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Published on December 11, 2024 14:02

Loneliness During the Holidays

Whatever holiday you celebrate, it is often painted as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. Images of families gathered around tables, friends exchanging gifts, and the warmth of communal traditions are everywhere. But for many people, the holidays can bring a profound sense of loneliness.

Loneliness during the holidays is a quiet struggle that can be amplified by the festive atmosphere and the emphasis on family gatherings. Whether it’s due to distance from loved ones, the loss of someone dear, or simply feeling disconnected, this time of year can become a painful reminder of isolation.

Why the Holidays Can Intensify Loneliness

1. Social ExpectationsSociety often emphasizes family gatherings, big parties, and joyful celebrations during the holidays. These expectations can make those who are alone or feeling disconnected feel as though they are missing out or that something is wrong with them. They may feel rejected and unwanted. The pressure to be happy can make feelings of sadness or loneliness seem even more isolating. It can seem that everyone is happy but you.

��

2. Loss and GriefIf you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. Traditions that once brought joy may now feel hollow, and the empty seat at the table can deepen feelings of grief and isolation.

3. Social Media ComparisonIn today��s world, social media can make loneliness feel more acute. Seeing others post about holiday parties, family gatherings, or romantic getaways can lead to comparison, triggering feelings of inadequacy or isolation.

��

4. Distance and SeparationWhether due to work, finances, or other circumstances, not everyone has the ability to spend the holidays with loved ones. Physical distance from friends or family can make the season feel particularly lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people in other aspects of life.

Ways to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

1. Acknowledge Your FeelingsIt’s important to validate what you’re feeling instead of pushing it away. Loneliness, grief, and sadness are valid emotions, especially during times that emphasize connection. Allow yourself the space to feel without judgment.

��

2. Reach Out to OthersEven if you’re feeling isolated, there may be people in your life who are also experiencing loneliness. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or colleagues who might be alone. Sometimes, offering companionship to others can create meaningful connections.

3. VolunteerHelping others is a powerful way to combat loneliness. Volunteering for a local charity, shelter, or community organization can give you a sense of purpose and remind you of the shared humanity in all of us. It can also create opportunities to meet new people and build connections.

��

4. Create Your Own TraditionsIf you��re spending the holidays alone, take the opportunity to create your own special rituals. This could be anything from watching your favorite movies, cooking a special meal, or doing something creative like journaling or painting. Personalizing the holiday in this way can give it meaning, even in solitude.

5. Join a Group or Online CommunityIf you’re feeling isolated, consider joining a support group, hobby club, or online community. There are many virtual groups that cater to people experiencing loneliness, grief, or simply looking to connect with others during the holidays. Sometimes connecting with people who understand your experience can make you feel less alone.

��

6. Limit Social Media
If social media is making your loneliness worse, it’s okay to take a step back. Consider limiting your time online during the holidays or unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy. Instead, focus on activities that bring you genuine comfort.

��

7. Practice GratitudeIt can be hard to focus on the positive when you’re feeling lonely, but practicing gratitude��even in small doses��can shift your perspective. Take time each day to reflect on something you’re thankful for, whether it’s a warm cup of coffee, a good book, or a quiet moment to yourself.

Remember: You Are Not Alone

Loneliness during the holidays is more common than it may seem. It��s easy to believe that everyone else is surrounded by love and joy, but many people are quietly struggling with similar feelings. While the holidays may not feel the same for everyone, they can still offer moments of solace, growth, and reflection.

If you’re finding it difficult to cope with loneliness, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a community group, there are people who care and are willing to listen.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness during the holidays is a deeply personal experience, but it doesn’t have to define the season. By acknowledging your feelings and finding small ways to connect with others��or with yourself��you can create moments of meaning and comfort. While this time of year can be challenging, it can also be an opportunity to explore new ways of finding connection, even in the quiet moments.

Photo by Satish J.

��

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The post Loneliness During the Holidays appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on November 21, 2024 14:50

Lonely During the Holidays

Whatever holiday you celebrate, it is often painted as a time of joy, celebration, and togetherness. Images of families gathered around tables, friends exchanging gifts, and the warmth of communal traditions are everywhere. But for many people, the holidays can bring a profound sense of loneliness.

Loneliness during the holidays is a quiet struggle that can be amplified by the festive atmosphere and the emphasis on family gatherings. Whether it’s due to distance from loved ones, the loss of someone dear, or simply feeling disconnected, this time of year can become a painful reminder of isolation.

Why the Holidays Can Intensify Loneliness

1. Social ExpectationsSociety often emphasizes family gatherings, big parties, and joyful celebrations during the holidays. These expectations can make those who are alone or feeling disconnected feel as though they are missing out or that something is wrong with them. They may feel rejected and unwanted. The pressure to be happy can make feelings of sadness or loneliness seem even more isolating. It can seem that everyone is happy but you.

��

2. Loss and GriefIf you’ve lost a loved one, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. Traditions that once brought joy may now feel hollow, and the empty seat at the table can deepen feelings of grief and isolation.

3. Social Media ComparisonIn today��s world, social media can make loneliness feel more acute. Seeing others post about holiday parties, family gatherings, or romantic getaways can lead to comparison, triggering feelings of inadequacy or isolation.

