M.J. Pullen's Blog, page 18

Even if You Didn’t Go to My Alma Mater…

… I bet this story will touch you. Malcolm Mitchell is a junior wide receiver at the University of Georgia (Go Dawgs!), and this story about his joining a ladies’ book club in Athens went a long way to ameliorating my feelings after a tough loss to South Carolina on Saturday. If you don’t tear up a little bit around the two-minute mark, I’ll eat my hat. But not my Georgia hat, because I need that when I’m rooting for Malcolm Mitchell…

It’s pretty amazing that a top-recruited college athlete (particularly at a hard-core football school like Georgia) can put his football career in such great perspective, right in the middle of all the glory and adoring fans. Not many twenty year olds have that kind of maturity and grace – qualities that are indicative of long-term success off the field, no matter how the games turn out.

Go Dawg, Go.

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

 

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Things Every Couple Fights About

This video made me laugh, mostly because I’ve said just about every thing in it at some point or another. Enjoy!

 

Post by BuzzFeed Video.

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Overheard at Whole Foods – What Do You Think?

So I had to run a couple of errands late this morning and stopped in at Whole Foods to grab some lunch. And some hummus. And a chocolate bar, because organic = healthy, right?

I’ve explained before that we writers in general and novelists in particular are notorious eavesdroppers, and I am no exception. Also, there are times when you just can’t help it, like when you come upon a conversation like I did when I got in the checkout line.

It was a conversation already in progress between a middle-aged lady who was loading her groceries onto the conveyor belt, and the elderly gentleman who was next in line behind her. The lady had an older toddler boy (I’m guessing 2 or 2 1/2) in her cart, and I can only assume based on what she said that she was his paternal grandmother.  I don’t know how long they’d been chatting, but I gather they’d maybe been talking about something related to the little guy’s eating habits, etc. The conversation sort of went in and out in terms of what I could hear/understand and not look too obviously like I was listening. Which of course, I was.

Anyway, as I came to stand in line behind the elderly guy, the woman was saying this: “…and I would know, of course, I’m with him more than his mother is.”

[Manda's ears prick up and the little hairs on my arm stand on end.]

Elderly gentleman mumbles something inaudible in response.

She goes on, “see, he’s with me three days a week and his other grandmother one day a week and then… [I didn't catch this part]. He has a baby brother, who’s only so many weeks old but I couldn’t handle them both. The baby screams a lot.” She gestures at the child, “But you’re a good big brother, aren’t you? A little jealous, but sweet. Yeah, I used to work with little kids all the time but I couldn’t do it anymore…”

She trailed off there and turned to talk to the cashier about something. The friendly old man began to make conversation with the little boy, who was facing him. “What’s your name?”

The little boy looked away for a second, obviously a little shy, and then said, very softly, “Jack.”

The woman turned back to him now, ruffled his hair and said, “Jackson. His name is Jackson. Well, he thinks his name is Jack, I mean he calls himself Jack. And his mother calls him Jack. But I call him Jackson, don’t I sweetie? Because that’s his name.” She gave the man a sort of knowing smile over the little boy’s head as she said this, and then (fortunately for everyone because I was totally biting my tongue off at this point) a cashier from a nearby line came to get me so I could check out faster. Or maybe she saw the bloodlust in my eyes and decided that a box of gluten-free cookies makes a fair projectile weapon in a pinch. They are pretty brick-like.

Okay, a basically innocent conversation I admit, but is it crazy that it crawled all over me? I left feeling defensive on behalf of Jack/Jackson and his poor mother, wherever she was. Working, I would assume… and maybe that’s what rankled this lady’s hide. Or maybe she cares for him for three days a week at no charge and feels put-upon and bitter about it. (I have no idea if she’s paid for her time or not). I mentioned that I thought this must be the paternal grandmother, not because she said so, but because it’s hard to imagine a mother would undermine her own daughter in front of her grandchild like this. In fairness, I should say that I don’t know that. She could be a maternal grandmother or maybe a step-grandmother or aunt or family friend or even a paid nanny. Does it really matter?

