Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 11
December 1, 2023
A Conservative Lawn Mower
While I was mowing the lawn a few years ago, oil started spurting out all over (from the mower, not me). Investigation revealed the oil did not come from an opening oil should come out of. No, it was a brand new opening.
Going back still another year, while I pushed that that very same mower, the handle suddenly dissolved into numerous pieces. They scattered across the lawn in a pattern that spelled out “Ha!” I found what I thought was one of those pieces still on the mower deck, and picked it up. The pattern of that bolt, which -- it turned out -- was actually from the engine, is imprinted to this day on the palm of my hand.
No connection could be established between that red-hot doohickey and the auto-dismembering handle, but what are the odds?
The lawn mower before that lost its life when I pulled the handle to start it, but failed to notice the rope didn’t retreat back into the machine, where it belonged. Then I mowed over the rope. It wasn’t pretty. My father eventually took that mower to his Home for Mistreated Machines (established in my honor), where it happily whacked away for years more, without a care. (In other words, without me.)
The one before that is the Infamous Exploding Lawnmower, which caused the first ever Level One Hazardous Material Emergency in the history of Noble County, and was featured on both CNN and “The Simpson’s”. The parts that could be located are on display in the Smithsonian, after being borrowed by an investigation team from the History Channel program, “Engineering Disasters”.
What I’m saying is, I have a history.
After the most recent lawn mower sacrificed its lifeblood (still visible in a dead patch of grass that spells out “help me”), a friend let me borrow his. I know – dumb friend!
Ironically, the mower ran just fine under my borrowship. It was a freakin’ miracle.
Then my friend gave me the mower, maybe assuming it was tainted. He wasn't wrong.
My mowers never screw up the same way twice. One time it's the starter rope; another time a cracked head (not unlike the one I got from a low hanging branch); then it’ll be sheets of flame and a towering mushroom cloud.
So I’m mowing the lawn the day after the mower officially became mine, and it stops. Just stops, after once around the lawn. I manage to get it started. Once around, it stops again. After some effort, including changing the gas, oil and sparkplug, and some imaginative praying, I get it going again. Once around, it stops.
Changing fluids is the extent of my capabilities. Yes, I can change the sparkplug, but that task once led to me regaining consciousness on top of the neighbor's car. But eventually, a realization hit me:
When the mower leaned toward the right, it kept running. When it leaned toward the left, it stopped. Every time.
I had a conservative lawn mower.
Okay, but how do I go the other way?
Luckily, very little of my lawn is level; in fact, there’s every indication the entire property is sliding downhill. The US Geological Service estimated that within the next hundred years my house will be west of the old car wash on the next block, which is bad because right now it’s east of the car wash. The same team that handled the Leaning Tower of Pizza is working on the problem.
But my lawn can't wait a hundred years, so my solution was simple: Keep the mower’s right side pointed downhill at all times.
I gotta tell you, that’s nowhere near as easy as I thought it might be:
* Sooner or later, you’ve got to turn around. Otherwise, the neighbors will get annoyed.
* When you back up, you can’t watch both the mower and the dog droppings.
* Slipping while pulling a lawnmower toward you is the closest thing you can get to an instant of sheer terror without being in a plane crash.
* Pulling a lawn mower toward you is dumb.
This was a genius way to torture me. I possessed a mower that was perfectly capable of mowing, as long as it’s tilted in one direction. Why replace it? That’s money I could use for other things, like utility bills, food, or crutches. Besides, this is Indiana – I’m surprised there aren’t more right leaning lawn mowers. So I spent the next few years wearing out one side of my shoes.
Sometimes I think my lawn can’t slide away soon enough.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you don't stop to read, your lawn mower might inspire the next disaster movie.
Going back still another year, while I pushed that that very same mower, the handle suddenly dissolved into numerous pieces. They scattered across the lawn in a pattern that spelled out “Ha!” I found what I thought was one of those pieces still on the mower deck, and picked it up. The pattern of that bolt, which -- it turned out -- was actually from the engine, is imprinted to this day on the palm of my hand.
