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How DBT Helps Adults Heal from Trauma and PTSD in IOP Programs

When adults go through trauma, it can leave deep emotional scars. People with trauma or PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) often feel intense emotions. They may experience flashbacks, panic, and a constant sense of danger, even when the trauma is over.

If you have PTSD, you might notice some or all of these symptoms:

PTSD SYMPTOMWHAT IT FEELS LIKEFlashbacksFeeling like the trauma is happening all over againNightmaresBad dreams about the trauma or other scary thingsAvoidanceStaying away from places, people, or memoriesFeeling on edgeAlways alert, easily startled, trouble relaxingNegative thoughts and feelingsFeeling hopeless, guilty, or disconnected from othersMemory problemsTrouble remembering parts of the traumaTrouble SleepingHard time fallijng asleep or staying asleepAnger or irritabilityGetting angry easily or feeling frustrated a lot

PTSD can affect every part of daily life. It can make it harder to trust people, focus at work or school, or even enjoy things you once loved.

The trauma may have occurred when you were a child and affected your social and brain development. ��Childhood trauma can have lasting effects through adulthood. It impacts brain development and daily functioning. When someone experiences trauma, their brain shifts into survival mode. The amygdala and other brain parts that sense danger become overactive. This means that even when a person is safe, their brain might still act like they���re in danger. The prefrontal cortex helps us make decisions and manage emotions. When it becomes underactive, we might find it hard to think clearly or stay calm during stress. The hippocampus helps with memory and separates past from present. It may shrink, which can lead to flashbacks or feeling “stuck” in trauma.

How Trauma Affects the Brain

For children, trauma can interrupt normal brain development. Kids who grow up in unsafe or unpredictable places often struggle. They may have trouble with attention, learning, making friends, and managing their feelings. Their nervous systems might stay in a constant “high alert” mode. This makes it hard to feel safe, connected, or focused. In adulthood, this may lead to chronic anxiety, trust issues, mood swings, or feeling “on edge.”

Healing from trauma is tough. These patterns are deeply wired into our brain and body. Trauma recovery means helping the nervous system feel safe again. This process takes time and patience. Therapy is not just about talking about trauma. It helps people build skills to manage strong emotions. These include grounding, breathing, mindfulness, and recognizing what triggers the brain’s danger response. That���s why effective trauma treatment moves slowly and with care. Healing from PTSD takes time, but with the right therapy and support, it is possible to feel safe, connected, and hopeful again.

If you are struggling with PTSD symptoms, reaching out for help is a strong and important first step. But it needs to be the right help. And it���s important to be prepared for the work you���ll do in trauma treatment, so it can be effective.

Steps in Trauma Recovery: How People Heal from PTSD and Emotional Trauma

Healing from trauma takes time, but recovery is possible. Many people who have been through trauma or PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) go through several steps in their healing journey. These steps help people feel safer, manage their emotions, and start living again without being stuck in the past.

1.��Feeling Safe Again

The first step in healing from trauma is learning how to feel safe. After trauma, the brain can stay in ���danger mode,��� even when nothing bad is happening. Healing from trauma is a journey, and the very first step is learning how to feel safe again. After experiencing trauma, the brain can get stuck in what���s known as ���danger mode.��� This is the brain���s way of protecting you, but it can continue long after the threat is gone.

When your brain stays in this survival state, it constantly scans for danger���even in situations that are actually safe. This can lead to symptoms like anxiety, jumpiness, trouble sleeping, and difficulty trusting others. You might feel like you���re always on edge, waiting for something bad to happen. These are common signs of post-traumatic stress, and they���re your brain���s way of saying, ���Something���s not right.���

Because of this, trauma recovery can���t start with talking about what happened right away. First, the body and mind need to learn how to calm down and feel secure. Therapists often call this ���building safety and stability.��� It’s the foundation for all other healing.

Some examples of ways to begin building safety include:

Practicing grounding techniques��to stay in the present momentCreating a routine��that brings structure and predictabilitySpending time with supportive people��who help you feel calmLearning breathing exercises or mindfulness skills��to reduce anxietyWorking with a trauma-informed therapist��who understands how trauma affects the nervous system

Once a person feels safer in their body and environment, they���re better able to process painful memories and build healthier relationships. Trying to dive into trauma work too soon���without first feeling safe���can actually be re-traumatizing.

Feeling safe doesn���t mean nothing bad will ever happen again. It means trusting that you have the tools to handle what comes your way. That sense of safety is the foundation of all meaningful trauma recovery.

This makes it hard to relax or trust others. In trauma therapy, people learn simple tools to help calm their bodies and minds.

2.��Learning to Handle Strong Emotions

Many people with PTSD feel big emotions like fear, sadness, anger, or shame. A big part of recovery is learning how to handle these emotions without letting them take over.

Many people begin to��process��what happened to them in this second step and how it affected their emotions. If you have PTSD, strong emotions like fear, sadness, anger, or shame and come out of nowhere and may feel overwhelming or even scary. Sometimes they don���t match the situation you’re in���like getting really angry over something small or feeling sad when nothing seems wrong.

This part of healing is about learning how to face those feelings instead of pushing them away or letting them control you. It���s normal to want to avoid painful emotions, but avoiding them can make them even stronger later. Trauma treatment helps people learn tools to safely feel their emotions, understand where they come from, and find healthy ways to respond.

What Processing Looks Like

In therapy, this step may include:

Naming emotions����� learning to notice and describe what you’re feelingMindfulness����� staying present without getting swept away by emotionGrounding techniques����� like holding a cold object or describing your surroundings out loud to bring your focus back to the presentValidation����� learning to tell yourself, ���It makes sense I feel this way,��� instead of judging yourself

Example:
Let���s say you were in a car accident. Months later, you might feel terrified just sitting in a car���even if you know you���re safe. Processing means understanding that fear and working through it, rather than avoiding cars forever or forcing yourself to pretend you���re not afraid.

You Are Not Broken

Big feelings are not a sign that you���re weak or broken���they are signs that your body and brain are still reacting to something painful. Learning how to process emotions gives you back a sense of control. Instead of feeling trapped by your feelings, you start to feel stronger and more prepared.

3.��Talking About the Trauma (When You’re Ready)

After someone feels more in control of their emotions, they can begin to talk about what happened. This is a slow, gentle process. Therapists use special methods like EMDR or CPT to help people face their memories without feeling overwhelmed.
Example:��In a therapy session, you might talk about a memory while using tapping or eye movements to help your brain feel safe and strong while remembering. You could also use the DBT skills you have learned.

4.��Rebuilding Your Life

As people heal, they start to feel more like themselves again. They may rebuild relationships, try new hobbies, or feel more confident in everyday life. Recovery doesn’t mean forgetting the trauma���it means learning to live with it in a way that doesn���t control you anymore.
Example:��You might start making plans for the future, spending more time with friends, or going back to school or work

Recovery is rarely a straight line. Feelings often get more intense before they get better, which can be discouraging. That���s why trauma treatment needs to be done with care. Before talking about what happened, a person needs skills to handle tough emotions. With the right support, people can change their brains. They can form new patterns and start living with more ease and connection.�� This is where��DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)��can help.

In Adult Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOPs), DBT helps people gain control over their emotions. This support allows them to heal safely. Let���s explore how DBT supports trauma recovery in IOP programs and why it���s such an important part of treatment.

What Is DBT?

DBT is a type of therapy that teaches people how to:

Stay calm during stressUnderstand and manage emotionsImprove relationshipsBe more aware of the present moment

It was first created for people with strong, hard-to-control emotions. But now, it is used to help people with many mental health concerns���including trauma and PTSD.

Why You Need DBT Skills Before Trauma Therapy

Healing from trauma often brings up painful emotions. People may feel sadness, fear, anger, guilt, or shame. Trauma therapy can be tough. It feels overwhelming when someone doesn���t have the skills to handle these feelings.

