Summer Land's Blog, page 4
October 14, 2016
One Girl, Two Cups: Meet Emma Markezic
Have you ever met someone who makes you extra stoked to be alive? Someone whose chutzpa and zest for life makes you momentarily forget that Donald Trump might be president and that the Great Barrier Reef just died. Someone who is just so genuinely funny and clever and honest to goodness, “good people.”
She had a fresh blow out (seriously the kind of hair you would happily spend hours watching YouTube tutorials trying to replicate) a dazzling smile and witty banter until the cows came home. We met only once in person at a mutual friend’s book launch. Thanks to Instagram and Facebook, I got to continue my girl crush on a daily basis. I followed her stand up comedy career and read several of her articles. Last week, I was blissfully double tapping pictures of super fruits when I saw Emma’s post. She was on the cover of Body + Soul revealing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. It was like hearing the sun stopped shining. I immediately got the article and started reading.
The sun definitely did not stop shining. In fact – it became a super sun. Emma’s reaction to breast cancer is inspiring, funny, admirable and everything our often sad world needs. You MUST read her article HERE. Since Emma is also the most gracious person I’ve ever met, she agreed to answer a few questions for me.
Summer: Have you always checked for lumps in your breasts or was your tumour so large you couldn’t help but notice it?
Emma: I’m going to be real with you right now… I have never checked my breasts. Not once. And yes, this is blatantly OUTRAGEOUS. But I think a lot of women my age don’t; it’s simply not on our radar. But, oh boy, it should be. I happened to discover a lump in my left breast while getting dressed to MC a friend’s wedding. I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t doing a check – I was just hiking my boobs up in my bra because I’d noticed the saxophone player in the wedding band was pretty cute and wanted to look my best. THAT IS IT. But when I did that I felt something; like a frozen pea. I had it checked and within days I was admitted to Sydney’s Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and two weeks later I was undergoing a mastectomy. I think the lesson here is… saxophone players: is there anything they can’t do?!
Summer: Does breast cancer run in your family?
Emma: Nope, not a sausage! Which is why it was so easy to be complacent. I think women of all ages don’t really know what they’re checking for which is why we ditch a medically flavoured fondle in favour of an extra-long shower. “But my breasts are lumpy anyway,” a lot of women tell me. And to that I say: get to your GP. Even just twice a year and let them have a go. Because they do know what they’re looking for and if you happen to have a lump, getting it early is a lifesaver. Quite literally. Don’t be a boob and ignore me, I will hunt you down.
Summer: Did you start questioning WHY? Did you ponder about your diet? Make up? Chemicals? Alcohol intake?
Emma: Well, I didn’t until you mentioned it… gosh. But no, I’ve never questioned why. It’s like asking why I wasn’t born a giraffe. I’ll never know! It’s just how it is. Having cancer doesn’t define me, it’s just another part of my story, in the same way it is for one in eight Australian women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. For now at least, my penchant for rouge and red wine are safe.
Summer: We just had a mental health awareness day and I can’t help but think how healthy your brain is. It seems like you’re so good at pushing negative thoughts away. Have you always had that skill?
Emma: I think we all have that skill; it’s just a matter of digging around for it. The crux of it is this as I see it: only you get to choose how you respond to something. Your initial reaction to a vexing situation might be panic or anguish or rage, but if you step back and drink in some perspective you’ll find you can replace those emotions at will. At will, I’m telling you! It takes practice, I’ll give you that – but it’s doable. So, maybe the car broke down and your toddler is screaming in the back and you just spilt coffee down your new ASOS blouse, but you’re here, you’re alive, you’re free and breathing, and have apparently made your own human! How bad could it be? The absolute heinousness of breast cancer aside, the one thing it’s taught me is how unimportant the minutia of life really is. You don’t exactly see a lot of breast cancer survivors asking – “does this mastectomy make my butt look big?” – because that sort of frippery just tends to melt away with a little objectivity. I don’t suggest everyone go out and pick themselves up some cancer by any means, but perspective is certainly key for a healthy noggin.
Summer: Do you find your friends and family struggling with your breast cancer? I know you’re able to laugh, but do you find you need to comfort people who love you aren’t as capable of seeing our optimistic approach to cancer fighting?
Emma: Dealing with other people’s reactions is one of the hardest things about being diagnosed with cancer. Some people are so awkward that they won’t even so much as send a text because they don’t know what to say; other people will go above and beyond. Swimming through all of that as an adjudicator is overwhelming. And there is a lot of hand-holding involved, which can be pretty tough when you’re the one with the mutant cells. In fact, for anyone who’s been recently diagnosed I’d actually recommend seeking out someone who has been through it before you as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Drawing on their experiences with this will help a lot. Misery loves company and there’s nothing more miserable than cancer. I think we can all agree with that.
Summer: Is this “journey”, haha, NEW EXPERIENCE making it into your stand-up comedy routine?
Emma: Oh, you bet. I’m thinking the title “One girl, two cups” will make for an excellent festival show.
Summer: You write so well. Please tell us there is a book in you.
Emma: Well, with all this cancer-appointed couch time I have officially run out of excuses… So, yes – 2017, WATCH THIS SPACE.
Summer: What have you been doing to pass time during chemo and radiation? Any book reading or movie watching?
Emma: I have become the world’s foremost authority on true crime documentaries. No fooling. I could win a JonBenet Ramsey trivia night at 20 paces. But I’m also working on raising money for breast cancer research. Before I was diagnosed I was as involved as anyone who hasn’t had their life touched by breast cancer before – I bought my fair share of pink water bottles and pink candles and pink ribbons. I even recall at one point thinking, “Man, they must almost have this breast cancer thing licked, right? I mean, there are pink products up the wazoo!” But no – we really don’t have this licked. There is such a long way to go. I hope we can get to a point where no one dies of this disease ever again. That’s the goal, for me at least. Well that, and growing the best white-girl afro the world has ever seen once chemo is over. One step at a time though.
Like Emma said, there is still PLENTY MORE money to raise to fight the good fight. You can donate to the McGrath Foundation HERE. I will also be donating $2 from every book sale on my website throughout October. Get a copy HERE.
That’s how I felt when I met Emma Markezic two years ago.
She had a fresh blow out (seriously the kind of hair you would happily spend hours watching YouTube tutorials trying to replicate) a dazzling smile and witty banter until the cows came home. We met only once in person at a mutual friend’s book launch. Thanks to Instagram and Facebook, I got to continue my girl crush on a daily basis. I followed her stand up comedy career and read several of her articles. Last week, I was blissfully double tapping pictures of super fruits when I saw Emma’s post. She was on the cover of Body + Soul revealing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. It was like hearing the sun stopped shining. I immediately got the article and started reading.
The sun definitely did not stop shining. In fact – it became a super sun. Emma’s reaction to breast cancer is inspiring, funny, admirable and everything our often sad world needs. You MUST read her article HERE. Since Emma is also the most gracious person I’ve ever met, she agreed to answer a few questions for me.
Summer: Have you always checked for lumps in your breasts or was your tumour so large you couldn’t help but notice it?
Emma: I’m going to be real with you right now… I have never checked my breasts. Not once. And yes, this is blatantly OUTRAGEOUS. But I think a lot of women my age don’t; it’s simply not on our radar. But, oh boy, it should be. I happened to discover a lump in my left breast while getting dressed to MC a friend’s wedding. I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t doing a check – I was just hiking my boobs up in my bra because I’d noticed the saxophone player in the wedding band was pretty cute and wanted to look my best. THAT IS IT. But when I did that I felt something; like a frozen pea. I had it checked and within days I was admitted to Sydney’s Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and two weeks later I was undergoing a mastectomy. I think the lesson here is… saxophone players: is there anything they can’t do?!
Summer: Does breast cancer run in your family?
Emma: Nope, not a sausage! Which is why it was so easy to be complacent. I think women of all ages don’t really know what they’re checking for which is why we ditch a medically flavoured fondle in favour of an extra-long shower. “But my breasts are lumpy anyway,” a lot of women tell me. And to that I say: get to your GP. Even just twice a year and let them have a go. Because they do know what they’re looking for and if you happen to have a lump, getting it early is a lifesaver. Quite literally. Don’t be a boob and ignore me, I will hunt you down.
Summer: Did you start questioning WHY? Did you ponder about your diet? Make up? Chemicals? Alcohol intake?
Emma: Well, I didn’t until you mentioned it… gosh. But no, I’ve never questioned why. It’s like asking why I wasn’t born a giraffe. I’ll never know! It’s just how it is. Having cancer doesn’t define me, it’s just another part of my story, in the same way it is for one in eight Australian women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. For now at least, my penchant for rouge and red wine are safe.
Summer: We just had a mental health awareness day and I can’t help but think how healthy your brain is. It seems like you’re so good at pushing negative thoughts away. Have you always had that skill?