No connection could be established between that red-hot doohickey and the auto-dismembering handle, but what are the odds?
The lawn mower before that lost its life when I pulled the handle to start it, but failed to notice the rope didn’t retreat back into the machine, where it belonged. Then I mowed over the rope. It wasn’t pretty. My father eventually took that mower to his Home for Mistreated Machines (established in my honor), where it happily whacked away for years more, without a care. (In other words, without me.)
The one before that is the Infamous Exploding Lawnmower, which caused the first ever Level One Hazardous Material Emergency in the history of Noble County, and was featured on both CNN and “The Simpson’s”. The parts that could be located are on display in the Smithsonian, after being borrowed by an investigation team from the History Channel program, “Engineering Disasters”.
What I’m saying is, I have a history.
After the most recent lawn mower sacrificed its lifeblood (still visible in a dead patch of grass that spells out “help me”), a friend let me borrow his. I know – dumb friend!
Ironically, the mower ran just fine under my borrowship. It was a freakin’ miracle.
Then my friend gave me the mower, maybe assuming it was tainted. He wasn't wrong.
My mowers never screw up the same way twice. One time it's the starter rope; another time a cracked head (not unlike the one I got from a low hanging branch); then it’ll be sheets of flame and a towering mushroom cloud.
So I’m mowing the lawn the day after the mower officially became mine, and it stops. Just stops, after once around the lawn. I manage to get it started. Once around, it stops again. After some effort, including changing the gas, oil and sparkplug, and some imaginative praying, I get it going again. Once around, it stops.
Changing fluids is the extent of my capabilities. Yes, I can change the sparkplug, but that task once led to me regaining consciousness on top of the neighbor's car. But eventually, a realization hit me:
When the mower leaned toward the right, it kept running. When it leaned toward the left, it stopped. Every time.
I had a conservative lawn mower.
Okay, but how do I go the other way?
Luckily, very little of my lawn is level; in fact, there’s every indication the entire property is sliding downhill. The US Geological Service estimated that within the next hundred years my house will be west of the old car wash on the next block, which is bad because right now it’s east of the car wash. The same team that handled the Leaning Tower of Pizza is working on the problem.
But my lawn can't wait a hundred years, so my solution was simple: Keep the mower’s right side pointed downhill at all times.
I gotta tell you, that’s nowhere near as easy as I thought it might be:
* Sooner or later, you’ve got to turn around. Otherwise, the neighbors will get annoyed.
* When you back up, you can’t watch both the mower and the dog droppings.
* Slipping while pulling a lawnmower toward you is the closest thing you can get to an instant of sheer terror without being in a plane crash.
* Pulling a lawn mower toward you is dumb.
This was a genius way to torture me. I possessed a mower that was perfectly capable of mowing, as long as it’s tilted in one direction. Why replace it? That’s money I could use for other things, like utility bills, food, or crutches. Besides, this is Indiana – I’m surprised there aren’t more right leaning lawn mowers. So I spent the next few years wearing out one side of my shoes.
Sometimes I think my lawn can’t slide away soon enough.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you don't stop to read, your lawn mower might inspire the next disaster movie.
November 24, 2023
Writing, Thankfully
It's a rough time to find things to be thankful for. Oh, they're there: family, health ... okay, family. But our society today is geared toward stressing the bad, and taking the good for granted. It's human nature to complain; most of us do it. Right now, someone is complaining because I just used a semicolon. But I have a wife who gets me, grand-kids, a case of Mountain Dew in the kitchen, and I'm pretty sure there's chocolate around here, somewhere.
And my writing, which at various times in my life is the only thing that kept me sane. The following is an update to a blog I wrote way back in 2015. I wanted to let you know that in case anyone remembered it ... although it seems unlikely, after eight years of what the last eight years have been like.
_______________________________
On this Thanksgiving (this is Thanksgiving weekend, by the way, but all you turkeys already know that), I’d like to say how thankful I am for my dislike of self-promotion.
