Adam Oster's Blog, page 30

Fiction Friday: A Man’s Day

Harold Jenkins smiled to himself as he considered what the day had in store for him.  Today was the final day of camp for the kids, and his wife was out for the weekend and wouldn’t return until this evening, which meant it was just him, a sunny day, and a fridge full of beer.

He rolled over and looked at the clock.

7:00 AM.

Although he had hoped to sleep in longer, it was still an hour later than usual.  And it also meant that he might have some time to head down to the creek to try to catch some fish.  You know, if he could fit it into his busy schedule, he joked to himself.

He climbed out of bed and after a brief pit stop in the bathroom, he walked to the kitchen and brewed some coffee.  While the coffee dripped into the pot, he fried himself three eggs with a side of bacon.

As he sat down to eat, he saw, through the window, that the grass was in dire need of being cut.  No matter, he thought.  I’ll take care of that right away this morning.  I knew i woke up early for some reason.

After breakfast, and while cutting the grass, he noticed the tires on the lawn mower were wobbling.  After finishing the chore, he took the mower to the garage and took off all the bolts, replaced them with shiny new ones, and tightened everything up.  But while he was down there, he couldn’t help but realize the blade had gone quite dull and was full of chips.

That’s a quick fix, Harold thought, even if I have to drive into town.

And so he did, and was back, and as quick as that, the blade had been replaced.

And Harold smiled.

He looked at his watch.

1:00 PM.

Wow, he mused, the morning has just flown by, hasn’t it?  I should make some lunch.

And he headed back indoors to fix himself a sandwich.  As the sandwich was complete, he went outside to enjoy the small meal in the hammock.  As the swinging seat swing, he heard a squeak in the metal chain.

Some oil will fix that up quick, he laughed.  He finished his sandwich and sprayed oil on the chain and tested it out.  The squeak was gone.

He stayed in the hammock, staring at the blue sky above him.  You know what would make this even better, he thought.  A beer.

And so Harold went inside and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.  But then he noticed the fridge wasn’t working.  He opened the freezer and saw a puddle pooling directly beneath the fish sticks.

Crap, he cursed.  I guess the beer will have to wait.

He pulled the fridge from the wall and looked and saw that it was definitely plugged in.  He pushed the fridge back and opened it again, noting how the light was off, which he thought must be a good sign, but he couldn’t say for sure why.

I mean, it means that the issue isn’t with whatever’s cooling it, right? he considered.

He looked around for some sign that the fridge was getting power, but couldn’t find any.  He went to his computer and searched for common issues with this appliance which might lead to such a system failure.  And came across how there was a cord beneath the large device which sometimes shorts out.

So he took everything out of the fridge, pulled it away from the wall yet again, and managed to slowly tip it to its side.  He looked for the wire, found it, but couldn’t find anything to say that it was broken.

He decided the lighting wasn’t strong enough with only the light from the window and went to turn on the kitchen lights, only to find they weren’t turning on as well.

He smirked to himself in frustration.

I’ll bet it’s just a fuse, he said and went downstairs to check.

Indeed, a circuit had tripped.  He flipped it heard a click.  He ran upstairs to see the lights on the fridge had turned on, as well as the lights above him.

With a great deal of effort, he righted the refrigerator, pushed it back against the wall, and refilled it with all of the goods it had held earlier.  And then the lights went out again.

Really? Harold frowned.  What’s causing the breaker to trip?

He looked around the room and saw the iron still out from the previous night.  He had decided to iron his shirts for the coming week last night so he could focus on his day off today.  The red indicator light wasn’t on, but then Harold remembered the circuit had tripped.  He checked and it was, indeed, still plugged in.

I’ll bet it trips the breaker whenever the fridge is cooling and the iron is heating up at the same time, he concluded.  These stupid old irons are terrible.  I should really get a new one.

He unplugged the iron and put it away, ran back downstairs to flip the circuit, and went outside, beer in hand, to finally rest in the hammock.

As he settled in, he heard a car coming down the driveway.

He glanced, and saw his wife, and kids, jumping out of the vehicle to come and greet him.

“How was your day off?” his wife asked.

Fat Mogul vs. Comic Books

Now that we’re settling into the new house, I finally followed through on a promise I made to the kids months ago.  To buy a whole ton of comics.

On ebay, there are a whole bunch of folks who sell big piles of random comics for less than 50 cents a book.  The two oldest kids and I went in together on 300 of them.  And they’re here.  Currently sitting on my office floor…waiting to be sorted and read.

I really love this method of buying comic books, as it’s a giant grab bag of all sorts of different characters.  I’ve been able to be introduced to a whole host of books I would have probably never picked up otherwise, especially when considering that a third of these books come from independent labels (which here means, not DC or Marvel).

