Summer Land's Blog, page 3
March 8, 2017
Laughter In The Outback with Miss Chardy
One of my favorite things about living in Mudgee is that everyone seems to know everyone. It has that Steel Magnolias small town charm where you can’t go to the supermarket without having a thousand conversations about your kids, the weather and the new playground that still needs a sunshade. This tight-knit community has been so accepting of this little American transplant who still says things like “Fall” and “Trash Can,” which is why I wasn’t surprised when a born and bred Mudgee gal sent me an email from the Northern Territory to say hello and congratulate me on my new Summer in Mudgee column in the Mudgee Guardian. (That’s just the way Mudgee people are and I love it.)
Miss Chardy is a fellow blogger and newspaper columnist living on a massive cattle station in The Outback and is so kind, talented and wonderful that I just knew I wanted to interview her for my blog for International Women’s Day! (Which is every day in my world.)
Hi Miss Chardy! You’re fast becoming a famous Real Housewife of the Northern Territory but in our early emails you mentioned that you’re a born and bred Mudgee girl – Did you grow up on a large property?
Yes, born and raised in Mudgee. I grew up in town, Market Street actually and my parents still live in the same orange brick house they built back in the 70’s, god love them!
Where did you meet your husband? Did he already own the station?
I met my husband 3 months after I arrived up in the NT to work as a Governess. He was the Assistant Manager on the station next door – Alexandria (owned by The North Australian Pastoral Company) – and I met him at my very first Campdraft in Camooweal, but please don’t be deceived, I was only there for the party, not for the horses. I am more of an indoor cat.
Did it take some convincing to get you to move out to a station?
I had planned on coming up to the NT for one year back in 2001, after than my plan was to move back to country NSW and “get a real job” as my Mum kept saying.
You have three boys. Were they all born in the NT? Any fast exists for births? (I love birth stories!)
I had all three of my boys in Dubbo, NSW. It just made sense to head home and wait for them to arrive. I headed down about 4 weeks before they were due, which meant I also got to have a good catch up with family and friends. It also made sense for baby number 2 and 3 because Mum and Dad were able to help me with the little boys while I was big and fat waiting to give birth. When we had our third boy my oldest boy, Tom was in year 1, so we put him into school at St Matthews in Mudgee for a couple of weeks. My boys do their schooling via Mt Isa School of the Air so it was a fabulous experience for Tom to be able to go to an actual school. My oldest by is now in year 7 and has just started Boarding School down in Brisbane.
You seem like you have so many skills when it comes to Station Life. I love how you’ve organised medications, food, tutoring, holidays and communicating with the outside world…. Where did you get these skills? Did you have someone show you the way, or did you have to go by trial and error?
I love people, they are my passion and I love communicating and bringing people together. As for station life, I guess you just have to do it and you need to be organised otherwise no one will get fed. Town is a 5 hour drive away so we do a bulk store order about once every 2 months. I place the order via email with a Wholesaler in Mt Isa. Once it arrives in town my husband will send one of our trucks in to collect the order – usually a couple of pallets worth. As for communicating with the outside world, well I started my blog back in 2014 because I was going a little batty here on the station. I was the only girl here for about 2 months and I just needed outside contact. My blog has connected me with like minded women from all over Australia and the world. I have made some amazing friends through my blog and I love nothing more than meeting up with them in real life and bringing people together. I didn’t have a clue what I was doing, I just googled “how do I start a blog” and went from there. I just kept You Tubing how to do everything related to starting a website. I now have around 10,000 views a month on my blog. It is very exciting and such a wonderful community.
Also curious if you’ve ever had a snake bite issue out on the property….
No thank goodness, touch wood. But we do see plenty of snakes. Thankfully our little Jack Russell – Rosie – usually warns us. We have snake bite kits in every vehicle. Lets hope we never have to deal with that one because it usually takes the RFDS plane over an hour to get to us, can be a couple of hours from the first phone call to when they arrive then you have to fly back into Mt Isa. A snake bite certainly wouldn’t be ideal and it does worry me. We have an all weather gravel airstrip for this very reason.
If you had asked me in my early twenties where I’d be living, “Country NSW” was probably not in my top 10 places I thought I’d be. Is the Northern Territory the same for you?
Oh absolutely. After finishing school I moved to Sydney and attended June Dally Watkins Business Finishing School for a year and then worked as a legal secretary in the City. So the NT was certainly not something I ever thought about. I didn’t even know what a Governess was until one of my friends moved up north to work as a Govie. The stories she used to tell me when she came home fascinated me and I couldn’t get out of Sydney fast enough. I threw caution to the wind and just went. First I moved to Bourke NSW, which Mum thought was the end of the earth. It was only 5 hours from home so when I applied for the job in the NT I didn’t tell her until after I had accepted the job. It was a 3 day drive away, she wasn’t all that impressed.
Congrataulations on your Rural Weekly column! That’s so exciting. Has writing always been in your blood?
