Brian Keene's Blog, page 153

“What if nobody likes it?”: On Writing and Self-Doubt

Last week on Twitter, Steve Melnick asked me if I had any advice regarding writer’s block based on a lack of confidence. His concern that people might not like his writing was preventing him from writing. I told him I did have advice, but it wasn’t something that would fit into a Tweet, so I’d write a Blog entry instead. So I have.

I should start by recapping my assertion that there is no such thing as writer’s block. Writer’s block is a convenient term we use simply because “I don’t feel like writing” sounds less palatable.

I used to work in a foundry, back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth and books were still sold in bookstores. I held many positions at that foundry, one of which was operating a mold making machine. During my daily eight-hour shift, I was expected to make a certain number of molds. If I completed this task, I got a paycheck at the end of the week. If I didn’t complete this task, then I got fired and had to find another job.

I’ve always approached writing the same way. Whether I’ve got an hour to write each day or eight hours each day, I’ve always envisioned my words as part of the assembly line. I have to produce X amount of them each day, or I’ll get fired and have to find another job. And since I haven’t had another job in over 15 years, I’m pretty sure I’d have trouble getting hired somewhere else, so it’s doubly important I keep this writing gig.

That’s not to say there aren’t days when I don’t feel like writing. Far from it. After a full day of playing with my 4-year old, the last thing I want to do is sit down and write. I’d much rather collapse onto the couch and just rest. But if I do that, then my 4-year old isn’t going to eat next month. Thus, I have to produce words. To quote this wisdom from Joe R. Lansdale, “If you can’t find time to write, you probably really don’t want to do it.”

There is no such thing as writer’s block, but there are excuses for not writing. Sometimes, they’re bogus. “I’d rather play video games tonight” is not a valid excuse. But there are times when the things going on in your life encroach upon your writing. Sickness. Death. Depression. Doubt. These things, and others like them, can wreak havoc on your ability to write. Below is an excerpt from my book, SUNDANCING (which you can purchase here), in which I talk about this:

During those last three winters, I’d gone through a divorce, a year’s worth of weekly visits with a shrink, absolute financial destitution at the hands of a crooked publisher, a heart attack, two devastating floods, a mudslide, a blizzard, the death of a family member, betrayal and abandonment by several once-close friends, and two nervous breakdowns. My alcohol consumption had increased in response to this, and the amount of words I wrote each day had decreased accordingly. Not that I had time to write, even if I’d had the mental strength to do so. I had my youngest son from Monday through Thursday, and by the end of the day, he left me too exhausted to work. I saw my girlfriend on the weekends, but visiting her involved a three hour commute, and again, there wasn’t much time for writing. Basically, as my world fell apart, brick by brick, I kept my shit together as a father and as a boyfriend, but couldn’t write for shit. In the rare moments when I did have time to write, the words I produced weren’t my best, which made it even harder to write.

The public didn’t know this, of course. Oh, hell no. Online and during appearances at signings and conventions, I still played the role of the hard-working writer, preaching the gospel of how there was no such thing as writer’s block, and how all one had to do was make the time to write—ass in chair, fingers on keyboard. Repeat as necessary. Except that it was all hypocritical bullshit. I gave the genre what it wanted. What it needed. A pep talk in a time of crisis (and believe me, these last few years have indeed been a time of crisis for most of your favorite horror writers and publishers). But while I could rally the troops, I had no one to perk up my own sagging spirits.

So, yeah. I’m not immune. I get that life sometimes intrudes and the last thing you want to do is write. It’s hard to make up stories about zombies and vampires and giant carnivorous worms when life’s very real monsters are tearing you apart inside and out. And one of those monsters is doubt. Self-doubt is the worst, but it’s also one of the easiest to deal with, if you know how.

The first thing you need to know, Steve (and everyone else reading this) is that you’re not alone. Every single author has those moments of self doubt. It might surprise you to know that those moments don’t just come early in one’s career, either. You ask yourself, “What if this sucks? What if I’m just wasting my time? What if nobody likes it?” It’s very easy to let those fears and uncertainties keep you from writing. But there are two things you must remember.