Example:��Imagine someone starts talking about a past assault in therapy. They begin to feel panic, start crying, and feel like they want to run out of the room or dissociate. Without ways to relax, they may skip therapy or resort to unhealthy habits, like drinking or self-harm. At worst they could be more traumatized.

With DBT skills, they could instead:

Use mindfulness to take deep breaths and notice their bodyPractice self-soothing, like holding a soft blanket or listening to calming musicUse grounding techniquesUse a��Distress Toleranceskill, like going for a walk or calling a support person

These tools help people feel more grounded and able to continue therapy.

What Skills Does DBT Teach?

In an adult IOP program, DBT teaches four main skill sets:

Mindfulness:Learn to stay in the moment. This helps people notice their thoughts and feelings without getting overwhelmed.��Example: ���I notice I���m feeling anxious, and I can take deep breaths to calm down.���Distress Tolerance:Learn how to survive emotional pain without making things worse. Learn how to use your senses for self-soothing and comfort. Learn how to get into a state of safety. For example, try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique.Emotion Regulation:Understand emotions and how to manage them in healthy ways. Learn the triggers for your emotions. Discover how your emotions connect to your physical sensations. Eat regular meals and get enough sleep. This helps reduce emotional ups and downs.Interpersonal Effectiveness:Build stronger relationships and learn to set boundaries.��Example: Saying ���no��� kindly or asking for support without guilt.

DBT in IOP: A Safe Start to Trauma Recovery

An��Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)��is a great place to learn DBT skills. In an IOP, clients come to therapy several days a week. This structure gives people time to learn and practice skills in real life.

Feeling confident in DBT tools usually means a person ready for trauma-focused therapy. This includes EMDR, DBT-PE, or Prolonged Exposure. With DBT, they already know how to manage the hard feelings that come up during trauma work.

Before starting trauma therapy, a person could use DBT skills to create a coping plan, such as:

Call my support person after sessionUse skills to stay presentSeparate the trauma response from what is actually happening nowTake a walk after therapyUse my ���Coping Skills Box��� with calming tools

Healing from Trauma Takes Time���and Tools

Trauma affects more than the brain. It also impacts the body, emotions, and relationships. DBT gets this. It helps people gain skills to feel safe, stick with therapy, and start healing.

Healing from PTSD or trauma is not easy. Sometimes things feel worse before they get better. But with the right support, therapy, and tools, people can feel safe, calm, and strong again. You are not alone, and recovery is possible

In adult IOP programs, DBT helps trauma survivors feel strong and in control. It���s a step-by-step path to healing, and no one has to take that path alone.

Looking for Trauma Therapy with DBT?��If you or a loved one is looking for a trauma-informed IOP that uses DBT, our team can help. Contact us today to see how our program helps recovery. We focus on compassion, structure, and real-life skills.

The post How DBT Helps Adults Heal from Trauma and PTSD in IOP Programs appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

Understanding Loneliness in Overcontrolled Teens: An RO DBT Perspective for Parents

If your teen struggles with loneliness despite being responsible, intelligent, or socially skilled, they may have an overcontrolled (OC) coping style. In Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), we understand loneliness in OC teens as stemming not from a lack of social skills, but from difficulty expressing warmth, openness, and flexibility in relationships.

 

Why Do Overcontrolled Teens Feel Lonely?

Teens with an OC temperament often:

Appear independent but feel disconnected ��� They may not openly express their desire for friendship, leading others to assume they���re fine on their own.Struggle with emotional expression ��� Their facial expressions, body language, or tone of voice may not signal interest or warmth, making it harder for peers to connect with them.Overthink social interactions ��� They may focus so much on saying the ���right��� thing that conversations feel rigid or unnatural.Fear rejection or embarrassment ��� They may hesitate to take social risks, like starting conversations or inviting friends to hang out.Prefer structure over spontaneity ��� Playfulness and lightheartedness, which strengthen friendships, can feel uncomfortable or ���pointless��� to them.

As a result, these teens may become socially isolated despite a deep longing for connection.

 

How Can Parents Help?

RO DBT offers specific strategies to help OC teens loosen��excessive control and foster authentic relationships. As a parent, you can support your teen by:

��1. Encouraging Emotional Expression

Model relaxed and expressive communication at home. Use open body language, varied facial expressions, and warm tones when talking with them.Gently validate their feelings without pressuring them to ���fix��� loneliness immediately. Example: ���It sounds like you���re feeling left out, and that���s really tough. I���m here for you.���2. Promote Social FlexibilityEncourage small social risks, such as texting a friend first or saying ���hi��� to a classmate, without emphasizing outcomes.Remind them that social interactions don���t have to be perfect���mistakes and awkward moments are part of connecting.3. Helping with Social SignalingSubtle social signals (like a relaxed smile or eye contact) can make a big difference in friendships. You can practice these in a fun, low-pressure way���perhaps by watching movies and discussing how characters show warmth and interest. Voice tone that varies with what someone is saying is a primary way of engaging with others, versus a monotone voice.4. Encouraging Playfulness and SpontaneityFind ways to incorporate lightheartedness at home. Silly jokes, trying new activities together, or even playful banter can help your teen practice being more open and relaxed.5. Leading with Curiosity Instead of PressureAvoid telling them to ���just be more social��� or ���put themselves out there.��� Instead, ask curious, open-ended questions:���What���s one thing you wish was different about your social life?������What���s a small thing that might make it easier to connect with people?������Have you noticed if there are times you feel more comfortable around others?���

When Therapy Might Be Helpful

While loneliness is a normal experience at times, therapy may be beneficial if you notice any of the following in your teen:
Persistent isolation ��� They have few or no social interactions and show no interest in changing this.
Significant distress about friendships ��� They express frustration, sadness, or hopelessness about their social life but feel unable to change it.
Rigid social rules ��� They believe they must follow strict social ���rules��� (e.g., ���I can���t text first��� or ���People only like me if I���m perfect���).
High self-criticism ��� They blame themselves harshly for social struggles and feel like they���re ���not good enough.���
Increased anxiety or depression ��� They seem withdrawn, irritable, or show signs of low mood related to loneliness. They may put a lot of pressure on themselves in academics.
Struggles with emotional expression ��� They have difficulty showing warmth, relaxation, or playfulness, making it hard for others to connect with them.

If these patterns persist, RO DBT may be a great fit. This approach helps overcontrolled teens relax self-imposed social rules, develop warmth and openness in relationships, and engage more flexibly in social settings.

 

��How to Introduce the Idea of Therapy to Your Teen

Bringing up therapy can feel tricky, especially if your teen is highly self-sufficient or resistant to help. Here are some tips:

1. Normalize Therapy as a Tool for Growth

Instead of framing therapy as something only for “problems” or “fixing,” present it as a way to learn new skills, just like school, sports, or music lessons. Example:
���A lot of people work with therapists to improve things they care about. Therapy isn���t just for when things are really bad���it���s also for learning how to have better relationships and feel more confident socially.���

2. Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Judgment

If they���re feeling lonely or struggling, validate their experience rather than rushing to solutions. Example:
���I know making friends hasn���t felt easy for you, and that must be really frustrating. It makes sense that you���d feel that way.���

3. Give Them Some Control Over the Process

Overcontrolled teens often dislike feeling pressured, so offer choices. Example:
���Would you be open to trying a few sessions and seeing if it���s helpful? If you don���t like it, we can talk about other options.���

4. Highlight That Therapy Can Be Tailored to Their Needs

Overcontrolled teens may worry that therapy will be emotional or unstructured. Reassure them that RO DBT is skills-based and focused on practical strategies. Example:
���This kind of therapy actually teaches ways to make friendships easier and less stressful. It���s not just about talking about feelings all the time.���

5. Offer a Trial Period

If they seem hesitant, suggest a low-pressure trial. Example:
���You don���t have to commit forever���let���s just try a few sessions and see what you think.���

6. Introduce the Idea Indirectly

Sometimes, teens are more receptive when the idea comes from another source. You might:

Share a story about someone who benefited from therapy.Suggest watching a YouTube video or TED Talk on social connection.Mention a book or article about RO DBT and ask what they think.Final Thoughts

Your teen���s loneliness is not a sign of failure���it���s often an unintended consequence of their natural temperament. Therapy can be a safe place to build social confidence, learn new skills, and explore friendships in a way that feels right for them.