Thanks, it is so exciting. I never thought I would have a column and something I never thought about. I don’t consider myself to be a “writer”. I can just type faster than I can talk and love sharing my story with people who have no idea about outback life. So no, I don’t really think writing is in my blood, I just ramble on, basically I wing it. Since blogging I have realised that everyone has a story to share and people want to hear it. To me, life up here is pretty mundane and boring but it turns out people want to know all about it.
You say you’re a wine enthusiast. What’s it like to stay well stocked in the outback? Do your favourite Mudgee Wineries deliver?!
Yes, I love my Chardonnay. Perhaps it is because I grew up in the Land of Wine and Honey! I love a Robert Oatley Chardy and a Gooree Park Chardonnay – Mum used to work at Gooree so I used to be very well stocked with this. As for staying well stocked, sometimes I am pretty hopeless at this. There have been many times that I have run out of wine. My best mate next door – which is a 2 hour drive away through our paddocks & 5 gates – sent me over some wine once on their chopper. Their chopper was coming over to do some mustering but the first stop was to drop wine to me, the pilot was under strict instructions – now that is a good friend!!! I also have another friend who lives about 6 hours to the north of me, but she is the stop before us on the mail plane run and she often sends down little packages for me, especially wine if she knows I am all out. Such great friends!
Any Mudgee trips in your future?
I haven’t been to Mudgee in over a year. I am dying to get back. Would love to do a good wine tour. Perhaps I need to collaborate with one of the fabulous wineries down there – now there’s a thought. I haven’t seen my Mum and Dad or Sister (who lives near Gilgandra with her husband and 2 boys) since around July last year. This is the one hard thing about living so far away from family. We are basically “Outback Expats.”
ALSO – What are you currently reading? I just finished The Light Between the Oceans which was brilliant, don’t bother with the movie though, that is 2 hours of my life I will never get back. I also have Summerlandish sitting on my bedside table ready to read – funny that!!!
You can read Miss Chardy’s fabulous blog,
Miss Chardy: Laughter In The Outback Here.
The post Laughter In The Outback with Miss Chardy appeared first on Summer Land.
January 28, 2017
Summer’s Book Club Interviews: Caroline Kepnes
1. Was YOU your first manuscript or had you written anything before?
I wrote dozens of short stories and had many published. I can’t say that enough to people who want to write, especially if you don’t have a lot of time on your hands. It’s the greatest lesson, trying to tell a story in 1000 words and then sending it out to a journal or entering it in a contest and the minute you hit send you’re like oh wait now I know what’s wrong with it! So there were all my stories. I did also write a biography of Stephen Crane for a small academic publisher for kids. That was a great learning experience and later inspired all of the Red Badge of Courage story in You. I also ghost wrote a YA fantasy e-book called Dig under the pen name Audrey Hart. I had started a lot of novels, of course, but I sounded different when I sat down to write a “novel” than I did when I wrote short fiction. More formal, less authentic. That’s where I was finally like, okay, I’ll never do this unless I switch my approach in my mind, stop tensing up and tell myself I’m not writing a novel, I’m just transcribing this guy’s internal monologue, his secret diary, a really long short story.
2. Did you base Joe Goldberg off of anyone in particular? We’re keen to know how you were able to make him so complex and creepy!
Aaah I just let him live in my head. I didn’t base him on anyone, but more on feelings I had. The year before I started writing was very much the worst year of my life. I moved home with my parents, both of whom were very ill. I mean at one point they were in different buildings at a hospital and I was running from one building to another in the freezing cold. My father passed away, a couple days before my birthday. That changes you. And then I had a freak illness of my own where I had to have emergency surgery, then speak primarily through a notepad to avoid talking out loud. At some point, when everything is just shit and you’re back in LA after being away from a year crashing on a friend’s couch and speaking through a notepad…I mean, Joe was born out of the hell fire in my mind. He was the TV show I wished existed, his internal life, his fire, he made me laugh and cringe and I leaned way into that. The writing process was a thing where I wrote the first 8 pages seriously maybe 50 times. Almost memorizing them. Hearing his thought process, learning how I could keep this up for a long time. And then I just wrote the fuck out of it and it saved my life, having this fun place to go every day. It was a very compulsive experience where I could hear him and sometimes I’d have to pull my car over and write in my phone. Oh that’s the dream. But that’s where for me anyway. I don’t get there until raking the start over the coals, thinking and thinking and thinking, until it feels right to me.
3. Did you create your characters first or the plot?
It started with a vague plot, this dream man who’s actually a murderer. A nice masochistic experiment! And I built everyone to push him, because for me, this book was so much about the human experience, what it’s like to be you and me and anyone. How we all have our own version of the world, our own take. So I then thought, who would drive him the craziest?
4. Did you intentionally make Joe’s victims unlikeable so your readers might potentially side with him?
That just sort of happened naturally because of what drove me through the writing process, the way we build the narrative in our mind. Like Peach, if this were her book, she’d paint Joe in a very different light. She’d tell you that he was standoffish and arrogant and shady and spoiled in his own way and you’d read it and probably agree with her. So it wasn’t so much that I thought of these people as unlikable, but I thought about what it feels like when you just hate someone or feel hurt by someone, how isolating that can be because nobody is in your shoes. Nobody quite sees the world from your vantage point.
