Kimanzi Constable's Blog, page 67

A Must Have In Chasing Your Dreams: Determination

You can see my friend

While in New York a few weeks ago, my friend and I wanted to visit Ground Zero and see the memorial, with the conference letting out at 10 p.m. it had to be a late night trip. First, we had to figure out which subway line to take to get there, it really doesn’t take long to get to anywhere in New York once you figure out the right lines.

We got some help and where on our way, by the time we figured things out and got there it was 11 p.m. The thing that everyone we asked failed to mention was that the memorial is only open when the financial districts are open (as you know it’s in the middle of wall Street), from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.

I was ready to snap a couple of pictures of what we could and go back to the hotel but my friend was determined, in his words: “we didn’t come all this way to give up now”. We could see the new building they’re putting by the site and the whole area is blocked off for construction, my friend looked and saw a Hilton hotel overlooking the memorial, so he proposed we get in the hotel, take the elevator to a high floor and take pictures from a lobby window.

We took the elevator to the 33rd floor got out and ran into rooms, you had to be inside a room to see a view of the memorial, again I was ready to quit. He found another hidden stairway and we took it a few floors up and found another elevator, we took that to the 55th floor. When we got out we knew we were out-of-place, the whole floor was marble and really nice, when we looked at the rooms they said this on the door: “Mayor’s Suite and Governor’s suite and President’s suite” we quickly realized we were completely out-of-place (it was good we weren’t tackled by security). It was pointless still because the view from the site was still inside the rooms and we weren’t going to knock on any doors.

We went up another stairway and saw a door for the roof (that was alarmed) and one for security (we weren’t knocking on that door

From the 55th floor

either!) so we got into the elevator to leave. On the way down my friend had one more idea, go to the fifth floor and get some pictures from the gym. We got out and you needed a hotel key card to get into the gym (bummer), my friend say a cleaning guy and asked him to open up for us to get a couple of pics. He asked if we were hotel guests and my friend told him he were guests to New York (LOL), I pulled out my ID to prove it and he went to the phone to call security, we promptly left. The thing about this was I really wanted to go, my friend just came for support, but once there, he had the determination that I lacked.

When I got home and thought about this incident I laughed but it also made me think about determination and chasing your dreams:

Sometimes you need a little push towards your dreams

You may be in a job or business that makes you miserable but are afraid to quit or don’t know how to. Sometimes a little push move’s you in that direction or show’s you a way. Once heading in that direction you’re going to need determination as one of the things you use for success. That determination you have can even be a help to others that may already be on that path but are losing hope, be their determination like my friend was for me.

You have to be willing to pursue your passion no matter what

When you decide and have been praying and are convinced, what your dreams are and what your path is, doubt will immediately creep in. You will also have haters and even people close to you that will try to talk you out of it. You will experience bumps on the road and even all out disasters but determination to reach a higher caller, a determination to really help people and spread hope will fuel you past anything. You just can’t give up, we all have done this way too many times in the past, it’s time to claim the abundant, fruitful life the Lord wants for all of us. Use determination to succeed as one of your tools to get there.

Feed off of the determination of those close to you

I wanted to give up and go back to the hotel, my friend didn’t, you need a friend or friends like that. Friends that will push you when you feel like giving up, friends that are pushing themselves and you feed off of their determination. Just as you need these friends, you have to avoid the ones that will hold you back or try to slow down your determination. It’s important to have friends who will be honest with you but there’s a big difference between being honest and negative. If you don’t have friends or family that will help your determination find them, they can be a real sense of hope for you when you feel down!

If you’re taking the major of step of chasing your dreams, whatever they are, you’re going to need determination. Let it be the extra push you need to get you over that big hill.

What do you have determination for?  What could you use determination to help you accomplish?

 

Show Me Your Friends And I Will Show You Your Future

Note from Kimanzi: This is a guest post (my very first guest post!) by TC Avey, who is a conservative blogger who posts on current events, religion, and politics on her blog here you can also follow her on twitter here. If you would like to guest post on my blog, email a post to Kimanzi@talesofwork.com and I’ll give it a read!

