Lucy V. Morgan's Blog, page 3

Thirteen days to TAINTED TOUCH...

And oh, look at that. Come back on March 31st when TAINTED TOUCH releases, and you can even read the rest of it...

Favourite Reads

I've been meaning to do this post for aaaaages. Today, I'd like to share with you some of my all-time favourite books.

I'm an eclectic reader. I love a bit of smut--especially the darker stuff--but I'm always skipping between genres. These books are part of the tapestry of my life, stories I always come back to. If you like my work, you might like some of these...and if you don't, you might like them anyway. Because they're awesome.


Jacqueline Carey's KUSHIEL series My love affair for this alternate history/fantasy saga began on a plane to the Maldives, which is rather glamorous, hmm? I'd picked up the second book (unknowingly) at a store not long beforehand, and thought it would make an excellent companion for the thirteen hour flight due to its sheer size. And I was right.

Carey takes us to an alternate 17th century Europe, and introduces us to Phedre, a courtesan "cursed" to find pleasure in pain. Her worldbuilding is intricate and intoxicating, and her characters are layered, shadowy beasts. The sheer scope of these books is breathtaking. Carey has built a global subculture around these books; she regularly shares fan art and fan tattoos on her Facebook page.

Start at the beginning with Kushiel's Avatar. (You may find the maps and huge dramatis personae intimidating--unless you're a George RR Martin fan, anyway. Press on. I promise, it's worth it).


Falling Under by Danielle Younge-Ullman Current romance trends have spawned a whole subgenre of books featuring abused heroines working through their issues by exploring both their sexual and emotional selves. This is one of the "originals"--first published in 2008--and it does not disappoint in its grit or brevity. If you've recently enjoyed The Siren by Tiffany Reisz or Unteachable by Leah Raeder, you should give this beautifully written novel a go.





The Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Suzanne
This book is what Mad Men would be if it was all about the women. Set in the same era, it follows three young women on their individual paths to self-destruction. It is pulp fiction with fat spatterings of depressing realism, but I loved the characters all the same. A classic, and a thought-provoking read.









Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
I miss Crichton. I was probably more upset by his death than I was about Buffy being cancelled, which is quite the feat. I'm a sucker for contemporary sci fi thrillers, and Jurassic Park managed to be wonderfully escapist to boot. The book goes into a lot more scientific detail than the film, and I adore this kind of thing because I come away feeling like I've learned something.













The Last Hour of Gann by R. Lee Smith
I only read this one recently, but it's one of my favourite reads for a long time. A sci fi/fantasy romance featuring...a lizard dude. You may think this isn't sexy; you see my lurve for the raptors above, so I was already half gone before throwing myself into this. But still, I like to describe this book as Jacqueline Carey and Joss Whedon having babies. It's something of a slow burn, but the world-building is done so carefully and the characters are so engrossing that I loved stretching it out, really taking my time with it--it's the posh box of chocolates of the book world, even if one of them is lizard flavoured. Read it.




Curio by Cara McKenna
Hot French male prostitute book. I actually don't read a great deal of straight romance/erotica (I'm too cynical. Weep) but this is something else.

This is erotica at its most introspective and provocative. The heroine is smart and believable, and the hero is a beautifully wrapped enigma. I've read a few of McKenna's books, but this one really stands out for me in terms of originality.











BZRK & BZRK Reloaded by Michael Grant
Contemporary sci fi thrillers about nanotechnology. Loads of blood and guts--those nanobots get "down in the meat," as the characters say. The series comes pretty damn close to the glory of Crichton, though Grant's voice has a blunt, wry edge. These books have crack-tastic plots and geeky characters soaked in various shades of grey, with a satisfying romantic subplot. I wish I could write stuff like this.

TAINTED TOUCH: Cover & First Chapter

I hope you're ready to meet Art Lyons, the younger brother of Aidan (from the Knives & Flowers books). He "releases" (ahem!) March 31st, and if you scroll down, you can read the first chapter too...

Available at Amazon, B&N & iTunes
GOODREADS

Twenty-year-old Caitlyn McCoe likes logic, cake and breaking a sweat. In that order. What she doesn't like is the fact that her manipulative ex, Dominic, has crawled out of the woodwork after their breakup last summer. She needs to concentrate on passing her business degree, not telling him to get lost. But fantasising about Fist Candy--the boxer she loves to watch at the gym, where she works--is excellent escapism. He's beautiful, untouchable...and safe.

Until he's her new co-worker. And then he's not safe at all.

Art Lyons was a rising star on the boxing circuit and a brilliant student. Then he dropped out, disappeared, and has just resurfaced as the new sports massage therapist at Caitlyn's gym. He doesn't want to talk about why he's no longer at uni; he doesn't want to explain the tattooed slashes across his hip.

But he's troubled by the connection he feels between the punch bag and the brush of a lover's fingers. He wants to use his hands to heal, not hurt. Caitlyn clams up when her friends go to hug her; after Dominic, something changed beneath her skin, twists the things she feels. If Art can find a way to reach beyond that, he could help her. She could heal him.