I’ve spent a lot of time writing press releases, blogging, signing books, and basically bragging about how I’m such a good writer that you should spend your time and money on me. It’s not in my nature. But then, neither is working, and I have to do that, too.
My first book came out in 2011. Now I have eleven published, with my name in three others, and a handful of published short stories.
When I first queried a publisher for a book length project I was eighteen—that was five years after my first "finished" novel. Please don't do the math on this, but it took me over thirty years to get a novel published.
But I did get published, and that’s something to be thankful for (among many other things). I may be struggling to make more sales, but I’m published—and a lot of writers don't make it that far. To show how thankful I am … I’m going to work hard to get more published. An unpublished book or short story should never rest on a writer’s desk (or hard drive) for long.
And I'm going to keep up my efforts to spread the word about our books (let's face it, half of them would never have been published without Emily. More than half.) For me, that's way more work than the actual writing.
But I'm thankful to be doing it.
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember to be thankful ... and also to read something fun.
And my writing, which at various times in my life is the only thing that kept me sane. The following is an update to a blog I wrote way back in 2015. I wanted to let you know that in case anyone remembered it ... although it seems unlikely, after eight years of what the last eight years have been like.
_______________________________
On this Thanksgiving (this is Thanksgiving weekend, by the way, but all you turkeys already know that), I’d like to say how thankful I am for my dislike of self-promotion.
I’ve spent a lot of time writing press releases, blogging, signing books, and basically bragging about how I’m such a good writer that you should spend your time and money on me. It’s not in my nature. But then, neither is working, and I have to do that, too.
My first book came out in 2011. Now I have eleven published, with my name in three others, and a handful of published short stories.
When I first queried a publisher for a book length project I was eighteen—that was five years after my first "finished" novel. Please don't do the math on this, but it took me over thirty years to get a novel published.
But I did get published, and that’s something to be thankful for (among many other things). I may be struggling to make more sales, but I’m published—and a lot of writers don't make it that far. To show how thankful I am … I’m going to work hard to get more published. An unpublished book or short story should never rest on a writer’s desk (or hard drive) for long.
And I'm going to keep up my efforts to spread the word about our books (let's face it, half of them would never have been published without Emily. More than half.) For me, that's way more work than the actual writing.
But I'm thankful to be doing it.
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember to be thankful ... and also to read something fun.
November 16, 2023
More Places To Find Coming Attractions ... and Others
On most of my blogs I end with links to our website, along with Amazon, and Barnes and Noble links. But Coming Attractions is distributed through Smashwords, which is a bit of a different story. (Smashwords also distributes the two ebook anthologies I have stories in.
So, just in time for Christmas, here are the links where you may find some of our other books, but can always find that particular one:
Smashwords (naturally):
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
(There's a dashing photo of me in my turnout gear on the page ... but the lack of a beard indicates it's an old one.)
Apple Books (which actually has five of our books):
books.apple.com/us/author/mark-r-hunt...
Barnes and Noble, of course, has a handful:
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22M...
Gardners Extended Retail!
https://www.gardners.com/Search/Keywo...
No, I've never heard of them, either. I was able to find several of our books there, but you have to have a free account with them to view the details.
Kobo has a few:
www.kobo.com/us/en/author/mark-r-hunter
Then there's Odilo, of course:
https://marketplace.odilo.us/opac/#index
Never heard of them; but if you search for Mark R. Hunter you'll find Coming Attractions and our Images of America book.
And naturally, there's Scribd!
https://www.scribd.com/author/3405379...
I actually have heard of them, but never mind. Apparently they've sent all their ebooks to a place called Everand, https://www.everand.com/author/340537..., which is a subscription service.
So, when you add to those our Amazon account:
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
(Amazon is why some of our stuff doesn't get around to other places--long story.)
And our website:
http://www.markrhunter.com/
You have ... a list!
I've also shown up on a lot of those sketchy sites where I never put it; the internet equivalent of some guy selling books out of the back of his van. "Hey, mister ... check out this romantic comedy. I also have watches and used wallets."
