Cate Ellink's Blog, page 48

Phallic Friday - "sex slave"

I was going to steer away from this topic so I wouldn't have a rant, but I can't. I need to rant!

There's a huge lot of media coverage in Australia at the moment about Prince Andrew and a paedophile ring and a sex slave. I keep trying not to get riled up about it...but I'm failing!

The woman who claims she was a 'sex slave' is now a mother with children, living in Australia. She claims as a teen she was a 'sex slave' but she left, married her husband, moved to Australia, and got on with her life when she left.

In my imagination, a sex slave is someone who is poorly treated, has no option but to have sex, and rarely gets away from the lifestyle.I struggle to marry the term 'sex slave' with someone who jets around the world, stays in high class hotels, has sex with PMs, high ranking business men, and princes.

But maybe she wasn't paid. Maybe she was 'sold' into the business. But do you call yourself a 'sex slave' then?

Her age is also a problem for me. She was 17 when she claims she had sex with Prince Andrew. I'd be very hard pressed to be able to guess the age of a girl to the exact year. How would he know if she was 16 or 22? Girls can look any age, especially if they're dressed up. 17, illegal. 18, legal. Not a big difference there. And if you're a prince given a woman for the night, do you ask their age? If she's there and sex is on offer, I don't know that I'd be asking if she was sure she was 18 - and even if you did, I wonder what her answer would have been back then...would she have said anything to please the client?

So I'm struggling with the media attention on this story. I'm struggling with the terms used. I'm struggling to understand why it matters and why it should be brought up now and attract such outrage.

But maybe it's just me. Do you have views on the story? Or do you ignore stories like this?

Wildlife Wednesday - total mystery

Today I present a complete mystery to me!


This was on my wall the other night, inside the house (south coast NSW) and was about 10 mm long.

It reminded me of an earwig, but it doesn't have the pincers at the back.

One of the things I love about Wildlife Wednesday is that it makes me go and investigate the bugs and creatures that I see. If I didn't do this blog, I'd just forget I ever saw this creature.

So, I went to trusty old Google and on the CSIRO website, I found something interesting. You can go here if you're interested. But in summary,
a sentence in the entry says, "Earwigs are sometimes confused with Staphylinid beetles, but can be distinguished from the latter by the presence of pincer-like cerci, which Staphylinid beetles lack."

Before I got diverted, I found this interesting fact about earwigs - "Earwigs mate end to end, often grasping each other's pincers, Female earwigs are able to store sperm for several months before fertilisation. A female will lay hers eggs in a burrow she has excavated or in natural crevices in the soil, where she will stand guard protectively until the young hatch. The female guards the eggs from predators and constantly turns and cleans them, preventing fungus diseases. Upon hatching the young earwigs resemble small adults and remain under the protection of their mother for a short period of time. They must then disperse to new areas or risk being eaten by her."

While on the site I tried keying it out and got a Phasymid (stick and leaf insects, which I don't think is right. I liked earwig better)

So, off I went to Staphylinid beetles. They're also called Rove Beetles and this site has some US information. The trusty Australian Museum has a page but they're called Devil's Coach-horse Beetles (what a cool name). They say they have bright red heads, which mine doesn't. There's some information here about them being a terrestrial beetle that's found near water.

I wonder if it's an earwig who in an amorous moment lost his pincers?

Sunday Story - Sydney Housewives

The Housewives are still going. A new one every fortnight. Shona Husk's Meagan was the latest one...and it's Shona's first contemporary story, not that you'd be able to tell that. I love Shona's writing and Meagan is good fun - food (chocolate even) and sex!

I'm making a concerted effort this year not to read so much. I have a bad habit of taking my iPad to bed to read because then hubby isn't disturbed by my bedside light...but it's even more addictive reading on an e-reader! I think it's because my hand doesn't tire holding a heavy book :) Or maybe it's the lighting. Or the fact I'm not disturbing anyone. Anyway, there have been many many late nights and they need to stop.

Why? Because I need to write. I fear that I read more than I write and that isn't getting books written.

I have a few good ideas for stories too...but it's the case of having to finish the one I'm working on before these new bright shiny ideas get started. I've scribbled lots of notes and ideas, so hopefully when the old one is done, the new one is ready to pour from the fingers!

I really like the writing part - the re-writing and editing is just hard work for me. So I force myself to do that before I let myself write again. It's like rewarding myself with chocolate!!!

I set a Goodreads reading challenge for 120 books this year. If  you see me do too many more, will you yell at me? Thanks :)

I've been on a Lexxie Couper binge - have you read the housewife Jorja? She's a rugby league player's girlfriend! Then she has a whole heap of hot firemen and women that have sucked me in!

Have you read any good books lately?

Phallic Friday - falling in love

I read this article with some scepticism - you can find it here (it's safe to read). It's called "How to fall in love with anyone: ask 36 questions and stare into their eyes for 4 minutes."

Before I read the article I scoffed that it was possible! But after reading the article, I realised my scepticism came from the understanding/definition of "fall in love".

The 36 questions are in-depth, long, and would take an age to ask and answer properly. They would definitely create intimacy between the couple, because there's a deep sharing of personal feelings, views, hopes, dreams and values. At the end of that time, I think the intimacy would be incredible. You'd know the other person so well, maybe better than anyone you'd ever known before.

To know someone that well, and then to stare into their soul for four minutes, would create a bond. A deep bond. Tantric sex uses a similar bonding process of staring into your partner's gaze as an initiation of foreplay. It strengthens the union, and centres the two people to each other.

So I have no doubt this method creates an intimacy and depth of emotion not often experienced by people.

But is this love?

