Delilah S. Dawson's Blog, page 25
October 10, 2012
I am a dangerous woman.
How I spent my morning.
Any guesses regarding the weapon of choice?
*
October 8, 2012
The Manic Pixie Dream Girl and the Stoic Warrior Poet
After reading this article on Cracked breaking down the reasons that Zooey Deschanel might be beautiful and adorable but is definitely not awkward or geeky, I couldn't help contemplating how the trope of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl presents in men.
As I see it, the MPDG is the 21st century version of a muse. She's gorgeous but quirky, insightful but childlike, and never, ever sticks around for the happily ever after--aka, long enough to get boring/quotidian. She appears in the life of a guy who's either mid-crisis or floundering or half-asleep and shakes him out of his doldrums with her beautiful eccentricity. She leaves him changed and bittersweet in a way that allows the real, true Woman to walk in the door at just the right time.
In short, she's an object, a creature of male fantasy, a vehicle to something better. Her function is to awaken the sleeper.
So what I want to know is: what is the male version of the MPDG?
Because I'm pretty sure that a dude with all of these qualities would not have the same appeal to women. For example, remember Duckie from Pretty in Pink? He was cute, quirky, intelligent, fearless, filled with love and possibility and tenacity. And although women everywhere swore he was adorable, no one ever called him sexy. Or swoony. Or handsome.
He was fun. Sweet. Cute.
These words? Are romance doom.
No one gets a fire in their loins for cute. Even Molly Ringworm chose the smoldering, standoffish, rich dude. No matter what they say, I don't think that, subconsciously, women want to be worshiped like that. They want to be chased like wobbly dibatags by lions with soft paws hidden under extendable claws.
So although your mileage my vary and different strokes for different folks and please don't attack Delilah for averring something, I believe that the male version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is the Stoic Warrior Poet, sometimes known as the Sparkly Vampire Manboy.
If the idea of this trope is to shake up a person's status quo and make them feel more alive so that they're more open to leveling up as a human being, a woman's biology simply isn't programmed to swoon for a Manic Elfin Dream Boy, a skinny little Ducky or Doctor Who. In her churning cesspit of pheremones, a woman craves a cave man, a beast, a man who will protect her and be entirely competent when it comes to helping her and her offspring survive. But in our world, when any doof in flip-flops can go to WalMart for a steak, our brains tend to forget about that part and lead us to guys who make great friends and loving fathers. And thence, I believe, many women are missing something they crave, deep down, but aren't always aware of.
So our hormones and instincts want a cave man. Fine. But our hearts want romance and poetry and pretty words and soulful eyes, not being raped from the behind in an alley. So these two basic desires are really difficult to come by... because they're entirely opposite. When a man's dinosaur brain wants a fertile woman, that need is expressed by eyes that rove to boobs and butts and facial symmetry-- things that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl has, because she's *always* gorgeous. Add in some intelligence, quirk, and an ability to swig beer and make insightful comments on whatever game or band the guy also likes and you've got your MPDG.
But while a woman's dinosaur brain wants to be protected and carry viable offspring, she doesn't actually *want* to be an object of lust solely for her body. She wants to be respected, understood, adored. She wants power and equality in the relationship. Or so she thinks. Because if there's one thing the men of romance books and movies show, it's that women really dig 100% confident guys who kill things. And that's where Edward, Christian, James Bond, Tony Stark, Khal Drogo, and the dude from Desperado come in. They'll kill something that's trying to hurt you, throw you against the wall for a smoldering interlude, and then write a song about it.
Boom. All your needs, met. And they all have money to take care of you, should that interlude actually satisfy nature's urge and produce the children his dinosaur brain wants and his dude-groin fears. Stoic Warrior Poet always comes with built-in monetary security. Don't worry your pretty little head.
And yet all these characters have an unnatural sensitivity that goes against their forceful nature and allows women to accept all the bad things they do. Edward and Christian (whom some posit as the same person, really) are creepy-ass, super-rich stalkers with man-boy issues, but they play the piano and express their tenderness through twisted acts of physical and emotional tenderness. Khal Drogo, Desperado, and James Bond are basically murderous savages who draw their women into their worlds, hardening them and strengthening them like an annealed blade. Tony Stark is a billionaire genius playboy philanthropist, and yet one woman is able to cancel out the playboy part. Because she's simply that special.