That's if they don't break each other first...
***  CHAPTER ONE

Sweat. It drips on my grey foam exercise mat as I push out another hard breath. I will master the push-up. I will make it my bitch. It's not like Hans, the instructor from hell, is giving me a lot of choice about the matter. From my spot near the back of the studio, I can see him demonstrating the push-up by balancing on one tanned, ripped forearm. Damp blond hair sticks to his fine cheekbones, and a purple ClimaCool t-shirt gapes just a little to reveal his pecs. Dubstep pounds in my ears.Each drop of sweat that falls on my mat is proof of my dizzying effort, and Hans has promised me results. Whenever we reach the last five minutes of his Combat Blitz class and I'm struggling through the conditioning work, I comfort myself with his honesty: Work for what you want. Earn the body, and it will come. God, I'm working. My obliques would scream if they were able, and my abs wouldn't be far behind. I'll ache for days.If only Hans didn't bat for the other team, hmm? The only guy who never lies to me, and he's gay. That said, unless Hans is into red-faced brunettes who look constipated when they do jumping jacks, I'd be out of luck anyway. Even though my yoga pants fit a lot better since I started his class."Last round," Hans bellows over the grinding static of the music. "Finish this!"Last round means another twelve push-ups. I ignore the pain in my neck and glance sideways at Vicky, my best friend. Beneath her freckles, she's almost as flushed as me she balances over her own mat. Dark blond waves tumble from her loose ponytail and into her face."Sadist," Vicky hisses in Hans' direction. He grins like a Cheshire cat, throwing her a sly wink as he pumps up and down on his thick arms. As usual, he makes the workout from Hades look effortless.She blows wavy hair out of her eyes. I hate him, she mouths. I nod in sympathy, gritting my teeth. Five...four...three...two..."And we're done!" Hans rolls back on to his knees and then come to stand. Even he's out of breath. "Ace work. Okay...stretches. Child's pose, people."The dubstep fades, and soothing piano music spills from the speakers. I take a moment to pull back into child's pose, my hands stretched forward, my sticky forehead meeting the cool mat. A sense of pride floods my poor, adrenaline-wasted brain; I survived another hour of torture. I even feel good for it. Exercise being awesome--I'm still getting used to that, even though I've been doing this for over a year now. Thank you, body. I think. As we stretch, I float off into thoughts of the upcoming spa session. Vicky and I have a routine now--we allow Hans to beast us twice a week. Then we head straight to the gym pool to swim off the trauma, followed by a long, aromatic soak in the steam room and Jacuzzi. Finally, we take leisurely showers, taking turns to bring in new products that leave our hair shiny and our skin smelling like cinnamon and pomegranates (or whatever smug crap we're into that week). If we're feeling especially virtuous then we'll cook something healthy; if we're too tired to think, we go to the pub. Rock and roll, my friends. And they told me college would be crazy. Hans leads us through some combat blocking to finish. We bring our hands together in a final bow, and then I lunge for the air conditioning unit, draping myself over it with a groan of relief. Cool air blasts against my hot muscles and makes me realise just how damp with sweat my clothes are."Anyone would think the unit was a dude," Vicky says, one pale eyebrow lifting in dismay. "Stop grinding on it.""I'm not grinding. I'm just..." I pant. "It's how I'm breathing!""Come on." She brandishes her water bottle. "I need a refill."I peel myself off the unit to swipe my bottle, mat and towel. Then we head down to the drinks machine and fountain, both of which are inconveniently stuffed at the end of the corridor. We have to weave through a hoard of Hans's next victims just to get into the hall. "I propose a pub night," Vicky declares. "Unless you want to cook, that is. All I can think about are nachos covered in chilli and ludicrous amounts of cheese.""What happened to that diet thing you were doing?""After that class? It can go fuck itself." She mops her brow with the corner of her blue towel. Vicky's on a mission to lose twenty pounds, despite the fact that she has one of those figures that suits extra curves. If I could eat more cake and wear it the way she does, I totally would. "Although there's always the Cupboard of Shame," she adds. Said cupboard is in the top left corner of our tiny kitchen, and is where we keep the Nutella. And the Haribo. And the vodka. In the spirit of guilty pleasures, we also have a tacky naked firemen calendar hanging on the door. My mood lifts immediately, and not because we're walking past the boxing gym. "What kind of choice is that to offer me? Pub or shame?" I complain. "We could hit the cupboard after the pub," she says pragmatically. "That would be time-efficient.""Time-efficient binging is the best kind, true.""Then we're agreed." She feeds a couple of coins into the vending machine and stabs the keys. Beside the machine, the boxing gym door is propped open by a plastic chair. Two guys in nothing but track pants are huddled in the middle of the room, deep in discussion as they swing fat red gloves on strings. Then, my eyes are drawn elsewhere. In the far corner, a tall shape is smacking the living shit out of a black punch bag. He drives in one fist after the other, and each hit echoes loudly as the bag creaks on its chain. Slap, slap, slap, slapslapslap. There's almost something dirty about that rhythm. I find myself zeroing on the way the muscles in his broad back rove beneath his skin; how the sweat glistens in pleasing evidence of his hard work. Dark hair, cut short enough to be tidy but long enough to form cute peaks when damp, licks the nape of his neck. And I find myself wondering how the punch bag feels. How it gives like flesh beneath his fingers. "Caitlin?" Vicky pokes me in the ribs, but I don't flinch. "Are you getting anything?" The boxer glances back just for a moment, allowing me a glimpse of his profile. I can't tell the colour of his eyes from here, but I notice how they widen briefly. How they flare. I swear white teeth play along his full bottom lip. As he twists, a flash of colour at his hip becomes apparent; ink, rough slashes. Then he's lost to the punch bag again, all thrusting fists and flushed skin and breath spewing in soft grunts. A stranger showing more than he ought to in public--things I couldn't touch if I wanted to. Undercurrents. Prickles that needle the back of my neck. He's angry, but it's more than that."Cat? Are you getting a drink, or what?"I glance around at Vicky, whose brow is creased in annoyance. "Yeah, sorry." I fumble about, trying to position my bottle beneath the fountain. At least I'm too red for her to notice my blushing. "Should probably put some water into my Pepsi stream."I can't help it--I peer back through the gym doors, where he's moved on from beating living shit and appears to be going for the firmly deceased. The flush has spread to his shoulder blades, and they glide up and down like knives in the hands of an astute butcher. Cold water gushes over my fist as the bottle overflows; I do nothing about it. How embarrassingly Freudian. Vicky mock-huffs beside me. "When you've finished perving, I'll be in the locker room," she announces.I don't even bother to answer; I just mirror her good-natured, crooked grin, and bring my wet hand to my forehead. It's cold enough to make me sigh. In a minute, I'll have to follow Vicky, if I want to make it in time to swim. But I let my gaze linger over the boxer's back one last time. I gulp down cold water and drink in the sight of him--punch after punch, slap after slap, and the water cools my belly as his punches warm me, lower down. He is Fist Candy, and deserving of proper nouns.The heat of my pulse is opiate and delirious. More, more, says the quiver in my blood. I've become a junkie in the space of two minutes and I can't find it in me to be embarrassed for a single blink. Shame lifts like a shadow, easing its stiff fingers one at a time.                         ***
The thing about the boxer is that he's an unfamiliar face. I spend my weekends working on the gym reception, so I usually recognise customers. But not him, and not because I mostly just stared at his back. I'll probably never see him again--even if I did, I doubt he'd look twice at me--but there's always a sliver of possibility in the unknown, and tingles of hope flood my veins when I remember him, stirring nerves long-neglected and muscles unstretched. He's like my own personal Cupboard of Shame. So of course, now there's only one way to survive a lecture on the European Working Time Directive: close my eyes, let the drone of my tutor fade away, and conjure the filthy look on Fist Candy's face when he took out his frustration on the punch bag. Only I'm yanked from my revelry by a firm hand grasping my knee. "If you don't stop tapping your bloody foot," Rich mutters as he pushes my knee down, "I'm going to--to--""To what?" I hiss.He scowls at me from beneath his mad explosion of chestnut curls. "I dunno. But...something. Be afraid.""I'm terrified. No, really.""You should be," Drew, his twin brother, warns from my other side. "In fact, don't let him use your bathroom. No good can come from that." "You're both disgusting," I whisper back, weary of other students' eyes as they twist in their seats to glare. "I don't know why I put up with you."Drew grins, wide and white. "Because we're clever shits?""Photogenic clever shits. I bet you were never as popular on Instagram before you met us," Rich adds. I snort. I'm hardly "popular on Instagram," but Drew and Rich are Gods of the Selfie and insist on recording our study sessions in pixels, usually between ordering cheap pizzas from the Iranian place around the corner, and trying to outdo each other on Candy Crush. Ah, how grateful I am that they fell into my life--literally. On the second night of Fresher's Week, around about two a.m., a monumentally drunk Drew crashed clean through my dorm room door with his trousers around his ankles. Apparently, he got lost on the way back from the bathroom. We've been friends ever since--they came as a package deal-- but not a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, you understand, despite Drew's initial lack of trousers. They're both awfully photogenic; all caramel skin and glossy black eyes, and Drew wears his curls longer, tied back in a ponytail. But they're also not afraid to fart in front of me or tell me that I have lipstick on my teeth. Our lecture finishes with a bunch of graphs suggesting that the EU directive has boosted employment figures, and thus benefited the economy. We have to write an essay on its political implications; deep joy. I chose a business degree because, as Drew once put it, I like to manipulate logic for my own personal gain. Ahem. Politics, however, is the manipulation of lies, so politics and I do not get on. Finishing this essay will be like the last five minutes of a Hans beasting. Not funny.I'm escorted from the new-build lecture theatre--and back into the old building--in a Rich and Drew sandwich. People have no choice but to walk around us, even if it means holding their iPads aloft. The School of Law, Business and Economics is, for the most part, a sixteenth century behemoth that Foxfield University calls Earl Waverley. We call it Hogwarts due to its hilltop position, mess of staircases and eerie stone spires. On bright February afternoons like this, the sun spills down through high windows in arched rafters and turns the halls milky gold. We all look drizzled in syrup. "So." Rich yanks a bottle of Sprite from his leather satchel. "Plans for tonight?"Drew groans. "He's got the handbag again. I told him, I can't be seen with a bloke who has a handbag, but--""It's a satchel. And it's fucking fashionable." Rich throws me a pout. "Isn't it?""It is. I think." I nod. "It's very metrosexual.""See?" Drew holds up an accusatory finger. "Handbag.""You talk as if metro's an insult," Rich goes on, completely unaffected. "It's not. In fact it's not even a sexuality--it's a state of self-awareness that suggests one values their appearance over the opposite sex.""It's like talking to Wikipedia," Drew complains. "I haven't even got a brother anymore, you know that? I've got a SatNav that thinks it's a black David Beckham."Rich rolls his eyes. "Ignore him and answer my question, Cait. Out tonight?"We duck out of the huge doors and stalk down the stone steps to the car park. A light breeze ruffles my hair, and exhaust fumes mingle with the scent of fresh greenery."Why? You angling for an invite?" I ask. He looks shifty, clasping the strap of his bag. "Maybe.""What Becks here is getting at," Drew announces, "is whether Vicky is going with you. And if so, will you please let him tag along on the off chance she decides to grace him with her vagina?" He smirks. "Again."Rich withers back into himself, blushing. "Oh. I see. I see what's happening here." We reach the boys' red Volkswagon and I lean against it, folding my arms. "I'm flattered you're so desperate for my company, Rich.""It's just--I mean...." He shrugs helplessly. "She hasn't texted or anything.""And she said she would?""She gave me her number.""When he asked for it," Drew adds, shaking his head. His ponytail bobs from side to side. "Hey. She took my number, too," Rich protests. "Wasn't like it was one-sided, or anything."I give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "If you were worrying about it all, you only had to ask me.""Maybe he asked Wikipedia first," Drew muses, "and panicked when it didn't know.""You can sod off," Rich mutters. "I just wondered if she'd be around tonight, is all.""She's at the theatre, I think. They're practising loads for this big production." "Oh." He looks crestfallen. "I s'pose I'll leave you alone, then.""I'm going to make a start on that stupid essay," I say forlornly. "You're more than welcome to do that with me, if you like?"Drew glances over, his eyes wide with hope. "Is there cake?""Haven't baked any.""And why the fuck not?""Because I'm not your slave?" I end up talking into his armpit as he grabs me for a playful squeeze. I have to spit out a mouthful of check shirt.  It sets my teeth on edge. "Suffocating me won't help, by the way.""Sorry. I'm not allowed to release you until I have a confirmed date for cake."Rich brandishes his phone, where an image of last week's amaretto apple muffins lights the screen in all its Instagram filter glory. "Actually, it's been eight days since you baked anything, Cait. You feeling okay?""I've been busy having a life," I protest, trying to step out of Drew's grasp as casually as possible.He releases me, looking wounded. "It saddens me that it doesn't include looking after your menfolk."I scrunch my face at him. "Ew.""I meant in the kitchen!""Keep digging." I tuck handfuls of hair behind my ears, trying to control the wind-teased frizz. I'm absolutely not going to admit that I've had too many Fist Candy butterflies this week to think about baking anything, but I feel exposed, as if they can tell. "I'll come and help with the essay. Because I'm a clever shit," Drew says, his expression perfectly stoic. "But if cake doesn't happen in, like, three days, I'm calling the authorities."Rich titters to himself. "Cake happens." "I mean, I'll let you coast for a bit, since I'm nice like that. I'll settle for pancakes or something. Those blueberry ones you do with the syrup and yoghurt, or maybe those truffles you make by bashing up digestive biscuits--""You've been thinking about this too much," I scold. Drew cocks his head. "A man's gotta eat.""Man's gotta cook it, then." I scoop my white canvas tote bag up on to my shoulder. "I need to make a move.""Want a lift?" Drew offers. "Cheers, but no. I need to stop by the shops and stuff." I must acquire Pepsi, and some of that amazing popcorn with sugar and salt. A night by myself in the flat is not complete without snack fodder. "Rich--you want me to text if Vicky ends up home early? You can conveniently drop in with a research article, or something.""Nah." He sighs. "I'll figure it out.""Okay." I stand on tiptoe to accept the usual hugs. They're warm, solid boys, and their friendly embraces should be comforting. I wish I could find that in them; that I could feel something beyond the incredulity flesh inspires.  Instead I wince, and pray that they never notice. "Catch you later."After a browse around the supermarket, I head home through the old main town, past the library and the majestic crash of the water mill. Our block sits four storeys high on a new-build estate not far outside the Saxon town gates. We picked our flat for the size of the bedrooms, and subsequently, the built-in wardrobes; it meant we ended up with a tiny kitchen-slash-sitting room, but for overall space, it's worth it. I keep everything white in my room, from the shiny Ikea furniture to the bed linen I launder  each weekend with fabric softener more expensive than wine. Colours litter my windowsill in the form of my Yankee graveyard; as Vicky says, it's where good candles go to die. My current favourite is a sweet pea one that smells like my late grandma's garden. White is my logic. My safeword, of a sort. When I decorated this room at the beginning of last term, it felt like a clean slate--I was finally free of Dominic. I replaced photos of us with my candles, and the bright sheets he soiled with fresh, pure white. Dominic was the politics to my business; he was the last push-up, but without the adrenaline to cheer me up after. And when we--he--decided it was over, I needed to remind myself that I wasn't transparent without him, though it felt like all the colour had been drained from me. I was just a clean slate, just white. I was still beautiful. Even when he said I wasn't beautiful at all.


