Kathleen Smith's Blog, page 13

September 7th

Today is September 7, 2018 a day filled with mixed emotions for me. By the time you read this blog however today will be done and gone. That doesn’t mean my mixed emotions will be gone and forgotten. It only means they won’t be as hard to deal with until the next September 7th.

Today’s date was supposed to be a dual celebration. It was supposed to be the day my family celebrated my parents anniversary and celebrated the birthday of one of my kids. But things didn’t go well for me when it came to that baby. Over fourteen years ago I was pregnant and happy to be so. I was so excited to find out our baby was going to be born on the same day as my parents anniversary. I thought how cool will that be for our baby and my parents to be able to celebrate together. I was so excited I remember calling my mom to let her know the due date was September 7th. My parents were just as happy.

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Not long after that phone call I started to have problems. Not long after that I was on the phone with my midwife hearing her tell me to get to the hospital now. Not long after that I was sitting on a hospital bed, bleeding, listening to my midwife tell me I was having a miscarriage as we spoke. What a horrible thing to hear her say. It wasn’t her fault or mine either for that matter. But the feeling of heartbreak was there. The feeling of being a terrible wife was there. The feeling of why me AGAIN was there. The tears that quickly came to my eyes streamed down my face as my husband held me.

That day in the hospital was the weekend of Valentines Day. That day in the hospital I cried on my husband’s shoulder feeling terrible for loosing our baby. I felt like a failure for not being able to give my husband a big family. He cried too and reassured me he was more then happy with our family of four. The problem is that emotional pain lasted me for years. And when I say years I don’t mean one or two. I mean like a good four or more years.

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Even though I remembered this loss over the years we still enjoyed celebrating my parents wedding anniversary that day. That is until four years ago, four months after my parents 50th wedding anniversary when my mom passed away from cancer. All of a sudden that day, September 7th became a day of sadness all around. The day that I remember of what would have been one of my due dates and the day that was my parents anniversary. It’s a day filled with sadness for me. I suppose on the bright side I don’t cry anymore. And if you were to look at me on that one day of the year, you wouldn’t have a clue that I was sad over my loss, but that pain is still there.

 

Kathleen Smith has been an indie author for over 6 years. Among her books you can read about her miscarriages and how she and her husband got through them in Miscarriages My Story

Good Things To Know About Ireland

So my family and I have been staying in Ireland for a couple of weeks. At the beginning of this week I was trying to figure out what to blog about. As we were driving along the country side I was noticing the different green colors of Ireland and all the sheep in the fields. Then I started to think about the gas stations we like to stop at and the ruins we like to explore, not to mention all the little towns we pass through. There are also so many different styles of homes we see all over the countryside. As well as in the villages. That got me thinking, why not write about the places we like to go to, the things we like to see and the food we like to eat.

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First of all let me tell you about the green colors of Ireland. I mean there’s green and then there’s green. Ireland has dark green, light green and sometimes neon green colors. It’s truly a beautiful sight to behold and you know they don’t call it the Emerald Isle for nothing.

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The sheep in Ireland seem to be plentiful. After all they do use those animals to make some warm sweaters, scarfs and hats. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many sheep in one place. Some fields have what looks like hundreds of sheep where as other only have a few. And a good number of them have these colors on them as tags. Some of them are blue and some of them if I remember correctly are green. It is fun to watch those sheep and depending on where you are there is a good chance of seeing them standing smack in the middle of the road. In which case you have to wait patiently for them to move.

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As I said above there are also some gas stations that we seem to prefer over others. There is one in particular we have been going to this Summer called Topaz. It’s like a one stop shopping place for us. We get our gas when we need it. We also get our breakfast there. We very much enjoy their coffee, sausage rolls, white pudding, potato wedges, croissants and scones. Some of them even make a decent sandwich for lunch.

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Like I said before we love exploring the ruins of Ireland. Between the castles and the abbeys I can’t get enough of them. Sometimes it feels like the creepier they are the better. I know that probably sounds a bit sick, sorry about that. And that’s usually only the abbeys. As for those castles: the bigger the better. That gives us more to explore. I wish I could explain to all of you what my fascination is with castle and abbey ruins, but I can’t. I know they are cold damp places, but there is just something about them. I even like the clothes from the medieval times.

