Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 71

One Month Down, Eleven To Go!

Here we are at the beginning of February, how have you been doing with all your goals and plans for 2012? Usually at this point people are starting to back down on their new year's resolutions. As I go to the gym to workout, everyday I see fewer and fewer people. Are you in the same boat? Have you been slowly backing down? I hope not and I want to encourage you to stay strong and not quit.

Quitting is always the easiest thing to do when it comes to following through with our dreams, we're use to it, right? I don't know about you but for me this year is different. I"m tired of the same old same, this year is my year to finally do all those things that I said "I'm going to do" (http://talesofwork.com/blog/2012/01/im-going-to/).

If you've been struggling a little, if you have slowly been backing down, then stop and let's finish this year out strong together! If you need a little more encouragement, then these tips will help you:

Take a deep breath and refocus: If you have written down your goals for this year somewhere, go and get that list. Read through it and see where you're at. If you haven't really made any progress, then take a deep breath and relax a little, it's not the end of the world. Yes, we want to accomplish a lot this year but the plus side is you caught this early and have eleven months to catch up.
Refocus on why you want to accomplish your goals: When you focus on the how and what you can easily get discourage and overwhelmed. When you focus on why, it helps you see the bigger picture of what you're doing. It helps you see that even though the how and what are hard, the end result will be worth it.
Take some gradual steps forward: You don't have to accomplish every goal you have in one month, if you're stuck in a rut, take the first few steps. Sometimes the first few little steps forward help you into action. If you want to lose weight this year, go spend twenty minutes at the gym, those will be the happiest twenty minutes of your week.
Reach out for support: Sometimes in order to make a little progress you need a kick in the pants from those people who are closest to you. Don't be shy, don't be embarrassed, they're your friends for a reason. Reach out to your bud's and tell them where you're at and where you want to be. If you're having a hard time getting to the gym ask that friend to go with you, I'm sure they won't say no!

One month in, I hope that you have made some progress towards your goals and dreams for this year. At some point we have to stop "existing" in life and start "living" out our dreams. If you're struggling take the first steps this week and keep pushing forward. If you want some encouragement or want to share a victory, then here's a good place: http://talesofwork.com/blog/share-your-story/

How are you doing with your goals? Let us know in the comments:

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Stop Looking At Other People

I'm going to give you one key to succeeding at work or with your own business, stop comparing what you do to what other people or other businesses are doing.

It's human nature to want to look at what someone else is doing and have that be a determiner for where you're at, STOPING DOING IT.

My story:

I started my current business about 10 years ago and when I did, everyone told me I wouldn't be able to do it full-time. You want to know what I do, right? I subcontract to independent operators of a large bread company. They get roughly 20% of what the make but are responsible for all their own expenses. It also means when they want to take a vacation they have to find their own person.

10 years ago I worked for a major bread company. One of the independent operators told me that if I came and ran his route, and did a good job, I would have work for life. So I came and did a good job and started running for all the guys there, I built a solid business out of it.

To make a long story short, other people started to take notice of how successful I was and wanted in on the action. I remember a few guys putting out fliers to try and take some of my business and I was freaking out. I went to my close friend (Chaka) and told him what was going on. He gave me some advice that has stuck with me until this day, he said: "don't worry about what they're doing or how they're doing it, you just continue to do a good job and provide great service, and your customers won't go anywhere."

He spoke the truth!

Message to business owners:

 When you own a business the natural tendency is to worry about what your competition is doing and how much they're charging. This is the old model; I want you to try something radically different. Instead of worrying about lowering your prices to match theirs, improve your customer service, make your place of business so welcoming and friendly people won't want to leave. Your competition may lower their price and yes, they may get a few of your customers, but building a business is about finding those quality customers that aren't only focused on price but on the whole experience. Those customers that leave you and go to the cheaper business will leave that cheaper business for another cheaper business that has even lower prices than them. While you'll still be here with those loyal customers that you'll have for life because of how well you have taken care of them: stop looking at your competition, look at your business.

Message to employees:

Do you feel like every day you're in competition with other employees at your job? Do you constantly watch how they're doing certain tasks and try to be better than them? STOP DOING IT! If you think that all you have to do is be better than that person and you'll be fine, you're sadly mistaken and you might as well start looking for a different job right now. With the economy the way it is, companies have the option to be picky now. If you want to keep your job, if you want to get promoted at your job, you have to stick out from everyone else. Stop looking at your coworkers and just focus on being the best employee at that company! Great work and hard workers will always get noticed and promoted.

