Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 72

The Difference Between Existing and Living

Do you go through each day feeling like you live in the matrix?

You know what I'm talking about, don't you? You get up everyday and pretty much do the same things. You go to a job you hate, you talk to coworkers you might not exactly care for. You look at the clock at work and can't wait for it to be over, only to come home and veg out in front of the TV. Now this is existing.

Aren't you tired of this kind of life?

I can tell you I am! I had a realization a few days ago of how short life is and that existing is a waste of that time. I'm tired of going through each day hoping for something different to happen so it can break the monotony of my day. The good thing is that my wife agrees with me, so God-willing, we will work with everything in us this year to make way for our dreams to come true in 2013. WE have loved being with family and friends here in Wisconsin but after vacationing in Hawaii its been our dream to retire there. We talked and wondered, why retire? Why not live there? So that's what we're doing, saving and tieing up loose ends in 2012 and in 2013, move to Hawaii!

I'm going to ask you again, are you existing or are you living each moment as if it's your last?

Look you might be living out your dreams right now and if you are, kudos. I know it's a privilege just to be alive, so don't sit here and think I'm complaining, I'm not. What I'm talking about is the fact that God means for us to be happy and live happy lives. He means for us to follow our dreams and encourage others to as well. What things have you dreamed of in your life? Are you at your dream job? Are you active with your kids everyday? Do you read or write or do anything intellectual? Do you get up, go to work, get home and watch the latest prime time shows all night? I think you see what I'm saying and if you just don't have the energy because life feels overwhelming, then it's time for a change!

So bottom line it, what's the difference?

The main difference is your attitude towards what you do which affects how you do it and how you feel about your life:

Existing:

"I'm really not looking forward to work on Monday"
"I just don't have the energy to work out today"
"The kids have another play, didn't we just go to one?"
"I'm not going anywhere on my vacation, I'm going to stay home and catch up on sleep"
"I only have three years until retirement, so I'll do more things then"

Living:

"I can't wait for Monday because I'm going to help people"
"I had the best workout today, I felt like I could go another thirty minutes"
"The kids only have seven events at school this year? Bummer, we'll have to come up with our own extra events"
"I just got back from a week in Mexico, that's four different countries we've gone to this year"
" I don't think I could ever retire from doing this business that I absolutely love"

Now to be fair you might not be able to go to four different countries because of finances, I get that, but could you afford to go to two if you cut out eating out all the time? I get that it can be busy at work which makes you too tired to go to the play, but are you tired from doing a job that is meaningful and helps people? If not, why are you wasting your time?

"I got bills to pay", I get that, so do I, but is that all life is about, paying bills? Look, don't go out and quit your job and move to Hawaii with no plan, that's stupid! The way my wife and I are doing it is to sit down, figure out the expenses and save each week, we have a game plan, and you need one too.  If you develop a step by step plan, make it realistic and stick to it, then in a year or however long it takes, then you'll be living out your dreams in no time!

I hope you don't read this and think that this is "pie in the sky", people live out or start out on their dreams everyday, you can too! Life is too short, we can't just exist anymore, WE HAVE TO LIVE!

Are you living or existing? Let us know in the comments:

Living Paycheck to Paycheck

I'm going to let you in on a little secret about my past, back in the day I was able to do a little magic! Alright let me be honest, it wasn't exactly magic but I'm talking about writing magical checks that "floated".   What?

[image error]Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, "floating" a check was when you didn't have the money in your account to cover that check but a bill was over due, so you sent the check out anyways hoping you would be able to deposit your paycheck before that check cleared. Like I said, magic (Ha!). For me those days are over and I hope you either have never done this or are in a financial position where you don't have to do this anymore!

The reason I had to do this was because I was living paycheck to paycheck.

I had no kind of savings and even the smallest unexpected circumstance would have ruined my life! I don't think I need to tell you that this is no way to live, you must have a little cushion for all those unexpected things life will throw at you. So be honest with me (and yourself), how much money do you have saved in case of an emergency? If something happened now,  car repairs, broken water heater, or any kind of mini disaster, how would you make it?