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There are two other places that I have found my family likes here in Ireland. The first is Tesco. We like shopping there. We find good deals when it comes to food shopping there as well as clothes if we go to a large Tesco. If your wondering what Tesco is that would be the equivalent to Walmart only in my opinion nicer.

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The second place is Boots. Boots is a pharmacy. There are other pharmacies in Ireland, but for some reason Boots happens to be the one we like. I don’t think there is any particular reason. Maybe because that’s the first pharmacy we found when we were in Ireland last year.

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So if you are ever in Ireland I would recommend these places to you. Whether it be for gas and breakfast at Topaz on your way to see some ruins, snacks at Tesco or shampoo and conditioner at Boots.

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger. Her books are all full of memories both good and bad. Among these books you can read Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate and learn what it was like for her going from Brooklyn to Upstate NY

Ancient Ruins of Ireland

I am back in Ireland and I plan to walk through as many castle and abbey ruins as I can!

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As much as I love walking through castles and abbeys I have found not all the castle ruins are the same. There are some castle ruins that are seriously cool to walk through. These particular ones people are walking through at their own risk, without a guide and usually with no other tourists around. These are also the best ones to walk through. My daughter and I can stay in these for hours if we had the time. We also have this habit of touching each one, just so that we can say we touched that particular ruin.

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Then there are the castle ruins like Trim Castle where you can take a walking tour. These are also very cool to walk through. Hearing about those castles history is also nice and informative. The only thing that stinks about those castles are you can’t walk where ever you like. There are parts of those castles that are blocked off. I imagine for the safety of people, but I want so badly to go into those areas. Don’t worry I always stay with the group. However my eyes do tend to wonder.

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The third and last of these castles are the ones where they have been renovated on the inside and restored to it’s original look or modernized somewhat. These are the castles where when you go inside you can see furniture and the plaster from where they did some fixing up. These castles sadly are my least favorite. They look so cool on the outside, but then you go in and it’s like they destroyed the ancient look from all the fixing up they did. It’s kind of gotten to the point now where my daughter and I rate the castles. We do find the ones that have been fixed up to be very disappointing.

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Lastly we have ancient abbey ruins. These ruins are just as cool to walk through as ancient castles. Sometimes they are more fun to walk through. The history behind them is completely fascinating. We enjoy looking at the different grave stones. Some are sad. Some are interesting. There happened to be one just recently that had the sir name of my mom’s family – McCann – whether this man was a relative of mine I don’t know and probably will never find out. It was cool to see my mom’s families name there though.

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I would love to see all the castle and abbey ruins in Ireland. This how ever is something that will take a very long time. Probably years since there is only so much time I get to spend in Ireland when visiting. Not to mention it’s impossible to see ALL of Ireland in one shot. I take what I can when I can and I love it.

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Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger. Her books are filled with memories both happy and sad. They will make you laugh and cry. Among these books is Miscarriages My Story

My Favorite Holiday

Looking back on my childhood I think it’s safe to say Christmas was my favorite holiday. I really liked all holidays growing up, but Christmas had to be without a doubt my favorite.

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When I was little my family used to go to my grandma Christiano’s house for Christmas Eve. This also happened to be where my two great aunts lived. I looked forward to Christmas Eve every year when I was little because that was the only day out of the entire year that I got to see my cousins from Ohio. I had such a good time playing with them. It didn’t matter if it was ping pong or some game we found, there was always something to do. We also had fun talking and doing whatever with all our great aunts and uncles that were there. OH, did I forget to mention that Christmas Eve was spent with my loud Italian family?

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We really did have a blast that day and well into the night. There was always food to be eaten. Starting with hors d’oeuvres and ending with all kinds of desserts with antipasto, some kind of a pasta, soup, salad, baccala and the main dish all in the middle. Basically we had a twelve course meal on Christmas Eve, I kid you not. How I managed to get all that food into my belly I’ll never know! The food was completely homemade and absolutely delicious. My two great aunts did all the cooking and baking and man did they know how to cook and bake.

