Kathleen Smith's Blog, page 34

Being Around Other Pregnant Women

Each time I lost one of my babies, being around other pregnant women was not an easy thing for me to do........ When I had my third miscarriage another friend of mine was pregnant, although this time things were different. I didn't know her yet. I know that sounds odd, but all I had to hear was that she was pregnant, and that she was due on the exact day I would have been due. That, for some reason, did me in. The first time I saw her was at a class reunion of my husband's and I made sure to stay away from her as much as possible. She did eventually have her baby and it was on that due date and I was crying......
The rest is in Chapter 4 "Being Around Other Pregnant Women"

Being Envious

Being envious of other women is not a good thing. I remember after my second miscarriage thinking about my friend a lot. At the time it felt like she was having all these babies, and all I had was my two kids. I kept thinking how it wasn't fair. Why was she getting to have these babies and I had to settle for two?

The rest is in Chapter 3 "Being Envious" from my book Marriages & Miscarriages:One Woman's Personal Experience

Talking With My Husband

I don't think people realize this, but husbands also hurt emotionally from a miscarriage. They may not show it, but they are feeling it. Or they show it, but nowhere near as much. Or they show it differently ........
The rest is in Chapter 2 Talking With My Husband from my book Marriages & Miscarriages:One Woman's Personal Experience.

Having a Miscarriage

When my husband and I were dating, or courting, as he likes to put it, we discussed how many children we would like to have. When he told me he wanted to have ten kids I thought he was kidding so I laughed. He wasn't kidding. I told him I wanted to have three kids. He thought I was kidding so he laughed. I wasn't. So we compromised and agreed on five. All was good or so we thought. ........ The rest is in Chapter 1 of my book Marriages & Miscarriages:One Woman's Personal Experience

I Am Not a Writer

"You may have noticed while reading all that I have written that I most likely repeated myself numerous times. I understand that good writers do their best not to be repetitive, but I'm not a writer. I do not claim to be one and I doubt I will ever become one.
So, why write all this down and put it into a book? Pretty simple. Because for the last couple of years I have had all these different thoughts going through my mind about miscarriages and how I felt when I was going through mine and started to wonder how many women have gone through the same feelings and emotions that I have had, and had or have no one to talk with.......... The rest is in Chapter 14 "I Am Not a Writer" from my book "Marriages & Miscarriages:One Woman's Personal Experience"

Memories

As I write about what its like to go through having a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages, I have found it to bring back memories that I thought were hidden somewhere deep in the back of my mind. A place where I thought I would never go to again. I had all these memories tucked away quite nicely, so as to not think about them any more, but now I'm glad that I do remember, for it has made me realize so many different things about me that I didn't know happened. I didn't see what was going on at the time, but am so grateful that it all happened.
I can remember after my first miscarriage thinking, "huh, so I had a miscarriage." .......the rest is in "Chapter 13 Memories

Content

"I know I have spoken a little about this before, but I am finding there is more to say-being content. Sometimes the word content sounds so strong and other times you don't give it another thought. A while ago, I started to think about that word. I don't know if my pastor talked about it in one of is messages or if God was speaking to my heart or what, but there it was. It made me think about my family and what the word content means in the dictionary and what verses use it in the Bible....... The rest is in Chapter 12 Content

No Children

A piece from Chapter 11 "No Children" from my book "Marriages & Miscarriages:One Women Personal Experience"

"Even though I am writing about what it's like to go through having a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages and still having kids, I feel it is also important to remember there are also lots of women who have had either one miscarriage or many miscarriages and don't have any children at all. I believe that some of the same principles are applied to them as to women with kids and have had miscarriages."

"I know God has His reasons, as He does for everything he lets happen to people, but that doesn't mean I understand. Why let this couple have ten, another couple five, and yet another couple to just have one and then the last couple none? Doesn't seem fair, does it?"........

Wondering

"I can remember after I had my kids wondering what my last baby that I lost would have looked like. Would he or she have had blond hair or brown? Blue, green or brown eyes? I kept dwelling on it. I was having a lot of trouble getting it off my mind." There is more to this in Chapter 10 "Wondering"

I answer, "I'm Okay"

"I found after having my miscarriages, my friends would come up to me and they would all ask the same question, "Are you Okay?" My first response to that was: "yes, I'm okay" or "I'm fine," but in reality I wasn't okay or fine. What I wanted to do was shout out, "no, I'm not okay!" I wanted to tell them how much I was hurting, but because some of them have never experienced a miscarriage themselves they would not have understood. I wasn't even ready to speak to those that did understand."

The rest is in Chapter 9 " I Answer, "I'm Okay"