Beth M. Howard's Blog, page 4

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 7: A Celebration of YOUR Pies

Episode 7 of "Stay Calm and Bake Pie" is here. It may be my favorite one, because it's a celebration of all the pies you've been making this month.

After watching it, my friend Kee Kee (who you read more about below) texted me this:

"When this pandemic started you told me you wanted to make a difference, and maybe go stock grocery shelves (I told you that was insane!), but what you are doing with your YouTube series is inspiring people to make memories with their families, and giving them the courage to bake pies themselves (and I’m sure that courage carries over to having more confidence in the kitchen making other yummy food for their families). Such a special special episode!!!!! Bravo!!!!!"

So I guess that answers that question I still keep asking myself: HOW CAN I BE OF SERVICE TO OTHERS?

A few other people sent me messages saying that while watching this episode they couldn't stop smiling. "So feel good!!!!! My face is sore from smiling the whole way through." One woman, who watched it first thing this morning, even said, "I couldn't stop smiling. And I don't usually smile until I've been awake awhile."

Even if you haven't followed one of my pie lesson videos or made a pie, I can say with confidence that watching this video is totally worth 12-1/2 minutes of your time.

Again, thank you to everyone who has been participating in making and sharing pies. And because there were a few pictures that I either forgot or didn't make the cutoff time, I'm posting them here.

Let's keep baking, everyone. Let's keep doing whatever we can to make the world a better place.

Love, Beth

EPISODE 7: Celebrating Your Pies
  

My friend Kee Kee's pie...

I woke up this morning mad at myself, because... HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN to include these other pies? Especially when this one in particular is by my friend Kee Kee (see quote above). She made her husband Eric a cherry pie for his birthday a few weeks ago. Eric is Eric Troyer, the supremely talented musician who so generously wrote the "Ms. American Pie" theme song for my pie videos!  (Eric is a former member of ELO, now in the band called The Orchestra.)

Yoda, by the way, is Kee Kee's late dog. She made a "Yoda Pie" as a thank you gift to her vet after his passing and since then every pie she makes has Yoda's name on it.


Eric not only contributed a song to my pie video series, he wrote a them song for the pandemic called "I Can't Stop Touching My Face." Kee Kee, a talented filmmaker, initiated the music video they made for the song, appropriately in their pajamas and bathrobes. Take another 3 minutes out of your day to watch this.  Then your face is really going to hurt from smiling. And I promise you will have this song stuck in your head for days. But it's a good song to have stuck. And it will make you more mindful about touching your face....as in don't!



Meanwhile in Seattle.....

My friend Dixie Wilson in Seattle has three very creative kids who, while cooped up at home, have proven just how industrious they can be. They set up a domino line that stretched the full length of the house. They wrote their own sermons for their stay-at-home Sunday church services. And they made pie!  Here is her 11-year-old daughter Madison making a banana cream pie. The pics came in just minutes after I posted the video and I was so sorry not to include them. But I realized my blog was a way to showcase them, and here they are....

And in Los Angeles....
My friend Winky's daughter, Kay Kay, is a young musician who has been creating YouTube videos for her preschool-aged music students. She has taken her creativity a step farther by doing a pie-making video, demonstrating my key lime pie recipe. And she's taken this effort up a hundred more notches by conducting her demo in Portuguese! She is just learning her husband's mother tongue and, wow, am I impressed! For all the hours and hours I've spent studying German, Spanish, and French, there is no way I could teach a pie class in another language. Even if you don't understand Portuguese, this is fun to watch because Kay Kay is just so dang adorable.


Kay Kay digs in to a slice!
Previous episodes:  Here's the playlist on YouTube

Please follow me on my social media pages:
  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Lastly, continue sending me pictures of your finished pies!!! I will post them in my "victory shot" album on Facebook. Or who knows? Maybe I'll have to do a second episode of your pies.

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 6: Gluten Free Strawberry Rhubarb

Because I had so many requests, I made a gluten free pie crust for this episode of "Stay Calm and Bake Pie."

I'm no expert on gluten free baking -- and I don't need to be! That is the whole point of this series -- to show you that pie does not have to be perfect to be good. People LOVE and appreciate a homemade pie, no matter how it turns out.