 

The post Understanding Loneliness in Overcontrolled Teens: An RO DBT Perspective for Parents appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

Why a DBT Based Adult IOP is a Game-Changer for Adults Struggling with Self-Harm

If you’re an adult who struggles with self-harm, you are not alone. Some people harm themselves by cutting, burning, or hitting when they feel overwhelmed, numb, or out of control. These actions are often used as a way to cope with painful emotions or to feel something when emotions feel shut off.

A DBT-based adult IOP in Houston, TX can offer structured, evidence-based support to help you learn healthier ways to manage intense emotions and begin the healing process.

How Does Self-Harm Relieve Emotions?

Self-harm is often misunderstood. People sometimes assume it���s just for attention, but that���s not true. Adults who self-harm often do so for deep emotional reasons. If you’re an adult who struggles with self-harm, you are not alone. Many people, regardless of age or background, use self-harming behaviors such as cutting, burning, scratching, or hitting themselves as a way to cope with intense emotional pain. These behaviors are rarely about seeking attention���they’re often private, deeply personal attempts to manage overwhelming internal experiences.

Self-harm can serve several emotional purposes, even though the relief is temporary and can lead to longer-term emotional and physical consequences. Here are a few common ways self-harm may seem to relieve emotions:

Releasing Built-Up Tension: Some people describe emotions like anger, anxiety, or grief as building up like pressure inside them. Self-harm can feel like a release valve���like letting steam out of a pressure cooker. For example, someone might cut their skin after a fight with a loved one to “let it out” and feel immediate, if short-lived, relief. It can feel like a way to calm down when feeling overwhelmed.Turning Emotional Pain into Physical Pain:��Emotional pain can feel abstract, overwhelming, and hard to define. Physical pain can feel more concrete and easier to understand. For example, a person might burn themselves because it’s easier to focus on the physical sensation than to sit with feelings of guilt or shame they can’t put into words.Regaining a Sense of Control: In situations where someone feels powerless, like dealing with trauma, a toxic relationship, or a mental health condition, choosing to harm themselves may provide a sense of control over something, even if it���s not healthy. The act becomes something they can predict and direct when other parts of life feel unpredictable.Feeling Something When Emotionally Numb:��Emotional numbness, or dissociation, is a common response to trauma, depression, or chronic stress. Some people use self-harm to “wake up” from numbness or to feel something real. For instance, a person might say, ���I just needed to know I could still feel.���Self-Punishment:��Feelings of self-hatred, shame, or guilt can drive a person to self-punish. They may believe they deserve pain or that hurting themselves will atone for a perceived wrong. For example, someone who feels they���ve failed at work or in a relationship might harm themselves as a way of expressing self-directed anger.

In short, self-harm is a coping strategy. It may offer short-term relief, but it comes with serious risks, and it doesn’t solve the root problem. That���s where DBT comes in.

Understanding the reasons behind self-harm is not about justifying the behavior, but about compassionately exploring the needs and feelings behind it. It���s a first step. When you understand the needs and the way self-harm is helping the individual, then you can find healthier ways to meet those needs���whether it’s through therapy, support groups, DBT skills, mindfulness, or creative expression���but healing often begins with understanding. In short, self-harm is a coping strategy.����

One of the best treatments is Dialectical Behavior Therapy, also known as DBT. DBT is not just any therapy. It���s a game-changer, especially for adults who use self-harm as a coping mechanism. DBT helps people manage emotions, reduce self-harm urges, and create a fulfilling life.

What Is DBT?

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a talk therapy. It was made to help people with borderline personality disorder. But over the years, research has shown that DBT is helpful for many kinds of emotional struggles, especially��self-harm, suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety.

DBT is different from traditional therapy because it focuses on building specific skills. These skills help people learn how to manage big emotions, deal with stress, and improve their relationships.

Most importantly,��DBT teaches healthier ways to cope with pain, so you no longer have to rely on self-harming behaviors.

How DBT Helps Adults Stop Self-Harming

DBT works by helping you understand your emotions and learn new ways to cope with them, without hurting yourself.

In an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for adults, our skilled DBT therapists are there to help you focus on self-harming behaviors. Here���s how DBT in an adult IOP helps:

It Teaches Distress Tolerance

When people feel overwhelmed, they often turn to self-harm to get quick relief. DBT teaches��distress tolerance skills���healthy ways to get through painful emotions without making things worse.

Instead of cutting or burning, you learn to use grounding exercises, distraction techniques, or self-soothing activities. Over time, these new habits help you ride out tough moments without turning to self-harm.

It Builds Emotional Regulation

Many adults who self-harm feel like their emotions are ���too big��� or too hard to handle. DBT teaches you how to��name your emotions, understand them, and respond in healthy ways.

When you can manage your emotions better, you feel less out of control, and the urge to self-harm often gets smaller.

It Improves Coping Skills

DBT helps you replace harmful behaviors with��more effective coping skills. For example, you���ll learn how to deal with rejection, failure, or stress in ways that don���t involve hurting yourself.

You���ll also learn how to��plan ahead��for high-risk situations and build a toolkit of skills to use when things get tough.

It Increases Mindfulness

One big part of DBT is mindfulness. This means��learning to stay in the present moment��instead of getting lost in painful memories or scary thoughts about the future.

Mindfulness helps you pause before reacting, notice your thoughts without judgment, and choose your actions more carefully. This is key in breaking the cycle of self-harm.

It Helps You Build a Life Worth Living

Self-harm often happens when people feel hopeless or like their lives don���t matter. DBT helps you set goals, improve relationships, and create a life that feels meaningful.

When you feel more connected, more capable, and more hopeful, you���re much less likely to turn to self-harm.

You Deserve Support

If you���re struggling with self-harm, it doesn���t mean you���re broken. It means you���ve been doing your best to survive���and now, it���s time to learn a better way.

DBT gives you the tools to stop hurting yourself and start healing. In an adult IOP at Houston DBT Center, you���ll get the help you need to build a life that feels worth living.

You don���t have to do this alone.��Help is out there���and a DBT based adult IOP can make all the difference.

Find Support for Self-Harm and Begin Healing with an Adult IOP in Houston, TX

If you’re struggling with self-harm and feel ready to take the next step toward healing, the compassionate team at Houston DBT Center is here to help. Our program offers practical tools and meaningful support through a structured adult IOP designed to guide you toward lasting change. Reach out today to start your journey���because you deserve support that truly works. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Call��713-973-2800��or email��administration@houstondbtcenter.com��today for a free consultation.Meet with a��skilled DBT therapist��to evaluate your needs and goals.Begin your healing journey!Additional Services Offered by Houston DBT Center

At��Houston DBT Center, our��Adult IOP��is just one part of the wide range of services we offer to help you heal with self-harm. We also provide targeted��trauma treatments��such as��DBT,��EMDR, and CPT, along with��Radically Open DBT, a��Teen IOP,��parent coaching, and��play therapy. Our team of over��15 dedicated therapists��delivers holistic mental health support and works closely with families to ensure meaningful progress. Don���t forget to visit our��blog��for additional resources and support!

The post Why a DBT Based Adult IOP is a Game-Changer for Adults Struggling with Self-Harm appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

Resolving Conflict the Gottman Way

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Whether you���ve been together for months or decades, disagreements will happen. But the good news? It���s not the presence of conflict that predicts relationship success���it���s how you handle it.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, leading relationship experts, have studied couples for decades and found that successful relationships aren���t conflict-free���they���re conflict-smart. The way you argue matters more than the fact that you argue. Their research-backed approach helps couples navigate disagreements with respect, understanding, and connection.

So, how can you resolve conflict the Gottman way and turn arguments into connection? Let���s break it down.