But, as I go through the books, I can’t help but feel wistful for the comic book shopping of my youth.  Just like the hours I would spend in the music store looking through their selection of CDs, the comic book shop was a wonderland where I could get sucked into purely seeing everything they had for sale and seeking out those treasured missing issues from my collection.

The comic book shop is a dying art form.  Which is odd, considering the current renaissance of the comic book characters.  My guess is that it has something to do with the typical business practices of those who run comic shops, but I don’t know.  For the past 20 years, I’ve primarily had one comic shop.  There was another one I loved, but was poorly curated.  The primary one was well curated, but I just hated going there.

Those times spent back home with my parents, I had access to a spectacular comic shop, which, back then, was connected to my favorite music store as well, meaning that I would get lost in the Boozer Shopping Center for days and come out penniless.

Honestly, if I wanted to, I could have a similar experience today.  There are comic book shops available for me to disappear into, but as an older man, I simply don’t have the time to invest in looking through every single book available.  I could do the same on the internet.  In fact, I can quite easily find sites which will actually seek out those missing issues for very little cost to myself outside of the current value of the book (if even that).

Which means that I’m probably not missing comic book shops as much as I’m missing the ability to waste time like I could when I was a younger man.  I’ve heard folks say that their one regret about their youth is that they wasted too much time.  I’d say that the time spent being wasted is some of the time I most enjoyed.

Not that I don’t get to waste time anymore.  It just doesn’t seem as frequent.

Although, I’m quite excited for it to dry up around here so I can get a fire going and sit around and roast some marshmallows.  Because, with kids, that might be my favorite way to waste time.

 

Fat Mogul vs. Respect

Today’s post is going to be mighty short, because although I attempted a long diatribe at this topic, in the end, I realized I just can’t do it justice…

So, instead, I’m going to keep to a very simple point.

Be respectful.

Like…seriously, just be freaking respectful.

I’m feeling done with labeling people as racist or sexist or bigots, because maybe I’m not seeing the whole picture with particular situations which come up in my life and in the world news.  But I can say, flat out, that these situations are ones where people are flat out disrespecting other people.

And it has to stop.

So, if you’re treating a person as less than you: Stop it.  I don’t care if it’s because you think they’re different because of their genitals, their skin color, or even just because of how much they’ve had to drink, stop it.

No matter who they are, they deserve to be treated like a person.

Respect.

More than love sweet love, this is what the world needs now.

Respect that people are different than you, that they see the world differently than you, that they come from a different background from you, and, most importantly, respect that you, yes you, do not know absolutely everything about everyone and when you put your prejudices or preconceptions or even first impressions into how you interact with someone else, you are being an a$$hole.  And you need to stop.

If you choose to treat someone poorly, talk down to them, act out against them, or just plain act like a jerk to someone, maybe consider taking a breath, realize that they too have their own lives going on that you know absolutely nothing about, and treat them like a freaking person who deserves respect.

Because, in the end, all people deserve respect.

Even a$$holes.

Well…to some extent anyways.

I mean, there does come a point where a disrespectful person just needs to be put down.  But that’s where we could all just take a moment, reflect on the situation briefly, and respond logically and respectfully.  Because even a$$holes have lives we know nothing about.

Bottom line: let’s all just take a moment to reflect on ourselves and how we could be more responsible for how we treat others.  And maybe, just maybe, put a little effort into making our fellow man and woman feel like they too are a person.

That is all.

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Fiction Friday: The End of the World

Not a lot of science to back any of this up…just a little take on the ol’ There was an old woman who swallowed a fly…

 

I had often considered the end of the world.  How would it come about?  Would zombies somehow come into existence and cause mankind to have to fight for their survival against both the wild and the undead monsters?  Would nuclear war bring about a never ending winter, causing the battle for life to be a true struggle in a world where nothing should be alive?  Or maybe it would be as simple as a new Black Death, where socialization itself could mean death?

Little would I realize it would be as simple as the extinction of the mosquito.

I’ll admit, when I was first told of how we needed to eradicate this pest, I was kind of for it.  Those stupid things have ruined too many of a day outside for me to really think I wanted them around.  And I was really happy with the fact that we had decided to use bats to eradicate them instead of some sort of chemical warfare.

Heck, I love bats.  Just watching them flutter about in the night sky can make a night seem that much more alive.

I didn’t really think about what that might mean when there are hundreds or even thousands flying about throughout the city.

But they did good work.  And quick.  Before long, the mosquitoes were all but forgotten.  Evening cookouts became pleasant without the constant struggle against the blood suckers.