Honestly, the list is partially for me, so I remember, but I'll take sales wherever I can get them. Have any of you encountered any of our books elsewhere on the net? Let me know, and I'll add it to the list.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you give books instead of bigger presents, Santa has more room on his sled. Hold out for that second present!
So, just in time for Christmas, here are the links where you may find some of our other books, but can always find that particular one:
Smashwords (naturally):
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
(There's a dashing photo of me in my turnout gear on the page ... but the lack of a beard indicates it's an old one.)
Apple Books (which actually has five of our books):
books.apple.com/us/author/mark-r-hunt...
Barnes and Noble, of course, has a handful:
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22M...
Gardners Extended Retail!
https://www.gardners.com/Search/Keywo...
No, I've never heard of them, either. I was able to find several of our books there, but you have to have a free account with them to view the details.
Kobo has a few:
www.kobo.com/us/en/author/mark-r-hunter
Then there's Odilo, of course:
https://marketplace.odilo.us/opac/#index
Never heard of them; but if you search for Mark R. Hunter you'll find Coming Attractions and our Images of America book.
And naturally, there's Scribd!
https://www.scribd.com/author/3405379...
I actually have heard of them, but never mind. Apparently they've sent all their ebooks to a place called Everand, https://www.everand.com/author/340537..., which is a subscription service.
So, when you add to those our Amazon account:
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
(Amazon is why some of our stuff doesn't get around to other places--long story.)
And our website:
http://www.markrhunter.com/
You have ... a list!
I've also shown up on a lot of those sketchy sites where I never put it; the internet equivalent of some guy selling books out of the back of his van. "Hey, mister ... check out this romantic comedy. I also have watches and used wallets."
Honestly, the list is partially for me, so I remember, but I'll take sales wherever I can get them. Have any of you encountered any of our books elsewhere on the net? Let me know, and I'll add it to the list.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you give books instead of bigger presents, Santa has more room on his sled. Hold out for that second present!
November 10, 2023
Let's Start Christmas Right Now. Seriously.
As all fourteen of my regular readers know, I've always had this thing about putting up Christmas decorations, or in any way mentioning Christmas, before Thanksgiving.
By "thing" I mean seeing anything Christmas related before mid-November would send me into a murderous rage. That's how I got banned from Wal-Mart.
I thought, and still think, starting Christmas while people are going down with heat exhaustion cheapens the holiday, and makes it overstay its welcome. I was okay with putting outside lights up early, mind you--as long as they weren't turned on until Thanksgiving weekend.
So I asked my State and Federal representatives to open a new hunting season: Any lit (or inflated) Christmas decorations seen before Thanksgiving would be open season. Shoot to darken!
That's how I used to feel.
Not this year. This year I'm a happy little friggin' elf.
Why? Because 2023 has been crap. In fact, it's been the crappiest of the 2020s, which has been the crappiest decade of the century. I know we're not that far in, but let's face it: A stream of horrible years doesn't make the most horrible less horrible. Someone get me that on a t-shirt.
Deaths, health scares, politics, extremists, the Kardashians are still around ... our dog died and our car broke down. That's a country song, man.
So, as the song goes: We need a little Christmas, today. Get started. Brighten up everything--make those electric meters spin. We need the color, the lights, the cheer, even the songs. Yes, I know Christmas is too commercial these days.
But so what? You don't have to be commercial. I mean, yeah, you should buy books to give out as Christmas presents, but otherwise don't worry about it: Just kick back and relax some between now and the 25th (of next month). Make the time. Watch a Christmas movie, curl up on the couch listening to Christmas music (ahem--while reading a good book, or one of mine), do whatever it takes to bring down the stress level a little. There's no law against it. I know, because my Representatives wouldn't return my calls.
Merry Christmas! Party early, and keep those lights on after the holidays, right up until the Santa Mafia shows up to get you committed.
The Santas are just grumpy because they have to work through the holidays.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time a book gets rung up, an author gets his wings.
By "thing" I mean seeing anything Christmas related before mid-November would send me into a murderous rage. That's how I got banned from Wal-Mart.