1. Not everybody is going to like everything.

2. You are writing for yourself. Everyone else can suck it.

Not everybody is going to like everything. I’ve written a metric fuck-ton of books and comic books, and every single one of them has been hated by somebody. But you know what? Other people have liked them. More importantly, I’ve liked them.

Write the book you want to read. Today on Jobs In Hell, there’s a quote from Toni Morrison: “I wrote my first novel because I wanted to read it.” And she’s right. My first novel was a zombie novel. I wrote it because, at the time, nobody else was writing zombie novels, and I wanted to read one. I didn’t pause to consider that nobody else might want to read about zombies. It didn’t concern me that people might talk shit about it on the internet. None of these things mattered to me, because I liked what I was writing. I hoped others would, too, but if they didn’t, that wasn’t going to stop me from writing it. In hindsight, that worked out pretty well for me (and for anyone else who couldn’t find a zombie novel to read). Some might say, given the plethora of zombie novels now available to the public, that it worked out too well. But that wasn’t my concern. My only concern was writing a book that I wanted to read.

Don’t worry about whether or not anybody else will like it, as long as you like it. Write a book that you’d want to read. Do that, and I think you’ll find your block dissipating. Do that, and your fears and uncertainties become a lot easier to wrestle with. Do that, and you’ll suddenly start producing words again.

I’d like to close with this quote from Wrath James White, because I think it ties in well with what we’re talking about here: “Whether you’re writing about vampires, zombies, werewolves, demons, witches, ghosts or serial killers, the tone, the mood, the settings, the characters, and the plot should be so uniquely personal that only you could have possibly written it.  That is the only reason anyone should ever write any story, ever, because you are the only person who could have written it.”

You are the only person who can write the story you’re working on. Now go do it…

TEN COPIES LEFT!

There are only ten Maelstrom III sets left. Remember — although Earthworm Gods II: Deluge will be available in paperback and digital next year, this will be the only edition of Sundancing ever published. All three books are getting rave reviews — indeed, some of the best reviews of my career. This is your last chance! Click here to order.

Sandy Preparation Tips

Photo copyright 2012 by Mary SanGiovanni

Here are some simple Sandy preparation tips that all of you (not just preppers like me) can do:

1. Gas up your car now. Get cash out of the ATM. When the power goes, gas pumps and credit cards won’t work.

2. Fill up your bathtub with water BEFORE the power goes. Use this water to flush your toilets AFTER the power goes (dump it in rear tank).

3. If you live in a flood zone or falling tree area, put a bag of clothes and necessities in the car NOW, so you can escape quickly if needed.

4. Turn thermostat in your fridge and freezer to highest setting now. Keeps food longer when power goes out. Prepare cooler with ice.

5. Have lots of good books on hand to read out loud to your loved ones by candlelight. And remember to aim for the head…

Quarterly New Reader Orientation

My name is Brian Keene. I write books, comics, stories, and articles for money. I’m a father to three boys, ages 21, 14, and 4. I live in rural Central Pennsylvania along the Susquehanna River bottoms. I’m a socially-liberal Libertarian and religiously Agnostic. In my spare time, I enjoy reading, films, music, cooking, target shooting, and the outdoors. I collect bourbon the way some people collect comic books or baseball cards.

My most recent book releases are Alone and Scratch (in digital), Entombed and An Occurrence In Crazy Bear Valley (in paperback), and Sundancing and Earthworm Gods II: Deluge (in hardcover). You can find a complete list of all of my books, including publication history, covers, and descriptions HERE.

My most recent comic book releases are The Last Zombie: Neverland (in trade paperback) and The Last Zombie: Before the After #1. You can find a complete list of all of my comic books, including publication history, covers, and descriptions HERE.