I don’t know the whole situation and I didn’t hear the entire conversation. But hearing what I did, my feeling as I left was that it’s not okay for a caregiver of any child to talk like this in front of the kid — what you say to your girlfriends over a glass of wine is your own business. I am super-sensitive about this kind of thing, especially when it involves the feelings of a little person. But am I being hypersensitive in this case? What if it’s true that this woman really is with the kid more than his mom? Does that make it okay for her to say so in front of him? Is she just telling the truth? I’m trying to remember that I came to this conversation bringing all my working mom baggage with me, so maybe I’m misreading or projecting my own mommy guilt…

Anyone have thoughts on this? Working moms, relatives who care for young kids, preschool teachers…? Do you think I’m putting too much weight on a passing conversation, or should Jack/Jackson’s mommy re-think her child care situation?

Bring on the comments!

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

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It’s Never Too Late for a Scene in the Rain

Maybe I’ve got Emily Giffin on the brain after attending her talk at the Decatur Book Festival last weekend, or maybe there’s something else, but I’ve been seeing this scene from Something Borrowed in my head all morning [yes, some people get songs stuck in their heads, I get scenes].

And, okay, from this clip it doesn’t look like this scene works out so well for Rachel, but those of us who love this story (and this genre) know it’s the classic beginning of the emotional domino effect and we’re along for the delicious and conflicted ride.

There’s something about a scene in the rain, isn’t there? Confessing your deepest feelings, while making yourself vulnerable to the elements as well as heartache. Rain seems to have the impact of washing away the pretenses of every day existence, leaving us unfettered to make connections that are somehow deeper and more authentic. The scene in the rain near the end of The Marriage Pact was one of my favorites to write because it’s such a powerful turning point (trying to avoid spoilers, but those of you who’ve read it know what I mean).

Image (c) 1994 Columbia Pictures

Even non-romantic scenes seem more powerful in the rain. Who could forget this scene from The Shawshank Redemption, in which the rain not only washes away half a mile of sewer pipe filth, it serves as an iconic symbol of freedom and, well, redemption. It’s also a cue for every guy I’ve ever met to begin crying like a little girl, but I don’t think that’s just the rain.

These kinds of scenes are powerful for me because of who the characters become when everything else is stripped away. There’s nothing so compelling as raw emotion, expressed without concern (at least temporarily) for future consequences. In those moments, we are truly ourselves and truly free, regardless of the weather.

I encourage you to have your own Rain Scene this weekend, even if there’s not a cloud in the sky where you are. Tell someone you love them in a way that is deep and real and raw — for the first time or the thousandth time. Find a place or a moment in which you can be with your true self, open to whatever life is offering, maybe even open to something divine. Do something that scares you, and in that moment, don’t worry about what will come after. Just feel the surge of your own pulse and the thrill of courageous uncertainty.

While you’re at it, post your favorite book and movie rain scenes in the comments!

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

The post It’s Never Too Late for a Scene in the Rain appeared first on MJ Pullen.

Author Computer Hacked: Terrible Novel Disseminated Everywhere

Not the first draft! Nooooo…..

With the kerfuffle this week about hackers accessing naked pictures of celebrities, it got me thinking about what is on my computer and phone I wouldn’t want shared. I don’t have any naked selfies (sorry to disappoint), but I do have some pretty horrifyingly bad prose lying around. And some God-awful poetry. Overwrought, melodramatic letters to ex-boyfriends, which I keep in order to remember what it’s like to be in that place in a relationship, but that I’d be mortified to have out in public. There are ideas for stories that were either never fully articulated, or lead me to wonder just how drunk I was when I sat down at the keyboard thinking I had this great idea. “Okay, it’s a romance, but it takes place entirely on Facebook.” Wait, maybe that one isn’t so bad….

