Michael Allen's Blog: Michael Allen Online, page 24

Bezos Tweet To Leonardo DiCaprio Over Lauren Sanchez

What are the Lauren Sanchez and Leonardo DiCaprio headlines about? It’s a funny store actually and Jeff Bezos was right there in the room. There’s an entire video that was tweeted by Variety and it’s what started the whole thing.

So we see Leonardo DiCaprio is trending Here's our original video from @marcmalkin of DiCaprio chatting with Jeff Bezos and his girlfriend Lauren Sanchez at the LACMA Art + Film Gala https://t.co/TpKZZjUS3Y pic.twitter.com/s3nkA6rKrk

— Variety (@Variety) November 8, 2021

Lauren Sanchez made a name for herself long before her boyfriend came along. She’s an actress, news anchor, entertainment reporter, and media personality. But a simple image search and you quickly find out how much the media loves to follow Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez around. You’d think that’s how Lauren got her name. But I assure you she didn’t.

She’s in the headlines now over something completely different though. But, the focus is on Sanchez and DiCaprio. In fact, the video received so much attention unflattering to Bezos that he had to send DiCaprio a tweet about it. Of course, he’s joking. Or is he?

Leo, come over here, I want to show you something… @LeoDiCaprio

@JeffBezos

I think he’s joking. But Twitter is forever having fun with stories like this and it’s just getting started…

BEZOS LOOKIN LIKE LEO BOUTA SEND HIM TO THE BAR TO GET HIM AND SHORTY DRINKS

@THEKIDMERO

Rule #1 is never introduce your girlfriend to Leo DiCaprio.

@ericj_d

Richest man in the world and ya girl still choosin.

@MarchVeryOwn4

Find you someone who looks at you the way Jeff Bezos’ girlfriend looks at Leo DiCaprio.

@SwiftieatFifty

Leonardo DiCaprio the first time he saw Jeff Bezos girlfriend pic.twitter.com/kqNPC0bysY

— JSWilliams1962 (@jswtreeman) November 8, 2021

Twitter definitely has jokes. Those Tweet Peops never let up. But like I said, Lauren Sanchez made a name for herself long before Jeff Bezos came along.

On The Red Carpet At The AMAsAt The AMAs In 2009Quite A Few Years Ago With Son NikkoAt A Bikini Contest

I’m sure Jeff Bezos can take all the jokes he’s been ushered over the spark between Lauren Sanchez and Leonardo DiCaprio. Even though it was involuntary, Sanchez couldn’t hide it. The thing is though, DiCaprio can make most men feel a little insecure when their girlfriend lays eyes on him.

I wonder who makes his eyes sparkle like that!

The post Bezos Tweet To Leonardo DiCaprio Over Lauren Sanchez appeared first on Michael Allen.

Bill Belichick Pregame Outfit Starts A Twitter Riot

Bill Belichick comes across like the kind of guy who just doesn’t care. He has one passion in life and that’s football. Nothing else is worth his time. At least, that’s the way he comes across.

His pregame outfit yesterday lived up to every word of that. And of course, Twitter had a blast making fun of him. When it comes to having a sense of humor, you have to be on the strong side in this world. No one is going to give you a break. So, wear what you want but expect that it will blow up to be a meme. Nothing gets past the long line of comedians on Twitter.

Adjusting to daylight savings time like: https://t.co/NErVuI9Q97

— Dan Crohn (@DanCrohn) November 7, 2021

Bill Belichick is all of us walking through the airport hungover at 6am pic.twitter.com/imu6dHb9Wz

— Emerson Lotzia, Jr. (@EmersonLotzia) November 7, 2021

Belichick going with the “passed out after thanksgiving dinner” fit https://t.co/TFrUgE1PY8

— Mason Steinberg (@AlUCanEatShrimp) November 7, 2021

same energy https://t.co/deHW5yYzl6 pic.twitter.com/NJU5Hi1NcT

— Conor Ryan (@ConorRyan_93) November 7, 2021

Looks like most Patriots fans in an away airport Monday morning after a road game… https://t.co/1pusptCpb7