Several of my works have been made or are being made into movies, including The Ties That Bind, Ghoul, Castaways, Dark Hollow, Darkness On The Edge Of Town, The Cage, Fast Zombies Suck, and The Siqqusim Who Stole Christmas. You can find details on each of these movies, including DVD release dates, HERE. In addition to that page, you might enjoy the official Dark Hollow movie Facebook page, the official Castaways movie Facebook page and Twitter, or the official Ghoul movie Facebook page.

Speaking of movies, I am one of the partners in Drunken Tentacle Productions. I also operate (in conjunction with Thunderstorm Books) my own small press imprint, Maelstrom, focusing on limited edition books for the collectible market.

In the social media world, I run Jobs In Hell – an inspirational Tumblr for writers, artists, filmmakers, and other creative types. I am extremely active on Twitter, and Twitter remains the easiest, quickest, and best way to get in touch with me. I am also active on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, Library Thing, and my official message board. I also have pages on Google+ and 8tracks, but I rarely (if ever) use them.

If you want to mail me a letter, my address is PO Box 281, Craley PA 17312. My public email address is briankeene at live dot com. Both of these are pre-screened by my faithful assistant Dave “Meteornotes” Thomas, and I cannot guarantee a response due to time constraints.

Books I’m currently working on include The Lost Level, Hole In The World, With Teeth, Suburban Gothic, and World Domination 101: How To Get Little Money And Major Heartbreak Writing Horror Fiction – A Memoir. In fact, I’m going to get back to working on those right now, before Hurricane Sandy (which according to the latest data is making a beeline directly for my front door) knocks the power out.

Have a nice day, and welcome new readers!

THE LAST ZOMBIE ends. HIGH PLAINS CLICKERS begins.

(In which we talk about the end of The Last Zombie, the beginning of High Plains Clickers, and why you should quit asking me to write you zombie stories).

Recently, I revealed the final two story-arcs for The Last Zombie series. Now, due to the economic variables of the comics marketplace, rather than two more 5-issues series, we’ll be wrapping everything up in one massive five-issue blowout (26 pages each) called The Last Zombie: The End. This will follow The Last Zombie: Before the After (issue #1 of which is currently on sale). The End will comprise plots from the aforementioned Eat The Rich, as well as the final story-arc.

If you are new to the series, here is the reading order:

The Last Zombie: Dead New World

The Last Zombie: Inferno

The Last Zombie: Neverland

The Last Zombie: Before the After

The Last Zombie: The End

Dead New World, Inferno, and Neverland have all been collected in trade paperback and are also available digitally. Single issues of Before the After are on sale in stores now. And single issues of The End will hit stores next February. To purchase the trade paperback collections, single issues, or digital editions, CLICK HERE.

This series comprises my longest written work to date. If it were collected in novel form, it would be several phone books thick. It is also my final word on zombies. In the decade since the publication of The Rising, zombies are a subject I’ve returned to with City of the Dead, The Rising: Selected Scenes From the End of the World, Dead Sea, Entombed, Clickers vs. Zombies, and The Rising: Deliverance, as well as various short stories. I think, during that time, I found new things to say about them and new things to do with them (especially in Entombed and The Last Zombie). But now I’m done. I really can’t see myself using them again, other than in the forthcoming The Labyrinth series (and that won’t feature zombies, but rather Ob unleashed). But I’m really proud of The Last Zombie, and I appreciate those who have supported it from the beginning. Trust me when I tell you that it ends with a bang. Several bangs, in fact.

And this doesn’t mean I’m done with comics. Next year will see the release of High Plains Clickers – an original comic series I’m writing with J.F. Gonzalez, set in the continuity of Clickers, Clickers II, Clickers III, and Clickers vs. Zombies. High Plains Clickers began as a Tweet from F. Paul Wilson, so blame him. It features everything you love about the Clickers series, and more. The comic, which again, is an original, never-before-published tale set in the Clickers continuity, will be published by Antarctic Press. If you haven’t yet read the novels, to purchase the paperback or digital editions of the Clickers series, CLICK HERE.