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Naturally after a twelve course meal everyone was stuffed so we would all go down to the “store”. We called the downstairs the store because from my understanding that part of the house at one point was a bar. When it closed and was sold I don’t know. Nor do I know how it became a part of my families house, but it did and we spent many Christmas Eve’s having fun in that store. At some point during the night of Christmas Eve Santa would pay us a visit. Something us kids loved. We would received so many nice presents and of course we would show each other. I never told anyone this before, but there was one Christmas Eve when one of my cousins recognized my dad playing Santa and said something rather loudly. That’s when I learned that Santa wasn’t real. I was so crushed! It took everything I had not to cry that night, but I put on my brave face and didn’t let anyone know how sad I was to find out that night. I know she didn’t mean it and I’ve been over it for many many years now.

At some point my cousins parents decided to stop going to my grandma’s and great aunts house for Christmas. Why I don’t know, but that did make Christmas Eve way less fun after that.

 

Kathleen Smith is an indie author and blogger. You can read more about what it was like for her growing up in Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate .

The Old Neighborhood

Dahill Road may not sound familiar to most of you, but for me that was the name of the street I lived on in my old neighborhood. The particular part of that street where I lived was located between Church Avenue and Fort Hamilton Parkway in an area of Brooklyn called Kensington. When I was growing up and people would ask me where I lived I would always say on Dahill Road between Fort Hamilton Parkway and Church Avenue. For anyone who knew that area knew exactly what I was talking about and exactly where it was located. If I told someone who lived in a different area of Brooklyn I had to do more explaining.

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For the most part my old neighborhood was quiet. It was mainly an Italian neighborhood with a couple of Irish families along with some Jewish families and one or two Chinese families. All in all we were a pretty close community. For the most part we all knew each other. When someone needed a helping hand with whatever everyone pitched in. In the Summer times we had some pretty cool block parties. I remember my dad’s parents along with his aunts and uncle would come over and enjoy those days with us. We had tables and chairs set out on the sidewalk for us to eat on. There were rides for us kids and all sorts of fun things to do. We would stay up until late at night. Which for me at that time would probably have been 10pm, but who knows it could have been later.

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Some of the houses on that block were one family homes. Other’s like the ones we lived in were two family homes. The first two family house we lived in was a brick layered house. My family and I lived in the small back apartment on the second floor. Our landlord at that time was a Chinese family. They were one of the nicest families we knew. They often shared their homemade food with us and oh was it good. Sadly as my sister and I grew that apartment became to small for our family of four.

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We needed to move and found a place not to far away. When I say not to far I mean that quite literally. The next house was across the street and down the block. As sad as I was to move I was thankful that we were staying in our neighborhood. I remember we were offered to buy that house which had me excited. I thought it would be cool to have a house where we could paint the rooms whatever color we wanted. A place where if we wanted to we could have a pet. A place of our own. Sadly we were advised not to buy. Instead we rented again. This time we lived in the downstairs apartment. I will admit this new place had a lot more room for us and we finally had a dining room. I still had to share a bedroom with my sister, but hey it could have been worse.

We did enjoy living in this second house for years. We eventually were allowed a pet so we got a cat. We celebrated many birthdays in this house along with my parents anniversaries. We enjoyed having friends and family over in this house. And we enjoyed Christmas as well as other holidays. I had the pleasure of spending my childhood on Dahill Road and have many fond memories.

 

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger. You can read more about her family both in Brooklyn and in Upstate NY in her book – Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate available on the Kindle and KindleUnlimited

Afternoon Tea Birthday Style

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If you’ve read any of my blogs about afternoon tea whether it be in Ireland, England or Scotland or even all by itself, then you know how much my family and I enjoy it. The experience alone is super cool. The food is always yummy. The tea is tasty and the china sets are always pretty to say the least. So when our daughter asked if she could have afternoon tea with her friends and their mom’s for her birthday, her dad and I thought that was a good idea.

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This birthday afternoon tea took us two days to prepare. The first day was to get our house looking good for it. And making whatever food ahead of time that I could. The second day, which was also my daughter’s birthday was the day I made the finger sandwiches and little desserts. My  husband also made homemade scones which were delicious.