Many people and families have fallen apart over shoty finances, so we have to have a back up plan to fall back on, here are a few thoughts that hopefully will be a help in this regard:

You need an emergency fund! I've hit on this already a little but let's get specific. The experts will tell you to have at least three to six months worth of your expenses, if you can do this, great! For myself (and maybe you) this wasn't a reality right away. So I took Dave Ramsey's suggestion and set aside $1,000 as a small, starter emergency fund. Three to six months would be great but my financial situation was not healthy enough to hit that right away. I liked the idea of $1,000 because it was attainable and it would cover 90% of emergencies that would come up. Maybe you can't get $1,000 right away but start with $100 and work your way up to $1,000, a week at a time, you'll get there eventually.
Cut out excess spending and pick up extra work: Do you have to have those three soda's everyday at work? Do you have to go get fast food for lunch? Do you really need a bigger TV just because it's on sale? You know there's junk you can cut out of your life right now that could enable you to get that emergency fund saved, right? CUT OUT ALL THE UNNECESSARY STUFF FROM YOUR LIFE! Also, if you're having trouble saving up a little extra, why not pick up some overtime or some odd jobs? There's a wealth of untouched opportunity because people think certain things are below them. How about cutting grass, shoveling snow, cleaning houses or any kind of odd job to make some cash? Most people think they'll be fine and won't do these minimum jobs but you can and use this money to build up your emergency fund!
Make this a way of life: I'm sure even before you read this blog post you knew that living paycheck to paycheck was stupid, this isn't new information. So the question is why then don't we have an emergency fund already? Whenever we want to accomplish lasting change with anything in life the best way to do it is to make it a habit, quick fixes don't work. So with finances it can't be about saving a couple hundred bucks and going back to the same old life style, it won't last. We have to form a habit of saving money, watching how we spend our hard-earned money and thinking about our financial future. The best way to do any of this is to take it step by step. Cut out that soda, put that money you would use on it in a jar somewhere. The end result will be habits that also affect other area's of your life. If you cut that soda out you'll lose a little weight, once you lose the weight you be more active with family and friends, you see how that works. Come on, you know I'm right, give it a try!

The key to getting an emergency fund and creating habits that will change your life is to take the first step. So when you get your paycheck this week, set aside a little money for your emergency fund, it could change your life forever. Once you make a little progress don't be happy with making progress, don't get complacent. Move forward towards your goal and don't stop until you've changed your life and no longer fear the unexpected. The best way to combat the unexpected is having and sticking to a well thought out plan.

How's your emergency fund looking? What are you going to do about it? Let us know in the comments:

The Secret To Combating Doubt: Action

Even when you doing something that you know is right and that you should be doing, you're still going to have doubt!

Tell me if this sounds familiar: you've made certain discussions in your life, like moving somewhere else, getting a new job, or staring a business, you're all pumped and ready to take the world by storm. Then one day you're doing something and BOOM: you hear that little voice in your head saying things like: "you can't afford to move", "they're never going to hire you", "that business won't work in this economy", has this happened to you? I bet it has, that's doubt!

How about as you're planning that new venture and a friend finds out and says they think it's a bad idea, or even a family member? No matter what we do or how well we plan for things, we'll always have doubts! It's natural and a part of human nature.

So you pretty much have two choices, give into the doubt and give up or to press ahead with what you know you should be doing, what will you choose?

Here are three tools to help you fight doubt:

Proper planning: You're smart enough to know that without a proper plan you won't accomplish anything and doubt will for sure win. When you plan, be specific as to what you want to accomplish and what time frame you want to accomplish it in. You might still have doubts but executing a proper plan will make those doubts look silly.
Don't listen to people who are negative: You know you have those friends in your life that are always fast to shoot down your idea's, when you have doubt in the back of your mind about something, avoid those people! People will always be negative, especially if things aren't going right in their life, so don't listen to them! You're an adult and can make your own decisions without the influence of others, so do it!
Take action: The best way to combat doubt is to ignore it and take action! You know what you should do, so why hesitate? Go for it, you read my post about the difference between living and existing, ignore doubt and live. Life is too short to be sidelined by doubt, if you listen to those voices you'll never accomplish anything and die a miserable life, is that what you're looking for?