The point is that these guys? They change in one way only: by loving a sensitive woman, they open like barb-wire flowers in one small area of tenderness, but on the whole, they stay the same. Their stability as a trope allows their women to change, to become strong and fearless in a way that your average stay-at-home-mom can't. These dudes are a springboard to awaken women to the passion they've forgotten, repressed, or lost.
Basically, the Stoic Warrior Poet awakens the woman with near-forceful passion that rides the line between rape and acceptance with a precision that's hard to duplicate in real life.
If you sit in a bar and watch human behavior as the flaneur, Wild Kingdom style, the dance is beautiful and fascinating. I was in a bar last weekend and couldn't figure out why so many pretty, dude-seeking girls were wearing dork glasses, tights, flats, high-waisted pants, or tent-shaped dresses, which seems like the equivalent of trying to catch fish with packets of used cat litter. And then I read the Cracked article today and realized that women are actively trying to emulate the Manic Pixie Dream Girl style. That they *want* to be that muse, that adorkable fawn of a girl who dances in and garners every eye, but not because she's a vapid bitch in a skin-tight dress. Because she has some interior magic that makes her special. And I think that some guys are starting to catch on to a more traditional expression of masculinity, Mad Men-style. I still don't understand the hipster boys, though.
And of course, the interesting part is that the few lucky people who function as Stoic Warrior Poets or Manic Pixie Dream Girls in real life naturally attract the opposite sex with a fearful magnetism. You can't fake this shit, to be honest. Zooey Deschanel isn't adorkable; she's beautiful and knows exactly what she's doing. In the movies, it's easy to craft a character who serves as a journey instead of a destination, a conveyance instead of a living, breathing person. But in real life, each angle of the trope must be met 100% or the approach will appear disingenuous and lopsided. And, honestly, kind of lame.
Either you've got it, or you don't, and halfway only counts in horse shoes and NaNoWriMo.
So, in conclusion, instead of dreaming of these fairy-tale concoctions of impossible people waking us up from our everyday lives, let's just set our damn alarms and put in the work. Sitting in a bar, watching people wearing wedding rings chat with eyes ablaze, all I could think was that finding a MPDG or SWP is a lot like standing at the edge of a cliff. It's exciting. It's dizzying. You get a trill in the pit of your stomach. And right after you jump off the cliff, it would be really, super-awesome-fun for the first five seconds. But, eventually, you're going to splatter against the rocks far below.
There's a reason that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl dances right back out of your life.
She's supposed to.
*
Thoughts? On anything? Please share. I'm just making this stuff up, you know.
*
As I see it, the MPDG is the 21st century version of a muse. She's gorgeous but quirky, insightful but childlike, and never, ever sticks around for the happily ever after--aka, long enough to get boring/quotidian. She appears in the life of a guy who's either mid-crisis or floundering or half-asleep and shakes him out of his doldrums with her beautiful eccentricity. She leaves him changed and bittersweet in a way that allows the real, true Woman to walk in the door at just the right time.
In short, she's an object, a creature of male fantasy, a vehicle to something better. Her function is to awaken the sleeper.
So what I want to know is: what is the male version of the MPDG?
Because I'm pretty sure that a dude with all of these qualities would not have the same appeal to women. For example, remember Duckie from Pretty in Pink? He was cute, quirky, intelligent, fearless, filled with love and possibility and tenacity. And although women everywhere swore he was adorable, no one ever called him sexy. Or swoony. Or handsome.
He was fun. Sweet. Cute.
These words? Are romance doom.
No one gets a fire in their loins for cute. Even Molly Ringworm chose the smoldering, standoffish, rich dude. No matter what they say, I don't think that, subconsciously, women want to be worshiped like that. They want to be chased like wobbly dibatags by lions with soft paws hidden under extendable claws.
So although your mileage my vary and different strokes for different folks and please don't attack Delilah for averring something, I believe that the male version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is the Stoic Warrior Poet, sometimes known as the Sparkly Vampire Manboy.
