Delilah S. Dawson's Blog, page 27
September 5, 2012
How to Terrorize a Writer
Most writers are odd, and many of us seem to suffer from social anxiety issues of one type or another, especially as relates to our books and the process of writing.
Here's how to fill our lives with terror and discomfort.
1. If the room/restaurant is nearly empty, sit really close. It doesn't matter whether you stare at the writer or turn your back to her, it's going to be uncomfortable. Scoot your chair back even more, blocking her against the wall. For bonus points, wear offensively heavy perfume or eat something really, really stinky.
2. Walk up and attempt to half-heartedly make small talk. Saying things like, "...so?" or "Wow, what a day" works. It's not scary if you talk about something the writer finds interesting or start an actual discussion. Make it as awkward as possible and refuse to hold up your end of the talky-bit.
3. Even worse, walk up WHILE THE WRITER IS WRITING and attempt to make awkward conversation.
4. Try to stare over the writer's shoulder to see what's on the screen. For extra points, ask her what she's writing.
5. For a billion bonus points, stare, ask, and then tell her all about the book you're going to write some day and ask for "pointers" or her agent's name.
6. Every so slightly block her way. Whether it's with your body, your stroller, or a grocery cart, make sure that she has to squint really hard to see if she can squeeze by. She'll be transfixed by the space issue, trying to gauge how much she can bump you and still manage to run away without making eye contact.
7. When she's staring intently into space or scribbling madly on the back of the receipt with the light of inspiration in her eyes, ask her something inane that you should know for yourself, such as the time or weather. When she mutters or shakes her head or holds up a desperate finger, ask louder.
8. Walk up to tell the writer that you didn't like her book. Tell her what was wrong with the characters and plot. Tell her what you would have done better or make suggestions for the next book.
9. Walk up with your laptop and stare at the full plug-in like the feverishly typing writer is suddenly going to unplug and walk away. When she doesn't, hover over her and ask something extremely wishy-washy, like "Can we switch?" or "Are you using that?" instead of just saying something refreshing like, "I know it's really annoying, but can I plug in for a minute?" When the writer is too flummoxed/busy to do more than mutter "Fine," unplug her cord, leave it on the floor, plug in your Mac, and proceed to have a really loud phone conversation while you surf the web for new shoes. (YES, THIS IS ODDLY SPECIFIC FOR A REASON, WOMAN WHO DID THIS TO ME YESTERDAY.)
10. If the writer's book launched more than one week ago, ask when her next book is out and insinuate that she's not working very hard/writing fast enough. Say something like, "Wow, a year? It takes you that long to write a book?" or "Huh. I guess your publisher doesn't think you had the chops for a tight schedule." Then tell the writer how many words per minute you type and how big your IDEAS folder is.
11. Ask if you can borrow a pen. When she says she only has one, don't give it back.
12. Ask her if she has any books with her. When she presents one, ask if you can have it. Don't offer to pay for it or ask her how much. for bonus points, open it up, crack the spine, and hand it back, saying you'll get it at the library or borrow it for Kindle.
*
Did I miss any?
Here's how to fill our lives with terror and discomfort.
1. If the room/restaurant is nearly empty, sit really close. It doesn't matter whether you stare at the writer or turn your back to her, it's going to be uncomfortable. Scoot your chair back even more, blocking her against the wall. For bonus points, wear offensively heavy perfume or eat something really, really stinky.
2. Walk up and attempt to half-heartedly make small talk. Saying things like, "...so?" or "Wow, what a day" works. It's not scary if you talk about something the writer finds interesting or start an actual discussion. Make it as awkward as possible and refuse to hold up your end of the talky-bit.
3. Even worse, walk up WHILE THE WRITER IS WRITING and attempt to make awkward conversation.
4. Try to stare over the writer's shoulder to see what's on the screen. For extra points, ask her what she's writing.
5. For a billion bonus points, stare, ask, and then tell her all about the book you're going to write some day and ask for "pointers" or her agent's name.
6. Every so slightly block her way. Whether it's with your body, your stroller, or a grocery cart, make sure that she has to squint really hard to see if she can squeeze by. She'll be transfixed by the space issue, trying to gauge how much she can bump you and still manage to run away without making eye contact.
7. When she's staring intently into space or scribbling madly on the back of the receipt with the light of inspiration in her eyes, ask her something inane that you should know for yourself, such as the time or weather. When she mutters or shakes her head or holds up a desperate finger, ask louder.
8. Walk up to tell the writer that you didn't like her book. Tell her what was wrong with the characters and plot. Tell her what you would have done better or make suggestions for the next book.
9. Walk up with your laptop and stare at the full plug-in like the feverishly typing writer is suddenly going to unplug and walk away. When she doesn't, hover over her and ask something extremely wishy-washy, like "Can we switch?" or "Are you using that?" instead of just saying something refreshing like, "I know it's really annoying, but can I plug in for a minute?" When the writer is too flummoxed/busy to do more than mutter "Fine," unplug her cord, leave it on the floor, plug in your Mac, and proceed to have a really loud phone conversation while you surf the web for new shoes. (YES, THIS IS ODDLY SPECIFIC FOR A REASON, WOMAN WHO DID THIS TO ME YESTERDAY.)
10. If the writer's book launched more than one week ago, ask when her next book is out and insinuate that she's not working very hard/writing fast enough. Say something like, "Wow, a year? It takes you that long to write a book?" or "Huh. I guess your publisher doesn't think you had the chops for a tight schedule." Then tell the writer how many words per minute you type and how big your IDEAS folder is.