I hope you have big goals and plans for this year, you need to. If you do, be sure doubt will creep in. I've given you a few tools to fight it but the choice is yours, will you give up or push ahead? I hope you choose to push ahead!

What doubts do you have? Let us know in the comments:

What have You Accomplished So Far?

I just celebrated my thirty-first birthday this month, followed by my wife and I's thirteen year anniversary (yeah). These event's came and went with nothing out of the ordinary except for my thoughts. I've been thinking a lot lately about how I spend my time and being more intentionally with it. The thought accrued to me that at thirty-one unless the Lord will's it differently it's very possible that I may have already lived half of my life!

 As a Christian I know the Bible tells us that "life is like a vapor", so I know it's quick and then we are with our Lord. Though the thought of having lived half of my life (whether it's true or not) scares me. As all these thoughts have run through my mind the main question I have is this: what have I (or you) accomplished so far in life? And an even better question is: have I (or you) accomplished everything that you have wanted to?

 Time is the one thing that we can't get back and you and I have read many blog posts from Michael Hyatt that encourages us and challenging us with how we spend our time. If you're like me and are not satisfied with what you've accomplished in your life so far, here are five things that will give you a kick-start to accomplishing your goals and dreams:

 

Stop making excuses: How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something before you even started? You and I have done this many times, listed all the reason's, maybe even arguing with people as to why it won't work. STOP! If we keep using this logic we'll never accomplish anything and at the end of our life we'll be dreaming of what we should have done! Take a chance, make a move, it has to start somewhere.
Take one step forward: If you are going to accomplish anything it has to start with one step forward. You want to write a book, write the first chapter. You want to be more involved at your church, join the choir. In our minds we think in order to accomplish something we have to have it done in one day, that's not true. It starts with not making excuses, then taking that first initial step. You start small and then build momentum.
Starting is not enough: So at this point you've taken that first step, that's great but beware. There's a danger in taking a first step and that is you become comfortable with that initial step. We think I've finally done something so I'm good for a while, and that little bit of time turns into weeks, months, and years. Don't get comfortable, make that first step and then move forward!
Do something every day: A friend of mine taught me this one; whether it's something small, just do something! You don't want to take fifty years to accomplish one of your goals but if you work on it every day, you'll be that much closer to getting it done. The beauty of this is that it will be fresh in your mind, helping you to keep those creative juices following.
Don't settle! I think it's human nature to do something and have it just be good enough. Or if we've tried something and failed we don't want to get back up, we're just happy that we tried. NO, NO, NO! When we fall we look at where we went wrong, get back up and try again. When we've done a project we look it over and if it's not absolutely perfect (in our minds), then we go back and fix things. When someone (even a friend) tells you something is not possible, you politely say "ok" but you're laughing in your mind because you know all things are possible!

 

It's been eye-opening to think about the time that has passed compared to what I've accomplished, how about for you? We read this blog and others like it to get inspired, get ideas and get help with things in our lives. At some point being a spectator is not enough, we have to take what we learn every day and use this information to pursue our dreams!

So here's the question: will you join me in moving forward? Have you accomplished everything you've wanted to in your life? What are you going to do about it? Let us know in the comments:

Better today, Then Tomorrow

We all know enough about procrastination to write a whole book, am I right? We know that we put things off and we know what the end result of that is. If we know so much about it, why do we keep doing it?

Maybe we don't know as much as we think and there might be a few lessons we all could learn together. So what makes me qualified to write this post? If I don't say so myself I'm an expert in procrastination, I think I have the equivalent of a PhD. I'm learning and want to share a few thoughts that have helped me battle this syndrome every day.