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We had a variety of foods which included: little round cucumber sandwiches with Crème fraîche on white bread. Egg salad sandwiches on rectangle shaped pumpernickel. Chunky chicken in tiny phyllo dough bowls. Homemade  blueberry scones and plain scones. Cream puffs. Macaroons. Tiny brownies with either chocolate drizzle or caramel drizzle and a piece of Oreo on top.

Then we had different teas to choose from. We had Coconut Lover, Persian Spice, Barry’s Irish Breakfast Tea and Moroccan Mint.

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We set up two tables in our living room and put enough of chairs around them. We used gold and silver table cloths. We used my mom’s good china that she gave me many years ago (she would be so happy to know we used her china ware for this birthday tea). We had four, three tier serving plates to put the food on. Oh, yes we also made sure we had clotted cream and two kinds of jams, strawberry and Raspberry. To top it all off my husband acted as our waiter for the afternoon. He did a great job too, I might add!

 

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This was the first afternoon tea our family and friends were invited to. Every one had a great time and the mom’s loved that we had “menus” to explain what each item was that we were eating along with what flavored teas we had to drink. A good time was, without a doubt, had by all, especially the birthday girl!

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger. She enjoys putting her memories into words for others to read like her book Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate . All her books are available on the Kindle Unlimited

Teenagers!

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Let’s talk about teenagers shall we! Here is what I have learned so far in living with three teenagers. If you’re reading this blog then I assume you have some teenagers of your own. If you don’t, get ready to learn a little bit about them! Teenagers are without a doubt a strange group of people. From ages thirteen to nineteen they are these people that live in your house that sometimes drive parents crazy. Sometimes love parents. Sometimes obey parents. Sometimes help parents out. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Do you get the point? I think most of the times these teenagers really do love their parents, they just don’t know how to show it, especially boys.

I mean seriously, sometimes from one minute to the next you have no idea as a parent what to expect. One minute they are as happy as can be the next minute they are either crying for no reason or they are as mad as can be, this would be the teen girls. And if looks could kill parents would be dead ten times over and then some.

I know there are differences between girls and boys at least physically speaking, but sometimes emotionally girls and boys are exactly the same. Well maybe not EXACTLY the same, close enough though. The hormone change that these teens go through can be unbearable at times. For the teenager as well as the parents. I know this from experience with my kids being the ages of thirteen to twenty-two. Okay so my oldest isn’t a teenager anymore (thank goodness), but it wasn’t all that long ago that she was going through the same struggles as my thirteen year old. I think maybe the only real difference is how she dealt with it compared to how my youngest is dealing with it. Along with my middle child who is nineteen. OH, by the way did I mention I have two girls and a boy? If not now you know! Aren’t you glad I told you (sarcasm).

 

ATTITUDE

The attitude of a teenager is something to behold. A parent can never tell from one day to another or from one minute to the next for that matter, how a teenager is going to react to something.

Is that teenager going to be happy, sad, angry, annoyed. Laugh at what their parents tell or cry. Are they going to stomp off in a heat of rage or will they try to reason with their parents. It’s ALL one big guessing game.  A guessing game that isn’t any fun. Not by a long shot.

 

EMOTIONS

Teenagers both girls and boys have these emotions that they don’t know what to do with. I have experienced this first hand with my teens.

The problem with this is I’ve found I need to handle it differently with my girls then I do my son. For example when my son gets mad he stops talking to everyone and walks away from them. This can last for days. This is a very Italian way of handling this emotions. I should know since I’m a pro at the no talking to you until I’m good and ready. Hhhmmm, I wonder where he gets that from.

My girls handle their emotions differently. They will cry at the drop of a hat and have no clue why they are doing this. Although I think it’s safe to say my oldest daughter has grown out of that. My youngest, however, it’s only the beginning for her. There are times when she will look at me and tell me she wants to cry, but she has no clue why. I simply tell her it’s because she is thirteen and her emotions are going crazy. I also tell her not to worry because it’s normal.

 

HORMONES

Ah, those crazy, awful hormones that teens get. Those feelings that make teens not know if they are coming or going. That time when both boys and girls start going through the change from a kid to a teen. Where their voices start changing. For boys their voices usually get deeper.

This is also the time when boys need to start learning how to shave their faces. And girls their their legs and under arms. When it comes to these hormones the girl teen has more to deal with. 

