.Though maybe not those actual experiences . . .
Sunday's are for ancestors. Tell me about yours!
December 15, 2018
Expensive. But Cheap
That day.Missing: The pantsMy siblings and I loved to ski.Our Dad had introduced us to it the winter I turned eight and it had become a . . . habit.Well, actually more of a fixation, but we'll go with habit.We went every chance we could get.And scoured the catalogs for new and wonderful accessories for our grand passion.I had just made my first official 'ski' purchase.New ski pants.They were expensive.But gorgeous.Dark brown.Perfect fit.I was going to wow everyone on that hill! I couldn't do it with my skiing. This was the next best thing.I should explain, here, that ski pants in the 60s weren't the stretchable remarkable cloth that we have now.In fact, they were distinctly . . . un-stretchable.Something which will figure largely in my story later.But they had little side zippers at the ankles and dark elastics that slid under your foot.They were nifty (real word).Happily, I donned them and my brother and I were off.Now, I should explain, here, that Big Mountain in Whitefish Montana was a wonderful place to ski.There were numerous slopes.Each with its own particular brand of ski tow.I always chose the expert slope.Not that I could actually ski the expert slope.For two other reasons.It had a ski trail that wound around behind and through the wonderful forest, andThe trail came out at the top of the Intermediate slope, allowing the skier to then ski to the bottom. Oh. And . . .Be comparatively unharmed.It was the best of all worlds.I made my first run to the top of the expert slope.Disembarked. Well, slid off the chairlift into a heap. But to one side, away from the traffic.An important point.I got my limbs more-or-less together and headed for the mouth of the trail.It was stunningly beautiful.The sun was shining.There had just been a fresh fall of snow - over a foot of sparkling, fluffy whiteness blanketed the landscape.I took a deep, satisfying breath of the spicy air, slid onto the trail and for the next 20 minutes, was in heaven.Finally, the trail ended.I slid quickly out onto the slope only to discover that it hadn't yet been touched by . . . anything.It was still in it's pristine, just-been-snowed-on condition.
Breathtakingly beautiful.It took me a few moments to discover that this could also present a problem.
Let me explain . . .The trail I had been on had been fairly packed and my skis were still on that level.They hadn't yet adjusted to the extra foot of fluffy snow.I was sliding along with everything below my knees hidden in the fresh stuff.For a second, it was fun.
Then, it wasn't. I hit something.I never discovered what it was. Rock. Lump of ice. Tree stump. Yesterday's skier.Whatever.It stopped me.Instantly.And I wasn't prepared.My body, already bent forward in my best 'snowplow' position, bent further. In fact, I whacked my forehead painfully on my knees.Something I wish I could do today.But I digress . . .My glasses popped off into the deep snow.Oh, rats.I rubbed my head and scrabbled around in the snow, finally, triumphantly, extracting my glasses.Then I straightened. And felt a draft.Oh-oh.Remember what I had said about my ski pants being not stretchy?This would be where that fact comes into play.When my body had done its 'fold-in-half' trick, it proved to be something my new pants had been completely unprepared for.They split from waistband to waistband, right along the crotch.I was now effectively wearing two pant legs.Held up with a narrow strip of cloth at the top.I definitely needed a longer coat.Or a loincloth.And this was the first run of the day.Sigh.I made the run down the slope as carefully and unobtrusively as possible, then sneaked to the car and my suitcase.The change from my new, albeit flimsy, ski pants to my usual jeans was accomplished in a minimum of time and a maximum of scrambling. In the wide rear seat.I mean the wide rear seat.Not the wide rear seat.Never mind . . .And I was back on the slope.For the first few runs, I carefully peered at people to see if anyone recognized me as the almost-pantless girl who had been on the slope a short time earlier.But, as no one seemed to be paying much attention to me, I finally relaxed.I learned something that day.Expensive can sometimes mean cheap.It just costs more.