If the idea of this trope is to shake up a person's status quo and make them feel more alive so that they're more open to leveling up as a human being, a woman's biology simply isn't programmed to swoon for a Manic Elfin Dream Boy, a skinny little Ducky or Doctor Who. In her churning cesspit of pheremones, a woman craves a cave man, a beast, a man who will protect her and be entirely competent when it comes to helping her and her offspring survive. But in our world, when any doof in flip-flops can go to WalMart for a steak, our brains tend to forget about that part and lead us to guys who make great friends and loving fathers. And thence, I believe, many women are missing something they crave, deep down, but aren't always aware of.
So our hormones and instincts want a cave man. Fine. But our hearts want romance and poetry and pretty words and soulful eyes, not being raped from the behind in an alley. So these two basic desires are really difficult to come by... because they're entirely opposite. When a man's dinosaur brain wants a fertile woman, that need is expressed by eyes that rove to boobs and butts and facial symmetry-- things that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl has, because she's *always* gorgeous. Add in some intelligence, quirk, and an ability to swig beer and make insightful comments on whatever game or band the guy also likes and you've got your MPDG.
But while a woman's dinosaur brain wants to be protected and carry viable offspring, she doesn't actually *want* to be an object of lust solely for her body. She wants to be respected, understood, adored. She wants power and equality in the relationship. Or so she thinks. Because if there's one thing the men of romance books and movies show, it's that women really dig 100% confident guys who kill things. And that's where Edward, Christian, James Bond, Tony Stark, Khal Drogo, and the dude from Desperado come in. They'll kill something that's trying to hurt you, throw you against the wall for a smoldering interlude, and then write a song about it.
Boom. All your needs, met. And they all have money to take care of you, should that interlude actually satisfy nature's urge and produce the children his dinosaur brain wants and his dude-groin fears. Stoic Warrior Poet always comes with built-in monetary security. Don't worry your pretty little head.
And yet all these characters have an unnatural sensitivity that goes against their forceful nature and allows women to accept all the bad things they do. Edward and Christian (whom some posit as the same person, really) are creepy-ass, super-rich stalkers with man-boy issues, but they play the piano and express their tenderness through twisted acts of physical and emotional tenderness. Khal Drogo, Desperado, and James Bond are basically murderous savages who draw their women into their worlds, hardening them and strengthening them like an annealed blade. Tony Stark is a billionaire genius playboy philanthropist, and yet one woman is able to cancel out the playboy part. Because she's simply that special.
The point is that these guys? They change in one way only: by loving a sensitive woman, they open like barb-wire flowers in one small area of tenderness, but on the whole, they stay the same. Their stability as a trope allows their women to change, to become strong and fearless in a way that your average stay-at-home-mom can't. These dudes are a springboard to awaken women to the passion they've forgotten, repressed, or lost.
Basically, the Stoic Warrior Poet awakens the woman with near-forceful passion that rides the line between rape and acceptance with a precision that's hard to duplicate in real life.
If you sit in a bar and watch human behavior as the flaneur, Wild Kingdom style, the dance is beautiful and fascinating. I was in a bar last weekend and couldn't figure out why so many pretty, dude-seeking girls were wearing dork glasses, tights, flats, high-waisted pants, or tent-shaped dresses, which seems like the equivalent of trying to catch fish with packets of used cat litter. And then I read the Cracked article today and realized that women are actively trying to emulate the Manic Pixie Dream Girl style. That they *want* to be that muse, that adorkable fawn of a girl who dances in and garners every eye, but not because she's a vapid bitch in a skin-tight dress. Because she has some interior magic that makes her special. And I think that some guys are starting to catch on to a more traditional expression of masculinity, Mad Men-style. I still don't understand the hipster boys, though.
And of course, the interesting part is that the few lucky people who function as Stoic Warrior Poets or Manic Pixie Dream Girls in real life naturally attract the opposite sex with a fearful magnetism. You can't fake this shit, to be honest. Zooey Deschanel isn't adorkable; she's beautiful and knows exactly what she's doing. In the movies, it's easy to craft a character who serves as a journey instead of a destination, a conveyance instead of a living, breathing person. But in real life, each angle of the trope must be met 100% or the approach will appear disingenuous and lopsided. And, honestly, kind of lame.
