Mark R. Hunter's Blog, page 7
August 3, 2024
Old Olympics Events Leave Fans Confused
Here's a look at some past Olympic sports that are no longer in the games.
Several years ago, baseball and softball were pulled from competition. The American women dominated in softball, while in baseball Americans … well, they only got three medals in five tries. The Cuban team grabbed the gold. There’s not much else to do in Cuba, except play baseball and stare longingly toward Florida, where senior citizens have high speed internet and all-you-can-eat buffets.
In lacrosse, a medal event in 1904 and 1908, people in face masks hit their balls with big fly swatters. It died out in the early 1900’s because only the Canadians, British, and Americans were willing to take the punishment. Former lacrosse players are now employed as dog catchers and butterfly collectors.
Basque pelota was only a medal event in 1900, because nobody could figure out how to pronounce it. It’s played on a court with a ball, sometimes using a racket, but sometimes not.
In other words, it’s handball. If they’d called it that, basque pelota-ites would be on Wheaties boxes.
Tandem cycling was popular in the Olympics, from 1920-72. It’s being considered again with more interesting rules: The guy in front steers, while the guy in back can lash out at other competitors with lacrosse sticks. It’s now a favorite of retired hockey players.
In 1948 winter pentathlon was put on as a demonstration sport, and consisted of downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, shooting, fencing, and horse riding.
All together. In the same event.
Sweden, which remained more or less neutral through World War II, had a whole army of young men just itching to shoot something: They swept all the winter pentathlon medals. However, the sport was discontinued after ski-clad Swedes on horseback shot all the competitors’ horses while jumping over the fencing.
Motorboarding--I initially thought this was something altogether different--was tried in 1908. It ended with only one boat finishing in each of three races. It turns out the Swedes used their winter pentathlon rifles to shoot up the other boat engines, leading officials to change to rowing.
Polo was a favorite Olympic event in the early 1900’s, but it was canceled after the Swedes sent in their entry forms.
The Olympics also tried an obstacle course … for swimmers. Competitors had to climb over a pole, go over a row of boats, and then swim under another row of boats. Luckily they had an excess of boats left over from the motorboat races.
Speaking of swimming, in 1984 they tried solo synchronized swimming.
Think about it.
Then there’s the one Olympic sport I actually participated in: Tug of war. Not in the Olympics, but we won, and didn’t have to borrow Swedish rifles to do it. Between 1900 and 1920 the sport was dominated by Great Britain, which sent teams of police officers. And remember, their cops were unarmed. Good thing the Swedes didn’t have a team.
Distance plunging would have been interesting … or not. Athletes would dive into the pool and coast underwater, without moving.
That’s it. The winner is the one who drifted the longest in sixty seconds, or when they floated to the surface, whichever came first. An American won the gold, although it should be noted that this competition happened only once, in the 1904 St. Louis Olympics. It should also be noted that only Americans competed.
I’m not sure how they could tell whether the athlete was winning, or drowning.
Also at St. Louis, another US competitor did an impressive job winning gold in a sport that still gives old gym class haters nightmares: the rope climb. Why was George Eyser so impressive? Because he had a wooden leg.
In 1906 they tried the sport of pistol dueling. No, it wasn’t won by a Swede. It wasn’t really dueling, either: Competitors shot at a dummy dressed in a frock coat, and by dummy I don’t mean the guy who planned the Sochi games. It’s a good thing, because it could have been the one sport where the silver and bronze medals were awarded posthumously.
Finally, here’s a sport they tried just once, at the 1900 Paris Olympics:
Live pigeon shooting.
When the feathers cleared, a Belgian named Leon de Lunden got the gold for downing 21 birds, none of which had a say in the matter. Then he celebrated with a steak dinner.
Once the onlookers got a look at the mess left behind, they decided the Swedes weren’t so bad.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember, books can make your brain strong enough to win a Reading Gold.
Several years ago, baseball and softball were pulled from competition. The American women dominated in softball, while in baseball Americans … well, they only got three medals in five tries. The Cuban team grabbed the gold. There’s not much else to do in Cuba, except play baseball and stare longingly toward Florida, where senior citizens have high speed internet and all-you-can-eat buffets.
In lacrosse, a medal event in 1904 and 1908, people in face masks hit their balls with big fly swatters. It died out in the early 1900’s because only the Canadians, British, and Americans were willing to take the punishment. Former lacrosse players are now employed as dog catchers and butterfly collectors.
Basque pelota was only a medal event in 1900, because nobody could figure out how to pronounce it. It’s played on a court with a ball, sometimes using a racket, but sometimes not.
In other words, it’s handball. If they’d called it that, basque pelota-ites would be on Wheaties boxes.
Tandem cycling was popular in the Olympics, from 1920-72. It’s being considered again with more interesting rules: The guy in front steers, while the guy in back can lash out at other competitors with lacrosse sticks. It’s now a favorite of retired hockey players.
In 1948 winter pentathlon was put on as a demonstration sport, and consisted of downhill skiing, cross-country skiing, shooting, fencing, and horse riding.
All together. In the same event.
Sweden, which remained more or less neutral through World War II, had a whole army of young men just itching to shoot something: They swept all the winter pentathlon medals. However, the sport was discontinued after ski-clad Swedes on horseback shot all the competitors’ horses while jumping over the fencing.
Motorboarding--I initially thought this was something altogether different--was tried in 1908. It ended with only one boat finishing in each of three races. It turns out the Swedes used their winter pentathlon rifles to shoot up the other boat engines, leading officials to change to rowing.
Polo was a favorite Olympic event in the early 1900’s, but it was canceled after the Swedes sent in their entry forms.
The Olympics also tried an obstacle course … for swimmers. Competitors had to climb over a pole, go over a row of boats, and then swim under another row of boats. Luckily they had an excess of boats left over from the motorboat races.
Speaking of swimming, in 1984 they tried solo synchronized swimming.
Think about it.
Then there’s the one Olympic sport I actually participated in: Tug of war. Not in the Olympics, but we won, and didn’t have to borrow Swedish rifles to do it. Between 1900 and 1920 the sport was dominated by Great Britain, which sent teams of police officers. And remember, their cops were unarmed. Good thing the Swedes didn’t have a team.
Distance plunging would have been interesting … or not. Athletes would dive into the pool and coast underwater, without moving.
That’s it. The winner is the one who drifted the longest in sixty seconds, or when they floated to the surface, whichever came first. An American won the gold, although it should be noted that this competition happened only once, in the 1904 St. Louis Olympics. It should also be noted that only Americans competed.
I’m not sure how they could tell whether the athlete was winning, or drowning.