December 14, 2018
Left Hanging
The scene. Sigh.It was a Saturday afternoon at the movies.Two sisters happily sitting, munching popcorn and ooh-ing and ah-ing over Ryan Reynolds.What could possibly go wrong?Maybe I should start at the beginning . . . Mom was having a group of friends in for tea and—in her words—a good gossip. Sally and I had been happily internet surfing and largely staying out of Mom’s way.But Mom seemed especially anxious to have us out of the house. Something about really needing some time with women her own age.Weird.So she gave us money and sent us off to the movie.Oh, Sally and I weren’t complaining.Not really.I mean . . . Ryan Reynolds.So we gathered up our coats (it is December) and headed over to the Bijou.Now a word here about our community’s theatre. It’s old.Really old.Built in the late 1800’s for real, live theatrics, it has a genuine stage, thick, velvet curtains, a floor that slopes from back to front and a balcony overhanging the audience for . . . more audience. It is considered the hallowed hall of memory nestled in the quiet center of our sleepy little town.Sometime in the 1920s, some town bright light conceived the notion of opening up a little hole in a rear wall to poke a projector through and the movie industry was born.The old projector is still there, sitting in lonely glory in a far corner, shrouded with a great dust cloth. Whilst the more modern replacement has taken place of importance.I know all this because I used to date the projector man. A beanpole slender boy with a shock of red hair named Billy.The boy is named Billy. Not the hair. I thought I should clarify.Ahem . . .Sooo . . . Saturday. Me and Sally.And Ryan Reynolds.Things were going well.The audience wasn’t huge, but it was enthusiastic. Mostly kids about Sally’s and my age.My sister and I were sitting in our favourite spot—the front of the upper balcony. Where we could survey the people below, haughtily aloof. Well, I was going for haughty aloof-ness.Sally was pretty much just going for the popcorn and the little cylinder of M & M’s that came with her ‘theatre meal’.A couple of Sally’s friends were sitting below us. Just down the row from them, I spotted a couple of Billy’s friends, Tim and Michael. So the girls’ reluctance to come up and sit with us became suddenly apparent.Sally had been munching happily for several minutes, her eyes glued to the screen.“Pssst! Sally!” someone whisper-shouted from below.“Shhhh!” someone else said.Sally leaned forward, still chewing. “Huh?”“Give us some of your M & M’s! My lid wasn’t on and ours fell over and spilled all over the floor!”“Shhh!” someone said again.I shuddered to think of what might be on a floor that had been collecting candy and sodas and who-knows-what-else in its 140-year history. I heard that a group of people studying the building went into the basement and found actual stalactites of solidified sugar (from spilled drinks) hanging beneath the stage. True story.But I digress . . .Eyes still on the screen, Sally reached blindly for her M & M’s and tossed them over the rail.“Hey!” I shouted. “Those were mine!”“Shhh!” someone said.Sally clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oops.” Now you have to know that a normal person would simply acknowledge their mistake and offer to replace. Not Sally. In the next breath, she had launched herself over the balcony after the airborne candies.Now she must have realized, partway over, that it's quite a distance to the main floor. Because somewhere in midflight, she managed to reach out and grab the decorative rail fastened to the outer edge of the balcony.A girl screamed, “Somebody fell out of the balcony!”“Shhh!” someone else said.There was a sudden hubbub as the house lights came on.All eyes were on Sally, hanging from the railing like a limp acrobat on a dead trapeze.I probably don’t have to tell you that, amid people grabbing Sally’s wrists to keep her from falling, the arrival of the local firemen (fortunately, housed immediately next to the Bijou.) and the dragging in of ladders and rescue equipment, the movie pretty much got forgotten.No one seemed to mind.I mean, how can you top that?It was like a scene out of some fantastical storybook.Of course, Sally was forbidden from ever setting foot in the balcony again—something we both knew she’d never obey—and sent home.The two of us arrived in the middle of Mom’s tea party and Sally immediately disappeared.Mom slowly rose to her feet. “What happened?” she asked a bit breathlessly.I started to explain. I could almost see Mom’s gossipy friends’ ears growing longer. Mom noticed it, too. She waved a hand. “Never mind. Just tell Sally I’ll be up later to murder her.”She didn’t. I thought I’d tell you so you wouldn’t worry.Yep. Sally lived . . . to make the front page of the local paper.Again. 
Each month, Karen of Baking in a Tornado collects and then distributes words.And we, her enthusiastic followers, craft something meaningful entertaining ambitious from said words.This month, my words were: acrobat ~ cylinder ~ memory ~ online ~ storybookAnd were submitted by my friend, Rena at https://theblogging911.com/blogWe aren't alone.Zip over and visit the others!