11. Ask if you can borrow a pen. When she says she only has one, don't give it back.
12. Ask her if she has any books with her. When she presents one, ask if you can have it. Don't offer to pay for it or ask her how much. for bonus points, open it up, crack the spine, and hand it back, saying you'll get it at the library or borrow it for Kindle.
*
Did I miss any?
September 4, 2012
lessons of the dragon
(That's me at the Vampire Diaries panel. Tiny Ian Somerhalder FTW!)
Things I Learned at my First Dragon*Con
1. No matter how big you think it is, it's so much bigger than that. Especially when you have 10 minutes to get from the Hyatt to the Westin for a panel while 500 zombies shamble down the street.
2. You never know who you're going to meet. My friend was trapped in an elevator with Sam from True Blood. I was on panels with Buffy's Amber Benson and one of my fav authors, Kate Cross. When the Writing Track offered to let me sit on the Heroines Among Us panel, I plunked myself right down by... Mercedes Lackey. Geeks are everywhere, and everyone I met was marvelous.
3. The kindness is almost overwhelming. From free Sun Chips and hummus from www.therandomact.org, to free protein bars, to marvelous volunteers, to friendly celebrities, to random strangers who smiled at my costume, my heart grew six sizes with geek love. When that many people are obsessed with that many fandoms, you can feel the joy in the air.
4. Always wear comfortable shoes. I rarely wear flats, but I vastly underestimated how much my very favorite boots would hurt after 12 hours on my feet. Next year, it's wedges all the way.
5. You will never see everything you want to see. Whether the panel of your dreams is already full-- like the Big Damn Heroes panel for Firefly-- or you can't be in two places at once, you're bound to have disappointments. I didn't see half the people I wanted to see. Sometimes, I barely had time to squee and hugattack someone before running off to my next panel. And I never even made it over to the Walk of Fame at the Hilton.
6. If you're on the fence about costuming, wear the damn costume. Dragon*Con is one of the few chances in your adult life to dress up in anything you want and not seem ridiculous. Trust me--whatever you are, there's going to be something weirder, more badly done, or more revealing. There were chicks wearing tutus and band-aids over their taitas. There were people in normal clothes wearing only a steampunk hat. There were people in full-on furry suits. Go crazy. You will be welcomed, and you'll probably make people smile.
7. Do the thing that scares you. You're in the elevator with a star? Say hello. The person next to you in line is wearing a shirt for your favorite show? Share the love. You want to take a picture of someone in a costume or just tell them they look great? DO IT. People are there because they want to be a part of it. You might make someone's day, or you might make a new friend. The only interactions I regret are the ones I didn't have.
8. Take cash into the vendor rooms. I gave myself $50 to spend, cash. Period. I bought two things I really wanted, and I'm really happy about it. (A bottle of Autumn Coolness perfume oil from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and a sugar skull belt purse, in case you're wondering. Plus a cup of Starbucks coffee = $50 exactly.)You can always take a card and look the vendor up online later, if you missed out.
9. Take more pictures than you think you should. One of my only regrets is that I didn't take more pictures. Since I was alone for two out of the three days, there was no one to take my picture, so I barely have any photos of myself or the amazing costumes that I saw.
10. Try to keep your hands free. I had so much more fun when I wasn't carrying anything. Belt bags, backpacks, deep pockets. Integrate carry space into your costume, if you must, or drop purchases off in your room.
11. Don't forget to eat. I did. After breakfast on Friday, I ate only a protein bar and half a stale pretzel. If I had had a drink, I would have passed out on the floor.
12. Make reservations this October to get a host hotel room for next year. We were originally at the W Midtown and magically snagged a room at the Hyatt two days before the con. BEST. MOVE. EVER. Being able to sneak up to your room to eat or switch shoes or do email is imperative. Having a home base made everything so much better.
13. Be prepared for wardrobe malfunctions. I had a little pouch with thread, needle, scissors, and safety pins ready. And I almost walked out of the bathroom with the classic saloon-girl-skirt-caught-in-the-fishnets gaff. When in doubt, ask someone if everything is in place before heading back out into the crowd.
14. If you plan to meet someone, set a time and place. I never saw the people with whom I agreed "I'll find you!" I did find the people who said "We'll be in this restaurant in the back right at 9pm." And decide ahead of time, as the phone signal was way spotty.
15. IF YOU'RE A GEEK WITHIN 4 HOURS OF ATLANTA, YOU NEED TO GO. I can't believe this was my first year. I had such an amazing time, and I'm having trouble re-acclimating to life without thousands of my geek brethren joyously squeeing around me. I'll definitely be back year.
And I'l be ready.
*
Things I Learned at my First Dragon*Con
1. No matter how big you think it is, it's so much bigger than that. Especially when you have 10 minutes to get from the Hyatt to the Westin for a panel while 500 zombies shamble down the street.
2. You never know who you're going to meet. My friend was trapped in an elevator with Sam from True Blood. I was on panels with Buffy's Amber Benson and one of my fav authors, Kate Cross. When the Writing Track offered to let me sit on the Heroines Among Us panel, I plunked myself right down by... Mercedes Lackey. Geeks are everywhere, and everyone I met was marvelous.
3. The kindness is almost overwhelming. From free Sun Chips and hummus from www.therandomact.org, to free protein bars, to marvelous volunteers, to friendly celebrities, to random strangers who smiled at my costume, my heart grew six sizes with geek love. When that many people are obsessed with that many fandoms, you can feel the joy in the air.