— Dan H (@LarryBird33) November 7, 2021

Bill Belichick rocking the crop top https://t.co/h2brsoI31N

— Greg Pollowitz (@GPollowitz) November 7, 2021

I thought he had them pants on like Urkel for a second https://t.co/RVtiBOh5ys

— RIPGLEESH (@TewPhilly) November 7, 2021

My dad sneaking to the kitchen for another slice of bacon https://t.co/gpRiv4XxSY

— Big Dog at GGSN (@caleb_ggsn) November 7, 2021

Cam Newton left the Patriots cause he was tired of Bill out-dressing him https://t.co/vrcJ0pOScG

— Josh (5-4) (@ThatPatsStan) November 7, 2021

Dressed like my mom bro https://t.co/TQNotKF9tg

— Natalie Miller (@Nat_NFLDraft) November 7, 2021

One thing’s for sure, that man is not going to change. Don’t count on him to dress up for a game any time soon. It’s just not that important to him. And the fans can have all the fun they want. That doesn’t get to him either. He just doesn’t GAF!

This isn’t his first rodeo. He’s been a meme for years. Every time there’s a scandal, every time he looks at someone crooked, the internet blows up with memes because that’s what the internet does. If there aren’t memes about a celebrity, they’re not significant enough.

Bill Belichick actually gives people stuff to talk about. He’s a meme factory. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. The looks on his face, the clothes he wears, the things he does…it’s all up for grabs. Just hashtag it and Twitter will have a heyday with it.

And that’s hardly the end of it. It won’t come to an end any time soon. Next week, he’s likely to do something and wind up starting another Twitter riot, just because he can.

After that, you deserve a fresh look at Toni Braxton wearing this…

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Zillow Messing With A Wyatt Earp Great Descendant

I met the great descendant of Wyatt Earp at a Days Inn in Sarasota. She was in the room next to mine. I couldn’t help but meet her. Sitting outside and having a few beers as the sun went down, I could hear her on the phone as she sat outside her door and she wasn’t happy about any of the calls she was making.

Jane married Melvin Earp about forty years ago and he’s actually the bloodline of the infamous man. But, that makes her family nonetheless. They had a great life together. They bought a house and paid it off before he passed away. But too many memories made her want to move out and leave it all behind. That’s when she found herself in her impossible situation.

Isn’t that the worst feeling ever to think that you’ve done all you can to take care of the family you love after you’re gone and wonder if it was enough? I listened to Jane make phone call after phone call and it was frustrating to me. I can only imagine what she was going through. She looked at me with a fire in her eyes and at that moment, I heard the whole story.

She had sold the house to Zillow. That was something I learned that day. They buy houses. Only her ordeal wasn’t going smoothly. They came through the day before and took pictures. Then, she handed them the keys and they put them in a lockbox. She had everything she owned in storage and the closing was supposed to be the next day. Zillow had her information and the money was supposed to be wired as soon as the closing was over so that she could have the money for her own closing on her new house.

That’s where it all fell apart. They committed to a closing on a certain date and she was set to buy a house based on that closing. But they moved her closing back a few weeks and they didn’t even stop to think that maybe they should notify her about it or even see if it was okay with her. The thing is, they bought the house from her. That was her understanding. So, who cares when their closing is? They needed to wire her the money they promised, not give her the big run around.

She was about to lose her new house and she couldn’t move back into her old one. Zillow wouldn’t answer her phone calls and they wouldn’t return them after she left messages. Give it a try. Contact Zillow. Let me venture a wild guess and tell you that all the brokers are busy with other customers and you can leave a message. Then, wait and see how long it takes for them to get back to you.

If you have a house to sell or want to buy one, I imagine they are very responsive to that. But just like every other company out there, if they owe you money or have to fix something, they’ll take their sweet time of getting back to you. Time that Jane Earp doesn’t have.

Oh, they’ll take your money though. They’ll demand it upfront before they do anything for you. But, refunds or returns on deposits have to be processed because we all know how much effort goes into that. It can take three to six weeks sometimes. Why can’t they return money as fast as they required it? That’s always been a mystery to me.

If Zillow knew who they were messing with, I wonder if they would continue. No one messes with the great descendant of Wyatt Earp. It takes a purely irreverent heart to want to wrong the family line of such a historical treasure. Needless to say that Zillow shouldn’t be messing with anyone at all.