But little did we think about how we still had hundreds of thousands of bats released across the country who were quickly running out of food.  Other bugs began disappearing.  The house flies and wasps were a pleasant removal.  But the bat colonies kept growing and kept getting more hungry.

And then they began attacking the bees.

We’ve long talked about the endangered status of bees, but those issues were generally not as strong with the necessary pollinators.  When the bats began eating the bees, the effects were nearly immediate.  Crops began drying up and our food crisis became real.

At the same time, we began seeing an increase in bat predators.  Cities that hadn’t seen snakes or weasels in remembered history were suddenly inundated with them.  Hawks and owls prowled the sky day and night looking for the flying rodents.

Nature began taking over its natural processes to remove the excess bats from our night skies.  But by that point, the damage had been done.

And now, here we sit.  In the middle of a barren cornfield.  Around a fire.  Roasting a bat.

Which, I have to admit…tastes a bit like chicken.

 

Fat Mogul vs. MST3k

I’ve always had conflicted feelings toward the beloved series, Mystery Science Theater 3000.  I remember catching an episode or two early on, but it wasn’t until high school when I actually sat down and watched multiple episodes in close succession.  I mean, this was the type of material made for high school boys.  Right up there with Monthy Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

And I enjoyed it.

But the thing is…I often enjoyed it more for the movie than for the riffing being done alongside it.

That’s not to say that the antics of Joel/Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo didn’t amuse me.  I would frequently laugh out loud and my usage of wakka-chikkas comes purely from the Mitchell episode.  And, to be completely honest, sometimes it would feel like the movie would get in the way of the story actually happening on the Satellite of Love.  What were the Mads up to now?  How were Joel/Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo going to battle insanity this time?  Is this really just a Pee Wee’s Playhouse spin off?

So, when I heard they were making a comeback, I had mixed feelings.  While there was a definite enjoyment to be had, something just always felt off about the series…but I could never quite put my finger on it.

And while working my way through the new series these past few weeks, I’ve finally landed on my issue with MST3k.  Ummm…I really like bad movies, especially bad monster movies.  And like that guy who will shush your coughing in the theater, I just want those guys in the front to shut up so I can watch the terrible story progress.

Of course, there are bits brought up by the crew of the SoL which does help enhance the movie.  Things they notice in the background, or odd combinations of music and scene, that I might not have noticed if it weren’t for them.  But generally speaking, I find myself annoyed at the guys talking during my movie.  Even if they do make me laugh from time to time.

But then, at the same time, I find myself connected to these characters.  Watching the cut scenes split out by 20 minutes (or however long) of movie makes me also eager to get back to watching these guys goof off.  Jonah’s infatuation with wood burning has me intrigued.  Will Kinga actually marry Jonah?  Will TV’s son of TV’s Frank finally get Kinga to notice him?

This is where I find the true brilliance of MST3k to be.  You see, while making fun of bad movies, they, themselves, are in a bad movie.  It’s intentional, of course, but done so brilliantly well.

So…here’s my final thoughts.  And no one in the world will agree with me.  Split out the movies and the cut scenes.  Let me watch the movies without those people up front talking through out and let me watch the rest of the episode without those long stretches of film.

That’s my thought of the day.

But seriously…I still don’t find “Watch out for snakes” funny…

 

Fat Mogul vs. Setting Expectations

Howdy folks.  So, now that I’m back and attempting to write on here regularly, I’ve come to the realization that I need to actually set some expectations, as in, you may want to have some sort of clue what will be happening on here.

Okay, no, we both know that you just come out here for a way to waste some time on your lunch break.  But, for my own sake, to make sure when I come out here I actually have some clue of what to write, as opposed to random thoughts on my brain at the moment, I feel there’s a need to actually come up with a plan.

So, I have one.  And I thought I’d share it with you.

As was the practice right before dropping off the blogosphere (do people still use that word?), I’ll be updating on here Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  I’ve got to get back to spending some time on my other projects, so I can’t quite get to a daily posting yet.

And here’s the plan for content for each of those days.  Monday, we’ll call Manic Monday.  Why?  Don’t know.  Alliteration, that’s why.  What does it mean?  Well, it means that I’m going to attempt to use Monday to do some real hard talking about real hard subjects…that was a terribly written sentence…seems about right for introducing this…  Anyways, there was some good response to some of the articles I’ve written over the past few months about current events/political/opinionated bs, and I’ve realized that I could use some more experience in that style of writing.  So, Manic Monday will be my own little op-ed corner, where I can get all, you know, like, serious…or something.