 

1. Make a list and stick to it I hate to write down a to do list; writing is too much work, right? However, by putting it down somewhere (paper or electronically) helps you see things a little more clearly and helps you get an organized place to start.
2. Don't erase things off the list until there down I started step one and got everything written down (YEAH!) after this I noticed something. It seemed that when I was sleeping my to do list was in my dreams, when I was awake it would call to me. It would say "there are ten things on this list and you'll never get them done". So I would do a few things on the list and if something was on the list for more than a week, I would find some reason to delete it off of the list instead of completing the task (what a shame, right?). If you have thought out your list and know its stuff that needs to get done, don't delete it, complete it!
3. Take each task one at a time We have been told that "great"people multi task, we are learning now that they lied to us. If you try to take on more than one task at a time, you'll quickly get overwhelmed and start deleting stuff just to get it off your list. Do each task individually, this will also insure you'll do your best work on your task.
4. Get things done Why have a list that just sits there for months on end. We all have busy lives now, so much to do. Don't let that be an excuse, if you have a to do list, more than likely these are important things. I've learned in life that you always have to make time for the things that are important, so get your list knocked out!
5. Don't be afraid to add to the list Human nature tells us that if we have a list of things to do that we have to clear off that list and keep it clean. This is not going to shock you, but more things that you have to get done will come up, so add them to your list. The goal is to have a real idea of what you need to do and things will always pop up from time to time!
6. Enjoy all your victories Eventually all of us will get good at this. We all will become organized people who write down and know the things we have to get done and we'll do them. As we learn and grow and accomplish, I think its ok to look at what we've done and smile. Enjoy not procrastinating, just don't get too cocky and become complacent!

 So think right now, what things in your life have you been putting off? Could you benefit from having it written down and tackling it one at a time? Here's some brand new information (not really) if you don't do those things they're never going to go away! What? That's right!

So what in your life have you been putting off? What are you going to do about it? Let us know in the comments:

New Year, A Fresh Start

Are you excited for the new year? I hope you are, it's a fresh start and possible the beginning of the end of a job we hate. A new year means you have 365 days to accomplish all (or most) of your goals. If you're going to have the best year of your life you have to come into the new year prepared. Do you have a game plan for this year? I've spent the last two weeks thinking, praying and writing down all my goals for 2012. As I've been planning I've gotten excited about all the opportunity if I can even accomplish half of these goals.

So that brings me to you, what are your plans for this year? If you need to a little help with planning for the year, here are a five things for you to consider and hopefully they help you out:

Write down your goals: I've mentioned this already but it has to start somewhere. You don't have to have a physical paper but even if it's on your phone, you must have your goals laid out somewhere. Putting them down helps you see them clearly, see how they'll fit into the overall plan, and give you some accountability. This is a must!
Tell your close friends about your goals: Obviously this will help you to stay accountable. I've told things to my close group of friends in the past and they have asked me about them to the point where I was annoyed, the thing was that I really needed that! You may have some goals that you set just to feel good that you set them, telling your friend's will be good motivation to make these more real!
Be realistic with your goals: If one of your goals is to fly to the moon then you might be a little off. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to learn a new language? Do you want a new job? You know better than anyone what you can and can't do, so think about those things and plan then out!
BE SPECIFIC! This is probably one of the most important aspects. You want to lose weight? How much? If you want to lose fifty pounds, how will you do it? How about set a goal of ten pounds per month, in five months you've accomplished that goal. Doing it this way makes it very attainable and gives you a solid plan of attack.
Don't quit, no matter what: We know how new years resolutions work, right? By the second or third month we usually forget or have lost interest. DON'T DO THIS WITH YOUR GOALS FOR THIS YEAR! Have this year be different from every other year, don't stop until your goals are all completed!

Beginnings are great so make sure you take full advantage of the start of this year. If you get on a roll and start knocking out your goals, don't be afraid to add things to your list. The more you get done, then add, then get done, the closer you'll be to accomplishing your dreams.

What are some goals you have for this year? Let us know in the comments:

Enjoy It!