4. Always wear comfortable shoes. I rarely wear flats, but I vastly underestimated how much my very favorite boots would hurt after 12 hours on my feet. Next year, it's wedges all the way.
5. You will never see everything you want to see. Whether the panel of your dreams is already full-- like the Big Damn Heroes panel for Firefly-- or you can't be in two places at once, you're bound to have disappointments. I didn't see half the people I wanted to see. Sometimes, I barely had time to squee and hugattack someone before running off to my next panel. And I never even made it over to the Walk of Fame at the Hilton.
6. If you're on the fence about costuming, wear the damn costume. Dragon*Con is one of the few chances in your adult life to dress up in anything you want and not seem ridiculous. Trust me--whatever you are, there's going to be something weirder, more badly done, or more revealing. There were chicks wearing tutus and band-aids over their taitas. There were people in normal clothes wearing only a steampunk hat. There were people in full-on furry suits. Go crazy. You will be welcomed, and you'll probably make people smile.
7. Do the thing that scares you. You're in the elevator with a star? Say hello. The person next to you in line is wearing a shirt for your favorite show? Share the love. You want to take a picture of someone in a costume or just tell them they look great? DO IT. People are there because they want to be a part of it. You might make someone's day, or you might make a new friend. The only interactions I regret are the ones I didn't have.
8. Take cash into the vendor rooms. I gave myself $50 to spend, cash. Period. I bought two things I really wanted, and I'm really happy about it. (A bottle of Autumn Coolness perfume oil from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and a sugar skull belt purse, in case you're wondering. Plus a cup of Starbucks coffee = $50 exactly.)You can always take a card and look the vendor up online later, if you missed out.
9. Take more pictures than you think you should. One of my only regrets is that I didn't take more pictures. Since I was alone for two out of the three days, there was no one to take my picture, so I barely have any photos of myself or the amazing costumes that I saw.
10. Try to keep your hands free. I had so much more fun when I wasn't carrying anything. Belt bags, backpacks, deep pockets. Integrate carry space into your costume, if you must, or drop purchases off in your room.
11. Don't forget to eat. I did. After breakfast on Friday, I ate only a protein bar and half a stale pretzel. If I had had a drink, I would have passed out on the floor.
12. Make reservations this October to get a host hotel room for next year. We were originally at the W Midtown and magically snagged a room at the Hyatt two days before the con. BEST. MOVE. EVER. Being able to sneak up to your room to eat or switch shoes or do email is imperative. Having a home base made everything so much better.
13. Be prepared for wardrobe malfunctions. I had a little pouch with thread, needle, scissors, and safety pins ready. And I almost walked out of the bathroom with the classic saloon-girl-skirt-caught-in-the-fishnets gaff. When in doubt, ask someone if everything is in place before heading back out into the crowd.
14. If you plan to meet someone, set a time and place. I never saw the people with whom I agreed "I'll find you!" I did find the people who said "We'll be in this restaurant in the back right at 9pm." And decide ahead of time, as the phone signal was way spotty.
15. IF YOU'RE A GEEK WITHIN 4 HOURS OF ATLANTA, YOU NEED TO GO. I can't believe this was my first year. I had such an amazing time, and I'm having trouble re-acclimating to life without thousands of my geek brethren joyously squeeing around me. I'll definitely be back year.
And I'l be ready.
*
September 2, 2012
day 3 of Dragon*Con was all SQUEEEE
1. So this happened.
The Venture Bros. is probably my all-time favorite cartoon, so you can't imagine how excited I am in this photo. I mean, look how gummy that smile is! I also attended their panel and was able to ask a question that has been bothering me for years.
I mean... DUDE. I AM THE BAT.
2. I had a phenomenal panel called Laughing in the Graveyard with the Horror and Dark Fantasy Track. Sitting at a table with Kevin Anderson, J.F. Lewis, Amber Benson, and Jeanne Stein, answering insightful questions by amazing moderator Carol Malcolm... well, we're all going to Hell, but we're laughing all the way there.
3. I saw the Vampire Diaries panel and was within 10 feet of Ian Somerhalder. Rules of Attraction is one of my favorite movies, and I very nearly raised my hand and asked him to recreate the Faith scene
Over the past three days, I have met so many wonderful people, seen so many fantastic friends, seen so many amazing costumes, and eaten so much amazing mall sushi. My first Dragon*Con was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I have never felt so at home in a crowd, never been filled with such childlike joy at seeing the things I love celebrated.
To everyone who bought a book or showed up at a panel or even just smiled at me, THANK YOU. You made the weekend magical.
I think I probably need to sleep now.
*
The Venture Bros. is probably my all-time favorite cartoon, so you can't imagine how excited I am in this photo. I mean, look how gummy that smile is! I also attended their panel and was able to ask a question that has been bothering me for years.
I mean... DUDE. I AM THE BAT.
2. I had a phenomenal panel called Laughing in the Graveyard with the Horror and Dark Fantasy Track. Sitting at a table with Kevin Anderson, J.F. Lewis, Amber Benson, and Jeanne Stein, answering insightful questions by amazing moderator Carol Malcolm... well, we're all going to Hell, but we're laughing all the way there.
3. I saw the Vampire Diaries panel and was within 10 feet of Ian Somerhalder. Rules of Attraction is one of my favorite movies, and I very nearly raised my hand and asked him to recreate the Faith scene
Over the past three days, I have met so many wonderful people, seen so many fantastic friends, seen so many amazing costumes, and eaten so much amazing mall sushi. My first Dragon*Con was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I have never felt so at home in a crowd, never been filled with such childlike joy at seeing the things I love celebrated.