This pie crust about managing your expectations. It won't roll out smoothly and lift into your dish the way regular pie dough does. It will be sticky. It will be messy. It will break. It will look like a disaster. AND....like an ugly duckling, it will still become a gorgeous, delicious swan of a pie. I promise!

Use cookie cutters to transform your
pie into an art piece!Gluten free flour can be hard to come by these days, so if you can't find the GF all-purpose flour then use almond flour, or rice flour, or whatever GF flour variety you can find. The recipe is pretty much the same no matter which type of GF flour you use and it's a simple one.

For a double-crust pie, you will need:

3 cups GF flour (plus extra for rolling dough)
1 cup butter
2 eggs
Ice water (or milk -- some even use sour cream in addition to a liquid)
Salt
1 to 2 tablespoons sugar (optional)
2 teaspoons Xantham Gum (I didn't have any, but it can help bind the dough and give it elasticity)

For strawberry-rhubarb filling:

8 cups chopped fruit -- combo of strawberries and rhubarb
1 cup sugar
1/4 cup Minute tapioca

Watch this episode to the end, because....baby goats.

 


Previous episodes:  Here's the playlist on YouTube


Please follow me on my social media pages:
  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Lastly, please send me pictures of your finished pies!!! I will post them in my "victory shot" album on  Facebook.

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 5: Chicken Pot Pie

In episode 5 of "Stay Calm and Bake Pie," Doug is back by popular demand, demonstrating his culinary skills. Not sure if it's him or my improving editing skills, but damn if he doesn't look like a professional chef in this episode.

Also, there's some great music in this one.  The Mike and Amy Finders Band gave us permission to use their song, "Man in the Kitchen." It's a PERFECT fit for Doug's segment!  And legendary musician, Eric Troyer, of The Orchestra featuring ELO former members, wrote a pie song JUST FOR ME! There's a short version of it playing in the intro, and the full version for the ending.

This pie lesson project has turned into a joyful labor of love. I am enjoying the learning curve of the editing process (I'm shooting with an iPad, and only using iMovie to edit. I haven't yet advanced to Premiere or Final Cut.) It keeps my creative juices overflowing, almost as much as my chicken pot pie filling.

I especially love all the positive feedback. I am hearing over and over again, "Thank you for these videos." You. Are. So. Welcome. Thank you for watching them!

I continue to receive photos of your finished pies -- "victory shots," I call them. Sorry I have gotten behind on posting them all to the Facebook Victory Shot album, but I'm so focused on getting the next videos made I haven't had the time to go back and collect all the pie photos. There are so many! But I do see all of your pics and every single one of them, along with the accompanying stories, makes me swell with happiness and pride.

As for this particular pie, I confess, I had not made a chicken pot pie in years, so my skills were rusty on this one. And because I was nervous, and thus rushing, I spilled milk all over my stove. But guess what? That pie turned out great. It was so effing delicious it went from being comfort food to un-comfortable food because we ate WAY TOO MUCH! I hesitate to mention that because I am sensitive to the fact that there are people going hungry out there due to job loss, homelessness, illness....I am aware of how privileged we are to have this abundance of food to eat. I am also aware that for all that I preach about how pie is meant to be shared I'm not giving away many pies these days. It's not easy to get out of the house, and we live 25 minutes from town. Still....I want to be doing more to help others. I just hope that by sharing these lessons I am doing something to give back to the world.

So without further ado, here is the chicken pot pie lesson...


Next episode: GLUTEN FREE PIE!!!!

Previous episodes:  Here's the playlist on YouTube

Please follow me on my social media pages:
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Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 4: Key Lime

My farmer's hands.
They not only
build strong fences,
they make good pie!And now for something a little different in the "Stay Calm and Bake Pie" video series. Doug appears as the guest baker in this episode, making key lime pie.

There are many approaches to making pie and yet the same pie made in different ways can still turn out equally good. Doug and I, with our mismatched baking styles, are proof of that. Instead of debating it, we embrace it -- and have a little fun with it in this "he said-she said" format.


Previous episodes:
Click here for my previous lessons on YouTube (apple, berry crumble, banana cream)

Next episodes:

 Chicken Pot Pie Gluten-free pie  Pie-in-a-Jar and other various shapes and forms 

Please follow me on my social media pages:
  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Love, Beth
Doug also shares some tips for what rum pairs well with the pie.