Emma: I think we all have that skill; it’s just a matter of digging around for it. The crux of it is this as I see it: only you get to choose how you respond to something. Your initial reaction to a vexing situation might be panic or anguish or rage, but if you step back and drink in some perspective you’ll find you can replace those emotions at will. At will, I’m telling you! It takes practice, I’ll give you that – but it’s doable. So, maybe the car broke down and your toddler is screaming in the back and you just spilt coffee down your new ASOS blouse, but you’re here, you’re alive, you’re free and breathing, and have apparently made your own human! How bad could it be? The absolute heinousness of breast cancer aside, the one thing it’s taught me is how unimportant the minutia of life really is. You don’t exactly see a lot of breast cancer survivors asking – “does this mastectomy make my butt look big?” – because that sort of frippery just tends to melt away with a little objectivity. I don’t suggest everyone go out and pick themselves up some cancer by any means, but perspective is certainly key for a healthy noggin.
Summer: Do you find your friends and family struggling with your breast cancer? I know you’re able to laugh, but do you find you need to comfort people who love you aren’t as capable of seeing our optimistic approach to cancer fighting?
Emma: Dealing with other people’s reactions is one of the hardest things about being diagnosed with cancer. Some people are so awkward that they won’t even so much as send a text because they don’t know what to say; other people will go above and beyond. Swimming through all of that as an adjudicator is overwhelming. And there is a lot of hand-holding involved, which can be pretty tough when you’re the one with the mutant cells. In fact, for anyone who’s been recently diagnosed I’d actually recommend seeking out someone who has been through it before you as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Drawing on their experiences with this will help a lot. Misery loves company and there’s nothing more miserable than cancer. I think we can all agree with that.
Summer: Is this “journey”, haha, NEW EXPERIENCE making it into your stand-up comedy routine?
Emma: Oh, you bet. I’m thinking the title “One girl, two cups” will make for an excellent festival show.
Summer: You write so well. Please tell us there is a book in you.
Emma: Well, with all this cancer-appointed couch time I have officially run out of excuses… So, yes – 2017, WATCH THIS SPACE.
Summer: What have you been doing to pass time during chemo and radiation? Any book reading or movie watching?
Emma: I have become the world’s foremost authority on true crime documentaries. No fooling. I could win a JonBenet Ramsey trivia night at 20 paces. But I’m also working on raising money for breast cancer research. Before I was diagnosed I was as involved as anyone who hasn’t had their life touched by breast cancer before – I bought my fair share of pink water bottles and pink candles and pink ribbons. I even recall at one point thinking, “Man, they must almost have this breast cancer thing licked, right? I mean, there are pink products up the wazoo!” But no – we really don’t have this licked. There is such a long way to go. I hope we can get to a point where no one dies of this disease ever again. That’s the goal, for me at least. Well that, and growing the best white-girl afro the world has ever seen once chemo is over. One step at a time though.
Like Emma said, there is still PLENTY MORE money to raise to fight the good fight. You can donate to the McGrath Foundation HERE. I will also be donating $2 from every book sale on my website throughout October. Get a copy HERE.
The post One Girl, Two Cups: Meet Emma Markezic appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
One Girl Two Cups: Meet Emma Markezic
Have you ever met someone who makes you extra stoked to be alive? Someone whose chutzpa and zest for life makes you momentarily forget that Donald Trump might be president and that the Great Barrier Reef just died. Someone who is just so genuinely funny and clever and honest to goodness, “good people.”
She had a fresh blow out (seriously the kind of hair you would happily spend hours watching YouTube tutorials trying to replicate) a dazzling smile and witty banter until the cows came home. We met only once in person at a mutual friend’s book launch. Thanks to Instagram and Facebook, I got to continue my girl crush on a daily basis. I followed her stand up comedy career and read several of her articles. Last week, I was blissfully double tapping pictures of super fruits when I saw Emma’s post. She was on the cover of Body + Soul revealing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. It was like hearing the sun stopped shining. I immediately got the article and started reading.
The sun definitely did not stop shining. In fact – it became a super sun. Emma’s reaction to breast cancer is inspiring, funny, admirable and everything our often sad world needs. You MUST read her article HERE. Since Emma is also the most gracious person I’ve ever met, she agreed to answer a few questions for me.
Summer: Have you always checked for lumps in your breasts or was your tumour so large you couldn’t help but notice it?
Emma: I’m going to be real with you right now… I have never checked my breasts. Not once. And yes, this is blatantly OUTRAGEOUS. But I think a lot of women my age don’t; it’s simply not on our radar. But, oh boy, it should be. I happened to discover a lump in my left breast while getting dressed to MC a friend’s wedding. I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t doing a check – I was just hiking my boobs up in my bra because I’d noticed the saxophone player in the wedding band was pretty cute and wanted to look my best. THAT IS IT. But when I did that I felt something; like a frozen pea. I had it checked and within days I was admitted to Sydney’s Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and two weeks later I was undergoing a mastectomy. I think the lesson here is… saxophone players: is there anything they can’t do?!
Summer: Does breast cancer run in your family?
Emma: Nope, not a sausage! Which is why it was so easy to be complacent. I think women of all ages don’t really know what they’re checking for which is why we ditch a medically flavoured fondle in favour of an extra-long shower. “But my breasts are lumpy anyway,” a lot of women tell me. And to that I say: get to your GP. Even just twice a year and let them have a go. Because they do know what they’re looking for and if you happen to have a lump, getting it early is a lifesaver. Quite literally. Don’t be a boob and ignore me, I will hunt you down.
Summer: Did you start questioning WHY? Did you ponder about your diet? Make up? Chemicals? Alcohol intake?
Emma: Well, I didn’t until you mentioned it… gosh. But no, I’ve never questioned why. It’s like asking why I wasn’t born a giraffe. I’ll never know! It’s just how it is. Having cancer doesn’t define me, it’s just another part of my story, in the same way it is for one in eight Australian women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. For now at least, my penchant for rouge and red wine are safe.
Summer: We just had a mental health awareness day and I can’t help but think how healthy your brain is. It seems like you’re so good at pushing negative thoughts away. Have you always had that skill?
Emma: I think we all have that skill; it’s just a matter of digging around for it. The crux of it is this as I see it: only you get to choose how you respond to something. Your initial reaction to a vexing situation might be panic or anguish or rage, but if you step back and drink in some perspective you’ll find you can replace those emotions at will. At will, I’m telling you! It takes practice, I’ll give you that – but it’s doable. So, maybe the car broke down and your toddler is screaming in the back and you just spilt coffee down your new ASOS blouse, but you’re here, you’re alive, you’re free and breathing, and have apparently made your own human! How bad could it be? The absolute heinousness of breast cancer aside, the one thing it’s taught me is how unimportant the minutia of life really is. You don’t exactly see a lot of breast cancer survivors asking – “does this mastectomy make my butt look big?” – because that sort of frippery just tends to melt away with a little objectivity. I don’t suggest everyone go out and pick themselves up some cancer by any means, but perspective is certainly key for a healthy noggin.
Summer: Do you find your friends and family struggling with your breast cancer? I know you’re able to laugh, but do you find you need to comfort people who love you aren’t as capable of seeing our optimistic approach to cancer fighting?
Emma: Dealing with other people’s reactions is one of the hardest things about being diagnosed with cancer. Some people are so awkward that they won’t even so much as send a text because they don’t know what to say; other people will go above and beyond. Swimming through all of that as an adjudicator is overwhelming. And there is a lot of hand-holding involved, which can be pretty tough when you’re the one with the mutant cells. In fact, for anyone who’s been recently diagnosed I’d actually recommend seeking out someone who has been through it before you as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Drawing on their experiences with this will help a lot. Misery loves company and there’s nothing more miserable than cancer. I think we can all agree with that.
Summer: Is this “journey”, haha, NEW EXPERIENCE making it into your stand-up comedy routine?
Emma: Oh, you bet. I’m thinking the title “One girl, two cups” will make for an excellent festival show.
Summer: You write so well. Please tell us there is a book in you.
Emma: Well, with all this cancer-appointed couch time I have officially run out of excuses… So, yes – 2017, WATCH THIS SPACE.
Summer: What have you been doing to pass time during chemo and radiation? Any book reading or movie watching?
Emma: I have become the world’s foremost authority on true crime documentaries. No fooling. I could win a JonBenet Ramsey trivia night at 20 paces. But I’m also working on raising money for breast cancer research. Before I was diagnosed I was as involved as anyone who hasn’t had their life touched by breast cancer before – I bought my fair share of pink water bottles and pink candles and pink ribbons. I even recall at one point thinking, “Man, they must almost have this breast cancer thing licked, right? I mean, there are pink products up the wazoo!” But no – we really don’t have this licked. There is such a long way to go. I hope we can get to a point where no one dies of this disease ever again. That’s the goal, for me at least. Well that, and growing the best white-girl afro the world has ever seen once chemo is over. One step at a time though.
Like Emma said, there is still PLENTY MORE money to raise to fight the good fight. You can donate to the McGrath Foundation HERE. I will also be donating $2 from every book sale on my website throughout October. Get a copy HERE.
That’s how I felt when I met Emma Markezic two years ago.
She had a fresh blow out (seriously the kind of hair you would happily spend hours watching YouTube tutorials trying to replicate) a dazzling smile and witty banter until the cows came home. We met only once in person at a mutual friend’s book launch. Thanks to Instagram and Facebook, I got to continue my girl crush on a daily basis. I followed her stand up comedy career and read several of her articles. Last week, I was blissfully double tapping pictures of super fruits when I saw Emma’s post. She was on the cover of Body + Soul revealing that she was diagnosed with breast cancer in May. It was like hearing the sun stopped shining. I immediately got the article and started reading.