��

4. Distance and SeparationWhether due to work, finances, or other circumstances, not everyone has the ability to spend the holidays with loved ones. Physical distance from friends or family can make the season feel particularly lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people in other aspects of life.

Ways to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

1. Acknowledge Your FeelingsIt’s important to validate what you’re feeling instead of pushing it away. Loneliness, grief, and sadness are valid emotions, especially during times that emphasize connection. Allow yourself the space to feel without judgment.

��

2. Reach Out to OthersEven if you’re feeling isolated, there may be people in your life who are also experiencing loneliness. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or colleagues who might be alone. Sometimes, offering companionship to others can create meaningful connections.

3. VolunteerHelping others is a powerful way to combat loneliness. Volunteering for a local charity, shelter, or community organization can give you a sense of purpose and remind you of the shared humanity in all of us. It can also create opportunities to meet new people and build connections.

��

4. Create Your Own TraditionsIf you��re spending the holidays alone, take the opportunity to create your own special rituals. This could be anything from watching your favorite movies, cooking a special meal, or doing something creative like journaling or painting. Personalizing the holiday in this way can give it meaning, even in solitude.

5. Join a Group or Online CommunityIf you’re feeling isolated, consider joining a support group, hobby club, or online community. There are many virtual groups that cater to people experiencing loneliness, grief, or simply looking to connect with others during the holidays. Sometimes connecting with people who understand your experience can make you feel less alone.

��

6. Limit Social Media
If social media is making your loneliness worse, it’s okay to take a step back. Consider limiting your time online during the holidays or unfollowing accounts that trigger feelings of inadequacy. Instead, focus on activities that bring you genuine comfort.

��

7. Practice GratitudeIt can be hard to focus on the positive when you’re feeling lonely, but practicing gratitude��even in small doses��can shift your perspective. Take time each day to reflect on something you’re thankful for, whether it’s a warm cup of coffee, a good book, or a quiet moment to yourself.

Remember: You Are Not Alone

Loneliness during the holidays is more common than it may seem. It��s easy to believe that everyone else is surrounded by love and joy, but many people are quietly struggling with similar feelings. While the holidays may not feel the same for everyone, they can still offer moments of solace, growth, and reflection.

If you’re finding it difficult to cope with loneliness, reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether it’s a friend, a therapist, or a community group, there are people who care and are willing to listen.

Final Thoughts

Loneliness during the holidays is a deeply personal experience, but it doesn’t have to define the season. By acknowledging your feelings and finding small ways to connect with others��or with yourself��you can create moments of meaning and comfort. While this time of year can be challenging, it can also be an opportunity to explore new ways of finding connection, even in the quiet moments.

Photo by Satish J.

��

Contact Mental Health Specialists in Houston & Texas Contact Us

CONTACT

admin@dbtcenterhouston.com

LOCATION

DBT Center: 1348 Heights Blvd, Houston, TX. 77008

Telehealth: All of Texas

ABOUT US

TRAINING

POLICIES

Why the Holidays Can Intensify Loneliness

1. Social ExpectationsSociety often emphasizes family gatherings, big parties, and joyful celebrations during the holidays. These expectations can make those who are alone or feeling disconnected feel as though they are missing out or that something is wrong with them. They may feel rejected and unwanted. The pressure to be happy can make feelings of sadness or loneliness seem even more isolating. It can seem that everyone is happy but you.

��

2. Loss and GriefIf you've lost a loved one, the holidays can serve as a painful reminder of their absence. Traditions that once brought joy may now feel hollow, and the empty seat at the table can deepen feelings of grief and isolation.

3. Social Media ComparisonIn today��s world, social media can make loneliness feel more acute. Seeing others post about holiday parties, family gatherings, or romantic getaways can lead to comparison, triggering feelings of inadequacy or isolation.

��

4. Distance and SeparationWhether due to work, finances, or other circumstances, not everyone has the ability to spend the holidays with loved ones. Physical distance from friends or family can make the season feel particularly lonely, even if you're surrounded by people in other aspects of life.

Ways to Cope with Loneliness During the Holidays

1. Acknowledge Your FeelingsIt's important to validate what you're feeling instead of pushing it away. Loneliness, grief, and sadness are valid emotions, especially during times that emphasize connection. Allow yourself the space to feel without judgment.

��

2. Reach Out to OthersEven if you're feeling isolated, there may be people in your life who are also experiencing loneliness. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or colleagues who might be alone. Sometimes, offering companionship to others can create meaningful connections.

3. VolunteerHelping others is a powerful way to combat loneliness. Volunteering for a local charity, shelter, or community organization can give you a sense of purpose and remind you of the shared humanity in all of us. It can also create opportunities to meet new people and build connections.

��

4. Create Your Own TraditionsIf you��re spending the holidays alone, take the opportunity to create your own special rituals. This could be anything from watching your favorite movies, cooking a special meal, or doing something creative like journaling or painting. Personalizing the holiday in this way can give it meaning, even in solitude.

5. Join a Group or Online CommunityIf you're feeling isolated, consider joining a support group, hobby club, or online community. There are many virtual groups that cater to people experiencing loneliness, grief, or simply looking to connect with others during the holidays. Sometimes connecting with people who understand your experience can make you feel less alone.

