Kathleen Smith's Blog, page 16

Happy Birthday in Heaven Mom

Happy Birthday mom! This weekend would have been your seventy-seventh birthday. I would love to call you and send you a card. Or wish you a happy birthday in person. Instead your celebrating in heaven. I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since you passed away.  I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing you smile. I miss seeing you playing with my kids. Although they have grown a lot in the last four years so playing with them probably wouldn’t work. I can see you talking with them though. Laughing and maybe telling jokes with each other.

My guess is you’re happy where you are. I’m also guessing you’re taking good care of my three little ones who I never got to meet. I want to thank you for that. I would imagine by now you have already given Jesus a big hug and met Noah, Moses, King David, Abraham, Sarah and many many more people from Bible times. Who knows maybe you’re good friends with them now.

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I know you’re better off in heaven where there is no pain and no sadness. No sickness. No disease of any kind. But I do miss you so very much. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of you. Even if its only for a few minutes. I have to say the holidays are the worst for me, mom. That’s when it all happened. You got sick in November and went to the hospital. You spent your birthday in the hospital and on New Years Day 2014 you left us and left a big hole in my heart. That one part of my heart that belongs only to you.

I don’t know if you ever knew it mom, but you were one very special lady to me. You were not only my mom, but for the longest time before I met my husband you were my best friend. We did so much together when I was in my teens. You bought me so many teddy bears that it became this thing with us. Now that you’re gone teddy bears have become more special to me. I can’t even go into Macy’s during the holidays, seeing all those bears and not cry.

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And in case you didn’t know it, you were a wonderful nana. My kids loved you and I know they miss you too. You would be so proud of them. Katie is engaged to a nice guy. You would like him. Funny face has a job and the little one isn’t so little anymore.

I guess what I’m trying to say is. Happy Birthday. I love you. I miss you. I wish you were still with us. And I hope, okay I know you’re doing just fine where you are. But down here we are missing you.

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Authors, Do Unto Others as You Would Have Them Do To You

The other day I was talking with my husband about my books and blog. I was telling him how frustrated I’ve been because I’ve been having trouble coming up with new ways to promote my books and blog. After all I am a one woman show and all I have is me to get the word out there about my stuff. Trying to come up with new tweets for Twitter has been a huge struggle for me lately and the list goes on. I was telling him how nice it would be if other people could help promote my books and blog, but this isn’t something I like asking people to do. It would however be nice if people out of the kindness of their heart did it. You know, to be nice.

That’s when we got talking about a group of Christian ladies who also have books and blogs. I was explaining to him that I like following these ladies on Twitter and on Facebook. I tweet their tweets when I can and I share their blogs on Facebook when I see them go through my feed. Because it’s always nice when Christian woman help each other out.

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The problem for me is with this group of ladies it’s kind of like being back in High School–unless you are one of the cool kids you can’t be apart of the group. That’s what it feels like for me. We are all Christian women with books and blogs and yet they won’t give people like me the time of day.  I gladly follow them on Twitter, like their FaceBook pages and share what I can when I can. I would even buy a copy of their books and if I like what I read I write a review on my own blog.

I realize that they aren’t independent authors they are really a company that has writers and is all about promoting their own stuff.  Independent authors don’t have a company behind them. Independent authors help each other out and friend each other on social media whether we are in an elite group or not. In my genre (Christian woman authors) we have so much in common. We are married, have kids (a few or many), we all have our physical and spiritual problems and we all have our books and blogs we want people to read.  The difference is they are a group that is a company and helps each other out and I am all by myself.

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I would love to share my testimony with others like these ladies have had the chance to do. I would love to do interviews, podcasts and anything else. I would love to share how God got me through difficult times like my miscarriages.

If it sounds like I’m ranting, I’m not. After talking about this with my husband I got all fired up trying to figure out why ladies like these only help each other out while authors like me are standing alone trying their hardest to get the word out about there books and blog. I’m trying to figure out why we can’t all help each other. After all we are Christian women and it its nice to help each other out.

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I really appreciate how independent authors help each other so we don’t only have ourselves. I am very grateful for all those who have retweeted me, bought my books, wrote reviews and shared advice. I am very grateful I’ve been able to do this for other independent authors.

After having this talk with my husband we both agreed I am going to keep doing my best at promoting my stuff. At the same time I will do my best to help other authors promote there books and blogs as well. Not because I have to or want something for it. Because it’s something I enjoy doing and it’s something I’m good at.

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Authors, Do Unto Other as You Would Have Them Do To You

The other day I was talking with my husband about my books and blog. I was telling him how frustrated I’ve been because I’ve been having trouble coming up with new ways to promote my books and blog. After all I am a one woman show and all I have is me to get the word out there about my stuff. Trying to come up with new tweets for Twitter has been a huge struggle for me lately and the list goes on. I was telling him how nice it would be if other people could help promote my books and blog, but this isn’t something I like asking people to do. It would however be nice if people out of the kindness of their heart did it. You know, to be nice.