 Message for those chasing their dreams:

When you're following the path to your dreams you always wonder how you're doing. Usually you gauge your progress by looking at what other people who are on the path as you are doing. Do you have a friend how wants to do the same thing or something similar as you? You guys are friends but let's be honest, deep down there's a little competition, it's our nature. When that friend comes to you and says "I just did this…" outwardly you say "great buddy" but inside you kind of feel like you're failing, STOPPING DOING THIS! Be genuinely happy for your friend and look at their progress as motivation for you to get your butt into gear. It doesn't have to be a friend, it could be a random person you know, what they are doing has nothing to do with you. Stop looking at other dreamers! Instead focus on pushing as hard as you can on your dreams, not giving in to your feelings.

What other people are doing and what they accomplish is not an indicator of your success or failure. Even if you made more progress than someone else it doesn't matter, stop looking at others and push even farther. We spend some much time and energy comparing ourselves and our progress when that time could be spent getting to the next level of our dreams.

 We all have been guilty of this at one point or another, let's stop this together!

Have you been guilty of looking at other people or comparing your progress to theirs? Let us know in the comments:

A Key To Getting Ahead: Reading

When was the last time you read a good book? Can't remember? THAT'S A PROBLEM!

There are a lot of things that are free these days and not all of them are good. Some of these "free" things will drain you of your time and your mind (TV) and are designed to market to you to take your money. First, don't fall for any of these traps (that's a goal this year, right?) take advantage of the best free resource out there (ok, second best, water is first): READING.

Want to hear a little secret? They are entire libraries full of free books that hold enough information on any subject you can think of to make you a genius. In these days of TV and the Internet, we have completely forgotten about reading, it's a lost art. I hope not for you. If you haven't been a reader in the past, why not start.

In this economy, companies are looking for that person that stands out from everyone else, reading can help with that. Think about this, you're in an interview talking about different things, how impressed would the interviewer be if you were knowledgable about whatever subject interested him?

Want to learn a new language? Read about it.
Want to learn about a specific company and what they do? Read about it.
Want to learn about setting up a website for a new business? Read about it.
All these things can only help you get a better job, move ahead in your current job, or start a new business.

I think you get what I'm talking about, take advantage of the beautiful words and stories and knowledge that are in books. When I'm traveling and sometimes when I'm working, I like to listen to a good fiction audiobook, for the most part I enjoy non-fiction that can teach me things that I don't know about. With all the books available, you have so many choices, enjoy it!

How many books did you read last year? How many do you plan on reading this year? Let us know in the comments:

One Key To Success: A Close Group Of Friends

If you have a close group of friends that not only support you, but push you to do better, no one will be able to stop you from taking over the world!

This is us in Las Vegas

I've been blessed to have this very kind of group, and if you follow this website then you know whom I'm talking about, you can see them here: http://talesofwork.com/blog/about-me/ (it's the parent blog team). Everyday we talk about our progress on our dream jobs, and if we haven't made any progress, then we call each other out for any excuses we might be making.

Do you have a close group of friends that will do this for you?

I don't think I need to tell you that who you hand around with will affect what progress you make at certain tasks, and even your life. Do you remember when you where in high school and all the cool kids were the "trouble makers"? What did you do when you wanted to be considered cool? You hung out with the bad kids and you got into a lot of trouble, you didn't care because you were then considered a cool kid, right?

Besides being consider cool, how did hanging out with those kids improve your grades, your attitude, or your future? I have to tell you it works the same way when you're older, if you hang out with bums, they'll eventually drag you down to their level. All that negative energy from them will rub off on you and start creeping in to other area's of your life, trust me, I know this from personal experience.

I wanted to hang out with those people who I thought were "cool" that went out of their way to be different from everyone else, I wanted to be like that. They hated the "system" and bashed everything, that energy made me an angry person. This is the thing that I've come to realize (maybe you know this already), just be yourself, stop trying to be someone you're not to impress other people.

When you hang out with those guys that are trying to get ahead in life, those guys that put their kids above themselves. Those guys or gals that not only want to succeed, but also want you to succeed, you'll do better, you'll work harder, you influence each other to grow to unimaginable level's of success.

