Michael Allen's Blog: Michael Allen Online, page 23

MMA Gets Kinky Between Ewa Brodnicka And Angela Bogusz

You never know what to expect when two MMA fighters square off at the weigh-in. Sometimes, they’re nice. And sometimes, they’re not.

When Angela Bogusz did a little flurty butt tap while Ewa Brodnicka was getting weighed, I thought she was being cute and that was going to be that. Of course, Ewa had to come back with something. You can’t be shown up on the stage of stages.

But what did she have in store? Trust me. This gets good. You can tell by the walk. You can tell by the expression on her face. It’s about to get real and that it does.

This gets pretty kinky and you might want to divert your eyes if you’re a virgin:

That’s as good as it gets. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dildo brought into a weigh-in before. I definitely know I’ve never seen an MMA fighter throw one at the other one. But the fight hadn’t even started yet. What a preview of what was about to come! That’s about the time you make sure to save the fight on DVR so you can watch it again any time you want.

If you want to know what happened in the official fight, Bogusz went to Instagram after with, “I defeated a professional boxer world champion. It still doesn’t come to me … Thank you for your support. I thank those who believed in me. Love you.”

Ewa also posted, “I did not give up the duel because I did not want to disappoint the fans and the organizers, despite the fact that the last 3 weeks of preparations are fighting pain and crossing my own limits during the rehabilitation of a broken leg. This is no excuse and I congratulate my opponent on winning.”

But I know what you came to see. This is what you came to see. Enjoy the fight!

People Doing Stupid Things And Catching It On Film For The Rest Of Us To Watch

Some people are born with no common sense at all. How they survive to become Youtube stars is a mystery. They are the kind to walk up to a firecracker after they’ve lit it, then watch their hand blow up. Even worse, they are the ones who do it for the Youtube likes.

They watch their friend blow his hand up and then post it for the million views. That’s what life is these days, “Hold on. Before I call 911, let me post this on Facebook.”

Have you ever seen a mother more interested in recording than caring about the danger her son was in? There is plenty of footage like that. A giraffe could be about to swallow their kid’s head but get that shot, “Look at what great footage I got. Oh, my son’s fine. Don’t worry about him. We rushed him to the hospital and they sewed his head back on. It’s all good!”

Here is some of the best footage of people doing stupid stuff. You’ll roll all the way through and you just might have to watch it again.

SHARE this with your friends on FACEBOOK and let them watch a great stupid compilation!

Remembering A&W Restaurants On National Root Beer Float Day

When I think back to my childhood, it's as if I lived it in black and white. I grew up in Virginia and one of my fondest memories was the A&W Restaurant we would go to from time to time. It wasn't just about the burger and fries with me though. It was about the Root Beer Ice Cream Float.

I don't know what genius came up with National Root Beer Float Day but I will shake their hand if I ever see them. It's not just a drink. It's a memory to me and I can tell plenty of stories that will take you back with me to a time when the world just seemed to be a much simpler place.

My first memory of the Root Beer Ice Cream Float was when I was very young and my family of four would take a Saturday trip into town to sit at a booth in the A&W Restaurant. When you're a kid, that's a big thing. That wasn't the only thing we had planned that day though. Of course, we were going to do other stuff like possibly a round of miniature golf or a movie at the mall. But A&W was first and when asked what I wanted, a Root Beer Float was the first thing to come out of my mouth.

I knew where I was. I knew they had burgers and fries there. And of course, I would soon be munching down. But the Root Beer Float was the first thing that came to mind and always has when I think of A&W.

Those times were simple. They were simple to me because the days ahead wouldn't be that easy. As my family of four became a family of three, my mother moved my brother and me to Maryland. There was no A&W Restaurant in the small town where my grandparents lived and we called our second home. Those days were gone.

I remember my grandfather giving me a dollar for the corner store. I walked down to see what they had and it was there that I saw an A&W Root Beer. My mind flashed back to much better times. It felt like I could reach out and touch those memories. It felt like if I tried hard enough, I could bring them back. They were right there. They were just yesterday. Why did everything have to change? Why couldn't it get put back together?

So, I bought myself an A&W Root Beer and headed back to my grandparent's house. When I walked inside, I went up to my Nan who was in the kitchen and I asked her if she had any ice cream. Of course, she did. She always did. So, I made myself a Root Beer Float.

My grandfather asked me what I was drinking and when I told him, he gathered up the rest of the family for an ice cream run. That's what I started that day. The ice cream stand we went to was small and one-of-a-kind. It had great ice cream from simple cones to Sundaes for the more professional ice cream consumers among us. I never was thanked because it was actually my idea. We just ate our ice cream and looked at each other with that simple, awkward look that just takes over your face when you have nothing better to do with it.

Years ticked away and I went into the Marine Corps. I got out and put myself through college. I met my wife and soon graduated to become an English teacher. My marriage didn't last long but I got a daughter out of the deal and I couldn't ask for more.

When she was about ten years old, I took her for a drive. We drove for a few hours before we came to a place I knew very well. Fredericksburg, Virginia where the Rappahannock runs through is the place I've always felt closest to out of all the places I've lived. And there it was, a beautiful A&W Restaurant that immediately took me back to those much simpler times again.

I think my wheels squealed as I pulled into the parking lot. My daughter was in confusion wondering why I suddenly pulled off the road and decided to park. I was about to show her and I thought it would be a real treat. She wasn't as excited as I was. She ordered a Chicken Sandwich and Onion Rings with an Iced Tea.

I kept trying to urge her what to get but she has her own mind and even though I love her style, I wanted to stop her and say, "You're doing it wrong!" When I tried one last time to at least try the Root Beer Float, she nodded, "No. I'm good with my tea."

So, there I sat eating my cheeseburger and fries as I enjoyed my Root Beer Ice Cream Float. All those memories rushing back through my mind. Memories of swimming in the river and sitting on the bank. Memories of late-night drives just after getting my license. The good and the bad had all mixed together in one wonderful blur and I felt my heart finally smile as I looked at my daughter.

A&W may never be a thing for her. Root Beer Ice Cream Floats may never be a tradition for us. She'll have her own memories. All I want to do is make sure they're the good ones.

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