��

2. Limit Social Media
Even if you're feeling isolated, there may be people in your life who are also experiencing loneliness. Consider reaching out to friends, neighbors, or colleagues who might be alone. Sometimes, offering companionship to others can create meaningful connections.

The post Lonely During the Holidays appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on November 21, 2024 14:50

Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification: How to Balance Your Emotions Without Getting Overwhelmed

Ever had one of those days when emotions like anxiety, anger, or sadness take over and feel impossible to shake off?

It��s easy for those feelings to start defining us. It’s so easy to go from “I feel sad,” to “I am sad.” When that happens then all that you do is done through the lens of being sad. But emotions are like fishes in an aquarium. They are all swimming around and sometimes one will be bigger than others and the biggest emotion will change. The emotion that is in front of the emotions aquarium will change too. But it doesn’t mean that other emotions aren’t still there. You can still have emotions like fear, worry, and even joy when sadness is (for the moment) the biggest emotion that you are feeling. There is a practice that can help with not over-identifying with any one emotion, mindfulness.

When you learn to experience difficult emotions without letting them overwhelm you, you can regain control and feel more balanced.

What��s the difference between mindfulness and over-identification?

Mindfulness:

Mindfulness is about being fully present with your emotions and recognizing them without judgment. It��s like saying, “I see you, anxiety,” without allowing it to dominate your entire day. By practicing mindfulness, you give yourself permission to feel emotions without letting them run the show. It helps you stay aware of your feelings without becoming emotionally overwhelmed.

Over-Identification:

Over-identification happens when we get so wrapped up in our emotions that we mistake them for who we are. Instead of thinking, “I��m feeling anxious,” we start believing, “I am anxious.” This small shift can make a big impact, increasing stress and making it harder to manage those feelings because we��ve allowed them to take over our sense of self.

How to Practice Mindfulness with Difficult Emotions:

1.�� Notice and Name the Emotion:

Take a moment to notice what you��re feeling, but do it without judgment. For example, say to yourself, ��I��m feeling angry,�� instead of getting lost in the emotion.

2. ��Pause and Breathe:

Focus on your breath for a few seconds to ground yourself in the present moment. This simple action can help bring clarity and calm.

3. Create Emotional Distance:

Remember that this emotion is temporary and doesn��t define you. Tell yourself, ��This is just a feeling, and it will pass.��

4. Practice Self-Compassion:

Be kind to yourself. It��s okay to feel tough emotions��they��re part of being human. Treat yourself with the same care you��d give a friend going through a rough time.

By practicing mindfulness, you can manage your emotions with a sense of balance. Instead of letting tough feelings overwhelm you, this practice builds emotional resilience and keeps you grounded, even during life��s most challenging moments.

Additional Resources

If you’d like to read more, consider these resources:

1. Mindful.org �� The Basics of Mindfulness

An excellent beginner’s guide to understanding mindfulness and how it can help manage emotions.

2. American Psychological Association �� Mindfulness Meditation: A Research-Backed Tool for Managing Stress

A resource explaining the scientific basis of mindfulness and its benefits for mental health.

3. Kristin Neff �� Self-Compassion and Mindfulness

Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion, which includes mindfulness as a core element in emotional regulation.

4. Psychology Today �� Over-Identification and Emotional Overload

An article exploring the concept of over-identification and how mindfulness can prevent emotional overload.

5. Greater Good Science Center �� Mindfulness for Emotional Resilience

A resource that discusses how mindfulness fosters emotional resilience and how it contrasts with being overwhelmed by emotions.

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The post Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification: How to Balance Your Emotions Without Getting Overwhelmed appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on November 19, 2024 14:05

Why Self-Compassion Matters in Trauma Recovery

When we go through trauma, the emotional wounds can run deep. Tauma is defined by the way the event impacts you, even if others might respond differently. When you’ve experienced something traumatic, you struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, or even isolation. You may judge yourself harshly for being weak or silly. But the aftereffects of trauma are very real. Trauma has a strong impact on your relationships.

One of the most powerful ways to heal is by practicing self-compassion��treating ourselves with the same kindness we��d offer a loved one in pain. Self-compassion is especially important for trauma survivors. It can reduce emotional suffering, help build resilience, and improve overall mental health.

What Is Self-Compassion?

At its core, self-compassion means treating yourself with care and understanding, especially when you’re struggling. Dr. Kristin Neff, who��s well-known for research on self-compassion, breaks it down into three key components:

1. Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment

Be gentle with yourself instead of harshly critical.

2. Common Humanity vs. Isolation

Understand that suffering is part of the human experience.

3. Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification

Acknowledge difficult emotions without letting them take over.

If you��ve been through trauma, practicing self-compassion can help you break the cycle of negative self-talk and emotional pain, creating space for healing and growth.

How Self-Compassion Helps Trauma Survivors Heal

Research has shown that self-compassion is a key player in trauma recovery. It��s been linked to reduced symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression. One study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that trauma survivors who practice self-compassion are less emotionally reactive and better able to process painful memories.