 

TAINTED TOUCH: Cover Reveal and First Chapter

I've been keeping this cover under wraps for waaaaay too loong. I hope you're ready to meet Art Lyons, the younger brother of Aidan (from the Knives & Flowers books). He "releases" (ahem!) March 31st, and if you scroll down, you can read the first chapter too...

GOODREADS

Twenty-year-old Caitlyn McCoe likes logic, cake and breaking a sweat. In that order. What she doesn't like is the fact that her manipulative ex, Dominic, has crawled out of the woodwork after their breakup last summer. She needs to concentrate on passing her business degree, not telling him to get lost. But fantasising about Fist Candy--the boxer she loves to watch at the gym, where she works--is excellent escapism. He's beautiful, untouchable...and safe.

Until he's her new co-worker. And then he's not safe at all.

Art Lyons was a rising star on the boxing circuit and a brilliant student. Then he dropped out, disappeared, and has just resurfaced as the new sports massage therapist at Caitlyn's gym. He doesn't want to talk about why he's no longer at uni; he doesn't want to explain the tattooed slashes across his hip.

But he's troubled by the connection he feels between the punch bag and the brush of a lover's fingers. He wants to use his hands to heal, not hurt. Caitlyn clams up when her friends go to hug her; after Dominic, something changed beneath her skin, twists the things she feels. If Art can find a way to reach beyond that, he could help her. She could heal him.