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 3: Banana Cream Pie

My "Stay Calm and Bake Pie" series continues with episode 3, and my dad's favorite pie: banana cream.

A friend pointed out, "This is the first time I've heard your story where you didn't talk about how your parents met."

That's true. In fact, it's a story that has become THE story of my pie journey.

"I was born because of banana cream pie," I tell people in my talks. "My mom and dad had been dating 6 months when she invited my dad over for a homemade supper of tuna casserole, Jell-O salad, and banana cream pie for dessert. She knew banana cream was his favorite. He hadn't even finished his first slice when he proposed to her. So if not for banana cream pie, I would not be here!"

My brother Mike with his first pie!This video is far shorter than the first two, but it took twice as long to edit. The reason, I'm sure, is that I wanted to make it special -- for my dad. It's a kind of tribute to him. You'll see what I mean during "The Stirring Scene." The music that accompanies that part is DeBussy's Clair de Lune, a song my dad used to play on the piano. You wouldn't know the significance of that unless a) you were a family member or b) I told you. So I am telling you.

One thing that happened since this video went live (and I admit, I am several days delayed in posting it here), is that my younger brother Mike watched it and, as a result, made his first pie. I sent the video to him merely to watch it -- to see how I honored our dad. But he surprised me by replying with a text and pictures of him with the pie he made.

"After getting the news from one of my large sponsors pulling back their funding promise... I took to pie making... and felt better," he wrote.

I choked up with a confusing, bittersweet kind of joy, at once being proud of his accomplishment, moved to tears by the giant smile on his face, and hit with a pang of grief knowing how much our dad would have loved it.

I miss my dad so much. But his memory lives on in this pie.


I hope my pie lesson is helpful to you. Send me pictures of your results. I'll post them in my "Victory Shot" photo album on Facebook.

Meanwhile...  Stay home. Stay Calm. Keep baking. And share your pie with others who need it.

Next episodes:

 Key Lime Pie  Gluten-free pie  Pie-in-a-Jar and other various shapes and forms 
Please follow me on my social media pages:
  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Love, Beth

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode 2, Mixed Berry Crumble

I am learning how to do the video shooting and editing on the fly -- flying solo, at that. I am using Doug's iPad to film and iMovie to edit. I'm starting to get the hang of splitting clips and splicing music. But the sound quality needs a lot of improvement. I need a wireless lavalier (clip on) microphone. I want to wait on shooting the next episode until I get the mic, but the next one is banana cream pie and Doug already bought the bananas... So to that I say, videos, like pies, are not about perfection!

In this berry crumble episode, I think (hope) you'll find the baking instruction useful and the farm scenery soothing. Even if you can't hear a damn thing! Enjoy and send me pictures of your pies -- and stories of who you baked them with, and shared them with.

Someone commented on my Facebook page that all this pie is going to make us fat! I had a whole spiel about that in this episode but the footage got deleted somewhere along the way. I was blathering on about how this berry pie is "just fruit," full of vitamins and antioxidants. I also added that while pie making is good for your heart and soul, exercise is good for your heart and body. So go for a walk or do an online dance class to balance out the eating. I don't want to be preachy, but I do feel it's worth mentioning.



Next episodes:
Banana Cream Pie Chicken Pot Pie Key Lime Pie hopefully a gluten-free pie in there somewhere, by request. and if I keep going, then Shaker lemon, spaghetti pie, French silk, peach...the list could be a long one! Please follow me on my social media pages:
  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

 Love, Beth

Stay Calm and Bake Pie -- Episode One: Apple Pie

After two months in Tucson, I'm back on the farm in Iowa because....the virus. It feels good to be with Doug, Mali, Maybelline, Chaps (our lone surviving goat), and I even brought Peanut the Foster Dog along, though she is no longer a foster, she has been adopted as a permanent family member. And for a little chihuahua she is adapting very well to farm life. Dogs LOVE Camp Doug!

To keep myself busy -- and to contribute something positive to the world during this most challenging time -- I am offering FREE PIE CLASSES, though in the form of homemade videos. I am shooting these myself with Doug's iPad. It's not as hard as I thought. In fact, it's been fun, and best of all it is taking my mind completely off the news!