I’ll also be venturing back into superhero comics and doing some work for one of the Big Two* again next year (this time with an ongoing series), but I’m not allowed to talk about it yet, so more on that later.

*For non-comics readers, the Big Two is defined as Marvel Comics and DC Comics, both of which I’ve written for in the past, when deadlines between novels allowed.

Autumn and the Cabal (Musings on Friendship, Time, Writing, and Costs)

This past weekend, some friends and I flew out to Colorado to visit Tom Piccirilli. These are the thoughts that have been bumping around in my head since returning home — some fairly lengthy musings about friendship, time, writing, and life. Some folks dig those type of Blog entries and some folks don’t. So I’ll just hide it under this cut tag—–>

Okay. Now that the people who don’t like that sort of thing are gone, here are two pictures of John Urbancik, Geoff Cooper, myself, Mike Oliveri, and Michael T. Huyck. The first was taken in Seattle in 2001 by Sephera Giron. The second one was taken last weekend in Colorado by John’s automatic camera. Study them for a moment.

A keen observer (see what I did there) will no doubt notice a few things when comparing these two pictures. The first is that while the passage of time has had an impact on Oliveri’s hair color, my hairline, and Urbancik’s waistline, it has had no discernible effect on Coop whatsoever, and Mikey’s posture 12-years later is still that of a man twenty years his junior. (That is because Mikey is, in all actuality, perpetually frozen into that kneeling position. This is why you never see him at horror conventions anymore). Another thing one might notice is that we’re smiling more in that original picture. Probably because writing hadn’t yet broken our hearts the way it did years later.

What I notice about these pictures is something you probably don’t. What I notice about these pictures are all the other people that are in them — people you can’t see, but that I see as clear as day. Tom Piccirilli, Weston Ochse, Regina Mitchell, Ryan Harding, Mary SanGiovanni, Tim Lebbon, Rain Graves, J.F. Gonzalez, Wrath James White, Mehitobel Wilson, Carlton Mellick, James Newman, Mike Bracken, Drew Williams, Jack Haringa, Nicholas Kaufmann, Sephera Giron, Monica O’Rourke, James Futch, Donn Gash, Gak, Bryan Smith, Linda Addison, Michael Laimo, Alan Beatts, Matt Johnson, Seth Lindberg, Brett Savory, Darren McKeeman, Mike Marano, Brian Freeman, Chad Hensley, Holly Newstein (now Hautala), Gerard Houarner, David Niall Wilson, Vince Harper, Dave Barnett, and so many more. So very many more. An entire generation of writers. Enough for a cabal…

That was what some in our generation used to call ourselves — the Cabal. It was a tongue in cheek tag, but it gave us a sense of community and a sense of identity in the days when the Internet was still quite new, and the horror literature community was a very different thing.

We had mentors — folks like Richard Laymon, Edward Lee, Ray Garton, John Pelan, Brian Hodge, Yvonne Navarro, John Skipp, David Schow, Gene O’Neill, Joe Lansdale, Jack Ketchum, F. Paul Wilson, and Tom Monteleone. And again, many more. Veterans who took the time to offer advice and counsel, or maybe just a drink when we needed it.

It truly was all for one and one for all.

We intended to set the genre on fire. Fifteen years and some change later, it is the genre who has often burned us. Some fell by the wayside. Some folks have passed. Others have just drifted away. Some moved on to other types of writing, or quit writing altogether. Some stuck around, experienced varying degrees of success, and learned just how fucking brutal and savage and unforgiving this business can be. Some who have persevered ask themselves why, and if it was worth it.

I ask myself that quite often. I ask myself if my success has been worth the cost. And believe me, the toll has been high and there have been times when the weight was unbearable. I’ve sacrificed a lot, and have lost a lot more, and there have been a higher abundance of tears than there have been laughs.

But yes, it was worth it. It was absolutely worth it, and I’d do it all over again for one thing.

For the friendships I’ve made.