Have you ever heard the saying, “Show me your friends and I will show you your future?”

I have and over the years I have come to realize, that for the most part, it is true.

Who I surround myself with helps define my goals and path.

What about you, do you believe this to be true?

I’m not talking about people you HAVE to be around, like co-workers or family. I’m talking about who you chose to spend your free time with, those you call ‘friends’.

What are their goals? Where are they going in life? Is that where you want to go?

Let’s take this one step farther:

Show me your mentors and I will show you your future.

No two paths are the same. Even similar paths have differences because we are all unique individuals.

However, who you chose to emulate will help determine the type of person you are and the path you are traveling.

A young boy looks up to star NBA players. He watches them, he surrounds himself with others who share this same passion and he works night and day to become like one of his favorite players.

This young boy is on a path to follow in their footsteps. He has a mentor and he is working to become like those star athletes.

We all know not every little boy with a dream to be an NBA player will actually become an NBA player, however if that little boy never tried, it is certain he will never be in the NBA.

How about you, what is your dream?

Are you surrounding yourself with people who will help you achieve that dream?

Do you have mentors to help motivate you to keep pressing on, especially when times get tough?

Your mentor does not even have to know you look up to them. Some of my greatest mentors do not even know I am alive.

However, my greatest mentor, He certainly knows I’m alive- He created me. His name is Jesus Christ, Son of God.

If you don’t know Him, check Him out, you will be glad you did because you will never have a bigger fan (not even your mama can love you this much)!

Who are your friends?

The Long Hard Road To Your Dreams

Last summer I would take my kids to a local park to let them play and burn all that excess energy they had. At first I would jump in with them or just sit and watch them. When I finally decided to take actions on my dreams, I would sit in the park and write. Most of my first book was written outside in that park.

The time while I was writing the book wasn’t easy, with a wife and three kids there’s just not that much free time to sit and write. I would have to write with lots of noise and fights between kids all around me. You also add in work and over-time and the demands and stress after work and it seemed impossible at times.

As the book released I was super excited until the end of the second week, they were no to very little sales. My spirit was crushed and I was ready to give up and just accept a mediocre life. To make things worse, I went into work a few days later and heard how the managers at the company had heard about my book and joked with each other that it was a “coloring book”, ouch!

It’s not going to be easy for you

You already know from different experiences in life that things are rarely easy, yet when we hit the bumps we act all surprised, why? I feel it’s my responsibility to tell you it will be hard to follow your dreams, maybe one of the hardest things you do in life. A friend named Loren (http://www.lifeofasteward.com/) would tell you that you have to realize it’s all in your mind, and he’s right. Those things that seem rough and overwhelming usually aren’t if we break them down and handle them one at a time. When you’re on your path and you’re faced with struggle, take a deep breath and remember what you’re doing and why you need to get through the struggle. What you’re trying to do can affect the rest of your life in a positive way, you have to beat those voices in your mind!

People will criticize you and try to hold you back

You remember me mentioning the managers that called my book a color book? There were all kinds of people along the way who told me I would never make it writing, that no one would listen. There were family members who told me that I had a good paying job and I should focus on staying there and retiring.

I don’t know who it will be in your life but be sure as you’re on the long hard road that there will be people who tell you that you won’t make it. You’ll even have people who think they mean well but are actually holding you back by planting doubt. If you’re going to be successful then you’re going to have to look past these people and not let doubt sink in, remember why you’re doing this.

You will have success but you also experience failure

Chasing your dreams is not like it’s portrayed in the movies, there’s not always a happy ending. As you’re on the path things will go well and you’ll be well received. Just as you’re celebrating, the other shoe can drop, be ready for this. One thing that you better determine before you start chasing your dreams is whether you have the staying power, when you fail will you push forward or give up?

My prayer is that everyone who isn’t at a job or business that they love would figure out what that work is and pursue their passion. Life is too short to spend even one minute be miserable, much less 40 hours a week, it will affect the rest of your life! Please, make this the year that you pursue your passion!

Are you on the long road to your dreams? What have you faced?

P.S. Don’t miss Wednesday’s post, I will have my very first guest poster! I’m super excited to bring this post to you!