The sun definitely did not stop shining. In fact – it became a super sun. Emma’s reaction to breast cancer is inspiring, funny, admirable and everything our often sad world needs. You MUST read her article HERE. Since Emma is also the most gracious person I’ve ever met, she agreed to answer a few questions for me.
Summer: Have you always checked for lumps in your breasts or was your tumour so large you couldn’t help but notice it?
Emma: I’m going to be real with you right now… I have never checked my breasts. Not once. And yes, this is blatantly OUTRAGEOUS. But I think a lot of women my age don’t; it’s simply not on our radar. But, oh boy, it should be. I happened to discover a lump in my left breast while getting dressed to MC a friend’s wedding. I wasn’t looking for it, I wasn’t doing a check – I was just hiking my boobs up in my bra because I’d noticed the saxophone player in the wedding band was pretty cute and wanted to look my best. THAT IS IT. But when I did that I felt something; like a frozen pea. I had it checked and within days I was admitted to Sydney’s Chris O’Brien Lifehouse and two weeks later I was undergoing a mastectomy. I think the lesson here is… saxophone players: is there anything they can’t do?!
Summer: Does breast cancer run in your family?
Emma: Nope, not a sausage! Which is why it was so easy to be complacent. I think women of all ages don’t really know what they’re checking for which is why we ditch a medically flavoured fondle in favour of an extra-long shower. “But my breasts are lumpy anyway,” a lot of women tell me. And to that I say: get to your GP. Even just twice a year and let them have a go. Because they do know what they’re looking for and if you happen to have a lump, getting it early is a lifesaver. Quite literally. Don’t be a boob and ignore me, I will hunt you down.
Summer: Did you start questioning WHY? Did you ponder about your diet? Make up? Chemicals? Alcohol intake?
Emma: Well, I didn’t until you mentioned it… gosh. But no, I’ve never questioned why. It’s like asking why I wasn’t born a giraffe. I’ll never know! It’s just how it is. Having cancer doesn’t define me, it’s just another part of my story, in the same way it is for one in eight Australian women who will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. For now at least, my penchant for rouge and red wine are safe.
Summer: We just had a mental health awareness day and I can’t help but think how healthy your brain is. It seems like you’re so good at pushing negative thoughts away. Have you always had that skill?
Emma: I think we all have that skill; it’s just a matter of digging around for it. The crux of it is this as I see it: only you get to choose how you respond to something. Your initial reaction to a vexing situation might be panic or anguish or rage, but if you step back and drink in some perspective you’ll find you can replace those emotions at will. At will, I’m telling you! It takes practice, I’ll give you that – but it’s doable. So, maybe the car broke down and your toddler is screaming in the back and you just spilt coffee down your new ASOS blouse, but you’re here, you’re alive, you’re free and breathing, and have apparently made your own human! How bad could it be? The absolute heinousness of breast cancer aside, the one thing it’s taught me is how unimportant the minutia of life really is. You don’t exactly see a lot of breast cancer survivors asking – “does this mastectomy make my butt look big?” – because that sort of frippery just tends to melt away with a little objectivity. I don’t suggest everyone go out and pick themselves up some cancer by any means, but perspective is certainly key for a healthy noggin.
Summer: Do you find your friends and family struggling with your breast cancer? I know you’re able to laugh, but do you find you need to comfort people who love you aren’t as capable of seeing our optimistic approach to cancer fighting?
Emma: Dealing with other people’s reactions is one of the hardest things about being diagnosed with cancer. Some people are so awkward that they won’t even so much as send a text because they don’t know what to say; other people will go above and beyond. Swimming through all of that as an adjudicator is overwhelming. And there is a lot of hand-holding involved, which can be pretty tough when you’re the one with the mutant cells. In fact, for anyone who’s been recently diagnosed I’d actually recommend seeking out someone who has been through it before you as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. Drawing on their experiences with this will help a lot. Misery loves company and there’s nothing more miserable than cancer. I think we can all agree with that.
Summer: Is this “journey”, haha, NEW EXPERIENCE making it into your stand-up comedy routine?
Emma: Oh, you bet. I’m thinking the title “One girl, two cups” will make for an excellent festival show.
Summer: You write so well. Please tell us there is a book in you.
Emma: Well, with all this cancer-appointed couch time I have officially run out of excuses… So, yes – 2017, WATCH THIS SPACE.
Summer: What have you been doing to pass time during chemo and radiation? Any book reading or movie watching?
Emma: I have become the world’s foremost authority on true crime documentaries. No fooling. I could win a JonBenet Ramsey trivia night at 20 paces. But I’m also working on raising money for breast cancer research. Before I was diagnosed I was as involved as anyone who hasn’t had their life touched by breast cancer before – I bought my fair share of pink water bottles and pink candles and pink ribbons. I even recall at one point thinking, “Man, they must almost have this breast cancer thing licked, right? I mean, there are pink products up the wazoo!” But no – we really don’t have this licked. There is such a long way to go. I hope we can get to a point where no one dies of this disease ever again. That’s the goal, for me at least. Well that, and growing the best white-girl afro the world has ever seen once chemo is over. One step at a time though.
Like Emma said, there is still PLENTY MORE money to raise to fight the good fight. You can donate to the McGrath Foundation HERE. I will also be donating $2 from every book sale on my website throughout October. Get a copy HERE.
The post One Girl Two Cups: Meet Emma Markezic appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
October 10, 2016
Momtrapment
I’m going to assume you’ve seen the cinematic masterpiece, Entrapment.
On the off chance you haven’t, I will forgive you because 1999 was an exceptional year for Hollywood. I don’t know if it was magical cocaine or a new type of wheatgrass, but the moviemakers did some life changing work. I mean, come on: The Blair Witch Project, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers, The Sixth Sense, The Mummy, Runaway Bride, The Matrix, Notting Hill, The Green Mile, Big Daddy, Star Wars, American Pie, The Talented Mr Ripley, American Beauty….the list goes on.
As a 12-year-old, my brain could hardly absorb my required reading at school or remember to feed my Nano Pet because all I could think about was Mz Zeta-Jones working her way through a room of lasers (blindfolded) while Sean Mother-Phucking Connery guided her with his coarse and tantalising voice. (I also developed a very real and very deep crush on Brendan Fraser as an all around badass Egypt expert, but that’s another story.)
(GIF from here.)
After watching Entrapment, I would rearrange my bedroom furniture into a challenging obstacle course. I’d then manoeuvre around my plastic blow up chair (filled with confetti,) my trunk from summer camp, my great aunt’s stool, my trundle and then scale my four post bed to retrieve a very expensive one of a kind piece of art aka one of my Hanson posters from Tiger Beat magazine for “Sean Connery.” (My cardboard cut out of Betty Boop.)
Little did I know this type of training would be preparing me for motherhood. Before I was a mom, I always pictured my kids sleeping in their own rooms. It didn’t take long to learn that it’s inevitable that your child (or children) will sleep in your room at some point. Maybe it’s only once a year, maybe it’s every night, maybe it’s only on rare occasions like teething or an ear infection. For me – it’s Every Single Night because we’re renovating. Our three-year-old is in a cot next to our bed and our 15-month-old is in our walk-in closet.
Since both of my kids go to bed at 7, I have a few hours to myself before I go to bed. Even though my kids are pretty good at going to sleep, they’re not great at staying asleep. I can’t flick on the light without stirring from at least one of them. If you’re a parent or babysitter or nanny, you’ll know that there is no greater defeat than a child waking when all you want to do is either drink wine and watch Chelsea Handler or SLEEP. Because of this, I’ve spent the past two years navigating my bedroom and bathroom in complete darkness. I know what you’re thinking – what about a flashlight? No. Doesn’t work. It’s like they are Vampires and freak out at any signs of daylight.
(GIF from here.)
Last night, I entered our room and carefully removed my slippers. (I’m wise enough to put on PJs and brush my teeth in the kitchen before going to bed.) I took a full seven seconds to turn the door handle and gently release it back to its closed position. Next, I headed through our walk in closet (past my sleeping baby) and took exactly 4.5 steps to the toilet where I peed. I was careful to lean forward so my stream would hit the front of the toilet and slowly stream down into the toilet bowl. God forbid I accidentally hit urine directly on water. It might as well be a Niagara Falls alarm clock. After I wipe, I do not flush. I pull up my pants and take two steps to the power point where our oil heater is plugged in. I flip it on and head back through the closet.
I pause to cover our son with the blanket he’s kicked off. This must be done or else we have a 4am wake up. Five steps later, I’m back in the bedroom and blindingly reaching for the remote control to turn on our other heater. As my hand hovers over our dresser, I panic because I can’t feel it in the pile of crap I forgot to put away from when I decided to, “clean out my junk drawer” three days ago. I take a step forward and feel the earth move.
Sh*t. I’m on a foam roller. Luckily, I had trained for this by wearing nothing but platform flip flops from 6th-10th grade. I ride the foam wave backwards and land on my feet. At last, the controller is in my hand and our room will soon be an optimal sleeping temperature.
(GIF from here.)
Feeling relaxed, my body jolts when our dog barks.