Wednesday…Is Wacky Wednesday copyrighted?  Probably, but let’s go with it anyways…Or Wooly Wednesday?  Meh…Wubbulous Wednesday…Honestly, I don’t care what you want to call it (as long as it has alliteration).  This will be my attempt to help get you over the hump.  Something a little more humorous, something a little more jazzy, something to help brighten the day a bit.  I have absolutely no clue how I’m going to manage to pull that off, but, you know, silly family stories that don’t quite fit over on the 30minutes2bedtime blog (which I’m resurrecting soon), or cool things I’ve learned about out in the world…or reviews…or…I don’t know.  Cool stuff.  That’s the plan.

And Friday…I’m bringing back Fiction Friday.  And although to start this will be a Flash Fiction Friday, the intention with this space is to be the place for the weekly release of Jack to the Future, the serialized novel I’ve been promising for weeks.  It’s coming together and I’m really excited to start releasing it…but it’ll be a few weeks yet, so I’ll do some more work on some flash fiction while we wait.

And that’s it.  That’s the week on the blog.

Now hold me to it…

And have fun out there!

Fat Mogul vs. Agora Files Part III

As we speak, I’m hard at work putting the words to paper on Agora Files Part III, and each and every step along the way I get further and further excited for releasing this book.  When I began plotting out the first book, I really thought I could complete the story in one simple action-packed title.  As the story progressed, I quickly learned there was way too much to tell in one book.

But I was certain I could get it all packed into the second book.  Like, really really certain.

And then when I began plotting out book 2 in the series, I quickly learned how wrong I was.

Of course, after finishing it, and considering what all had to happen next, I was concerned that there just might not be quite enough to tell in a third book.  There was a lot to wrap up yet, but, well, I just felt that maybe the third book would be lacking somehow, especially if I ended up having to pad with filler, which is very much against the idea of the series.

Now that I’m in the thick of writing, nearing that 20,000 word goal (which puts me around a quarter of the way done with the first draft), I’m realizing that I shouldn’t have been concerned.  While I don’t have any fears that this series will require another book to conclude everything, I do have the issue with determining how much depth to get into.  If you’ve read the first two books in the series, you’ve no doubt gathered that there is a deep and intricate political backdrop which revolves around our heroes.  A political backdrop which keeps getting further and further intricate as more pieces are revealed.

But, more importantly…there’s just the pure action which gets our heroes through all these pieces.

And that’s the part I’ve been enjoying writing.  As well as the part which, I believe, makes the series so beloved.

So, here’s the situation.  I’m nearly a quarter of the way through the book and it is completely action packed…but, of course, those answers still have to fit in there somewhere.  And I have the answers.  And I know how to fit them in…but every time I start cramming them into the crevices between the action, I get excited about a new piece of action.

Which means, this book is freaking filled to the brim with action.  Where you may have thought the first book left you breathless with how fast things moved, even when running across vast landscapes for miles and miles, book three puts that same action into the middle of an all out war.

And it’s so freaking awesome.

I honestly couldn’t have predicted how well this story would have come together.  I was nervous.  Book 2 slowed down from book 1 quite drastically.  Sure, there are some spectacular scenes, but it was much more focused on the characters and world building.  Which was a necessary palate cleanser after the non-stop action of book 1.  But book 3, I believe, will be the perfect blend of both, which is precisely what I had planned…and it’s exciting me how much those plans are coming to fruition.

So, long story short…I honestly believe Book 3 is everything you’ve been waiting for in the conclusion to this series.  It’s packed full of action, it’s giving those long-awaited answers, and most importantly, it’s got even more of those wild twists and turns the series has become known for, which should leave you at the end with a whole new look at the entire series itself.

And I’m so excited to get it done.

Which…I suppose…means I should probably get back to writing, huh?

Have fun out there!

Fat Mogul vs. Working the Land

Having gotten most of the boxes unpacked, my focus over the past week has turned toward getting control of our land.  Most of our 12.5 acres is currently unusable, taken over by a choked creek and the overgrown grass which is choking it.  Honestly, there’s not much I’m going to be able to do about that manually.  I’m planning on leaving that for the goats.

But, there’s still a few acres of land which I can tame.  Things like getting our garden together for the upcoming planting season is definitely within my wheelhouse…and where I’ve been spending my spare time.

Having grown up in an incredibly religious family, I find it hard to extract my daily thoughts from stories from the Bible.  As such, whenever I find myself working the land, I consider the efforts of Adam (the first man) after being ejected from the Garden of Eden.  His curse was that he was going to have to work the land.  That he would have to battle weeds, shovel the hard earth, and care tenderly for the plants which would become his food.

This was his curse.

This is my hobby.