 

 

 

What’s Your Story?

For over ten years I have been in a job that has not only made me miserable but has taken time away from the things that are important to me. From the outside looking in, people would tell me to shut up and stop complaining, I make good income and have a pretty flexible schedule.

The problem is the hours, starting work at 2 a.m. really sucks! It means to get a decent night’s sleep I have to go to bed earlier then I would like and earlier then my family. With having to wake up so early on Thursday morning, I haven’t been able to go to a Wednesday night service at church in a long while (too long!). I used to try to power through but the lack of sleep was not healthy.

Now I know most jobs are stressful but this job has to be high on the list. Since it’s a customer service oriented business, you get it from everywhere, the customers, the stores, and the company (for me from the drivers also).  For those of you who have read my first book, you know about all of this.

I remember talking to my friends and we all individually came to the same conclusion, this was not our true calling. We had talked about taking action but didn’t, we all made every excuse we could think of to not take action. The summer last year was when enough was enough.

I had always loved to write when I was younger but had given up on that love, I knew I wanted to teach the everyday working person that there’s more out there for us, we don’t have to settle. So my two love’s came together and got married, two books and a manifesto came out of that marriage.

Now I’m on a crusade and I’m starting a movement of people who will take action and claim the abundant life that the Lord wants them to lead. I’ll keep writing and speaking and creating products that will help the everyday working man and woman pursue their dreams and passions.

What’s your story?

If you’re a blogger, writer, author or someone teaching people, those people need to know your story. People are emotional and they want to know and connect with you, your story is the best way for them to connect.

Why are you doing what you do? Why do you teach and train your topic?

People want to know where you’re coming from and what gives you the right to speak to them, they have to know you’ve been in their shoes and know what they’re going through.

If you’re an everyday working man and woman, I have been one of you for the last fourteen years, I know your struggles and your pains. I know what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, I know what’s it’s like to not even have enough money to make it through the week.

I know what’s it’s like to feel like everything around you is falling apart and it seems like there’s no hope. I know what’s it’s like to want to leave that job that makes you miserable but not know how or what to do. I have been there!

Armed with a $250 laptop I set out to follow my dreams and to help and teach others how to follow their’s, I had so much doubt I’m surprised I could even write a word. I had to ignore that doubt and take action, and keep taking action, I formed a step by step plan and I’m following that plan right now. It won’t be easy and I’ll fall but I promise you I will get back up!

So here’s my story: I have been where you have been and I have gone through what you’re going through. I took action and I’m happy to tell you that today I got one more step closer to my dreams when I signed a four book deal with a publisher!

My second book will officially be in print this fall (please look for it!) and I will be speaking! I may not have fully arrived but I got one more step closer today. Your story doesn’t have to end with despair, I want to give you this hope: As an everyday working man, I’m following my dreams and you can too! What are you waiting for?

What’s your story? Why do we need to hear it? How can it help and inspire people?

 

The Risks of Not Getting Enough Sleep

A few years ago I read an article about how all successful people are multi-tasker’s. The article went on to show people who would balance several different tasks and “get a tremendous amount of tasks” accomplished, I was hooked. I would look for every chance I could to multi-task and took on way more than I could handle.

Soon I had so much to do I had to stay up late to get it all done. I would promise people I would do this and that and it got to the point where I would only get two to four hour’s of sleep a night. At first I would wake up at 2 a.m. for work and feel really tired but I downed a 32 oz Mountain Dew and convinced myself this is how all great, successful multi-tasker’s do things.

A couple of months later I was driving the bread truck in the morning, I already had my Mountain Dew, I gave myself the peep talk but none of it was working, I couldn’t keep my eye’s open. I was driving and gave in a just a few seconds (it honestly might have been 40 seconds to a minute) and closed my eyes, when I opened them I was heading head on into a building. The thing was I would have had enough distance to stop but there was snow on the ground. So I screamed, hit the brakes and watched the truck slide, I had about 15 feet before I would have hit the building, I was safe but the truck was messed up, all the bread was all over the place, one tire was ripped because I ran over a large curb.