This will give you something to do while you're #STAYINGHOME. And I've kept my language family friendly so you can do my pie classes with your kids. ENJOY! And stay healthy!

 

Next episodes will be:

Mixed Berry Crumble PieChicken Pot Pie Banana Cream Pie Key Lime Pie ...and hopefully a gluten-free pie in there somewhere, by request. 
 Please follow me on my social media pages:

  Facebook   Twitter   Instagram 
And subscribe to my YouTube channel.

 Love, Beth

How I'm Dealing with the Pandemic (And Other Anxieties)

I want to get back to being a writer, to writing the book I started in early December, to scrapping that and starting a new one, even just to blogging, but I’m too restless. Like most people, I am sitting in a prickly pear cactus field of fear and anxiety. With the world as we know it ending and the constant onslaught of news and noise, it feels as if there's no room for my voice. And not just that, but knowing the kind of online mob mentality that exists, how people too often gang up on you in a dog pile of mean-spirited criticism, I feel a too thin-skinned and too vulnerable to put myself out there, to share my personal stories and my heart.

I have people who write to me, not just friends but also people who have read my books and blog posts, who encourage me to keep going. They tell me they appreciate my openness and honesty, and that they like my writing. (Phew! Thank you!) They also say they want to know more about my life. About what happened after I moved out of the American Gothic House. About where I’m living now. If I am still on the farm (aka Camp Doug, and Camp Dough.)  If I am still with Doug. If I still teach pie classes. What my next book is going to be about.

But here I sit, in the face of a global pandemic, facing a blank page on a Word doc and asking myself What is the point of writing? What the hell even matters anymore?

Staying healthy. Staying sane. Staying alive. These are the first things that come to mind. But the one thought that keeps pushing its way past the others to the surface of the survival pool is this: Helping others.

My dad taught me to be of service to others. My husband Marcus’s death taught me that doing nice things for others (like sharing pie) eases the heartbreak of grief. And now, as we teeter on the brink of economic—and possibly societal—collapse, my conscience is telling me to stop worrying about writing and just get out there and help the world in physical ways.

I’ve reached out to people to ask what I can do. Social media and newsletters have also been a good source of ideas.

Here are few things I can do—some I’ve already done—and things you can do too:
Donate blood.
I stumbled upon the American Red Cross bus on Saturday afternoon and saw a signboard outside it that said “Emergency Blood Drive.” I hadn’t given blood in 18 years (since I’m prone to anemia) but I went in, my iron count passed the test, and I donated a pint.  They are having a shortage due to the virus forcing blood drives to be canceled. Got blood? Trust me, you can spare a little.
(Doug, my boyfriend, has been a donor for years, and has given a total of 24 gallons!) Go here to find out where to give.

Foster animals. 
I saw a post somewhere, maybe on my Nextdoor app, that said our local shelter was in need of fostering for dogs and cats. I lost my terrier, Jack, in September and I’m not ready to get another dog, but why not foster? My apartment building allows pets and because of the circumstances the landlord agreed to waive the monthly pet fee. So I stopped at the shelter—only to check it out—and came home with Peanut, a six-pound Chihuahua recovering from a prolapsed uterus. She requires medication, which I am an expert at administering after two years of Jack’s insulin shots and heart pills, which is why the shelter asked if I would take a dog with medical needs. Peanut is quiet, cuddly, and very appreciative of the down comforter and heating pad I’ve provided for her bed. And she is excellent company during this time of social distancing. If there was ever a win-win, this is it. (This need is not only in Tucson, but everywhere right now.  Check with your local animal shelter.)


Feed the needy.
Schools are closed for classes, but their kitchens are being put to good use preparing food for kids and others who might otherwise go hungry. I sent an email today to offer a hand in preparing, handing out, and/or delivering meals. I haven’t gotten an assignment yet, but I have my rubber gloves ready and my car tank filled with gas. (Schools are doing this nationwide, if not internationally, so check what's happening in your area.)