That's if they don't break each other first...
***
 CHAPTER ONE

Sweat. It drips on my grey foam exercise mat as I push out another hard breath. I will master the push-up. I will make it my bitch. It's not like Hans, the instructor from hell, is giving me a lot of choice about the matter. From my spot near the back of the studio, I can see him demonstrating the push-up by balancing on one tanned, ripped forearm. Damp blond hair sticks to his fine cheekbones, and a purple ClimaCool t-shirt gapes just a little to reveal his pecs. Dubstep pounds in my ears.Each drop of sweat that falls on my mat is proof of my dizzying effort, and Hans has promised me results. Whenever we reach the last five minutes of his Combat Blitz class and I'm struggling through the conditioning work, I comfort myself with his honesty: Work for what you want. Earn the body, and it will come. God, I'm working. My obliques would scream if they were able, and my abs wouldn't be far behind. I'll ache for days.If only Hans didn't bat for the other team, hmm? The only guy who never lies to me, and he's gay. That said, unless Hans is into red-faced brunettes who look constipated when they do jumping jacks, I'd be out of luck anyway. Even though my yoga pants fit a lot better since I started his class."Last round," Hans bellows over the grinding static of the music. "Finish this!"Last round means another twelve push-ups. I ignore the pain in my neck and glance sideways at Vicky, my best friend. Beneath her freckles, she's almost as flushed as me she balances over her own mat. Dark blond waves tumble from her loose ponytail and into her face."Sadist," Vicky hisses in Hans' direction. He grins like a Cheshire cat, throwing her a sly wink as he pumps up and down on his thick arms. As usual, he makes the workout from Hades look effortless.She blows wavy hair out of her eyes. I hate him, she mouths. I nod in sympathy, gritting my teeth. Five...four...three...two..."And we're done!" Hans rolls back on to his knees and then come to stand. Even he's out of breath. "Ace work. Okay...stretches. Child's pose, people."The dubstep fades, and soothing piano music spills from the speakers. I take a moment to pull back into child's pose, my hands stretched forward, my sticky forehead meeting the cool mat. A sense of pride floods my poor, adrenaline-wasted brain; I survived another hour of torture. I even feel good for it. Exercise being awesome--I'm still getting used to that, even though I've been doing this for over a year now. Thank you, body. I think. As we stretch, I float off into thoughts of the upcoming spa session. Vicky and I have a routine now--we allow Hans to beast us twice a week. Then we head straight to the gym pool to swim off the trauma, followed by a long, aromatic soak in the steam room and Jacuzzi. Finally, we take leisurely showers, taking turns to bring in new products that leave our hair shiny and our skin smelling like cinnamon and pomegranates (or whatever smug crap we're into that week). If we're feeling especially virtuous then we'll cook something healthy; if we're too tired to think, we go to the pub. Rock and roll, my friends. And they told me college would be crazy. Hans leads us through some combat blocking to finish. We bring our hands together in a final bow, and then I lunge for the air conditioning unit, draping myself over it with a groan of relief. Cool air blasts against my hot muscles and makes me realise just how damp with sweat my clothes are."Anyone would think the unit was a dude," Vicky says, one pale eyebrow lifting in dismay. "Stop grinding on it.""I'm not grinding. I'm just..." I pant. "It's how I'm breathing!""Come on." She brandishes her water bottle. "I need a refill."I peel myself off the unit to swipe my bottle, mat and towel. Then we head down to the drinks machine and fountain, both of which are inconveniently stuffed at the end of the corridor. We have to weave through a hoard of Hans's next victims just to get into the hall. "I propose a pub night," Vicky declares. "Unless you want to cook, that is. All I can think about are nachos covered in chilli and ludicrous amounts of cheese.""What happened to that diet thing you were doing?""After that class? It can go fuck itself." She mops her brow with the corner of her blue towel. Vicky's on a mission to lose twenty pounds, despite the fact that she has one of those figures that suits extra curves. If I could eat more cake and wear it the way she does, I totally would. "Although there's always the Cupboard of Shame," she adds. Said cupboard is in the top left corner of our tiny kitchen, and is where we keep the Nutella. And the Haribo. And the vodka. In the spirit of guilty pleasures, we also have a tacky naked firemen calendar hanging on the door. My mood lifts immediately, and not because we're walking past the boxing gym. "What kind of choice is that to offer me? Pub or shame?" I complain. "We could hit the cupboard after the pub," she says pragmatically. "That would be time-efficient.""Time-efficient binging is the best kind, true.""Then we're agreed." She feeds a couple of coins into the vending machine and stabs the keys. Beside the machine, the boxing gym door is propped open by a plastic chair. Two guys in nothing but track pants are huddled in the middle of the room, deep in discussion as they swing fat red gloves on strings. Then, my eyes are drawn elsewhere. In the far corner, a tall shape is smacking the living shit out of a black punch bag. He drives in one fist after the other, and each hit echoes loudly as the bag creaks on its chain. Slap, slap, slap, slapslapslap. There's almost something dirty about that rhythm. I find myself zeroing on the way the muscles in his broad back rove beneath his skin; how the sweat glistens in pleasing evidence of his hard work. Dark hair, cut short enough to be tidy but long enough to form cute peaks when damp, licks the nape of his neck. And I find myself wondering how the punch bag feels. How it gives like flesh beneath his fingers. "Caitlin?" Vicky pokes me in the ribs, but I don't flinch. "Are you getting anything?" The boxer glances back just for a moment, allowing me a glimpse of his profile. I can't tell the colour of his eyes from here, but I notice how they widen briefly. How they flare. I swear white teeth play along his full bottom lip. As he twists, a flash of colour at his hip becomes apparent; ink, rough slashes. Then he's lost to the punch bag again, all thrusting fists and flushed skin and breath spewing in soft grunts. A stranger showing more than he ought to in public--things I couldn't touch if I wanted to. Undercurrents. Prickles that needle the back of my neck. He's angry, but it's more than that."Cat? Are you getting a drink, or what?"I glance around at Vicky, whose brow is creased in annoyance. "Yeah, sorry." I fumble about, trying to position my bottle beneath the fountain. At least I'm too red for her to notice my blushing. "Should probably put some water into my Pepsi stream."I can't help it--I peer back through the gym doors, where he's moved on from beating living shit and appears to be going for the firmly deceased. The flush has spread to his shoulder blades, and they glide up and down like knives in the hands of an astute butcher. Cold water gushes over my fist as the bottle overflows; I do nothing about it. How embarrassingly Freudian. Vicky mock-huffs beside me. "When you've finished perving, I'll be in the locker room," she announces.I don't even bother to answer; I just mirror her good-natured, crooked grin, and bring my wet hand to my forehead. It's cold enough to make me sigh. In a minute, I'll have to follow Vicky, if I want to make it in time to swim. But I let my gaze linger over the boxer's back one last time. I gulp down cold water and drink in the sight of him--punch after punch, slap after slap, and the water cools my belly as his punches warm me, lower down. He is Fist Candy, and deserving of proper nouns.The heat of my pulse is opiate and delirious. More, more, says the quiver in my blood. I've become a junkie in the space of two minutes and I can't find it in me to be embarrassed for a single blink. Shame lifts like a shadow, easing its stiff fingers one at a time.                         ***