5. Did you always know that there would be a sequel?
I mean I never loved writing anything so much in my life, so a few chapters in, it was like, I’m not done. I’ll never be done. He’s too much fun!
6. Are there any characters besides Joe that you’re particularly drawn to?
In the book, Karen Minty delighted me to no end. I loved her work ethic and her intense sense of identity. And Ethan. Oh I love Ethan so much. It was hard not to just have hundreds of pages of Ethan praising The Gao. But you know, onward. Maybe that’s why they both got to live!
7. Will there a third Joe Goldberg instalment?!
Eventually oh yes, I have plans for him. The original title of the second book was Love. The publisher wanted something better for search engines, which I get. But I thought of this series as You…Love…Me. The first book was about Joe looking for love, the second was about Joe finding love and experiencing it, now the poor guy is going to be stuck in love, more irritated than ever in some ways, feeling lied to about the joy of…SPOILER ALERT…parenthood.
8. Are there any authors of books in particular that inspired you to write Thriller?
It’s always been a combination of styles for me. The books mentioned in You were all inspirational to me. Impossible Vacation by Spaulding Grey in particular, that’s a real head trip book. And The Silence of the Lambs, how much psychology is going on in there, that’s a book I loved. The same goes for the books I have of lyrics. Springsteen and Prince. I was very keen to make a book that was like the inside of a mind, where all these favorite things are cropping up, Joe’s ports in the storm. And I love Patricia Highsmith and Charles Dickens just so much, the social commentary, my whole life I’ve been drawn to books that make you think just as much about the social norms as the story. Also Lucinda Rosenfeld, her first two books, two of my favorite books, that’s not a thriller but those books were thrilling to me personally.
9. Any writing advice for aspiring authors?
Write when you feel like it and also when you don’t feel like it. I was talking to Jessica Knoll the other day (Luckiest Girl Alive, read it, the book has actual teeth, it does) and she made a great observation about the magic hour in the morning, when your mind is fresh. That hit home with me and it’s something I’ve gotten more away of lately with this new book I’m working on. Thinking is writing. Writing is so much easier if you’ve spent time thinking. Denise Rudberg, badass Swedish writer and just all around gem) she tells her kids that Mommy needs her staring time. I love that phrase. I can’t endorse that enough. All writing comes from something you’re thinking about, feeling. So wake up, say hello to yourself and grab the computer. I write a lot before I even have coffee now and it’s a great time for solving problems. But also everyone is different. Just find that staring time, that thinking time, it doesn’t have to be a lot of time. I mean most of us do not have several hours to walk about the prairie and think. But once you make it a habit, you’d be surprised by how much you can unpack in ten minutes. Another writer I know, he gets a massage once a week, that’s a ritual and he writes in his head the whole time and then he goes home and writes it all in the computer. Find your way. And don’t beat yourself up when you get stuck. It is literally not possible to write without getting stuck. You want to get stuck. It means you’re looking for something. And you will find it.
10. Any more book tours to Australia?
Omigod I want to come back yes. I tell my publisher constantly. They are well aware.
January 20, 2017
Summer’s Book Club Author Interview: Georgia Clark
In September, I got to be on a panel with author, Georgia Clark, at Better Read Than Dead in Newtown for the event, Bad Women: A Discussion about Women, Writing and Likeability. After hearing her talk about her life as a feminist, author, her ideation process and critically acclaimed new book, The Regulars, I knew I needed to read it immediately. By read, I mean devour. And that I did.
Since Georgia is a legend, she agreed to answer some questions for Summer’s Book Club!
Are there any authors or books in particular that inspired you to write fiction with a feminist kick? (The Regulars reminded me of Dietland by Sarai Walker!)
My love for fiction-with-a-feminist-kick really started with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the first time I’d seen a fun, shiny pop culture show with an openly feminist agenda AND a sense of humor. It felt revelatory and revolutionary. I fangirl over books by female comedy writers (Tina Fey/Lena Dunham/Amy Poehler/Mindy Kaling etc) and generally like any smart take on the rom com genre, which mixes the business of being a feminist with the pleasure of love, sex ‘n’ romance (bonus points for girls kissing girls.)
Did you come up with your characters first or the plot?
For this book, it was the premise that came to me first. I’d wanted to write about beauty for a while before the idea for The Regulars came to me, as magically and mysterious as the Pretty itself…. I was at home, editing my last book, glass of wine in hand (natch), and the idea of a serum that turns you pretty popped into my head. Hm, I thought, that’s interesting. As I sat there, a scene began playing in my head as fully-formed as a movie: three different girls in a grounded real-life world, a potion, an unexpected transformation… When it ended I knew instantly it could be a novel. And here we are! Moral of the story: listen to your daydreams.
Did you always know the ending for The Regulars or did it evolve as your were writing?