Ahem. There are the 60,000+ words of three different novels, which eventually led me to The Marriage Pact. Also the dross I produced during several bouts of NaNoWriMo. It’s fruitful dross, and I’m a big believer in the idea that you have to write a lot of sludge to get… wait, is there something good that grows in sludge? I could say something about pearls and oysters, but you don’t really write oysters, do you? Anyway, I think you get the idea and feel free to dress it up with your favorite metaphor.

I can’t speak to whether taking naked pictures of yourself is an integral part of the acting process, but I can say with authority that shitty first drafts are an absolutely critical part of the writing process. Sure, there are probably writers out there somewhere who simply sit down at their desks and produce gold on the first attempt, but I’m going to guesstimate that those writers comprise approximately 0.00001625% of the general writer population. So, it’s pretty much that one guy, and he’s also a hermit who burns his work ceremonially as soon as he finishes it, to “give it back to the trees.”

For the rest of us, there’s just the process. Write a lot of crap, and spend hours rearranging and revising until you have something that’s not crap. And in the meantime, all those murdered darlings and awkward sentences and really horrible ideas are there on your hard drive, reminding you of how far you’ve come, how many hours you’ve put in toward the 10,000 or more it takes to be any good at anything. The embarrassing stuff on my hard drive isn’t a reflection of my talent or my lack of discretion. It’s fertilizer, absolutely essential to anything I might want to grow.

What I’m saying is, if you’re an author (or any kind of artist) and you don’t have anything embarrassing lying around, you’re simply not doing it right.

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment. My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

Writers can explore my other writing and publishing posts or join my writing-focused email list.  I also have workshops in the Atlanta area, including a self-publishing workshop on November 15th, 2014.

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Self-Publishing Workshop Nov. 15th: Perks, Pitfalls and Process

“Can I talk to you about self-publishing?”

I get this question often from my fellow writers, usually when they have completed or nearly completed a book, and are thinking about the next steps. They’ve heard that self-publishing is the road to riches, or that it’s career suicide. Maybe self-publishing is a sign of failure as an author, or perhaps it’s simply the new “slush pile” for editors seeking new talent. So how can you tell if self-publishing is the right choice for you and your book? And if it is the right choice, where do you start?

If you live in the Atlanta area, you might consider starting here:

On November 15th, I’ll be hosting a self-publishing workshop from 8:30 to 11:30. This 3-hour workshop is designed to help writers of all levels and genres understand the various paths to self-publishing, and how self-publishing fits into the rapidly changing publishing climate. At the end of the workshop, writers will be equipped to determine whether and what kind of self-publishing is a viable choice for them, and have a publishing action plan in place. We’ll discuss your individual goals for your writing, as well as the many options open to new and experienced writers alike.

By the end of this workshop you will be able to:

Understand (briefly) how the publishing industry has been transformed in the past several years and what it means for authors
Articulate goals for your current project, and your career as a writer
Make an informed decision about whether self-publishing is a good choice for you as an author, as well as for each writing project individually
Set measures for success in self-publishing and create a plan for reaching those goals
Follow step-by-step instructions to successful self-publication
Begin the process of publishing your own book the right way, or marketing yourself and your work to agents and publishers
Create a basic author platform to support your efforts in EITHER independent or traditional publishing

You will also learn:

The difference between self-publishing, indie, hybrid, small-press and traditional publishing
The benefits and drawbacks of the various publishing options, including self-publishing
The importance of genre in writing, publishing and marketing your book
What a “target audience” is and how to find and reach yours
The ins and outs of the Amazon KDP platform and how to optimize it in your favor
How much you should expect to invest in the launch of a newly self-published book
Major mistakes to avoid when publishing your own book
How to set up a basic social media strategy for your book

BONUS (November session only): Registration also includes an optional individual 15-minute video or phone coaching session with me to address your specific questions and situation within 3 months of the workshop.