If you don't have a group like this, can you start one?

You may have to be the first among your friends to organize a group life this, you may have to be the first to make progress and push your other friends. However, if you do and your friends respond, the results will blow your mind!

This group should be there for you no matter what, anytime, any place, they have to be REAL!

I'm blessed to have such an amazing inspiring group of friends that even believes in me enough to write about parenting on this website, I appreciate them so much. We're good for each other because we all push each other in a positive direction, you need this in your life. Who you hang out with WILL affect other area's of your life, so choose wisely….

What kind of friends do you have? Do they push you in a positive direction? Let us know in the comments:

 

"I'm Going To……."

How many times have you been talking to someone and used the phrase: "I'm going to…", what?

We're all guilty of this and there's nothing wrong with it as long as you take action!

It makes us feel good about not doing what we should be doing:

I can't tell you how many times I've told people I was going to do this and that, I would see them a few weeks later and they would ask me about it, you know how it goes right? There would be that awkward stumbling around, fumbling for an excuse, I would then quickly try to change the subject! Now be honest, have you ever been in a similar situation? We plan on doing different things in our lives, we tell others about them, one way or another we never take action on those things. We even use this line as an excuse: "I was going to lose weight but my legs feel too sore to work out". If we want to succeed, we have to stop using this as an excuse and take action!

Be honest with yourself:

The only way to break the cycle of making excuses is to realize what we're doing and change it. You might be lying to yourself right now thinking that even though you haven't done that certain task, you're still working on it. Really? When was the last time you even thought about it? Be honest about it, don't beat yourself up though. We all make mistakes, we all make excuses, we all fall down. The difference between the good and the great is that the great know that every time they fall, they'll get up afterwards. Do you get up or do you like to sit on the ground and cry?

Think before you speak:

The best way for all of us to not get caught up in the "I'm going to" game is to think about what we want to do before we tell people. It's good to have goals and dreams, we need them. Instead of telling your friends what you're going to do, tell them: these are my goals and dreams, and then get to work on them, take action. Next time you see your friends, instead of having an awkward conversation, you can say I have done, this, this and this, giving them specific results. Isn't this a better way to handle things?

Surprise yourself and everyone else:

I'd like to finish up with a call to action from you and me. Going forward lets continue to plan, continue to pursue our goals and dreams. We can even tell our closest friends about those plans but when we do, let's take action.

do something everyday, no matter how small
don't let your doubts slow your progress
reach out for support if you feel depressed or discouraged
focus on why you're doing what you're doing

It's a given that you're going to use the phrase "I'm going to", just have it be different this time, by actually following through and doing it!

What have you been saying "I'm going to…" about? Let us know in the comments:

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The Best Moment To Deal With Stress At Work (or in life)

One of the best ways to deal with stress at work or anywhere for that matter, is to chop stresses roots off before they have a chance to grow!

Maybe not like this at work

I thought I had all my bases covered but as you know, life sometimes throws you a curve ball. That morning getting to the truck I loaded it all up, pretty quickly and was a solid hour and a half ahead of normal. I got into the truck and started it and…..nothing! The truck is a diesel truck and it was plugged in all night (so I thought) so it should have fired right up but it didn't. I got my car, got some jumper cables and tried to give the batteries some juice, still didn't work.

As I was doing all of this I kept looking at the clock, I was losing time fast. At one point I really started to get stressed and things started falling over, I fell in the snow, I had to use the restroom, it all seemed to be coming at me at the same time:

When you start to feel like everything is coming at you at once, you start feeling that pressure, you feel your body heat starting to rise, that's the best moment to deal with stress!

Knowing when to walk away:

Have you been at work and you messed up and your boss just got done yelling at you? What is your normal reaction? You get upset thinking of all the ways you would quit and tell them off, but you go back to your work day and it just seems like nothing will go right. You mess up on papers you're working on, you trip over an open file cabinet, you spill coffee on yourself.

What if you worked at a physical job like construction? What if you shot your foot with a nail gun (extreme example)? At the moment when you deal with a situation that has the potential to cause stress, take a small walk, clear your head and breathe deeply! If you go any further without decompressing is when it will turn into chaos! Go somewhere quite, if you can, and take a little time out. Remember when you were younger and the teacher gave you a time out, you might have been one upset kid, but it worked, didn't it?