I thought, and still think, starting Christmas while people are going down with heat exhaustion cheapens the holiday, and makes it overstay its welcome. I was okay with putting outside lights up early, mind you--as long as they weren't turned on until Thanksgiving weekend.
So I asked my State and Federal representatives to open a new hunting season: Any lit (or inflated) Christmas decorations seen before Thanksgiving would be open season. Shoot to darken!
That's how I used to feel.
Not this year. This year I'm a happy little friggin' elf.
Why? Because 2023 has been crap. In fact, it's been the crappiest of the 2020s, which has been the crappiest decade of the century. I know we're not that far in, but let's face it: A stream of horrible years doesn't make the most horrible less horrible. Someone get me that on a t-shirt.
Deaths, health scares, politics, extremists, the Kardashians are still around ... our dog died and our car broke down. That's a country song, man.
So, as the song goes: We need a little Christmas, today. Get started. Brighten up everything--make those electric meters spin. We need the color, the lights, the cheer, even the songs. Yes, I know Christmas is too commercial these days.
But so what? You don't have to be commercial. I mean, yeah, you should buy books to give out as Christmas presents, but otherwise don't worry about it: Just kick back and relax some between now and the 25th (of next month). Make the time. Watch a Christmas movie, curl up on the couch listening to Christmas music (ahem--while reading a good book, or one of mine), do whatever it takes to bring down the stress level a little. There's no law against it. I know, because my Representatives wouldn't return my calls.
Merry Christmas! Party early, and keep those lights on after the holidays, right up until the Santa Mafia shows up to get you committed.
The Santas are just grumpy because they have to work through the holidays.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time a book gets rung up, an author gets his wings.
November 7, 2023
Hoosier Hysterical pokes fun at Indiana history
History can be funny, even if it makes history teachers roll over in their graves (hopefully not while they’re still alive). In Hoosier Hysterical, Mark and Emily Hunter tour Indiana in an off-the-wall, Indy 500-style race though the past, from Paleo-Indians through the Northwest Territory, to the gas in Gas City.
http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHys...
Along the way we encounter killers, heroes, trivia, and of course, Johnny Appleseed. It’s as American as sugar cream pie—Indiana’s state pie, thanks to the efforts of a hard-working state General Assembly. So sit back and have some fun … and if you accidentally learn something along the way, that's just gravy ... on breaded tenderloin.
You can order Hoosier Hysterical and our other books in the regular places:
http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
http://www.markrhunter.com/HoosierHys...
Along the way we encounter killers, heroes, trivia, and of course, Johnny Appleseed. It’s as American as sugar cream pie—Indiana’s state pie, thanks to the efforts of a hard-working state General Assembly. So sit back and have some fun … and if you accidentally learn something along the way, that's just gravy ... on breaded tenderloin.
You can order Hoosier Hysterical and our other books in the regular places:
http://markrhunter.com/
https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
November 1, 2023
Can Anyone In This Time Read Romanian?
Okay, so check this out: As I'm sure all of you remember, back in 2021 I had a short story, "Everybody Knows Your Name", published in East Of the Web, an online fiction magazine. The original short story is here:
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-sto...
And the post I made about it is here:
https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2021...
Not that you need to read the blog post, but I try to be thorough. Anyway, the story has been translated and republished ... in Romanian.
It has TOO. I have proof:
https://fictiuni.ro/toti-iti-stiu-num...
Ha! Told you. The Senior Editor, a very nice man named Nicu Gecse, asked if I would allow the story on fictiuni.ro for their tenth anniversary issue. As you might imagined, I checked to make sure it's the real deal, and it is--they've even published an Isaac Asimov story.
"Everyone Knows Your Name" is the story of a time traveler whose first trip--as tends to happen with time travelers--doesn't go at all the way he planned. I love time travel stories, and I tried to make this one original, and ... maybe I succeeded. If not, I'll just go back to 1955 and try again.
So you people taking Romanian to get that language minor, here you go--enjoy! Of course, the story won't be a true classic until it's translated into Klingon.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you ever go time traveling, take a good translation book with you.
http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-sto...