Either you've got it, or you don't, and halfway only counts in horse shoes and NaNoWriMo.
So, in conclusion, instead of dreaming of these fairy-tale concoctions of impossible people waking us up from our everyday lives, let's just set our damn alarms and put in the work. Sitting in a bar, watching people wearing wedding rings chat with eyes ablaze, all I could think was that finding a MPDG or SWP is a lot like standing at the edge of a cliff. It's exciting. It's dizzying. You get a trill in the pit of your stomach. And right after you jump off the cliff, it would be really, super-awesome-fun for the first five seconds. But, eventually, you're going to splatter against the rocks far below.
There's a reason that the Manic Pixie Dream Girl dances right back out of your life.
She's supposed to.
*
Thoughts? On anything? Please share. I'm just making this stuff up, you know.
*
October 7, 2012
a kick in the inspiration bone: Crossroads Writers Conference
My weekend in pictures. I was having such a good time that I only took two myself, and they both suck. Yes, for the first time, I wish I had a real phone with a camera and such. My 2005 flip phone was officially dubbed "the best joke at Crossroads 2012."
If it's possible to experience flow through social interaction, it would be called the Crossroads Writers Conference in Macon, GA. Highly recommended for anyone who writes, wants to write, or wants to hang out with amazing people and get kicked repeatedly in the inspiration bone.
All pics stolen from my new best friends on Twitter.
They actually let me speak in front of a bunch of people. Their bellies were full of fried chicken, their hearts were full of Chris Baty's NaNoWriMo inspiration, and they couldn't leave because the doors were locked from the outside. I gave a three-hour speech about turnips.
I met amazing people, and many of them were manly men who didn't want to make me cry, so they bought my book. And in return, I drew outfits over Criminy's shaved chest and hard nipples.
I wasn't flicking anyone off. Well, just Mike, but he asked for it.
Finally, proof that the elusive Chuck Wendig exists. Jeremy, however, is a figment of imagination.
*
In conclusion, this was my first con for writers, and it set the bar mile-high. Chris, Heather, and the many volunteers and supporters of Crossroads do amazing work. It was touching, to see so many people find inspiration and answers and support. For me, the best part was meeting people. I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time. And learning more about other genres and avenues of publishing was eye-opening, too. It can be easy, when you have your head down and trained on the laptop, to remember that people are doing amazing work outside of my own, super-tiny sphere.
But these people-- my friends, now-- have done great things and even planned further great things while I ate an omelet.
Thanks to everyone at Crossroads.
And if you're a writer or you want to write, sign up now for Crossroads 2013. If they don't invite me back, I'm crashing. That's not a threat; it's a promise.
*
If it's possible to experience flow through social interaction, it would be called the Crossroads Writers Conference in Macon, GA. Highly recommended for anyone who writes, wants to write, or wants to hang out with amazing people and get kicked repeatedly in the inspiration bone.
All pics stolen from my new best friends on Twitter.
They actually let me speak in front of a bunch of people. Their bellies were full of fried chicken, their hearts were full of Chris Baty's NaNoWriMo inspiration, and they couldn't leave because the doors were locked from the outside. I gave a three-hour speech about turnips.
I met amazing people, and many of them were manly men who didn't want to make me cry, so they bought my book. And in return, I drew outfits over Criminy's shaved chest and hard nipples.
I wasn't flicking anyone off. Well, just Mike, but he asked for it.
Finally, proof that the elusive Chuck Wendig exists. Jeremy, however, is a figment of imagination.
*
In conclusion, this was my first con for writers, and it set the bar mile-high. Chris, Heather, and the many volunteers and supporters of Crossroads do amazing work. It was touching, to see so many people find inspiration and answers and support. For me, the best part was meeting people. I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time. And learning more about other genres and avenues of publishing was eye-opening, too. It can be easy, when you have your head down and trained on the laptop, to remember that people are doing amazing work outside of my own, super-tiny sphere.
But these people-- my friends, now-- have done great things and even planned further great things while I ate an omelet.
Thanks to everyone at Crossroads.