To everyone who bought a book or showed up at a panel or even just smiled at me, THANK YOU. You made the weekend magical.
I think I probably need to sleep now.
*
September 1, 2012
I survived my first day of Dragon*Con!
And it rocked.
I had a wand battle with Narcissa Malfoy. Because when a steampunk Ravenclaw is on a panel with a well-known Slytherin, things are bound to go bad. That's author Leanna Renee Hieber, by the way. We had an amazing time on the Frightening Folklore panel of the Horror and Dark Fantasy Track.
I got to feed a baby yeti a bottle of my own blood.
Okay, fine. Someone else's blood. But I covered these adorable Vamplets for Cool Mom Picks last year. It was cool to see them in person and meet their creators!
I couldn't stop staring at the lightsaber display. We've got at least six different lightsabers in our house, but we just can't resist more, especially when they're this shiny.
I liked the magenta one.
That's the Marriott, right there. It's the hotel where the cosplayers hang out, and it also houses the vendors. Now, I don't usually do well with big crowds, but I have never felt more at home among people-- probably because they're all geeks. Everyone's smiling, complimenting costumes, and radiating excitement.
That's my steampunk Ravenclaw costume. Note the amazing Hermione-esque bag made by my super-talented friend Stephanie. The hat is a tiny witch hat from the fabric store with some doodads glued on, including a glittery crow with a cog eye. I ended up turning my Ravenclaw tie into a wand holster, which was pretty handy for my duel with Narcissa. And I made sure to bring fans this year, as things get pretty hot in Atlanta in August when you're wearing twenty layers.
Other highlights of the day include:
* Seeing a dude dressed as Snape dressed as Neville's gran as a boggart. Priceless.
* Meeting Beth and the gang from BPAL and smelling fantastic smellies.
* Seeing all my Alt History peeps in their steampunk finery.
* Seeing all my authorly peeps. There's just no feeling better than hearing your name hollered across a crowded room from a bar full of StormTroopers.
* Meeting so, so many wonderful people. Kady Cross, Lia Habel, Stella Price, Jana Oliver, D.B. Jackson, Faith Hunter, Lucienne Diver, Daniel Sprinkle, Alethea Kontis, Leanna Renee Hieber, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, PJ Schneider, AL Davroe, Nancy Knight, and many more.
* Seeing Dr. Krog in the hotel lobby wearing a Freddy Krueger hat and smiling at me.
Conclusions: Dragon*Con is about as much fun as a geek can have.
Oh, and I've been added to a panel on the Writing Track:
8:30-9:30pm - Heroines Among Us - Hyatt - Embassy C
If you're here, I hope to see you! EXCELSIOR!
*
I had a wand battle with Narcissa Malfoy. Because when a steampunk Ravenclaw is on a panel with a well-known Slytherin, things are bound to go bad. That's author Leanna Renee Hieber, by the way. We had an amazing time on the Frightening Folklore panel of the Horror and Dark Fantasy Track.
I got to feed a baby yeti a bottle of my own blood.
Okay, fine. Someone else's blood. But I covered these adorable Vamplets for Cool Mom Picks last year. It was cool to see them in person and meet their creators!
I couldn't stop staring at the lightsaber display. We've got at least six different lightsabers in our house, but we just can't resist more, especially when they're this shiny.
I liked the magenta one.
That's the Marriott, right there. It's the hotel where the cosplayers hang out, and it also houses the vendors. Now, I don't usually do well with big crowds, but I have never felt more at home among people-- probably because they're all geeks. Everyone's smiling, complimenting costumes, and radiating excitement.
That's my steampunk Ravenclaw costume. Note the amazing Hermione-esque bag made by my super-talented friend Stephanie. The hat is a tiny witch hat from the fabric store with some doodads glued on, including a glittery crow with a cog eye. I ended up turning my Ravenclaw tie into a wand holster, which was pretty handy for my duel with Narcissa. And I made sure to bring fans this year, as things get pretty hot in Atlanta in August when you're wearing twenty layers.
Other highlights of the day include:
* Seeing a dude dressed as Snape dressed as Neville's gran as a boggart. Priceless.
* Meeting Beth and the gang from BPAL and smelling fantastic smellies.
* Seeing all my Alt History peeps in their steampunk finery.
* Seeing all my authorly peeps. There's just no feeling better than hearing your name hollered across a crowded room from a bar full of StormTroopers.
* Meeting so, so many wonderful people. Kady Cross, Lia Habel, Stella Price, Jana Oliver, D.B. Jackson, Faith Hunter, Lucienne Diver, Daniel Sprinkle, Alethea Kontis, Leanna Renee Hieber, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro, PJ Schneider, AL Davroe, Nancy Knight, and many more.
* Seeing Dr. Krog in the hotel lobby wearing a Freddy Krueger hat and smiling at me.
Conclusions: Dragon*Con is about as much fun as a geek can have.
Oh, and I've been added to a panel on the Writing Track:
8:30-9:30pm - Heroines Among Us - Hyatt - Embassy C
If you're here, I hope to see you! EXCELSIOR!
*
August 28, 2012
10 reasons to date a geek
I'm on full-speed Dragon*Con mode, and I can't help thinking about how pleasant it is being married to a fellow geek. If I were dating, I think I would just put on a Firefly or Star Wars shirt and go to a book store and sit there, looking hopeful, because geeks are where it's at. Here's why.