Self-compassion also builds resilience, helping you acknowledge your pain without becoming overwhelmed by it. Instead of blaming yourself or feeling stuck, you can shift toward understanding and empathy, which is essential for deep healing.

Practical Self-Compassion Exercises for Trauma Recovery

Ready to get started? Below are some practical exercises designed to help you cultivate self-compassion as you recover from trauma. These exercises are backed by research and easy to incorporate into your daily life but this is not meant to be therapeutic advice–only educational. Remember that everyone is different and if these exercises are triggering for you, don’t use them. Check with your therapist before using this educational material.

1. The Self-Compassion Break

This exercise, developed by Dr. Neff, is a quick and effective way to bring self-compassion into your everyday life, especially during moments of emotional pain or when trauma triggers resurface.

How to do it:

Step 1:

Recognize your suffering by saying something like, ��This is really hard for me right now.

Step 2:

Acknowledge that you��re not alone in your pain: ��I��m not the only one who feels this way.

Step 3:

Show yourself kindness: Place a hand over your heart and say, ��May I be kind to myself in this moment.

This short, mindful practice can help soothe your nervous system and shift your emotional state from self-criticism to self-care.

2. Loving-Kindness Meditation (LKM)

Loving-Kindness Meditation is a great way to practice self-compassion. It involves sending kind, loving thoughts to yourself and others, which fosters feelings of care and connection.

How to do it:Find a quiet place to sit, close your eyes, and take a few deep breaths.Silently repeat phrases like, ��May I be happy,�� May I be healthy,�� May I be free from suffering.��Once you��ve extended kindness to yourself, offer the same thoughts to others��starting with close loved ones and eventually including even those with whom you may have conflicts.

LKM can help reduce feelings of isolation and foster a deeper sense of self-acceptance, which is especially helpful for trauma survivors.

3. Compassionate Writing (Journaling)

Writing is a powerful tool for working through�� trauma, but when you combine it with self-compassion, it becomes even more effective for healing.

How to do it:Set aside 10-15 minutes daily to write about a difficult experience or emotion.As you write, take on the perspective of a kind and understanding friend. What would they say to support and encourage you?Focus on validating your feelings instead of criticizing yourself for having them.

By approaching journaling with compassion, you can reframe your experiences and start building a more supportive inner dialogue.

4. Self-Compassionate Body Scan

Trauma often takes a toll on the body, causing physical tension and discomfort. A self-compassionate body scan can help you tune into your body��s needs while practicing kindness toward yourself.

How to do it:Lie down in a comfortable position and take a few deep breaths.Slowly scan your body from head to toe, noticing areas of tension or discomfort.As you focus on each area, send it kind thoughts like, ��May this part of my body find ease,�� or ��It��s okay to feel discomfort.��

Whether you��re about to take the plunge or you��ve recently moved out, know that these challenges are normal��and you��re not alone in facing them!

Integrating Self-Compassion into Daily Life

In addition to these exercises, here are a few ways you can bring more self-compassion into your daily routine:

1. Practice Mindful Self-Talk �� When you notice self-criticism creeping in, gently replace those thoughts with words of kindness.

2. Set Boundaries �� Compassion includes respecting your limits and making self-care a priority.

3. Connect with Others �� Sharing your experiences with loved ones or a support group can create a sense of connection and reduce feelings of isolation.

Summing It Up

Self-compassion doesn��t mean avoiding or ignoring pain. It��s about meeting your pain with kindness, understanding, and care. By making self-compassion a regular part of your life, you can build emotional resilience, reduce trauma symptoms, and cultivate a more healing relationship with yourself.

If you want to learn more about trauma recovery, check out our posts on Coping with Trauma Triggers or visit our Therapy Resources��page for additional support.

��

If you’d like to read more, consider these resources: Dr. Kristin Neff��s Official Self-Compassion Website �� Discover more about the science of self-compassion and access free exercises. The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion �� Explore workshops, programs, and resources on mindfulness and self-compassion.

Contact Mental Health Specialists in Houston & Texas Contact Us

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LOCATION

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The post Why Self-Compassion Matters in Trauma Recovery appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on November 11, 2024 15:25

Challenges for Young Adults in Leaving Home

Leaving home for the first time is a huge step for young adults. It��s exciting, nerve-wracking, and sometimes downright overwhelming. Whether you’re moving out for college, starting a new job, or simply seeking independence, going from living under your parents’ roof to being out on your own is, YIKES, scary.

1. Financial Hurdles

One of the biggest challenges for young adults leaving home is managing their finances. Bills, rent, groceries, and unexpected expenses can pile up fast. You’ve never had to consider these things before. What used to just appear is now not as easy to get. Suddenly, those small expenses (like grabbing a coffee or eating out) add up, and you realize how easy it is to overspend, and how easy it is to rack up credit card debt.

How to Handle It:

Budget wisely:

For many children, talking about their feelings, especially when dealing with trauma or complex emotions, can be overwhelming. When an adult is pushing you, even gently, to talk about something that is scary or you don’t know how to say what you are feeling, that can add to the pain the child is feeling. Play therapy allows children to express what they may not be able to say otherwise.

Learn about credit:

Understand how to build and maintain a good credit score. Credit cards can be a useful tool, but only if used responsibly.