Also at St. Louis, another US competitor did an impressive job winning gold in a sport that still gives old gym class haters nightmares: the rope climb. Why was George Eyser so impressive? Because he had a wooden leg.
In 1906 they tried the sport of pistol dueling. No, it wasn’t won by a Swede. It wasn’t really dueling, either: Competitors shot at a dummy dressed in a frock coat, and by dummy I don’t mean the guy who planned the Sochi games. It’s a good thing, because it could have been the one sport where the silver and bronze medals were awarded posthumously.
Finally, here’s a sport they tried just once, at the 1900 Paris Olympics:
Live pigeon shooting.
When the feathers cleared, a Belgian named Leon de Lunden got the gold for downing 21 birds, none of which had a say in the matter. Then he celebrated with a steak dinner.
Once the onlookers got a look at the mess left behind, they decided the Swedes weren’t so bad.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember, books can make your brain strong enough to win a Reading Gold.
July 25, 2024
Baby, You Can Drive My Car, If You Can Find It
I kept a secret for the last year, but now it's time to let that secret escape.
In September of 2016, our beloved Ford Focus fell victim to a guy trying to turn into traffic with the setting sun in his eyes. We replaced it with what became equally beloved, a 2014 Ford Escape, which I call burgundy but which is technically ruby red.
I cannot conceive of why there have to be fifty shades of red. When I became a volunteer firefighter, we had several fire trucks that were red. We had one that was burgundy. That's it. The names of colors never made us hungry.
Anyway, this car had a backup camera and a computer screen, neither of which I saw any use for, both of which I now wouldn't do without. We drove that car all over everywhere. Well, four states, anyway, and about two dozen state parks, not to mention Chicago. Don't get me started on Chicago.
It always amused me, how many ruby red SUVs we noticed on the road after that. Probably just the bias of us having one, but it seemed like we saw them everywhere.
"You get a ruby SUV, you get a ruby SUV--you all get a ruby SUV!"
When it developed a very small radiator leak I wasn't too concerned, until nobody could find the leak. I mean nobody, including mechanics and the dealer. Then one of the spark plugs started acting up. Then everything started acting up.
We drove it a LOT, mind you.
But estimates for fixing the problem, assuming we could figure out what the problem was, brought us into the "nickle and diming us" phase of car ownership. We needed a new car. Emily started researching, and I looked around.
We found a car that was a heck of a deal, if we were willing to drive some distance to look at it. We did. We looked. We fell in love.
Much to our surprise, we drove back home in a different car than the one we'd left in. Having learned my lessons, I embraced the changes that came with a vehicle five years newer. It has so much extra safety equipment that the insurance cost actually went down.
It also has heated seats, and a heated steering wheel, two things I used to make fun of. No more. The screen showed us where we were and where we were going, and the computer could connect our phones (audio book, yay!), make us hot tea, warn us if we were approaching a politician with his hand out, and even play the radio.
And it had remote start.
Whoever invented the remote start needs to win the Nobel Prize For Awesome.
As we headed home, I suggested to Emily that we play a little game. "Let's not tell anyone we bought a car, and see how long before anyone notices."
You see, we replaced the ruby red 2014 Ford Escape with a ruby red 2019 Ford Escape.
We took the front license plate off, but there's still a considerable difference in the front. In the back, not so much.
A few of my family members noticed right away--nobody else did unless I pointed it out to them. After all, someone else's car is not something the average person pays close attention to. Still, it was a lot of fun having the secret.
It was also a lot of fun seeing my speed in kilometers per hour: The car comes from Canada.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember, you don't have to drive somewhere to buy our books ... although if you want to, why not?
In September of 2016, our beloved Ford Focus fell victim to a guy trying to turn into traffic with the setting sun in his eyes. We replaced it with what became equally beloved, a 2014 Ford Escape, which I call burgundy but which is technically ruby red.
I cannot conceive of why there have to be fifty shades of red. When I became a volunteer firefighter, we had several fire trucks that were red. We had one that was burgundy. That's it. The names of colors never made us hungry.
Anyway, this car had a backup camera and a computer screen, neither of which I saw any use for, both of which I now wouldn't do without. We drove that car all over everywhere. Well, four states, anyway, and about two dozen state parks, not to mention Chicago. Don't get me started on Chicago.
It always amused me, how many ruby red SUVs we noticed on the road after that. Probably just the bias of us having one, but it seemed like we saw them everywhere.
"You get a ruby SUV, you get a ruby SUV--you all get a ruby SUV!"
When it developed a very small radiator leak I wasn't too concerned, until nobody could find the leak. I mean nobody, including mechanics and the dealer. Then one of the spark plugs started acting up. Then everything started acting up.
We drove it a LOT, mind you.
But estimates for fixing the problem, assuming we could figure out what the problem was, brought us into the "nickle and diming us" phase of car ownership. We needed a new car. Emily started researching, and I looked around.
We found a car that was a heck of a deal, if we were willing to drive some distance to look at it. We did. We looked. We fell in love.
Much to our surprise, we drove back home in a different car than the one we'd left in. Having learned my lessons, I embraced the changes that came with a vehicle five years newer. It has so much extra safety equipment that the insurance cost actually went down.
It also has heated seats, and a heated steering wheel, two things I used to make fun of. No more. The screen showed us where we were and where we were going, and the computer could connect our phones (audio book, yay!), make us hot tea, warn us if we were approaching a politician with his hand out, and even play the radio.
And it had remote start.
Whoever invented the remote start needs to win the Nobel Prize For Awesome.
As we headed home, I suggested to Emily that we play a little game. "Let's not tell anyone we bought a car, and see how long before anyone notices."
You see, we replaced the ruby red 2014 Ford Escape with a ruby red 2019 Ford Escape.
We took the front license plate off, but there's still a considerable difference in the front. In the back, not so much.
A few of my family members noticed right away--nobody else did unless I pointed it out to them. After all, someone else's car is not something the average person pays close attention to. Still, it was a lot of fun having the secret.
It was also a lot of fun seeing my speed in kilometers per hour: The car comes from Canada.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember, you don't have to drive somewhere to buy our books ... although if you want to, why not?
July 20, 2024
How Much Is An Author Worth?
Never mind how much a book is worth to you; how much is an author worth to you?
After all, a book is only a shaving off a tree, or a little blip of electricity. An author, on the other hand, is a living being who needs not only reviews and sales, but also coffee (or in my case tea), food, electricity, and occasionally a new laptop. My wife bought me a keyboard that feels and sounds just like a typewriter: It brings me great joy, but also cost about a month's worth of book sales.
Not that it was expensive, I just don't sell that many books.