Our daughter makes a noise. FREEZE. I do not move. I do not breathe. She starts to cry. This is when I take six swift steps to my right and two perfectly timed step forward (to avoid the corner of our footboard.) I place one hand on our daughter’s back and let out my breath with a, “Shhhhhhhh.” She is asleep within seconds.
Since I’m now only a foot from my bed, I tuck and roll across the King sized mattress to my side. I reach to the floor and plug in my phone. without needing to look for the tiny hole. I now only have roughly three seconds to get the covers right. Our giant feather comforter sounds like a jet engine when you fluff it over your body. At last, it is quiet. It is still dark and my kids are asleep. I should probably consider getting night vision goggles, but then I might have a weird Silence of the Lambs nightmare.
(GIF from here.)
Anyway, thank you, Catherine, for showing me how to move with cat-like agility. And thank you Sean Connery for meeting me in my dreams. (Anthony Hopkins – you can come too if you want.)
Want more? Get my memoir HERE.
On the off chance you haven’t, I will forgive you because 1999 was an exceptional year for Hollywood. I don’t know if it was magical cocaine or a new type of wheatgrass, but the moviemakers did some life changing work. I mean, come on: The Blair Witch Project, The Thomas Crown Affair, Austin Powers, The Sixth Sense, The Mummy, Runaway Bride, The Matrix, Notting Hill, The Green Mile, Big Daddy, Star Wars, American Pie, The Talented Mr Ripley, American Beauty….the list goes on.
As a 12-year-old, my brain could hardly absorb my required reading at school or remember to feed my Nano Pet because all I could think about was Mz Zeta-Jones working her way through a room of lasers (blindfolded) while Sean Mother-Phucking Connery guided her with his coarse and tantalising voice. (I also developed a very real and very deep crush on Brendan Fraser as an all around badass Egypt expert, but that’s another story.)
(GIF from here.)
After watching Entrapment, I would rearrange my bedroom furniture into a challenging obstacle course. I’d then manoeuvre around my plastic blow up chair (filled with confetti,) my trunk from summer camp, my great aunt’s stool, my trundle and then scale my four post bed to retrieve a very expensive one of a kind piece of art aka one of my Hanson posters from Tiger Beat magazine for “Sean Connery.” (My cardboard cut out of Betty Boop.)
Little did I know this type of training would be preparing me for motherhood. Before I was a mom, I always pictured my kids sleeping in their own rooms. It didn’t take long to learn that it’s inevitable that your child (or children) will sleep in your room at some point. Maybe it’s only once a year, maybe it’s every night, maybe it’s only on rare occasions like teething or an ear infection. For me – it’s Every Single Night because we’re renovating. Our three-year-old is in a cot next to our bed and our 15-month-old is in our walk-in closet.
Since both of my kids go to bed at 7, I have a few hours to myself before I go to bed. Even though my kids are pretty good at going to sleep, they’re not great at staying asleep. I can’t flick on the light without stirring from at least one of them. If you’re a parent or babysitter or nanny, you’ll know that there is no greater defeat than a child waking when all you want to do is either drink wine and watch Chelsea Handler or SLEEP. Because of this, I’ve spent the past two years navigating my bedroom and bathroom in complete darkness. I know what you’re thinking – what about a flashlight? No. Doesn’t work. It’s like they are Vampires and freak out at any signs of daylight.
(GIF from here.)
Last night, I entered our room and carefully removed my slippers. (I’m wise enough to put on PJs and brush my teeth in the kitchen before going to bed.) I took a full seven seconds to turn the door handle and gently release it back to its closed position. Next, I headed through our walk in closet (past my sleeping baby) and took exactly 4.5 steps to the toilet where I peed. I was careful to lean forward so my stream would hit the front of the toilet and slowly stream down into the toilet bowl. God forbid I accidentally hit urine directly on water. It might as well be a Niagara Falls alarm clock. After I wipe, I do not flush. I pull up my pants and take two steps to the power point where our oil heater is plugged in. I flip it on and head back through the closet.
I pause to cover our son with the blanket he’s kicked off. This must be done or else we have a 4am wake up. Five steps later, I’m back in the bedroom and blindingly reaching for the remote control to turn on our other heater. As my hand hovers over our dresser, I panic because I can’t feel it in the pile of crap I forgot to put away from when I decided to, “clean out my junk drawer” three days ago. I take a step forward and feel the earth move.
Sh*t. I’m on a foam roller. Luckily, I had trained for this by wearing nothing but platform flip flops from 6th-10th grade. I ride the foam wave backwards and land on my feet. At last, the controller is in my hand and our room will soon be an optimal sleeping temperature.
(GIF from here.)
Feeling relaxed, my body jolts when our dog barks.
WOOOOOOOOF! (Damn nocturnal Australian fauna.)
Our daughter makes a noise. FREEZE. I do not move. I do not breathe. She starts to cry. This is when I take six swift steps to my right and two perfectly timed step forward (to avoid the corner of our footboard.) I place one hand on our daughter’s back and let out my breath with a, “Shhhhhhhh.” She is asleep within seconds.
Since I’m now only a foot from my bed, I tuck and roll across the King sized mattress to my side. I reach to the floor and plug in my phone. without needing to look for the tiny hole. I now only have roughly three seconds to get the covers right. Our giant feather comforter sounds like a jet engine when you fluff it over your body. At last, it is quiet. It is still dark and my kids are asleep. I should probably consider getting night vision goggles, but then I might have a weird Silence of the Lambs nightmare.
(GIF from here.)
Anyway, thank you, Catherine, for showing me how to move with cat-like agility. And thank you Sean Connery for meeting me in my dreams. (Anthony Hopkins – you can come too if you want.)
Want more? Get my memoir HERE.
The post Momtrapment appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
July 12, 2016
When It Rains, It Does Not Pour
Oh the joys of renovating.
In April, I moved my kids to Florida for three and a half months so that my husband, Paul, could finish building our dream home in Australia. After two years of having our babies live in our closet (it’s a big closet, I promise), it was time to do the addition and give our kids bedrooms that they could cover in Frozen stickers and Baby Bell Cheese wax. After much deliberation, we decided it would be best if we spent the summer at my mom’s house so Paul could work non-stop on the project. We knew it would be hard to leave our amazing friends and family routine, but in the long run – it sounded like a great plan. We’d play at Disney and then come home to a finished house, right?! Wrong.
It’s raining in Mudgee.
A lot. So much so that they couldn’t pour a slab. (Apparently It’s pretty hard to build a house without a foundation.) On the bright side – my kids got to spend quality time in magical Florida! They went to Disney, played in pools, attended an incredible school with beyond kind and loving teachers, ate their body weights in watermelon, learned all about the greatness that is Publix and got very good at using FaceTime to chat to their dad. Oh we also got to skip winter, which is nice because Paul turned off the heat thinking the slab would be poured, “any day.”
Luckily, we only have one more week until Paul gets to fly over and play “Summer in Florida” for a couple weeks. Then we’ll fly back to Australia, move our kids back into our bedroom and build us a house TOGETHER. Because I think that’s the way things are supposed to be.
The post When It Rains, It Does Not Pour appeared first on Summer Land.
When It Rains, It Pours
Oh the joys of renovating.
In April, I moved my kids to Florida for three and a half months so that my husband, Paul, could finish building our dream home in Australia. After two years of having our babies live in our closet (it’s a big closet, I promise), it was time to do the addition and give our kids bedrooms that they could cover in Frozen stickers and Baby Bell Cheese wax. After much deliberation, we decided it would be best if we spent the summer at my mom’s house so Paul could work non-stop on the project. We knew it would be hard to leave our amazing friends and family routine, but in the long run – it sounded like a great plan. We’d play at Disney and then come home to a finished house, right?! Wrong.
A lot. So much so that they couldn’t pour a slab. (Apparently It’s pretty hard to build a house without a foundation.) On the bright side – my kids got to spend quality time in magical Florida! They went to Disney, played in pools, attended an incredible school with beyond kind and loving teachers, ate their body weights in watermelon, learned all about the greatness that is Publix and got very good at using FaceTime to chat to their dad. Oh we also got to skip winter, which is nice because Paul turned off the heat thinking the slab would be poured, “any day.”
Luckily, we only have one more week until Paul gets to fly over and play “Summer in Florida” for a couple weeks. Then we’ll fly back to Australia, move our kids back into our bedroom and build us a house TOGETHER. Because I think that’s the way things are supposed to be.
In April, I moved my kids to Florida for three and a half months so that my husband, Paul, could finish building our dream home in Australia. After two years of having our babies live in our closet (it’s a big closet, I promise), it was time to do the addition and give our kids bedrooms that they could cover in Frozen stickers and Baby Bell Cheese wax. After much deliberation, we decided it would be best if we spent the summer at my mom’s house so Paul could work non-stop on the project. We knew it would be hard to leave our amazing friends and family routine, but in the long run – it sounded like a great plan. We’d play at Disney and then come home to a finished house, right?! Wrong.
It’s raining in Mudgee.
A lot. So much so that they couldn’t pour a slab. (Apparently It’s pretty hard to build a house without a foundation.) On the bright side – my kids got to spend quality time in magical Florida! They went to Disney, played in pools, attended an incredible school with beyond kind and loving teachers, ate their body weights in watermelon, learned all about the greatness that is Publix and got very good at using FaceTime to chat to their dad. Oh we also got to skip winter, which is nice because Paul turned off the heat thinking the slab would be poured, “any day.”