Sing yourself a song, even if you look crazy:

Don't worry about what other people will think about you if you do what you have to do to avoid anger or stress. Sing yourself a nice, soothing song, do what you have to do to bring your anger level back down to 2.

Use this in work or life:

As you go through life there are bound to be things that will anger you or stress you out, if you deal with them at that specific moment you can eliminate those times where you just feel like taking an all day nap. You're going to win some (I hope a lot) but you're also going to lose some, be prepared. When you lose and you realize it, pick your head up, get yourself together and do what you have to do.

The beauty of life is that we frequently get second chances, it's not too late! You can win this battle, I believe in you, just don't forget that specific moment when things have the potential to go from ok to horrible.

Put this into practice:

So this week in whatever what you do, I want you to put this into action. Take those little time out's before things escalate. I would love to hear about how you did, email me and let me know: Kimanzi@talesofwork.com

How do you deal with stress? Let us know in the comments:

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How To Change Your Life Starting Today!

At one point or another we all want to change our life, we just can't figure out how to go about it!

Give up or move ahead?

Are you happy with everything in your life right not? I'm guessing not, but is it a fair question? Some will say that you can never be truly happy with everything in your life but I say HOG WASH!

Believe it or not, there are people who are truly happy with every aspect of their lives, I've met some on them. Did they discover some magically book somewhere that teaches the secret's to happiness? I submit to you that you can be truly happy with everything in your life if you develop the right attitude!

Those people who are truly happy still have different things that they work on to approve but they have a different attitude than you or I. If there are things in your life that you aren't happy with and want to change, here are six ways to help you change those things:

Make sure you truly want to change those things: You may be at a job that you like and have never had an issue with but one day or one week, everything you could think of goes wrong. Your boss is constantly yelling at you that week, you messed up three tasks, your coworkers are driving you bonkers (AAHH)! All of this may happen and you might think: "I really want to quit and change jobs!", but do you really? You can have a bad week at a job you like, you just have to realize it's a bad week. If you made a change to a different job because of a bad week, you might ruin the rest of your life! What about a certain way you parented your kids? What if you firmly believed in spanking but then decided to make a change and use the grounding method? Your kids could see this and have a field day and you may have "lost" them. Do you really want to change these certain things in you life or are you just going through a rough patch?
Identify the things you truly want to change and take action: So you have taken a little time and made sure you weren't just going through a rough patch. Now you have an idea of what you want to change, take the first step. You don't have to change overnight, you just have to move forward. If you want to lose weight this year, you don't have to do it in a week but the first step might be to sign up for a gym membership. How about taking a walk that day? Those are the first steps and that's what you need to do once you've identified area's you want to change! Be very specific!
Start making any changes gradually: Two years ago I decided I wanted to change my weight, so I hit it very hard and lost 132 pounds. The problem was I didn't do it gradually. I would go to the gym for four hours a day and ate 1200 calories a day, yeah I lost the weight super fast but I was always tired, always cranky. I didn't do it gradually so I didn't learn some valuable lessons and as a result I gained all the weight back. Going slow teaches you the importance of never going back to what you just changed. If you move to fast you might end up hitting a bump, falling down and then getting so frustrated that you give up. Go slow, look at it as a marathon and not just a quick race.
Enjoy the journey: We are always so quick to rush through things that we miss the best part, the thrill of the journey! I know it doesn't "feel" thrilling while you're running on a treadmill trying to lose weight, I've been there. However, it can be a thrill if you realize what the end result will be. It can be a thrill if you put a great audiobook on while you were running, or an amazing podcast that helped you in other area's of your life. Life is sooo short and we have to take advantage and enjoy those little moments because before you know it, they'll all be gone!
Reach out for support: Sometimes the road can be bumpy and rough but with a little support from friends or loved ones, it will be bearable. How nice is it when you go and work out with a friend? When I'm running with a friend of mine, I look over and him and instantly get a jolt of energy to keep running. Support can help push you to work harder at your changes or it can be a shoulder to cry on if the journey has you worn down. It's not cowardly to reach out for support, it could be the difference between success and failure!
Look for the light at the end of the tunnel: Have you ever heard the expression: "begin with the end in mind", it's so true. If you can't see where you're going, how do you expect to get there? No matter what don't give up, look ahead and see what that change will look like once you've finished it. Remember what's at stake, why did you want to make that change? It might seem impossible at times, it might take everything that you've got but stay strong and keep pushing forward. If you see that light at the end of the tunnel, it will help you not trip or stop!