How much a reader should pay for a book is a question that's been debated since Gutenberg bought too much ink and ran his first Black Friday sale. Among other things, it depends on your level of fame. The ebook edition of Stephen King's newest book is priced at $14.99, more than some of my print books. Our traditional publisher has our photo-heavy history book Images of America: Albion and Noble County priced at $12.99 as an ebook, and another publisher has my romantic comedy Radio Red at $3.99.
Guess how many books King sells, compared to me? Yep: The answer is "lots".
We do better with our self-published books, which run from 99 cents to $2.99 as ebooks. Fun fact: Some readers refuse to buy 99 cent books, assuming at that price they can't be any good. This assumption is both foolish and wrong. I suspect that price is often an act of desperation by good writers.
On the other end of it, Hoosier Hysterical has lots of pictures, and we can't sell it at less than $2.99 without losing money. That's the best we can do without just giving it away. Hold that thought.
So, ten or twelve bucks for an electronic book. Crazy expensive, right? I mean, we don't have to pay for paper, ink, shipping ... how greedy can we be?
But how much is an author worth?
Three times I've written the rough draft of a book in thirty days. That's great, but it took a few weeks to prepare for the writing, then a month or two after to revise it before the story was decent enough for my wife to read. Then there's the revision after she returns it to me. The month of actual writing, when I push it hard, consists of working my full time job, writing, eating while writing, and nothing else. Some people can get books out the door faster, but I have to think they don't have full time jobs.
The old joke: An author can't make enough money to write full time until he's written and sold enough books, which he can't do until he writes full time.
So it goes.
So, a dollar for something it took me at least three months to produce, not including all the time spent on promotion and advertising? Writers are worth more than that. Even me.
Which brings us to giving books away for free.
Some authors swear that giving their ebooks away gets them so much attention that people come back and buy their other books, thus advancing their career in the long run. That seems to work for them, but it's not been my experience. Just the same, every July for the last few years I've entered the one novel I have up on Smashwords, Coming Attractions, into the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale.
Has it resulted in more readers for the other books? Not that I've noticed. It doesn't even lead to that many readers picking it up for free. Smashwords has a lot of authors, so my deal has to fight for attention with all those other deals. On the other hand, my sales aren't great in July to begin with, and it doesn't seem to be doing me any harm, either.
I'm curious how you, both the reader and the writer, feel on the subject. Maybe I'll try other giveaways at some point, even though I don't think authors should have to do that. I also don't think authors should have to spend so much time promoting and advertising, but welcome to the real world. How do you feel on the subject?
Oh, and Coming Attractions is free here:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
But you already knew that.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember: Every time you get a book for free, it counts as a free book.
After all, a book is only a shaving off a tree, or a little blip of electricity. An author, on the other hand, is a living being who needs not only reviews and sales, but also coffee (or in my case tea), food, electricity, and occasionally a new laptop. My wife bought me a keyboard that feels and sounds just like a typewriter: It brings me great joy, but also cost about a month's worth of book sales.
Not that it was expensive, I just don't sell that many books.
How much a reader should pay for a book is a question that's been debated since Gutenberg bought too much ink and ran his first Black Friday sale. Among other things, it depends on your level of fame. The ebook edition of Stephen King's newest book is priced at $14.99, more than some of my print books. Our traditional publisher has our photo-heavy history book Images of America: Albion and Noble County priced at $12.99 as an ebook, and another publisher has my romantic comedy Radio Red at $3.99.
Guess how many books King sells, compared to me? Yep: The answer is "lots".
We do better with our self-published books, which run from 99 cents to $2.99 as ebooks. Fun fact: Some readers refuse to buy 99 cent books, assuming at that price they can't be any good. This assumption is both foolish and wrong. I suspect that price is often an act of desperation by good writers.
On the other end of it, Hoosier Hysterical has lots of pictures, and we can't sell it at less than $2.99 without losing money. That's the best we can do without just giving it away. Hold that thought.
So, ten or twelve bucks for an electronic book. Crazy expensive, right? I mean, we don't have to pay for paper, ink, shipping ... how greedy can we be?
But how much is an author worth?
Three times I've written the rough draft of a book in thirty days. That's great, but it took a few weeks to prepare for the writing, then a month or two after to revise it before the story was decent enough for my wife to read. Then there's the revision after she returns it to me. The month of actual writing, when I push it hard, consists of working my full time job, writing, eating while writing, and nothing else. Some people can get books out the door faster, but I have to think they don't have full time jobs.
The old joke: An author can't make enough money to write full time until he's written and sold enough books, which he can't do until he writes full time.
So it goes.
So, a dollar for something it took me at least three months to produce, not including all the time spent on promotion and advertising? Writers are worth more than that. Even me.
Which brings us to giving books away for free.
Some authors swear that giving their ebooks away gets them so much attention that people come back and buy their other books, thus advancing their career in the long run. That seems to work for them, but it's not been my experience. Just the same, every July for the last few years I've entered the one novel I have up on Smashwords, Coming Attractions, into the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale.
Has it resulted in more readers for the other books? Not that I've noticed. It doesn't even lead to that many readers picking it up for free. Smashwords has a lot of authors, so my deal has to fight for attention with all those other deals. On the other hand, my sales aren't great in July to begin with, and it doesn't seem to be doing me any harm, either.
I'm curious how you, both the reader and the writer, feel on the subject. Maybe I'll try other giveaways at some point, even though I don't think authors should have to do that. I also don't think authors should have to spend so much time promoting and advertising, but welcome to the real world. How do you feel on the subject?
Oh, and Coming Attractions is free here:
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
But you already knew that.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi...
Remember: Every time you get a book for free, it counts as a free book.
July 4, 2024
How the First World War Led to American Independence
This is the tenth anniversary of one of my favorite blogs, and also of this one. I reran it a few years ago, but few people read it because it's about history. As I said in the opening to our book "Hoosier Hysterical", history would be a lot more fun if it was made ... well ... fun. So I had fun with this. (It's been changed slightly, because I'm older.)
Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.
Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history--there’s so much more of it now--here's a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:
1756: The French and Indian War
This was probably the first World War. Seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians, who had their own list of nations.
(Later Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)
The war cost the British government so much, they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. Yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, plus there was that whole taxation without representation thing.
Oh, one more thing: The whole world war began (mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far western wilderness … near Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be more careful to start battles after war was declared.
1770: The Boston Massacre:
No, it wasn’t a sporting event. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which can indeed break bones.
This is why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.
1773: The Boston Tea Party
Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government, and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.
But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.
1774: The First Continental Congress
They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.
1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot
With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.
The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped ignite the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard one line of his big speech: “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.
1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.
He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”
Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, fool! We are the British!”
Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.
Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord
Revere discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.
1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress
Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.
1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill
GPS misdirected the troops, who actually fought on Breeds Hill.
177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada
Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.
1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire frontier
They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud. Also, they were mad about getting named for a country on the other side of the world.
June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee reminds the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?
June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk, and they left theirs at home.
June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.
July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.
July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.
July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.
July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.
There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the real second World War.
Now, that’s a funny story.
What's that, you ask? Why yes, of course you can celebrate July 4th, or any date, by buying Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All:
https://www.amazon.com/Hoosier-Hyster...
https://markrhunter.com/HoosierHyster...
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hoos...
https://bookshop.org/p/books/hoosier-...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...
Ever since Christopher Columbus first landed in the New World and hid all the Viking artifacts, America has been a land of opportunity, independence, and smallpox.
Eventually the British colonists decided to go off and form their own country. (Except for Canadians, who were too polite to leave.) Since our schools don’t teach enough history--there’s so much more of it now--here's a quick timeline of how we, the people, went from tea to coffee:
1756: The French and Indian War
This was probably the first World War. Seriously: Over here we just mention the French and Indians, but the rest of the world called it the Seven Years War. It spread all over the globe, like a viral YouTube video, but with more cannon fire and disease. Nations involved included Austria, England, France, Great Britain, Prussia, and Sweden. Oh, and the Indians, who had their own list of nations.
(Later Prussia, not wanting to be confused with Russia, changed their name to Germany.)
The war cost the British government so much, they began taxing the colonists to help pay for it. Yet they didn’t allow the colonies to raise their own armies, plus there was that whole taxation without representation thing.
Oh, one more thing: The whole world war began (mostly) because a young Virginia militia leader ambushed a French scouting party in the far western wilderness … near Pittsburgh. In later years, George Washington would be more careful to start battles after war was declared.
1770: The Boston Massacre:
No, it wasn’t a sporting event. It started when a group of colonists began throwing snowballs at a squad of British soldiers (In Boston. Sheesh.). That’s not so bad, is it? Then the colonists starting tossing sticks and stones, which can indeed break bones.
This is why you shouldn’t throw stuff at people with guns. Five colonists died and the soldiers were arrested, but they were mostly acquitted thanks to the crafty defense by a young lawyer names John Adams.
1773: The Boston Tea Party
Tired of high taxes, an unresponsive government, and Earl Gray, colonists (In Boston—sheesh) dressed up as Indians, sneaked aboard ships (In the harbor—sheesh), and tossed 342 chests of tea into the water. In today’s dollars, they turned Boston harbor into the world’s biggest cup, with $750,000 worth of tea. They were led, of course, by the famous Boston patriot Folger “Starbuck” Maxwell.
But why blame the Indians? They didn’t even drink tea.
1774: The First Continental Congress
They didn’t get much done. But in their defense, they were a Congress.
1775: Patrick Henry stirs the pot
With the grievances of the colonists ignored by a remote government—sort of like today, only without Facebook—a radical named Patrick Henry, upset because he had two first names and no last one, began making fiery speeches and resolutions.
The truth is, Henry was kind of a deadbeat. Worse, a lawyer. But man, he sure could talk good, and his actions helped ignite the American Revolution. You’ve probably heard one line of his big speech: “Give me liberty or give me death!” Luckily, he got liberty.
1775: The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere.
He rode through the countryside yelling, “The British are coming!”
Sleepy residents yelled back, “Shut up, fool! We are the British!”
Then he got arrested, probably for violating the noise ordinance, and the ride was completed by William Dawes. Unfortunately for Dawes, the name “Paul Revere” sounded better in poetry.
Also 1775 (busy year, there): The Battle of Lexington and Concord
Revere discovered the British were marching by sea, which slowed them down considerably because the horses didn’t swim well. That gave the Minutemen almost a full two minutes. It was plenty of time to gather in Lexington, to protect stores of arms and gunpowder, and Concord, to protect the grapes.
1775 (saw that coming, didn’t you?): The Second Continental Congress
Didn’t get much done. They made up for it in 1776, though.
1775 or so: The Battle of Bunker Hill
GPS misdirected the troops, who actually fought on Breeds Hill.
177—wait for it—5: Patriots occupy Montreal, Canada
Things were looking up, up there. And that’s the last time things looked up for the Revolutionaries in the north, who discovered Canadian hospitality didn’t extend to invasion.
1776 (finally!) Egged on by the British, Cherokee Indians attack along the entire frontier
They were still upset about the whole Tea Party fraud. Also, they were mad about getting named for a country on the other side of the world.
June 7, 1776: Richard Henry Lee reminds the Continental Congress that they’ve been rebelling for more than a year, and wouldn’t it be a good idea to actually declare themselves to be rebelling?
June 11: Five Congressmen are appointed to draft a Declaration of Independence. The other four talk Thomas Jefferson into doing the writing, pointing out that he’s the only one who’s invented a portable desk, and they left theirs at home.
June 12-27: Jefferson writes a rough draft, only to receive a rejection letter from the committee.
July 1-4: The entire Congress rips apart the Declaration. (Not literally. Sheesh.) Jefferson quits writing and goes into politics.
July 2: Congress declares independence, just as the British fleet and army arrive to invade New York. Talk about timing. John Adams declares that July 2 will forever be celebrated as Independence Day.
July 4: Having already declared independence, Congress now adopts the Declaration of Independence, declaring something they’ve already declared. John Adams’ head explodes.
July 9: George Washington has the Declaration read before the American army. The soldiers nod politely and ask when they’re going to get paid.
There was much more to it, of course. In fact, you could say the American Revolution went on until the US Constitution was adopted in 1788, or even until we fought the second Revolutionary war in 1812, which might also be related to the real second World War.
Now, that’s a funny story.
What's that, you ask? Why yes, of course you can celebrate July 4th, or any date, by buying Hoosier Hysterical: How the West Became the Midwest Without Moving At All:
https://www.amazon.com/Hoosier-Hyster...
https://markrhunter.com/HoosierHyster...
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/hoos...
https://bookshop.org/p/books/hoosier-...
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/3...
July 3, 2024
Coming Attractions: Free Book in July
From July 1s until July 31st we're once again participating in the Smashwords Summer/Winter sale!
Because it's summer up here and winter down under, you see. I'd imagine it made sense at the time. And let's face it: For most people, July is either too hot or too cold to go out anyway, so you might as well read a good book.
Since Coming Attractions is a romantic comedy set, yes, during summer, you can read it, then tell people you've experienced summer. You don't have to be specific. Oh, and it's Indiana summer, not Australia summer. If you live in southern Chile, you can read it to get your mind off winter.