Restock grocery store shelves. 
One thing we all need to do no matter what is eat. But if you’ve been in a grocery story lately you’ll see that the shelves are bare. This highly unusual sight of scarcity is enough to send anyone into a full-blown panic. Honestly, it could turn any rational person into a toilet paper hoarder. Just today I got an email from Safeway (they had my email because I joined their club card program last week) which said they need people to work in their stores. Someone needs to unload those delivery trucks, unpack those boxes, and replenish those shelves. Sign me up! I clicked on the application form, but apparently so did everyone else who got the email, because the site was down. I’d be happy to do the work and the heavy lifting, but I know there are people in more urgent need of the income and I hope they get hired.


Buy groceries for those who can’t afford them. (If there are still groceries to buy.)
It’s been fun (is “fun” the right word at a time like this?) to spend time on Twitter. I find the clever quips to be a source of intelligent and informed humor. But it’s not all snarkiness over there. Someone (and given the quick-paced, fleeting nature of the Twitterverse, I’ll never be able to track down who it was) posted something about paying for groceries for the person in line behind them, or giving money to the person in front of them who didn’t have enough to pay for theirs. And then someone commented that their Aldi Nerds Facebook group…

Wait, what?? There’s are Aldi FB groups?? How did I not know this given my super fan status for all things Aldi (especially their low prices compared to Safeway)?

…The commenter said her Aldi Nerds FB group was buying gift cards to give to people who needed food. It’s gestures like this that restore my faith in humanity and, yes, I am going to join that FB group immediately.

Make pie. And share it.
Of course I have to include this one. But given that I’m always preaching that “pie is meant to be shared,” well, how does one safely share pies during a “shelter in place” mandate? Do you leave a pie outside of someone’s door, ring the doorbell, and run? Or are you limited to sharing pie in your own house? Then again, some people are confined to separate rooms in their own homes. I don’t know all the safety aspects of sharing pie right now, but I do know two things:  One, people need to eat. And two, people need comfort and love more than ever. Pie is comfort. Pie is love. Pie is baked in a hot oven and surely 425 degrees Fahrenheit is enough to kill that motherfucker of a virus. Even if you can’t share your pie, the act of baking one is good therapy for calming the nerves.


Make music.  And share it.
A new friend of mine in Tucson has kids in their twenties who are musicians. One lives in San Diego, the other lives in Nashville, but both are currently taking refuge in their parents’ home in Oro Valley. They aren’t “hunkering down” doing nothing though, they are rehearsing for a Cul de Sac Concert! Like the Italians singing on their balconies, or the two kids playing cello for their housebound elderly neighbor, my friend’s kids are going to share the gift of their musical talents (and, boy, are they talented!) with the neighborhood, because sound waves don’t spread diseases.


Write letters to say “Thank you” and “I love you” and "I'm sorry."
Yes, we are asked to maintain our physical distance for who knows how long. When will we get to see our parents and siblings and closest friends again? This uncertainty is what is driving so much of the anxiety. Thank goodness we can still communicate. I’ve been almost constantly on my phone or computer, texting, sending emails, sending photos, staying in touch with my people. But post offices are still open. We have stamps. And we can write letters in longhand, which has an added value. Dragging your pen across the page in curlicue lines or straight blocks slows you down causing you to be more thoughtful (which seems to be a theme, if not perhaps a “benefit,” of this virus). I wrote a few birthday cards yesterday. I wrote to my dad, who has been living on “the other side” for the past three years. (I’m convinced he can read my words.) I wrote a note of encouragement to a writer friend who was asking the same “why bother” questions as me (see first paragraph).  And you know what? I felt so much better after writing all this on paper. Not to mention, my eyes felt so much better being away from the screen. Handwriting is like pie in that it’s an endangered art form.  Let’s keep it alive. Next on the recipient list: letters to people I want to thank, just for being in my life, and a few to whom I want to say "I'm sorry." More importantly, letters of thanks and support to healthcare workers who are putting their lives on the line to help us through this crisis.


Be a pioneer.
Also over on Twitter (I have never spent this much time on Twitter!) I saw a tweet from author Celeste Ng. The same Celeste Ng who wrote “Little Fires Everywhere” which is now streaming as a hot new series on Hulu. She listed the things she was doing during the lockdown, shutdown, slowdown, meltdown, whatever you want to call it.

“I am cooking from scratch, schooling my child at home, knitting and baking and making stock. This pandemic is turning me into a pioneer.” 