Luckily, we only have one more week until Paul gets to fly over and play “Summer in Florida” for a couple weeks. Then we’ll fly back to Australia, move our kids back into our bedroom and build us a house TOGETHER. Because I think that’s the way things are supposed to be.
The post When It Rains, It Pours appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
July 1, 2016
Everything You Need To Know About Going To Disney With A Toddler & Infant
Tips and advice from a survivor
1. Don’t be hungover. After all, parenting is basically a giant hangover without the fun of drinking cocktails on a yacht. My daughter decided to be the definition of awake the night before Disney and we only got a total of 4 hours of sleep. If I had been drinking (while she explored the hotel room at 3am,) our trip would have just been me drinking Gatorade and eating a $24 burger while she watched her iPad in bed.
2. Consuming a tiny bit of ADD medication is a good idea. However, don’t take too much. You don’t want to suddenly need to have life talks with every one on the monorail.
3. If you stay at a Disney resort you’ll be given a Magic Band aka Disney Fit Bit. It’s your hotel room key as well as a great way to charge things to your room while you’re at the park. Instead of letting you know you’ve walked 20,000 steps (which you will) it lets you know that you spent $612 on bottled water, ice cream, face painting, mouse ears and a very realistic looking foam rock.
4. Be Gen Y. The best way to “Do Disney” is with the Disney App. You can plan your fast passes, book reservations, keep track of photos and find out where your kids’ favourite characters are. It’s very well designed and will make your time there much more enjoyable. (Definitely make lunch and dinner reservations!)
5. Bring your best friend. While you hold both of your children (one in a carrier on your back and the other asleep in your arms) in a 70 minute line for the Peter Pan ride, she’ll work her magic on the Disney App so that between the two of you — you get six fast passes and never have to do that kind of strength training again.
6. There will be bugs. (The kind you can’t see. I’ve been peeing out of my butt for a week now.) You also need to accept the fact that your two-year-old will lick every handrail and wet sink basin in a very public bathroom. (Note: make sure said friend has a very strong immune system. My friend doesn’t have kids so she wasn’t conditioned for the kind of fluids my children can excrete.)
7. Wear a fanny pack. (aka bum bag). I know that they’re predominantly used by obese people in the United States and festival goers in Australia and Europe, but I swear they’re legit for mom life too. We were constantly parking the stroller and leaving it unattended to go on rides. It just makes sense to keep your phone and wallet on your body.
8. Meet Mickey. The moment your toddler looks at Mickey and excitedly compliments his shoes and gloves and tells him that her dad lives in Australia will make your mild stomach bug completely worth it
9. Have a doctor appointment booked for when you get home because almost every family member will need antibiotics. (And then toys and yogurt so you can bribe your child to take the pills you’ve crushed and laced her yogurt with. This ear infection will be more expensive than your entire trip to Disney.)
10. Expect magic. You’ll dance in the street with Olaf and dine with Daisy Duck. You’ll meet people from all over the world who also want to experience the allure of Disney. You’ll watch your kids’ eyes light up and try to process the fact that they just talked to Mickey Mouse. They will spin around in giant tea cups at the Mad Tea Party and “fly” on a magic carpet with Aladdin. You and your children will leave feeling inspired and wonderstruck. You will also feel like you need a shower, glass of wine and a Costco-sized bottle of Pepto Bismal.
Still keen to Do Disney? Plan your trip!
1. Don’t be hungover. After all, parenting is basically a giant hangover without the fun of drinking cocktails on a yacht. My daughter decided to be the definition of awake the night before Disney and we only got a total of 4 hours of sleep. If I had been drinking (while she explored the hotel room at 3am,) our trip would have just been me drinking Gatorade and eating a $24 burger while she watched her iPad in bed.
2. Consuming a tiny bit of ADD medication is a good idea. However, don’t take too much. You don’t want to suddenly need to have life talks with every one on the monorail.
3. If you stay at a Disney resort you’ll be given a Magic Band aka Disney Fit Bit. It’s your hotel room key as well as a great way to charge things to your room while you’re at the park. Instead of letting you know you’ve walked 20,000 steps (which you will) it lets you know that you spent $612 on bottled water, ice cream, face painting, mouse ears and a very realistic looking foam rock.
4. Be Gen Y. The best way to “Do Disney” is with the Disney App. You can plan your fast passes, book reservations, keep track of photos and find out where your kids’ favourite characters are. It’s very well designed and will make your time there much more enjoyable. (Definitely make lunch and dinner reservations!)
5. Bring your best friend. While you hold both of your children (one in a carrier on your back and the other asleep in your arms) in a 70 minute line for the Peter Pan ride, she’ll work her magic on the Disney App so that between the two of you — you get six fast passes and never have to do that kind of strength training again.
6. There will be bugs. (The kind you can’t see. I’ve been peeing out of my butt for a week now.) You also need to accept the fact that your two-year-old will lick every handrail and wet sink basin in a very public bathroom. (Note: make sure said friend has a very strong immune system. My friend doesn’t have kids so she wasn’t conditioned for the kind of fluids my children can excrete.)
7. Wear a fanny pack. (aka bum bag). I know that they’re predominantly used by obese people in the United States and festival goers in Australia and Europe, but I swear they’re legit for mom life too. We were constantly parking the stroller and leaving it unattended to go on rides. It just makes sense to keep your phone and wallet on your body.
8. Meet Mickey. The moment your toddler looks at Mickey and excitedly compliments his shoes and gloves and tells him that her dad lives in Australia will make your mild stomach bug completely worth it
9. Have a doctor appointment booked for when you get home because almost every family member will need antibiotics. (And then toys and yogurt so you can bribe your child to take the pills you’ve crushed and laced her yogurt with. This ear infection will be more expensive than your entire trip to Disney.)
10. Expect magic. You’ll dance in the street with Olaf and dine with Daisy Duck. You’ll meet people from all over the world who also want to experience the allure of Disney. You’ll watch your kids’ eyes light up and try to process the fact that they just talked to Mickey Mouse. They will spin around in giant tea cups at the Mad Tea Party and “fly” on a magic carpet with Aladdin. You and your children will leave feeling inspired and wonderstruck. You will also feel like you need a shower, glass of wine and a Costco-sized bottle of Pepto Bismal.
Still keen to Do Disney? Plan your trip!
The post Everything You Need To Know About Going To Disney With A Toddler & Infant appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
June 13, 2016
We Are Orlando
When horrific things happen, I feel an overwhelming amount of anxiety that I brought children into a world that I knew could be cruel. I mentioned this to a friend once and she told me that she had hope that our children would change the way people act.
Our children will be kind, loving, empathetic, non judgemental, accepting and careful with their words and actions. They will not rape. They will not steal. They will not be mean to animals. They will not have the terms “prejudice” or “homophobic” in their vocabulary. They will not be greedy. They will be kind to the earth and to each other. As a mother, it is my mission to raise a beautiful soul.Today- Daisy brought home this piece of artwork from daycare. It gave me hope for her future. ❤️
Our children will be kind, loving, empathetic, non judgemental, accepting and careful with their words and actions. They will not rape. They will not steal. They will not be mean to animals. They will not have the terms “prejudice” or “homophobic” in their vocabulary. They will not be greedy. They will be kind to the earth and to each other. As a mother, it is my mission to raise a beautiful soul.Today- Daisy brought home this piece of artwork from daycare. It gave me hope for her future. ❤️
April 11, 2016
And Your Next Book Is… Rose’s Vintage by Kayte Nunn
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I got an Advance Reader’s Copy of Rose’s Vintage and DEVOURED it. (Being a C-List author really has its perks!) Anyway – this novel is everything you need in your life right now. You’ll finish it feeling inspired and thirsty for wine, love, adventure and more! It’s available April 18th from all good book vendors!
I also had the pleasure of asking the author a little bit about herself and writing.
Meet: Kayte Nunn:
1. Can you tell me how Rose’s Vintage came to life? Was this novel always inside of you?
Words have been a part of my life forever, as both a reader and a scribbler of childhood diaries and stories, bad teenage poetry and as part of a career as a features writer and editor. I’d always had a secret dream to write novels, though never the gumption or the courage to actually do it. The perfect storm of circumstances arose nearly three years ago when I had a break of a couple of months between work projects and my youngest daughter was in daycare three days a week. A friend had recently got a publishing contract, I’d read several fairly ordinary books and thought well, I can do better than that (little did I know just how difficult the process was going to be!) and, in my early 40s, it was a case of now or never.
I had begun to write a few short stories, and enjoyed the process enormously – I loved how writing stories made me feel – it filled me up and I loved the sense of achievement, that’d I’d created something out of nothing.
One rainy winter’s day I was sitting in Bondi at a café looking out at the grey ocean and the litter blowing around in the wind, and I began to wonder what would happen if you turned up in Australia from the other side of the world, expecting sunshine and the general gorgeousness that’s depicted in tv shows such as Home & Away and Bondi Rescue, and found that it was nothing like you’d expected…
2. As a fellow mother of two, I’d love to hear what your writing process like!
Ha! I’m not sure there is a process. It’s been a case of snatching time where I can, of sticking to my guns when I’ve made time to write, of escaping up to our bedroom or the library for a few hours at the weekend, or schlepping my laptop to my daughter’s swim practice, or sitting in the car at her soccer practice, tapping away. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to have between 10-3 to write, virtually uninterrupted, though always, always, the hour between 2 and 3pm before school pick up is my most productive!