Baking In A Tornado https://bakinginatornado.com/
The Bergham Chronicles https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com
The Blogging 911 https://theblogging911.com/blog
Cognitive Script https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/
Climaxed https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com
Part-Time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/
December 13, 2018
Glossophobia
Future public speaking . . . championsI’ve always been a talker.Always.The word vociferous could be very aptly applied.But, during my formative years, if anyone ever wanted to fill me with absolute, bone-numbing, chill-of-death dread, all one would have to do was say, “Diane, why don’t you stand up and say a few words.”Okay, the ‘saying a few words’, I could handle.The operative/terrifying aspect here was the part where they said, ‘why don’t you stand up’.Because that usually means that, in front of people, one has to STAND UP.Yikes.Grade seven provided the ultimate test.Our English teacher whose name was Miss-Mueller-How-Could-You-Do-This-To-Me!, had assigned Every. Single. Person. in our class to do a report.An oral report.Okay, here’s where I admit that I had to have the words 'oral report' explained to me.Miss Mueller HCYDTTM! was happy to enlighten me.A little too happy.My soul was immediately immersed in dread.Death was suddenly an imminent thing.Due to occur on Thursday next.I spent the following six days in an ambivalent froth.Finally putting ink to paper the night before I was due to face the firing squad.To this day, I can’t remember what I reported on.Or even if I reported.Because something happened just before my turn that is etched forever in my memory . . .I‘m sure you’ve all been there.December 12, 2018
Winter Depths
He went out as the morning sun,Made new snow glisten bright.The world was still, the air was coldThe storm passed with the night.He carefully prepared his mountWith blankets and with tack,The snow had stopped, the wind had diedHe had cattle now to check.
The two of them moved carefullyInto the world of white.Their breath streamed out behind themMaking clouds in morning light.
But it wasn’t long before he stoppedAnd looked about him there.Then pulled his ‘cell phone from his coatAnd dialed his wife with care.
“Hi, Hon!” he said with chatt’ring teeth,Just thought I’d give a call,To let you know I’m heading back,Things don’t look good at all.”
“The snow out here’s too deep,” he said.“It’s cold and wet, I’ve found.It’s reached the tops of both my bootsIt’s hard to get around.”
His puzzled wife said to her man.“Your boot tops aren’t tall.“I don’t see how a drift that deepCould hamper you at all.”
Her husband frowned, “They don’t,” he said.“Well, they don’t bother me.But this poor horse I’m sitting on.He simply cannot see.”
Daddy in winter . . .My poem today is part of a challenge.My friend/intrepid leader, Karen issues them every month.Poetry on a theme.This month? Cold Days.Right up my ski hill. So to speak.Now that you've read mine, go and see what Karen and my other friends have constructed.You'll be glad you did!Karen of Baking In A Tornado: Cold Days SagaDawn of Cognitive Script: Ccccold Days Lydia of Cluttered Genius shares Cold Days.
December 11, 2018
Staging the Holiday
I’m sure it was a normal, every-year, run-of-the-mill holiday season.Everywhere but at the Tolley home.Maybe I should explain . . .My Husby and I have six children.Six.Originally, we were going for a baseball team, but we ran out of steam somewhere around shortstop.Sooo . . . six kids. Ages five to seventeen.It was Christmas time and we had to do something with them.What if we put them all on the stage? Had our own theatre company?Well, it made sense to us.Moving on . . .For that one magical year, we had just that.The Tolley Troubadours. Specializing in Dinner Theatre Who-done-its.Our most famous play? The Demise of Santa Claus?Okay, Broadway, we weren’t. But we sure had fun.The players:The Grinch. Our Seventeen-year-old. Self-proclaimed hater of Santa Claus and everything he stood for. And possessor of many and varied instruments of death and destruction whose sole purpose was the final end of the aforementioned and hapless Claus.Scrooge. Our sixteen-year-old. Hater of everyone equally. And not above threatening anyone who interfered with him (i.e. tried to engage him in conversation. Or smiled/looked at him.)Alfie the Elf. Our thirteen-year-old. Mobile-mouthed purveyor of all things ‘cookie’. Not averse to a little bribery when the mood took him.Mrs. Claus. Our eleven-year-old. Heavily made up, padded and hunched over model of sweetness and light. Until someone questioned her honesty. Then watch the rolling pin come out.Angel Sweetface. Our eight-year-old. Wealthy, angelic example of Life lived well. A little too well. Heaven forbid that anything should interfere with her rather skewed view of the world.Elfie the Elf. Our five-year-old. Son of Alfie. And mute. Until moments of stress/surprise/revelation when he became remarkably conversant and effusive. Strange.Inspector Clueso. My Husby. Bumbling, inept investigator of all things mysterious. Namely every person on the playbill.Bambi. Me. Feather-brained mistress of ceremonies. Woefully type-cast.And there it is. The lineup.Before, during and after a good dinner, based on the clues gleaned from presented scenes, the guests had to figure out who ‘done it’.Most guessed a Tolley.Surprisingly, they were right.Just not right enough.It was hard to figure out who had the most fun.The guests.Or the players.Yep. The best of Christmases.
