Amy Laurens's Blog, page 115

March 28, 2012

Villain: Wanted

So, I'm writing this awesome story called L.A.O.S., which stands for the League of Absolutely Ordinary Superheroes. It's about a bunch of teens who use their super-high IQs and knowledge of scientific theory to be superheroes and save the world (L.A.O.S.: Saving the World Through Science! #ftw). I'm planning on making this a serial; each 'episode' is slated at about 15k, and there will be 6 total. The eps will be released about a month apart, and at the end will be collated into one pretty, shiny volume. *pats the imaginary volume*

So far, so good.

Only one problem: I need a villain. So, throw some ideas at me: volunteer your name, pick a superpower the villain should have, tell me what his goal in life might be - anything you like, no matter how random. And when I finally finish the stories and publish them, you'll get a mention in the acknowledgements, and a free ARC of each episode ;) :)



The League of Absolutely Ordinary Superheroes

When your IQ is so far off the scale that scientists are lining up to create new tests to measure it with and Mensa is knocking on your door, there are only two ways to go in life. You can embrace your nerdly glory and live a life condemned to exist on the fringes, without any real human contact, or you can pretend. Or you can be an arrogant jerk like Greg, but he's practically an entire category to himself no matter which way you slice it.

Like any other normal teenager, I just wanted to belong. Okay, yeah, at first it was frustrating that the rest of the class would take hours to understand what I'd figured out in the first three seconds, but that was pretty quickly surmounted and easily dealt with: I just ignored school altogether. My real education happened in my spare time anyway; school was just somewhere I had to be, with people who I desperately wanted to like me.

They didn't, of course. I mean, to begin with they accepted me and all, but there was always this vague sense of unease, like they knew I was hiding something, but couldn't figure out what. And then bloody Mr Hangley had to perform what was tantamount to abuse on that poor, unsuspecting formula, and I couldn't help myself: before I knew what I was doing, I'd opened my big gob and corrected him, and once the words started they just kept pouring out, a torrent I'd been hiding inside for so many years that when they finally spilled over, they flooded everyone within a five mile radius.

Maybe. Actually, I can only vouch for the fact that they drowned my classmates, and very nearly Mr Hangley, who stood staring at me like I'd grown horns and started tap-dancing naked on the desk. Which, thinking back, may have been the smarter thing to do.

After that, there was no going back.

Megan cornered me right after class, fists on hips and eyes flashing. "What was that, then?" she demanded.

I did my best to shrink, to blend back into the crowd – but the crowd was no longer there. Instead, guys I'd just half an hour ago called mates were edging away from me, pointing and whispering, and I stood out like I'd always known I'd one day have to, raw and naked and alone. So, eloquently, I shrugged and tried to pretend like I had no idea what she was talking about. Like lecturing your maths teacher on the subtleties of [stuff] was normal.

"I'm serious," she said, tossing her hair. Man, you do not want to get Megan riled up. I swear, she's part terrier or something, because once she's latched onto something she does not let go, and she is scary. "What was up with that?"

"With what?" I snapped, shoving midgety year sevens aside so I could stomp away. Sure, that's right, I thought. It's not enough that my cover's blown and I'm back to being Chris-fit again, bloody brunette Barbie has to come and rub it in, just to make sure I got the point.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 28, 2012 21:24

March 26, 2012

Winners!

Well, winner, I suppose O:) Diane, you've won the copy of Holly Lisle's Create-a-Plot Clinic! Woohoo! I love this book, and I hope you enjoy it too. Contact me and I'll send you your copy.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 26, 2012 21:59

Breastfeeding is Offensive

This.

Love it.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 26, 2012 21:56

March 22, 2012

Grab-and-Go @ Cobbett&Paws

New post about my latest sewing adventure over at Cobbett&Paws :)

 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 22, 2012 17:48

March 21, 2012

Need Plot?