I’ve found that I have to prioritise my writing. I look at my diary a week in advance and work out when I can fit in some writing time and try and stick to it and not let anything else – groceries, catching up with friends, laundry – get in the way. My house isn’t very clean and is certainly very dusty!
In terms of planning, I spend some time thinking about my characters and what their story might be before writing a rough outline, which gets refined as I get more into the story. I try and plan what will happen in each chapter, so that on the days when I am feeling less inspired I can look at the chapter and know what scenes I have to get on with. I generally know the ending before I start writing, where I eventually want to end up. If I get lost in the process I summarise the chapters on different coloured post-it notes (one colour for each narrator) and lay them out to help me see a pattern, and balance the narrative.
3. I read that you are the former editor of Gourmet Traveller Wine magazine… did you ever get to head to Mudgee? If yes, tell me about your favourite wineries
I love Botobolar, Lowe, Robert Steins & Pieter Van Gent…. and Logans. Okay fine, I love them all!
Heavens, I am embarrassed to say that I’ve not yet made it to Mudgee. It’s high on my list, not least because an old friend has a wonderful house to rent there – the Tannery – that looks like an amazing place to kick back with a large glass of red on a cold night. I also met the owners of Short Sheep while I was writing Rose’s Vintage and they gave me some invaluable advice about babydoll sheep, which feature in the book.
4. You’ve hinted that there is a second instalment, can you tell me more about that?
Yes, there is a second book in the series, called The Angels’ Share (which is what the wine that’s lost to evaporation when it’s in the barrel is known as), which introduces some new characters to the valley, but also continues the story of Rose and Mark. It’s due to be published in 2017. I’ve also been asked to write a synopsis for a third in the series, but at the moment I’ve changed tack and am writing a historical mystery about a late-Victorian female plant hunter and botanical illustrator.
5. What was your publishing process like? Did it happen overnight?
It took about three years – so not overnight at all! I spent about a year writing a first draft and then sent out my three chapters and synopsis. I got my fair share of rejections, but then my current agent read my submission and asked for a month to read the whole thing. After a month, she rang me and we had a long chat and she gave me lots of advice on changes. We gelled almost immediately. I took those on board and resubmitted to her again with a revised version several months later. She was happy with my changes, and began the process of submissions. Several publishers said they liked it, but that it was too close in tone or subject-matter to other writers in their stable. One publisher offered a great deal of good advice and so I went away again and rewrote (and had to ditch the first three chapters – gulp!) some more. Then, Black Inc had been sent a copy, as they were developing a contemporary fiction list, and they came back and offered for it, and the second book in the series, which I was by then half-way through writing. It’s been a great experience to be published by a smaller publisher who has really believed in and got behind the book. Rose’s Vintage has now also sold in Germany and Poland.
6. What are you currently reading?
I’ve just finished Favel Parrett’s Past the Shallows, which I absolutely loved and reminded me a lot of Tim Winton’s writing about the ocean. I’m now reading a YA book called Maladapted by Richard Kurti. I knew him years ago when he was a fledgling scriptwriter and I came across his name on Twitter a few weeks ago. It’s an odd feeling to read a book by someone I once knew well. It’s a great high-concept, action-packed novel and I can really see it working as a movie.
I also had the pleasure of asking the author a little bit about herself and writing.
Meet: Kayte Nunn:
1. Can you tell me how Rose’s Vintage came to life? Was this novel always inside of you?
Words have been a part of my life forever, as both a reader and a scribbler of childhood diaries and stories, bad teenage poetry and as part of a career as a features writer and editor. I’d always had a secret dream to write novels, though never the gumption or the courage to actually do it. The perfect storm of circumstances arose nearly three years ago when I had a break of a couple of months between work projects and my youngest daughter was in daycare three days a week. A friend had recently got a publishing contract, I’d read several fairly ordinary books and thought well, I can do better than that (little did I know just how difficult the process was going to be!) and, in my early 40s, it was a case of now or never.
I had begun to write a few short stories, and enjoyed the process enormously – I loved how writing stories made me feel – it filled me up and I loved the sense of achievement, that’d I’d created something out of nothing.
One rainy winter’s day I was sitting in Bondi at a café looking out at the grey ocean and the litter blowing around in the wind, and I began to wonder what would happen if you turned up in Australia from the other side of the world, expecting sunshine and the general gorgeousness that’s depicted in tv shows such as Home & Away and Bondi Rescue, and found that it was nothing like you’d expected…
as I sat there I could imagine the character of Rose, getting off a bus, severely jet-lagged and wondering where on earth she’d ended up and what the hell she was doing there. I went home and began writing almost immediately.
2. As a fellow mother of two, I’d love to hear what your writing process like!
Ha! I’m not sure there is a process. It’s been a case of snatching time where I can, of sticking to my guns when I’ve made time to write, of escaping up to our bedroom or the library for a few hours at the weekend, or schlepping my laptop to my daughter’s swim practice, or sitting in the car at her soccer practice, tapping away. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to have between 10-3 to write, virtually uninterrupted, though always, always, the hour between 2 and 3pm before school pick up is my most productive!
I’ve found that I have to prioritise my writing. I look at my diary a week in advance and work out when I can fit in some writing time and try and stick to it and not let anything else – groceries, catching up with friends, laundry – get in the way. My house isn’t very clean and is certainly very dusty!
In terms of planning, I spend some time thinking about my characters and what their story might be before writing a rough outline, which gets refined as I get more into the story. I try and plan what will happen in each chapter, so that on the days when I am feeling less inspired I can look at the chapter and know what scenes I have to get on with. I generally know the ending before I start writing, where I eventually want to end up. If I get lost in the process I summarise the chapters on different coloured post-it notes (one colour for each narrator) and lay them out to help me see a pattern, and balance the narrative.
3. I read that you are the former editor of Gourmet Traveller Wine magazine… did you ever get to head to Mudgee? If yes, tell me about your favourite wineries
I love Botobolar, Lowe, Robert Steins & Pieter Van Gent…. and Logans. Okay fine, I love them all!Heavens, I am embarrassed to say that I’ve not yet made it to Mudgee. It’s high on my list, not least because an old friend has a wonderful house to rent there – the Tannery – that looks like an amazing place to kick back with a large glass of red on a cold night. I also met the owners of Short Sheep while I was writing Rose’s Vintage and they gave me some invaluable advice about babydoll sheep, which feature in the book.
4. You’ve hinted that there is a second instalment, can you tell me more about that?
Yes, there is a second book in the series, called The Angels’ Share (which is what the wine that’s lost to evaporation when it’s in the barrel is known as), which introduces some new characters to the valley, but also continues the story of Rose and Mark. It’s due to be published in 2017. I’ve also been asked to write a synopsis for a third in the series, but at the moment I’ve changed tack and am writing a historical mystery about a late-Victorian female plant hunter and botanical illustrator.
5. What was your publishing process like? Did it happen overnight?
It took about three years – so not overnight at all! I spent about a year writing a first draft and then sent out my three chapters and synopsis. I got my fair share of rejections, but then my current agent read my submission and asked for a month to read the whole thing. After a month, she rang me and we had a long chat and she gave me lots of advice on changes. We gelled almost immediately. I took those on board and resubmitted to her again with a revised version several months later. She was happy with my changes, and began the process of submissions. Several publishers said they liked it, but that it was too close in tone or subject-matter to other writers in their stable. One publisher offered a great deal of good advice and so I went away again and rewrote (and had to ditch the first three chapters – gulp!) some more. Then, Black Inc had been sent a copy, as they were developing a contemporary fiction list, and they came back and offered for it, and the second book in the series, which I was by then half-way through writing. It’s been a great experience to be published by a smaller publisher who has really believed in and got behind the book. Rose’s Vintage has now also sold in Germany and Poland.
6. What are you currently reading?
I’ve just finished Favel Parrett’s Past the Shallows, which I absolutely loved and reminded me a lot of Tim Winton’s writing about the ocean. I’m now reading a YA book called Maladapted by Richard Kurti. I knew him years ago when he was a fledgling scriptwriter and I came across his name on Twitter a few weeks ago. It’s an odd feeling to read a book by someone I once knew well. It’s a great high-concept, action-packed novel and I can really see it working as a movie.
Rose’s Vintage by Kayte Nunn is published by Black Inc Books on April 18 and is available from all major book retailers and etailers. For more information on Kayte, go to www.kaytenunn.com.
The post And Your Next Book Is… Rose’s Vintage by Kayte Nunn appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
March 30, 2016
Guest Post: Panic Attack In Afghanistan
Jess O’Reilly is no wimp. She is a bad ass, hilarious, brave, smart and eloquent woman who lives life on the edge and survives to blog about it. You MUST read her story about her panic attack in Afghanistan below. And all of her other crazy tales too!