I got to know Jane pretty well in those few short hours we sat outside our rooms and talked. Phone call after phone call she made kept getting ignored. The look in her eyes going from pure anger to heartbreaking worry. She’d shake her head and hold her forehead in her hands. She was literally between a rock and a hard place with a hotel bill climbing by the day.

I had to leave the next day and who knows if I’ll ever meet her again. But, I can only hope Zillow has made things right by now. They should! A business that treats people like that shouldn’t be in business too much longer. It’s just another example of how this world can get turned upside down!

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Florida Man Headlines Too Funny: Can’t Make This Stuff Up

“Florida Man” headlines are an everyday thing. There’s not a day that goes by that you can’t find some ridiculous headline of a man in Florida who did something either crazy, funny, or absolutely unheard of. Of course, there are many serious headlines too but let’s stay off that topic today. I’m not here for that.

This first Florida Man thought he was in an action movie when he was being chased by cops. First, he tried to jump his van off a bridge and that didn’t work the way it does in Fast and Furious. Instead, he crashed on the bridge and what he did next is actually badass…

Which Florida Man Is Winning?

This Florida Man is guilty of flying a banner that is three stories high. The Walton County Code Compliance official says his job is to preserve the visual quality of the beach and a three-story banner violates code. He says it has nothing to do with the banner’s message, but I somehow think it does. The thing is that the man continues to fly his banner despite the $50 a day fine that he has to pay. He definitely is standing his ground, but I can’t help to think of how the city is laughing all the way to the bank. Especially if they hate the message, which they most likely do…

Just Another Day For Florida Man

An elderly man woke up to the sound of a lawnmower on his lawn. The problem is, he doesn’t own a lawnmower. So, he, “had to get out in my stocking feet, I went to look and see who was in my yard.” It turned out to be his neighbor’s lawn guy and he was obviously over the property line. In a confrontation between the elderly man and his neighbor, it came to punches. Imagine the scene where a 46-year-old neighbor is taunting a 91-year-old man to punch him in the face, so the old man does. And he gets arrested for it. That’s Florida folks.

Florida Man Gets So Much Better

In a very bizarre story, a Florida man went balls to the wall for the simplest reason. He hitched a ride on a bucket truck going his direction. When I say he hitched a ride, I mean he snuck on the truck and then appears to have fallen asleep. When the power line crew noticed him on their truck, they asked him to jump off but he refused. So, they called the company, and eventually, the police were involved. But, the story doesn’t stop there. The man escaped the custody of the police that night, stole the truck, dragged an employee for about 50 feet, and drove the truck 20 miles before dumping it close to his home. He was arrested the next day. When he was asked why he did it, he answered that he just didn’t want to walk home.

This Is THE Florida Man

With the tattoo of Florida on his face, Matthew Leatham is the poster boy for Florida Men everywhere. The first time we heard about him, he called 911 to get a ride. This time, it’s a bit more serious. He was drunk the day his mom went to pick him up and take him to work. He refused to go and it ended up in a dispute where he threw his TV at her and then attempted to strangle her. She’s fine, but I could imagine very heartbroken.

How About This For Frivolous Lawsuits

A Florida man is suing a car wash and you won’t believe why. He has alleged that the car wash is slippery when it’s wet. That’s right. He was unaware that the floor would get slippery if soap and water got on it while he was washing his car. His lawsuit is so full of legal jargon, it’s hilarious just to read.

That on or about December 16, 2020, the Defendant, MOTOR CITY CARWASH, INC., by and through its agents, employees, and/or servants, negligently and carelessly maintained the above mentioned premises, to-wit: by allowing a dirty, slippery substance to remain on the ground where patrons are expected to traverse, creating a
dangerous and hazardous condition, causing the Plaintiff, ARTHUR SOTLOFF, to fall and seriously injure himself.

This is up there with the lady who faked a fall in a grocery store!

WTF? I Mean Seriously, WTF?

This Florida man just got out of prison after serving a year for attempting to sell crack to an undercover police officer and now he’s in trouble again. He called 911 because he was experiencing breathing issues. When the paramedics got there, it appears that he exposed himself to the EMT crew and began to pleasure himself with an ice pack. Yep! You read that right! He was rubbing it on his genitals in an attempt to reach sexual gratification. In the arrest report, there is a very clear statement, “First Responders will like to prosecute!” I bet they would.