The thing about the boxer is that he's an unfamiliar face. I spend my weekends working on the gym reception, so I usually recognise customers. But not him, and not because I mostly just stared at his back. I'll probably never see him again--even if I did, I doubt he'd look twice at me--but there's always a sliver of possibility in the unknown, and tingles of hope flood my veins when I remember him, stirring nerves long-neglected and muscles unstretched. He's like my own personal Cupboard of Shame. So of course, now there's only one way to survive a lecture on the European Working Time Directive: close my eyes, let the drone of my tutor fade away, and conjure the filthy look on Fist Candy's face when he took out his frustration on the punch bag. Only I'm yanked from my revelry by a firm hand grasping my knee. "If you don't stop tapping your bloody foot," Rich mutters as he pushes my knee down, "I'm going to--to--""To what?" I hiss.He scowls at me from beneath his mad explosion of chestnut curls. "I dunno. But...something. Be afraid.""I'm terrified. No, really.""You should be," Drew, his twin brother, warns from my other side. "In fact, don't let him use your bathroom. No good can come from that." "You're both disgusting," I whisper back, weary of other students' eyes as they twist in their seats to glare. "I don't know why I put up with you."Drew grins, wide and white. "Because we're clever shits?""Photogenic clever shits. I bet you were never as popular on Instagram before you met us," Rich adds. I snort. I'm hardly "popular on Instagram," but Drew and Rich are Gods of the Selfie and insist on recording our study sessions in pixels, usually between ordering cheap pizzas from the Iranian place around the corner, and trying to outdo each other on Candy Crush. Ah, how grateful I am that they fell into my life--literally. On the second night of Fresher's Week, around about two a.m., a monumentally drunk Drew crashed clean through my dorm room door with his trousers around his ankles. Apparently, he got lost on the way back from the bathroom. We've been friends ever since--they came as a package deal-- but not a friends-with-benefits kind of thing, you understand, despite Drew's initial lack of trousers. They're both awfully photogenic; all caramel skin and glossy black eyes, and Drew wears his curls longer, tied back in a ponytail. But they're also not afraid to fart in front of me or tell me that I have lipstick on my teeth. Our lecture finishes with a bunch of graphs suggesting that the EU directive has boosted employment figures, and thus benefited the economy. We have to write an essay on its political implications; deep joy. I chose a business degree because, as Drew once put it, I like to manipulate logic for my own personal gain. Ahem. Politics, however, is the manipulation of lies, so politics and I do not get on. Finishing this essay will be like the last five minutes of a Hans beasting. Not funny.I'm escorted from the new-build lecture theatre--and back into the old building--in a Rich and Drew sandwich. People have no choice but to walk around us, even if it means holding their iPads aloft. The School of Law, Business and Economics is, for the most part, a sixteenth century behemoth that Foxfield University calls Earl Waverley. We call it Hogwarts due to its hilltop position, mess of staircases and eerie stone spires. On bright February afternoons like this, the sun spills down through high windows in arched rafters and turns the halls milky gold. We all look drizzled in syrup. "So." Rich yanks a bottle of Sprite from his leather satchel. "Plans for tonight?"Drew groans. "He's got the handbag again. I told him, I can't be seen with a bloke who has a handbag, but--""It's a satchel. And it's fucking fashionable." Rich throws me a pout. "Isn't it?""It is. I think." I nod. "It's very metrosexual.""See?" Drew holds up an accusatory finger. "Handbag.""You talk as if metro's an insult," Rich goes on, completely unaffected. "It's not. In fact it's not even a sexuality--it's a state of self-awareness that suggests one values their appearance over the opposite sex.""It's like talking to Wikipedia," Drew complains. "I haven't even got a brother anymore, you know that? I've got a SatNav that thinks it's a black David Beckham."Rich rolls his eyes. "Ignore him and answer my question, Cait. Out tonight?"We duck out of the huge doors and stalk down the stone steps to the car park. A light breeze ruffles my hair, and exhaust fumes mingle with the scent of fresh greenery."Why? You angling for an invite?" I ask. He looks shifty, clasping the strap of his bag. "Maybe.""What Becks here is getting at," Drew announces, "is whether Vicky is going with you. And if so, will you please let him tag along on the off chance she decides to grace him with her vagina?" He smirks. "Again."Rich withers back into himself, blushing. "Oh. I see. I see what's happening here." We reach the boys' red Volkswagon and I lean against it, folding my arms. "I'm flattered you're so desperate for my company, Rich.""It's just--I mean...." He shrugs helplessly. "She hasn't texted or anything.""And she said she would?""She gave me her number.""When he asked for it," Drew adds, shaking his head. His ponytail bobs from side to side. "Hey. She took my number, too," Rich protests. "Wasn't like it was one-sided, or anything."I give him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "If you were worrying about it all, you only had to ask me.""Maybe he asked Wikipedia first," Drew muses, "and panicked when it didn't know.""You can sod off," Rich mutters. "I just wondered if she'd be around tonight, is all.""She's at the theatre, I think. They're practising loads for this big production." "Oh." He looks crestfallen. "I s'pose I'll leave you alone, then.""I'm going to make a start on that stupid essay," I say forlornly. "You're more than welcome to do that with me, if you like?"Drew glances over, his eyes wide with hope. "Is there cake?""Haven't baked any.""And why the fuck not?""Because I'm not your slave?" I end up talking into his armpit as he grabs me for a playful squeeze. I have to spit out a mouthful of check shirt.  It sets my teeth on edge. "Suffocating me won't help, by the way.""Sorry. I'm not allowed to release you until I have a confirmed date for cake."Rich brandishes his phone, where an image of last week's amaretto apple muffins lights the screen in all its Instagram filter glory. "Actually, it's been eight days since you baked anything, Cait. You feeling okay?""I've been busy having a life," I protest, trying to step out of Drew's grasp as casually as possible.He releases me, looking wounded. "It saddens me that it doesn't include looking after your menfolk."I scrunch my face at him. "Ew.""I meant in the kitchen!""Keep digging." I tuck handfuls of hair behind my ears, trying to control the wind-teased frizz. I'm absolutely not going to admit that I've had too many Fist Candy butterflies this week to think about baking anything, but I feel exposed, as if they can tell. "I'll come and help with the essay. Because I'm a clever shit," Drew says, his expression perfectly stoic. "But if cake doesn't happen in, like, three days, I'm calling the authorities."Rich titters to himself. "Cake happens." "I mean, I'll let you coast for a bit, since I'm nice like that. I'll settle for pancakes or something. Those blueberry ones you do with the syrup and yoghurt, or maybe those truffles you make by bashing up digestive biscuits--""You've been thinking about this too much," I scold. Drew cocks his head. "A man's gotta eat.""Man's gotta cook it, then." I scoop my white canvas tote bag up on to my shoulder. "I need to make a move.""Want a lift?" Drew offers. "Cheers, but no. I need to stop by the shops and stuff." I must acquire Pepsi, and some of that amazing popcorn with sugar and salt. A night by myself in the flat is not complete without snack fodder. "Rich--you want me to text if Vicky ends up home early? You can conveniently drop in with a research article, or something.""Nah." He sighs. "I'll figure it out.""Okay." I stand on tiptoe to accept the usual hugs. They're warm, solid boys, and their friendly embraces should be comforting. I wish I could find that in them; that I could feel something beyond the incredulity flesh inspires.  Instead I wince, and pray that they never notice. "Catch you later."After a browse around the supermarket, I head home through the old main town, past the library and the majestic crash of the water mill. Our block sits four storeys high on a new-build estate not far outside the Saxon town gates. We picked our flat for the size of the bedrooms, and subsequently, the built-in wardrobes; it meant we ended up with a tiny kitchen-slash-sitting room, but for overall space, it's worth it. I keep everything white in my room, from the shiny Ikea furniture to the bed linen I launder  each weekend with fabric softener more expensive than wine. Colours litter my windowsill in the form of my Yankee graveyard; as Vicky says, it's where good candles go to die. My current favourite is a sweet pea one that smells like my late grandma's garden. White is my logic. My safeword, of a sort. When I decorated this room at the beginning of last term, it felt like a clean slate--I was finally free of Dominic. I replaced photos of us with my candles, and the bright sheets he soiled with fresh, pure white. Dominic was the politics to my business; he was the last push-up, but without the adrenaline to cheer me up after. And when we--he--decided it was over, I needed to remind myself that I wasn't transparent without him, though it felt like all the colour had been drained from me. I was just a clean slate, just white. I was still beautiful. Even when he said I wasn't beautiful at all.