I hope you have made goals to change certain aspects of your life this year. If you change one thing and I change another, we could change this world for good, one by one. It's not impossible, you can change whatever you want in your life, you have the power. Don't give up, move forward and let's all change our lives for good. If we do this, we'll be able to say we are truly happy with every area of our lives!

What do you want to change? Do you believe it's possible? Let us know in the comments:

How To Quit Your Job Without Ruining Your Life

At one point or another, each of us has thought about quitting our job, right? It's Friday, you might have had the worst week in the world! Are you thinking about quitting?

It really doesn't take much to set us off and make us want to quit, does it? It could be that annoying person you work with or that boss that doesn't think anything you do is good enough. You could just be having one of those bad days where everything is falling over and nothing seems to be going right, is it time to quit then?

I can't tell you when it's time to quit your job and you'll never hear me tell you to quit, it's a personally choice. However, if you have gotten to the point where you're confident that it is time to quit, here are four things to help you quit:

Make sure you're not just having a bad day or bad week: The stars could be aligning just the wrong way and making your week go haywire, it happens. Their might come a time though, when you realize you're going nowhere, you may have been passed up for that promotion for the third time and you see it's just time to quit. You see the difference?  Take some time to think through it, if you're a christian, then pray about it. Just don't walk into to your bosses office and give him a piece of your mind, it may feel good but it's not the right way to quit.
Have a back up plan: I talk about this indirectly in this blog post: http://talesofwork.com/blog/2011/11/using-plan-b/ how are you going to pay your bills if you quit on the spot? If you have a family, how will you support them? I know at times it may seem unbearable to be at a job you know you'll eventually quit, but stick it out. Before you quit your job, work on having a plan B, another way to make money to pay your bills. If you KNOW you're going to have to quit to keep your sanity, then start mapping out a strategy to pick up somewhere else, your wife will thank you greatly for this!
Don't burn any bridges on your way out: So now you have a solid back plan to quit your job, you're ready to go, still don't just quit without any notice! I know that if you have a back up plan it might be tempting to finally let someone have it but you never know what's going to happen. You might ream that boss out only to have him come and be the boss at your new company six months later, how will that work out? The world is big but seems small when it comes to people moving around in certain industrys, you end up seeing the same people again. Give your two weeks notice and leave the right way, on good terms, it will work out better for you in the long run. Think about this, if worse comes to worse, you might want to have the option to return to that job.
Leave better than you started: You don't want to burn any bridges, you want to reserve the right to return if you have to, the best way to do this is to do such incredible work on your way out that they remember you for years to come! I know you're a good worker so you've probably been doing this all along but when you have put in your two weeks notice, step your work up to the next level. I'm not talking about working seventy extra hours, but each job that you do should be as close to perfect as you can make it. That hard assignment that nobody seems to get right, you step in and hit it out of the park. Doing this will help if you have to come back, they might even give you an offer you can't refuse until you can make it work with your dream job.

If you're going to quit your job I hope you use these principles, it will help you in the long run. Please, I repeat, please, make sure this is the right decision for yourself and if you have a family, for them. Too many people have ruined their lives and the lives of their loved ones because of rash emotionally decisions made in the heat of the moment, don't be one of those people!

Have you ever quit a job the wrong way? Let us know in the comments:

 

"I Don't Feel Like It!"

I have to let you in on some breaking news, you're never going to feel like doing what you know you should and need to do!

There has been at least a million times where I've set a goal to do something that I knew was right and good, but when the time came, I didn't feel like doing it anymore. Has this ever happened to you?