Florida Man Goes Nuts

That’s actually not a headline that is all that unbelievable. It can be applied to just about any of us down here. But this guy should get a trophy or something for his absolutely outlandish behavior. I’m guessing he was trying to be a pilot because he was drinking rum and wielding a sword when police arrived. Why were they called? It appears he had set the street on fire and was sitting in his yard watching it burn. It led to his arrest, but that’s only part of the story. In the holding cell where they put him, he broke the fire sprinkler and flooded the booking office.

You really can’t make this stuff up! It reminds me of People Doing Stupid Things!

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Did ‘The Deeper Dark’ Leap Past Current Technology?

If you read The Deeper Dark by Michael Allen, you know it took readers on a wild ride. It started with bad hackers trying to ruin a man’s life and good hackers stepping in to have a little fun of their own. Then, it went on an actual wild ride up Florida highways, through Louisiana, and off to the middle of nowhere. But the one question that has been burning in readers’ minds is how far was the truth stretched when it came to current technology?

There is one part in particular when a hacker accesses Lara’s phone and downloads GPS software to track the girl as she is being trafficked across several states. Yes, there were hackers on Haven’s side and he found that out the hard way. His daughter had to be kidnapped before he realized he had friends dwelling in the “Dark Web.”

#taken

Is that possible? Is it possible to reach into a device and install software to track its whereabouts?

It’s interesting that readers are asking that question with all the other questionable technology in the novel. But, let’s go with this one. There are several stories that can inform us if it’s possible or not.

First of all, I believe it’s common knowledge that there are hackers who are no longer allowed around computers or any device that can access the internet because they’ve hacked sites such as NASA, the Pentagon, and even the CIA. Some hackers were recruited by the FBI to assist in cybersecurity measures while others served time in prison and it’s now illegal for them to even touch a computer.

Moving forward, it’s a very real thing that hackers can get inside devices that are connected to the web. One lady reported receiving an email from a hacker who had taken the picture from the camera on her television. That’s how some celebrities have been bribed. Whatever they were doing in their bedroom with the Smart TV on in the background was recorded and used against them for financial gain.

That’s Where We Are With Current Technology

If a hacker can access a device that’s online and use apps that are on it, it’s not unfathomable that he can install software as well. The only issue in the scene is how the hacker manipulated the phone so that he could turn the volume down to install the software, then put the device to sleep so that the GPS tracker would work without detection.

It still has a lot of naysayers scratching their heads. But if they knew anything about hacking, they would know it’s entirely possible. After learning that hackers can get into some of the most secure places in the world and even take pictures from a Small TV, there shouldn’t be any further skepticism.

If a hacker group can compromise a pipeline and get paid handsomely within hours, what’s so hard to believe about the phone scene? Seriously! It makes me think about the scene in Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw where Hobbs is holding a helicopter down with a chain while standing on the back of a truck.

The hacker in Ocean’s Eleven hacks a casino’s entire surveillance system to watch the vault and movements on the floor so that he can warn the others. The hacker in Leverage can open doors, change street lights, and remotely drive a villain’s car right up to the police. But a hack on a cellphone is too hard to believe?

@loveindiefilms

What other technology do you find hard to believe in The Deeper Dark?

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Sexy Body Art At Its Absolute Finest

When it comes to art, it can be amazing. Some artists just have a knack for creating the most interesting visuals imaginable. But body art has a particularly interesting appeal. These gorgeous models volunteered to be the subject and they all turned out great.

You can see the world and pick the next place you want to visit.

The hottest alien I’ve ever seen.
Sports girls are the best! Hands down!
The desert portrait body art.
The body art enchantress. She has me under her spell.
Eve and the forbidden fruit. Always a topic for discussion.
Some nice floral body art.
Here comes a few freaky faces for the collection…
Just a slight tweak and you can freak everyone out.
Jean Grey! This looks too perfect to be true. Hats off to the artist.
Some wild nature never hurt anyone.
The night sky never looked better.
Nice contour. Flows perfectly from one end to the other.
You’ve got to love the heroes when they get all dressed up.
This one is freaky. But I assure you there’s a face in there.
I saved the best for last, the beautiful American flag body art.