Registration fee covers all workshop materials and refreshments. To keep costs down and the setting intimate, we’ll be meeting in my living room in Roswell, Georgia. Space will be limited to a maximum of 25 attendees.

Online event registration for Self-Publishing Workshop: Perks, Pitfalls and Process powered by Eventbrite

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Talking Off-Page and Off-Stage

The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moriarty

I recently finished reading The Husband’s Secret, by Liane Moriarty, which I adored… right up until the very end. I won’t spoil it for anyone, because it’s absolutely worth reading despite the following complaint: there was this EPILOGUE…

Now, if you’ve read it, maybe you are rolling your eyes with me or maybe you loved it. But basically Moriarty tacks on a mish-mash of explanations at the end of the book about several characters and events, including private information about The Event that is the catalyst for most of the action in the book. It felt hastily written and unnecessary to me. More importantly, it was also outside the POV (point of view) of any of the three main characters, and in fact, contained information that could never be known by any of the characters, but would have significantly altered the outcomes of the book if they had known. It’s almost like the author was letting the reader in on a secret “truth.” About the fictional events. And while the information might have made me feel better about at least one of the book’s characters, I found myself irritated by the epilogue in general.

I couldn’t figure out what it was that bugged me about this ending until I had a conversation the other night with some writer friends. I felt — quite passionately I might add — that this kind of aside to the audience is “out of bounds,” for lack of better phrasing. There is a field of play in a work of fiction; the world and its characters are constructed by the author and presented through some point of view (or several). As readers, we immerse ourselves in this world through the vessel of characters (including omniscient narrators, who play by their own set of rules). The rules and boundaries are established in the first few pages or chapters, and must be followed from there forward. The characters, not the author, are our guides on the journey of the story, and we must know more or less what they know. We can learn something before a character does, and we can have the combined knowledge of many or all the characters. But there is no private truth: events in a novel only matter because they impact the characters.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the impulse. As an author, once you’ve spent months or even years immersed in a story and its world, it’s hard not to begin believing on some level that the place exists as its own reality (in a sense, it does). And of course, you are the authority on what happens in that world, so why shouldn’t you answer questions about it outside the story? Even J.K. Rowling gets sucked in to imagining out loud what happens off the page sometimes, as she does here regarding the Sorcerer’s Stone getting buried beneath the foot of a centaur.

The problem for me is this: the story must speak for itself. If a piece of information is important enough to the story to mention it in an epilogue or interview, it should be included in the story. I’m not against epilogues, of course; all three of my novels have had an epilogue for different reasons. But an epilogue needs a voice, and the voice must come from somewhere in the story. It can be the voice of the main character or the dead girl or a houseplant or the last of the unicorn freedom fighters. It just can’t be the voice of the author.

An author can’t tell us a “truth” that isn’t part of the story any more than the commissioner of major league baseball can overturn a game in favor of his favorite team. It’s an abuse of power. Or to stick with a literary analogy: it is as though William Shakespeare emerged onstage after the gore and tragedy of Hamlet and said, “Oh, no, it’s cool. They were all going to be slaughtered by the Norwegians anyway.” What???

When a reader entrusts us with her time and energy and eyeballs, we must offer a sense of fair play in return. We can’t tack on something unearned at the end because it makes us feel better or because we weren’t ready for the magic to end. These are the hard choices.

I don’t know… maybe I’m taking it all too seriously. What do you think? Do you ever read something and think, “Well, that came out of nowhere…”? Are there authors who show themselves like this and it works for you? Share your comments (and examples) below to be entered in the monthly drawing…

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

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Suburban Mom Seeks Adventure: Has Own Minivan

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

I love that advice from Eleanor Roosevelt, a supremely cool person in so many ways. I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly adventurous person, and as I chatted with a mommy-friend the other day over coffee, I realized that so many of the things I’m proud of in my history are the things that I leaped into with no expectation of how they would turn out. We compared notes on how our lives were different pre-kid. For me it was about traveling agenda-less around Europe, for her it was Central and South America. Scraping by on a few dollars a day in hostels of questionable cleanliness and becoming fast friends with fellow travelers as we went. Picking up and moving at a time in our lives when many of our friends were seeking out respectable jobs and stability. Whirlwind romances. Exquisite heartbreaks.