1. Whenever someone says the words TWO WEEKS, you meet each other's eyes and giggle.
2. IT'S A FRAP! and IT'S THE GAP! never get old.
3. "And then I had to go all Zoidberg on him" covers so many bases.
4. You always know who you'll be sitting with at the next movie based on superheroes.
5. Someone always has a tissue ready at the next Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings movie.
6. When you say, "I just want to stay home and read in bed", they're all OMG, ME, TOO!
7. When the doorbell rings, you both hide in fear that it might be a human being. When you see that it's a box from Amazon, you can run downstairs joyously, shouting ERMAHGERD, BERKS!
8. Neither of you knew what a Snooki was until you saw it on South Park, and you're still not sure what a Kardashian is, except that you heard Abed talk about it on Community.
9. Everyone knows every line to Team Unicorn's G33k and Gamer Girlz but not a single word to Katy Perry's California Girlz.
10. You never have to worry about overly detailed Halloween costumes or being too enthusiastic or being weirdly obsessed with math/Rover/puppets or hanging out in the toy aisle of Target or reading an entire book series in a weekend or watching Firefly straight through while eating order-in Chinese because everyone understands that geekery is about celebrating and embracing the non-mainstream things you love.
*
Anybody else going to geek out at Dragon*Con?
1. Whenever someone says the words TWO WEEKS, you meet each other's eyes and giggle.
2. IT'S A FRAP! and IT'S THE GAP! never get old.
3. "And then I had to go all Zoidberg on him" covers so many bases.
4. You always know who you'll be sitting with at the next movie based on superheroes.
5. Someone always has a tissue ready at the next Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings movie.
6. When you say, "I just want to stay home and read in bed", they're all OMG, ME, TOO!
7. When the doorbell rings, you both hide in fear that it might be a human being. When you see that it's a box from Amazon, you can run downstairs joyously, shouting ERMAHGERD, BERKS!
8. Neither of you knew what a Snooki was until you saw it on South Park, and you're still not sure what a Kardashian is, except that you heard Abed talk about it on Community.
9. Everyone knows every line to Team Unicorn's G33k and Gamer Girlz but not a single word to Katy Perry's California Girlz.
10. You never have to worry about overly detailed Halloween costumes or being too enthusiastic or being weirdly obsessed with math/Rover/puppets or hanging out in the toy aisle of Target or reading an entire book series in a weekend or watching Firefly straight through while eating order-in Chinese because everyone understands that geekery is about celebrating and embracing the non-mainstream things you love.
*
Anybody else going to geek out at Dragon*Con?
August 24, 2012
a rant: what makes you beautiful?
I'm going to quote the lyrics of two songs I heard while driving this morning. If you will, indulge me and read them. Singing along and bopping your head are optional.
Just leave with me now. Say the word and we’ll goI’ll be your teacher. Ill show you the ropesYou’ll see a side of love you’ve never knownI can see it going down, going down
In my head, I see you all over meIn my head, you fulfill my fantasy (my head)You’ll be screaming no (my head)In my head, its going down (my head)its going down (my head)In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah(by Jason Derulo)
*
If only you saw what I can seeYou'll understand why I want you so desperatelyRight now I'm looking at you and I can't believeYou don't knowOh ohYou don't know you're beautifulOh ohThat what makes you beautiful(by One Direction)
*
Do those two snippets make anyone else FURIOUS?
Let's ignore the singer, the genre, and the music. Let's forget that both songs can easily get stuck in your head all day. The tunes are undeniably catchy--that's why they're on the radio constantly.
The problem, for me, is the words.
The first song assumes the girl is naive and ignorant, and that the singer is going to teach her everything she needs to know, which apparently includes fulfilling his fantasy, going down, and screaming no.
Think about that for a second.
The singer is saying, right there, that he's going to make a girl scream NO. Like that's a good thing.
He's saying that her function is to fulfill his fantasy. And that "a side of love (she's) never known" mainly involves being the object of his fantasy. That song doesn't say a single thing about what *she* wants, about her needs or dreams. Just his.
And then you get to the next song, which is even newer and more unavoidable. If your kids listen to the radio, it's impossible to miss. They even play it in the mall. And the main thrust of the song is that the girl in question is lovable because she doesn't know she's beautiful. That what makes her attractive is her insecurity and weakness. That he's totally turned on by her good looks, but what really gets him off is that she doesn't know how beautiful she is.
Sweet baby jebus, what kind of damaged waifs are our girls supposed to be, to appeal to mainstream boys? Beautiful, but can't be aware of it. Naive. Willing to learn. Willing to be the man's fantasy. And this is what we're pumping into the airwaves: the message that knowing your own value is unattractive.
Now, I'm sure that if I spent an entire day listening to the pop station, I could find hundreds of lyrics about what makes a woman attractive. And I bet the only ones that involve women being strong, independent, brave, or "wrong in all the right ways" are written by... WOMEN. And it makes me so, so angry. That our society's music is used as a weapon against the female psyche, reinforcing younger and younger that the woman's self-confidence is negligible and that if she wants to be loved, she needs to be whatever the man wants.
And I bet you can guess where I'm going with this topic. I'm not going to get into politics, but I will say that women are currently being sent a very pointed message, and I will respond at the polls. I can't be surprised that the old, rich men who make the laws would benefit by keeping women just as insecure, quiet, and objectified as possible. Let the men make the rules. Let the men decide what you need to be, what's best for you. Don't define or enjoy your own sexuality; just be the man's fantasy. And in this case, the man's fantasy is that we'll be shamed or cowed into letting them take control of our rights.