I know you want to try some body art now. It can be fun to paint your body any way you want, and then show it off for the whole world to see. You know Instagram will love it. That’s all they do over there is take awesome pictures of themselves and share them.

What would you want me to paint myself if I were to try it? I know I could get away with doing a pumpkin or the whole earth. But enough jokes. Stop laughing. It wasn’t that funny.

If you liked this article, you’ll love this one about female MMA fighters who make the weigh-in a little more interesting than usual.

My book The Deeper Dark is about to come out in hardcopy. It’s available now in print and Kindle if you’d like to read it. If you have a Kindle Unlimited membership, it’s available to you already!

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Old John McKay Reference Gets Coach Brian Kelly In Hot Water

It was late last night when the Notre Dame vs Florida State game finally came to an end. In overtime, Notre Dame finally came out on top with a 41 to 38 win. That’s when Katie George pulled Brian Kelly to the side and asked about the game.

In an off-the-cuff remark, Coach Kelly made a reference to an old John McKay joke and made the world go mad. Before we watch the interview, let’s talk about the joke first. So many people who reacted to Coach Kelly hadn’t even heard of the John McKay version before.

When asked, “What do you think of your team’s execution, coach?” Coach McKay replied, “I’m in favor of it.”

Now that you have some background, listen to Coach Kelly reference it:

pic.twitter.com/P2ddZiMVIA

— Viral Sports (@NotScTop10plays) September 6, 2021

You would have thought it was the end of the world. Journalists fired questions at him about his remark. What did he mean by that? Did he think it was funny? Given the time that we live in, did he think it was appropriate? No doubt a few mothers called and made their opinions heard because you know, jokes are illegal now or something.

At this point, most celebrities would be apologizing. They would be Instatweeting full essay responses about how it was insensitive of them, given the time we live in, and nothing like that will ever happen again. If Brian Kelly would listen to me for a second, don’t do any of that. It was a joke. We’re still allowed to tell them these days.

However, how could Coach Kelly be mad at all? His team had just won 41 to 38. It was a battle to the end, and they were up against a tough team that kept hitting back. Notre Dame showed the heart to hang in there and pull off the win in the face of a tough team who was coming at them with everything they had.

Execution? Execution?

Not all games are pretty. Not all games can be wrapped up and tied off with a cute little bow. Some of them are going to get nasty. Some of them are going to go to the end with both teams wanting it. That’s when you find out which team wants it more.

MMA Gets Kinky Between Ewa Brodnicka And Angela Bogusz

You never know what to expect when two MMA fighters square off at the weigh-in. Sometimes, they’re nice. And sometimes, they’re not.

When Angela Bogusz did a little flurty butt tap while Ewa Brodnicka was getting weighed, I thought she was being cute and that was going to be that. Of course, Ewa had to come back with something. You can’t be shown up on the stage of stages.

But what did she have in store? Trust me. This gets good. You can tell by the walk. You can tell by the expression on her face. It’s about to get real and that it does.

This gets pretty kinky and you might want to divert your eyes if you’re a virgin:

That’s as good as it gets. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dildo brought into a weigh-in before. I definitely know I’ve never seen an MMA fighter throw one at the other one. But the fight hadn’t even started yet. What a preview of what was about to come! That’s about the time you make sure to save the fight on DVR so you can watch it again any time you want.

If you want to know what happened in the official fight, Bogusz went to Instagram after with, “I defeated a professional boxer world champion. It still doesn’t come to me … Thank you for your support. I thank those who believed in me. Love you.”

Ewa also posted, “I did not give up the duel because I did not want to disappoint the fans and the organizers, despite the fact that the last 3 weeks of preparations are fighting pain and crossing my own limits during the rehabilitation of a broken leg. This is no excuse and I congratulate my opponent on winning.”

But I know what you came to see. This is what you came to see. Enjoy the fight!

People Doing Stupid Things And Catching It On Film For The Rest Of Us To Watch

Some people are born with no common sense at all. How they survive to become Youtube stars is a mystery. They are the kind to walk up to a firecracker after they’ve lit it, then watch their hand blow up. Even worse, they are the ones who do it for the Youtube likes.

They watch their friend blow his hand up and then post it for the million views. That’s what life is these days, “Hold on. Before I call 911, let me post this on Facebook.”