New release coming: TAINTED TOUCH

tainted touch
Release date: March 31st 2014Cover Reveal: March 1st(sign up here if you'd like to host)
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A sensual New Adult romance, set in England

Twenty-year-old Caitlyn McCoe likes logic, cake and breaking a sweat. In that order. What she doesn't like is the fact that her manipulative ex, Dominic, has crawled out of the woodwork after their breakup last summer. She needs to concentrate on passing her business degree, not telling him to get lost. But fantasising about Fist Candy--the boxer she loves to watch at the gym, where she works--is excellent escapism. He's beautiful, untouchable...and safe.

Until he's her new co-worker. And then he's not safe at all.

Art Lyons was a rising star on the boxing circuit and a brilliant student. Then he dropped out, disappeared, and has just resurfaced as the new sports massage therapist at Caitlyn's gym. He doesn't want to talk about why he's no longer at uni; he doesn't want to explain the tattooed slashes across his hip.

But he's troubled by the connection he feels between the punch bag and the brush of a lover's fingers. He wants to use his hands to heal, not hurt. Caitlyn clams up when her friends go to hug her; after Dominic, something changed beneath her skin, twists the things she feels. If Art can find a way to reach beyond that, he could help her. She could heal him.

That's if they don't break each other first...

How to Write Full Time...and Stay SANE

Writing full time is awesome. It's a privilege and very cool--let's just get that out of the way. But it can also make you feel lonely and isolated; it can leave you wallowing in an abyss of melodramatic (but still crap) self-doubt. And it sure does make you fat. Doesn't sound like so much of a winner now, hmm?!