And if you're a writer or you want to write, sign up now for Crossroads 2013. If they don't invite me back, I'm crashing. That's not a threat; it's a promise.
*
October 5, 2012
BLUTLAND!
Just gonna put this here...
That's WICKED AS THEY COME... but different.
Germany, I will soon be in you! AND SO SPARKLY-PRETTY.
Much love to Bastei Lübbe for a gorgeous cover!
That's WICKED AS THEY COME... but different.
Germany, I will soon be in you! AND SO SPARKLY-PRETTY.
Much love to Bastei Lübbe for a gorgeous cover!
October 2, 2012
Now! Available!
THE MYSTERIOUS MADAM MORPHO
It's only $0.99. That's less than a cup of crappy coffee!
It's available for Kindle or Nook. You can also read it on a smartphone or computer.Liked WICKED AS THEY COME? You'll dig this 100-page trip back to Sang with a new romance!Haven't read WICKED? It's a sweet introduction to the Blud series from Pocket.
There's a mysterious new act in Criminy's Clockwork Caravan...
For visuals, you can also check out the Mysterious Madam Morpho Pinterest board.
I deeply hope you'll check it out, share it, and most of all, enjoy it!Because yes, there *is* this delightful little interlude under the big top...
* * *
It's only $0.99. That's less than a cup of crappy coffee!
It's available for Kindle or Nook. You can also read it on a smartphone or computer.Liked WICKED AS THEY COME? You'll dig this 100-page trip back to Sang with a new romance!Haven't read WICKED? It's a sweet introduction to the Blud series from Pocket.
There's a mysterious new act in Criminy's Clockwork Caravan...
For visuals, you can also check out the Mysterious Madam Morpho Pinterest board.
I deeply hope you'll check it out, share it, and most of all, enjoy it!Because yes, there *is* this delightful little interlude under the big top...
* * *
October 1, 2012
let us frolic on the beach together!
If you like books and hanging with authors, you'll want to know about the Olde City, New Blood con in St. Augustine next February. I'll be there-- because the ocean calls to me like a lover with an armful of cupcakes. You can go, too. And if you follow the directions below, you might go for free.
***
Dearly Beloved, We are gathered here today, to join two awesome things in a state of increased awesomeness.Today, we're bringing together an author/reader mini-con, and the chance to WIN YOUR WAY IN FOR FREE!That's right, ladies and gentlemen... starting today, you will all have 7 days to hop around from author to author, blogger to blogger, and enter at every stop to win one of 3 FREE REGISTRATIONS to Olde City, New Blood, the upcoming urban fantasy/paranormal romance mini-con in St. Augustine, FL next February.You can check out the official website for the complete list of Featured Authors (I'll give you a hint... one of them is ME!!) and Featured Bloggers. There's also a main contest post with all the participating authors, bloggers, and dates for the contest. It's super easy. Visit each of the spotlight blog posts and author websites listed, fill out the Rafflecopter link on each one (one entry PER POST, not per day... and yes, they will be checking), and POOF, multiple entries to WIN!!The prize is one of 3 FREE REGISTRATIONS to see me and about 49 other authors on the sunny beaches of St. Augustine, Florida, from Feb 8th-10, 2013. We're going to be doing panels, readings, meet & greets, and just generally having a fun weekend with our incredible fans!! Please keep in mind, if you win, you'll have to cover your own travel and hotel expenses, but your ticket into the party will be on Olde City, New Blood!!!The contest runs from September 30th - October 6th, and the 3 winners will be announced on September 7th. Don't forget to click the Rafflecopter link below before you hop off to check out the rest of the contest posts!! Good Luck, everyone!! I hope to see you ALL in Florida this February!!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
September 30, 2012
GIVEAWAY WINNERS!
Here we go, darlings:
So, going in order that means:
1. Kindle Fire = Leilani
2. Box o' Books from Pocket = Anne F.
3. Character naming = Lisa C.
4. Book of secrets + Villainess scents = Melanie F.
5. E-copies of THE MYSTERIOUS MADAM MORPHO to Psyche, Melanie, Denise, Tina, and Lexi.
Winners of 1, 2, 4, please email criminystain@gmail.com with your physical address. Lisa C., please email criminystain@gmail.com to let me know the name you'd like to give a character and if there's any significance to it, should it not be your name. Now, if anyone who won MADAM MORPHO had already purchased a copy, please email criminystain@gmail.com and let me know so that I can think of a suitable replacement. Or email me there so that I can send you your copy/code. I'm not sure how that works yet, but I'll figure it out!