1. Start Soft: The Gentle Start-Up

How you begin a conflict discussion sets the tone for the entire conversation. The Gottmans found that conversations that start harshly (with blame, criticism, or sarcasm) usually end badly. Instead, use a gentle start-up, focusing on ���I��� statements and describing your feelings rather than attacking your partner.

 

Harsh Start-Up Example:
“You never listen to me! You always just care about your phone and ignore me.”

Gentle Start-Up Example:
“I feel unimportant when I���m talking and you���re on your phone. Can we take a break from screens and connect for a bit?”

Notice the difference? One invites defensiveness, while the other invites conversation.

 

2. Accept Influence: Be Open to Your Partner���s Perspective

Successful couples don���t insist on being ���right��� all the time. Instead, they remain open to their partner���s thoughts and feelings. This means listening, considering their viewpoint, and making room for compromise.

 

Not Accepting Influence:
“I don���t care what you think���I���m the one who handles the finances, so we���re doing it my way!”

Accepting Influence:
“I know managing money stresses you out. Let���s sit down together and find a budget that works for both of us.”

When both partners feel heard and respected, conflict becomes a pathway to collaboration rather than control.

 

3. Listen to Understand, Not to Win

Have you ever caught yourself preparing your comeback instead of truly listening? That���s normal���but it���s also one of the biggest obstacles to resolving conflict. Instead of planning your defense, try actively listening with curiosity.

 

Tips for Active Listening:

Reflect back what your partner is saying (“So you���re feeling hurt because I forgot our plans���did I get that right?”).

Validate their emotions (“That makes sense, I���d feel frustrated too.”).

Ask open-ended questions (“What would help us fix this?”).

When you listen to understand, you create a safe space for honest communication.

 

4. Repair & De-Escalate: Finding Your Way Back

Even the best communicators sometimes get heated. The Gottmans emphasize repair attempts, which are small gestures to calm things down and keep the conversation from spiraling.

 

Repair Attempt Examples:

Humor (“Okay, let���s pause before we both say something we regret!”).

Physical touch (Reaching for their hand as a sign of connection).

Acknowledgment (“I���m getting worked up���can we take a short break?”).

A well-timed repair attempt can prevent an argument from turning into a full-blown fight.

 

5. Find the Dream Within the Conflict

Many arguments aren���t really about the surface-level issue. They���re about deeper needs, values, or fears. The Gottmans encourage couples to look beyond the disagreement and discover what���s truly at the heart of it.

Example:
Sarah and Jake argue constantly about household chores. Jake feels like Sarah is too critical, and Sarah feels like Jake doesn���t pull his weight. When they dig deeper, they realize:

Sarah grew up in a home where chores were a sign of love and care.

Jake grew up in a home where chores weren���t a big deal, and he feels micromanaged.

Understanding these deeper emotions allows them to approach the issue with compassion rather than frustration.

 

Final Thoughts: Conflict Can Bring You Closer

The way you handle conflict determines whether it creates distance or deepens your bond. By using the Gottman Method���starting soft, accepting influence, truly listening, repairing, and looking for the deeper meaning���you can turn arguments into opportunities for growth and connection.

Next time a disagreement arises, try these steps and notice the difference. A little effort in conflict resolution can transform your relationship for the better.

 

The post Resolving Conflict the Gottman Way appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Whether y...

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship. Whether you���ve been together for months or decades, disagreements will happen. But the good news? It���s not the presence of conflict that predicts relationship success���it���s how you handle it. Let’s learn to use conflict to strengthen our connections.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, leading relationship experts, have studied couples for decades and found that successful relationships aren���t conflict-free���they���re conflict-smart. The way you argue matters more than the fact that you argue. Their research-backed approach helps couples navigate disagreements with respect, understanding, and connection.

So, how can you resolve conflict the Gottman way? Let���s break it down.

 

1. Start Soft: The Gentle Start-Up

How you begin a conflict discussion sets the tone for the entire conversation. The Gottmans found that conversations that start harshly (with blame, criticism, or sarcasm) usually end badly. Instead, use a gentle start-up, focusing on ���I��� statements and describing your feelings rather than attacking your partner.

 

Harsh Start-Up Example:
“You never listen to me! You always just care about your phone and ignore me.”

Gentle Start-Up Example:
“I feel unimportant when I���m talking and you���re on your phone. Can we take a break from screens and connect for a bit?”

Notice the difference? One invites defensiveness, while the other invites conversation.

 

2. Accept Influence: Be Open to Your Partner���s Perspective

Successful couples don���t insist on being ���right��� all the time. Instead, they remain open to their partner���s thoughts and feelings. This means listening, considering their viewpoint, and making room for compromise.

 

Not Accepting Influence:
“I don���t care what you think���I���m the one who handles the finances, so we���re doing it my way!”

Accepting Influence:
“I know managing money stresses you out. Let���s sit down together and find a budget that works for both of us.”

When both partners feel heard and respected, conflict becomes a pathway to collaboration rather than control.

 

3. Listen to Understand, Not to Win

Have you ever caught yourself preparing your comeback instead of truly listening? That���s normal���but it���s also one of the biggest obstacles to resolving conflict. Instead of planning your defense, try actively listening with curiosity.

 

Tips for Active Listening:

Reflect back what your partner is saying (“So you���re feeling hurt because I forgot our plans���did I get that right?”).Validate their emotions (“That makes sense, I���d feel frustrated too.”).Ask open-ended questions (“What would help us fix this?”).

When you listen to understand, you create a safe space for honest communication.

 

4. Repair & De-Escalate: Finding Your Way Back

Even the best communicators sometimes get heated. The Gottmans emphasize repair attempts, which are small gestures to calm things down and keep the conversation from spiraling.

 

Repair Attempt Examples:

Humor (“Okay, let���s pause before we both say something we regret!”).

Physical touch (Reaching for their hand as a sign of connection).

Acknowledgment (“I���m getting worked up���can we take a short break?”).

A well-timed repair attempt can prevent an argument from turning into a full-blown fight.

5. Find the Dream Within the Conflict

Many arguments aren���t really about the surface-level issue. They���re about deeper needs, values, or fears. The Gottmans encourage couples to look beyond the disagreement and discover what���s truly at the heart of it.

 

Example:
Sarah and Jake argue constantly about household chores. Jake feels like Sarah is too critical, and Sarah feels like Jake doesn���t pull his weight. When they dig deeper, they realize:

Sarah grew up in a home where chores were a sign of love and care.

Jake grew up in a home where chores weren���t a big deal, and he feels micromanaged.

Understanding these deeper emotions allows them to approach the issue with compassion rather than frustration.

 

Final Thoughts: Conflict Can Bring You Closer

The way you handle conflict determines whether it creates distance or deepens your bond. By using the Gottman Method���starting soft, accepting influence, truly listening, repairing, and looking for the deeper meaning���you can turn arguments into opportunities for growth and connection.

Next time a disagreement arises, try these steps and notice the difference. A little effort in conflict resolution can transform your relationship for the better. ��Contact us at 713-973-2800 or www.houstondbtcenter.com to get started on building your conflict resolution skills.

 

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Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: How a DBT IOP Can Help Emotionally Sensitive Adults

Rejection is hard for everyone. If you often feel hurt by rejection or criticism, you���re not alone. Many people struggle with emotional pain when they feel judged, left out, or not good enough. But did you know there are actually��two��different things that can cause this?

Emotionally sensitive people may suffer from rejection sensitivity. They worry about being rejected or overthink things. They may be people, please avoid rejection. But when someone has�� Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria,�� it can feel like the world is ending. A small comment, a delayed text, or a change in someone���s tone can trigger deep feelings of pain, fear, or shame. The pain of rejection is intense and can be overwhelming. People with RSD are more likely to interpret interactions as rejection when there is no actual rejection. They also find it very difficult to control their emotional reactions.��

Let���s break down the difference between��rejection sensitivity��and��rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) so you can better understand what you might be feeling and how to get help from an adult intensive outpatient program.

What Is Rejection Sensitivity?

Rejection Sensitivity��is when someone feels extra sensitive to the idea of being rejected, judged, or criticized. You might spend a lot of time worrying about what others think or replaying conversations in your head.

