Lucy V. Morgan's Blog, page 8

Flapjack Guest Post & CHAIRMAN OF THE WHORED Giveaway

[image error] I'm over at Scorching Reviews today to talk you through Leila's favourite flapjack recipe and give away another advance copy of Chairman of the Whored. Click here to read and enter! It's open until Feb 20th.

You can also read Scorching's rather awesome and in-depth review of Chairman right here.

Happy Friday: In Which My Supportive Husband Is A Raving Metrosexual

It started with "gay day."

Yes. This is what the husband's ops manager refers to a team bonding day as. So husband and his assistant hopped off on a road trip, where they allegedly did things like both go quiet when Lana Del Ray's Videogames came on the radio until one of them admitted they liked it. Oh phew, said the other. So do I!

Assistant, later drunk, confessed to an entire pub that he had a "snod." That's a penis wider than it is longer. Apparently. I cannot think about this without going red and choking.

And tonight. Tonight the husband decides to paint his nails glittery black. Half way through, he pauses, looks up and says, "am I metro?"

[image error] Please excuse my cruddy Blackberry photo.
Then he farts with epic projection.

I think we have our answer.

99 Problems But A Pitch Ain't One

...except when it is. Help.

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I'm in the process of writing my first YA novel (indeed, I shall have a whole new YA website soon). I need to write a pitch--they're handy, pitches--and yet I'm having a serious write-fail.

I can write pitches for other peoples' books. I don't mind saying I rather rock at that. And I spent months and months as an intern, reading other peoples' YA pitches. So why isn't it happening? Why won't the awesomeness of this WiP shrink into a neat little package of blurb-tastic horn tooting? [Shakes fist]

Please give me your pitch-writing tips. I will be eternally grateful. I will brave a dinner of "fish with eyes" (as the four-year-old puts it) with an almost-smile on my face.

(Incidentally, the one-sentence pitch for this contemp scifi thriller is "seventeen-year-old troubled genuis goes on the run with his dad's lab "project": a girl who is proof that memories are spores." That took me ten seconds, but it doesn't want to inflate any further).

Hit me!

P.S. Last chance to enter the giveaway for an advance copy of CHAIRMAN OF THE WHORED!

Happy Friday: A Most Erotic Conversation

Really, in fact. This is the dirtiest thing you'll read this week, and it occurred in the car the other day with my Supportive Husband.

Dear reader...we were talking about this:

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Me: ...Actually, I think my biggest indulgence this week is the emo toilet paper. Which is quite sad.

H: D'you know what, though? I walk into the bathroom and it totally brightens the place up.

Me: Really?

H: Really.

[Pause]

Me: It's only limited edition. Which is sort of frightening.

H: It is? Shit. We need to BUY IT ALL, RIGHT NOW.

[Another pause]

Me: You're serious, aren't you?

Psst: click here to win an advance copy of Chairman of the Whored, my awesome feat of erotic mastery (also known as "debut novel").

Happy New Year & Win an Advance Copy of CHAIRMAN OF THE WHORED

Ladies and gentlemen: welcome to January. I hope it sees you well.

I've had a very awesome year. I sold two books, published another myself, started script work. I had a lot of fun on my internship (where I met my rather marvellous critique partner, Christa). I moved to the coast, did much swimming...okay, okay, I'll shut up about that now!

[image error] Moving on: I've had a pretty great reception for BEAUTIFUL MESS, my first release, and I'm very grateful. In return, I want to start the new year with a bang (perhaps literally. Ahem) and offer you the chance to win an advance e-copy of CHAIRMAN OF THE WHORED, my upcoming novel and the first in the Whored series. It's the story of one rather mixed-up girl, two very mixed-up men, and the resulting hot mess they get themselves into. Dirty, dirty lawyers. Good job that office has a cleaner, eh?

The contest will run from now until January 20th--which means the winner receives the prize a whole month before the official release date.

If you'd like to enter, you can do one of two things:

1) Leave a comment below. Please make sure I have a way to contact you--either leave your email address on the comment, or sign in with your Blogger name etc.