Also, FYI, you can see the actual Rafflecoptery list on the original thread.
Thank y'all, so much, for your support! I'm overwhelmed by the response, and every time a book purchase email arrived, I grinned like a Cheshire cat. I hope you'll check out THE MYSTERIOUS MADAM MORPHO this Tuesday.
$0.99 isn't much to pay for a brief, sexy trip to another world, right?
CONGRATULATIONS, Y'ALL!
*
So, going in order that means:
1. Kindle Fire = Leilani
2. Box o' Books from Pocket = Anne F.
3. Character naming = Lisa C.
4. Book of secrets + Villainess scents = Melanie F.
5. E-copies of THE MYSTERIOUS MADAM MORPHO to Psyche, Melanie, Denise, Tina, and Lexi.
Winners of 1, 2, 4, please email criminystain@gmail.com with your physical address. Lisa C., please email criminystain@gmail.com to let me know the name you'd like to give a character and if there's any significance to it, should it not be your name. Now, if anyone who won MADAM MORPHO had already purchased a copy, please email criminystain@gmail.com and let me know so that I can think of a suitable replacement. Or email me there so that I can send you your copy/code. I'm not sure how that works yet, but I'll figure it out!
Also, FYI, you can see the actual Rafflecoptery list on the original thread.
Thank y'all, so much, for your support! I'm overwhelmed by the response, and every time a book purchase email arrived, I grinned like a Cheshire cat. I hope you'll check out THE MYSTERIOUS MADAM MORPHO this Tuesday.
$0.99 isn't much to pay for a brief, sexy trip to another world, right?
CONGRATULATIONS, Y'ALL!
*
September 27, 2012
in which I obsess over The Walking Dead
So... I'm kind of obsessed with season 2 of The Walking Dead.
We're watching it for the first time on Blue-Ray, one episode a night. It's completely delicious. The writing and characterization on this show are spectacular, and it centers on the general area I live in, and I once met Norman Reedus in a hotel bar, so the whole things feels like home.
Well, home plus shambling zombies.
And that's why I dug out my compound bow. I'm determined to get it tuned up and get back into shooting arrows into things. Not zombies. Not even animals. Mainly targets and bales of hay. I haven't gone to an archery range in almost ten years, and it's been way too long. I love that freakin' thing. Just pulled back and felt that tension and thought, WHY DID I STOP DOING THIS?
The answer is obvious: I moved away from the fantastically cheap archery range.
But now my bow is sitting by my laptop, reminding me to quit dreaming and start doing.
After all, when the zombies come, I'll want to be useful.
I can't let this guy take down all the walkers, even if he's very threatening.
The Walking Dead: get busy watchin' or get busy dyin'.
Netflix it, at least. Yes? Yes.
Back to your regularly scheduled... stuff we do.
*
September 25, 2012
if I could travel back in time to give myself advice...
On October 5 & 6, I'll join a coterie of other writers at the Crossroads Writers Conference in Macon, GA. So they asked me this question:
If you could go back in time to the beginning of your writing career, what advice would you give yourself on writing?
Here's what I said.
Yes, it includes wild gesticulations, cupcake waving, and super-gummy smiles.
And if you're in the southeast and want to have a cubic butt-ton of writerly fun, please join us!
I am supremely excited, even if there are no cupcakes.
*
If you could go back in time to the beginning of your writing career, what advice would you give yourself on writing?
Here's what I said.
Yes, it includes wild gesticulations, cupcake waving, and super-gummy smiles.
And if you're in the southeast and want to have a cubic butt-ton of writerly fun, please join us!
I am supremely excited, even if there are no cupcakes.
*
September 23, 2012
I bought a voodoo lawn chicken!
Best $7.95 spent this week.
I put it over the mums on the front porch to discourage the teens who will inevitably *need* to steal it.
I love you, skelemingo.
*