Panic Attack In Afghanistan
by Jessica O’Reilly
One sunny afternoon, early December in central Kabul, I find myself being escorted to the back door of a beaten-up four-wheel drive by a man with an assault rifle. It’s the first time since arriving in Afghanistan that I’m going somewhere without a trusted chaperon, something everyone forced me to promise I wouldn’t do. The man bearing arms speaks in Farsi and prompts the exchange of sharp laughter with my driver, indiscreetly nodding to me before closing the door. With the noises from the street now sealed off, I’m becoming uncomfortably aware of the guy behind the wheel who smells of stale body odour, cologne and tobacco. Thinking back to the stories of taxi drivers kidnapping and selling foreigners to the Taliban, I’m suddenly consumed with a dizziness of guns, bombs, war and cautions against complacency. Every single travel warning strikes me at once and as the car starts moving I accelerate into panic.
“Stop the car!” I explode.
The driver doesn’t speak a word of English but I guess scared shitless is universal. He pulls over and looks at me completely baffled, an expression I barely catch because I‘ve already started bolting back to the refuge of my accommodation.
Followed by the eyes of men on the street, I think about the woman beaten to death in Kabul after being accused of burning the Quran. I wonder what the hell I’m doing in a country where the Taliban makes “major gains”; a country that is liable to ignite at any time.
Bursting through the door I almost choke with relief. The four walls have retained the smell of the hot breakfast my host made for me a few hours earlier and the room, adorned with large hand-woven floor cushions I love, has never looked so becoming. As I’m standing still, I can hear the soft whistle of the boiling kettle in the kitchen, and suddenly, I fall back down to earth. I feel my tail unwedge from between my legs, and the reality of what I’ve just done is now an issue I have to deal with.
I need to call the guy, Asadullah, who sent the car to collect me and tell him I thought his driver was going to kidnap me for the local extremists. I have to explain that my actions weren’t caused by a real threat, but by the manifestation of fear that has been planted in my mind by international ignorance. And I owe an apology for letting the Western media taint my perception of Afghanistan and the integrity of its people.
This realisation comes as a personal blow because this is the exact social flaw I’d set out to challenge by visiting the country in the first place. My mission was to treat local grocers selling naan with the same nonchalance I would a barman selling sangria in Spain. I wanted to meet the eyes of the curious with a gracious smile, not let the stares cripple me into a state of fear and irrationality.
It’s hard to pin an exact point in time when my subconscious became prejudiced. Maybe when the British government continued to warn against “all but essential travel”, or when I was told to keep a low profile and try not to stand out as a foreigner. I was told to always change directions to avoid being followed or kidnapped, to steer clear of embassies, government offices, police checkpoints, hotels and popular restaurants for expats and other usual targets.
My phone starts flashing with Asadullah’s name and I have no choice but to answer it, sheepishly.
“Jessica, everything okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I lie.
“Are you still coming over?” He is clearly confused. “Should I tell my driver to wait?”
As we drive through the streets, I observe a city that operates under the constant threat of terrorism. A man sells colourful balloons to children just a few metres away from a truck tray full of armed Afghan security forces, and small stalls offer bright trinkets on roads outside heavily guarded embassies. I never knew what to expect in a city trying to recover from decades of war, so it’s hard to know how I feel. But seeing the place alive with restaurants, shops, bakeries, juice bars – people just doing life – I feel I really could be anywhere in the world.
I’m dropped at Asadullah’s traditional Afghan home, which is glorious and large, with lots of unused rooms because he resides in Dubai most of the time. I walk into the living area and find a group of six Afghan men, maybe in their forties, sitting around drinking tea, and staring at me – the blonde foreigner clad in a loose-fitting headscarf – with warm smiles.
“Jessica, come, sit down. You missed lunch but I’ll get my housekeeper to fix something up.”
I learn that these guys are all cousins and three of them are named Asadullah. Two grew up in Germany, three run their own businesses, and one has renounced the Islam faith. As we pass around a joint and have our tea cups regularly topped up by the housekeeper, the tides of our conversation roll into my opinion of their country.
Feeling pretty relaxed by this point, curled up by the fire place with a stomach full of chicken and rice, I decide to tell them what I really think. I tell them about my first day when homeless children pointed and called out “foreigner” and I feared they were drawing unwanted attention from Taliban spies. And I tell them about the remark someone made to my guide about keeping me safe, which convinced me I’d just received a hidden warning that a bomb had been attached to our car.
Basically I tell them about my inability to control my anxieties, which has been unnecessarily impacting on my experiences.
“You know,” responds one Asadullah, ‘we are just as much at risk of the Taliban as you are. We’re lucky they haven’t targeted us yet. I know a lot of people who can’t return to their villages because they’ll be prosecuted for supporting the West.”
I already knew that it wasn’t uncommon for Afghans working for foreign governments to receive written death threats, but I didn’t realise everyday people were being persecuted for things like owning a mobile phone, wearing Western clothes, and even supporting Western pop culture.
It’s here that I realise my insecurities have been limiting what I’m able to absorb about the reality of life in Afghanistan. And the reality is that there are loads of people who see the country through the same lens as me – deep down, they are scared too. The only difference is that they just get on with it and try not to let fear create unfair assumptions about their fellow countrymen.
Panic Attack In Afghanistan
by Jessica O’Reilly
One sunny afternoon, early December in central Kabul, I find myself being escorted to the back door of a beaten-up four-wheel drive by a man with an assault rifle. It’s the first time since arriving in Afghanistan that I’m going somewhere without a trusted chaperon, something everyone forced me to promise I wouldn’t do. The man bearing arms speaks in Farsi and prompts the exchange of sharp laughter with my driver, indiscreetly nodding to me before closing the door. With the noises from the street now sealed off, I’m becoming uncomfortably aware of the guy behind the wheel who smells of stale body odour, cologne and tobacco. Thinking back to the stories of taxi drivers kidnapping and selling foreigners to the Taliban, I’m suddenly consumed with a dizziness of guns, bombs, war and cautions against complacency. Every single travel warning strikes me at once and as the car starts moving I accelerate into panic.
“Stop the car!” I explode.
The driver doesn’t speak a word of English but I guess scared shitless is universal. He pulls over and looks at me completely baffled, an expression I barely catch because I‘ve already started bolting back to the refuge of my accommodation.
Followed by the eyes of men on the street, I think about the woman beaten to death in Kabul after being accused of burning the Quran. I wonder what the hell I’m doing in a country where the Taliban makes “major gains”; a country that is liable to ignite at any time.
Bursting through the door I almost choke with relief. The four walls have retained the smell of the hot breakfast my host made for me a few hours earlier and the room, adorned with large hand-woven floor cushions I love, has never looked so becoming. As I’m standing still, I can hear the soft whistle of the boiling kettle in the kitchen, and suddenly, I fall back down to earth. I feel my tail unwedge from between my legs, and the reality of what I’ve just done is now an issue I have to deal with.
I need to call the guy, Asadullah, who sent the car to collect me and tell him I thought his driver was going to kidnap me for the local extremists. I have to explain that my actions weren’t caused by a real threat, but by the manifestation of fear that has been planted in my mind by international ignorance. And I owe an apology for letting the Western media taint my perception of Afghanistan and the integrity of its people.
This realisation comes as a personal blow because this is the exact social flaw I’d set out to challenge by visiting the country in the first place. My mission was to treat local grocers selling naan with the same nonchalance I would a barman selling sangria in Spain. I wanted to meet the eyes of the curious with a gracious smile, not let the stares cripple me into a state of fear and irrationality.
It’s hard to pin an exact point in time when my subconscious became prejudiced. Maybe when the British government continued to warn against “all but essential travel”, or when I was told to keep a low profile and try not to stand out as a foreigner. I was told to always change directions to avoid being followed or kidnapped, to steer clear of embassies, government offices, police checkpoints, hotels and popular restaurants for expats and other usual targets.
My phone starts flashing with Asadullah’s name and I have no choice but to answer it, sheepishly.
“Jessica, everything okay? What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I lie.
“Are you still coming over?” He is clearly confused. “Should I tell my driver to wait?”
With the knowledge that his driver is still waiting, and wondering why I had vanished, I put on my brave face and get escorted back into the car by the rifle.
As we drive through the streets, I observe a city that operates under the constant threat of terrorism. A man sells colourful balloons to children just a few metres away from a truck tray full of armed Afghan security forces, and small stalls offer bright trinkets on roads outside heavily guarded embassies. I never knew what to expect in a city trying to recover from decades of war, so it’s hard to know how I feel. But seeing the place alive with restaurants, shops, bakeries, juice bars – people just doing life – I feel I really could be anywhere in the world.
I’m dropped at Asadullah’s traditional Afghan home, which is glorious and large, with lots of unused rooms because he resides in Dubai most of the time. I walk into the living area and find a group of six Afghan men, maybe in their forties, sitting around drinking tea, and staring at me – the blonde foreigner clad in a loose-fitting headscarf – with warm smiles.
“Jessica, come, sit down. You missed lunch but I’ll get my housekeeper to fix something up.”
I learn that these guys are all cousins and three of them are named Asadullah. Two grew up in Germany, three run their own businesses, and one has renounced the Islam faith. As we pass around a joint and have our tea cups regularly topped up by the housekeeper, the tides of our conversation roll into my opinion of their country.