There are more and more of us writing full time from home since self-publishing and the ebook boom took off. Some of us are also working around our children. There are a lot of tips around on how to achieve work/life balance and how to cope with the huge output now required in order to make a living, but I want to get a little more specific. I want to tell you how to apply these things so they'll actually help.


In order to cope, you need to LOOK AFTER YOUR BODY AND YOUR BRAIN. And still find time to write, obviously. Here's how I (just about) manage it...


1) Do not sit at a desk! 

You're a writer; you spend a lot of time on your arse. That's just the nature of the beast. But all that time spent cramped over a desk is no good for your posture or back. Even with a good desk chair, you're still being pretty hard on your lower legs, and you may find that they end up feeling heavy or swollen after a long stretch of writing. Solution: find a way to elevate your legs, whether you sit in a comfortable armchair and use a footstool, or you sit on a bed with a good mattress, propped up by plenty of pillows. (Yes, I know this is useless advice for those of you with desktop computers...but it doesn't make it any less true). Your body will thank you for this.

Also, slightly off-topic but with regards to computers and typing: take good care of your nails. If they're long and regularly bashing a keyboard, they'll weaken and chip more easily. Avoid acrylics for the sake of both your nails and your keyboard(!). Invest in a good nail file (Leighton Denny make an awesome crystal one) and keep your nails reasonably short. 

2) Exercise

You knew this one was coming. As above--you spend a lot of time sitting down, and that's a lot of time for your muscles and joints to get stiff and achy. Your circulation will suffer too. But you have busy days, and you need a body in good condition to carry you through them. You must make time to exercise. And no, walking on your treadmill while you watch Sherlock isn't really sufficient. You need to sweat.

A lot of writers like to run; personally, I find it rather solitary if it's the only exercise I do. Gyms are fabulous places for people who work from home because they provide contact with Other Peoples. They also provide classes where instructors will shout at you mercilessly and not let you slack off (like you would if you were aimlessly wandering around the gym equipment, thinking wtf does that thing do? Is it from SAW?) Thus classes are an efficient use of your time. I do three a week, first thing after I've done the school run, and I swim after the class. It's cathartic to the extreme. If I have to miss a class, I do yoga via YouTube videos and jog on the school run. I wasn't always this active but my body now complains like hell if I'm not, which severely impacts my productivity.

Exercise is good for your brain, too; I've worked out more plot issues in the pool than I ever have while trying to read the entire contents of the internet over two litres of coffee.

(Also, apparently, sex counts. Even though MyFitnessPal totally refuses to tell me how many calories it burns).

3) Eat the good stuff

I'm not talking about sticking to a strict diet; we all need to indulge our vices now and again (Haribo! Cake!). But an alert, happy writer is a productive writer, and you won't be feeling that way if you binge on crap. Which is probably what's going to happen if you wait until midday, realise you only have cereal in the cupboard, and then call up the friendly man at Domino's. Again.

Solution: do a full food shop at a time that suits you. It sounds simple and obvious, but when you're pushed for time, it falls by the wayside. Don't buy a bunch of "diet" products just because you're sitting down for most of the day; they won't fill you up, and nutritionally, most of them are pointless (Muller Lights, I am looking at you. And let's be honest: Covent Garden soups have gone downhill, haven't they? They all taste the frickin' same). Eat meals that are heavy in protein; you'll find them far more satisfying than a heap of carbs, and thus you will switch off the hunger and switch on the awesome. I'll suggest a basic shopping list shortly (bearing in mind that I'm not a vegetarian) that gives you ingredients for loads of quick meals--soups, salads, casseroles, snacks.

Try to avoid using caffeine as a crutch--it's a vicious circle and your headaches will be bad enough just because you spend so long staring at a screen. How many writers do you know who are addicted to coffee or cola? I raise my hand for the Pepsi Max...it may as well be crack to me. But I try not to keep it in the house because I know I'll drink it like water. Instead, I buy a small bottle after the gym and drink it on the way home. Oh, Pepsi. You cruel mistress. Weep.

Writer's basic shopping list

A chicken (salads, soups, sandwiches, omelettes. Just unwrap it and put it in the tray. It takes less than an hour to roast. Bag up any meat you haven't used the next day, and freeze it).
Random veg (anything you fancy)
Salad bowls or bags (I'm lazy; I like pre-made salad. You can buy items loose if you wish. I literally just put meat, fish or cheese on them, and usually a little sauce or dressing).
Smoked salmon (salads, omelettes, sandwiches. It's the bacon of the sea, people, and less expensive than you think. Also, better for you than bacon).
Canned beans (cannelini, kidney, anything you like; good in soups and casseroles. Also, try them cooked with chicken, tomato puree and a little barbecue sauce. Eat over salad and thank me later).
Full fat yoghurt (dairy is one of the few things worth eating organic, so consider that. I like Greek yoghurt with honey, often for breakfast. The fat keeps you full, and your body needs some fat)
Nuts (to be eaten in small handfuls, rather than truckloads)
Wraps/wholemeal rolls etc (add meat, salad, possibly sauce; eat one with lots of filling rather than two sparsely filled)
Fruit (I like bananas and red grapefruit. You can buy it pre-chopped and packed if it helps).
Eggs (for the omelettes. Consider them with smoked salmon, or poached with the barbecue beans)
Cheese (add a bit to anything to make it 100% better, or eat a small chunk as a snack). 
Salad dressing (I like to make my own with either balsamic vinegar and a little olive oil, or butter and lemon juice. Sweet chilli sauce is also very versatile).


4) Sleep

If all of the above is looking like a metric fuck tonne of work, it's probably because you don't get enough sleep. Many writers are night owls who do their best work at 2am; if it works for you, great, but if you have children, I'm guessing that it probably doesn't. Organise your day better and go to bed earlier. You need and deserve sleep--you do not have to earn it.

5) Socialise

With Real People. You know, in the flesh. I'm guessing many of us have lovely writer friends but that these friends live a somewhat huge distance away. A bit of friendly banter on Twitter is great, but nothing beats going out and living a bit, whether it's a coffee with a friend or a trip to another town at the weekend. If all you can manage is just dawdling on the school run for a bit in order to chat, do that. Be interested in the people around you--don't always feel that you have to rush home to work right this second. Save those days for when you have a deadline.

If sharing some office space with like-minded people is feasible for you, DO IT, at least for a portion of the week. You need that interaction, and not getting it can make the happiest writer quite miserable (not to mention uninspired).