Pioneers got shit done. They did manual labor outdoors in the fresh air (which was so much cleaner before the industrial age came along). Their hard work gave them a sense of purpose and accomplishment and toned muscles. And skin far rougher than our 20-second hand-washing sessions are causing us. Be it pie baking, music making, hand writing letters, planting a garden, making soup, or canning jam, now is a good opportunity to spend quality time at home, work with your hands, and reacquaint yourself with an era before Alexa could do everything for you without having to get up off the couch. (Don't get me started on that subject.)


Get outside. 
Speaking of getting off the couch…  Do not underestimate the toll that the stress we are currently under takes! I’m lucky to be in Tucson where there are hiking trails through wilderness areas that make it easy to maintain social distance. I’ve been taking regular soul-soothing, stress-reducing walks in the mountains. (Not just good for the lungs, but for the legs and buns, and to burn the extra calories from all that stress-eating!) I want so badly to be of service to others, but you know that thing about putting on your own oxygen mask first is true. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. If you can’t get to a trail or a deserted beach to restock your inner grocery store shelves, maybe just step into the backyard and breathe in some of this rare, newly clean air. (Seriously. Have you seen the articles going viral about how China’s sky is blue again, and dolphins are returning to the Venice canals? That should tell you just how badly we’ve been treating this planet!) So turn off the TV, silence your phone, and pay your respects to nature. (Which reminds me: my list of letters to write includes an apology note to Mother Earth!)

⇹ ⇹ ⇹
This is only a short list of ways to be of service. There is always more we could be doing. The point is to just do it.  Don’t overthink it.

Of course, this is advice I could also apply to writing. Yes, I’m restless and anxious. But writing about that anxiety helps me feel less anxious. Yes, I am vulnerable, and not just to criticism and trolls but to the coronavirus. But I’m not going to let that stop me from living, from sharing my experiences, or from adding my voice to the crowded mix.

Because words do matter. Stories matter. And there can never be too many stories (or blog posts) because it’s our collective voice that tells the bigger tale. We don’t know where this current saga is going or how all it ends, but we are all part of it. We are in this together. We have to keep doing our best and help each through the confusion and struggle as it comes.

As for all those questions about what I’m doing now, where I’m living, who I’m with or what pie classes I’m teaching, I’ll save that for another post.

Farewell, Our Fearless Little Warrior

Quality of life. Quality of life. Quality of life. This is your new mantra.  
Quality of life is what you have to determine when your pet gets old and sick. How do you define quality of life, and how do you measure it? And when it’s an animal—a pet who is considered a family member—how do you determine that its life is no longer worth living?  
“Can he walk? Can he eat? Can he breathe? Can he glean any enjoyment whatsoever out of his days?” the online questionnaires ask when searching for the answer to the dreaded question: How do you know when it’s time to euthanize your pet?
You begin contemplating the end. You wonder how many more days you can eke out. How many more times you can try to hand feed your furry friend. How many more sleepless nights you will have from taking him out to pee. How many mornings will you hold your own breath until you make sure your pet is still breathing.
One questionnaire asks, “Are you weary?” Yes, you are weary. You are so very, very weary you want to be euthanized yourself. 
“Who made you God?” you admonish yourself for even considering the lethal injection.
Of course, we would always prefer that end-of-life decisions were left up to nature. We want our pets die peacefully, painlessly in their sleep. But nature doesn’t operate on our schedule. Nature pays no mind to our heartache—and healthcare costs—and the wish for a natural death as we watch in agony over their steady decline. To be fair, nature often does offer to take our loved ones before they grow too old to stand on their own legs or too confused to find their water dish. Out in the wild, the weak and injured become prey for the food chain. But we intervene with trips to the vet, with IVs and antibiotics, stitches and insulin, teeth cleaning and painkillers. We do whatever it takes prolong the inevitable.
We love our pets so much. We want them to be with us forever. We cannot imagine life without them. We don’t want to let go. We refuse to let go.
You go back online and take another quiz. “Rate from 1 to 10 your pet’s hurt, hunger, hydration, hygiene, happiness, and mobility.” Your score is off the chart. He aches too much to walk. He won’t eat—even though you’ve offered him baked salmon, grilled steak, roasted chicken. He drinks water like he can’t get enough. His coat is dull and gray. His teeth, once so strong and white, have turned dark brown. He’s blind. He’s got diabetes, congestive heart failure, arthritis. 
You could call a friend, who just put down his 18-and-a-half-year-old dachshund, to ask what you should do. But you know that asking for opinions will just create drama. It’s your decision. You want to keep it private. So you spend the day doing tasks that allow your mind to work it out. You sew—and break the needle. You bake—and burn the bread. 
Finally, you take your dog—your 15-and-a-half-year-old Jack Russell-Yorkshire terrier mix—for a ride on the side-by-side. You speed down the gravel roads as fast as the little off-road vehicle will go. Your dog puts his face into the wind, his hair blows back, his nose twitches with curiosity, he perks up like he’s his old self—the one you haven’t seen for months. Feeling the wind is his face is one of his favorite things, the only thing from which he can still derive pleasure. You’ve given him his last taste of what quality of life he has left. 
The websites say pet owners often wait too long. Their animals suffer needlessly. But on this windy ride he’s so alert. Maybe he could live longer. Maybe today is not the day for the vet to come to the house. But you’ve already made the appointment. It was so painful to come to this decision that to reverse it now will only cause more confusion, more crying. You’ve cried enough. You’ve been crying for the past two years over his multiplying illnesses and his numerous brushes with death. You have your own quality of life to consider, and that quality has been diminishing along with your dog’s health. 
Like humans, animals have their good days and bad days. For a dog that has had an exceptionally good life, you acknowledge that it’s fitting for him to depart on one of his good days. Even though your heart is shattering into a million pieces and your chest feels like it’s going to implode, you repeat the mantra over and over: Quality of life. Quality of life. Quality of life. You remind yourself that quality of life also applies to quality of death. The word “euthanasia,” as you’ve learned through your exhaustive internet searches, is Greek for “good death.” 
You don’t believe it yet, but in the future you will realize that this “good death” is the greatest love you can show your pet. And love is the greatest, most enduring quality of all.
*****
For Jack Howard-IkenMay 17, 2004 — September 10, 2019