I had a sense of the tone and emotion of the ending, but the not the exact mechanics of it. The freelance editor I work with says that the feeling you want the reader to end up with on the last page defines the type of book it is. I know I wanted a feel-good ending that was uplifting and hopeful. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. Ironically, the ending was the part that most picked on in reviews. Readers felt it was too neat. Can’t please ‘em all!
As a female author writing about beauty standards, have you had to defend yourself or your work?
If you mean defend it to trolls and people bashing feminist fiction, no. I think there’s a wide gap between fiction and non-fiction, the likelihood someone will take you to task over it because it’s fiction, dummy, I made it up (or did I?). It’s harder to pin down and attack, unlike memoir or essays, which speak the direct truth about someone’s experience or point of view. Plus, my work speaks very directly to a female audience in a way that explores the complex realities of being a woman: I’m not pushing an agenda you might find the need to argue with.
Would you like to see The Regulars in movie or TV form? If yes, would you write it?
That would be a dream come true, an even greater dream than my all-you-can-eat-grilled-cheese-buffet dream, which is also quite wonderful. Before I was a novelist I was an aspiring TV writer: I spent my 20s writing pilots, making trailers, trying to get a break that seemed intent on evading me. (As my mother always tells me, I’ve chosen a difficult path.) Perhaps this is all a way of things coming full circle. Yes, I would be involved in a potential show and yes; there are some fun things in the works. Stay tuned!
The Regulars is your third book (after Parched and She’s With The Band,) what was your road to publication like?
Long and complicated. Less a path, more a washed-out-road-that-isn’t-even-on-this-f**king-map. I’ve had some opportunities handed to me on a silver platter and others refuse to acquiesce to me despite fighting tooth and nail for them. I’ve written two books that didn’t sell and both times thought they would end me (they did not). The first was a young adult novel I wrote without being familiar with young adult writing. It seems so obvious now, but it is near-impossible to sell anything without being familiar with the genre: any assumptions you have about a genre are likely outdated and untrue. I was cocky enough to think I could write a YA without doing my homework; it was a girl-detective called Tigerskins Incorporated, with an odd-couple set-up and a PG-rated detective tale. Too PG-rated: when my agent took it out, it suddenly became “middle-grade” (not my intention) and then didn’t sell. I was beyond gutted: every writer knows the feeling of years of “wasted” work. It definitely set me back and shook my confidence, and only through sheer, stubborn perseverance did I cobble/force another YA into existence, Parched. My advice: read your genre and don’t kid yourself about whether your ms sits comfortably in it or not. Work with a freelance editor. Don’t get hung-up on perfecting one book—if it’s been over 5 years, think about starting something fresh.
Do you have any publishing or marketing advice for aspiring authors?!
Everything I know about marketing, which we could even just call ‘spreading the word about your great book’, is through trial and error, and observation. As authors, we’re necessarily solitary creatures but writing the book is only half the job: the other half is telling people about it! There are lots of online courses on teaching you how to write writing but none on how to effectively spread the word once you decide to self publish or get traditionally published. I created The Pro-Active Author to empower writers every step of the way, from timelines, to networking, to using social media and online platforms, to getting great blurbs.
My approach is holistic, strength- and pleasure-focused, and about the long game. So while, say, a Goodreads giveaway might be immediately effective in seeing a spike of people adding your book to their To Read, I think things like building a mailing list and sending a monthly newsletter, planning events with other authors, and making sure to include your friends and family in the lead-up to launch are just as effective. I’d suggest exploring whether hiring a freelance publicist to help you with your launch feels right (it did for me), and make sure you have a confident, unapologetic elevator pitch ready for you and your book.
Where is your favourite place to write?
I work from the New York Writers Room, which is a writer-centric no-talking space in Manhattan, and from home, which is Brooklyn. Both great options: I’m very lucky.
What are you currently reading?
Last year my two favorite books were The Girls by Emma Cline, which is so beautiful and spooky, and Sweet bitter by Stephanie Danler, which is poetic and powerful. Right now I’m reading Fear of Flying by Erica Jong, which is fantastic: really funny and ballsy and quirky and almost disturbingly modern, considering it was written in the 70s!
The Regulars is out now. Follow Georgia on Twitter and Instagram at @georgialouclark. Sign up for her mailing list at georgiaclark.com . Georgia has kindly offered readers of Hearts Talk a 10% discount to The Pro-Active Author ! Use promo code friendly10 at check-out.
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December 17, 2016
Sunni Overend & The Dangers Of Truffle Hunting
In the mean time, here’s a little interview with Sunni Overend.
1. When did you discover your love for words?
I think more than my love for words, I discovered my love for stories. I wrote a little when I was growing up, but I was mostly interested in design and acting. I was accepted in to both courses at university but decided on design – only now do I realise that my love for acting was probably more a love for storytelling and make-believe. A few years after I graduated, I was in the middle of a book when I realised how blissful I felt – it was honestly a lightbulb moment. I thought: if I create my own stories, I can be lost in other times, places and people all the time. I started writing my first novel and the addiction persists.