Have you ever seen a mother more interested in recording than caring about the danger her son was in? There is plenty of footage like that. A giraffe could be about to swallow their kid’s head but get that shot, “Look at what great footage I got. Oh, my son’s fine. Don’t worry about him. We rushed him to the hospital and they sewed his head back on. It’s all good!”

Here is some of the best footage of people doing stupid stuff. You’ll roll all the way through and you just might have to watch it again.

SHARE this with your friends on FACEBOOK and let them watch a great stupid compilation!

Remembering A&W Restaurants On National Root Beer Float Day

When I think back to my childhood, it's as if I lived it in black and white. I grew up in Virginia and one of my fondest memories was the A&W Restaurant we would go to from time to time. It wasn't just about the burger and fries with me though. It was about the Root Beer Ice Cream Float.

I don't know what genius came up with National Root Beer Float Day but I will shake their hand if I ever see them. It's not just a drink. It's a memory to me and I can tell plenty of stories that will take you back with me to a time when the world just seemed to be a much simpler place.

My first memory of the Root Beer Ice Cream Float was when I was very young and my family of four would take a Saturday trip into town to sit at a booth in the A&W Restaurant. When you're a kid, that's a big thing. That wasn't the only thing we had planned that day though. Of course, we were going to do other stuff like possibly a round of miniature golf or a movie at the mall. But A&W was first and when asked what I wanted, a Root Beer Float was the first thing to come out of my mouth.

I knew where I was. I knew they had burgers and fries there. And of course, I would soon be munching down. But the Root Beer Float was the first thing that came to mind and always has when I think of A&W.

Those times were simple. They were simple to me because the days ahead wouldn't be that easy. As my family of four became a family of three, my mother moved my brother and me to Maryland. There was no A&W Restaurant in the small town where my grandparents lived and we called our second home. Those days were gone.

I remember my grandfather giving me a dollar for the corner store. I walked down to see what they had and it was there that I saw an A&W Root Beer. My mind flashed back to much better times. It felt like I could reach out and touch those memories. It felt like if I tried hard enough, I could bring them back. They were right there. They were just yesterday. Why did everything have to change? Why couldn't it get put back together?

So, I bought myself an A&W Root Beer and headed back to my grandparent's house. When I walked inside, I went up to my Nan who was in the kitchen and I asked her if she had any ice cream. Of course, she did. She always did. So, I made myself a Root Beer Float.

My grandfather asked me what I was drinking and when I told him, he gathered up the rest of the family for an ice cream run. That's what I started that day. The ice cream stand we went to was small and one-of-a-kind. It had great ice cream from simple cones to Sundaes for the more professional ice cream consumers among us. I never was thanked because it was actually my idea. We just ate our ice cream and looked at each other with that simple, awkward look that just takes over your face when you have nothing better to do with it.

Years ticked away and I went into the Marine Corps. I got out and put myself through college. I met my wife and soon graduated to become an English teacher. My marriage didn't last long but I got a daughter out of the deal and I couldn't ask for more.

When she was about ten years old, I took her for a drive. We drove for a few hours before we came to a place I knew very well. Fredericksburg, Virginia where the Rappahannock runs through is the place I've always felt closest to out of all the places I've lived. And there it was, a beautiful A&W Restaurant that immediately took me back to those much simpler times again.

I think my wheels squealed as I pulled into the parking lot. My daughter was in confusion wondering why I suddenly pulled off the road and decided to park. I was about to show her and I thought it would be a real treat. She wasn't as excited as I was. She ordered a Chicken Sandwich and Onion Rings with an Iced Tea.

I kept trying to urge her what to get but she has her own mind and even though I love her style, I wanted to stop her and say, "You're doing it wrong!" When I tried one last time to at least try the Root Beer Float, she nodded, "No. I'm good with my tea."

So, there I sat eating my cheeseburger and fries as I enjoyed my Root Beer Ice Cream Float. All those memories rushing back through my mind. Memories of swimming in the river and sitting on the bank. Memories of late-night drives just after getting my license. The good and the bad had all mixed together in one wonderful blur and I felt my heart finally smile as I looked at my daughter.

A&W may never be a thing for her. Root Beer Ice Cream Floats may never be a tradition for us. She'll have her own memories. All I want to do is make sure they're the good ones.