That’s when we got talking about a group of Christian ladies who also have books and blogs. I was explaining to him that I like following these ladies on Twitter and on Facebook. I tweet their tweets when I can and I share their blogs on Facebook when I see them go through my feed. Because it’s always nice when Christian woman help each other out.

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The problem for me is with this group of ladies it’s kind of like being back in High School–unless you are one of the cool kids you can’t be apart of the group. That’s what it feels like for me. We are all Christian women with books and blogs and yet they won’t give people like me the time of day.  I gladly follow them on Twitter, like their FaceBook pages and share what I can when I can. I would even buy a copy of their books and if I like what I read I write a review on my own blog.

I realize that they aren’t independent authors they are really a company that has writers and is all about promoting their own stuff.  Independent authors don’t have a company behind them. Independent authors help each other out and friend each other on social media whether we are in an elite group or not. In my genre (Christian woman authors) we have so much in common. We are married, have kids (a few or many), we all have our physical and spiritual problems and we all have our books and blogs we want people to read.  The difference is they are a group that is a company and helps each other out and I am all by myself.

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I would love to share my testimony with others like these ladies have had the chance to do. I would love to do interviews, podcasts and anything else. I would love to share how God got me through difficult times like my miscarriages.

If it sounds like I’m ranting, I’m not. After talking about this with my husband I got all fired up trying to figure out why ladies like these only help each other out while authors like me are standing alone trying their hardest to get the word out about there books and blog. I’m trying to figure out why we can’t all help each other. After all we are Christian women and it its nice to help each other out.

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I really appreciate how independent authors help each other so we don’t only have ourselves. I am very grateful for all those who have retweeted me, bought my books, wrote reviews and shared advice. I am very grateful I’ve been able to do this for other independent authors.

After having this talk with my husband we both agreed I am going to keep doing my best at promoting my stuff. At the same time I will do my best to help other authors promote there books and blogs as well. Not because I have to or want something for it. Because it’s something I enjoy doing and it’s something I’m good at.

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My First NewsBoys Concert!

I’ve been wanting to go to a NewsBoys concert for a while now. A while being three years since that’s how long it’s been since the movie God’s Not Dead was in theaters. I actually first heard their song God’s Not Dead in the movies trailer which is what made me want to see the movie.

I heard this song and I thought “wow that’s a really cool song”. By the way the movie was seriously good too. After the movie I started listening to NewsBoys more. Now they are my favorite singing group to listen.



When I’m cleaning my house I love listening to them. In fact I end up dancing and singing to their music while I clean. Okay I’m getting side tracked here. Let’s get back to their concert. So anyway, I’ve been wanting to go to one of their concerts and Friday night I finally got the chance.

My husband, our youngest daughter and I went with a group of people from our church to a NewsBoys concert in Danbury, Connecticut. It was about a three hour drive and well worth it.

They were the last group in a large concert called Big Church Night Out. There were other singers and groups with them. To be honest I have never heard of any of them, but they were all good to hear as well. There was Sidewalk Prophets, 7eventh Time Down, Blanca, Derek Minor, Brock Gill, Adam Agee, Jameson Strain and Jeremy Willet.

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When NewsBoys finally came on stage I was SO excited. I mean my husband was looking at me like I was crazy, that’s how excited I was. Then my phone came out of my pocket and I started videoing and taking pictures. Their lead singer is my favorite of all four of them. Don’t know why, but he is.

This group was worth the wait and they were worth the three hour drive from New York to Connecticut. If you’ve never heard of them I highly recommend you check them out and listen to their music. They are worth it. And if you can make it to one of their concerts I say go for it. There are more dates in this tour this year so if you can go, you should. Www.BigChurchNightOut.com

I would love to meet them one day and tell them how much I enjoy their songs. Who knows maybe by some miracle they will see this blog, read it and contact me. Then again maybe not. I can hope though.

It’s All About Perspective (Holidays without my mom)

Originally I was thinking about naming this weeks blog “can I skip the holidays this year”. I even asked my husband if we could skip them. I don’t really want to skip them this year and at the same time I do. You see since my mom passed away four years ago on January first, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years hasn’t been easy for me to celebrate.

When she was sick in the Hospital in 2014 I dealt with the Holidays. I did my best to be upbeat and cheerful. I kept myself busy to keep myself sane for the Holidays that year. 2015 was my first Holidays without my mom. I was able to celebrate with my family, but at the same time I was hurting. I was missing my mom.