At that moment I realized the article I read was WRONG, and I had taken on too much! I sacrificed sleep thinking I was getting more done. I want to tell you from personal experience that multi-tasking doesn’t work out better than taking tasks one at a time and you need to get the proper amount of sleep.

I know it’s tempting to push through, get a little less sleep to “get things done” but it’s not worth it and you will sacrifice the next day and maybe even your week. Our bodies need sleep to get refreshed from all the wear and tear of the day, to heal any sickness we have, to get the energy we’re going to need for the next day. I could give you study after study about sleep but you already know how important sleep is!

So I have to ask: are you getting enough sleep? Could you get more accomplished if you slept more?

P.S. Here is a great post to read about napping:http://michaelhyatt.com/why-you-should-take-a-nap-every-day.html

The Best Way To Deal With Chaos

The best way to deal with chaos is to embrace it, there I gave you the secret right away!

I don’t know how life is for you these days but for me it’s busy. Between the 40 plus hours I spend at work, time with my kids, time with my spouse, ministry opportunities, family functions and all the random things that pop up from time to time! Thinking about it now makes me cringe a little!

In the midst of all of this it’s easy to get frustrated and want to go and hide in the corner, but there’s a lot better way to get through it all:

Prepare things as much as possible ahead of time. A great way to reduce stress and stay ahead of chaos is to set things up ahead of time. If you know you have a big project coming up or your kids have a big project coming up, work on it as much as possible way before the deadline. This can even apply to your everyday life, iron any clothes the night before, make any lunches the night before. Have everything in one spot so that in morning you can grab and go, this also works great when you wake up late and can just smell chaos down the hall. Do as much prep work as you can.

 

Stay as organized as humanly possible. I deliver bread and in the truck things can get out of hand pretty fast. In the past I would throw things all over the place telling myself it’s saving me time and I’ll clean it up later, I was completely wrong. One day after not being able to find some bagels, I told myself enough is enough, I’m getting organized! So from that day until today, I stack the trays in order and as I go throughout the morning I keep everything neat and clean. Doing things this way makes everything easier to find which in turn saves me time and I’m not accidentally stepping on bread. You may think that you can just put things wherever to get through a chaotic situation quicker, it won’t save you any time and it will add to your stress. Even as it seems everything is collapsing around you, stay organized and you can get through those chaotic situations.
Take time out’s. Remember when you were a little child and your parents or a teacher sent you for a time out? You hated it but now that you’re older think about it for a minute, those timeout’s really did work. You were all wound up and out of control, then you were forced to take a break and you slowly started to calm down, sometimes when we’re surrounded by chaos we need timeout’s, even as adult’s. When you have some many things to do, and it seems like everyone needs your attention, politely excuse yourself and take a breather, it will bring your stress level back down to human level’s. If at all possible during that time listen to some music, that should soothe you and drown out the chaos.
Ask for help. For some reason we believe that we have to do things all on our own, we add to our stress by not taking advantage of any help we could get. You aren’t superman or woman (at least I don’t think so) from time to time we all need a helping hand to get us through a rough patch. If you’re like me you have a close group of friends or loving family members who would love to help you any way possible, all you have to do is say the word, so when things get chaotic, say the word!

I told you in the beginning that the best way to deal with chaos is to embrace it, the reason being that in life there will always be chaos. You can do different things and use system’s to minimize chaos but in one form or another it will always be there, so use these tips once chaos come your way, I do believe they will help you.

I challenge you this week to put these tips into action and see if it helps keep your stress level down. If you have had some success or failures, Tales of Work is a great place to vent about it: http://talesofwork.com/blog/share-your-story/

How do you deal with chaos? Have you embraced chaos or are you still struggling?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So what’s the best way to deal with chaos? Embrace it!

How do you deal with chaos?

A Message The World Needs: Hope!

My friends and I had the privilege of coaching a inter-city teen basketball team this year, we had done well and made it all the way to the championship game. Coming into the game we felt pretty good about our chances, we were 7-1, we lost our first game but after that we were beating teams by 20 to 30 points. So coming into the championship game we felt pretty good about our team and their abilities.