Just shut your pretty mouth. The men will show us the ropes.
Guess what, guys who want an insecure woman who knows her place?
Screw y'all.
I'm not that kind of girl. And I'm not going to raise that kind of girl.
My next book is about a powerful woman claiming what's hers. She's willing to do whatever it takes to save her family and her country. Along the way, she falls for an equally strong man who loves her ferocity and supports her endeavors. May we all find a man like that, a man whose fantasy is a woman at the height of her powers who doesn't need anyone's permission to kick ass.
May we all be that woman.
*
Just leave with me now. Say the word and we’ll goI’ll be your teacher. Ill show you the ropesYou’ll see a side of love you’ve never knownI can see it going down, going down
In my head, I see you all over meIn my head, you fulfill my fantasy (my head)You’ll be screaming no (my head)In my head, its going down (my head)its going down (my head)In my head. Yeah. In my head. Oh yeah(by Jason Derulo)
*
If only you saw what I can seeYou'll understand why I want you so desperatelyRight now I'm looking at you and I can't believeYou don't knowOh ohYou don't know you're beautifulOh ohThat what makes you beautiful(by One Direction)
*
Do those two snippets make anyone else FURIOUS?
Let's ignore the singer, the genre, and the music. Let's forget that both songs can easily get stuck in your head all day. The tunes are undeniably catchy--that's why they're on the radio constantly.
The problem, for me, is the words.
The first song assumes the girl is naive and ignorant, and that the singer is going to teach her everything she needs to know, which apparently includes fulfilling his fantasy, going down, and screaming no.
Think about that for a second.
The singer is saying, right there, that he's going to make a girl scream NO. Like that's a good thing.
He's saying that her function is to fulfill his fantasy. And that "a side of love (she's) never known" mainly involves being the object of his fantasy. That song doesn't say a single thing about what *she* wants, about her needs or dreams. Just his.
And then you get to the next song, which is even newer and more unavoidable. If your kids listen to the radio, it's impossible to miss. They even play it in the mall. And the main thrust of the song is that the girl in question is lovable because she doesn't know she's beautiful. That what makes her attractive is her insecurity and weakness. That he's totally turned on by her good looks, but what really gets him off is that she doesn't know how beautiful she is.
Sweet baby jebus, what kind of damaged waifs are our girls supposed to be, to appeal to mainstream boys? Beautiful, but can't be aware of it. Naive. Willing to learn. Willing to be the man's fantasy. And this is what we're pumping into the airwaves: the message that knowing your own value is unattractive.
Now, I'm sure that if I spent an entire day listening to the pop station, I could find hundreds of lyrics about what makes a woman attractive. And I bet the only ones that involve women being strong, independent, brave, or "wrong in all the right ways" are written by... WOMEN. And it makes me so, so angry. That our society's music is used as a weapon against the female psyche, reinforcing younger and younger that the woman's self-confidence is negligible and that if she wants to be loved, she needs to be whatever the man wants.
And I bet you can guess where I'm going with this topic. I'm not going to get into politics, but I will say that women are currently being sent a very pointed message, and I will respond at the polls. I can't be surprised that the old, rich men who make the laws would benefit by keeping women just as insecure, quiet, and objectified as possible. Let the men make the rules. Let the men decide what you need to be, what's best for you. Don't define or enjoy your own sexuality; just be the man's fantasy. And in this case, the man's fantasy is that we'll be shamed or cowed into letting them take control of our rights.
Just shut your pretty mouth. The men will show us the ropes.
Guess what, guys who want an insecure woman who knows her place?
Screw y'all.
I'm not that kind of girl. And I'm not going to raise that kind of girl.
My next book is about a powerful woman claiming what's hers. She's willing to do whatever it takes to save her family and her country. Along the way, she falls for an equally strong man who loves her ferocity and supports her endeavors. May we all find a man like that, a man whose fantasy is a woman at the height of her powers who doesn't need anyone's permission to kick ass.
May we all be that woman.
*
August 22, 2012
old dog; new tricks
True fact: my cell is a 2005 Samsung flip phone.
No camera. No internet. Pay-as-you-go, and I go rather slow.
But for the next two weeks, I get to try out an HTC One smartphone. I've never actually used one before, unless you count that panic attack I had once when Dr. Krog asked me to look up movie times using his thingy and I accidentally made it commit suicide. Or maybe it just ran out of batteries. But now, my challenge is to master this machine, 80s-montage-style, in time to mad-thumb tweets with pics during Dragon*Con.
My brain; it hurts.
I haven't tried to learn anything entirely new in a long time. Even writing books was just an extension of the poetry, reviews, and ad copy I've been barfing out for years. I'm sure most people didn't have this 0 to 60 period with technology, too. The rest of the world probably went from a flat phone to a flip phone to a flip with a camera to... um... Australopithecus Africanis... to an iThing. But I feel like a clumsy child, trying to maneuver in an entirely new world for which my sausage-fingers are ill-suited.
For example, fumblefingers mistyped her husband's number today and sent some ridiculous text messages to the wrong person. I had no clue until she explained she was a girl, and one without a goofy wife. Oops.
And I just now learned that I could edit photos! On the camera! And then tweet them!