Build an emergency fund:

Life is unpredictable, and having savings for emergencies will give you

peace of mind.

2. Managing Time and Responsibilities

When you��re living at home, many day-to-day tasks��like laundry, cooking, and cleaning��are either shared or handled by parents. Once you��re on your own, it��s easy to feel overwhelmed with the sheer number of responsibilities on your plate.

How to Handle It:

Create a routine:

Develop a daily and weekly schedule for chores, work, or school commitments. This helps avoid last-minute panic when things pile up.Remember to make time for yourself. Taking breaks, exercising, and eating well will help you manage stress and stay focused.

Prioritize self-care:

Remember to make time for yourself. Taking breaks, exercising, and eating well will help you manage stress and stay focused.

Use tools:

Apps like Google Calendar or to-do lists can help you keep track of important tasks and deadlines.

3. Homesickness and Loneliness

Leaving the comfort of your home and family can lead to feelings of homesickness and loneliness. For young adults, especially those moving far away, missing family, friends, and a familiar routine can be tough.

How to Handle It:

Stay connected:

Regularly schedule calls or video chats with loved ones. It��ll help ease the transition and remind you that they��re only a call away.

Get involved in your new community:

Whether it��s through school clubs, local activities, or meeting neighbors, building a new support system can help reduce feelings of isolation.

Give it time:

It��s normal to feel homesick at first, but those feelings often fade as you adjust to your new environment.

4. Making Decisions on Your Own

When you leave home, you��re the one calling the shots��whether it��s deciding what to eat for dinner, how to spend your weekends, or how to handle a problem that comes up. For many young adults, the weight of making decisions without parental guidance can feel overwhelming.

How to Handle It:

Trust yourself:

It��s okay to make mistakes. Every decision you make, good or bad, is a learning experience.

Seek advice:

While it��s important to make your own decisions, don��t hesitate to reach out to family or friends for advice when you need it.

Learn from experience:

Over time, you��ll gain confidence in your decision-making abilities. The more you practice, the better you��ll get.

5. Balancing Freedom and Responsibility

Leaving home brings newfound freedom��no curfews, no one telling you what to do. But with that freedom comes responsibility. It��s easy to let things slide, whether it��s staying up too late, skipping meals, or neglecting important tasks.

How to Handle It:

Set personal boundaries:

Establishing limits for yourself, like getting enough sleep or sticking to a healthy diet, will help you balance your freedom with responsibility.

Be mindful of your time:

With no one to answer to, it��s easy to procrastinate. Try to strike a balance between work, school, and fun activities.

Celebrate small wins:

Acknowledge when you��re doing things right, like managing your budget or sticking to your routine. It��ll help you stay motivated.

6. Finding Purpose and Direction

For many young adults, leaving home isn��t just about physical independence��it��s about figuring out who you are and what you want from life. The pressure to have everything figured out can be overwhelming, especially when you��re trying to navigate a new environment.

How to Handle It:

Take it one step at a time:

You don��t have to have all the answers right away. Focus on short-term goals, whether it��s getting through a semester or landing your first job.

Explore new interests:

This is a great time to try new things. Take a class, join a group, or pursue a hobby you��ve always been interested in.

Be kind to yourself:

The transition to independence isn��t always smooth, and it��s okay to feel uncertain. Allow yourself the grace to grow and figure things out along the way.

Final Thoughts

Leaving home for the first time is a major life change, full of challenges and opportunities. But with the right mindset, preparation, and support, young adults can successfully navigate this exciting new chapter. Remember, it��s all about balance��between freedom and responsibility, between independence and staying connected, and between exploring new opportunities while taking care of yourself.

Key Takeaways:

Prepare financially with a budget and savings plan.Create a schedule to manage new responsibilities.Stay connected with loved ones to combat homesickness.Trust your decision-making process and don��t be afraid to ask for advice.

Whether you��re about to take the plunge or you��ve recently moved out, know that these challenges are normal��and you��re not alone in facing them!

Contact Mental Health Specialists in Houston & Texas Contact Us

CONTACT

LOCATION

DBT Center: 1348 Heights Blvd, Houston, TX. 77008

Telehealth: All of Texas

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Published on October 26, 2024 21:35

How to Say I Love You Every Day, Even When its Hard to Express Your Feelings

Letting people know you love them is important. Saying, ��They know,�� may be accurate, but the experience of hearing ��I love you�� expressed in different ways feels so amazing, and it strengthens relationships. Most people don��t talk with each other like the characters in a romantic movie and sometimes in real life that way of expressing love can feel fake or cheesy. So how to do it?

Here are some heartfelt ways to convey “I love you” when it’s hard to express your feelings directly:

1. Show Appreciation:Express your gratitude for the person and what they mean to you. For example, “I’m so grateful to have you in my life.” You can say this with a smile and loving eyes. Whether you say it randomly, for no apparent reason, or after a moment in which you feel extra appreciative��it makes a difference.

��

2. Acts of Kindness:Show your love through thoughtful actions. Actions often speak louder than words, such as making their favorite meal or helping with something they care about. Maybe you know they have an excessively busy day, so you take on one of their tasks.

3. Physical Affection:Sometimes a hug, a gentle touch, or holding hands can communicate love more effectively than words. Just reaching over with a brief touch says a lot. Touch is the language of intimacy.