And the post I made about it is here:
https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/2021...
Not that you need to read the blog post, but I try to be thorough. Anyway, the story has been translated and republished ... in Romanian.
It has TOO. I have proof:
https://fictiuni.ro/toti-iti-stiu-num...
Ha! Told you. The Senior Editor, a very nice man named Nicu Gecse, asked if I would allow the story on fictiuni.ro for their tenth anniversary issue. As you might imagined, I checked to make sure it's the real deal, and it is--they've even published an Isaac Asimov story.
"Everyone Knows Your Name" is the story of a time traveler whose first trip--as tends to happen with time travelers--doesn't go at all the way he planned. I love time travel stories, and I tried to make this one original, and ... maybe I succeeded. If not, I'll just go back to 1955 and try again.
So you people taking Romanian to get that language minor, here you go--enjoy! Of course, the story won't be a true classic until it's translated into Klingon.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, if you ever go time traveling, take a good translation book with you.
October 28, 2023
Halloween Costumes for Fending Off the Cold
There’s probably no better timed holiday than Halloween. After all, it comes just before the two most frightening times on the calendar: Winter, and elections.
It’s hardly surprising, then, that one popular Halloween mask is any famous politician. Some years ago I went out as a Senator, stopped all the other Trick-Or-Treaters, and collected 28% of their candy. The problem is, half the people don’t recognize political figures, and the other half get too scared.
So my criteria for choosing a costume: Warmth. It’s not unheard of here to have snow by the end of October. Any Hoosier parent will tell you the main task in designing their kid’s costume is incorporating a heavy coat and snow boots. Dressing as an astronaut is very popular.
I stopped celebrating Halloween after realizing I can just go to the store, buy all the candy I want, turn off the porch light and eat it inside, in the warmth.
No human can produce a Halloween more frightening than staring another Midwest winter in its frostbitten face. So those times when forced to go out for Halloween, I dressed as an Eskimo (These days I'd be an Inuit, or Yupik). Once, to mix it up, I went as that kid Kenny from South Park, even though it killed me. He dresses as an Eskimo. I still wasn't warm – an entire calendar worth of Playmates of the Year couldn’t warm me up in autumn or winter – but at least I tried.
My wife loves Halloween--it’s one of her few faults. She refused to marry me until I agreed to go annually to my brother’s Halloween parties, which were sadly held outside. Usually I hovered near his wood burning stove in the garage, especially after Emily decided I'd used up my Eskimo turns and had to try something new.
One year we went as zombies. We attended the Zombie Walk in Kendallville, shuffled to a cemetery for a photo op, and then, just for fun, walked into a grocery store and demanded bran. The clerk said, “Last year you were way scarier as Dick Cheney”.
We tried to do costumes on the cheap, because I’m cheap. That gave me two possibilities, both wearable with insulted long underwear:
My adopted brother Martin gave me bags of hand-me-down clothes. Being that I’m a small town white person and he’s a black guy from Fort Wayne (which is big city by my standards), we didn’t have the same fashion sense, but see above about me being cheap.
Anyway, I found a couple of items that I’m fairly sure he threw in just to mess with me. One was a uniquely loud puffy shirt, the other a pair of oversized parachute pants that buttoned all the way down the side. I refuse to believe he ever wore these things in public.
I could go to Halloween as a stereotypical 70’s disco black guy, or as a clown. While I’ll never be politically correct, we all know I’m not brave/dumb enough to tackle the former.
The second choice was something my mother bought for me, back when she (correctly) thought I needed to get fit. It was designed to hold in body heat and moisture while you exercise, apparently under the assumption that you’ll sweat yourself healthy. It’s like a portable sauna. I used it once on the treadmill, and lost twelve pounds in thirty minutes. That day I could have gone trick-or-treating as a zombie without needing any makeup, assuming I could walk in a straight line, which I couldn’t.
It was basically an all silver track suit, neck to toe. A little silver makeup, aluminum foil hat, and – tah-dah! The Tin Woodman. Or a space alien.