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It feels like my emotions are getting worse with each year. It isn’t only hard to celebrate, it’s also the same time of year where I had to deal with my mom getting sick and passing away. It makes for what should be a happy time of year a stressful, sad, all I want to do is cry time of year.

This year feels worse then the last two years. I don’t think it helps that my husband and I are in what he calls the limbo years. The years between when we use to have big family gatherings to go to and the years where our children are close to getting married and having their own families. This is not an easy time to go through. So this year may be the first Thanksgiving where we go to a restaurant to eat.

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This morning I thought more about the going out to eat on Thanksgiving. I thought it would be a good idea to try to make the best out of a sad situation. To put a smile on my face and try to be positive. Especially for my family. And then I went on Facebook. That’s when I found out a friend of our family had unexpectedly been admitted to  the hospital.

Well if that doesn’t put things into perspective I don’t know what does! I felt bad knowing this man was in the hospital. All I could think to myself was “Oh no he’s such a sweet man I don’t want anything to happen.” I felt bad that his wife had to leave him in the hospital. Then all I could think was “please dear Lord don’t let what happen with my mom happen with other families this Holiday season.”

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That’s when I realized it’s all about perspective. That’s when I realized Even though I miss my mom terribly and will want to cry this Thanksgiving, I NEED to figure out a way to make the best out of a sad situation. I need to put on a smile. I need to remember all that I have and all that I’ve been blessed with and be Thankful for all of it. My husband. Our kids. Our house. Our love. Our Church family. The amount of times my husband, our youngest and I were able to travel overseas this year. And so much more. Most importantly for my Salvation and the love of God that I have.

I Know What You’re Thinking

I know what you’re thinking is something my husband and I say to each other often. In fact I would say ninety nine percent of the time we do know what each other is thinking. Of course I do have this habit of asking him what it is he thinks I’m thinking. Sure enough he knows what it is!

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I love this about our marriage. Sometimes one look is all we need to say “I love you”. One look that says “I don’t feel good” or “I’m upset”. Or even that one special look that says something very intimate.

We can be at our favorite diner with our kids and we only have to look at each other to have our own conversation. Sometimes my husband will raise his eyebrows up and down which makes me laugh. Usually our kids notice and tell us to stop. Apparently they find it a bit embarrassing that their parents still look at each other in that way HA.

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And then there are the moments when we see each other from across a room, our eyes connect and we talk with each other with only our eyes. I usually end up smiling too. I love thinking about how much we love each other and how blessed I am to have him for my husband.

After twenty three years of marriage this is a nice thing to be able to do. It’s a special feeling knowing each other so well that we know what the other person is thinking just from one look.

I’ll Take That Challenge

Sometimes taking a challenge isn’t a good idea. Like if someone challenged you to eat a can of worms or something like that. That would be gross and a bad idea. Then there are challenges that you can’t help but to take on.

I was given such a challenge at the beginning of this week. Sunday night my husband was kind enough to remind me that some people from our Church were coming over on Friday night to watch a movie. He asked me if I was up to the challenge of getting our downstairs ready for it. I told him I was.

When he asked me if I was up for the challenge all I could think was “Oh it’s on!” I felt like I was being dared to do the impossible. I know he didn’t mean it that way, but that’s how my brain took it. I was set to prove a point. To make our downstairs look so good my husband would be surprised and shocked at the same time.

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Monday I started with my normal cleaning. Trying to get the house back in order from the weekend. Tuesday I focused on the kitchen. When my husband came home Tuesday night he could tell I CLEANED. Wednesday I focused on the living room. I was sweeping, moving furniture, throwing junk out and anything else I could do to clean that room. When he came home that afternoon he could tell I cleaned. He offered to move the couch for me so I could get behind there. I told him I already did it. He look at me and said “ you’re really taking this challenge seriously. I said “you got it!”

By late Thursday afternoon I had our entire downstairs looking good. The floors were swept and mopped. Whatever needed to be thrown out was gone. Everything that needed to be dusted was dusted. It did take him almost two hours to notice one of the areas that I cleaned, but once I heard him say “whoa” I knew he finally noticed. That did put a smile on my face.

I was proud of myself for all that I accomplished in our house this week. I was given a challenge, I accepted it and I got the job done. Now if I can only keep our downstairs looking this good all the time even I will be impressed.

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Incase your thinking I have a terrible husband who only cares about how the house looks. Let me assure you that isn’t the case. My husband loves me with all his heart. This I know for a fact. I mean he did take me to Ireland, England and France after all!

Taking this challenge was worth it in the end. Especially when I saw the impressed look on my husband’s face.

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Be Positive!

Be positive. Those are two words I hear quite frequently from my husband. Probably more like ninety-five percent of the time.

I admit I struggle with being positive. I tend to be more negative where as my husband is the positive one. People we know may not know this about us, but it’s true. He’s the positive one in our marriage and I tend to be the negative one.