P.S. Looking for some unique entertainment for your holiday celebrations?Not too particular about quality and/or expertise?I have someone I can recommend . . .
December 10, 2018
The Lazy Christmas
As I get older, I have found,(‘Tis something of which I’m not proud),My motivation’s slipping by,I’d rather sit. If it’s allowed…
The thought of dragging out the chestsOf Christmas tinsel, balls and bows,Just makes me tired. I want to sitHere ‘fore the fire in deep repose.
This year, I called the ‘chicklets’ up,To see if they would come help me,I tried to sweeten up the pot,With just a little bribery.
And so they came. And busily,They carried, hauled and opened up,They placed and hung and rearranged,And even did a quick clean up!
Then we made cookies: Yummy, sweet,
And laughed and talked as we rolled dough,Though we were tired and sticky. Hot.I’m sure we were in Heaven, though.
And lastly, there before the fire,With much of giggles, loud guffaws,They decorated one last thing,Their patient, sleepy, sweet Grandpa!
Mondays do get knocked a lot,With poetry, we three besought,To try to make the week beginWith pleasant thoughts--perhaps a grin?So Jenny and Delores, we,Have posted poems for you to see.And now you've seen what we have brought . . .Did we help?Or did we not?
Next week, we three will look askance
At the holiday romance!
The thought of dragging out the chestsOf Christmas tinsel, balls and bows,Just makes me tired. I want to sitHere ‘fore the fire in deep repose.
This year, I called the ‘chicklets’ up,To see if they would come help me,I tried to sweeten up the pot,With just a little bribery.
And so they came. And busily,They carried, hauled and opened up,They placed and hung and rearranged,And even did a quick clean up!
Then we made cookies: Yummy, sweet,
And laughed and talked as we rolled dough,Though we were tired and sticky. Hot.I’m sure we were in Heaven, though.
And lastly, there before the fire,With much of giggles, loud guffaws,They decorated one last thing,Their patient, sleepy, sweet Grandpa!
Mondays do get knocked a lot,With poetry, we three besought,To try to make the week beginWith pleasant thoughts--perhaps a grin?So Jenny and Delores, we,Have posted poems for you to see.And now you've seen what we have brought . . .Did we help?Or did we not?
Next week, we three will look askance
At the holiday romance!
December 9, 2018
Dating in the Forties
College boy.Who wouldn't want to date that face?Sunday's are for Ancestors!
Tell me about yours...Dad was home from college for the Christmas vacation in the winter of 1946.
He'd been working very hard (or so he said) and was ready for some fun.
What could be better than a dance?
With girls.
He gussied (real word) up and drove to Raymond, a nearby town.
The band was hot, and the girls were cute.
Heaven.
One young lady (hereafter known as The Girl) particularly took his eye. He asked her to dance.
The Girl agreed.
They danced.
He asked her again. Again she said yes.
They danced.
This went on for some time.
Finally, he asked if he could call on her. This was the 40s. Guys said things like that . . .
The Girl was most agreeable to that suggestion as well.
He floated home.
A couple of days later, he drove out to see her. Now, I should point out, here, that it was only about twenty minutes from Dad's family home to The Girl's family home.
When the conditions were good. As in - during the summer.
But it was winter.
Anything goes.
Dad reached the girl's house just as a blizzard hit. That was okay with him. He was warm and safe.