Coming Attractions is the only one of our books that's Smashwords affiliated at the moment. I'm happy when someone buys a print copy, but in July you can get it on e-book for free, which is almost a dollar less than its normal 99 cent cost.
I do math. I do, too.
The catch: It's part of the Smashwords promotion, which means, let's face it, that you have to get it on Smashwords. But that can be on epub, mobi, and pdf formats, or as an original document. It should be readable to anyone with an e-reader, cell phone, or computer. (Due to recent air quality problems, Smashwords has canceled their smoke signal program.)
All the participating authors can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/pr...
starting July 1st. If you want to go directly to my account, it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi.... There you'll also find the two fiction anthologies I have stories in, also at the attractive cost of zero.
It's the ultimate beach read! Don't get water on it.
This is indie author territory, and indie authors could always use the help (and reviews!) So please, check it out and share the promo with your friends and family, and anyone looking for their next favorite book.
Happy reading!
As usual, all our books can be found at:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time you get a free book, a cash register doesn't ring. But you still get a free book.
Because it's summer up here and winter down under, you see. I'd imagine it made sense at the time. And let's face it: For most people, July is either too hot or too cold to go out anyway, so you might as well read a good book.
Since Coming Attractions is a romantic comedy set, yes, during summer, you can read it, then tell people you've experienced summer. You don't have to be specific. Oh, and it's Indiana summer, not Australia summer. If you live in southern Chile, you can read it to get your mind off winter.
Coming Attractions is the only one of our books that's Smashwords affiliated at the moment. I'm happy when someone buys a print copy, but in July you can get it on e-book for free, which is almost a dollar less than its normal 99 cent cost.
I do math. I do, too.
The catch: It's part of the Smashwords promotion, which means, let's face it, that you have to get it on Smashwords. But that can be on epub, mobi, and pdf formats, or as an original document. It should be readable to anyone with an e-reader, cell phone, or computer. (Due to recent air quality problems, Smashwords has canceled their smoke signal program.)
All the participating authors can be found here: https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/pr...
starting July 1st. If you want to go directly to my account, it's at https://www.smashwords.com/profile/vi.... There you'll also find the two fiction anthologies I have stories in, also at the attractive cost of zero.
It's the ultimate beach read! Don't get water on it.
This is indie author territory, and indie authors could always use the help (and reviews!) So please, check it out and share the promo with your friends and family, and anyone looking for their next favorite book.
Happy reading!
As usual, all our books can be found at:
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time you get a free book, a cash register doesn't ring. But you still get a free book.
June 13, 2024
Haunted by a Haunted Book Project
Well, I finally finished the first draft of Haunted Noble County, Indiana, which is all well and good, but would be better if the whole thing was done.
Especially after a year. A whole year.
I love researching, and I love history. I'm not a big fan of doing interviews, being what they used to call shy, and then antisocial, and now call introverted. (I'm sure there are differences between the three, but I don't like asking people.) Still, the interviewing hasn't taken as long as I thought, and the researching has taken way longer, so I can't complain.
What I can complain about are the numerous delays in the project that had nothing to do with the project. Don't get me started on Covid.
Anyway, my goal was to be finished by April, and it's now June. I still haven't added photos, or even captioned the photos. I don't have the project finished enough for Emily to go through and show me all the mistakes I've made. I haven't heard back from some of the people I reached out to, which is understandable because they probably haven't heard back from me since August of last year.
As a result, sadly, once again, I have no one to blame but myself. And Covid. Hey, the Chinese planned this whole pandemic to delay my writing career!
No? No, I guess not.
This is the part where I apologize to everyone--and yes, I mean you--who I may have forgotten to get back in touch with in the past year. If anyone reads this who had a story, photograph or other information for me and may have gotten lost along the way, please contact me here, or on the book of faces, or wherever discerning patrons of history may haunt. Yes, I am trying to wrap it up, but there's still time to throw in more information.
On a related note, for anyone I have talked to, please let me know if it's okay to use your name in the book (if you haven't already said). If I made contact with someone but didn't get consent to use their name, they'll go down in Noble County history as "anonymous". After that, if you sign anything you have to remember how to spell anonymous, and no one wants that.
Finally, yes, the project has been pushed back, almost certainly until next year. The traditional publishing industry is a lot of things, some good and some bad, but above all else the wheels grind slowly.
• Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
• Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
• Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
• Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
• Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
• Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
• Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Ghost are always looking for new books to read over your shoulder.
Especially after a year. A whole year.
I love researching, and I love history. I'm not a big fan of doing interviews, being what they used to call shy, and then antisocial, and now call introverted. (I'm sure there are differences between the three, but I don't like asking people.) Still, the interviewing hasn't taken as long as I thought, and the researching has taken way longer, so I can't complain.
What I can complain about are the numerous delays in the project that had nothing to do with the project. Don't get me started on Covid.
Anyway, my goal was to be finished by April, and it's now June. I still haven't added photos, or even captioned the photos. I don't have the project finished enough for Emily to go through and show me all the mistakes I've made. I haven't heard back from some of the people I reached out to, which is understandable because they probably haven't heard back from me since August of last year.
As a result, sadly, once again, I have no one to blame but myself. And Covid. Hey, the Chinese planned this whole pandemic to delay my writing career!
No? No, I guess not.
This is the part where I apologize to everyone--and yes, I mean you--who I may have forgotten to get back in touch with in the past year. If anyone reads this who had a story, photograph or other information for me and may have gotten lost along the way, please contact me here, or on the book of faces, or wherever discerning patrons of history may haunt. Yes, I am trying to wrap it up, but there's still time to throw in more information.
On a related note, for anyone I have talked to, please let me know if it's okay to use your name in the book (if you haven't already said). If I made contact with someone but didn't get consent to use their name, they'll go down in Noble County history as "anonymous". After that, if you sign anything you have to remember how to spell anonymous, and no one wants that.
Finally, yes, the project has been pushed back, almost certainly until next year. The traditional publishing industry is a lot of things, some good and some bad, but above all else the wheels grind slowly.
• Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
• Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
• Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
• Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
• Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
• Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
• Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Ghost are always looking for new books to read over your shoulder.
May 30, 2024
The Threat Of Paid Book Reviews
Book reviews are incredibly important to authors. They give a sense of legitimacy, serve as free advertising, guide other readers to their works, and give them a better chance to have their story visible on certain book seller sites. Storm Chaser, for instance, had 28 ratings and 15 written reviews on Goodreads.
But since being re-released, Storm Chaser is down to only 7 ratings and 3 written reviews on Amazon, which is why I begged people who previously reviewed it to post their reviews again. From what I've heard, about 50 reviews are needed to trigger Amazon's mystical logarithms and increase traffic to your book.
