Audacia Ray's Blog, page 4
December 3, 2014
missgingerlee:
ayothewuisback:
socialjusticekoolaid:
HAPPENING...
HAPPENING NOW (12/3/14): Thousands are pouring into the streets in NYC in memory of Eric Garner and in protest of another killer cop who got away with murder. SHUT. IT. DOWN. #staywoke #farfromover
This is more beautiful than any tree. I could cry.
Seriously, why are people upset that the whole ‘tree lighting’ shit may be affected? Human being>a fucking tree.
November 27, 2014
November 25, 2014
A Legal Reminder, And A Question
So, a grand jury doesn’t decide guilt or innocence. In this case, this distinction is deeply terrifying. Here’s why: A grand jury is tasked with deciding *if a crime has been committed*.
Under Missouri law, police may fire if they “FEEL threatened” in any manner. That means the grand jury…
Yes there is a chance things still happen. For one, the US DoJ is still investigating this incident and will maybe bring federal charges. Second, the DoJ is investigating the whole ferguson pd for civil rights violations. Third, Michael browns family and their lawyers will bring a civil wrongful death suit against Wilson and that won’t have dedicated cop-protector Bob McCulloch in charge.
I feel so useless sitting here. What can I do to help Ferguson??
there’s a bail and legal fund that’s been set up for those who’ve been arrested
this person is trying to organize a food drive for school kids in ferguson.
national moment of silence 2014 (for victims of police brutality)
share the following:
livestream link to the peaceful protests
Ferguson Police Department
Email (taken off the site)
222 S. Florissant Road
Ferguson, MO 63135
Ph: 314-522-3100
Fx: 314-524-5290
November 23, 2014
"1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing..."
1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
2. Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people “need space.” I don’t know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, “Thanks for your love, but please go away,” than to say, “I was hurting and no one cared for me.” If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.
3. Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. It’s perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely … only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Surviving trauma takes “firefighters” and “builders.” Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team — those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew — those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.
5. Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.
It’s not easy to know what this looks like — can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.
6. Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
“I’m so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year … ” “At least it’s not as bad as … ” “You’ll be stronger when this is over.” “God works in all things for good!”
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we don’t know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.
7. Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, “This made me stronger,” or “I’m lucky it’s only (x) and not (z).” That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for one’s self. The story may ultimately sound very much like “God works in all things for good,” but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. It’s natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, I’d say the first is, “Blessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently they’ve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.” It may not look like what you’d request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9. Whatever doesn’t kill you …
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan O’Brien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
"Nietzsche famously said, ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ … What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.”
Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.
10. … Doesn’t kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.
”-
Catherine Woodiwiss, “A New Normal: Ten Things I’ve Learned About Trauma” (via princesshoneycunt)
Perfect
(via littleprincesswillow)
So good and so needed for me right now.
November 20, 2014
velveteenfur:
Red umbrella Diaries. We get to see the final...
Red umbrella Diaries.
We get to see the final edit of the documentary on Saturday.
I miss being with the other 6, it was a whirlwind few months.
Ahhh, #redupdoc storytellers - this pic is ridiculous and awesome! Glad to be gathering with everyone this weekend.
November 12, 2014
redupnyc:
Sailor has bartended, waited tables, worked as a...
Sailor has bartended, waited tables, worked as a freelance prop-stylist, a bathhouse attendant, go-go bear, schoolteacher, and house painter. Reared in Johannesburg and Tel Aviv, he is now a “freelancer of the night” or “your average next door beefy furry cub for hire.”
Sailor is one of the seven featured storytellers in The Red Umbrella Diaries, a feature documentary that will premiere in 2015.
Find him on twitter @sailoryboyny and on tumblr at velveteenfur.tumblr.com - both NSFW!
Learn more about the film and see the official trailer at http://redumbrelladiaries.com
October 19, 2014
illbegotdamn:
darvinasafo:
Jim Crow 2.0
nothing’s changed....
Jim Crow 2.0
nothing’s changed. it’s just evolved.
devil stay pulling tricks.
October 15, 2014
sexworkerproblems:
peechingtonmariejust:
clarawebbwillcutoffyou...
We’re just over the $10,000 mark in our fundraiser for Tjhisha Ball and Angelia Mangum’s families to help with the costs of their funerals. We still need $7,000 more. Could you share this and donate? Even $1 helps and you can choose to make your name, donation, both, or neither private! We got this!
Here’s the link: http://www.youcaring.com/memorial-fundraiser/help-angelia-and-tjhisha-s-family/238511
Please share you guys! Even if you can’t donate!
We are now at $10,449 with 8 days left to go. Please help if you can.
Signal boosting. The fundraiser needs $6500 to reach its goal!
October 14, 2014
redupnyc:
The Red Umbrella Diaries is a feature documentary...
The Red Umbrella Diaries is a feature documentary that tells the personal stories of seven LGBTQ New Yorkers who work in different sectors of the sex trade and come together to tell their tales on stage at Joe’s Pub.
We’ve been working on the film for more than a year and we are so excited to share the official trailer with you! We’ve been submitting the film to festivals and are aiming for a premiere in 2015. More info about the project and the cast is on our website: http://redumbrelladiaries.com/
Excited. Proud. Sex worker stories on film! A thing I have been working on for a while!