Let me tell you when you combine these hormones with emotions look out because that teenager is ready to kill everyone and anyone who gets in their sight. All of a sudden mom and dad become the enemy who has no clue what the teen is going through. But I always tell my teens “news flash been there done that!”  I usually get the look after that. You know that if looks could kill, look.

Walking on Country Roads

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I enjoy walking on country roads which in all honesty is something I never thought I would say. Sometimes I will do this on my own during the day, while listening to some music. Or sometimes with only the sounds of nature. Most of the time though I prefer walking with my husband. It’s a time for us to get a little exercising done and a chance to talk. Other times I go with my husband and our dog. He loves it when we take him for walks.

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I haven’t always been like this. Meaning I haven’t always enjoyed going for walks on country roads. At least not by myself. Around where we live there are a lot of fields that get hayed so we can easily see past these fields. I like being able to see past and beyond these fields. There are also acres of land with homes on them. Again easy enough to see. Before we moved to our house we lived in another area of Upstate New York where the roads were covered by bushes and trees with the occasional farm land. As silly as this may sound I was always scared to go for walks by myself at that house. I was scared someone was going to pop out from one of those bushes. Like I said silly, I know, but that’s how I felt. My husband would always tell me that wasn’t going to happen. A lot of good that did.

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Before that we lived in a town called Cobleskill. Again I was a bit on the afraid side to go for walks by myself. I didn’t like the idea of walking around the unknown. I didn’t know the area at all and the idea of not being able to remember street names and getting lost wasn’t something I was interested in.

Here I am almost 24 years later and I FINALLY enjoy taking walks on country roads. Yes, It’s taking me that long to have the confidence I need to take a walk by myself in the country. I still prefer going with my husband, but I will do it alone occasionally.

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You want to hear something funny? Well before ALL this I use to take walks in Brooklyn. I loved going for walks in Brooklyn. That was always fun to do because most of the time I was with my mom and we would do window shopping along the way. Or we would stop for some ice cream. Maybe actually buy something. I never thought anything of walking by myself in Brooklyn either. I was surrounded by people. Whether I knew them or not it didn’t matter. They were walking just like I was. Sometimes I would see someone I knew and stopped to talk with them. I have always found walking in Brooklyn to be easier then walking on a Country road. Maybe because of the business of the “city”. Who knows. But hey at least now after almost 24 years of living in Upstate New York I can enjoy walking here too.

 

 

 

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger among her books you can read about her city and county living in Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate

Scotland: Edinburgh and More

Scotland, a Christmas present from my husband. A trip for just the two of us. No kids only Andrew and I. I honestly wasn’t sure how to write this blog about Scotland. I was going to do it day by day then I decided to write what I could remember in no particular order. So here we go!

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Normally when we take a trip overseas we rent a car. This time was no different with one exception. We figured since it was the two of us we would rent a car my husband always wanted to drive, a Jaguar convertible. It was definitely a nice car and rather comfortable. It also didn’t take much for that thing to go fast. We had one nice day where we could put the top down so we took advantage of that nice weather and enjoyed that experience. My husband had me drive for a bit one day. I was completely nervous, but I did it. You can watch a tiny video of me driving it at the end of this blog.

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We stayed in Edinburgh for a couple of days where we enjoyed walking up and down The Royal Mile. We did some shopping. Mostly gifts for our kids with a couple of things for ourselves one of which was a nice Harris tweed sports coat my husband has been wanting for a while now. We took a tour of Edinburgh Castle. We did a free walking tour around the city. The guy was funny and he spoke fast, so he kept my attention.
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Besides for Edinburgh Castle we toured as many other castles as we could. Stirling Castles was okay to me. Not as impressive as the other medieval castles were. What can I say, I have this thing for medieval Castles and their history. I always have. I love getting to walk around them and touch them. I find them absolutely fascinating. Right next to one of these medieval castles was Loch Ness and no we didn’t see any sea monsters.

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While in Scotland we drove through Glencoe. We accidentally got to see the bridge the train drives on in Harry Potter. That was pretty cool. The mountains were rather stunning and the Scottish Country side is pretty to say that least. We spent some time in the Isle of Sky. Sadly it rained that entire day.