And he had The Girl totally to himself. Well, totally to himself if one didn't count her parents, siblings, siblings friends, neighbours . . . you get the picture.
They enjoyed a few minutes of conversation. Things were going well. Then, the doorbell rang.
Dum, dum Duuuum! (Actually, it probably sounded more like," Bing-bong!" But that would be boring. And totally not-ominous. The story needed ominous-ness.)
Moving on . . .
It was another guy. And from the ensuing conversation, one who was already close friends with The Girl.
For the remainder of the evening, the two young men tried to engage The Girl in conversation.
And glare unobtrusively at each other.
Finally, the evening drew to a close. It was time to leave.
Then, the ANNOUNCEMENT.
I capitalized this because it's important.
The Girl's mother announced that the blizzard had grown so bad that she would allow neither of the suitors to leave. The two of them would have to spend the night.
Okay, not so bad.
Together.
Wait. What?
In the same bed.
Yikes?!
According to Dad, it was the most uncomfortable night he had spent. Ever.
Including his time serving in the army.
At daylight, he peeked out the window. The storm had blown itself out. It was the best sight of his life.
No need to even stop to dress as he'd not bothered to undress. In fifteen seconds he was out the front door.
Leaving an astonished The Girl's mother with a batter-coated spoon half-raised in greeting.
Dad left in such a hurry that he even beat the snowplows.
He didn't care.
The sooner he made it home, the sooner he could begin to forget the whole thing.
At the age of ninety, he almost had it.
December 8, 2018
Panty Shopping
A Guest Post by: Grant Tolley
In recent months I have taken to walking during my lunch hour.
Walking is my favourite form of just plain old exercise. A holdover, I guess, from my Boy Scout days when I always enjoyed hiking in the mountains and following a long trail through the forests and the trees.
But I digress already . . .
My noon-hour constitutionals take me most days to a shopping plaza that is about 2 ½ kilometres away from my office.
When I get to the plaza, I often visit the bank there.
I usually have to put some money in so that they can keep operating.
Ahem!
When I am not paying penance to the bankers, I sometimes wander through one or more of the commercial establishments.
Now I should say that I am not much of a shopper-for-the-sake-of-shopping. But in recent years – since the marriages of my children and the arrival of an increasing gaggle of grand-kids – I have taken to just wandering through stores, casually watching for a bargain on something that one or the other of them would like or could put to good use.
So I buy it and salt it away in my joint-occupancy-with-my-Beloved closet, which holds most everything except what a closet is normally supposed to hold.
So the other day, I had found a small item or two, which I had cradled in my arms (having being either too short-sighted or just plain stupid enough not to have picked up a shopping basket) – and I headed to the cash register.
Now you must understand that this was the first really cold day of our winter, so I had on my bulky winter jacket, accompanied by dis-en-handed gloves which I held in one hand, holding the several items I needed to pay for, and then trying to fish my wallet out of a pants pocket that just happened to be underneath all of the above, and encumbered further by a set of keys and a blackberry, all not-so-neatly crammed into the same pocket.
I don’t have a clue who the idiot was who put all that stuff in there.
Needless to say, standing at the cash register, I was delayed somewhat on my wallet-fishing expedition, which held up the line of people behind me.
One of my own pet peeves! People who wait in line for 20 minutes to pay for their purchases, then wait until the cashier says “Twenty-eight dollars and two cents, please”, before they even start looking for their wallet or opening their purse.
And then inevitably not finding it.
Especially in a purse – in my Beloved’s purse, her cheque-book usually ends up hiding right underneath the kitchen sink.
But I digress again . . . .
I am sometimes annoyed by those persons – and now I find that I are one!
Begorrah!
A woman behind me starts talking.
To me.
I keep fishing, more hurriedly, figuring that she is like me, and I am annoying her by delaying the line. I drop my gloves.
I stoop to pick them up – and drop one of my purchases out of my arms.
The woman laughs.
Laughs!
At me!
And keeps talking.
I’m not hearing much of what she says, because my eyes are on the floor – not literally, but almost -- and my ears can’t seem to work at the same time that my eyes do under duress.
I toss my gloves onto the counter, stoop to pick up the dropped item – oops, make that now “items” -- which I quickly scoop up and throw onto the counter.
Whereupon one skids to the other side of the counter and falls, again, at the feet of the cashier.