(Plus it just got its first bad review, which dropped the average rating considerably.)
It's hardly surprising, then, that some people resort to paying for reviews. If everyone who read a book would review it--even just pop in with an "I liked it"--it would be no problem, but most readers don't take the time. It's easy, on the other hand, to find people willing to review your book in exchange for money.
Unethical, maybe illegal in some cases, but easy.
Not only is it considered a form of cheating, but it would violate the terms of service for the big book seller site, Amazon. You do not want to be kicked off Amazon.
Some people even consider it in poor form to ask for free reviews, but most authors do it. They're not thrilled about it, any more than they're thrilled about doing promotion and publicity, but with over two million new books coming out every year, it's hard to avoid getting desperate.
When a group of people get desperate ... the scammers come out.
Awhile back I got this e-mail from "German W. Woo":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Freebie seekers can kiss my a** and lick it wet before I consider offering them a free review. In short, if you don't have money to spend, don't contact me and waste my time; rather, keep begging and struggling for reviews on Goodreads and Facebook as usual!
Goodness. Someone took their nasty pills. A day later I got this e-mail, from "Allison S. Cummins":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Friendly note to: Review beggars - Either have some respect for yourself and your book and learn to value and PAY for the time of reviewers as well, or please take a walk. We haven't opened a charity foundation here; this is a FOR-PROFIT business! I am sure you don't work for free in your professional life, so don't expect anyone else to work for free for you either!
Wait ... what's wrong with this picture? Let's take a look at another e-mail, from "Marion J. Jenkins":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me. Don't want these emails? Then FU*K OFF from Goodreads and Facebook.
Not exactly friendly customer service. But wait ... each of them are the only people offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon? I thought anyone could post an Amazon review. Now here are three only ones. Shouldn't there only be one ... only one?
Also, aren't they being just a bit rude, for someone supposedly offering a service? They're not the government. Are they?
Well, scammers gotta scam, a**holes gotta ... um ... a**. It didn't concern me all that much until I got this message on my Goodreads account:
Mark, SWINE HOPE YOUR FAMILY DIES THIS NEW YEAR AND SALES OF YOUR PATHETIC BOOK BECOMES ZERO. BUY BOOK REVIEWS OR GET OUT OF GOODREADS ASAP. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL TELL ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO BUY AND REFUND YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON SO YOUR SALES RANK TANKS. YOU CAN'T PROMOTE YOUR BOOKS HERE WITHOUT PAYING ME. WE KNOW YOUR ADDRESS TOO -WILL SEND CRIMINALS AND THIEVES THERE SO YOUR NEW YEAR CELEBRATION IS SPOILED HAHA
That was from Grace, who yelled the same message 39 times. I doubt very much that she has friends. Also, aren't thieves automatically criminals, except in Congress? Ironically, scammers don't seem to edit their threats. They also didn't count the number of guns (not to mention swords) in my house.
Wendall sent this one five times:
WE HAVE A COPY OF Hoosier Hysterical, WHICH WE WILL UPLOAD TO TPB, readfrom.net AND OTHER PIRATE SITES, IF YOU KEEP ON SPAMMING OUR GOODREADS SITE. ONLY WAY TO STOP US IS TO STOP ASKING FOR BOOK REVIEWS HERE PERMANENTLY. QUIT SPAMMING THIS SITE IF WE DON'T WANT US TO TAKE AFORESAID ACTIONS; YOUR LAWS CAN'T HARM US. DECIDE FAST
My first reaction was, "Yay, they bought a copy of Hoosier Hysterical!" My second was to laugh at someone who sent the same five messages, accusing me of spamming them.
So I decided fast, and my decision was f**k you.
I will not pay anyone for book reviews, let alone scumbag spammers like this. The closest I'll ever come to it is giving out advanced review copies, which is an accepted practice--but no money will go from me toward a review. Especially to an idiot.
If you support my decision ... then please. leave a book review.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: To an author, every book review is like Heavenly music sprinkled with chocolate.
But since being re-released, Storm Chaser is down to only 7 ratings and 3 written reviews on Amazon, which is why I begged people who previously reviewed it to post their reviews again. From what I've heard, about 50 reviews are needed to trigger Amazon's mystical logarithms and increase traffic to your book.
(Plus it just got its first bad review, which dropped the average rating considerably.)
It's hardly surprising, then, that some people resort to paying for reviews. If everyone who read a book would review it--even just pop in with an "I liked it"--it would be no problem, but most readers don't take the time. It's easy, on the other hand, to find people willing to review your book in exchange for money.
Unethical, maybe illegal in some cases, but easy.
Not only is it considered a form of cheating, but it would violate the terms of service for the big book seller site, Amazon. You do not want to be kicked off Amazon.
Some people even consider it in poor form to ask for free reviews, but most authors do it. They're not thrilled about it, any more than they're thrilled about doing promotion and publicity, but with over two million new books coming out every year, it's hard to avoid getting desperate.
When a group of people get desperate ... the scammers come out.
Awhile back I got this e-mail from "German W. Woo":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Freebie seekers can kiss my a** and lick it wet before I consider offering them a free review. In short, if you don't have money to spend, don't contact me and waste my time; rather, keep begging and struggling for reviews on Goodreads and Facebook as usual!
Goodness. Someone took their nasty pills. A day later I got this e-mail, from "Allison S. Cummins":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me.
Friendly note to: Review beggars - Either have some respect for yourself and your book and learn to value and PAY for the time of reviewers as well, or please take a walk. We haven't opened a charity foundation here; this is a FOR-PROFIT business! I am sure you don't work for free in your professional life, so don't expect anyone else to work for free for you either!
Wait ... what's wrong with this picture? Let's take a look at another e-mail, from "Marion J. Jenkins":
As of this writing, I am the only person offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon. If you are looking for more reviews for your book, please don't hesitate to contact me. Don't want these emails? Then FU*K OFF from Goodreads and Facebook.
Not exactly friendly customer service. But wait ... each of them are the only people offering GUARANTEED reviews for Amazon? I thought anyone could post an Amazon review. Now here are three only ones. Shouldn't there only be one ... only one?
Also, aren't they being just a bit rude, for someone supposedly offering a service? They're not the government. Are they?