2) Send an email to lucyvmorgan@gmail.com with "Chairman giveaway" in the subject line (I promise not to spam you in future, or send you inappropriate pictures of dogs).

In the meantime, I'd like to wish you all a very happy new year full of cake, luck and phenomenal cosmic power.

Oh, and world peace. Some of that, too. Ahem.

Olly's Christmas Gift Guide

Olly of Beautiful Mess stopped by at Books and Kisses today to talk about what he's buying Tom, Linc and Bailey for Christmas. And it includes the word fucktoads, so you should probably read it.

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Happy (Festive) Friday

Do you hear that? The strange cooing sound closely followed by a bleat of manical laughter? That would be my weekend calling: you are wodged to the gills with STUFF, Lucy. No break for you! Muahaha!

Is anyone else this batshit busy close to Christmas? Where did all these errands come from...?

Still. It has been a good week in authorland:

1) BEAUTIFUL MESS hit iBooks/iTunes, and it's doing rather well (I hit the top of the romance charts in Australia. This is the part where I put on a terrible accent and say stuff like "g'day, mate!" Ahem. I'm also resisting all puns on erotica doing well Down Under....ah, wait. See what I did there? I'll be quiet now). Anyway, if you've downloaded it (you should. It's free. Don't look a gifthorse in the webpage), merci.

2) First edits for THE WHORED'S PRAYER are done and dusted. There's nothing quite like reading through your manuscript, tweaking bits for your editor and thinking, "this needs more knife sex." I know, I know--bet it happens to you all the time.

3) I've started work on the pilot episode for BLOOD FIZZ POP. The new year will hopefully bring some more news in that regard, preferably in the form of production companies falling to their knees and vigorously masturbating over the pitch. I will even hand them tissues and peel their grapes for afters. (The closest it came to this during the last meeting was actually me spilling hot chocolate over myself in a Bridget Jones-esque  fashion. Not really the hot erruption I was after).

4) I have liquor. Liquor liquor liquor.

I shall leave you with this. It cheers me up.
[image error] I'm festive and I know it

13 Things You Didn't Know About Me (but could probably guess, if you've ever seen me drunk)

I'm over at The Book Bordello today answering 13 Fun Questions, where I talk about molesting pop stars,  Nutella, and cheese. (Not all at once, but hey, there's my next novella sorted!).

Tomorrow, I'll have a pretty cool report on a meeting with some TV producer types. I might even have cooler news. Or since my 20 year-old brother is coming down to babysit, I may just have a traumatised, chocolate covered four year-old. Hmm...

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I think we can all see that this is not going to end well.

Things I Have Discovered This Week

1) My four year-old believes "Daddy is my daddy, Grandma is my mummy...and you are the dog."

2) Amaretto is awesome in porridge. But possibly not at ten AM.

3) I can't make a sheep costume to save my life.

4) My characters get jealous of each other when I work on more than one project at once. The heroes, mainly. Tetchy pair of ingrates.

5) There is little quite as funny as a sock monster with a huge cock.

And that was some of the news.

Launch Day! BEAUTIFUL MESS

Excuse me while I do the seahorse dance (it's not graceful; you don't need to see it). Yes, my debut novella is now live and ready to make a sticky mess of your e-reader--or maybe just turn it a bit glowy, if you want to be classier. And here is my official launch post: the article Honesty, Intimacy and Uncomfortable Truths: Why I Write Erotica, which is hosted by the lovely Kenny Wright (who also designed my pretty cover).

[image error] Beautiful Mess is an erotic romance novella starring the recently dumped Bailey and her YouTube celebrity room-mates. You can read the blurb here and the first chapter here.

What's more, you can now buy it! Squee! In fact you can download it for free at Smashwords, All Romance Ebooks and Goodreads, or if you'd like it sent to your Kindle via Amazon US or UK, it'll cost you very little.

I've been lucky enough to have two reviews through already, and you can see them over at Sizzling Hot Reviews and Scorching Reviews. And I'm only just started on the blog tour.

If you've already bought it, requested an arc, or written a review--thank you, thank you, thank you. Now, one more time: seahorse dance...