“I’m sorry,” I say generally, hoping to include both the cashier and chattering Mom-like lady behind me.
And then I notice: Chattering Mom-Lady is smiling -- and still laughing!
And then, with my eyes back in their sockets, I stop to listen.
Amidst chuckles, Mom-Lady is saying to me, “Don’t you just hate it when that happens! Every time I get into a rush, that happens! Why it happened to me just the other day, and I bent over to pick up the new underwear . . . . “
My mind starts racing . . . . Is this going to be one of those way-too-much-information-from-a-total-stranger type of stories?
“. . . and when I finally bent my back upright again – that floor is a looong way down there, these days . . . ." – she points to her rumpled grey hair doing its best to escape from underneath a too-small-for-so-much-hair, Canadian-flag touque -- “I turned to the guy behind me and tried to give him the panties that I had just picked up off the floor, and I told him, 'You dropped your boxers, Sonny!' And he just about fell over laughing!”
I smile, as a jolly guffaw that reminds me of one of Santa Claus’ rolling belly-laughs rises up through Mom-Lady and shines out through her face.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” I mutter in an attempt at an apology.
“Oh my heavens!” says Mom-Lady, to me and the world in general. “I'm not in any hurry, Son! You just take your time.”
Fifty-nine years old, and she calls me “son”.
“Thanks,” I mutter again. “You’re very patient.”
By this time I have successfully completed my fishing expedition, the cashier has completed the transaction, and I am attempting to put on my gloves and retrieve all my shopping bags. There is one left on the cashier’s counter that I don’t quite know how I'm going to retrieve.
“Can I help you there?” Mom-Lady queries.
Having only two fingers left on which a shopping bag could be hung, I turn to Mom-Lady and, pointing with my last two fingers at the last bag on the counter, say to her, “Would you mind handing me my panties there?”
Mom-Lady guffaws, long and loud. I'm afraid we might have to call 9-1-1.
The cashier is laughing. As are two or three people in the line-up behind us.
Between rumbles of laughter, Mom-Lady hooks the last bag on my last two fingers, and says: “You have a great Christmas, son.”
Son. She called me “son”, and she couldn’t have been more than 5 years older than me. My hair was just as grey as hers. And even more rumpled.
“And you too, Mom” I reply through my smile.
As I think about Mom-Lady on my walk back to my office – arms loaded with shopping bags, for 2 ½ kilometres – I think, what a genuine human being! What a wonderful person!
Where so many others might have been consumed by Queue Rage – or Road Rage – or Airplane Rage, or so many other of the non-existent syndromes that we have invented as an excuse to be rude and impolite and impatient and unkind – how very nice it is to encounter whom and what I regard as a genuine, true, Gentle-Woman.
Might Santa Claus bring us many more – this year and every year.
The best Grant-pa in the world.
After a visit by a couple of granddaughters...
In recent months I have taken to walking during my lunch hour.
Walking is my favourite form of just plain old exercise. A holdover, I guess, from my Boy Scout days when I always enjoyed hiking in the mountains and following a long trail through the forests and the trees.
But I digress already . . .
My noon-hour constitutionals take me most days to a shopping plaza that is about 2 ½ kilometres away from my office.
When I get to the plaza, I often visit the bank there.
I usually have to put some money in so that they can keep operating.
Ahem!
When I am not paying penance to the bankers, I sometimes wander through one or more of the commercial establishments.
Now I should say that I am not much of a shopper-for-the-sake-of-shopping. But in recent years – since the marriages of my children and the arrival of an increasing gaggle of grand-kids – I have taken to just wandering through stores, casually watching for a bargain on something that one or the other of them would like or could put to good use.
So I buy it and salt it away in my joint-occupancy-with-my-Beloved closet, which holds most everything except what a closet is normally supposed to hold.
So the other day, I had found a small item or two, which I had cradled in my arms (having being either too short-sighted or just plain stupid enough not to have picked up a shopping basket) – and I headed to the cash register.
Now you must understand that this was the first really cold day of our winter, so I had on my bulky winter jacket, accompanied by dis-en-handed gloves which I held in one hand, holding the several items I needed to pay for, and then trying to fish my wallet out of a pants pocket that just happened to be underneath all of the above, and encumbered further by a set of keys and a blackberry, all not-so-neatly crammed into the same pocket.