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During our time in Scotland we stayed in a couple of places. Our first night there we stayed at The Witchery by the Castle. A very nice hotel right near Edinburgh Castle. When I say nice I mean I was completely wowed. We stayed in a suite that made us feel like royalty. It also felt like we were on our second honeymoon. Very nice indeed! We also stayed in a cute cottage and a bed and breakfast. Both were nice. Lastly we spent two nights in a nice hotel.

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My husband and I did lots and lots of walking. In total for the week we walked 40 miles. Rain or shine we walked. OH, My Husband was also kind enough to take me to a couple of places where the show Outlander was filmed! Which reminds me we took a tour of the Culloden Battlefield. That was a much larger field then I realized. We also saw some of the clan stones.

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After walking along The Royal Mile and Victoria Street we can see where the author got her inspiration for the famous Harry Potter books. If you ever get the chance to walk along these streets you will be able to understand too.

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger among her books you can read about her city and county living in Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate

A Beautiful Wedding Day

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Last weekend was Memorial Day weekend, but for my family it was more then that. That was the weekend my daughter got married. And what a beautiful wedding day it was! It was a cloudy day, but the scattered thunder showers that were suppose to happen were kind enough not show their ugly faces. There is also a good chance that I am completely bias since the bride is my daughter, but I think she was the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen. And I have to say the groom looked extremely handsome as well.

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The day of my daughters wedding started with all the girls, including me, and my daughter’s future mother-in-law getting our hair done. A fun time was had by all. We talked. We laughed. We shared stories. We even had breakfast together. When we were all done getting our hair styled we then had our make up done. By the way I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much hairspray in my hair as I did that day! Anyway, lets move on.

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So when we were all done with our hair and makeup we went back to the house where my daughter and future husband will be living. That’s where the fun continued. We all got changed into our gowns and got ready for the wedding. The girls all looked beautiful. Ruth, my daughter’s mother-in-law looked beautiful and my daughter looked absolutely stunning in her wedding gown. I had the pleasure of helping her get in her gown. After that her maid of honor helped her with everything else since my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. What can I tell you, I was nervous and trying not to cry tears of joy.

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Now I know the wedding was all about the bride and groom, but I was super nervous about being escorted down that Church aisle knowing so many people were going to be watching. And I’m pretty sure I forgot to smile and looked down, but hey like I said I was nervous. I am happy to say that Church was packed with all of our family and friends who the bride and groom know and love. Watching Ruth and all the other girls walking down the aisle was nice to see. Watching my daughter walk down that aisle, with her arm around her daddy’s arm, that touched my heart. It made me so happy and proud. I have to say that Church looked beautiful with all the decorations my daughter had. It was a joy to sit by my husband’s side watching our baby get married. The ceremony was so nice. Watching the bride and groom saying their vows to each other with the love on their faces and then watching them make the eternity braid. It was all very special.

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I have to say the reception was just as packed with loved ones as the Church was and it was just as beautiful. We had the reception at Hales Mills Country Club. That place was perfect and the food was so delicious. I would highly recommend this place to anyone. We had such a good time at the reception. We ate. We danced. We had cake. OH, that cake! It was such a beautiful cake! I mean how often do you get a cake that looks beautiful and tastes so good. Even the little kids who were at the reception were in awe of that cake.

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It was also a lot of fun watching the photographer take pictures of the bride and groom as well as everyone else in the wedding, including my husband and I. Tamara of Simply Sunflower Photography has an amazing way of capturing the beauty in every picture she takes (The photos here with the Sunflower watermark are some of what she took). I am truly thankful that she was the person taking the pictures at my daughters wedding. She captured the beauty of my daughter. She captured the handsomeness of the groom. Most of all she captured the love that’s between them. I don’t know how far Tamara is willing to travel, but if you can get her to take your pictures whether it be of a wedding, a senior graduating for High School or family photo’s, she is the person you want.

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Here’s a funny thing. At the reception my daughter and her brides maids were talking about the decorations and how she got all her ideas from Pinterest. They said Pinterest would be happy. So I guess you could sort of say my daughter had a Pinterest reception.

 

Kathleen Smith is an author and blogger. Her book Good-bye Brooklyn Hello Upstate can be found on kindle Unlimited along with most of her other books.