These days, there is no cabal. It’s more like a collective. But the sentiment behind it still hasn’t changed. All for one and one for all.

Today, my four year old son and his classmates went on their first field trip. The parents went along, which means me and all the other moms (yes, I’ve become a soccer mom, and I am totally okay with that. The girls give me recipes and tips on how to make jack-o-lanterns last longer and I entertain them with tips on the best cigar to smoke or how to increase your grain alcohol tolerance. It’s a wonderful symbiotic relationship). But I digress…

The field trip was to a local pumpkin farm. At the end of the day, my son and his three friends climbed atop a stack of hay bales, and I took a picture of them. In a rural community such as ours, it is conceivable that these four boys will remain friends until they graduate from high school. In the seconds before I snapped the picture, they were pretending to be Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America. In the picture, they are smiling, arms clasped around each other, ready to conquer all that life will throw at them. All for one and one for all.

I want to warn them about what life has in store. The hurts and disappointments and heartaches that will come, but these are things they will have to learn for themselves. With luck, they will learn them together, and live them together, side-by-side. Because that’s what friends do.

I have been blessed with many good friends in my life, but none like the friends I’ve made as a writer. So yes, it was worth it. Each and every time I got financially screwed by a publisher or criticized by some illiterate dingbat on Amazon or stalked by a lunatic who was convinced that I was the source of all his problems and also the anti-Christ — it was worth it.

You can judge a man by the friends he keeps.

And I’ve got some of the best god-damned friends in the world.

We went to see Tom because he is one of those friends — one of those best god-damned friends in the world, and he’s fighting brain cancer, and because a friend should never be alone in a fight. A friend should be able to glance around the bar, back against the wall, and know that other friends are wading into the fray with fists and guns and knives, ready to kill motherfuckers for him.

I’m not going to speak to the details of Tom’s condition. That’s for Tom and Michelle to decide what they want made public and what they don’t. But I will tell you that post-operation, he is most definitely still the same old Tom, still full of wry humor and sarcasm, and wonderful insights, and still a connoisseur of Asian cinema and noir paperbacks. The cancer has not beaten him, and it is my sincere belief that he will beat it in the end and emerge stronger than ever before. But the battle will not be easy, and he will need the support of friends.

Friends like you. Here again are some ways you can help Tom and Michelle.

1. You can donate money directly via this fundraiser on IndieGoGo. The fundraiser has been set up by Tom’s niece. All proceeds will go directly to Tom.

2. You can donate money immediately via PayPal to Tom’s sister-in-law. This money will help Tom’s wife Michelle with living expenses now (as the fundraiser money won’t be available until the end of October). See the Donate button at the top of this page.

3. You can purchase one of his digital books published by Crossroads Press. From now until the end of the year, they are waiving their percentage, and 100% of the sales will go to Tom.

4. You can purchase the digital edition of Tom’s Every Shallow Cut from Chi Zine Publications. Until the end of the year, 100% of the sales for the digital edition of  will also go directly to Tom.

Coming soon, look for an announcement from myself, Edward Lee, Jack Ketchum, Bryan Smith, J.F. Gonzalez, Wrath James White, and several others about yet another way to help (all courtesy of Deadite Press).

I’d take a bullet for Tom. So would Coop, John, Mike, and Mikey.

I’m not asking you to do that. I’m just asking you to do what you can.

All for one and one for all…

PORTENTS Halloween Sale

In honor of Halloween, Portents is on sale for $20 for the entire month of October!

Featuring brand-new stories by myself, Gene Wolfe, Joyce Carol Oates, Ramsey Campbell, Joe R. Lansdale, Melanie Tem, Steve Rasnic Tem, Kealan Patrick Burke, Christopher Fowler, Elizabeth Massie, Nina Kiriki Hoffman, Kim Newman, Jeffrey Ford, Tom Piccirilli and many more, this limited edition of 1,000 hardcover copies is only available for purchase from Flying Fox Publishers. The regular price is $30 – but from now until Halloween it’s on sale for just $20!