Oh, and conferences. If your budget allows, go to these. And be nice to everyone.

6) Feed your brain with culture

Books. Films. Museums. Galleries. Newspapers. New places. Feed your brain with one or all of these things regularly. Make time once a week to go to bed early with a good book; embrace the idea of going to the movies alone in the daytime (I love this); travel as much as your budget allows, even if you only visit neighbouring towns. I'm a single mum and not likely to jet off to the Bahamas any time soon, but when the holidays arrive, my daughter and I get the train to a new town and explore for a few days.

If nothing in your life changes, you'll reach a point where you struggle to build new plots, worlds and characters. Since we're releasing far more titles a year than we used to, this point is especially important. You can only write the same book so many times before your readers catch on and you stop earning money.

And finally...

7) Treat writing like a job

It can be really hard to treat your books as your career, especially if things have just taken off and the people in your life are sceptical as to whether you can really make it work. It's awful when your work is treated as an over-indulged hobby (especially if your partner feels this way). How many of us have received their first big cheque and almost felt as if they hadn't really 'earned' it?

But if you're writing full time--if your income is making it possible for you to do that--then it is your job. Treat it as such. Be protective of your working time; don't feel guilty about using childcare. And don't feel guilty because your leisure time falls when most people are at work; you're most likely making it up in the evening. I've lost count of the amount of people who tell me I'm lucky that I can go to the gym in the morning--yes, I have a convenient schedule. But that schedule also involves some stressful periods when books aren't selling, or a large dose of parental guilt because I'm working at night (even if the child is asleep). It also is a schedule and if I don't keep up with everything--running a home, working, looking after myself and those around me--then it all falls apart pretty fast, just as anyone who works will know. Don't allow yourself to be treated like a different species just because your job doesn't fit into an accepted notion of "work."


I hope all of the above helps you to be a little happier, a little more productive, and a lot more successful. Keep at it.

Cover reveals: THE KNIVES & FLOWERS DUO

Breaking Leila and Breaking Joseph are a duo of dark BDSM novels that culminate in a brighter end. They're really rather filthy. You might like them...


Buy at AmazonBut at SmashwordsITunes, B&N, Kobo & Sony coming soon!

THE WHORED SERIES: an announcement

I'm excited to tell you all that CHAIRMAN OF THE WHORED and THE WHORED'S PRAYER, my erotic novels, will shortly receive a complete re-branding. The books will remain the same, but their titles and covers will change. This is because my rights have been granted back by the publisher.

The WHORED series was released several months before the Fifty Shades Of Grey phenomenon, when erotic titles were packaged and marketed very differently. Then a new audience appeared for erotic books, almost from nowhere; I'd like to give the WHORED books a chance to reach this audience. I think Leila and Joseph would speak to them as much as they've spoken to the lovely, lovely readers who have supported my work from the beginning. To find that audience, they may need to look a little different in order to be noticed. (I wish publishing didn't work this way, but it does. And one can never blame a reader for liking what they like).

Designer Kenny Wright will be handling the new covers. He does beautiful work--as with TWISTED SUMMER and TOUSLE ME--but also, he read the WHORED novels back when they were still in progress, and was a massive support as they were completed and subsequently sold. It feels very "full circle" to have him designing the new jackets, and I absolutely can't wait to show them to you all.

 It may be that for a few weeks in January, the titles are unavailable to buy. I'm not clear on exactly when this will be or if it will happen at all; I'll keep you all updated on the matter. I expect the rebranded titles to be available by early February--so not long to go.

Expect joint cover and title reveals over the next few weeks. (And if you happen to have any title suggestions, I'm all ears ;) ).

Happy new year!

So TOUSLE ME is out now...

...and you can find it at Amazon, B&N, Kobo and Smashwords (when iTunes decide to load it, it'll be up there, too).

There's a giveaway going on for a $25 Amazon gift card as well. Which is obviously quite good.  But I wanted to talk a little about how this project came to be.

Back in the summer, I began a project where the heroine's flatmate was a book blogger. I invented a book for the girls to talk about; that book was called Tousle Me as a kind of spoof new adult moniker. I decided that I'd actually write Tousle Me and release it along with the other book as a kind of companion/marketing tool.

Only Tousle Me quickly became far more fun to write than the original project, and it became obvious that it would be more organic to write it as a book in its own right. I loved that I could poke fun at the things authors do (Cammie, the heroine, regularly references the dumb stuff her author--me--gets her to do); the things book bloggers do, and the things stereotypical characters do. I even spoofed a couple of my own books because...well, when in Rome, and all that.

I cut my writing teeth on parodies; as a teenager, before I began writing romance novels (or glorified cheesy rape fantasies, rather, since mine were most definitely that),  I wrote an historical romance parody series that featured my school friends. My friends were thus immortalised as classic characters such as Lord Burger, The Thing In The Wardrobe, Svin and Sven the masseur men, and The Handsome Tree. One friend's boyfriend was killed at the end of every book; another friend would learn a horrible secret about her love interest in each book (e.g. they were related, or he'd been dead for the entire book and she just hadn't noticed). Characters regularly had conversations with woodland animals and inanimate objects. I also gave my character a sex scene with Jin Kazama, Just Because. I love the freedom of parody; it's the best form of God complex ever.

People have said to me that they wish Tousle Me wasn't a parody because they'd actually like to read Cammie and Hunter's "true" story. They have my apologies--there are authors who can write that story authentically and well, but that author is not me. This author can't do it with a straight face. (Though I admit that when Kenny showed me the lovely cover, I kind of didn't want to "waste" it on a parody, even though I very much wanted a "straight" cover in the first place).

Truth is, my work often goes to some dark places, even if it has its humorous moments. And I'd found myself in a bit of a dark place in terms of personal circumstances, so writing Tousle Me was an absolute tonic and distraction. I wasn't really ready to channel the darkness, so to speak. Although I will at some point--a good author does not waste misery (and this isn't a call for pity; we all go through crap from time to time, and I'm kind of lucky that I can turn it into a business opportunity!).

I hope that Tousle Me's affectionate roots show; I hope that it makes you laugh. I hope that if Christmas is a bit rough for you then this book will give you a few bright moments; I hope you all have a lovely Christmas regardless.

Happy Holidays!

TOUSLE ME got a pretty blurb...

...courtesy of author Andrew Shaffer, who wrote the rather amusing Fifty Shades parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. 

He gave me a couple of (probably over-generous) lines...I chose the one that makes us both appear to have questionable judgement. Ah, publishing.



TOUSLE ME is released December 13th. That's four days away, people. Somebody book the pinata!