“The Jack Russell Terrier is as stubborn as they come, which may be why this breed lives so long. Given proper care, the life expectancy of this fearless, energetic, vocal dog breed averages about 15 years, possibly even longer.”




Dear Jack,

We never thought you’d live to see old age, but like with everything you did, you exceeded our expectations. 
Here’s to feeling the wind in your face on the other side. 

Love,
Beth, Doug, and Mali



*You might also like to read Jack's post from 2017 on life at Camp Doug*

Pedaling Across Iowa for Pie

RAGBRAI, the Des Moines Register's Annual Bike Ride Across Iowa, is really all about the pie. The Amish, the church ladies, home bakers and commercial bakers alike can be found all along the 500-mile route feeding the masses their homemade goods from strawberry-rhubarb, peach, blackberry, apple and more. Sometimes they even have homemade ice cream to go with it. Which is why I just HAD to pump up my tires and join in the fun for three out of the seven days -- along with nearly 30,000 other people on bikes.
 

I hadn't planned on riding this year, but once the event got underway and I started seeing all the pictures and the social media posts of all those people smiling and laughing and exercising -- and yes, eating all that pie -- I developed a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out) so I hitched a ride to Bloomfield and joined in the sea of bicycles as it flowed eastward.


L to R: Scott Horsley, me, Les CookI caught up with Team NPR -- the acronym can stand for National Public Radio or "No Pie Refused," depending on how you choose to see it -- and rode a few days with economics reporter Scott Horsley and business editor Les Cook. I thought I was in pretty good shape, but oh man, I had a hard time keeping up with these dudes. I thought these guys had desk jobs! But they were motivated by -- and fueled by -- pie. (Scott told me that he first read about RAGBRAI in a Wall Street Journal article that said it's the only long-distance bike ride where you'll gain weight. He's been doing the ride every year since.)

Special delivery: banana cream pie! (photo by Madeline King)Some of those weight-inducing calories were provided by yours truly. After putting in a 50-mile day on my bike, I went home and baked until midnight. The next morning I delivered pies -- banana cream, apple, peach crumble and key lime -- to their support vehicle. When Team NPR rolled in for their daily pit stop they tanked up -- and as you see in the photo below -- some even did a toast with their pie.

photo by Madeline King, IPRThey all commented that you don't see a lot of cream pie on RAGBRAI. That's for obvious reasons -- like 90-degree days with high humidity. (Great biking weather! Especially when there are relentless headwinds. Luckily RAGBRAI provides a sag wagon to transport you to the end of the day's route if you just can't take it anymore.)

