Gretchen C. Hohmeyer's Blog, page 101

Tears That Burn

Tears That Burn

My    tears   slide

down   my    skin

like     paths     of

lava  threatening

to burn away the

last of  my  mask

but I think  them

not    enough    to

touch   the    hard

ice  of  your heart

Contradictions

Contradictions

I'm afraid of being right

I'm afraid of being wrong

I'm afraid of being quiet

I'm afraid of being loud

I'm afraid of blending in

I'm afraid of sticking out

I'm afraid of speaking my mind

I'm afraid of never being heard

I'm afraid of taking risks

I'm afraid of having regrets

I'm afraid of following my heart

I'm afraid of losing its beat

I'm afraid of finding love

I'm afraid of losing it

I'm afraid of my dreams

I'm afraid of never achieving them

I'm afraid of not being me

I'm afraid I'm a contradiction

When You're Not Looking

When You're Not Looking

Love, they say, is an elusive thing

That you can catch

Out of the corner of your eye

But disappears when you turn

But I went after it anyways

Wearing the camouflage

All the other girls wore

Emulating their tactics

Blending in with the group

Days passed

Months perhaps

And I found no glimpse of success

So the other girls

Thickened their paint

And stomped through the underbrush

Hoping to be obvious

To be caught

But me?

I washed of my pretend skin

I turned my back

Later I would say

It was because I learned to love myself

But that was a lie

I wasn't being strong

I didn't love being unique

I only laughed so loud

Because I thought no one cared

And then one day

I turned around and gasped

For it's funny what you find when you're not looking

Moments

Moments

In the moment

Words fade

To useless nothings

That have no hope to express

What I feel

In the moment

I faltered

I fell back

I stalled

For my thoughts had abandoned me

In the moment

I had no idea what to say

Or what I wanted

How I felt

Or where it would lead

In a moment

You were gone

In a moment

I knew

Choose to Lose

Choose to Lose

Teetering on a knife's edge

Threatening to fall

Words are all we need

To send us sprawling

To either side

What will you say?

My words hide behind a lock of fear;

Fear of heights and fear of tumbling

Fear of choosing

Fear of losing

We're here now

There's no going back

Someone has to speak

I'm frightened it will come to me

But God forbid its left for me to seal it

We've gone too far

The choice is the only way

But I'm afraid

For I see loss on either side

So what do we choose to lose?

Words

Words are slippery things

That come to my lips

And disappear when I grasp for them

Leaving me with thoughts

That cannot be spoken

Make It Stop

Make It Stop

I'm so tired

Of burning eyes that hold back tears

Of shaking hands that turn to ice

Of hurting hearts that pound my chest

I'm so tired

Of hearing screaming

Of taking blows

Of holding people as they cry

I'm so tired

Of trying to keep the world together as it falls apart

Of not knowing why it is

Of holding on to something that is already gone

I'm so tired

Of hurt

Of pain

Of tears

Just

Make

It

Stop

Black on White–A Magazine and a Forum in One

Hello blogosphere, oh how I have missed you.

I have been so absent because my grandmother passed away. Though she was failing, it came as a shock and I've spent most of my time with family. However, I am now back to tell you about an exciting new development by a friend of mine that I wanted to share!

My friend–who shall remain anonymous because she wants to be–has set up an online magazine for all writers who want to showcase their work, called Black on White. But it is NOT just a magazine. It is also a forum, as seen at www.blackonwhitemag.wordpress.com. After each issue is published online, each piece of work goes onto this forum where other readers and writers can comment on the pieces. Consider it an opportunity to get some feedback on work AND get it published at the same time. You're welcome.

How do you write to concen– Oh look, sparkly!

Lately, all I've wanted to do is write. I've been coming up with new ideas for my current work in progress and having a blast. But when I sit down at my computer, I can't CONCENTRATE. Yes, I have ADD—but it's never been this bad. I have always assumed that it's easier to write on the computer. After all, everything I write has to get here sometime, right? But it turns out that this isn't for me.

When I write, I need to write. Trying to type on my computer is too distracting. I never actually write. I go to Twitter, I go to Facebook, I go to Inkpop—anything and everything. No matter how badly I want to write, I can't get anything done. (How I'm writing this blog post is beyond me.) However, when I write by hand into a notebook, I can write for hours. I don't care that writing by hand gives me blisters or makes my back and shoulders hurt—I'm WRITING. This way, when it comes time to put it into the computer, I don't actually have to think. Typically, I type it in while watching some of my TV addictions online. Today, for instance, I typed up two chapters while catching up on Glee. Does it take more time? Yes. But I get more DONE.

Some of you, I know, wouldn't agree. You can actually type on a computer and get more done. I'm very jealous, just so you know. It would be more time-effective. What I want to know is, is there anyone who types an even more different way? Like, do you use speech recognition software? Do you use a typewriter? Quill and ink? Something else? What do you do to get your imagination on the page?

Writing Resource List Up!

Hey everyone!

Just a quick note to let you all know that I have just put up a Writing Resource list. The shiny new addition to this blog is right up there on top and an easy click away. It's short right now, but I promise to update it as I go! If I learn about it, you'll learn about it! By the same token, this is a shout out for all you writers out there: If YOU find a cool site, let me know! I hardly think that I know everything there is to know, and I'm very excited to hear what you guys have found. If you think there is a site that should be added to the list, comment on the page with the link and why it's awesome! I'll link it in and give you credit for the find.

Thanks!