As the game went on something weird started to happen, we were not playing our normal game, the other team who we had beaten by 20 the last time we played, were keeping us with us. We got to the fourth quarter and the game was neck and neck, three of our best players had 4 fouls and were in danger of fouling out of the game. At that moment my friends and I and even some of the team was losing hope.

All those hidden doubts we had coming into the game were screaming in our ears, as our hope faded the doubt increased. Then with 30 seconds or so left the other team made a shot and were winning by 1 point with only 14 seconds left. The ball was inbounded and passed two times to our best player, at that moment the hope started over taking the doubt. He got the ball and drove to the basket, it was like what you would see in the movies, he made the shot and time ran out, we won the championship

When you’re chasing your dreams hope is the fuel in your gas tank, when you have no hope you have no real chance of succeeding. With everything that’s going on in our economy, in our world really, we see a lack of hope, people are searching for it. You might be one of those people, do you have hope? If you do, are you spreading the message of hope?

Hope is your shield to stop doubt

Whether it’s chasing your dreams, moving to a new dream job, or starting a business, you will always have doubt. Even when you see some success, your doubts will never go away, when you have doubt, hope can make those doubts look silly.

There was no reason for us to have doubt, our team was solid all year, the doubt only started to take over when we lost hope. If you have a step by step plan and have done the proper research, there’s no need for you to listen to doubt. When you start facing doubt you need hope and you do have hope based off of your planning. If you have prayed about what the Lord would have for you then there’s no reason to have doubt, trust in the Lord, He’s your hope!

Hope is our strength in time of despair

Have you ever talked to someone who just lost a job? Have you been a part of a company that is going through lay-off’s? Have you seen a business that has to close down because of lack of business? In all these situations the hope is gone and it leads to depression and anger, what these people really need is hope.

How much of a difference is there if that person that lost their job gets a call to come into a job interview? At that moment they snap out of those other emotions and they have hope of getting that job which gives hope that everything will be ok. When that company that is laying people off has a great quarter, all of a sudden there’s hope in that office. When someone is going through some of the worst situations in their life, hope can get them through those situations, they need this hope, we need this hope.

Are you spreading the message of hope?

As the negative emotions can be contagious, hope can be far more contagious, that’s why you and I need to spread this message of hope. If you want to chase your dreams, there is hope for you. We are in the greatest time of opportunity, there is opportunity everywhere if you’re willing to see it. Hope seem’s so elusive if you watch or read the news, everyday is a story that makes you doubt and lose hope, STOP! Ignore the news, don’t listen to the negative attitudes of other people, hope is all around you and your dreams deserve hope.

Life is too short for you to lose hope and not live the life you deserve, the life that our Lord wants for you, hold onto hope and chase your dreams! If you want to lose weight, want to move somewhere new, want to learn a new language, whatever it is there is hope for you and you need to be spreading this message.  With the lack of hope in our world today we need all hands on deck spreading this message. There are some many messages that we want to spread with our texts and social media pages and blogs and websites, but hope has to be an important part of that message.

If you are feeling hopeless and aren’t spreading the message of hope, remember back to when you were really hopeless, when you didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Before that we really didn’t have hope but after you accepted Him as your Saviour you not only have hope but you have absolute assurance. Remember that time, remember what you have and start spreading the message of hope today!

Do you have hope? Are you spreading the message of hope?

Can You Help Out With A Survey?

A friend to Tales of Work is endeavoring to take action on his dreams and create a product. Since it will be relevant to my audience, he asked if my readers would be willing to check it out and offer feed back. Your opinion and feedback would be greatly appreciated, let’s help him on the path to his dreams!

 

Idea’s Are Great But You Have To Be You

It was 2 a.m. on a cold Wisconsin morning, it had just snowed and everything was slippery, it was one of those mornings I wished I was still in bed instead of delivering bread. I had to take three stacks of bread into the store, they were 14 trays high and I had to put them on an electric lift. I put the first stack on and it was way more sliding then I wanted, the second stack went on and my gut told me that was enough. I thought about making two trips but I was way to impatient for that so I put the third stack on the lift and all three fell right off. It was 2 a.m. cold, snowy and I had to pick up 3oo plus loaf’s of bread and bagels, that was the moment I knew I had enough, this was not my true passion or calling!