2. Are there any authors or books that inspired you to write women’s fiction?
I’m currently on a war path to slay the term “women’s fiction” as although it’s a good reference point (I’ve used the term frequently myself), I’m just so over women’s stuff being segregated from the what’s considered central. Plus, “women’s fiction” makes no sense – what even defines it? (See my Huffington Post rant Dec 19th 2016!)
In terms of telling women’s stories, there are so many amazing feminine storytellers who inspire me – you included, Summer! Films, television series, memoirs, art, novels – it all adds up to a bit of a creativity cocktail that I get drunk on. Books and storytellers I love include: Chocolat by Joanne Harris, Vagina by Naomi Wolf, How to Be Woman by Caitlin Moran, The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple, Jane Austen, Amy Schumer, Lena Dunham, Tina Fey, Shonda Rhimes .. so many more! Male writers and creators are an equal inspiration but I find that women’s stories are currently central to my narratives.
3. You’re so eloquent when it comes to describing food and alcohol. Do you draw your inspiration from any wineries/ restaurants in particular?
Well the physical design of the Gossard Range cellar door and winery building in The Dangers of Truffle Hunting was based on an actual Napa Valley winery designed by architects Herzog & de Meuron. Some of the buildings in the fictional Barossa estate were modelled on designs by Melbourne-based Whiting Architects. Overall I didn’t hone in on any singular place for inspiration, it’s more the overall essence of a place like the Yarra Valley – where I grew up and where the book is partially set – that inspires. I was inspired by a number of food photographer’s work for this story, particularly Katie Quinn Davies!
4. Which came first, the plot or the characters? I feel like Kit has so much depth and it’s like she existed before she went on her journey to satiate her hunger in The Dangers Of Truffle Hunting….
The central character comes first – I think it’s his/her soul that appears and then I have to write out their story for them. Kit’s character was fuelled in part by events taking place amongst my peers at the time, but she was her own person – her needs and eccentricities developing as her story evolved. I have to keep learning as a writer that I can’t impose too much of my own thought on my characters – that’s when the story starts to feel contrived. You really have to go with what these make-believe people are telling you they want to do.
5. Are you drawn to any of your characters in particular? (I loved Marc and Kit’s relationship!)
I love Marc, too. Some of his characteristics may be based on one of my own brothers, so I have a huge soft spot for him and the relationship he shares with sister Kit. The character of Rosa also spoke to me a lot. Her character came like an internal maternal voice – an accumulation of all the wise women I’ve known – so I enjoyed our time spent together. Need I also say that I was drawn to the wild man in the shearers’ quarters? [Lol]
6. Will there be a sequel?!
No sequel planned! I’m not sure I’ll ever write a sequel to anything – but never say never!
7. What are you currently reading?
I’ve just picked up The Middlesteins by Jami Attenberg. “For more than thirty years, Edie and Richard Middlestein shared a solid family life together in the suburbs of Chicago. But now things are splintering apart, for one reason, it seems: Edie’s enormous girth”. I’m hoping that this last line means it’s going to be hilarious (I’ll be pissed if it isn’t).
8. Bonus question for aspiring writers: What’s your favourite writing advice/ tip you’ve ever received?
My mother was the first to offer me the classic “show don’t tell” – which I love. Sometimes I can’t figure out if I’m showing or telling but I usually get there in the end, haha. I also remember my previous literally agent Lyn Tranter suggesting I read my work aloud to gauge authenticity – I still do that sometimes and it really works when you’re lacking perspective.
Click Here To Pre-Order The Dangers Of Truffle Hunting
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December 8, 2016
My Children Need Bedrooms.
My husband, Paul, and I have been renovating/ adding onto our house for over two years. Our life is like the TV show, The Block, but without hair and makeup or clever use of dash cams. Instead, we hammer away while raising our three-year-old daughter, Daisy, who sleeps in a cot roughly a metre from our bed and our 16-month-old son, Axel, who sleeps in our closet. (I promise it’s a big closet without a door. No need to call social services, people.)
Since Paul works on our house in his time off from work, we currently have a kitchen/ living room and one master bedroom with an ensuite. We would have more house by now, except it won’t stop raining. What makes our living situation difficult is the fact that you have to walk through the bedroom and closet aka Daisy and Axel’s rooms to get to the bathroom. Since our surname is Land, it’s literally like walking through baby Land mines. Almost every night, I have to tip toe ever so quietly while trying to squeeze my bladder shut to avoid waking one of our little ankle biters. If I’m lucky to reach my porcelain solace, I try to relax my muscles slowly so my pee stream isn’t too loud.
Since Axel’s closet shares a wall with the bathroom, we live by the age-old rule, If it’s yellow let it mellow. If it’s brown flush it down.