For example, here's an exciting pic of Delilah's Home for Mistreated Toys:
And here's one of my steampunk pirate costume, but with the flash, because my arms aren't long enough to take a decent picture of myself:
At first, I didn't understand the big deal about a phone that contained your music, games, emails, internet, camera, video camera, and... um... phoney stuff. But then I was sitting in the Target parking lot, and the email I'd been waiting on arrived, and I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD.
This is the most instantly of instant gratification. Everything I need IS RIGHT HERE.
Let's just hope I don't get too attached.
*
No camera. No internet. Pay-as-you-go, and I go rather slow.
But for the next two weeks, I get to try out an HTC One smartphone. I've never actually used one before, unless you count that panic attack I had once when Dr. Krog asked me to look up movie times using his thingy and I accidentally made it commit suicide. Or maybe it just ran out of batteries. But now, my challenge is to master this machine, 80s-montage-style, in time to mad-thumb tweets with pics during Dragon*Con.
My brain; it hurts.
I haven't tried to learn anything entirely new in a long time. Even writing books was just an extension of the poetry, reviews, and ad copy I've been barfing out for years. I'm sure most people didn't have this 0 to 60 period with technology, too. The rest of the world probably went from a flat phone to a flip phone to a flip with a camera to... um... Australopithecus Africanis... to an iThing. But I feel like a clumsy child, trying to maneuver in an entirely new world for which my sausage-fingers are ill-suited.
For example, fumblefingers mistyped her husband's number today and sent some ridiculous text messages to the wrong person. I had no clue until she explained she was a girl, and one without a goofy wife. Oops.
And I just now learned that I could edit photos! On the camera! And then tweet them!
For example, here's an exciting pic of Delilah's Home for Mistreated Toys:
And here's one of my steampunk pirate costume, but with the flash, because my arms aren't long enough to take a decent picture of myself:
At first, I didn't understand the big deal about a phone that contained your music, games, emails, internet, camera, video camera, and... um... phoney stuff. But then I was sitting in the Target parking lot, and the email I'd been waiting on arrived, and I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD.
This is the most instantly of instant gratification. Everything I need IS RIGHT HERE.
Let's just hope I don't get too attached.
*
up soon: DRAGON*CON!
Next Friday through Sunday, August 31 through September 2, I'll be at DRAGON*CON for the first time.
Those are preview of two of the three costumes I have planned: steampunk pirate (top), steampunk Ravenclaw (bottom), steampunk Little Red Riding Hood (unpictured). It's going to be strange, having one of the more sedate costumes in a large group.
If you're going to be there, here's where you can find me:
Friday, 8/31 11:30am - 12:30pm Steampunk in the Classroom (YA)
Friday, 8/31, 1-2pm The Abundant World of Alternate History (Alt History)
Friday, 8/31, 5:30-6:30 - Laughing in the Graveyard (Horror & Dark Fantasy)
Saturday, 9/1 1-2pm The Steampunk Author Roundtable, Part 1 (Alt History)
Saturday, 9/1 10-11pm Steamy Steampunk, Paranormal Romance, and More
Sunday, 9/2, 7-8pm - Frightening Folklore (Horror & Dark Fantasy)
If you don't see my name listed in your program, fear not! As I don't have official Guest status, I might not be shown. But I'll be there! As I haven't been to D*C before, I'm not sure where I'll be hanging out in the in-betweens. I hear the Alt History crowd chills at the Westin, and I also have grave interest in books, Venture Bros., Firefly, and Star Wars. It's going to be... busy.
I'll also be live-tweeting the experience, with pictures and possible video, from the HTC One smartphone I'll be trying out for Cool Mom Tech. Follow me at @DelilahSDawson, and we'll be all twittery together. I'll also have WICKED AS THEY COME bookmarks, Moo cards with all 3 available book covers, and Sharpies, should you wish to have your boobs (or whatever) signed.
LET'S GET OUR STEAMPUNK DRAGON ON, Y'ALL!
*
Those are preview of two of the three costumes I have planned: steampunk pirate (top), steampunk Ravenclaw (bottom), steampunk Little Red Riding Hood (unpictured). It's going to be strange, having one of the more sedate costumes in a large group.
If you're going to be there, here's where you can find me:
Friday, 8/31 11:30am - 12:30pm Steampunk in the Classroom (YA)
Friday, 8/31, 1-2pm The Abundant World of Alternate History (Alt History)
Friday, 8/31, 5:30-6:30 - Laughing in the Graveyard (Horror & Dark Fantasy)
Saturday, 9/1 1-2pm The Steampunk Author Roundtable, Part 1 (Alt History)
Saturday, 9/1 10-11pm Steamy Steampunk, Paranormal Romance, and More
Sunday, 9/2, 7-8pm - Frightening Folklore (Horror & Dark Fantasy)
If you don't see my name listed in your program, fear not! As I don't have official Guest status, I might not be shown. But I'll be there! As I haven't been to D*C before, I'm not sure where I'll be hanging out in the in-betweens. I hear the Alt History crowd chills at the Westin, and I also have grave interest in books, Venture Bros., Firefly, and Star Wars. It's going to be... busy.
I'll also be live-tweeting the experience, with pictures and possible video, from the HTC One smartphone I'll be trying out for Cool Mom Tech. Follow me at @DelilahSDawson, and we'll be all twittery together. I'll also have WICKED AS THEY COME bookmarks, Moo cards with all 3 available book covers, and Sharpies, should you wish to have your boobs (or whatever) signed.
LET'S GET OUR STEAMPUNK DRAGON ON, Y'ALL!
*
August 20, 2012
what are we reading?