I meant to post the other day to let you all know, but now I'm glad I held off until today. (Cryptic enough? :P) Why? Because I just realised today I have something for a giveaway! Read to the end for details... :o)

Anyway, I've mentioned it a couple of times, but now I have an end date for you: the LAST day you will be able to sign up for How To Think Sideways (12 month version) is MARCH 31. After that, it WILL be available on other platforms (Holly is transferring all her stuff to kindle, nook, etc etc) BUT I will NOT be able to offer you the 20% rebate after March 31. So if you've been thinking of joining and want a no-questions-asked 20% discount off the total price, NOW is the time to do it. The 12 month version has all the same content as the 6 month, but delivered at a slower pace. The price is $37.95/month, and that price is going to increase when it heads to other platforms. Remember, you can drop out at ANY time and you'll receive a refund for any month you're part way through, so you really only have to commit to... well, potentially nothing, if you dropped out in the first month and that was refunded. But let's assume the maximum you're committing to is $37.95 less the 20% which is $30.36.

How to Revise Your Novel and How To Think Sideways (6 month version) are also going the same way, but I think there's a little more leeway on the timeframe there.

Holly's website-based shop is also closing, and it currently has a HUGE SALE on! 25 - 30% off everything, from what I can see, and again, if you buy through my link and send me your receipt, you'll get a no-questions-asked 20% rebate of what you paid.

And if you've been wanting to test out some of Holly's non-fic work but have been holding off, I have good news! It seems I have a spare copy of the Create-a-Plot Clinic (version 2)! Yay! This is my second favourite of all her short courses (favourite is How To Write Page Turning Scenes), so I'm excited to discover I have a copy to give away :o) To enter, just leave a note in the comments saying you're interested. And note that I've turned the captcha off, so leaving a comment should be easier ;)

Yay!


PS All links in this post are affiliate links and are good for the 20% rebate ;)
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 21, 2012 22:41

Another Shopping Expedition @ Cobbett&Paws

New post over at Cobbett&Paws about my shopping mission, wherein I totally failed to buy the black denim I went for and come home with a host of other stuff instead. *facepalm*

Also, SHARKS.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 21, 2012 20:21

March 20, 2012

A Random Assortment of Updates

*waves* Hi-hello! How goes things? Long time no see (as always, sigh). At least the New Minion is a passable excuse for not blogging, right? RIGHT? O:)

So, I have a random assortment of updates today - which, considering the title of this post, is shocking, no? Mostly, it is non-writingish. There has not been much writing in the 6 weeks since New Minion's birth, although the last week has been more productive in that regard - and I finally, FINALLY figured out where/how to start Jesscapades. Really, I feel like I ought to plow on and finish the current draft (I have 52,000 words, give or take, and it's about 2/3 done), but I can't help but think I'm writing throw-away words when I work on it... So I may decide to just go back to the beginning and start over again. We shall see.

It's funny, though. If you've been hanging around the writing world for long enough, you'll know that sooner or later every writing how-to translates to - 'but everyone does things their own way'. There's no one right way to write - and yet, much and all as I know that, I feel like going back and starting from the beginning of Jesscapades is the 'wrong' thing to do, because so many of the pros say that you should never go back, only go forward. Stupid of me to let something like that hang me up - I mean seriously, isn't it better to go back to the beginning and rewrite, even though I haven't finished the end, than to NOT WRITE ANYTHING AT ALL?? Dude. Seriously.

Unfortunately, my brain is a very all-or-nothing place, something that manifests everywhere from hobbies to housework. I hate vacuuming (which I always try to spell vaccuming or vacumming!), for example, because I have this horrible, lingering feeling that unless I've moved every single piece of furniture and vacuumed under it, the job ISN'T DONE PROPERLY. And I LOATHE not being able to do things properly. Hence, house ends up unvacuumed because the Inky, she has neither the time nor the muscles to move every bit of furniture every single time. *sigh*

I suspect this is somewhat of a serious character flaw, one which I am Working To Overcome. To that end, 2012 has been dubbed the Year of Finishing Things, in which I must finish all projects that I start, or finish old projects. None of this bad-habitty, start-a-project-all-excited, reach-critical-mass, freak-out-and-run-away business.