And while I’ve never been quite as adventurous as either half of the couple in this video, I love that you can see even in the video that they do what they do not without fear, but in spite of their fear.

You can hear their concern for their own safety and one another in their every breath and expression. Moved by their story, I also found myself wondering if they were planning to have children, and if so, how that would impact the kinds of risks they will take down the line.

For me, having kids has quelled my adventurous side a bit, just as you would expect. It goes beyond that responsible feeling of anxiety you

Forty-five minutes in line and the kids wouldn’t even talk to her. That is terrifying.

get when another life is dependent on you; it’s also that kids become so much the focus of your attention, energy and money that it doesn’t leave room for many grand adventures. Instead of hauling off around the world or the country in search of my own adventures, I drive back and forth to preschool in my minivan, listening to audiobooks of the adventures of other people – real and fictional. The most adventurous trip we’ve taken lately was for a week at Disneyworld (which, to be fair, did scare the crap out of me).

I do find myself missing that thrill sometimes, stepping into the unknown and wondering what kind of experience I can carve out of it. I miss getting in my car with no particular destination in mind, rolling the windows down and just following the blacktop wherever it wants to take me. (I also miss being able to go anywhere without having to referee fights in the backseat or explain precisely where we are going every step of the way, but that’s another story). I miss moving to other cities – arriving in a totally new place knowing no one, with a carload of stuff and no idea what to expect. One of the best things about that particular experience is that it always forced me to do something to meet people – join a writing club, take an acting class, accept a random invitation. I even miss the first day of a new job, with its butterflies and possibilities.

Of course one day I’ll have some of those experiences again, and even if I don’t, I have the opportunity to create those experiences on a smaller scale in my current life. Meeting a new group of moms at the bus stop. Talking to a friend about an idea for an exciting new project. Or simply putting the words on the page even though I’m not at all sure they’ll be worth reading. The challenge of my current life is in seeing the adventure that’s there, and making sure that I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone in less obvious ways than shouldering a backpack and venturing out into a foreign city.

What about you? Do you try to have adventures every day? What’s your favorite way to push past your comfort zone?

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

 

 

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A Brief Note of Thanks + Robin Williams Tribute Video

I just want to say thank you for the outpouring of support last week. Like many survivors of suicide, I was particularly affected and saddened by the loss of our beloved Robin Williams. Thinking of the impact of his loss, I re-posted this blog from last January about my own mother’s death, and so many people have reached out to me, online and off, to send love and support and share your own stories of battling depression or loving/losing someone with mental illness. I’m grateful to everyone for the courage and compassion you’ve showed me and others in your life.

It’s always hard to lose one of the greats, hard to know that someone who brought us all so much joy was dealing with so much pain himself. So much has been said about Mr. Williams this week, but this short video was one of my favorites.

Be well, be courageous, and be spectacular. You are already.

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my almost-quarterly email list. Each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs.

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels.

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A Bit of Grace about “Balance”

Click the quote to visit Elizabeth Gilbert’s great blog.

Well, hi there, blog! Come to think of it, hi there, keyboard and written word, while we’re at it…

I have been away for a couple of weeks: away from you, away from my desk, away from my favorite coffee shop and everything else writing related. This wasn’t a formal vacation that included a trip to the beach or a mountain trek, but just a couple of weeks home with my guys — running errands and visiting the museum, doing the preschool birthday party circuit and — in my few spare moments that didn’t involve refereeing light saber battles — doing a little bit of the non-sexy, non-writing part of this job. Also, I’ll admit it. I got a little bit of extra sleep on a couple of days. There. I said it. Take away my overachieving mommy card if you must.