Well, scammers gotta scam, a**holes gotta ... um ... a**. It didn't concern me all that much until I got this message on my Goodreads account:
Mark, SWINE HOPE YOUR FAMILY DIES THIS NEW YEAR AND SALES OF YOUR PATHETIC BOOK BECOMES ZERO. BUY BOOK REVIEWS OR GET OUT OF GOODREADS ASAP. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL TELL ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO BUY AND REFUND YOUR BOOK ON AMAZON SO YOUR SALES RANK TANKS. YOU CAN'T PROMOTE YOUR BOOKS HERE WITHOUT PAYING ME. WE KNOW YOUR ADDRESS TOO -WILL SEND CRIMINALS AND THIEVES THERE SO YOUR NEW YEAR CELEBRATION IS SPOILED HAHA
That was from Grace, who yelled the same message 39 times. I doubt very much that she has friends. Also, aren't thieves automatically criminals, except in Congress? Ironically, scammers don't seem to edit their threats. They also didn't count the number of guns (not to mention swords) in my house.
Wendall sent this one five times:
WE HAVE A COPY OF Hoosier Hysterical, WHICH WE WILL UPLOAD TO TPB, readfrom.net AND OTHER PIRATE SITES, IF YOU KEEP ON SPAMMING OUR GOODREADS SITE. ONLY WAY TO STOP US IS TO STOP ASKING FOR BOOK REVIEWS HERE PERMANENTLY. QUIT SPAMMING THIS SITE IF WE DON'T WANT US TO TAKE AFORESAID ACTIONS; YOUR LAWS CAN'T HARM US. DECIDE FAST
My first reaction was, "Yay, they bought a copy of Hoosier Hysterical!" My second was to laugh at someone who sent the same five messages, accusing me of spamming them.
So I decided fast, and my decision was f**k you.
I will not pay anyone for book reviews, let alone scumbag spammers like this. The closest I'll ever come to it is giving out advanced review copies, which is an accepted practice--but no money will go from me toward a review. Especially to an idiot.
If you support my decision ... then please. leave a book review.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: To an author, every book review is like Heavenly music sprinkled with chocolate.
May 25, 2024
Fish and Tenderloin and Firefighters
If it seems like I'm just copying and pasting last year's blog about the AFD fish fry, it's because a book deadline has me in its clutches, and I am. The info is updated, though.
If you should be near Albion during the Chain O’ Lakes Festival, don’t forget to drop in on the fish and tenderloin fry at the fire station Wednesday, June 5th. This has been an annual tradition for many decades, with proceeds going to equipment and training for the Albion Fire Department. (Indiana, for those of you near other Albions.)
It’s from 4:30-7:00 p.m., with a price of $14 for adults and $10 for children 8 and under, and it’s darned good food for a good cause. I should know, having eaten it almost every year for ... a long time. The AFD is at 210 Fire Station Drive, on the east end of town. (It's traditional, when a town has a Fire Station Drive, to build the fire station there.)
Donations to the department get us all sorts of stuff, much of which helps keep us alive.
Meanwhile, don't forget to pick up a copy of Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights, the Albion Fire Department's history book, which goes for just $9.95. Come on, you know you want to donate that extra nickle. It took me 25 years to write!
Okay, so I wasn't writing the entire 25 years.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time you buy a history book, a dusty old professor gets his wings.
If you should be near Albion during the Chain O’ Lakes Festival, don’t forget to drop in on the fish and tenderloin fry at the fire station Wednesday, June 5th. This has been an annual tradition for many decades, with proceeds going to equipment and training for the Albion Fire Department. (Indiana, for those of you near other Albions.)
It’s from 4:30-7:00 p.m., with a price of $14 for adults and $10 for children 8 and under, and it’s darned good food for a good cause. I should know, having eaten it almost every year for ... a long time. The AFD is at 210 Fire Station Drive, on the east end of town. (It's traditional, when a town has a Fire Station Drive, to build the fire station there.)
Donations to the department get us all sorts of stuff, much of which helps keep us alive.
Meanwhile, don't forget to pick up a copy of Smoky Days and Sleepless Nights, the Albion Fire Department's history book, which goes for just $9.95. Come on, you know you want to donate that extra nickle. It took me 25 years to write!
Okay, so I wasn't writing the entire 25 years.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every time you buy a history book, a dusty old professor gets his wings.
May 10, 2024
This Project Seems Haunted
I want to apologize again for how slow I've been with the Haunted Noble County, Indiana project. I've collected most of the photos and written half the manuscript, but haven't been getting back to people about their individual tales as I should.
It's the same old story, to an extent: injuries, sickness, death, Covid, chores I couldn't put off. Basically everything except writer's block, and at least that hasn't been a problem. In addition, I hadn't anticipated how much time all the research would take. I've done this before, with Images of America: Albion and Noble County. But while history research gets time consuming, extra digging is required when it comes to the supernatural.
Not literally. Well, not usually.
There's also the fact that I'm an introvert, or suffer from social anxiety, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Among other things, I hate talking on the phone. Do you know what I do for a living?
Yeah, I talk on the phone and radio for 12 hours a day. For thirty years.
I know what you're thinking: Why does someone who hates talking do it for a living?
It's because I used to work in factories, and also in the service industry. That's why.
I get off my night shift not only tired, but seriously stressed (which is not uncommon for dispatchers, overall). The last thing I want to do is talk on the phone, or be otherwise social. Between that and my weird schedule, I have real difficulty picking up the phone.
That's the long winded reason why I'm so far behind in calling people about this project. It's also why I much prefer talking about it by e-mail or messenger, and have difficulty finding a time to talk when either I or the other person isn't asleep.
So ... I'm sorry. My deadline is looming, so I'm back on the horse and working, and I will call the people I promised to. I hope the rest of you will contact me online, especially if I forgot about you, which after so many months is possible. I want to make this as good a book as I can, but man--it's been a slog. And that's not the fault of the material!
It's possible I won't have time to track down all the details, or include all the stories, especially if the details are nebulous. But I'll do my best.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Keep plenty of books around for ghosts to throw off the shelves.
It's the same old story, to an extent: injuries, sickness, death, Covid, chores I couldn't put off. Basically everything except writer's block, and at least that hasn't been a problem. In addition, I hadn't anticipated how much time all the research would take. I've done this before, with Images of America: Albion and Noble County. But while history research gets time consuming, extra digging is required when it comes to the supernatural.
Not literally. Well, not usually.
There's also the fact that I'm an introvert, or suffer from social anxiety, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Among other things, I hate talking on the phone. Do you know what I do for a living?
Yeah, I talk on the phone and radio for 12 hours a day. For thirty years.
I know what you're thinking: Why does someone who hates talking do it for a living?
It's because I used to work in factories, and also in the service industry. That's why.
I get off my night shift not only tired, but seriously stressed (which is not uncommon for dispatchers, overall). The last thing I want to do is talk on the phone, or be otherwise social. Between that and my weird schedule, I have real difficulty picking up the phone.