Common Signs of Rejection Sensitivity:Worrying that people are upset with youReading into people���s tone or facial expressionsFeeling anxious in relationshipsTrying hard to please others or avoid conflictFeeling hurt by small things that others may not even noticeWho Might Struggle With RSD?

RSD is most common in people with��ADHD��or who are��neurodivergent. It���s part of the emotional dysregulation that often comes with those conditions.

The basic difference is the intensity of the reaction to rejection or perceived rejection. If you���re someone who often feels crushed by rejection���or the��fear��of rejection���you’re not alone. Many adults with rejection sensitivity or RSD face mood swings, low self-esteem, and relationship issues.

A strong treatment choice is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy Intensive Outpatient Program (DBT IOP). These programs help adults take charge of their emotions. They aim to build a fulfilling life, even when things get tough.

Let���s take a closer look at how rejection sensitivity affects your life and how a DBT IOP can help.

People with rejection sensitivity might:Feel hurt, anxious, or angry after small social interactionsWorry often about being left out or not likedTake things personally, even if they weren���t meant that wayReplay conversations in their mind, wondering what they did wrongAvoid relationships or speaking up due to fear of rejectionHear ���no��� as a rejection of them as a personAvoid situations, such as trying for promotions, out of fear of rejection

This pattern often starts early in life. It can come from experiences like bullying, emotional neglect, or trauma. The brain learns to scan for signs of danger, especially in relationships. A small sign, like a friend not texting back quickly, can feel like proof that you’re being pushed away or judged.

Over time, this sensitivity can make life feel like a constant emotional rollercoaster. It can lead to isolation, people-pleasing, or intense outbursts. That���s where DBT can make a big difference.

How to Get Help

No matter which one you relate to, the good news is that help is available. Many adults find relief through therapy programs like��Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which teaches skills to manage intense emotions and build stronger relationships.

If your reactions feel explosive or out of your control, and you also have ADHD or think you might, you may want to explore treatment options for RSD, including��ADHD��medication,��which��has��been��shown��to��help.

Let���s take a closer look at rejection sensitivity, how it affects your life, and how a DBT skills in an adult IOP can help.

How DBT Skills Learned in an Adult IOP Help Emotionally Sensitive Adults

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was created to help people who feel emotions very strongly. A DBT IOP is a more structured, focused version of DBT that meets several times a week. It���s perfect for adults who need more support than once-a-week therapy but don���t need full hospitalization.

In a DBT IOP, you learn specific skills that can help you manage rejection sensitivity. Here���s how:

Mindfulness Skills

Mindfulness teaches you how to stay present. When you���re mindful, you can notice your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. Instead of jumping to the worst-case scenario, you can pause and ask, ���What else could this mean?���

Example: Your friend didn���t text back. Instead of assuming they���re mad at you, you practice mindful thinking: ���Maybe they���re busy. I don���t have to panic.���

Emotion Regulation

DBT helps you understand where your feelings come from and how to manage them. With emotion regulation, you���ll learn how to reduce vulnerability to emotional pain and respond to feelings in a balanced way.

Example: When you feel rejected, instead of lashing out or shutting down, you use your skills to stay calm, name the emotion, and choose a healthy way to respond.

Distress Tolerance

Sometimes emotions are just hard, and that���s okay. DBT teaches coping strategies to get through emotional pain without making things worse.

Example: You feel rejected after a hard conversation. Instead of sending an angry message, you use skills like deep breathing, holding ice, or taking a walk to cool down.

Interpersonal Effectiveness

This part of DBT teaches you how to speak up, set boundaries, and build stronger relationships. You���ll learn how to ask for what you need without fear, guilt, or overreaction.

Example: If a loved one says something that hurts you, you learn how to talk to them clearly and respectfully, instead of shutting them out or exploding.

Why an Adult IOP Format Works So Well

In an adult IOP, you don���t just learn the skills, you practice them in real time. You meet several days a week with a skilled DBT therapist and a group of people who are working through similar issues. This support system makes a big difference.

You get:

Frequent feedback and guidanceReal-life practice in handling emotions and relationshipsA community that understands what you���re going throughA safe place to try new behaviors without judgment

You stop feeling broken or ���too much.��� Instead, you realize your emotions make sense. You can also learn to manage them.

You’re Not Alone

If rejection feels like a wound that never heals, it doesn���t mean you���re weak. It means you���ve been hurt, and your nervous system is trying to protect you. But healing is possible.

A DBT IOP can help you feel more in control, more connected, and more hopeful. With the right support, you can shift from reacting to rejection to responding with strength. You deserve relationships where you feel safe, seen, and supported���and DBT can help you get there.

Ready to learn more about how DBT IOP can help with rejection sensitivity? Reach out to Houston DBT Center to find out if our adult DBT Intensive Outpatient Program is the right fit for you.

Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria With an Adult Intensive Outpatient Program in Houston, TX

If you’re struggling with rejection sensitivity dysphoria and want practical, evidence-based tools to manage your emotions, our adult IOP can help. The Houston DBT Center offers a supportive and structured environment where you can build resilience and gain the skills you need to thrive. Take the first step toward lasting change���reach out today to learn more about our program and how it can support your healing journey. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Call��713-973-2800��or email��administration@houstondbtcenter.com��today for a free consultation.Meet with a��skilled DBT therapist��to evaluate your needs and goals.Begin overcoming rejection sensitivity dysphoria!Additional Services Offered by Houston DBT Center

At Houston DBT Center, our Adult IOP is just one part of the wide range of services we offer to help you overcome rejection sensitivity dysphoria. We also provide targeted trauma treatments such as DBT, EMDR, and CPT, along with Radically Open DBT, a Teen IOP, parent coaching, and play therapy. Our team of over 15 dedicated therapists delivers holistic mental health support and works closely with families to ensure meaningful progress. Don���t forget to visit our blog for additional resources and support!

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How Our DBT Adult IOP Program Helps You Stop Falling in the Same Hole

Have you ever heard the story about a person walking down the same street every day and falling into the same hole?

It goes like this:

Chapter One:��I walk down the street. There���s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I���m lost… it takes forever to get out. It���s not my fault.

Two: I’m walking down the same street. There���s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I still fall in… but I know where I am. It���s my fault.

Three:��I walk down the same street. There���s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it… I still fall in.

Four: I’m walking down the same street. I walk around the hole.

Five:��I walk down a different street.

This story is a lot like the journey people take when they start Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) in an Adult Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). Many people come to therapy feeling stuck, like they keep making the same choices, feeling the same emotions, and falling into the same unhealthy patterns���even when they don���t want to.��

Change is hard. Even when we��know��something isn���t working, it can feel impossible to do things differently. It���s like our brain keeps walking down the same road, heading straight for that hole again.

What Is DBT in an Adult IOP?

DBT is a type of therapy that teaches people skills to manage emotions, deal with stress, handle relationships better, and make safer, healthier choices. In an Adult IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program), clients attend several group sessions each week and often have individual therapy too. It���s more support than once-a-week therapy, but still lets you live at home and work on real-life challenges in real time.

The structure of IOP helps a lot. Clients don���t just talk about their problems���they learn real tools they can use every day. They practice these tools again and again, so new habits can take root.

Learning to See the Hole

In the beginning, most people don���t even realize there���s a hole. They���re reacting to life on autopilot���yelling when they feel hurt, shutting down when overwhelmed, or reaching for something harmful to escape a painful emotion.

Self-awareness is the first step. DBT helps clients notice their thoughts and actions without judgment. This is the first big step. When someone can say, ���Oh wow, I always react this way when I feel abandoned,��� they���ve started to��see the hole.

Learning to Walk Around It

Once people see the pattern, it���s still not easy to make changes. Knowing the hole is there doesn���t mean you automatically walk around it. Sometimes, even when you��know��what���s going to happen, your body and brain go into autopilot. You might catch yourself thinking,�����I said I wouldn���t do this again��� so why am I doing it?���

That���s where DBT comes in. It gives people the tools to try something different���and��keep trying,��even when it���s hard.