��

4. Write a Note or Letter:Sometimes writing down your feelings can make it easier to express love. You could write a heartfelt letter or leave a note expressing what they mean to you. Sending a card or letter in the mail, even if or especially if, you live in the same house can have even more impact. It��s unexpected, and obviously, you were thinking about the person in order to do that.

5. Use Creative Expression:If you’re artistically inclined, create something special for them, like a painting, a song, or a poem that conveys your emotions. Sing the song for them, or read the poem aloud, after they are comfortable and enjoying some relaxing moments with you.

��

6. Share Memories:Reminisce about happy moments you’ve shared together. Sharing memories can evoke feelings of love and connection. It��s called savoring. It��s so easy sometimes to remember the tough times and it can take more intention to focus on and relive the positive.��

7. Be Present:Show your love by being fully present and attentive when you’re together. Listen actively and engage in meaningful conversations. Show them that they are more important than your phone! Yes, it makes a difference.

��

8. Support and Encouragement:Offer support during challenging times and celebrate their successes. Showing that you’re there for them demonstrates your love and commitment. When they are upset over a mistake they made, don��t jump on the ��you should have known better�� bandwagon. Instead, give them grace. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and supports them instead. Imagine that someone you love pulls forward over a parking divider and dents the bumper of your car. This is not the time to tell them they need to pay attention or to talk about how much the repair will cost. That only makes them feel bad over something they didn��t do on purpose and doesn��t solve the problem at all.��

9. Speak Their Love Language:Identify their love language (acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch) and express your love in a way that resonates with them. If you don��t know their love language, ask them. You can also watch the way they show love to others. Often the way love is expressed is the way they want to receive love.

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10. Use Non-Verbal Cues:Sometimes a smile, a loving gaze, or a shared moment of laughter can communicate love without words. When you out, wink at them, for example.

11. Seek Guidance from a Shared Symbol:If you have a shared symbol or gesture that represents your relationship, using it can be a subtle yet meaningful way to say “I love you.” Playing your song or initiating a special handshake emphasizes your closeness.

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12. Be Patient and Understanding:Recognize that expressing emotions can be difficult for some people. Give yourself and the other person time and space to process feelings.

Breaks are important for your physical and mental health. Even with just an hour, you can create a meaningful break that helps you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation, tailored to your personal preferences and needs. If you have an OC temperament and are stressed by always doing, doing, doing–then RO DBT might be for you.

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The post How to Say I Love You Every Day, Even When its Hard to Express Your Feelings appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on October 16, 2024 12:19

The Healing Power of Play

��Children are different from adults. Expressing how they feel is often a struggle and they may not be able to tell you their experiences and feelings in words. Can you imagine how frustrating that could be? To be feeling difficult emotions and not be able to tell someone? For many children, the best way to communicate is through play. Since play is often their primary way of communicating play therapy is a powerful tool for helping children process their emotions, cope with difficult experiences, and heal.

What is Play Therapy?

Play therapy uses play as a means of communication and expression, mainly for children 3 to 12, though it can be effective for older children and even adults. Through the use of toys, games, art supplies, and other creative materials, children can express their inner world in a safe and structured environment. Trained therapists observe how the child plays and “listen” to what the child is saying. The therapist may also respond in play, and suggest ways of coping in the play.

Why Play Therapy Works

1. Non-threatening form of expression:

For many children, talking about their feelings, especially when dealing with trauma or complex emotions, can be overwhelming. When an adult is pushing you, even gently, to talk about something that is scary or you don’t know how to say what you are feeling, that can add to the pain the child is feeling. Play therapy allows children to express what they may not be able to say otherwise.

2. Building emotional resilience:

Through play, children explore different roles, learn problem-solving skills, and experience a sense of mastery over their environment. This fosters emotional resilience, helping them develop coping strategies to manage their feelings and adapt to challenges.

3. Strengthening the child-therapist bond:

When the therapist “listens” to the child’s play in a non-threatening and accepting way, that helps build trust and a sense of safety. This trust allows the child to work through the emotions and difficulties, such as their feelings about a divorce, without feeling pressure or a fear of “getting into trouble.”

4. Facilitating insight and growth:

Play is not just a way to release emotions��it��s a path toward relief, understanding, and healing on the part of the child.

Types of Play Therapy

There are different approaches to play therapy. Some of the most common types include:

Non-Directive Play Therapy:

Also known as child-centered play therapy, this approach allows the child to take the lead. The therapist provides a variety of toys and materials but does not direct the child��s play. Instead, the therapist observes, offering support and reflecting on the child��s feelings.

Directive Play Therapy:

In this approach, the therapist takes a more active role by introducing specific activities or themes. These activities are designed to help the child address particular issues, such as loss or trauma, and to develop coping skills.

Sandplay Therapy:

In sand play therapy, children use miniature figures and a sandbox to create scenes. This technique allows them to externalize inner conflicts and explore emotions in a tangible way. This is often used with adults as well.

Art Therapy:

Art therapy allows children to express themselves through drawing, painting, or other creative processes. Art can serve as a window into the child��s emotional world and help facilitate discussion with the therapist. Art therapy can be used with all ages.