That's what I'll choose if I ever go again: Any candy I ate would sweat out of me by the time I made it home. Plus, anything that reflects that much body heat back is bound to keep me warm, no matter how cold it gets outside. Since my one and only goal from October through March is staying warm, I could celebrate Halloween for months … even if the upcoming political campaign leaves me cold.
And if that doesn’t work, the Eskimo costume is standing by.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, everyone who doesn't read is risking a visit from Edgar Allan Poe.
It’s hardly surprising, then, that one popular Halloween mask is any famous politician. Some years ago I went out as a Senator, stopped all the other Trick-Or-Treaters, and collected 28% of their candy. The problem is, half the people don’t recognize political figures, and the other half get too scared.
So my criteria for choosing a costume: Warmth. It’s not unheard of here to have snow by the end of October. Any Hoosier parent will tell you the main task in designing their kid’s costume is incorporating a heavy coat and snow boots. Dressing as an astronaut is very popular.
I stopped celebrating Halloween after realizing I can just go to the store, buy all the candy I want, turn off the porch light and eat it inside, in the warmth.
No human can produce a Halloween more frightening than staring another Midwest winter in its frostbitten face. So those times when forced to go out for Halloween, I dressed as an Eskimo (These days I'd be an Inuit, or Yupik). Once, to mix it up, I went as that kid Kenny from South Park, even though it killed me. He dresses as an Eskimo. I still wasn't warm – an entire calendar worth of Playmates of the Year couldn’t warm me up in autumn or winter – but at least I tried.
My wife loves Halloween--it’s one of her few faults. She refused to marry me until I agreed to go annually to my brother’s Halloween parties, which were sadly held outside. Usually I hovered near his wood burning stove in the garage, especially after Emily decided I'd used up my Eskimo turns and had to try something new.
One year we went as zombies. We attended the Zombie Walk in Kendallville, shuffled to a cemetery for a photo op, and then, just for fun, walked into a grocery store and demanded bran. The clerk said, “Last year you were way scarier as Dick Cheney”.
We tried to do costumes on the cheap, because I’m cheap. That gave me two possibilities, both wearable with insulted long underwear:
My adopted brother Martin gave me bags of hand-me-down clothes. Being that I’m a small town white person and he’s a black guy from Fort Wayne (which is big city by my standards), we didn’t have the same fashion sense, but see above about me being cheap.
Anyway, I found a couple of items that I’m fairly sure he threw in just to mess with me. One was a uniquely loud puffy shirt, the other a pair of oversized parachute pants that buttoned all the way down the side. I refuse to believe he ever wore these things in public.
I could go to Halloween as a stereotypical 70’s disco black guy, or as a clown. While I’ll never be politically correct, we all know I’m not brave/dumb enough to tackle the former.
The second choice was something my mother bought for me, back when she (correctly) thought I needed to get fit. It was designed to hold in body heat and moisture while you exercise, apparently under the assumption that you’ll sweat yourself healthy. It’s like a portable sauna. I used it once on the treadmill, and lost twelve pounds in thirty minutes. That day I could have gone trick-or-treating as a zombie without needing any makeup, assuming I could walk in a straight line, which I couldn’t.
It was basically an all silver track suit, neck to toe. A little silver makeup, aluminum foil hat, and – tah-dah! The Tin Woodman. Or a space alien.
That's what I'll choose if I ever go again: Any candy I ate would sweat out of me by the time I made it home. Plus, anything that reflects that much body heat back is bound to keep me warm, no matter how cold it gets outside. Since my one and only goal from October through March is staying warm, I could celebrate Halloween for months … even if the upcoming political campaign leaves me cold.
And if that doesn’t work, the Eskimo costume is standing by.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, everyone who doesn't read is risking a visit from Edgar Allan Poe.
October 26, 2023
I Was a Big Time TV Star For Ten Minutes
My interview with Eric Olson of 21Alive's "21 Country" segment went pretty well, other than that TV cameras are really good at picking up bald spots. Here's the link:
https://www.21alivenews.com/2023/10/2...