Raising kids in one room is pretty tough, but I always remind myself that it’s probably about the same space as an apartment in Manhattan. Plus, there is a light at the end of our renovation tunnel: three more bedrooms, a laundry and living room! Even though we like to spend every weekend building our dream home, we also love to entertain, which is why we were so excited when our friends came to visit for October Long Weekend. When you visit Mudgee, it’s inevitable that you will indulge in craft beer, soft cheese and an abundance of Mudgee wine. Taking people to my favourite wineries like The Cellar by Gilbert, Lowe Wines, Botobolar and Vinifera make me fall in love with the Central West all over again. It also makes me one very bloated, lactose intolerant cheese lover with some serious red wine heartburn.
On the Monday night after everyone had left, the kids and Paul were asleep and I stayed up to read. I turned off my little flashlight around midnight and tried to get comfortable. I noticed that I could hear and feel little bubbles travelling through my intestines. The kind that almost feel like early baby kicks. Since the hubby had had the snip in April, I silently prayed that this wasn’t a vasectomy baby. I decided to flip over onto my stomach to see if the pressure would help settle my gurgles.
My movement must have pushed along my gas bubbles because I let out a fart. Not just a little, pffff, but a BAHHHHHHHHHHH. You know the kind. They sound like a tornado barrelling through a small town like a freight train.
I immediately started vibrating with laughter (because I’m a 12-year-old boy at heart) when Daisy jumped up in her cot and started crying, “I need help!!!!!!! I need help!”
My flatulence had woken Daisy from her slumber.
Flabbergasted that my guts even had that kind of wind power, I whispered, “It’s okay, darling, It’s okay!” and shhhhs’d her back to sleep. While I patted her back, I imagined Daisy blissfully dreaming about Teletubbies and Dora the Explorer and then a SUPER SCARY THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE TAKING OVER.
After I was confident Daisy was asleep again, I rolled over to cuddle into Paul, who I thought had magically slept through the October Long Weekend Fart of 2016. After all he did have ear plugs in.
He whispered, “I can’t believe your fart woke Daisy.”
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December 1, 2016
We Bought A Fixer Upper.
When my husband, Paul, and I bought an investment property that needed “work” I was ecstatic because this was our chance to become the Ausmerican version of Chip and Joanna Gaines. We would have a demo day, solve a foundation issue, create a bonus room with genius crayon storage and then proudly present our fixer upper on Facebook for our friends to oooh and ahhh over.
Turns out renovating is not as glamorous as Joanna makes it out to be. First of all, I had imagined my tasks to be designing things on my MacBook Air and picking out tiles. Nope – I was painting. And not roller painting. I was doing the horrible trim part first. Midway through my first day of work Paul informed me that he needed to run to the tip to dump off some rubbish and would be back in an hour.
I waved him off while singing along to Zedd and thinking about how toned my right arm must be getting from cutting in on so many windowsills. About 15 minutes after he left I noticed that I had to pee. Badly. (Like given birth twice badly.) This was quite the issue because the toilet had been taken out and the water was turned off, which meant I couldn’t pull a sink pee either. There was a hole in the floor where we were replacing some floorboards that I considered, but worried it might smell. I wrapped up my paintbrush in Glad Wrap and walked outside to the backyard, but three neighbouring houses looked directly at it. There was nowhere or way to conceal myself.
Just as I was getting the dull bladder ache of death, I remembered that my friend Katie, lived down the block. I started walking over and called her on the way. Unfortunately, she wasn’t home but said a door might be open. I told her I’d just pee in her yard if not.
I don’t know if it was my walk in the harsh Australian sun or the fact that I had accidentally taken two probiotics that morning, but by the time I got to Katie’s I now had to poop.
I frantically tried every door and window. The bathroom window was actually open and revealing a ready to be defecated in toilet, but had a screen. I briefly fiddled with it to get it off, but genuinely didn’t have time because my poop was primed and ready. Katie’s 10-year-old black lab, Lucky, followed me around as I searched for somewhere to relieve myself. I walked around Katie’s gorgeous and brand new wrap around porch and found some plastic left over from the construction. I had no time to take it any amount of distance away from the house so I laid out my make shift drop cloth, pulled down my pants and let myself go. (Literally and figuratively.) Lucky sat and stared at me in a non-judgemental way. It was kind of a, “Yeah, I’ve been there too.” look. I started to pee a little and then realized that I shouldn’t pee on the plastic or on Katie’s porch. I grabbed my droppings and waddled pantless off the porch and continued peeing on the grass. Feeling defeated, I used my undies as toilet paper and cleaned myself up. I found a hose and washed my hands and gave the porch a spray. Next I found some more black plastic and wrapped up my faeces again. This load definitely warranted a double bag situation. I opened Katie’s bin, but it was empty. There was no way I could put my poop in it for her or her family to find.
Soooo I did what any 29-year-old woman would do. I walked back to my house with it. Just as I was crossing the street to my yard, a beautiful woman I know from playgroup pulled over.
It was Allison.
“Hey Summer! Do you need a ride?”
No, Allison. I do not want to get in your clean car with your perfect self and perfect children while clutching my poop parcel.