Building New Skills in IOP

In IOP, clients work with a skilled therapist to practice these tools again and again:

Mindfulness ����� to slow down and notice what���s happening in the moment. For example, someone might realize during an argument,�����I feel heat in my chest and my fists are clenching. I���m about to yell.��� That pause, just noticing, creates a tiny space where a new choice can happen.Distress Tolerance����� to survive painful feelings without making things worse. Let���s say someone feels rejected after being ghosted. Their first instinct might be to drink or self-harm to numb the pain. DBT teaches safer tools like holding ice, taking a cold shower, or doing intense exercise to ride out the storm instead. Emotion Regulation ����� to understand and manage emotions instead of being controlled by them. If someone tends to spiral into hopelessness, DBT helps them track their moods, learn what triggers big feelings, and build habits that help���like getting enough sleep, eating regular meals, or doing something they enjoy, even when they don���t feel like it.Interpersonal Effectiveness ��� to speak up, set boundaries, and build healthier relationships. For example, someone might usually avoid conflict and just go along with things to keep the peace. In DBT, they might practice saying, ���I feel hurt when you cancel plans without telling me. I want us to be honest with each other.��� That���s a huge step toward walking around the hole.Progress, Not Perfection: What DBT in IOP Makes Possible

Each skill is like learning how to take a step around the hole. But change takes time. Sometimes people fall in again.

They might yell, shut down, isolate, lash out, or give in to old urges. But now, instead of being stuck, they recognize the pattern. They don���t stay down as long. Maybe ask for help. They try again. That���s progress. Not perfection���just progress. Every time they use a skill, even a little, it���s like building a stronger path. Eventually, that new road becomes familiar. And one day, they look back and realize��� It���s been a while since they fell in the hole at all.

That���s what DBT in IOP makes possible.

Walking a New Road

Eventually, people begin to make different choices. They stop reacting the same way. They start pausing, thinking, and choosing a new behavior. They strengthen their relationships. They start walking down a different street.

This kind of change doesn���t happen overnight. It takes practice, courage, and support. That���s what makes Adult IOP so powerful. It gives people a safe, structured place to learn, fall, get back up, and keep going.

Final Thoughts

If you���ve felt stuck in the same patterns, DBT in an Adult IOP program at Houston DBT Center might be the path to something new. It���s not easy, but it���s worth it.

You deserve to walk a road that doesn���t lead to the same painful hole. You deserve to build a life that feels worth living.

Are you ready to take the first step? Contact us now at 713-973-2800 or email administration@dbtcenterhouston.com.

 

Break Free from Emotional Struggles With Adult IOP in Houston, TX

If you���re feeling stuck in unhealthy patterns and want lasting change, our evidence-based DBT program can help you build a life that feels more balanced and in control. The Houston DBT Center offers compassionate, structured support through our adult intensive outpatient program. Take the first step toward freedom and healing���reach out today to learn more. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Call��713-973-2800��or email��administration@houstondbtcenter.com��today for a free consultation.Meet with a��skilled DBT therapist��to evaluate your needs and goals.Begin breaking unhealthy patterns!Additional Services Offered by Houston DBT Center

At Houston DBT Center, our Adult IOP is just one part of the wide range of services we offer to help you move beyond unhelpful patterns. We also provide targeted trauma treatments such as DBT, EMDR, and CPT, along with Radically Open DBT, a Teen IOP, parent coaching, and play therapy. Our team of over 15 dedicated therapists delivers holistic mental health support and works closely with families to ensure meaningful progress. Don���t forget to visit our blog for additional resources and support!

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Cyberbullying Has Lasting Effects on Teens

Title: The Long-Term Effects of Cyberbullying: What You Need to Know

Meta Description:
Cyberbullying can leave more than emotional bruises���it can cause long-term issues like depression, addiction, and chronic loneliness. Learn the lasting effects and how to get support.

What Is Cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying happens when someone uses digital platforms���like social media, texting, or gaming���to harass, threaten, embarrass, or target another person. Unlike traditional bullying, it can occur 24/7 and follow someone home. While often seen as ���just words,��� cyberbullying can cause deep and long-lasting emotional, psychological, and physical harm (Kowalski et al., 2014).

1. Chronic Mental Health Challenges

Cyberbullying increases the risk of long-term emotional problems like anxiety, depression, and even post-traumatic stress. Victims may experience suicidal thoughts, emotional dysregulation, or panic attacks. A longitudinal study found that youth exposed to cyberbullying were significantly more likely to develop depression and psychological distress well into adulthood (Sourander et al., 2010).

2. Addiction and Risky Coping

To numb the emotional pain, some individuals turn to substances or compulsive behaviors like social media, online shopping, or video gaming. Research has shown a link between cyberbullying victimization and increased substance use, especially among adolescents (Bannink et al., 2014). Without intervention, these behaviors may evolve into long-term dependence.

3. Low Self-Esteem and Identity Struggles

Cyberbullying attacks often focus on a person���s looks, identity, or social status. Over time, repeated bullying can erode self-worth, leading to persistent shame and insecurity (Patchin & Hinduja, 2010). Victims may develop perfectionism, people-pleasing tendencies, or chronic self-doubt���patterns that interfere with personal growth and confidence.

4. Loneliness: A Hidden but Harmful Effect

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One of the most overlooked effects of cyberbullying is chronic loneliness. Many victims withdraw from peers to avoid further pain or humiliation. This self-isolation can become a long-term pattern that damages emotional health.

The Real Cost of Loneliness

According to research by Holt-Lunstad et al. (2015), loneliness can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It is linked to:

Depression and anxiety

Substance abuse

Sleep disturbances

Increased inflammation and higher risk of chronic illness

Premature mortality

For teens especially, loneliness affects brain development, identity formation, and trust in others. Victims may appear ���fine��� online while suffering deeply in silence.

5. Relationship and Trust Issues

Cyberbullying can make it difficult to trust others or feel safe in relationships. Many victims struggle to form close friendships or intimate partnerships later in life. Studies suggest that past experiences of bullying can negatively affect adult attachment and relationship quality (Wolke & Lereya, 2015).

6. Academic and Career Challenges

Cyberbullying affects attention, memory, and motivation���making it harder for students to focus or engage in learning. Victims may skip school, fall behind academically, or even drop out. These issues can carry into adulthood, reducing long-term educational and career opportunities (Beran & Li, 2007).

7. Physical Health Consequences

The stress of bullying doesn���t just stay in the mind���it impacts the body. Chronic stress caused by cyberbullying can trigger a range of physical symptoms:

Headaches and stomachaches

Fatigue and muscle tension

Sleep problems

Eating disturbances

Stress hormones like cortisol can remain elevated for long periods, weakening the immune system and contributing to inflammation-related diseases (Danese & McEwen, 2012).

Healing Is Possible

While the effects of cyberbullying are serious, recovery is absolutely possible. Early support and skill-building therapy can help people rebuild confidence, regulate emotions, and re-establish safe connections.

Programs like Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teach emotion regulation, mindfulness, and distress tolerance���giving teens and adults the tools they need to move forward. Group therapy and IOPs (Intensive Outpatient Programs) can also provide validation, community, and hope.

Final Thoughts

Cyberbullying can leave scars that last for years���but those scars don���t have to define your life. From emotional pain to social isolation, the long-term effects are real and often invisible. Chronic loneliness, in particular, can quietly erode your health and happiness.

But healing is possible. With the right support, people can learn to trust again, cope in healthier ways, and rebuild a life that feels meaningful and safe.

Need Support in Houston?
At the DBT Center of Houston, we help teens and adults recover from cyberbullying, anxiety, depression, and trauma. Our DBT-based programs are designed to give clients the tools to heal and thrive. Learn more or contact us today.

References

Bannink, R., Broeren, S., van de Looij-Jansen, P. M., de Waart, F. G., & Raat, H. (2014). Cyber and traditional bullying victimization as a risk factor for mental health problems and suicidal ideation in adolescents. PLoS ONE, 9(4), e94026.