Hope you're having an amazing holiday and taking advantage of the down time. I will be taking a break until after the New year with posting. So if you're like me and working on your dreams, then take these last few weeks to figure out your game plan for 2012! Let's all make this the best year ever by making progress with our goals and dreams! See you in 2012…

I'm Too Tired To Work On My Dreams

Do you remember the excitement that you had the first time you discovered what your dream's are and the first time you started working on them?

If seemed like no matter what happened, nothing was going to stop you. You might have had a few hiccups, there might have been some naysayers, it didn't matter because you were on the path to fulfilling your dreams! If you had a busy schedule during the day, you would stay up into the wee hours of the morning because you were fulfilling your dreams. If you had to buy some equipment, you didn't mind working that over-time, whatever it took. I know exactly how you felt because this is also how I feel.

Having said that, here's the question: Do you still have that drive and ambition or when you think about doing extra to accomplish your dreams it makes you want to just roll over and take a nap?

If this describes you (and me) then I just want to give you a little encouragement to help you get over the "hump". Here are a three things that will help you push through this bump in the road to fulfilling your dream work:

Take a nap! Maybe the reason thinking about doing that extra works makes you tried is because you are literally tired, makes sense right? You might already work a full-time job and you come home worn out, you might have been able to ignore this in the excitement of first stages on your path, but in the end you are human. Being human we all need an adequate amount of rest. Now only you know how much rest you need everyday but make sure you distinguish between exhaustion and just being lazy (if you slept ten hours and are too tired to get something done, then maybe your just being lazy). If you're tired, sleep! You may think you're going to get more accomplished by pushing through the sleepiness, but in the end I think you'll find that you were actually less productive and your work might be a little more sloppy because of being tired, get some rest.
Do something everyday: You might be getting tired just reading this sentence but this is important. Have you ever heard of ether or momentum? Even if you have just ten minutes a day, it's still better than nothing (I know you can make more than ten minutes a day for your dream). When you take a day away it will eventually turn into two, then two turns into four and before you know its three weeks later and you don't even remember what your dream was. Keep it fresh in your mind by constantly working on it, give your self some momentum by making progress everyday. It will be awesome and inspiring to see how much progress you can make by chipping away at it a little at a time!
Focus on the "why" of what you're doing: A lot of times it's our nature to look at the details of something and get overwhelmed, frustrated, angry and eventually just give up (this is the easy way out). I had a post where I addresses this in a little more detail (http://talesofwork.com/blog/2011/08/how-do-you-find-a-job-you-love-2/) The point is when you focus on the reason why you're doing something, it makes all the frustrating parts more bearable. For example, when I think about writing my second book and I go to the computer after having a long day at my day job, I feel too tired, mad that I haven't been able to transition faster. I look at my book sales and am happy but not excited that there wasn't 10,000 copies sold the night before. I very easily talk myself out of writing on the second book that day. Lately I have looked at why I need to write this second book (more time home with my family, doing something that I love everyday, being able to help other's that are struggling) and it gives me a shot of energy to press on and keep going hard! If you are getting overwhelmed and tired looking at the "how" and "what" then stop and focus on why you're doing what you're doing!

It's very easy to justify not working on our dreams, after all we have day jobs that take up a tremendous amount of time out of our week. Ask your self this though, what's the alternative? If you can't find that energy, can't make time to work on your dreams, then you better make plans to do something you either hate or can't stand until you snap or they fire you! Scary, isn't it? Don't give up, don't be discouraged. Take a nap right now and wake up and determine you're going to do what it takes to get to your dream job (or business). I know you have it in you!

Have you been tired or discouraged? Let us know in the comments:

Why Your Diploma Won't Get You A Job

These days it seems like you have to pay companies to get a job, but believe it or not, people are getting hired everyday.

If you're in school or have just graduated from school, I hope you realize that your diploma is not enough to get you a job.

Now to be fair let me tell you up front that I don't have a diploma. However, in writing this blog and in writing my book I have done a lot of research about work, talked to a lot of people at many different companies. So I know a little about today's workforce and what it takes to find work in this crazy market.