I have already finished one lovely shiny project early this year: The Chair. Those of you with exceptional memories may remember that I mentioned DH & I were reupholstering our old lounge. Well, we did it, and here is the shinyfish result (well, nearly; I apparently don't have a pic of it TOTALLY finished, which is sad, because OBVIOUSLY it looks better with arms and a seat cushion):



I've started another rather major undertaking: making bags. It combines too many things I love not to do: pretty fabric, textures, colours, designing stuff, useful things (BAGS, HELLO!), Etsy, and hopefully, enough extra cash to enable my return to work in July to be part time rather than full time O:) (yes, that was a slightly shameless plug...) Because I am Amy and can never have enough blogs that I rarely update, I've started another one! This time to deal with all my fabricking adventures. Do follow if you're interested in that sort of thing, and unless anyone here screams loudly to the contrary, I'll post here when I have something new over there. So head on over and find out why my shop is called Cobbett&Paws... :)

Finally, in the list of random updates, the Dog Book, she is nearly done. FINALLY. This was only supposed to be finished, you know, LAST OCTOBER. *sigh* Oh well. Better late than never.

And speaking of dogs, you totally have to watch this video I stumbled on today. CANINES FOR THE WIN. We all knew they were superheros in disguise.



What are you guys working on at the moment? Do you have something you're having trouble finishing? I know, I'll make a Finishing Club 2012 badge, and we can all pledge to finish something this year, bwa ha >:) To the year of finishing! Hurrahs!
Link
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 20, 2012 15:40

March 19, 2012

Guest Post: I Was Supposed To Be A Scientist!

Today I'd like to welcome Liana Brooks to the blog. As those of you who hang out on twitter probably know, Liana is my twin (separated by an ocean and a couple of years O;)) - so I'm extremely excited to be able to announce that her debut novella, Even Villains Fall In Love, is about to be released! (April 4, Breathless Press). A round of applause, if you please!

And yes, I'm the one that knows how to use a comma ;)



I never meant to be a writer. Truth be told, I failed a writing class in my first year of high school. I spent a year in remedial English being politely beaten over the head with the definition of a noun.

Yet, somehow, I found myself writing in my spare time. Scribbling out scenes for fun and amusement. I shared my work with friends in high school, talked about the books I would write if I had time in college, and forced myself to try and edit a novel after I graduated. Because I was amazing. No one had books like me!

I wasn't a writer, of course, I was just a magical being with plot prowess instead of fairy dust. I knew that if I wanted to be an author (which of course I didn't - I was going to be a scientist because I'm serious and studious like that) people would trip over themselves to read my work. Really, that half-finished hand-written novel in my desk was my nest egg. All I needed to do was open a window and whisper that I, Liana Brooks, had written a novel and money was going to fall from the clouds like rain.

Please don't die laughing...

Everything was sunshine and roses until I received my first critique from my online critique group. Unsure of which novel was best I'd posted my favorite scene, from the middle of a book. I did edit first! If you call hitting spell check editing...

They didn't get my genius!

I was flabbergasted. Then suspicious. Then a little ashamed. Then properly mortified. I couldn't even use a comma correctly. I couldn't use adverbs correctly! I didn't have a clue how to communicate in my native language! (Although, I'd like to point out, I had the grammar and spelling correct for the Latin portions of the text. I can communicate in some languages. Just not living ones.)

Maybe I should have quit there. I could have found a better hobby - you know, one I was good at. I could have gotten a real job, one with a paycheck every two weeks. But instead I found myself huddled in the Slacker's Corner, a tiny place of the internet where a few lost souls curled up under cyber-blankets to talk about bad days, chocolate, families, and books.

For a group called Slackers we really weren't - everyone was busy with something, and we all were writing something. Scribbling. Imagining. Dreaming. Learning.

What a beautiful word! Learning... some of us were gifted at plotting, some of us actually knew how to use that frakkin comma. And what we knew, we shared. We encouraged each other.

After several years of writing and abandoning projects I wrote one just for fun, just to make the Slackers laugh. With a little encouragement (and a lot of editing because the comma is still a mystery to me) I sent my story off to a publisher. Rejections came, and bounced off my iron-plated ego. Then came acceptance.

I had a panic attack and ran straight to the Slackers.

Through all the ups and downs, they were there. Perfect friends, always encouraging, always helpful, always willing to look past my flaws.

My first novella is EVEN VILLAINS FALL IN LOVE, and the only reason you will get to read it is because the Slackers encouraged me. I'm happy to say I gave something back, and I'm not the only Slacker with a book or play out this year.