Beran, T., & Li, Q. (2007). The relationship between cyberbullying and school bullying. Journal of Student Wellbeing, 1(2), 15���33.

Danese, A., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Adverse childhood experiences, allostasis, allostatic load, and age-related disease. Physiology & Behavior, 106(1), 29���39.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227���237.

Kowalski, R. M., Giumetti, G. W., Schroeder, A. N., & Lattanner, M. R. (2014). Bullying in the digital age: A critical review and meta-analysis of cyberbullying research among youth. Psychological Bulletin, 140(4), 1073���1137.

Patchin, J. W., & Hinduja, S. (2010). Cyberbullying and self-esteem. Journal of School Health, 80(12), 614���621.

Sourander, A., Klomek, A. B., Ikonen, M., Lindroos, J., Luntamo, T., Koskelainen, M., … & Helenius, H. (2010). Psychosocial risk factors associated with cyberbullying among adolescents. Archives of General Psychiatry, 67(7), 720���728.

Wolke, D., & Lereya, S. T. (2015). Long-term effects of bullying. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 100(9), 879���885.

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Teen Mental Health: Is IOP for Your Teen?

Being a teen today isn���t easy. Between school pressure, social media, family issues, and growing up, it���s normal for teens to feel stressed or overwhelmed at times. But what happens when those feelings don���t go away���or get worse? If your teen is struggling with their mental health, you may be wondering:��Do they need more than weekly therapy? Is it time for something more structured? Research shows that early intervention is critical.

That���s where our��Teen Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)��can help. At��Houston DBT Center, we provide compassionate, evidence-based care to teens and families who need more support than traditional therapy offers.

 

What Is a Teen IOP?

A Teen IOP is a structured mental health program that provides more support than weekly therapy���but without the need for a hospital stay. At the same time, busy teens have limited time and an overload of therapy time can turn them against therapy. We���ve found that 5 hours a week is enough to be effective and is doable for most teens. Teens attend 2 days a week for two hours each day (4 to 6) and then have an individual session which is outside the IOP

Research shows that treatment is more effective when the family/caregivers are involved so we offer a 2 hour parent group as well. That���s a total of 6 hours of IOP (4 hours for the teens and 2 hours for the parents) plus the individual session that is in addition to the IOP. If your teen already has an individual therapist they can continue to work with them.

At��Houston DBT Center���s Teen IOP in Houston, we focus on building real-life skills in a supportive environment so teens can thrive both at home and at school. Teens learn and practice new, healthier ways of coping.

Signs Your Teen May Need More Than Weekly Therapy

It���s normal for teens to have ups and downs, but some signs suggest they need more support:

Their mood or behavior is getting worse

If your teen seems more angry, withdrawn, anxious, or depressed���and it���s lasting for weeks or months���it may be time for more intensive treatment.

They���re struggling with self-harm or thoughts of suicide

Any sign of cutting, burning, or talk about wanting to die should be taken seriously. These are red flags that your teen needs more than once-a-week support.

They���re avoiding school, friends, or activities they used to enjoy

When a teen starts isolating, skipping school, or dropping out of activities they once loved, it could mean their emotional struggles are interfering with daily life.

You���ve tried weekly therapy, but progress is slow

If your teen has been in therapy for a while and isn���t getting better���or seems to be getting worse���our��DBT IOP for teens in Houston��might give them the extra support they need to move forward.

They���re having intense emotional outbursts

Big mood swings, panic attacks, or extreme reactions to stress may signal that your teen is overwhelmed and needs help learning how to regulate their emotions.

What Makes Our Houston Teen IOP Different?

In our program, teens:

Learn evidence-based DBT skills like��mindfulness,��emotion regulation, interpersonal effectiveness and��distress toleranceResearch has shown the effectiveness of DBTParticipate in group skills classes with peers who understand what they���re going through and they learn from the ways other teens practice the skillsWork with licensed therapists trained in adolescent mental healthGet help with goals like improving school attendance, managing anxiety, or rebuilding trust with parents

We serve teens in��Houston, Bellaire, Memorial, Katy, West University, Sugar Land, and surrounding areas. Our teen IOP is in person.

Why Early Help Matters

Many teens hide how bad they feel. By the time their pain is visible on the outside, they may already be in crisis. Getting help early���before things hit a breaking point���can prevent hospitalization, school drop-out, and long-term suffering.

Our��Teen IOP in Houston��is designed to intervene early, offering structure, safety, and real tools for change.

What Parents in Houston Can Do

If you’re worried about your teen, here���s what you can do today:

Start the conversation.��Ask how they���ve been feeling. Listen more than you speak.Watch for warning signs.��If you see big changes in mood, behavior, or energy, don���t ignore them.Call a local expert.��At Houston DBT Center, we offer free 20 minute phone consultations to help you decide if our��Teen DBT IOP��is the right fit.Know you���re not alone.��Many Houston-area families are going through this too���and finding hope through support and skill-building.

Ready to Learn More?

If you���re looking for effective, compassionate care for your teen, we���re here to help.

Located in��Houston, Texas, our center specializes in��DBT therapy for teens, including intensive outpatient care for depression, anxiety, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.

Contact us at 713-973-2800 or visit��www.houstondbtcenter.com to schedule a free 15 or 20 minute consultation.

��You don���t have to wait until things get worse. With the right support, your teen can begin to heal���and your family can find relief, together.

��

 

Interested in help for your teen’s depression or anxiety or other mental health concerns? ��Let’s talk together about IOP and other options. Reach out to DBT Center today! Click Here To Contact DBT Center

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How DBT Supports Better Impulse Control and Decision-Making in an Adult IOP

Have you ever made a decision in the heat of the moment and regretted it later? Maybe you said something you didn���t mean, spent money you couldn���t afford, or picked up a harmful habit again. If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with impulse control, especially during times of emotional stress. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is a powerful treatment approach that can help.

In an Adult Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), DBT provides support and structure. It helps people slow down, manage urges, and make better choices in real life. DBT helps adults improve impulse control and decision-making. Let���s look at how it works, one skill at a time (and these are just a few of the skills that will be helpful in making better decisions).

What Is DBT?

DBT means Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Dr. Marsha Linehan created it for people who feel strong emotions. It helps them control their actions better. DBT started as a treatment for borderline personality disorder. Now, it helps with many mental health issues. These include anxiety, depression, addiction, PTSD, and others.

In an Adult IOP program, DBT is taught in groups and supported by individual therapy. Our program is four days a week for two hours a day. Clients learn practical skills and get real-time coaching and feedback from skilled DBT therapists. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s about being more mindful, in control, and better at handling life’s challenges.

Why Do We Struggle With Impulse Control?

Before learning how DBT helps, it���s key to know why impulse control is challenging.

When we feel strong emotions���like anger, fear, shame, or sadness���our brain goes into survival mode. The ���thinking brain��� (prefrontal cortex) slows down. Then, the ���reactive brain��� (amygdala) takes charge. Our brain sees this as a threat situation, and it goes into fight/flight. This works well when we need to escape real danger, like running from a wild animal. But it’s not useful when we���re trying to talk through a problem or make smart choices.

How Emotional Reactions Show Up in Daily Life

For example, if someone says something hurtful during an argument, the reactive brain might make you yell, slam a door, or say something you don���t really mean. You might feel like you have to defend yourself right away instead of calmly solving the issue.

In school or at work, pressure or stress can also trigger the reactive brain. If a teacher or boss gives you criticism, you might feel attacked and suddenly want to quit, argue, or shut down instead of listening and learning. These quick, emotional reactions can cause more problems later.

For people with ADHD or other neurodivergent brains, the reactive brain may take over even faster. They might feel emotions more intensely and have a harder time slowing down their response. For example, someone with ADHD might blurt out something in frustration, walk out of class, or give up on a task that feels overwhelming. It���s not because they���re trying to be difficult���it���s because their brain reacts quickly and strongly to stress or conflict.