The Problem:

The problem is that for every job opening there are thousands of people out of work who will apply for those positions. Companies can be picky nowadays because of how many available workers there are these days. Have you gone to an interview at a big company lately? People on top of people trying to get the one job opening the mail room, right? Here's an even bigger problem: when sending in your resume, how will it get noticed? Think about it, how many applications and resumes do you think companies get everyday? Hundreds? Thousands? I'm sorry to tell you the days of sending out 10 resumes and hoping one sticks are over! So even though you may have a diploma, it still isn't enough to separate you from all the other applications.

Hope For The Problem:

Even though companies are being pounded with thousands of applicants and thousands of resumes, there is still hope for you. This is probably the biggest thing you got going for you: all of these people aren't qualified for the jobs they're applying for! The way to make this work for you is to apply at jobs that you are suited for, jobs that you have the skills to offer a company. This will help you stand out above the rest. While a specific diploma may help you, companies these days, are more interested in experience.

Solution To The Problem:

I hope that you've seen (or have seen from personal experience) that a diploma or anything else for that matter, won't get you a job in this economy. So what will:

You have to distinguish your self from everyone else: When an HR person has a stack of resumes or applications on their desk, how will they notice your's? Do you think they'll be leafing through and magically see your's and say: "wow, this person has a diploma, let's hire them!" I think you realize the odds are pretty small. I read an article about a guy who put his resumes on coffee bags and then sent them out to HR people at the companies he wanted to work at, he got a job in a week, that's how you distinguish your self. You have to be creative, you have to go the extra mile to even get noticed.
Let companies know what you can do for them: It's good that you went to school and learned skills and knowledge but companies want to know how that will make them money. What unique skills or knowledge can you bring that a company has to have? These are the things that you should emphasis on your resumes or in an interview, this is what matter's these days. This is also why you should focus on companies where your skills will be a money-maker.
Network, Network, Network: Do you take recommendations on things from random people on the street? The answer is NO, and these days, neither do companies. The best way to get a job these days is a recommendation from someone who already works at that company. It makes sense, doesn't it? My brother just got a job in two weeks because a friend of his working there recommended him. They had applications lined up, but a good word from someone the company already knows spoke volumes above any diploma's or resumes! Who do you know at that company? Who do you know that knows someone at that company? Those are the people you need to talk to, they will help you better than anything get hired there.

The bottom line is you can't depend upon your diploma or anything else, you have to stand out and show companies what you can do for them. So if you're just getting out of school and about to look for work or are looking for work, what kind of unique things can you do to separate your self from other people? Don't give up, there are jobs out there if you know how to find them and they want someone like YOU!

How are you standing out looking for work? Are you just depending upon some crutch? Let us know in the comments:

 

 

 

If You Can't Make It To The Moon, How About Florida?

Did you ever dream of being an astronaut when you were young? I think at one point or another we all did, some of us still do (keep the dream alive!). The older we got we convinced ourself that it would never happen, why? We could have been astronauts we just didn't know exactly how to accomplish that goal, it works the same way with your dream job.

You may know exactly what that dream job is but in your mind you might as well try to become an astronaut, it seems that out far of reach. You're not alone and it's not unusual to think this way, most people do, but if you've read this blog for a while then I hope you're convinced that anything is possible!

So you can reach that seemingly unreachable job, you just have to know how to get there, and the way there might be easier than you think. Here's the magical secret that you can't tell anyone else about (just kidding), break your path to your dream job into manageable steps., WOW! (I know I'm a genius, NOT) Instead of thinking that you're going to start the next Apple right on day 1, start by coming up with a cool company name. Then create an office for your new company, next get the equipment that you need, get the picture? Sit down and map out a plan, then take one step at a time and don't stop until you have a company better than Apple (believe in your self). It's just better to take a slower more thought out approach, you'll be a lot more successful!

Like it says in the title, you may not make it to the moon right now, but what if you made it to Florida where they launch the shuttles, is that a step? If you've been a little discouraged then don't, you need to follow your path to your true passion, that's the only way you'll discover happiness in your work life!

What steps do you need to take to reach your dreams? Let us know in the comments:

photo credit: Luc Vitar