“It’s a shame that Afghanistan isn’t a place for tourism at the moment. You really should have come 50 years ago,” they joke. “Tell us, what do you think so far?”
Feeling pretty relaxed by this point, curled up by the fire place with a stomach full of chicken and rice, I decide to tell them what I really think. I tell them about my first day when homeless children pointed and called out “foreigner” and I feared they were drawing unwanted attention from Taliban spies. And I tell them about the remark someone made to my guide about keeping me safe, which convinced me I’d just received a hidden warning that a bomb had been attached to our car.
Basically I tell them about my inability to control my anxieties, which has been unnecessarily impacting on my experiences.
“You know,” responds one Asadullah, ‘we are just as much at risk of the Taliban as you are. We’re lucky they haven’t targeted us yet. I know a lot of people who can’t return to their villages because they’ll be prosecuted for supporting the West.”
I already knew that it wasn’t uncommon for Afghans working for foreign governments to receive written death threats, but I didn’t realise everyday people were being persecuted for things like owning a mobile phone, wearing Western clothes, and even supporting Western pop culture.
It’s here that I realise my insecurities have been limiting what I’m able to absorb about the reality of life in Afghanistan. And the reality is that there are loads of people who see the country through the same lens as me – deep down, they are scared too. The only difference is that they just get on with it and try not to let fear create unfair assumptions about their fellow countrymen.
This story was originally posted here.
The post Guest Post: Panic Attack In Afghanistan appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
March 23, 2016
Meet Kirsty Eager: Author of Summer Skin
I’m not going to lie – I probably wanted to read Summer Skin because my name is in the title. Thank goodness for my narcissistic tendencies because this book RULES. Author Kirsty Eager, wrote the perfect YA Novel about navigating love, sex and relationships on campus. It’s witty, engaging and seriously funny. As someone who really loves specific references to pop culture + analyzing relationships, I was in HEAVEN reading this book. If you’re looking for your next entertaining/ totally empowering beach read – GET SUMMER SKIN.
Here’s my interview with Kirsty! (She’s a total legend and we are going to be best friends in real life one day.)
1. Did you always know that you wanted to be an author? Tell us a little bit about your road to writing!
No, is the short answer. I was always a big reader, and I wrote all the time – kept a journal, wrote angsty, embarrassing poetry – but didn’t realise being an author was an option until later in life. I did economics at uni, worked professionally for long enough to pay off all the debt I’d accumulated at uni, and then quit. My boyfriend and I were travelling around Australia, living out of a car (just like you!) when I started writing surf and travel articles for a bit of extra coin. At the time I was working as a dish pig, so it was a way of reassuring myself I had other skills. Eventually I wrote a novel, got a big-deal agent in the UK, she put it up for auction, and … nobody bid. (Kind of disheartening.) So, I wrote another novel, and that agent dumped me on the strength of it (even more disheartening). I came to grips with the fact that I might never get published and wrote something just for me, and it got there. Yay!
2. Summer Skin is your fourth book and is already being RAVED about. How do you deal with nerves/ anxiety once you have a book released? Are you worried about its reception or is it rather cathartic to let it go live on bookshelves?
Well, for me, the whole writing thing often feels like a Festival of Fails, so that helps (and, yes, I’m talking about AFTER all the fails involved in actually getting published in the first place). I know that sounds defeatist, but I really don’t mean it that way – if anything it’s kind of funny. It’s just that you can’t control much of it, particularly the bit after the book has gone out. And even if you’re winning one day, you’ll probably piss someone off and get bad feedback the next day.
That said, I’m a bit of a precious snow daisy in that I don’t go looking at reactions either. I don’t spend time on Good Reads, for instance – that place scares the hell out of me.
The thing that helps, too, is that I completely lose touch with a story after it’s published. It becomes like a foreign country that I visited once, and had a great time in, but now I can’t remember how to speak the language. It’s not really mine anymore. It’s just somebody that I USED to know (thank you Gotye).
3. Summer Skin is quite empowering and thought provoking for a YA/NA novel. Did you set out to write such a feisty & feminist tale or did it just happen because you’r such a bad ass in real life?
I think I’ve been the beneficiary of some really great female role models. For instance, my mum – who always talked about sex openly and honestly – and some of the ladies I went through college with, who were decidedly shameless in the absolute best sense of the word. They didn’t feel shame about their own sexuality and desire. And I wanted to write about how things REALLY are, in that I get sick of the way women and girls are portrayed in films – as submissive conquests with absolutely no urges of their own. It’s just utter bullshit.
4. What’s next in the pipeline? Will we see Jess again?
I’m working on a Young Adult story called Molassses. It’s totally different to Summer Skin, which, when I think about it, is therefore probably a really dumb career move! I would like to catch up with Jess and Mitch again – I just need to make more time to get back to them quickly.
5. What book are you currently reading? Any favs for us to check out?
I’ve just finished this kickarse memoir called Summerlandish , and I loved it. The author is so honest. She just lays herself open, and in that vulnerability there’s also a really beautiful strength and a lot of humour. In doing so, I think she’s helping a lot of people. Wait. You look familiar …
I’ve also read My Sister Rosa , by Justine Larbalestier. It’s a Young Adult novel about a ten-year-old psychopath and it’s a brilliant thriller. It also works as a handy identifier, because I know now that a few people I’ve always suspected were absolute psychopaths are in fact absolute psychopaths.
And I’m about to open My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante – I’m curious to see what all the fuss is about. Thank you so much for having me Summer Land! xox
Follow Kirsty on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Also check out her website HERE.
Here’s my interview with Kirsty! (She’s a total legend and we are going to be best friends in real life one day.)
1. Did you always know that you wanted to be an author? Tell us a little bit about your road to writing!
No, is the short answer. I was always a big reader, and I wrote all the time – kept a journal, wrote angsty, embarrassing poetry – but didn’t realise being an author was an option until later in life. I did economics at uni, worked professionally for long enough to pay off all the debt I’d accumulated at uni, and then quit. My boyfriend and I were travelling around Australia, living out of a car (just like you!) when I started writing surf and travel articles for a bit of extra coin. At the time I was working as a dish pig, so it was a way of reassuring myself I had other skills. Eventually I wrote a novel, got a big-deal agent in the UK, she put it up for auction, and … nobody bid. (Kind of disheartening.) So, I wrote another novel, and that agent dumped me on the strength of it (even more disheartening). I came to grips with the fact that I might never get published and wrote something just for me, and it got there. Yay!
2. Summer Skin is your fourth book and is already being RAVED about. How do you deal with nerves/ anxiety once you have a book released? Are you worried about its reception or is it rather cathartic to let it go live on bookshelves?
Well, for me, the whole writing thing often feels like a Festival of Fails, so that helps (and, yes, I’m talking about AFTER all the fails involved in actually getting published in the first place). I know that sounds defeatist, but I really don’t mean it that way – if anything it’s kind of funny. It’s just that you can’t control much of it, particularly the bit after the book has gone out. And even if you’re winning one day, you’ll probably piss someone off and get bad feedback the next day.
That said, I’m a bit of a precious snow daisy in that I don’t go looking at reactions either. I don’t spend time on Good Reads, for instance – that place scares the hell out of me.
The thing that helps, too, is that I completely lose touch with a story after it’s published. It becomes like a foreign country that I visited once, and had a great time in, but now I can’t remember how to speak the language. It’s not really mine anymore. It’s just somebody that I USED to know (thank you Gotye).
3. Summer Skin is quite empowering and thought provoking for a YA/NA novel. Did you set out to write such a feisty & feminist tale or did it just happen because you’r such a bad ass in real life?
I think I’ve been the beneficiary of some really great female role models. For instance, my mum – who always talked about sex openly and honestly – and some of the ladies I went through college with, who were decidedly shameless in the absolute best sense of the word. They didn’t feel shame about their own sexuality and desire. And I wanted to write about how things REALLY are, in that I get sick of the way women and girls are portrayed in films – as submissive conquests with absolutely no urges of their own. It’s just utter bullshit.
Once you acknowledge female desire, everything changes. We’ve got appetites and we’ve got teeth.
4. What’s next in the pipeline? Will we see Jess again?
I’m working on a Young Adult story called Molassses. It’s totally different to Summer Skin, which, when I think about it, is therefore probably a really dumb career move! I would like to catch up with Jess and Mitch again – I just need to make more time to get back to them quickly.
5. What book are you currently reading? Any favs for us to check out?
I’ve just finished this kickarse memoir called Summerlandish , and I loved it. The author is so honest. She just lays herself open, and in that vulnerability there’s also a really beautiful strength and a lot of humour. In doing so, I think she’s helping a lot of people. Wait. You look familiar …
I’ve also read My Sister Rosa , by Justine Larbalestier. It’s a Young Adult novel about a ten-year-old psychopath and it’s a brilliant thriller. It also works as a handy identifier, because I know now that a few people I’ve always suspected were absolute psychopaths are in fact absolute psychopaths.
And I’m about to open My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante – I’m curious to see what all the fuss is about. Thank you so much for having me Summer Land! xox
Follow Kirsty on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Also check out her website HERE.
The post Meet Kirsty Eager: Author of Summer Skin appeared first on Summer Land - Author.