To order a copy:

By PayPal: send $20 (plus $5 postage and packing in the U.S.; $8 for Canada; and $15 for international orders) to Flyingfoxpub@aol.com

By money order or personal check (made out to Al Sarrantonio): send the appropriate amount as per above to Flying Fox Publishers, 106 Heather Circle, Newburgh, NY 12550

For any questions write to: Flyingfoxpub@aol.com

LAST ZOMBIE: NEVERLAND – Trade Paperback On Sale

On sale today is The Last Zombie: Neverland trade paperback, which collects issues 1 – 5 of The Last Zombie: Neverland, the third story-arc in this ongoing series. Click here to order.

Lost somewhere between Missouri and Iowa, the team carrying the zombie cure soon encounter Neverland, an enclave of children who have survived the zombie apocalypse, apparently without any adult supervision whatsoever. What dark secret do they hold? And will Doctor Ian Scott’s own dark secret—a zombie infection barely held at bay—be revealed to all?

More apocalyptic awesomeness from Brian Keene  and Fred Perry

GHOUL – On DVD January 8th – Pre-order now!

GHOUL comes out on DVD January 8th. Pre-order your copy now!

Rockets, Whiskey, and Zombies (Weekend Report)

(Image to the left courtesy of Nick Roberts)

This weekend, I finished up the final draft of a story for Cemetery Dance (called “Musings”) and completed plotting out the last two story-arcs for The Last Zombie.

I’ve got mixed feelings about the comic coming to an end. There is sadness that it’s almost over, but I’m also eager to write these final two installments. Titled The Last Zombie: Eat the Rich and The Last Zombie: The End, they have been a delight to plot. I’m ecstatic about the twists and surprises in store. You’re going to dig them.

Again, I can’t stress enough — issue #5 of The Last Zombie: Before the After has one of the biggest cliffhangers of my career. If the ending to The Rising infuriated you, just wait until you see this.

And when it’s over, that really will be all I have to say about zombies. I can’t see myself ever writing about them again (except for Ob’s appearance in the forthcoming The Labyrinth series).

Photo courtesy of Martina Gona

Also this weekend, I watched Geoff Cooper get his Level II Rocket Certification by launching a 7-foot tall, 30 pound rocket (called The Goblin) from a sod farm near Ocean City, Maryland. Coop built the rocket himself, and it was truly a breathtaking and awesome spectacle. Congrats to him for the achievement.

And if you haven’t yet, check out Coop’s latest collection, Answers of Silence, available along with my own Sundancing and Earthworm Gods II: Deluge as part of the Maelstrom III set. Click here to purchase a set.

Here’s some video of the launch, courtesy of Jeff Heimbuch.

As impressive as that is, it was even more impressive in person.

After Coop’s launch, I headed down to the outskirts of Washington D.C. to meet up with Nick Mamatas, his wife Olivia, his sister Teddie, and John Scalzi. Had a nice dinner, and then we made a brief appearance at a Scotch-tasting party where I sampled a lovely Japanese whiskey. (I’m a bourbon guy, but could certainly learn to appreciate Japanese scotch). Nick and I needed to get a dust-jacket photo for Thunderstorm Books’ forthcoming limited edition hardcover version of The Damned Highway, which will feature bonus material not available in the paperback or digital editions. (Look for that early next year). So Scalzi supervised while Olivia took a photo of us and Teddie took a photo of Olivia taking a photo of us. It was all very meta.

Photo courtesy of Teddie Mamatas

This week, it’s back to being a Dad, being a boyfriend, and buckling down on some comic book pitches that are due, along with a final polish of that final draft for Cemetery Dance, and continuing pressing on with The Lost Level. Next weekend, I’m heading out to Colorado with Coop, Mike Oliveri, John Urbancik, and Michael T. Huyck to visit Tom Piccirilli and Michelle Scalise. I’m guessing updates here will be sporadic as a result. As always, hit me up on Twitter if you have a question.