After a long day sitting in front of a computer dealing with whatever first world corporate problems become a task of my employment, nothing feels better than to have a real task at hand, such as needing to put up a compost heap, build fencing for a garden, or even just hauling mounds and mounds of dirt across my yard to ensure everything has the nutrients it needs.  Meticulously planting seeds in my nursery (which is currently most of the first floor of my house) while reeking of chicken poop puts a smile on my face.

Because these are things which need to be done.  Yes, the tasks at work need to be done in order to make the business more profitable and, ultimately, so I can continue being employed and thereby be more profitable myself, but those manual labor tasks outside, they are ones producing food.  Something that is necessary.  And considering how much of our food comes from far away from here, producing more of it in my backyard means we’re relying less and less on people transporting our food from other countries and more on using the God-given super power every single yard has.  The power of life.

Working the land may take a great deal of effort.  It may cause for a handful of painkillers to make sure the sleep isn’t broken by an injured back.  It may mean I find myself picking off another handful of ticks as I work to destroy the long grass they love so much.  But it’s worth it when you see those little sprouts appear, showing that you have, indeed, followed along with the great ancestral right of all humans: to farm.

Of course…none of those sprouts have sprouted quite yet, so I could be speaking an incredibly different tone in a week when I’m sitting on hundreds of plants which just won’t germinate…but for now, my body is tired, but my mind is content.

And I still get to do some writing

Fat Mogul vs. Ticks

I honestly wish that this post would be about the types of ticks which yell “Spoon!” as they head into battle, but unfortunately, I’m talking about those little blood suckers that happen to become the bane of everyone’s existence in the midwest during the spring months.  Sure, they’re always around, and they aren’t relegated to just the Midwest, but it seems like that combination is when these little suckers are at their worst.

And, one thing which can make them incredibly bad is when you’ve got long grass.

Which I just so happen to be in the possession of great quantities of.

Just yesterday I pulled 5 ticks off me and spent the rest of the day twitching like I was certain I had them crawling all over my body (if there isn’t a psychological theory connected to what happens to your body after finding one creepy crawly on it, there really should be).

So, I spend some time looking into ways to decrease the tick population in our area, because, well, you know…ticks are the worst.  Not to mention that one of those five were of the super tiny deer tick variety, which are, of course, the ones which carry that terrible Lyme’s Disease, which is actually not the reason I hate finding ticks on my body, but really should be.

Turns out, there are some rather simple answers to the problem of how to decrease a tick population.  1. Get rid of long grass.

Well, that’s already on my bucket list.  But since most of our land is not able to be manicured by modern technology, it requires the use of old school methods (i.e. goats).

2. Bring in tick predators.  Guess what loves eating ticks?  Other than gorillas, of course.  Chickens!

Those two items up there, chickens and goats, just so happen to be top priorities for farm inhabitants, even before looking into tick remediation plans.

So, I guess that means we just need to get right down to building a chicken coop and mending some fences so we can bring these happy hungry animals out to work.

Of course…mending those fences will mean an awful lot more ticks to deal with…

 

Fat Mogul vs. Back to Writing

As I’ve stated on here a few times, I’m incredibly excited about how Agora Files Part 3 is taking off.  I mean, like, so excited that it’s difficult for me to actually focus on the writing aspect of it.

And what’s worse: Although I’ve plotted this thing out fairly thoroughly and intricately, I keep coming up with better ideas…which means my entire plot keeps going by the wayside.

But, here’s the thing, I’m already past the really hard part of the first 10,000 words, which means that all I have to do is plow through the next 50,000 words until I get to the really really hard part of the last 10,000 words.

Which is awesome for one pure reason: I’m back to writing!

It feels so incredibly great to be back on the writing band wagon again.  I can’t even express how excited I am about it.  Through on top of that the excitement coming from how much better Agora 3 is going than I had initially expected and, well, you can tell it’s really hard to focus on much else…

Which can be problematic, what with the whole new job/new home thing going on.

Speaking of which…I should really get those seeds started right about now…

So, anyways, this is going to be another short post here again today, but I just wanted to put it out there that I’m so incredibly dedicated to this story right now and so ready to rock through the editing on the two books I’ve already got written, that I full expect to have some brand spanking new tales for you to digest by fall.

That’s not to mention how I’m still working on that book I plan on releasing through the blog here.  You know, in a serial-format, where you’ll get new chapters weekly?

Yeah, still in the early stages of that one, which will take a lot more planning than I’m generally accustomed to, since I plan on releasing it while still writing it.

Bottom line: I’m back at it, and it feels so damned good.

Makes me wonder why I ever stopped.

 

Oh yeah…that whole life thing…I forgot about that.

Have fun out there!