Their favorite of my pies, hands down, was the key lime. (The recipe is below.) And guess what? I didn't make that one! Doug did. He's a good pie baker too. But then he had a good teacher. Ha!

I've done the full RAGBRAI ride three times, starting when I was 19 years old -- all the way back in 1981. (RAGBRAI started in 1973 as a bet between two newspaper reporters and is now going into its 48th year.) I've jumped on for a few days at a time during the past nine years I've been back in Iowa, yet never fully committing to the whole week.

But after riding this year -- after getting caught up in the contagious joy and unity of the fellow cyclists (ranging from 10-year-olds to 93-year-olds), after making new friends from all parts of the world, after getting swept up in the common goal of reaching the Mississippi River, after feeling the sense of accomplishment and freedom that comes from covering great distances under your own power, and after breathing in all of rural Iowa's beauty on those car-free country roads...after all that, I am already planning on doing the entire weeklong ride next year.

I even have a team name already -- Team Pieowa.

I posted my team name on Facebook last week. I was only half-joking, but like most of the crazy adventures that happen in my life, it gained momentum almost immediately after several people left comments. They wanted to join, someone offered to help with the support crew, and the next thing you know the idea has gone from wishful thinking to really happening.

If you want to join me, let me know. We'll need a support vehicle (maybe a van or bus or RV or just bike trailer) and a driver. We'll want to get team jerseys designed. (Any graphic artists out there jonesing for a project?) If nothing else, this will be something fun to focus on during the long winter months, something to look forward to and a reason to not slack off on the exercise. There will be no last-minute decision to go, no FOMO. Only miles of cornfields and open sky; thousands of happy, healthy people; new friends to be made; local communities welcoming visitors; pies waiting to be enjoyed. Like labor pains, I will have long forgotten about the trifecta of heat, headwinds and hills, forgotten a
bout the sore muscles and sunburn, and I'll be excited to do it all over again.

Next summer -- July 19 - 25, 2020 -- you will find me, along with thousands of other people, pedaling across Iowa in a community effort of endurance and fun.

I hope you'll come along for the ride.

For more info on RAGBRAI: https://ragbrai.com

KEY LIME PIE 
GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST  1-1/2 cups graham crackers (about 9 to 12 crackers, at least one sleeve), crushed (increase amount if you’re using a large, deep-dish pie plate)
5 to 6 tbsp butter, melted

Optional ingredients: 1 tsp cinnamon and 1/4 cup sugar (I make mine without these)

Crush crackers by putting in a ziplock bag and roll with rolling pin. Mix melted butter into cracker crumbs, then press into pie plate. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.

FILLING1 (14-oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
4 egg yolks (save 2 egg whites)
1/2 cup fresh squeezed lime juice (To get ½ cup of juice will take about 6 Persian limes.)
2 tsp lime zest (optional but zesty!)

Whisk 4 egg yokes, add condensed milk and lime juice.

Optional step, but one that I always do: Beat 2 egg whites until stiff and fold into this mixture. This will make your filling lighter.

Pour into pie shell. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until filling is set. Let cool, then chill for at least 3 hours. Top with whipped cream. Store in refrigerator up to a week.

TOPPING:1 cup heavy whipping cream
3 tbsp sugar

Beat cream and sugar until peaks form. Spread over top of cooled pie.

TIP:  
Instead of little key limes, you can also use “regular” limes, also known as “Persian” limes. They are bigger and juicier and thus easier to squeeze, but are said to be less tangy than key limes. However, I did a taste test with a few key lime pie aficionados in Key West, people who swear by using key limes, and they all voted for the pie made with the Persian limes. Even the experts were fooled. Go figure. (This is why I insist on questioning authority and thus dispelling myths.)

TIP:
You can use bottled lime juice. Recommended brands are Nellie and Joe’s or Manhattan (unsweetened). It’s a lot faster and easier than squeezing those mini key limes and will keep your fingers from pruning. That said, I always prefer using fresh fruit.