On my Currently Reading pile:
* BLOOD AND SILVER by James R. Tuck
* GRAVE DANCE by Kalayna Price
* RED HOOD'S REVENGE by Jim C. Hines
On my To Be Read pile:
* RIVETED by Meljean Brook
* BLACKBIRDS by Chuck Wendig
* THE SUMMER OF FIRSTS AND LAST by Terra McAvoy
* DREADNOUGHT by Cherie Priest
On my Recently Read Pile:
*DEADLOCKED by Charlaine Harris
*GRAVE DANCE by Kalayna Price
*FANTASY LOVER and DANCE WITH THE DEVIL by Sherrilyn Kenyon
And some recommendations for you:
If you like THE HUNGER GAMES, try:
* BATTLE ROYALE by Koushon Takami
* INSURGENT by Veronica Roth
* UNDER THE NEVER SKY by Veronica Rossi
* WITHER by Lauren DeStefano
* SHATTER ME by Tahereh Mafi
If you like TWILIGHT, try:
* CITY OF BONES and the entire MORTAL INSTRUMENTS series by Cassandra Clare
* FEVER and the WOLVES OF MERCY FALLS series by Maggie Stiefvater
* DEAD UNTIL DARK and the SOOKIE STACKHOUSE books by Charlaine Harris
Anybody reading something good or looking for a recommendation?
*
August 17, 2012
on depression
Depression is a nosy neighbor that sneaks in the back door, uninvited.
There is nothing wrong. Nothing. You can't complain. You can't put your finger on it. There's no machine to rage against. And yet everything is annoying, everything slightly chafes. You want to connect with people, but you can't. They say the wrong things, even when they're trying to say the right things. You wait for the phone to ring, and when it does, you don't answer it. When it's sunny, you hide behind dark curtains. When it's raining, you wish you could escape the pervasive hammering of raindrops, the feeling that if it keeps raining like that, the house will begin to leak and fall apart. You keep waiting for things to break, for anything to break, for the moment when something gives you an excuse to cry, because that would feel better than waiting to cry.
You get angry with yourself. This feeling is stupid. It's fleeting, self-indulgent, meaningless. There is, you repeat, nothing wrong. You hurt, but you can't pinpoint where or why. You think you might be starting to get sick, but maybe you just can't breathe properly. Your stomach hurts, but you don't know why. Maybe it was that salad you ate, except you haven't eaten salad, because you keep forgetting to eat. You wait all day to go to bed and sleep, but when the time actually comes, sleep retreats, just out of reach, as far away as the stars that you've forgotten to look at because you don't want to go outside.
You get caught in loops. The same websites. The same songs. The same pajama pants for days on end. You try to remember what you had for dinner last night. You try to remember the last time you felt joy. The laundry piles up in endless cycles that seem meaningless until you're out of something you need. Dust dances in sunbeams, but instead of dusting, you close the curtains.
That's the thing about depression, dark patches, bad days-- they defy reason. They can last five minutes or five years. You are smart enough to know that none of it matters, that it's totally ridiculous. You know that it's chemical, or hormonal, or part of your cycle as a human or an artist, but that doesn't stop it from dragging you down into paralysis. That doesn't stop it from hurting. That doesn't stop the thick knot in your chest that steals your breath and words. And so you keep trudging through, taking care of everyone, doing what you have to do, hitting your deadlines. But inside, you're just a sucking, infected wound that never quite heals.
The bad news: depression happens in a place no one else can see.
The good news: It will get better.
*
There is nothing wrong. Nothing. You can't complain. You can't put your finger on it. There's no machine to rage against. And yet everything is annoying, everything slightly chafes. You want to connect with people, but you can't. They say the wrong things, even when they're trying to say the right things. You wait for the phone to ring, and when it does, you don't answer it. When it's sunny, you hide behind dark curtains. When it's raining, you wish you could escape the pervasive hammering of raindrops, the feeling that if it keeps raining like that, the house will begin to leak and fall apart. You keep waiting for things to break, for anything to break, for the moment when something gives you an excuse to cry, because that would feel better than waiting to cry.
You get angry with yourself. This feeling is stupid. It's fleeting, self-indulgent, meaningless. There is, you repeat, nothing wrong. You hurt, but you can't pinpoint where or why. You think you might be starting to get sick, but maybe you just can't breathe properly. Your stomach hurts, but you don't know why. Maybe it was that salad you ate, except you haven't eaten salad, because you keep forgetting to eat. You wait all day to go to bed and sleep, but when the time actually comes, sleep retreats, just out of reach, as far away as the stars that you've forgotten to look at because you don't want to go outside.
You get caught in loops. The same websites. The same songs. The same pajama pants for days on end. You try to remember what you had for dinner last night. You try to remember the last time you felt joy. The laundry piles up in endless cycles that seem meaningless until you're out of something you need. Dust dances in sunbeams, but instead of dusting, you close the curtains.
That's the thing about depression, dark patches, bad days-- they defy reason. They can last five minutes or five years. You are smart enough to know that none of it matters, that it's totally ridiculous. You know that it's chemical, or hormonal, or part of your cycle as a human or an artist, but that doesn't stop it from dragging you down into paralysis. That doesn't stop it from hurting. That doesn't stop the thick knot in your chest that steals your breath and words. And so you keep trudging through, taking care of everyone, doing what you have to do, hitting your deadlines. But inside, you're just a sucking, infected wound that never quite heals.
The bad news: depression happens in a place no one else can see.
The good news: It will get better.
*