The thing with fulfilling our goals and dreams is we can't rely on our feelings, they will betray us every time. If you struggle with this a little (or a lot) here are three things to help you get past your feelings:

Do it anyways: If you have set a goal to lose weight this year and Monday comes and you plan on going to the gym, after a hard day of work you might not "feel" like it. When you have that gym bag in your hand and that voice in your head says "you had a hard day of work, you'll go tomorrow", tell that voice to shut up, get your car keys and go to the gym. You may not feel like it but I guarantee after that work out, you'll feel better and be glad you went.
Have a friend help you out: In this same scenario if you had it planned out with a friend or called a friend, if they're a real friend, I'm sure they would help and encourage you to go to the gym. Even as adults we still have a little fear in us of peer-pressure, so use this to push you past the not feeling like doing something you set a goal to accomplish.
Make it a habit: I've talked about this in detail in other blog posts but if you form a habit with certain goals in your life, your feelings won't even be able to dream of stopping you. If you formed a habit of working out four days a week, and did this for six months straight, then when the feeling of not wanting to do it creeps in, it will fade out quickly because it's already programmed in your body and mind. The habit will win in the end!

I talked a lot about working out but not "feeling" like doing something could apply to anything in your life, the same principles apply.  If it was up to our feelings we would never go anywhere and stay home, sleep for ten hours a day and watch TV and eat for the rest of the day. We don't need our feelings, we need habits and resolve to accomplish all our goals and dreams.

Remember, if you set your mind to it, form habits, and have determination, you can make this the most fruitful year of your life. This also goes hand in hand with not just existing, ignoring those feelings and knocking out your goals is truly living! Don't be a spectator to your life because your "feelings" have sidetracked you, LIVE YOUR LIFE!

What have you not "felt" like doing that you know you should? Let us know in the comments:

 

One Soda A Day Keeps Your Savings Away!

You're pretty smart so I don't need to tell you that every single cent of your money counts!

Last year I had a work schedule where I wasn't getting much sleep, so to keep me up I would get a Mountain Dew from the gas station from time to time. Now, it started out as a way to keep me up but quickly moved into a bad habit that I did even when I wasn't working. As you probably already know, Mountain Dew can be addictive. I would buy a 44oz everyday at the cost of .83 cents, not that much money right?

There probably are little things that you spend money on everyday that you don't even give a second thought to, they cost the same amount of money that you would find in your couch cushions. You can see where I'm going with this, all those "little things" add up to a good amount of money in the end, money you could use for a number of different goals and dreams.

Do you have an emergency fund set up? Could you if you cut out all those little expenses? I talk about an emergency fund in more detail here: http://talesofwork.com/blog/2012/01/living-paycheck-to-paycheck/, it's worth a read. I know it can be hard sometimes at work when you get hungry and you just want a little snack from the vending machine and you have two bucks in your pocket, as hard as it is, it could pay off greatly if you resist the temptation. If you're self employed like myself the temptation comes in the way of buying fast food, it's so much easier to just pull in the drive through at McDonald's and buy a quick-lunch, you don't even need cash anymore.

The Problem:

If you have a goal to get out of a job you don't love or to move onto something or somewhere you've been dreaming about, then every little candy bar or trip to a fast food place delays that dream. Think about what that .83 cents adds up to in a year: $302.95. Or how much does that fast food add up to, even if you're only going one or two times a week? In order to move forward you're going to need money to make it work, in order to be a little more secure, you're going to need some money as an emergency fund. That $302.95 could be the start to my emergency fund or yours.

So how can I put a stop to this?

Remember back in the day when your mom use to pack you a bag lunch for school? As you know, you can pack a lunch for work and put more than your lunch in that bag, have a whole bunch of little snacks in there for you. I really didn't need that soda everyday to keep me up, buying some healthy oranges gives me the boast that I need at a way cheaper price.

You have to realize that it's all connected:

If you cut out getting fast food or cut out that soda or that candy bar or whatever little thing you're into, what do you think the results would be? You would have more money in your pocket but you would also cut out the junk from your eating habits. You would then lose a little weight and feel a lot better. I felt like I needed that soda but after a month of not drinking it I felt like I had as much energy as my kids. You see how one area affects another?

A small challenge for you:

Actions speak louder than words so why not test out my theory. For the next month try to not spend money on even the smallest items at work or even in your home life. See if you have more money and check the scales to see if it helps your weight. If I'm wrong you'll have more money to spend when you go back to buying  junk. Can you try this for just one month?

I hope you decide to take me up on this challenge, I think if we band together and try this we can be each others support system. You're here reading this blog, probably because you're pursuing your dreams, trying to move onto work that you love, cutting out the little stuff and saving that money will help you get closer to those dreams!

What are some little things you struggle with? Be honest and let us know in the comments: