Mandi Ehman's Blog, page 11

7 things that are saving my life right now

I’m linking up with Modern Mrs. Darcy to share the things that are saving my life right now. 

Even though I truly do love these days with littles in the house again, it’s definitely not the easiest stage of life as we balance the needs of our big girls, Sean starting a new business, homeschooling, and my work along with a toddler and a baby. I’m not doing it ALL by any stretch, and we’re definitely still in a bit of survival mode, but these are the things saving my life in these fleeting days:

The Ninja Coffee Bar

I first started drinking coffee on a regular basis when our youngest daughter was a {very colicky} baby, and it’s been a daily habit ever since. I used a Keurig for a long time, but I grew tired of the k-cups and worrying about clogging and/or bacteria. Since then, I’ve rotated between a stovetop espresso pot, a french press, and a Chemex, with a regular coffee pot for guests.

Just before Christmas, though, I saw a commercial for The Ninja Coffee Bar Brewer. I’m a huge fan of Ninja products—with the Ninja 3-in-1 Cooking System being one of my favorite small appliances—and I put it on my birthday wishlist. But when I got some unexpected Christmas money, we ended up buying it early during a Target sale. We have used it every single day since then {preferring the specialty brew setting for now, although I think the iced coffee will become my summer favorite}, and my girls enjoy making them as well.

I still have my specialty makers {although I did sell my regular coffee pot}, but the Ninja is definitely my favorite.

And half-caff coffee

My parents make their coffee with equal parts regular and decaf, and I’ve started doing the same, which lets me drink an extra cup {one in the morning and one midday} without upping my total caffeine intake. It’s also helped cut down on my caffeine highs and lows during the day since I’m spreading it out throughout the day.

Assigned meal preparation days

For 2016 we’ve started assigning meal preparation to the two big girls. They each make breakfast one day a week and dinner on another. While they can’t do everything by themselves, they have a few recipes they’ve mastered, and we work on new skills on the other days.

It’s been a great way to get one-on-one time with them, have them practice cooking regularly, and take some off the burden of cooking off me. If  I play my cards right, I just might have a small window when I can give all six kids an assigned breakfast and dinner and work myself right out of a job!

My new rocking chair

Speaking of six kids, I’ve wanted a rocking chair since we left our first nursery—and the hammock chair we got in Mexico—behind in Utah. We’ve never gotten one for various reasons, but I finally ordered this rocking chair a couple of weeks ago, and it was delivered just after the blizzard. I love the foot rest (and that it still rocks with it up) and my husband loves the modern design. I just can’t believe I waited so long to get one!

Spiral notebook checklists

We’re back into a regular routine of using spiral notebooks for the girls’ checklists of daily schoolwork and chores, and everything runs so much more smoothly with these in place. I was writing them each morning for the day ahead, but with the added complication of a new baby in the house I’ve started doing them at night so that they’re ready when the girls get up. Adding an activity at the bottom has been a fun way to see a bit of their creativity each day.

Alfred

If you’re a Mac user, you need the Alfred App. I know I’m not even using it to its full potential, but I love that I have system commands, internet searches, and a calculator right at my fingertips (literally, I pull it up with two clicks of the command button), and the clipboard is the best of any I’ve tried on the Mac.

Holding my plans with a loose hand

Last week I was talking to a fellow work-at-home mom with a baby and a toddler about schedules and trying to get things done. What I realized is that while I’ve given up all of my boundaries around work hours and family time right now, I’m actually less stressed than I’ve been in the past because it allows me to break from work when I need to to meet the boys’ needs or help the girls with homeschooling. Yes, it means there are a couple nights a week where I’m working super late, and I’m working seven days a week right now, but letting go of my desire for defined work hours has made a huge difference in my sanity this time around.

***

What’s saving your life right now?

Related posts:
Where intentional living and self-care intersect {and 8 books I love}
Building authentic friendships and community
Today is your day to start over
Why I no longer set an alarm in the morning



     

Weekend reading: January 30, 2016

From Instagram:We did it! Skiing all day yesterday and we still managed to get packed and out the door {of a semi-clean house} for CC this afternoon and then the drive to NC afterward. {With six kids, one dog and two fish!}

My parents are moving back to Florida next week, and while we’re super proud of my step-dad and the promotion that’s the catalyst for this move, we’re equally sad that they’ll be leaving their current neighborhood, which we’ve come to consider a home away from home.

Because our girls have formed such strong friendships in the neighborhood, we are making one last trip down to give them a chance to properly say goodbye. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind week with the blizzard last weekend and our weekly ski day yesterday, but I’m so glad we drove down yesterday so that we’d have a full weekend rather than traveling all day Saturday.

I have to say that this is one of the reasons I’m thankful for social media and technology, which will let us all stay in touch with the families in this great neighborhood even after my parents no longer live there!

What I’m reading: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson and Rising Strong by Brené Brown {still!}

What I cooked: chili, banana-zucchini muffins, lots of sandwiches to use up all of our snowstorm bread

What I’m thinking about:

{Follow my personal Facebook feed for the things I’m thinking about and talking about all week!}

Living a life you love

My break-up with busy | The Art of Simple


5 Ways To Simplify Your Life And Kiss Stress Goodbye | Smallish


The Benefit of Simple Living That No One Talks About | No Sidebar

P.S. Join us as we address these principles in the Live course this year.

Unconventional creativity

Why I Taught Myself to Procrastinate | NY Times


Three Rules for Surviving a Creative Life | » Momastery

Reading goals

Tips for Reading More This Year | Carrots for Michaelmas


How to Find More Time to Read – Even When Life is Busy | Money Saving Mom®


The books you categorically don’t read | Modern Mrs. Darcy

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:
Weekend reading: March 14, 2015
Weekend reading: June 6, 2015
Weekend reading: August 15, 2015
Weekend reading: September 19, 2015



     

Ichthyosis {or fish-scale disease} and what it means for our little one

Nothing about Lucas pregnancy or birth was like any of his siblings, and I promise there was one point where I was sure the perinatologist wanted to ask us if we were sure he had the same father as the rest of our kids {yes, absolutely!} because he was measuring so large and all of our other babies have been little.

But the moment he was born all the trouble of my pregnancy was forgotten. {And, for the record, he looks just like his daddy.}

That said, there were a few things I noted in passing during those long, non-sleeping hours in the hospital the night he was born, most notably that his skin was so dry he was leaving “dandruff” all over me and that he looked so shiny in his first few photos, almost like I was using a flash when I wasn’t.

Twenty-four hours later, we were released from the hospital and life as a family of eight officially began.

About two weeks later, however, his skin started to tighten up, especially on his legs. They looked like they had a tight plastic wrap or thin paper coating on them, which just made them look that much more scrawny.

Within a week, his skin began peeling from the crease in his forehead outward, and over the next month, he would literally shed his entire skin.

When we went in for his well appointment at 3 weeks old, our pediatrician spent some time looking at it, but because the skin appeared to be clear and normal underneath the peeling areas, our best guess was that it was just peely skin from being baked longer than his siblings (although I was only 40 weeks pregnant, it sure felt overdue after having babies at 37-39 weeks in the past}.

As time went on, though, I noticed that the dry scales were coming back in areas where he’d already finished peeling.

At his 2-month appointment, our pediatrician agreed that was a bit more concerning and gave us a referral for a dermatologist. Before we left the office, though, she brought in a book that talked about ichthyosis. The pictures and description seemed to match, but it said it was not present at birth, so we weren’t entirely sure what to think.

Side note: If you don’t have a pediatrician you love, I highly recommend searching until you find one. We’ve been at the same practice for 10 years now and have seen one pediatrician almost exclusively since she diagnosed our daughter’s ITP, and I consider her a valuable partner and friend in this parenting journey!

Fortunately, UVA was able to get us in with a pediatric dermatologist within a week, and in the meantime I read everything I could about ichthyosis.

There are at least 28 types of this genetic skin disorder, with the most common being ichthyosis vulgaris and the most severe being harlequin ichthyosis, which I’m familiar with through Courtney’s blog, Blessed by Brenna.

In some, the body has trouble “releasing” old skin, and in others the body produces skin too rapidly. They’re all characterized by fish-scale like dry skin or thickened skin, and different versions affect different parts of the body.

The dermatologist felt that Lucas most likely has a severe form of ichthyosis vulgaris. {And next time we go, I want to ask if the girls’ persistent dry, flaky scalp may be related since it is a genetic disorder.} Definitively diagnosing the type requires genetic testing, and I’m not sure if they’ll recommend that or not since the main goal is treating the skin and there aren’t any cures anyway.

Lucas may or may not grow out of it as he gets older, but for now the dermatologist prescribed daily baths with lactic acid to help his skin “release” and aquaphor to hold the moisture in, and it’s already making a big difference. {Although he’s not a huge fan of the process.}

For now our plan is to continue the daily bath-and-lotion routine. We need to make an opthamologist appointment to rule out any eye issues {but honestly I’m not too worried about those so I keep forgetting}. And then we’ll head back to the dermatologist in 3 months for a follow up.

As a side note, he also has a dermoid cyst above his left eyebrow, which is unrelated but will need to be removed when he’s older so that it doesn’t interfere with his vision or get infected.

I suppose with so many siblings, he just wants to stand out from the crowd!

Related posts:
Why I’m buying my 8-year-old her first bra
On toddlers and the terrific twos
We’re planning an 11-month RV trip…for real! #EhmanAdventure2018
Breaking the silence for pregnancy & infant loss awareness month



     
CommentsInteresting. I've never heard of this. It's great that you love ... by Jess Connell 

Easy Hillshire Farm® Naturals waffle pockets

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Hillshire Farm®. All opinions are entirely my own.

After years of wishing for a Belgian waffle maker that would make more substantial waffles than the one I got at my bridal shower, I finally put it on this year’s Christmas list. {Although I know some people don’t like getting kitchen tools as gifts, I was so excited that my husband got it for me.}

Since the morning after Christmas, we’ve been waffling everything in sight, and when Hillshire Farm® asked me to create an easy lunch featuring the new Hillshire Farm® Naturals Lunch Meats, I knew that “hot pockets” were in the cards.

These waffle sandwiches are made with pizza dough (store bought or homemade) and cooked to perfection in the waffle maker. They’re quick, easy and delicious!

With the Blizzard of 2016 bearing down on us, the kids and I made a quick run to Food Lion to pick up Hillshire Farm® Naturals Honey Roasted Ham and Hardwood Smoked Turkey Breast plus a few other essentials.

With no artificial ingredients, preservatives, colors, or added nitrites/nitrates (except those occurring naturally in celery juice), these lunch meats are delicious and perfect for quick weekday lunches that the kids.

Hillshire Farm® Naturals Waffle Pockets

Ingredients:

1 can of refrigerated pizza dough (or an equivalent amount of homemade dough)
Hillshire Farm® Naturals Honey Roasted Ham
Hillshire Farm® Naturals Hardwood Smoked Turkey Breast
sliced cheddar cheese

Directions:

1. Roll out one can of refrigerated pizza dough (or an equivalent amount of homemade dough) and cut into eighths.

2. Use a rolling pin to roll each piece to double it’s original size.

3. Layer your sandwich fixins on the dough. {I like both ham & turkey with cheese.}

4. Fold the dough in half and pinch the edges together.

5. Place on waffle maker, close and cook until the ready light comes back on.

6. Serve hot!

These are great little sandwiches—as fun as they are tasty—and easy for older kids to make on their own.

P.S. Grab this digital coupon to save $1.00 on 1 Hillshire Farm® Lunch Meat Item at any Food Lion location (expires on 02/06/16).

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Hillshire Farm®. The opinions and text are all mine.

Related posts:
Clementine poppy seed breakfast cake recipe
A tasty, not-too-sweet, dairy-free sweet potato casserole



     

How we spent the Mid-Atlantic Blizzard of 2016

This weekend we got hit by the Blizzard of 2016—also known as Winter Storm Jonas, Snowpocalypse, Snowmaggedon or, my personal favorite, Snowtopia. Our family absolutely loves a good snow storm, and as the buzz around the storm built throughout last week, so did our excitement. With somewhere around 30″ of snow when it was all said and done, this was definitely a storm for the record books, and the girls are taking full advantage of it while it lasts.

I thought I’d share a little glimpse into our weekend for those of you who aren’t on Instagram or Facebook…

Although I’d been nothing but excited in the days leading up to the storm, the models on Thursday night began to show even bigger totals (40″ and more, which some neighboring areas did get), and I started freaking out that we weren’t prepared enough.

On Friday morning Sean made an extra store run after taking the girls to the orthodontist, and we ended up with 10 loaves of bread, 5 dozen eggs, and a shelf full of canned food. I also cooked everything insight, including a double batch of breakfast cookies, hard-boiled eggs, chili, taco meat, 2 pounds of bacon, chicken breasts and a big batch of oatmeal (cold oatmeal has become one of our favorite grab-and-go breakfasts!). We figured that if push came to shove we could plug the crockpot or waffle maker into the generator (the one we bought earlier in the week just in case) and reheat whatever we needed for each meal.

After we finished storm prep and I got through a couple of work meetings, we sat back to watch as the snow started coming down. It was pretty crazy to watch those first few flakes (which seemed to stick and begin piling up right from the start!) and think about how high it was going to get in the end!

It didn’t take long before the girls had their snow clothes on and were out playing in it, and they spent much of the last three days outside in the snow.

By the time we had a good coating on the ground, I had started this s’mores dip as well. I’m a sucker for sweet treats on special occasions, and this one was easy and delicious:

Grease a pie plate with coconut oil or butter, pour in a bag of mini chocolate chips, bake until shiny at 350 degrees F, stir, top with marshmallows. I put it back in to bake (which is why my chocolate looks a little overcooked), but you should switch it to broil to brown the marshmallows faster. Serve with graham crackers and enjoy!

The next morning we woke up to a true winter wonderland with snow covering everything, and the snow still coming down steadily!

All day it just kept coming down and piling up. (And once again the girls spent most of the day out in it.)

While my husband was doing his best to keep things clear, it definitely felt like he was fighting a losing battle!

Our power stayed on through it all, though (and I don’t think there were really many widespread outages anywhere in our area—although my mom did lose hers in North Carolina), which made it a fun and exciting storm rather than a scary one.

The snow finally stopped on Saturday night, and we woke up Sunday to clear blue skies, bright sunshine, and glittering snow. The girls ate breakfast quickly before rushing to get their snow clothes back on and head out once more, and the boys and I hung out inside in the warmth, prepping hot cocoa and just generally soaking it all in.

After playing by himself for a little while, Jackson decided he was ready to go out, so we began the process of getting him ready to play in the snow. With layers upon layers, I made sure he’d be warm (and he made sure his “dun” was never far from his side!). He then spent 30 minutes or so playing with the girls before he was ready to come back in and warm up.

In the meantime, the girls dug trails throughout the yard, made sledding runs with jumps (rated as blues and greens, LOL!) and started building an igloo in the corner of the yard!

A video posted by Mandi Ehman (@mandiehman) on Jan 24, 2016 at 8:27am PST

It’s been a magical few days with power and heat inside and an unbelievable amount of snow outside! We’re not sure how or when we’re ever going to get out of the neighborhood, but for now we’re okay with that.

***

Did you get hit by this snow storm? What are your favorite snow day activities or treats?

Related posts:
It’s going to be quiet here this week…
A work update (and why I’m posting less)
We’re celebrating Baby Lucas with a 6 for $6 special offer!
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!



     

Weekend reading: January 23, 2015

From Instagram: If you need me, I’m just hanging out in bed in my pajamas with this baby boy, my laptop and some echinacea tea. After 2.5 weeks of being coughed and sneezed on, my body has waived the white flag, and it’s my turn to be miserably sick. UGH!

This week included a day on the road to UVA to see a pediatric dermatologist for Lucas’ skin issues {more on that next week}, a couple of days in bed with a 102-degree fever and a cold virus, and now…SNOWTOPIA!

We are smack in the bullseye of the snow storm hitting the Mid-Atlantic. As of right now (7:30am), with about 14″ on the ground, our power is still on, and I couldn’t be happier. There’s nothing better than a good snow storm, but I might change my tune if we lose power for several days!

What I’m reading: Gilead by Marilynne Robinson and Rising Strong by Brené Brown

What I cooked: ALL THE FOOD {oh, and s’mores dip!}

What I’m thinking about:

{Follow my personal Facebook feed for the things I’m thinking about and talking about all week!}

Intentional & creative living

7 Signs You’ve Become Too Busy for Your Own Good | Christianity Today


What if All I Want is A Mediocre Life? | A Life in Progress


Three Rules for Surviving a Creative Life | Momastery


The Hyper-Examined Life Isn’t Worth Living | Samuel D. James

The hard work of parenting

Physician to parents: You’re doing it wrong | 95.1 Wape {horrible title, great article!}


4 Ways to Radically Impact Your Home in the New Year | Kristen Welch


The collapse of parenting: Why it’s time for parents to grow up  | Maclean’s

Organizing and building better habits

On goal-setting and habit formation | Strategy Sarah


How to Bullet Journal: The Absolute Ultimate Guide | The Lazy Genius Collective


Rules for Getting Organized & Decluttered | zen habits

Have a great weekend!

P.S. Have you heard of Winsome? It’s a 3-day retreat hosted by my friend Kim Hyland and held in the mountains of Pennsylvania. I love Kim’s heart for connecting women, for tackling hard topics, and for embracing authenticity in our relationships. She invited me to speak this year, and I cannot wait for this weekend and all that she has planned.

Tickets are available at the earlybird price for one more week, so grab yours today, and I’ll see you there!

Related posts:
Weekend reading: May 30, 2015
Weekend reading: September 26, 2015
Weekend reading: October 10, 2015
Weekend reading: October 17, 2015



     

7 things I’ve learned about Stitch Fix from the buy/sell/trade group on Facebook

These are my “I’m not a fashion model or a style blogger” poses. Oy!

I was a reluctant Stitch Fix convert for many, many months, mostly because of the prices. There’s no way around the fact that these pieces cost much more than those of us who shop Target and Old Navy are used to spending.

But ultimately I decided that having fewer clothes I love was worth the increased price, and the jeans I got in my first fix—shown in pictures 2 and 3 above—have confirmed that every single time I put them on. {And I’ve loved something from almost every fix I’ve received since then.}

This month I kept my whole fix, taking advantage of the 25% discount to keep the blue scarf (on the left) for FREE. I wouldn’t have kept it otherwise, but it’s so warm and cozy, so I’m glad I did.

My husband didn’t like the pattern of one of the shirts in my fix, so I decided to join the buy/sell/trade group on Facebook, which is a over 30,000 members strong but not officially associated with Stitch Fix. I sold that shirt at cost (to justify keeping the scarf!), and I’ve learned a ton about Stitch Fix from the other women in the group in the meantime.

Here are the top 7 tips I’m looking forward to putting into practice with future fixes…

1. Be specific. No, REALLY specific.

I thought “be specific” meant, “I’d like some shirts.” What it really means, though, is, “I’d like some three-quarter length v-neck shirts in neutral colors. No bright patterns.”

Now, part of the fun for me is getting out of my comfort zone and trying on clothes I wouldn’t have otherwise, so I don’t want to get too specific, but I did tell my stylist that I never, ever want to see a high-collar sleeveless shirt again and that I’d really like a nicer racerback tank for under my cardigans. I also realized I need some more casual mom clothes for around the house, so I asked for those in my next fix as well.

2. It’s much easier to sell your extras than you might think.

It took me literally 2 minutes to list the shirt I wanted to sell in the group. I answered a few questions for people, and right before I was going to pull the listing down to send the shirt back, someone messaged me that they wanted to buy it. She sent me money via Paypal, and Sean stuck it in the mail the next day. Easy as pie!

Now I just need to pull out my maternity pieces and get those listed as gently used Stitch Fix pieces!

3. You can ask for actual Stitch Fix pieces {but you might not get them}.

One thing I was really surprised to realize is that if you see someone else wearing something you’re dying to add to your own collection, you can ask for that piece by name. Now, your stylist won’t always send it because they have limited stock, but they might, or they might send something similar that you love just as much!

4. Stitch Fix cares about their customers.

It has been amazing to me to see how Stitch Fix cares for their customers. Several people have mentioned that they received little gifts based on their notes about losing a baby suddenly during pregnancy, needing comfy clothes for chemo, being in the hospital with a sick child, etc. This isn’t part of the system that you want to work, but it’s so much fun to see the thoughtful gifts (like a soft blanket for a sick child or a Kindle for the woman battling breast cancer) that they send, along with a handwritten note. Well done, Stitch Fix!

5. Your trash is my treasure {and vice versa}.

I recently read a whole thread about how much people hate dolmans, but they’re my favorite! It doesn’t seem to matter what someone posts—or how much they hate it—someone else loves it. This makes the buy/sell/trade group work beautifully because there is almost always someone who wants what you don’t!

6. You can specify pricing {to some degree}.

Similar to making specific requests, I thought the priciness of Stitch Fix was a given I just had to accept. But someone recently posted that they ask their stylist to stay under $200 for the whole fix. That’s still a lot of money, but it brings the prices of the individual pieces down significantly, so I added the same request to my next fix!

7. Stitch Fix is a community.

One of my favorite threads so far was one where women shared their stories of spotting other women wearing Stitch Fix pieces and how they’ve shouted across the parking lot, “Stitch Fix?” and had a good laugh with a complete stranger or opened up a whole conversation with someone they wouldn’t have chatted with otherwise.

Beyond that, the Facebook group is so friendly and encouraging…thousands of women offering feedback on different items, outfits, etc. I have yet to see a mean-spirited comment in there, and I’m actually learning a lot about putting outfits together by reading through their posts.

If you use Stitch Fix, you definitely want to join!

***

Now, back to my fix…

In this box, I got two nursing-friendly tops, a cardigan, a pair of black leggings, and the blue scarf.

From left to right:

Look by M Prescott Fringe Edge Scarf (blue), $32

Honestly, I’m still not sure how to style this scarf, but it’s so warm and cozy, so I wear it around the house often!

Rune Porter Legging (black), $38

I really wanted a nicer pair of leggings that wouldn’t pick up dog hair or pill in the wash, and while there’s nothing particularly special about these, they fit the bill.

41Hawthorn Abrianna Longsleeve Knit Cardigan (jewel tone purple), $48

I love how this cardigan hangs, and it’s lightweight enough that I’m not as likely to overheat in it as I am with some of my thicker sweaters. It’s definitely become one of my favorites.

Market & Spruce Avah Knit Top (blue), $58

Funny enough, when I opened my fix, this was the one top I was sure I wouldn’t like…and it’s the item I’ve worn the most. I love the way it fits and that I can pull the neck down for nursing (which makes it my favorite top to nurse in when I have the Boba wrap on), and even the pattern has grown on me. I think it pretty much sums up what I love about Stitch Fix because I wouldn’t have ever bought or even tried this one on.

***

Have you tried Stitch Fix? Click here to sign up and request your first fix today. (And then share your referral link to earn $25 in credit for each friend who joins!)

Related posts:
Adventures in online clothes shopping {Schoola, Twice & Stitch Fix}
A Stitch Fix review—the wins and the fails after four fixes
How we approach makeup with our girls



     

Capturing the hearts of my girls in 2016

Like a lot of people, the “one word” movement for setting New Year’s resolutions has been one that I’ve embraced wholeheartedly. I love the idea of approaching the new year with a theme that can be summed up in a single word, and I really feel like I’ve grown through the words I’ve chosen in the past.

I’ve always taken an intuitive approach when choosing a word of the year, waiting for the word to find me and resonate in my spirit rather than trying to come up with one on my own. (That sounds a lot more woo-wooey than I intended it!)

This year, though, I just haven’t felt that any word really encapsulates my hopes for 2016. Instead of a single word, the idea that keeps coming to me is “capturing the hearts of my girls,” and so that’s what I’m going with!

As a mom, I am type-A and task-oriented, introverted and confident, pretty much everything you’d expect from an INTJ or an Enneagram Type 8.

In some ways, that’s good. With the help of spreadsheets and checklists, schedules and routines, I manage to juggle a job and my own business, homeschooling and homemaking.

But as a type-A, introverted, task-oriented mom, I haven’t always done a great job of investing in my relationships with my girls as individuals (focusing instead on to-do lists, meeting their physical needs, and often just surviving another day).

With our oldest daughter firmly in the “tween” stage and another close behind, I’m feeling the weight of this, though, and the importance of a relationship with each of them that leaves an open door for hard conversations, for piling their junk on me, and for dealing with the emotions and struggles of growing up.

We’ve also recently acknowledged that our oldest probably has ADHD (more on this journey in a later post), and while we’re still waiting on a formal diagnosis, that has opened my eyes to her unique emotional needs and how ADHD can potentially make adolescence even harder for her. (I highly recommend Understanding Girls with ADHD for learning more about how ADHD affects girls differently than boys, not just in the symptoms they experience but in their emotional reactions and the potential behavior patterns these can lead to.)

When I wrote about the “more” of a big family last year, I talked about how I have to work hard to deal with arguing and discipline on an individual basis because it’s too easy to see all four girls as an amalgamation of each other. And that often makes me less patient with them as a whole, with the last person to argue/disobey/interrupt bearing the brunt of my impatience.

And so my goal is to really capture their hearts this year. To read books and watch movies together. To make time for walks and coffee dates and one-on-one conversation. To get to know them better as individuals. To make sure the door is open for them to share their thoughts and feelings and struggles with me.

The hard part is that this is easy for me with my babies and toddlers and preschoolers. Two year olds are my jam, and I love scooping Jackson up to help me in the kitchen or listening to him chatter away while I fold laundry. Eight year olds, on the other hand, are not quite so easy for me, and as delightful as I find the girls’ humor and sarcasm and deep thinking, my relationships with them take work. I wasn’t necessarily prepared for that work; I thought I would always feel about them the way I did when they were newborns and toddlers and preschoolers.

(I wonder if this growing up process is easier for the moms who struggle in the early years because they learn early that those relationships take work?!)

Investing in these relationships means saying yes when our oldest asks to help me bathe the baby even though I was looking forward to the quiet. It means hugging the 8-year-old when she bursts into tears because she broke her Kindle screen and is afraid I’ll be mad. It means holding my tongue when I really want to yell at everyone to please just BE QUIET for five minutes (and, man, do I need to work on that one). It means really listening to our 11yo’s pleas for violin lessons or adding purple highlights to my hair to match hers. It means looking for those opportunities for conversation rather than looking for opportunities for quiet.

At some point, it’s also going to include getting back to our morning time routine (I’m trying to give myself grace because it’s been hard to make space for that with our current routine and schedule, but I know it will help!), and I’d love to get back to planned one-on-one dates with them as well.

There are no actionable steps to take, no measurable milestones, no defined timelines for this goal…simply my heart’s desire and a commitment to evaluate how I’m doing, pay attention to the small moments, and keep on trying.

Related posts:
Why it’s okay to believe your way is the best way
Why, yes, we DO have our hands full!
How to have the perfect Mother’s Day
We’re planning an 11-month RV trip…for real! #EhmanAdventure2018



     

Weekend reading: January 16, 2015

From Instagram: Hey there, McFatty!

It has been a week, y’all—poor Jackson had a nasty upper respiratory virus that turned into a raging double ear infection, and there were several days when Sean and I were both running on fumes. We’re also dealing with a few medical issues with Lucas {more on those in another post}, and while I’m not super anxious about them, I am in research mode {my default reaction to anything that has the potential to be overwhelming}. And to top it all off, the big girls got their palate expanders on, which has been…fun.

OH! And my phone slid out of my back pocket and right into the toilet. The picture above was my last Instagram before my insta-baby book was ripped away from me and placed in rice to (hopefully) dry out!

What I’m reading: The Julian Chapter by R.J. Palacio and  Rising Strong by Brené Brown

What I cooked: easy paleo oatmeal, the best grain-free muffins ever, skillet rice with shrimp and chicken

What I’m thinking about:

{Follow my personal Facebook feed for the things I’m thinking about and talking about all week!}

Encouragement for the hard days

What To Do When You Wake Up Feeling Overwhelmed | Money Saving Mom®


The Disease of Being Busy | On Being


The One Thing That Keeps Momma Sane | ONE little MOMMA


You can’t give what you don’t have. | Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

A life that matters

Ten questions for work that matters | Seth’s Blog


Unlock Freedom By Simplifying These 4 Key Areas | Becoming Minimalist


5 Things I’m Going to Stop Doing in 2016 | hellorigby

Note the good

We said: “This is not us” | Humans of New York


Saying Yes to the Adventure of Foster Care | Made to Mother


Hotel Not Only Returns Lost Toy, It Makes Photo Album of Bunny’s VIP Stay | Good News Network

Have a great weekend!

Related posts:
Weekend reading: March 7, 2015
Weekend reading: May 9, 2015
Weekend reading: July 18, 2015
Weekend reading: October 24, 2015



     

My 2016 reading goals {and this year’s Modern Mrs. Darcy Reading Challenge}

Although I didn’t finish the 2015 reading challenge hosted by Anne at Modern Mrs, Darcy, I’m jumping back in this year, moving a few of my books over to this year’s list and filling in the remaining categories with new books.

I’ve also bumped my reading goal back up to 100 if only for the challenge of reading through the summer slump and to increase my chances of making a dent in my Books To Read folder on my Kindle while still giving myself the flexibility to pick up new books that catch my attention!

With that said, here are my choices for the reading challenge categories plus a “few” other books I’d like to read this year:

A book published this year: The Winner’s Kiss by Marie Rutkoski

I love easy-to-read dystopian series that make you think, but I read pretty much all of the available series in 2014, which means it’s a long, slow wait for new books! Last year I read and enjoyed the first two books in The Winner’s Trilogy, and I’m anxiously waiting for the third to come out in March.

A book you can finish in a day: Auggie & Me: Three Wonder Stories by R.J. Palacio

I’m counting the Wonder stories as three individual books since I purchased them separately for my Kindle, and I’m pretty sure I can finish each of them in a single day since they’re only about 125 pages or so each (but that doesn’t mean I will…working, homeschooling, sleep-deprived-with-an-infant and all that!). I don’t normally buy the short stories that accompany a book or series, but my girls have been reading them, and I wanted to be able to chat through the stories!

A book you’ve been meaning to read: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

This is the first book I’m moving over from last year’s list. I bought the paperback of this one because I wanted to add it to our children’s book collection, but that’s pretty much a reading death sentence for me, so I might need to grab the ebook as well!

A book recommended by your local librarian or bookseller: Gilead  by Marilynne Robinson

I’m cheating a bit on this category. Although our girls were going to the library regularly (until our fines threatened to bankrupt us!), I’m not much for library books—see previous comment about ebooks versus physical books—and we don’t exactly have a local bookseller out here in the boonies, so I buy most of my books from Amazon. Kara used her Amazon recommendations for this category, which I thought was genius, and I was excited to see this one on my list since it’s come recommended from several friends I trust as well!

A book you should have read in school: A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle

The list of books I should have read in school is long, but my step-dad often refers to this as his very favorite book from childhood, so it seemed like a good place to start!

Also on this list is the rest of the books from The Enchanted Collection {Little Women, which is actually a re-read, and The Wind in the Willows} as well as The Adventure Collection {The Jungle Book, Gulliver’s Travels, White Fang, and The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood}, which were part of my read-the-classics goal last year as well.

A book chosen for you by your spouse, partner, sibling, child, or BFF: Everything I Never Told You  by Celeste Ng

Shaina and I are funny co-readers because in some ways our tastes are very similar (dystopian, books that make you think and push the envelope, etc.), and in others they’re very different (she likes darker books while I like those that are infused with hope). I was a little nervous about asking her for a recommendation because she could have given me one she knew was outside my comfort zone, but I was excited when she picked this one because it’s another one I’ve seen recommended multiple times and also had on my list.

A book published before you were born: Watership Down by Richard Adams

After finish The Green Ember, I saw someone ask the author if it was intended to be a retelling of Watership Down, and S.D. Smith’s answer was so compelling I knew this one needed to make it onto my list of books to read!

A book that was banned at some point: The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

There are so many possibilities for this category that it was hard to choose just one, and I can’t really even say why I chose The Catcher in the Rye other than it felt like another classic I would want to read anyway and it fit. Ha!

A book you previously abandoned: Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin

Anne recommended this book last year, and I raved about it while listening to it on Audible, but at 42 hours, it was slow progress. At some point during the year I gave up on audiobooks (it takes work to find time for listening) and gave up on this book at the same time. I’ve started listening to audiobooks again, though, and I’d like to finish this one by the end of 2016!

Other books I want to finish this year:

Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee
Twelve Years a Slave by Solomon Northup
The Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson

A book you own but have never read: Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin

I love both The Happiness Project and Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, but this one has some iffy reviews that have kept me from actually cracking it open. I recently bought the Audible version (although I wish it was being read by Rubin herself!), and I’m looking forward to listening to it instead.

Other books I own and want to prioritize this year:

Own Your Life by Sally Clarkson
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett
Little Beach Street Bakery by Jenny Colgan
How to Hug a Porcupine by Julie A. Ross, M.A.
Wildwood by Colin Meloy
Faith Unraveled by Rachel Held Evans
Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman
Hamlet’s Blackberry by William Powers
Anchored by Kayla Aimee
and so very many more (seriously, the list is ridiculous)!

I also kicked off this year by picking up some of the books from my to-read list through Audible sales, so now I’m extra motivated to make time for these:

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
Why Not Me? by Mindy Kaling
Hands Free Life by Rachel Macy Stafford
Rising Strong by Brene Brown
The History of the Ancient World by Susan Wise Bauer
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

A book that intimidates you:  Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Metaxas

I can’t even say why this book (which was also on my 2015 list) is the one that intimidates me, but I looked at it every few weeks all of last year and never felt like buying it, always opting for an “easy read” instead.

A book you’ve already read at least once: The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

And finally, my girls are obsessed with Harry Potter right now, so I’d like to reread the series to be able to have more conversations about the details that are interesting to them.

I also picked up the Kindle version of Coming Clean by Seth Haines (my very favorite book of 2015) to read again, and it’s been a couple of years since I read Last Child in the Woods, so I might reread that one this year too!

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Okay, that’s actually 47 books to read this year, which may be a bit lofty because of my penchant for picking up something new and light when I want to escape, but we’ll see how it goes!

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What’s on your 2016 reading list? Do you prefer to read from a list or pick new books on a whim?

Related posts:
What I’m reading for the Modern Mrs. Darcy 2015 reading challenge
How do YOU rate books on Goodreads?
Question of the Day: How do you choose books?
Inspirational Kindle books for the New Year on sale for $1.99



    Related StoriesMy favorite books of 2015 {and how my opinion changes in hindsight}