I don’t have a clue who the idiot was who put all that stuff in there.
Needless to say, standing at the cash register, I was delayed somewhat on my wallet-fishing expedition, which held up the line of people behind me.
One of my own pet peeves! People who wait in line for 20 minutes to pay for their purchases, then wait until the cashier says “Twenty-eight dollars and two cents, please”, before they even start looking for their wallet or opening their purse.
And then inevitably not finding it.
Especially in a purse – in my Beloved’s purse, her cheque-book usually ends up hiding right underneath the kitchen sink.
But I digress again . . . .
I am sometimes annoyed by those persons – and now I find that I are one!
Begorrah!
A woman behind me starts talking.
To me.
I keep fishing, more hurriedly, figuring that she is like me, and I am annoying her by delaying the line. I drop my gloves.
I stoop to pick them up – and drop one of my purchases out of my arms.
The woman laughs.
Laughs!
At me!
And keeps talking.
I’m not hearing much of what she says, because my eyes are on the floor – not literally, but almost -- and my ears can’t seem to work at the same time that my eyes do under duress.
I toss my gloves onto the counter, stoop to pick up the dropped item – oops, make that now “items” -- which I quickly scoop up and throw onto the counter.
Whereupon one skids to the other side of the counter and falls, again, at the feet of the cashier.
“I’m sorry,” I say generally, hoping to include both the cashier and chattering Mom-like lady behind me.
And then I notice: Chattering Mom-Lady is smiling -- and still laughing!
And then, with my eyes back in their sockets, I stop to listen.
Amidst chuckles, Mom-Lady is saying to me, “Don’t you just hate it when that happens! Every time I get into a rush, that happens! Why it happened to me just the other day, and I bent over to pick up the new underwear . . . . “
My mind starts racing . . . . Is this going to be one of those way-too-much-information-from-a-total-stranger type of stories?
“. . . and when I finally bent my back upright again – that floor is a looong way down there, these days . . . ." – she points to her rumpled grey hair doing its best to escape from underneath a too-small-for-so-much-hair, Canadian-flag touque -- “I turned to the guy behind me and tried to give him the panties that I had just picked up off the floor, and I told him, 'You dropped your boxers, Sonny!' And he just about fell over laughing!”
I smile, as a jolly guffaw that reminds me of one of Santa Claus’ rolling belly-laughs rises up through Mom-Lady and shines out through her face.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” I mutter in an attempt at an apology.
“Oh my heavens!” says Mom-Lady, to me and the world in general. “I'm not in any hurry, Son! You just take your time.”
Fifty-nine years old, and she calls me “son”.
“Thanks,” I mutter again. “You’re very patient.”
By this time I have successfully completed my fishing expedition, the cashier has completed the transaction, and I am attempting to put on my gloves and retrieve all my shopping bags. There is one left on the cashier’s counter that I don’t quite know how I'm going to retrieve.
“Can I help you there?” Mom-Lady queries.
Having only two fingers left on which a shopping bag could be hung, I turn to Mom-Lady and, pointing with my last two fingers at the last bag on the counter, say to her, “Would you mind handing me my panties there?”
Mom-Lady guffaws, long and loud. I'm afraid we might have to call 9-1-1.
The cashier is laughing. As are two or three people in the line-up behind us.
Between rumbles of laughter, Mom-Lady hooks the last bag on my last two fingers, and says: “You have a great Christmas, son.”
Son. She called me “son”, and she couldn’t have been more than 5 years older than me. My hair was just as grey as hers. And even more rumpled.
“And you too, Mom” I reply through my smile.
As I think about Mom-Lady on my walk back to my office – arms loaded with shopping bags, for 2 ½ kilometres – I think, what a genuine human being! What a wonderful person!
Where so many others might have been consumed by Queue Rage – or Road Rage – or Airplane Rage, or so many other of the non-existent syndromes that we have invented as an excuse to be rude and impolite and impatient and unkind – how very nice it is to encounter whom and what I regard as a genuine, true, Gentle-Woman.
Might Santa Claus bring us many more – this year and every year.
The best Grant-pa in the world.After a visit by a couple of granddaughters...
On the Border
Stories from the Stringam Family ranches from the 1800's through to today.
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