What issues does play therapy treat?

Some of the most common reasons for seeking play therapy include:

Trauma or loss (such as the death of a loved one, divorce, or abuse)Anxiety and depressionBehavioral problems (such as aggression, defiance, or social withdrawal)Learning difficulties or developmental delaysAttention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)Family or relationship difficulties

What to Expect in a Play Therapy Session

Play therapy sessions typically last between 30 and 50 minutes and are held on a weekly basis. The length of treatment depends on the child��s individual needs, with some children requiring only a few sessions, while others may benefit from longer-term therapy.At the beginning of the therapy process, the therapist will spend time getting to know the child and building rapport. During this phase, the child is encouraged to explore the toys and activities at their own pace. Over time, the therapist may introduce specific themes or interventions to guide the child��s play and address deeper issues. Parents and caregivers are also an essential part of the therapeutic process. Therapists often provide feedback to parents, helping them understand their child��s emotional world and offering guidance on how to support their child outside of therapy.

Conclusion

Children��s play therapy offers a gentle, effective way to help young people heal from emotional wounds, build resilience, and develop healthier ways of coping with life��s challenges. By creating a space where children feel safe to express themselves, therapists can uncover underlying issues and guide the child toward healing. For children facing trauma, emotional struggles, or behavioral challenges, play therapy can be a transformative journey toward emotional well-being.

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Published on October 16, 2024 10:23

Skills for the Over Controlled: Taking a Mini-Vacation

The individual with an OC temperament can be very task-oriented. They can work and work and work, and not value time off or even know how to enjoy time off. Taking a mini-vacation, even if it’s just for a day or a weekend, can be a rejuvenating experience that helps both those with under controlled temperament and those with overcontrolled (OC) temperament recharge and reset, but its more likely to be the OC who doesn’t value time off . Even hour-long mini-vacations can give you a needed break from stress.

Here are some ideas for ways to take a mini-vacation:

1. Staycation at Home:

Create a Relaxing Environment: Transform your home into a sanctuary by decluttering, lighting candles, and playing soothing music.Disconnect: Turn off your phone or put it on silent to minimize distractions.Pamper Yourself: Treat yourself to a spa day at home with a bubble bath, face masks, and a good book.Indulge in Good Food: Cook or order your favorite meals and enjoy them without rushing.

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2. Explore Local Attractions:

Visit a Nearby Park: Spend time outdoors hiking, picnicking, or simply enjoying nature.Explore Museums or Galleries: Check out local museums, art galleries, or historical sites you haven’t visited before.Attend Local Events: Look for concerts, festivals, or markets happening in your area.

3. Road Trip Adventure:

Plan a Scenic Drive: Choose a nearby scenic route and enjoy the journey with stops for sightseeing and photography.Visit a New Town: Pick a nearby town or city you haven’t explored and spend the day exploring its attractions, shops, and restaurants.

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4. Stay at a Nearby Retreat or Hotel:

Book a Spa Retreat: Look for hotels or resorts with spa facilities and indulge in massages, facials, and relaxation treatments.Enjoy Hotel Amenities: Take advantage of amenities like swimming pools, hot tubs, fitness centers, or room service.

5. Outdoor Adventure:

Go Camping: Spend a night or weekend camping in a nearby campground or national park.Try Water Activities: Rent a kayak, paddleboard, or go for a swim at a nearby lake or beach.

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6. Culinary Experience:

Food Tour: Explore different restaurants, cafes, or food markets in your city or a nearby town.Cooking Class: Take a cooking class to learn new recipes and techniques.

7. Relaxation and Mindfulness:

Yoga or Meditation Retreat: Attend a yoga or meditation retreat to relax your mind and body.Nature Walk: Take a leisurely walk in a botanical garden, nature reserve, or along a scenic trail.

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Tips for a Successful Mini-Vacation:

Plan Ahead: Research activities and accommodations in advance to make the most of your time.Unplug: Disconnect from work emails and notifications to fully immerse yourself in relaxation.Stay Flexible: Allow for spontaneity and adapt your plans based on how you feel in the moment.Focus on Enjoyment: Whether alone or with loved ones, prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Now what if you can��t get away for a day or a weekend?�� Consider ways to get a genuine break for an hour and destress.

1. Mindful Walk in Nature:

Find a nearby park, nature trail, or botanical garden.Take a leisurely walk, focusing on the sights, sounds, and smells of nature.Practice deep breathing and mindfulness techniques to relax your mind.

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2. Mini Meditation Retreat:

Find a quiet space where you won’t be disturbed, such as a quiet room or even a park bench.Set a timer for 20-30 minutes and practice meditation.Focus on your breath or use guided meditation apps if needed to help you stay focused.

3. Spa Moment at Home:

Create a soothing atmosphere in your bathroom with candles and soft music.Take a warm bath with Epsom salts or your favorite bath oils.Pamper yourself with a face mask, moisturizing treatment, or a mini self-massage.

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4. Virtual Travel Experience:

Explore virtual tours of famous landmarks or museums online.Watch travel documentaries or videos that transport you to different places around the world.Immerse yourself in a travel-related book or magazine.