I don’t like being negative. In fact I have to work at being positive. Doesn’t matter what the situation is either. If there is a doctor appointment my husband reminds me to be positive. If I have to deal with a bad situation he tells me to be positive.

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I have to purpose in my heart to be positive like Daniel did in Daniel 1:8. I wonder if it was easy for Daniel to be positive?

I do find on the days I purpose in my heart to be positive I have great days. I’m able to smile. To stay focused. To be happy. To get more things done around my house and my family tends to be happy as well.

For me being positive is a constant struggle. I don’t know why, but it is. I do like the days where I am able to beat the negativity, put a smile on my face and stay positive.

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This is something I need God’s help with. And I ask him for it all the time. I’m guessing I’m not the only person who struggles with this. Maybe we can all purpose in our hearts to pray for each other. To ask God to help us to have more positive days and to trust in Him.

What do you say?

 

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My First NYC ComicCon

I went to my first NYC ComicCon this past Thursday. My husband bought our tickets a couple of months ahead of time. He tried to explain to me what to expect. Like all the different comic booths, the different sci-fi booths and the people dressed in character costumes. I thought I was ready for the unexpected, but when we got there it wasn’t what I imagined at all.

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The first thing we did was get in a line so our tags could be scanned for a panel we wanted to see. After that we waited on another line to get in to the actual ComicCon “floor”. When we walked in I was completely surprised. It wasn’t at ALL what I expected. It was better!

My husband and I started walking around looking at all the different booths. Some were cool. Some were weird. We stopped at a good number of them to take a closer look at what they had.

While walking we noticed more and more people dressed in costumes. Again some were cool and some were weird. The nice thing about the people in costumes are, if you ask nicely, they will let you take their pictures. We found a couple of people that we thought were cool so we asked.

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We also had the chance to be a part of the audience for Melissa Joan Hart’s new movie The Watcher in the Woods 2017. They showed a ten minute preview then she and her mother talked about it and answered some questions. It was pretty cool for me to get to see her in person. Well sort of see her in person.

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We also joined an audience for a group of authors—one of whom is one of my husbands favorites. I even enjoyed listening to one of his books on audio when we were in Ireland for five weeks. (Scott Meyer, author of Off To Be the Wizard and other books)

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The last thing we did was a panel with Neil DeGrass Tyson and Adam Savage. They discussed the ethics of engineering humans (genetically or mechanically). It was entertaining, but they will always struggle trying to determine ethics and questions of philosophy and religion by only using science. They talked about needing a line in the sand for the rules but not wanting a hard line, more of a range. But they realized that wouldn’t work. They do a lot of hard thinking to try and avoid an absolute moral.

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Between all of this we ended up doing some Christmas shopping for our kids. We managed to get them some really cool stuff at great deals.

I don’t know if I would go back to another ComicCon. Don’t get me wrong it was a lot of fun and I had a great time. It was definitely an experience. But I’m not that into sci-fi to make it worth going back.

So why did I go if I’m not that into sci-fi? Because I’ve been curious about it for over four years now. This is the first year my husband and I remembered to look into buying tickets and actually did it.

below pictures you will find a short video.

 

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Is it a Bump or a Tumor

Hearing your doctor say the word tumor when your at your physical is never something you want to hear. And yet I did.

Let’s go back a little shall we. So about two weeks ago now I went for my physical. I figured I should tell my doctor about all that was bothering me physically. I let her know about my pulled muscle, a couple of other things and about the bump on my thigh.

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I thought for sure she was going to be more concerned about the pulled muscle, but she wasn’t. She was more concerned about the bump. After some poking and squeezing of the bump she decided an ultrasound was needed to find out what was going on. That’s when the dreaded word “tumor” was mentioned.

I made sure not to show fear of any sort and let her know that on the bright side it didn’t hurt. At least it didn’t until all the poking and squeezing. I also let her know that is the same spot where my dog loves to hit me hard with his tail.

The ultrasound was scheduled for a week and a half later. That was a week and a half filled with worry and stress of the unknown. Thinking of the what if’s. A week and a half of my imagination going wild. It was so bad I was already getting myself prepared for surgery. Yes, my imagination was getting way ahead of the situation. It always does!

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So Monday, September 25th was my ultrasound. It was the fastest ultrasound I ever had. Two days later I received my results. Which basically showed not much. You know what this means? It means the next step is an MRI.

So the question still remains. Do I have a bump on my left thigh from who knows what or is it a tumor? The answer as of right now is, I don’t know. I’m hoping and praying it’s only a bump from whatever. At this point it’s a waiting game with different tests to see what’s going on.

I will be sharing another blog when I get more information. Until then I’m praying for this to be nothing more then a bump.

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