After a lot of time and prayer and researching, I felt called to teach the everyday working person that you can find work that you love no matter what your experience is or how much schooling you have. I loved to write, so I wrote. I started a blog and wanted to draw traffic and attention to it so I looked into all the major websites of people already doing business online. Logical right?

After a month of doing research and finishing my book I was ready to get to work, so I copied what those major websites were doing, exactly. At first I saw a few results but for the most part I was ignored, it was very discouraging and made me want to quit. I just couldn’t figure out what was going wrong, these guys were killing it online and I was trying to use their playbook.

You may be on a similar path and you will read some amazing blog posts and hear some awesome podcasts and you’ll think all I got to do is what those people are doing and you’ll be successful, I hate to tell you it won’t work. The thing that is going to make you stand out, the thing that is going to make you succeed is you and what’s unique about you.

Use great idea’s as a guide

It’s smart to read amazing blogs and listen to awesome podcasts, it’s smart to read how other’s who have gone before you created success. If you were to interview those people they would tell you they did something that they were passionate about and they did it their way. So when you are researching what area you want to change, use what you read or listen to as a guide that you will add your own unique personality to create a path to success.

With some much great material available to us it’s a little easier to get a guide to success, the internet makes so many more things possible. Use this material to help you create a path for success and take action on that plan today. This is going to be the most productive year of your life if you take action, so what are you waiting for?

Have you ever tried to copy someone else? How do you make your path unique?

P.S. If you have a few minutes, check out a special interview I did today about following your dreams: http://tcavey.blogspot.com/2012/04/interview-with-kimanzi-constable-chance.html

Changing The World Starts With The Right Motivation

“1.0 out of 5 stars A piece of junk

This is a ‘rant’ by a totally untalented ‘author’ who conned several thousand people into buying this pointless connection of words. Using ‘blog’ connections he got this piece of junk recommended on the 48 days website. He should put away his pen, refund everyone’s money, then go and take a writing course! ”

This is a review a person left about my manifesto on Amazon a couple of days ago, ouch! To be perfectly honest with you when I saw it I was mad. I have read so many good blog posts and books about how to deal with rejection, I wrote a post about it a couples of days ago, so you would think I would brush this off and keep going. However, despite all the knowledge it still hurt and I was still upset, but only for a little while.

Working through the process

Having this great information and knowledge is a process that you have to work through once you’re faced with this kind of situation. In the past I was all emotion and had nothing but emotional reactions to rejection or criticism, now I can take that knowledge and apply it, while it might not be that very moment, I do get to the point where I can brush it off.

How do would you deal with it? Would you react emotional or do you have your own process?

Why are you really doing what you do?

“Your Impact

Kimanzi,

I just wanted to send you a quick email to let you know my father in-law really liked your book and follows your blog. He let me know the other day and thought I would let you know:) Keep writing and making a difference!!!”

I received this email a couple of days after the bad review and it really hit home for me. When you first deal with rejection your first instinct is to react emotional but as you work through your process you have to come to the point where you remember what your motivation is for doing what you do.

Are you a writer and someone trashes your book or blog? Are you writing for them or to help people with what you write about? Are you a musician and someone bad mouthes your music? Will you react with emotion or remember that you’re trying to bring joy and inspiration to people?

I had to be reminded that my goal and passion to is to teach people that can they live the life of their dreams, that they can change their life. Is everyone going to agree with how I go about this or with what I write about? NO! When the critics talked about Lance Armstrong for getting back into racing and they trashed him and accused him of using drugs he was asked why he got back on the bike? He said this: “I didn’t get back on my bike for them.”

When you’re mad and tempted to quit remember why you started your journey and what you want to do, remember that despite negative people trying to pull you done, you can change the world for good. I want to leave you with two quotes that have really helped me:

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever. That surrender, even the smallest act of giving up, stays with me. So when I feel like quitting, I ask myself, which would I rather live with?”  Lance Armstrong

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Steve Jobs

Why do you do what you do?    How will you deal with criticism and will you let it stop you?