“Aw, thanks for the offer! Just heading to our rental! Thanks though! See Ya!” (Nervous Sweats times 1,000)
Allison drove off and I reached our garbage can that was (thank God) getting picked up that day. I dumped my dump and then called Paul. I needed a shower. I also needed to never be without my car ever again. I also skipped painting the next day because writing in a café is so much less dangerous than a job site without a toilet.
Click Here To Get A Copy of My Memoir, Summerlandish!
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November 30, 2016
Two Books You Should Be Excited About
Hi!!! How are you? I’m doing well. Actually, I had something horrible happen yesterday involving my friend’s backyard and a bowel movement, but we’ll save that story for another blog post.
I’m writing because I have much happier (and less gross) news! Two of my favourite authors have new books coming out and they’re available for pre-order! Both Sunni Overend and Lauren Sams are amazing writers and you must get their new releases.
Crazy Busy Guilty is the book for every mum who has ever wondered exactly what she’s gone and got herself into. Georgie Henderson is a new – working – mum who strives to be Sheryl Sandberg at work and Martha Stewart at home. But she’s discovering that in the twenty-first century being a Good Working Mum means answering emails at midnight while you purée vegetables and line up play dates and French lessons for your four-month-old daughter. As she battles between being a “good mum” and leaning in, she finds herself fighting for what’s really important to her – as soon as she figures out what that actually is.
Pre-Order It Here!
Lauren Sams is the author of She’s Having Her Baby and the highly anticipated novel, Crazy Busy Guilty. She’s also a freelance writer whose work has appeared in ELLE, marie claire, Cosmopolitan, Good Food, delicious., Sunday Style and dailylife.com.au. She used to be Lauren Smelcher, then (confusingly) she was Lauren Smelcher Sams. She’s pretty set on Lauren Sams now, pending a call from Rob Lowe. She lives with her husband, daughter and two dogs in Sydney. Elaine Benes is her spirit animal. If you’d like Lauren’s thoughts delivered to your inbox weekly, you can sign up to her newsletter here.
Artful, sexy and sophisticated, The Dangers of Truffle Hunting explores how a man can be more to a woman than a destination. Filled with gorgeously sumptuous food and set against the back-drop of the beautiful Yarra Valley, hip inner Melbourne and a first-class cooking school in France, The Dangers of Truffle Hunting is ideal for those who enjoy the finer things in life.
Pre-Order It Here!
Sunni Overend is a graphic design grad, and the daughter of the late, award-winning children’s author Jenni Overend. She worked briefly in creative advertising before building an online fashion store and concurrently wrote two women’s fiction manuscripts. In 2013 she sold her online store and merged her areas of expertise to self-publish her first novel, March. Sunni lives in Melbourne with her husband. You can find her on Instagram HERE.
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November 15, 2016
There Will Be Tears (And Blood.)
I don’t know if it was Tuesday’s election results, the arrival of my period or the fact that I’m a mother of two kids under three, but I’ve been crying a lot lately.
When Trump was made the president elect I cried like this:
When Kate McKinnon performed, “Halleluja” as Hillary Clinton I cried like this:
When my daughter rammed my heels with a grocery cart I cried like this:
When I accidentally spilled my wine while watching Stranger Things I cried like this:
When my son shoved his finger up my nose I bled like this:
And then cried like this:
Needless to say it’s been a rough week for a lot of people. At least there is something we can do to make ourselves feel better.
You can donate to Planned Parenthood HERE.
Get My Book
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November 6, 2016
I’m Making Stuff Up Now
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October 16, 2016
Let’s Catch Up With Lauren Sams And Her New Book, ‘Crazy Busy Guilty’
AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER NOW!
Summer: Your new book, Crazy Busy Guilty, is out in January! It’s a sequel to She’s Having Her Baby. Can you tell us where it picks up?
Lauren: The story picks up when Georgie’s baby, Pip, is four months old. Her life has completely changed, she’s exhausted, she has no idea what she’s doing. Her whole life, she’s been so adamant that she didn’t want children – and now that she has one, she feels completely out of her depth. She sees all these other new mums around her who seem to know which products to buy and which parenting method to use and how they’ll get their kids to sleep through the night. Georgie doesn’t know any of that and so she’s FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.
Summer: When you set out to write She’s Having Her Baby, did you always know that there would be a sequel?
Lauren: No! The day of my book launch, my beautiful publisher, Jeanne Ryckmans, rang me and asked if I wanted to write a sequel. Without thinking, I said yes… and then spent the next year trying to figure out what I would write about.
Summer: Are there any characters you unexpectedly felt drawn to and wanted to continue with?
Lauren: I knew I wanted to explore what Nina’s life looked like now – her path has changed almost completely at the end of the first book, and so I wanted to look at how that would change her as a person. I feel such deep affection for Nina – perhaps more so than I do for Georgie! (ssh! Don’t tell Georgie!) – that I wanted to do her story justice.
Summer: I know we need to avoid spoilers, but did you feel pressured to resolve things between Georgie and Nina?