5. Creative Expression Break:

Set up a small creative space with art supplies, musical instruments, or writing materials.Spend time drawing, painting, playing music, writing poetry, or journaling.Engage in an activity that allows you to express yourself freely and unwind.

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6. Mindful Eating Experience:

Prepare a simple, healthy meal or snack that you enjoy.Eat slowly and mindfully, savoring each bite.Focus on the flavors, textures, and sensations of the food.

7. Garden Therapy:

Spend time in your garden or a nearby community garden.Tend to plants, do some light gardening, or simply sit and enjoy the greenery.Gardening can be therapeutic and grounding.8. Exercise and Stretching Session:

Do a short workout session such as yoga, Pilates, or a quick cardio routine.Stretch and focus on releasing tension from your body.Physical activity can help clear your mind and boost your energy levels.

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Tips for Maximizing Your Hour-Long Vacation:

Disconnect: Turn off or silence your phone to minimize distractions.Set Intentions: Decide beforehand what you want to focus on during your mini vacation, whether it’s relaxation, creativity, or mindfulness.Enjoy the Moment: Fully immerse yourself in the experience and be present in the here and now.Repeat Regularly: Schedule mini vacations into your routine as a way to consistently take care of yourself and maintain balance.

Breaks are important for your physical and mental health. Even with just an hour, you can create a meaningful break that helps you feel refreshed and rejuvenated. Prioritize activities that bring you joy and relaxation, tailored to your personal preferences and needs. If you have an OC temperament and are stressed by always doing, doing, doing–then RO DBT might be for you.

Contact Mental Health Specialists in Houston & Texas Contact Us

CONTACT

LOCATION

DBT Center: 1348 Heights Blvd, Houston, TX. 77008

Telehealth: All of Texas

ABOUT US

TRAINING

Policies

The post Skills for the Over Controlled: Taking a Mini-Vacation appeared first on Houston DBT Center.

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Published on October 15, 2024 09:50

What is Traumatic Invalidation?

Did you know that most people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) have suffered trauma in their life, and particularly in their early years? And much of the trauma they experience includes traumatic invalidation or results from traumatic invalidation. If you are in treatment for BPD, then it��s likely that effective treatment needs to include treatment for trauma, including trauma from invalidation.

What is traumatic invalidation?

Traumatic invalidation is extreme or repetitive invalidation of individuals�� significant private experiences, characteristics identified as important aspects of themselves or reactions to themselves or to the world.�� Linehan 2015 (page 304).

The following are a few of the behaviors that Melanie Harned has identified as experiences that can be traumatically invaliding:

Criticizing: Some examples of criticizing are being insulted, put down, mocked, or called names, or others criticizing your behavior, appearance, emotions or interests. Criticizing can also be when people say things intended to humiliate or belittle you. More specifically, being told you��re too sensitive or you��re acting like a baby (said with a sneer) would be criticizing in a way that can be traumatically invalidating. A racial slur could be traumatically invaliding. This sends a message to you that, ��You��re bad, or you��re wrong,�� for the way you think, act, feel or look.

Unequal treatment: Examples of unequal treatment include ��being treated as less than or different from others, being treated unfairly compared to others, being discriminated against based on your personal characteristics. Discrimination in terms of your sex, sexual orientation or race would be examples here too. The message is that you are inferior or inadequate.

Ignoring: When you are ignored, people act like you don��t exist, They don��t pay attention to your behavior or your words, or your emotions. They may not recognize special events or achievements in your life and they may not spend much time with you. You can be in their presence but their attention is elsewhere, perhaps on work, or a boyfriend/girlfriend, or drugs for example. The message here is that, ��You don��t matter�� and ��You are not important.��

Emotional Neglect: Being neglected emotionally can be difficult to define. How do you know if you were emotionally neglected?�� In general it means not receiving care that you need, including not receiving love from others. It can also be when others tell you that you are supposed to feel a certain way or that you shouldn��t express distress. Statements like ��If you don��t stop crying I��ll give you something to cry about,�� show emotional neglect. You are being told not to express your feelings. The messages that emotional neglect send are that ��You are unlovable, �� and ��You do not deserve care.��

Excluding: When you are shunned by others or excluded from important events that should include you, that can be invalidating in a traumatic way. Being denied entry into valued social groups or being asked to leave such groups would be part of this type of invalidation. ��The message is that ��You do not belong,�� and ��You are unwanted.��

Blaming: When you are blamed for things that aren��t your fault or wrongfully accused of ��bad�� behavior, then that can be invalidating. The messages is that ��You cause problems,�� and ��You are a burden.��

When you have experienced traumatic invalidation that is recurrent and/or intense, then that experience can affect the way you view yourself and interact with others. You may not trust yourself to make good decisions, you may feel that you shouldn��t exist or that you are inherently bad. You may invalidate yourself and hate yourself, assume others don��t want to be around you, and expect rejection. You may also ignore your own needs and think you aren��t normal and should be different than you are.

If you are ready to work on recovering from traumatic invalidation, we have options for you. Our Trauma Team includes experts in DBT-PE, DBT-PTSD, ART, CPT, EMDR, Trauma Informed Yoga and more.�� We offer play therapy and EMDR for children.

Let’s work together for your recovery.��

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