I guess it goes to show, a label is only a word. Call them Slackers, call them Villains, call them what you will, at the end of the day they are still a person and capable of doing anything. Even falling in love.

Even Villains Fall In Love Banner
Liana Brooks was born in San Diego, California. Years later she was disappointed to learn that The Shire was not some place she could move to, nor was Rider of Rohan an acceptable career choice. Studying marine biology so she could play with sharks seemed to be the only alternative. After college Liana settled down to work as a full-time author and mother because logical career progression is something that happens to other people. When she grows up, Liana wants to be an Evil Overlord and take over the world.

In the meantime, she writes sci-fi and SFR in between trips to the beach. She can be found wearing colorful socks on the Emerald Coast, or online at www.lianabrooks.com.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on March 19, 2012 18:14

February 29, 2012

Ride The Moon!

Forgot to mention yesterday, but the Ride the Moon anthology is now available! I am so proud to be included in an anthology with such high calibre authors. Much squeefulness indeed. (See list of contributors here).


Werewolves and Vampires aren't the only frightening creatures

birthed by the Moon…

For thousands of years, the Moon has inspired stories and legends about heroic animals, violent deities, and criminal humans. In modern times, those tales have been overshadowed by vampires and werewolves. It's time for the Moon and her denizens to take back the night.

Follow us down a twisting path of fantasy and science fiction and rediscover the magic of the Moon. From Mermaids that collect souls to lunar colonies on the brink of disaster, inside these pages you will find out which lunar gods still walk among us and what new breed of monster you should be fearful of.

Ride the Moon contains 19 speculative fiction tales that showcase the breathed of writing styles from around the globe.


My story, Cherry Blossoms, is one that had been percolating in the back of my mind for quite some time. I got the basics of the idea a couple of years ago when I did Holly Lisle's How To Think Sideways course - images of cherry blossoms atop a bundle of letters on a doorstep, a man who'd gone beyond death, and the woman who tried to follow him. But for years, that's all I had - until I got the chance to submit to this anthology and the moon theme gave me the missing ingredient I needed :D You'll have to buy the anthology if you want to see how the story came together ;) But here's how it all begins...

Ambrose sits alone in utter darkness, no one but fear for company as he prepares for the culmination of his ambitions. It's been years since he felt fear; it's been years since he felt anything. That was one of the demands of the quest: let nothing distract him from his single-mindedness, not love, not hatred, not regret, not fear. So in a way, it's nice to feel again, even if it does set his teeth on edge and send his pulse racing.

There's no reason for the fear, of course. He knows the potion will work. Years of research and millions of dollars have ensured that. But the moisture that should coat his tongue and throat still slicks his palms and forehead instead. Ambrose scrubs his hands on his bare thighs; his grip must be firm, sure. The timing of this experiment is so crucial to its success; the merest half-millisecond hesitation caused by a slip of the knife would be disastrous – and he doesn't want to die.

Which is entirely the point. He sits here, naked and alone in the dark of night in a house nobody wanted on a rug nobody loved because he is about to reach the pinnacle of his ambitions, and finally, at last, escape the clutches of death forever. Shame he has to die to do it.


The anthology is available from Tyche Books directly, and you can also find it on Amazon and B&N or request it at local bookstores. Also, The King of Elfland's Second Cousin gave it a very nice review, which is very happyful.
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 29, 2012 22:45

February 26, 2012

Winners!

Sorry it's taken me overlong to announce the winners of the contests. Life has been a little crazy the last three weeks, what with our new addition and all...

But anyway, without further ado, here are the winners (by random draw) of the various giveaways:

The 100 Followers Giveaway: Angela Ackerman - one copy of The Replacement shall be winging its way towards you shortly (unless you changed your mind and wanted a different book)

The Newsletter Subscribers Giveaway: Andrea Clunes - one copy of Divergent

The Fairytale Trap: ALSO Andrea Clunes! See the power of the random generator :)

So, girls, contact me asap (see link at the top of the blog if all else fails) and I'll get your prizes out to you as soon as I can.

Thanks to everyone for entering :)
 •  0 comments  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on February 26, 2012 18:14