Today my darling Skywalker took his Jedi self to Kindergarten for the first time and Fozzie got to be in the “big kid” classroom at preschool, so I’m blinking back a few tears and transitioning from supermom to keyboard jockey once again.

One of the wonderful paradoxes of motherhood (and maybe even modern personhood) is that no matter where you are or what you’re doing, it’s almost always possible to think that you should be somewhere else, doing something else. Something better or more productive. Even though I made a somewhat conscious choice to step away from writing during this time (or at least gave myself permission to slack off as I went along), I still managed to feel guilty at times that I wasn’t hunched over my computer, keeping up my commitment to myself to write every day, no matter what.

It’s the advice every writer gives other writers, from Anne Lamotte to Jerry Seinfeld. Write every day. Even if it’s just fifteen minutes. They say it will make you a better writer. It’s often said this is the only way to be a better writer. It’s good advice, maybe. Writing every day keeps you connected to your work, your craft, and your story. It keeps your momentum going. But will it make you a better writer or a better person? Eh.

Maybe it’s just my distaste for being bossed around, but I think it’s okay to give yourself some time off from writing (or doing whatever it is you do) on a regular basis. Does a doctor who plays golf on Sundays lose his ability to practice medicine by Monday morning? Do we say to our logistics managers, “Organize something every day, even if it’s just your shoe shelf?”

When we hear “write every day” or “exercise every day,” what we’re really being told is “take this seriously.” Make it a part of your everyday life, something that is a priority, a commitment that you accept without question. To me, there’s something just as vital in being able to put writing away for a bit as there is in being disciplined about its practice. My writing works in fits and starts, which may not be the most efficient way to do things, but I’ve learned to honor the way my brain works.

I need long periods of work and commitment, I need days that I push myself to work even when I don’t feel up to it. I need to face the blank page mercilessly, or go to the gym when I’d rather go to Starbucks. But I also need periods of rest and freedom. I’ve learned I absolutely must take professional down time to focus on being a mom, a reader and a person, or my writing suffers. I’ve found that these periods are fertile soil for new ideas, plot fixes, and understanding things in a different way.

We talk a good bit in our culture about “balance,” but I’m not sure many of us know what balance really means. My version of balance is more like a pinball machine than a see-saw. I’m here, then I’m there, then I’m here again. One minute I’m obsessing about sentence structure and emotional tension, and the next I’m trying to navigate the line at the PTA table at my kid’s school.

A friend of mine recently posted a bit from author Elizabeth Gilbert on the idea of ‘balance’ that I loved. You can find it here, but this was my favorite sentence:

The word BALANCE has tilted dangerously close, I fear, to the word PERFECT — another word that women use as weapons against themselves and each other.

Doesn’t that ring true? It does for me. I am trying to make a conscious effort to seek the kind of balance that leaves me feeling at the end of each day that I did the best I could with that day, and still have the energy to try again tomorrow. Maybe that means I wrote for 15 minutes or three hours or not at all. Maybe I was patient and supportive with my kids, or maybe I was the screaming banshee mom they have nightmares about. Maybe the to-do list was partially done, or it’s even longer than when I started.

It’s okay. I will give myself the grace to try again tomorrow, regardless of today, and I will try to find the kernel of inspiration or learning or satisfaction in today that maybe I missed along the way.

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I’m M.J. (Manda) Pullen, an author and mom in the Atlanta, Georgia area. I blog about writing, publishing, motherhood, health, psychology and whatever else strikes me in the moment.

If you enjoyed this entry, please follow along or join my Inner Circle email list. At the end of each month I do random drawings with various prizes for list subscribers, the friends who refer them, and everyone who comments on the blogs. Good luck with that!

My current roster of books includes The Marriage Pact series, a trilogy of funny, semi-realistic Contemporary Romance/Women’s Fiction novels. You can find them for all eBook formats and in paperback here.

 

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