And then, what is love?

My concern for the 36 questions and 4 minutes method is that it's quick. I wonder if it is something that will bind you for a serious length of time? Will it hold you through the horrible times you might experience? Will it cement your relationship in a mutual respect and admiration?

But then, is that love?

Darn! I don't know. That's what I think of as love - but then I waver. Does love have to be enduring an eternal? Can love be respecting another, with no time frame given?

And this is why I love/hate blogging. It makes me think and question too much. I start out thinking something and by the time I've argued my point, often I've changed my own thoughts!

So...do you have thoughts on the article, or love?

Wildlife Wednesday - Golden Orb Weaving Spider

This morning in my yard was this beautiful spider - and a few of his friends.

I think they're the Golden Orb Weaving Spider, some Orb Spider anyway :)

The Australian Museum website tells me this:

The females are 2 - 4 cm long, the males 5 mm.

In the Golden Orb Weaving Spider group, it is common for a number of tiny (6 mm) males to live around the edges of a female's web, waiting for a mating opportunity. After mating, the female Golden Orb Weaving Spider wraps her single egg sac in a mass of golden silk, which is then hidden on foliage away from the web, disguised within a curled leaf or sprig of twigs

They make a web between tree branches where insects might fly, and feed off what they catch. Prey items include flies, beetles, locusts, wood moths and cicadas. Sometimes their strong webs manage to trap small birds or bats, and the spider will wrap them and feed upon them (my spiders have not caught anything that huge!)

Although, in the Homebush Bay mangroves when I was younger, there used to be hundreds of webs thick through the trees at some times of the year (before Easter is what I'm thinking) and I imagine these huge groups of spiders would have caught bigger prey. I was always worried they'd catch me!!

2015 - a new year

Happy New Year! I hope 2015 is a good one for everyone!
I thought I'd start by having a look back at last year's post and see how I went with my 2014 goals (if I had any - which surprisingly I did!). Here's the post, and these were my goals:

My 2014 plans:
Get Deep Diving publishedFinish Fellatio FailureFinish Fetish storyMaybe even start a new story...one is even bubbling away.
So... how did I go?
Deep Diving got publishedUmm... Fellatio Failure and Fetish are both still unfinishedI wrote Lana, after that project popped up unexpectedly (does that count for a new one?)I had another short story in a Rachel Kramer Bussel anthology. And I got sidetracked. I self published 30 November Kisses, and worked with the Naughty Ninjas. Surely they count :) I thought writing-wise, 2014 was a huge year for me. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even if all targets were not met!!

So... 2015 ... what are my goals?

I don't have anything finished, so I have to do that. But I'm not sure which story that's fluttering in my head. There's the 2 from last year, plus a series I'm thinking about which is 5 friends and it's knocking away at the moment, plus I joked about doing a rockstar BDSM story which is also brewing. So, maybe I should try to finish 2 stories this year. Whatever they may be!

I'd like to get a few self-pubbed things out too. Probably short stories or something. So that's on the cards too.

I'm going to try to write/edit 10K a month this year.

I'm going to try to build up my exercise too - aiming for 10 hours/month in January.

And I'm going to try to look after my health better. Each year I'm improving but there's room for more improvement. So that will also be a focus.

And I'm going to try to make some dough from this gig! I need to do that to keep the roof over my head - that's my half of the bargain and I'm struggling. One day I'd like writing to earn me what I used to earn, but for now, I'd like it to keep increasing, and it has been but with hobby figures (a couple of hundred dollars), and I'd like a career. [image error]

Let's see how 2015 fares! Best of luck to us all!

A lovely shock

I had a lovely shock today. The Australian Romance Readers Association (ARRA) Awards were announced and Deep Diving is a finalist for Favourite Erotic Romance. You can find the list of finalists here - there are lots :)
The ARRA Awards are voted for by readers, so it's a thrill to know that readers liked your story. There's not a lot of point to writing stories if no one reads or enjoys them, so to know people have is wonderful.

If you voted - a HUGE THANK YOU!!! And if you've read Deep Diving, big thanks to you too!

And I got a nice picture to add to my blog :)

Sunday Story

Well, it's almost Christmas and I'm going to have a little blogging break...but I'll be back in 2015!!!
Thanks for visiting with me this past year. I've enjoyed your company :)
I hope you and yours have a very Merry Christmas, and I hope 2015 is filled with wonderful things.

Phallic Friday - the next housewife is out!

The next Housewife is out and she's Sienna.

I haven't read Sienna, so I'm looking forward to it.

Here's the blurb:

Sienna knows that she’s got a good thing going with her boyfriend, Charlie. He’s attentive, loyal, and seriously hot. When he sets Sienna up with a very unusual gift, she’s both shocked and intrigued. But she’s worried as well – accepting Charlie and his gift will test all of their limits and the strength of their relationship

Don't forget to try the quiz and find out which sexy housewife you are: http://escapepublishing.com.au/housewivesquiz

Wildlife Wednesday - Swamphen

Swamphens are waterbirds. They're rather distinctive with their purpley-black coloured feathers and their bright red beak.

They live in and around freshwater swamps, streams and marshes. This one was at the Dubbo Zoo.

You can find out more here at Birds in Backyards.

But their breeding I'll paste here, taken from the Birds in Backyards website, because it's interesting:

Purple Swamphens are generally found in small groups and studies have shown that these consist of more males than females.

More than one male will mate with a single female.

All family members, and occasionally the young from a previous brood, share in incubation and care of the young.

The nest consists of a platform of trampled reeds with the surrounding vegetation sometimes being used to form a shelter. Often two broods will be raised in a year.