The Role of The Reactive Brain

The reactive brain acts fast to protect us, but it doesn���t always help us do what���s best in the long run. That���s why it���s important to learn ways to calm down and bring the thinking brain back online before we act.

Impulse control is the ability to pause, think, and act in a way that aligns with our values and goals. It���s something anyone can learn to strengthen, just like a muscle.

DBT���s Four Skill Modules

DBT teaches four key skill groups. These skills work together to boost impulse control and decision-making:

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps us pause and see what���s happening now, without judgment. When we are mindful, we are more aware of our thoughts, feelings, and urges. Being aware is the first step. It helps us make smart choices instead of just reacting.

In DBT IOP groups, clients practice skills like:

Observing��your thoughts, emotions, and body sensationsDescribing��what you’re experiencing with wordsParticipating��fully in the moment without overthinkingDoing one thing at a timeLetting go of judgment2.��Distress Tolerance

Distress Tolerance skills teach us how to survive a crisis or intense emotion without making the situation worse. This is where we learn to ���ride the wave��� of emotion instead of being swallowed by it.

Surfing The Urge

One of the most powerful tools in this module is�����Surfing the Urge.���

Imagine a fighter pilot in training. When they first start flying, they might get sick from the motion. But with time and practice, they learn to��tolerate the feeling��without vomiting. The same goes for emotional urges. We may feel a strong urge to yell, quit, use a substance, or shut down���but we can learn to ride that urge like a wave. This is called urge surfing.

Urge surfing is a skill that helps you get through strong emotions or impulses without acting on them. Here’s how it works:

Notice the urge����� First, you recognize that you’re having a strong urge or emotion. Maybe your heart is racing, your fists are tight, or you feel like screaming or walking away.Name it����� Say to yourself, ���I���m feeling the urge to ____.��� Naming it helps you take a step back and see the urge instead of being controlled by it.Breathe and observe����� Take slow, deep breaths. Notice where you feel the urge in your body. Is it in your chest, stomach, hands, or head? Just observe it without trying to push it away.Imagine the urge like a wave����� Think of the urge like an ocean wave. It builds up, gets strong, and then slowly goes back down. Most urges don���t last more than 30 minutes. If you can ride it out without reacting, it will pass.Stay curious, not judgmental����� Try to be kind to yourself. You���re not doing anything wrong by feeling the urge. You’re practicing a new skill.Choose your action����� Once the wave passes, use your thinking brain to decide what to do next���something that lines up with your goals and values.Strengthening Your Skills Over Time

Just like the fighter pilot, you get stronger and more skilled with practice. The more you ride the waves, the easier it becomes to stay in control and not let urges steer the plane. Riding the urge lets us pause and let the emotional storm pass. Then, we can respond more effectively.

In IOP groups, people learn and practice other distress tolerance skills like:

TIPP��(changing your body temperature and activity to calm down)Self-soothing��with the five sensesDistraction��with healthy activitiesImproving the momentRadical acceptance��of what you can���t change 3. Emotion Regulation

Emotion Regulation skills help us see where our feelings come from. They also teach us how to manage feelings without ignoring them or reacting too fast.

You���ll learn:

Naming and tracking your emotionsReducing emotional vulnerability by taking care of your body and mindBuilding positive experiencesChanging emotions with opposite actions��(like doing something kind when you feel angry)

When you know your emotional patterns, you can respond better to feelings. This helps you make choices that support your long-term goals.

4. Interpersonal Effectiveness

This module focuses on relationships, but it���s just as important for decision-making. When we struggle with impulse control, it often shows up in how we communicate, set boundaries, or respond to others.

You���ll learn:

How to��ask for what you needTo say no��and maintain self-respectHow to balance��being kind��with��being firmAnd to build relationships��that support your goals

Improving communication and relationship skills helps people think before they act. This means they are less likely to be impulsive in social situations. Also, they are more likely to stand up for themselves in smart and effective ways.

The DBT Decision-Making Model

DBT teaches a clear, step-by-step method for decision-making, especially during emotional times. It���s called the��DBT Decision-Making Model, and it goes like this:

Stop and Breathe:��Pause before acting. Take a few deep breaths and notice what���s happening inside you.Name the Emotion and Urge: Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What do I feel like doing?Check the Facts:��Is the situation as bad as it feels? Are you reacting to a thought or a fact?Ask: Will this action help me in the long run?��Is this choice in line with your goals and values?Use a Skill:��Pick a DBT skill that fits the moment���like mindfulness, TIPP, or opposite action.Act Mindfully: Move forward with intention and awareness, not just on autopilot.

This model gives you a clear path to follow when your brain wants to panic or escape. Over time, it becomes more natural to stop, think, and choose a response that supports your life.

Real-Life Example: Using DBT to Pause and Choose

Let���s say Sam is in the Adult DBT IOP program. One evening, Sam gets into an argument with their partner. Their heart is racing, their face is hot, and they feel a strong urge to scream or leave the house. In the past, they might have stormed out and spent money they didn���t have or used substances to calm down.

But now, Sam has learned some DBT skills.

Instead of reacting right away, they pause and��breathe. They��name��their emotion (anger and hurt) and their urge (to run away and numb out). They check the facts. They see the argument is upsetting, but their partner didn���t mean harm. They were just overwhelmed, too.

Sam remembers their values: staying sober, being financially stable, and improving their relationship. They don’t act on the urge. Instead, they use the TIPP skill. This means splashing cold water on their face, taking a quick walk, and doing paced breathing. Once Sam calms down, they can come back and use their interpersonal skills to talk it out.

This may seem simple, but for someone who���s spent years reacting to strong feelings, it���s a huge win.

Why DBT Works in an Adult IOP Setting

An IOP is a perfect setting for DBT because it offers:

Structure and routine��to practice new skillsGroup support��and shared learningRegular coaching��to apply skills to real-life situationsAccountability��to stick with the program

Clients in an adult IOP don���t just talk about their problems���they learn how to handle them in the moment. They practice and get feedback. This helps them build real confidence. They learn to stay calm and in control, even when things get tough.

You���re Not Broken���You���re Learning

One of the most powerful messages in DBT is this:��You are not broken. You are learning.

Impulses don���t make you a bad person. They are simply your brain���s way of trying to handle big feelings. With practice and support, you can learn to respond wisely. The right skills will help you stay aligned with your goals.

If you���re in an Adult IOP program or thinking about one, remember this: every skill you learn is a tool. These tools help you create a life that feels worth living. You don���t have to be perfect. You just have to keep practicing.

Ready to Start Surfing the Urge?

If your emotions feel too strong, your impulses are intense, or you struggle with choices, DBT can help. You can learn to slow down, check the facts, ride the wave, and make decisions you���re proud of.

It���s not always easy, but it��is possible. With the support of the Houston DBT Center, the next time a wave of emotion comes crashing in, you won���t have to panic or fall. You���ll know how to surf it.

Take Control of Your Impulses and Improve Decision-Making with DBT at an Adult IOP in Houston, TX

If you’re struggling with impulse control or decision-making, an Adult IOP in Houston, TX focused on DBT can help you develop the skills needed to regain control. At Houston DBT Center, we specialize in supporting individuals through intensive DBT techniques that enhance emotional regulation and decision-making. Take the first step toward a more balanced and fulfilling life by joining our Adult IOP today! Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Call��713-973-2800��or email��administration@houstondbtcenter.com��today for a free consultation.Meet with a��skilled DBT therapist��to evaluate your needs and goals.Begin taking control of your impulses and improve your decision-making!Additional Services Offered by Houston DBT Center

At��Houston DBT Center, we provide more than just an��Adult IOP to support you in��taking control of your impulses and improve your decision-making. Our services also include specialized��trauma therapies��like��DBT, CPT, and��EMDR, as well as��Radically Open DBT,��Teen IOP,��parent coaching, and��play therapy. With a team of over��15 experienced therapists, we offer comprehensive care for various mental health challenges and collaborate closely with families for the best outcomes. Be sure to check out our��blog��for more helpful insights!

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