Lauren: Yes, definitely. I always think of She’s Having Her Baby as a platonic romantic comedy, with Georgie and Nina at the centre. The heart of the story will always be about their friendship. In many ways, their friendship is like a relationship: they’re completely aware of each others’ flaws, they’re sometimes brutally honest with each other, but there’s a deep, deep love and respect for each other there, too.
Summer: We briefly talked about this on our panel in Sydney, but why do you think so many people say they don’t like Georgie? (I personally loved her!)
Lauren: Mmm! I struggle with this, too. Most of the feedback I’ve received about Georgie is that she’s relatable and funny. But there was some feedback that she wasn’t very likable. And in some ways, I understand that. She’s not very self-aware when it comes to her job, for instance, and she lies to Jase about being pregnant. I think the “unlikable” comments stem from the idea that She’s Having Her Baby is often referred to as a “chick lit” novel, and readers often expect chick lit characters to be extremely relatable and likable. But (sadly) I am not Maeve Binchy or Marian Keyes, and my characters will always be flawed!
Summer: I found the characters in She’s Having Her Baby to be extremely relatable. In Crazy Busy Guilty, will we the same strong women archetypes?
Lauren: First: thank you. Second: I hope so! In Crazy Busy Guilty, Georgie has an antagonist at work, but there is method to her madness. There’s more to her than meets the eye. That’s all I can say!
Summer: Did you always have the ending in mind for your books or did it come together when you were writing?
Lauren: In a word: no! I wish I was a “plotter” but I’m totally a “pantser.” I’m writing a book at the moment and though I’ve tried desperately to stick to a plot, I find myself detouring from it roughly every 10 seconds.
Summer: Have you always been interested in writing about pregnancy and motherhood or did the desire come after becoming a mum yourself?
Lauren: I became interested in writing about pregnancy and motherhood after I had a baby myself. I found it so fascinating how rapidly your life changes, and how different your priorities become. Sometimes this means that friendships fall away or become strained, or even that family relationships take on new meanings. Like Georgie, I felt utterly unprepared for motherhood. Other mums would talk about things like “the football hold” or “Sophie the Giraffe” and I’d be blinking at them, trying to figure out what they were talking about. It was a different language. I wanted to write about the seismic shift that is parenthood, but I wanted to show the ridiculousness and humour of it, as well as the emotion and drama.
Summer: How soon after you finished your first book did you start writing Crazy Busy Guilty?
Lauren: It took me a long time to feel ready to write again. 2015 was kind of a crazy year for me – I had this job that I hated, my husband was in a bad motorcycle accident… it was all a bit much! So I wrote in fits and starts, never quite getting a rhythm going. I got the deal in February 2015, and honestly, I only really started writing in November. Nobody tell my publisher! Once I got started in the November, though, I was off, and the whole thing was done by February the next year. I don’t like to sit on projects too long – I could never be that author working on a book for ten years! Ten months is too long!
Summer: As a fellow mum/ author, I really struggle with time management because kids (moods, health, schedules) can be so unpredictable. Any tips!?
Lauren: Argh, #thestruggleisreal. One of the hardest things about being a new parent is having your time ripped away from you constantly. I certainly struggled with this. My advice is:
JFDI, or “just fucking do it.” Take any moment you have. Anything. I write while my daughter naps in the car (she’s almost 4 now, this is the only time she really naps anymore, when we’re driving). As soon as I notice she’s asleep, I pull out my laptop or notebook, and get started. I write during her martial arts lessons, too! It’s a whole hour – so luxurious!
Wake up early. This is tough but it works. When I’m working on a book deadline, I wake up at5am and try to get 2 hours of writing in before the rest of the house wakes up. Obviously, you need coffee to do this.
Ask for help. I am so lucky to have an amazing mum, mother-in-law and father-in-law who are willing and able to help out. When I need it, I ask them. And then I pay them back with baked goods.
Make yourself accountable. Tell people that you’re writing a novel, so that they keep asking you about it. Eventually it’ll really bug you that you haven’t started yet and you’ll be like, “Fuck it, I’m starting tonight!”
Summer: Do you have a favourite reader’s shelfie?
Lauren: This is my favourite She’s Having Her Baby picture on Instagram, because it was sent to me by a reader who was struggling with infertility. She wrote to me later about how true-to-life the book felt, and how much she related to Nina. That meant so much to me.
Summer: What are you currently reading?
Lauren: I’ve got a few books on the boil right now. I’m reading Brooklyn, by Colm Toibin, which I’m enjoying… though not as much as I thought I would. I’m also reading Diane von Furstenberg’s memoir, The Woman I Wanted to Be, and a biography of Helen Gurley Brown called Enter Helen. I worked at Cosmopolitan and am quite fascinated by HGB – her impact on magazines cannot be overstated! And I can’t wait to read Jennifer Weiner’s book of essays, Hungry Heart, and Maria Semple’s new book Today Will be Different. Her books have a really cinematic feel – probably because she wrote for TV for so long – and I just adore her characters. And obviously, I cannot wait to read the second Summer Land book!
Lauren also writes a must-read weekly letter.
Sign up here!
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