That's the long winded reason why I'm so far behind in calling people about this project. It's also why I much prefer talking about it by e-mail or messenger, and have difficulty finding a time to talk when either I or the other person isn't asleep.
So ... I'm sorry. My deadline is looming, so I'm back on the horse and working, and I will call the people I promised to. I hope the rest of you will contact me online, especially if I forgot about you, which after so many months is possible. I want to make this as good a book as I can, but man--it's been a slog. And that's not the fault of the material!
It's possible I won't have time to track down all the details, or include all the stories, especially if the details are nebulous. But I'll do my best.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Keep plenty of books around for ghosts to throw off the shelves.
May 2, 2024
A Look Back, Or: I was always Allergic To Everything
Just for fun, I looked up the blog about my original allergy testing, to see how it compared to this time. I'm reprinting part of it here, partially because I needed to be working on the Haunted Noble County, Indiana manuscript instead of writing blogs.
But also because I went through that first testing in early 2013, well over ten years ago. What has changed since then? Basically nothing:
The allergy tester looked away (after injecting numerous allergens under my skin), and when she looked back my forearm had swelled so much I resembled Popeye right after taking the spinach.
To her credit, her eyes bulged out only for a moment. Then she calmly opened the door and called to the medical staff:
“Red alert! I need 50 cc’s of all our antihistamines, a gallon of decongestant, hydrocodone, ice, oxygen, codeine, epi-pens, and an extra copy of that release form he signed, in triplicate. Also, cancel lunch.”
From the next room I heard a puzzled voice: “Just how many patients do you have in there?”
Then the tester lady put twice as many pokes into my other forearm.
A little card, with round holes in it of different sizes, measured my reaction. After a few tries she tilted her head and said, “I think we’re going to need a bigger card.”
Then she started poking single needles into my shoulder, one by one. Those reactions, by the way, held on for over a week.
“What’s the verdict?” my wife asked, while I huddled, slobbering and shaking, in a fetal position on the floor.
The tester shook her head. “Do you have any plastic bubbles?”
“Um, we have bubble wrap.”
“I’m not sure you can sterilize bubble wrap.”
It turns out I’m what they call severely allergic, which is a medical term meaning … well, I guess it’s pretty straightforward. I’m seriously allergic to … let me take a breath:
Dogs, cats, indoor mold, outdoor mold, dust, grasses, ragweed, pollen, politicians, insects, dust mites, urushiol, fungus, feathers, and cottonwood.
Here’s a fun irony: Standing by the entrance to the allergy doctor’s office are two big cottonwood trees.
Oh, Urushiol? Poison ivy. I already knew about, through sad experience.
The tester explained that, while medications might mask some symptoms, my body was still fighting the allergens every moment, every day. Imagine, she said, being in a boxing match in which you’re hitting at an opponent constantly, without a break, for years. How would that make you feel?
That explained a lot. Not just the typical allergy symptoms, but sleep problems, depression, headaches, irritability, itchiness. I'd been sick my entire life, constantly, and because I had no period of wellness to compare it to I thought it was normal.
When we met with the ENT doc again, I asked what treatment we could try. Anything, I said – anything to give me a chance to feel awake and alive for the first time in my life.
“Since you have so many allergies, we can’t fit all the treatment into one dose. So, you’ll have to have two allergy shots, one in each arm every week, for the rest of your life … or at least, it will seem like the rest of your life.”
I nodded, and pretended to consider it. Then I said, “On the other hand, I don’t know what I’m missing, so it’s not really that bad, is it?”
But my wife encouraged me to try the shots, anyway.
By encourage, I mean “made me”.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every several dozen books we sell pays for an allergy shot. Save the Kleenex.
But also because I went through that first testing in early 2013, well over ten years ago. What has changed since then? Basically nothing:
The allergy tester looked away (after injecting numerous allergens under my skin), and when she looked back my forearm had swelled so much I resembled Popeye right after taking the spinach.
To her credit, her eyes bulged out only for a moment. Then she calmly opened the door and called to the medical staff:
“Red alert! I need 50 cc’s of all our antihistamines, a gallon of decongestant, hydrocodone, ice, oxygen, codeine, epi-pens, and an extra copy of that release form he signed, in triplicate. Also, cancel lunch.”
From the next room I heard a puzzled voice: “Just how many patients do you have in there?”
Then the tester lady put twice as many pokes into my other forearm.
A little card, with round holes in it of different sizes, measured my reaction. After a few tries she tilted her head and said, “I think we’re going to need a bigger card.”
Then she started poking single needles into my shoulder, one by one. Those reactions, by the way, held on for over a week.
“What’s the verdict?” my wife asked, while I huddled, slobbering and shaking, in a fetal position on the floor.
The tester shook her head. “Do you have any plastic bubbles?”
“Um, we have bubble wrap.”
“I’m not sure you can sterilize bubble wrap.”
It turns out I’m what they call severely allergic, which is a medical term meaning … well, I guess it’s pretty straightforward. I’m seriously allergic to … let me take a breath:
Dogs, cats, indoor mold, outdoor mold, dust, grasses, ragweed, pollen, politicians, insects, dust mites, urushiol, fungus, feathers, and cottonwood.
Here’s a fun irony: Standing by the entrance to the allergy doctor’s office are two big cottonwood trees.
Oh, Urushiol? Poison ivy. I already knew about, through sad experience.
The tester explained that, while medications might mask some symptoms, my body was still fighting the allergens every moment, every day. Imagine, she said, being in a boxing match in which you’re hitting at an opponent constantly, without a break, for years. How would that make you feel?
That explained a lot. Not just the typical allergy symptoms, but sleep problems, depression, headaches, irritability, itchiness. I'd been sick my entire life, constantly, and because I had no period of wellness to compare it to I thought it was normal.
When we met with the ENT doc again, I asked what treatment we could try. Anything, I said – anything to give me a chance to feel awake and alive for the first time in my life.
“Since you have so many allergies, we can’t fit all the treatment into one dose. So, you’ll have to have two allergy shots, one in each arm every week, for the rest of your life … or at least, it will seem like the rest of your life.”
I nodded, and pretended to consider it. Then I said, “On the other hand, I don’t know what I’m missing, so it’s not really that bad, is it?”
But my wife encouraged me to try the shots, anyway.
By encourage, I mean “made me”.
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO
Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/&quo... R Hunter"
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show...
Blog: https://markrhunter.blogspot.com/
Website: http://www.markrhunter.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ozma914/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MarkRHunter914
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markrhunter/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/MarkRHunter
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@MarkRHunter
Substack: https://substack.com/@markrhunter
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/ozma914
Remember: Every several dozen books we sell pays for an allergy shot. Save the Kleenex.