Thanks to Eric, who's interviewed me three times now since I first got published in 2011. (I believe the last time was 2017.) I didn't think about it when he contacted me, but interviewing someone writing a book called "Haunted Noble County" pretty well fits in with the season, doesn't it?
Now I have to write the darned thing.
I'm actually progressing well on the research, and I've written some of the text. I'm running behind on going out to actually talk to people due to some ongoing time and health issues, but catching up is my middle name. (My middle name is actually Ketchup. Long story.)
\\
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Remember, not reading can lead to your being haunted by a dead author. They smell like ink and desperation.
https://www.21alivenews.com/2023/10/2...
Thanks to Eric, who's interviewed me three times now since I first got published in 2011. (I believe the last time was 2017.) I didn't think about it when he contacted me, but interviewing someone writing a book called "Haunted Noble County" pretty well fits in with the season, doesn't it?
Now I have to write the darned thing.
I'm actually progressing well on the research, and I've written some of the text. I'm running behind on going out to actually talk to people due to some ongoing time and health issues, but catching up is my middle name. (My middle name is actually Ketchup. Long story.)
\\
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Remember, not reading can lead to your being haunted by a dead author. They smell like ink and desperation.
October 23, 2023
Another TV Interview Coming Up
I was interviewed Friday by Eric Olson of Fort Wayne's 21Alive News (He's the 21Country Reporter), and he says it will come out this Wednesday, October 25th. Now, I don't know if that means morning, noon, evening news, 2 a.m news break ... or if some horrific thing will cause it to be rescheduled. Eric doesn't think so, but the last time he interviewed me it didn't air on the scheduled date. Fingers crossed! Here's some info about him:
https://www.21alivenews.com/authors/E...
This is the third interview he's done with me, and the fourth TV interview I've ever done. This time it was not about our books, but our book to be: Haunted Noble County, Indiana. I'll put up a link to the interview when it goes up online. As for how it went, I have confidence in Eric's ability to edit out my throat clearings and verbal face plants.
He interviewed me at home, and also took some video footage at Albion's Rose Hill Cemetery, which I told him has some history of hauntings, and the Old Noble County Jail Museum, which I told him looks like it should, but doesn't.
We cleaned up the office for this. Seriously.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, whenever you don't buy a book, a stack of manuscripts start to build up on writing desks. Save our sanity.
https://www.21alivenews.com/authors/E...
This is the third interview he's done with me, and the fourth TV interview I've ever done. This time it was not about our books, but our book to be: Haunted Noble County, Indiana. I'll put up a link to the interview when it goes up online. As for how it went, I have confidence in Eric's ability to edit out my throat clearings and verbal face plants.
He interviewed me at home, and also took some video footage at Albion's Rose Hill Cemetery, which I told him has some history of hauntings, and the Old Noble County Jail Museum, which I told him looks like it should, but doesn't.
We cleaned up the office for this. Seriously.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, whenever you don't buy a book, a stack of manuscripts start to build up on writing desks. Save our sanity.
October 19, 2023
A Flaming Interest in Flammable Gas
Many thanks to Mike Miller of NIPSCO, who gave a presentation on flammable gasses at the Albion Fire Department recently. Miller, also an experienced firefighter, used props and demonstrations to show the properties and hazards of propane and natural gas.
You can watch a few short videos of it here:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S2N8-o...
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ozm7IL...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyju6...
Boy, I sure hope those links work.
Mike had a full career as a firefighter before going to work with NIPSCO. I think it's safe to say if you want someone around in a gas emergency, he'd be the one.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, reading cuts down on dangerous gasses. Of course, so does avoiding beans.
You can watch a few short videos of it here:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/S2N8-o...
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ozm7IL...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dyju6...
Boy, I sure hope those links work.
Mike had a full career as a firefighter before going to work with NIPSCO. I think it's safe to say if you want someone around in a gas emergency, he'd be the one.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember, reading cuts down on dangerous gasses. Of course, so does avoiding beans.
