Cate Ellink's Blog, page 51

Sunday Story - waiting, waiting, waiting

I'm a naturally impatient person. I like to get in, get something done, do something else. This is a crazy industry to get into with that attitude!! Although, science wasn't a lot better. You're always waiting around for results, or you get results and have to do more because it's brought up more questions than answers.

Anyway...I'm waiting at the moment. I'm also writing in a different genre to this one, and I have a book I've been working on for 5 years. So you can imagine I'm kind of over that book by now, with my impatient attitude, can't you? But it's loved by my mates who've read it and they've kept me at it for those 5 years. Without them it would have been boxed up about 4 years ago!

This book is the book I wrote when we first moved to the coast. It's got a lot of my lost, loneliness in it. It's got the things I missed. It's my tribute to where we used to be. My love for that place and those people. It's also got some of my work in it - work that I feel I was torn away from, work that I feel has never had the credit it deserves, work that so many people contributed to, that was so important (in my opinion anyway) but was hidden in animosity because it didn't give the results it was 'meant' to. It's got themes I feel very strongly about - like loss, grief, individualism, city vs country, ground truthing 'facts' and theories, family. I guess it's the book of my heart.

Because I feel so strongly about it, I long ago gave up believing in it - because I'm biased, so incredibly biased. Which is why it would be in a box if it was up to me. But now I've gone beyond that...and I'm at a stage where this book could go places...and OMG I want that so badly. I want it more than I can explain. I want it so my heart burns...but I have no control now. It's in the lap of the gods...or the editors. And that's hard to let go.

So I'm faffing around when I know I need to be busy. I'm doing all manner of things, instead of keeping on writing. I'm letting my desires get in the way of business. I'm letting my burning hope stop me going forwards. Cate Ellink is suffering because of my craziness. And I can't let that happen. I love Cate Ellink and her stories too.

So... I need a reboot.


Today I'm off to watch some Australian Rugby League...and you know what that means (or rather who that means!). I'm off to drool, salivate, lust. I've a new story formulating in my mind and I'm going to watch footy and let Cate Ellink take over...with a lot of help from my #7 inspiration.

I can't wait!!!

Phallic Friday - Virginia

Virginia, the first of the Sydney Housewives stories, came out yesterday. Did you get your copy?

If not, you can find where to buy it here.

Rhian Cahill is the author of the first episode of the Secret Confessions: Sydney Housewives series.

She was one of the organisers of the first conference I attended in RWA - the Claytons conference in 2008. She hadn't yet been published but she was close. I've thoroughly enjoyed watching her career take off. She's exceedingly generous and I've learned a lot from her.


Rhian mostly writes gritty, contemporary erotic romances. I think Virginia is a great start to this series.

Have you read Virginia? What did you think?

You can also join in the Housewives Lounge on FaceBook - https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheHousewivesLounge/And don't forget to take the Housewives Quiz to see which housewife you are - http://escapepublishing.com.au/housewivesquiz

Wildlife Wednesday - a new horse

Yesterday was Melbourne Cup day (hope you backed a winner!), so in keeping with the horse racing theme, let me introduce the newest addition to the family.

Dad and I lease half the tail of this country racehorse. So far she hasn't done too much, and had no huge runs. She's young and learning.

The last half a tail, was retired to the paddock as a cranky horse that couldn't learn. She was sent from friends to the trainer because they hoped he'd have better luck with her. He did - only one person came off her and they weren't injured! Not a great thing. The trainer called her 'that black mare.' Since she wasn't winning, even with the attitude, she wasn't worth keeping in work. My friend has huge paddocks full of failed race horses, so she went out there to graze her days away, in a herd of horses. Not a bad life. I bet she ends up the boss!

So, enter the new trial horse. I'll let you know if she does great things!

We saw her run in a trial at Parkes. She did okay. Then she had a run in Wellington and did okay. A run at Narromine had her jostled in a pack, so she stopped and backed right out of the race. It was the first time she'd been caught in a pack, and had a different jockey aboard, so hopefully she'll learn from that. A run in Dubbo had hopes but was a bit longer and she didn't make the distance. I think she'll probably go for a holiday and come back better. Fingers crossed!

Dad was with me at Parkes and he got to meet my friend who owns the horse, and the trainer, and jockey. I think he was really chuffed. It's such fun to do something crazy like this with Dad. He's always dreamed of owning a racehorse and passed that dream on to me. So we're ticking off a dream, together, and it's a lot of fun!

NOTE: Two horses had horrible ends to their big race yesterday - Admire Rakti collapsed after the race and died, while Araldo was spooked, jumped a fence and broke a leg and when I'm writing this, is in surgery.

I hate that this happens. I hate horses dying. But having lost a pleasure horse in a freak accident, I know that accidents happen and sometimes they kill horses. Sometimes horses die for no reason too. Horses, especially thoroughbreds, are flighty animals who run to get away from things that scare them - it's how they're bred. I've watched cattle walk through fences and come out unscathed, while a horse will do the same and end up a mess.

I'm always torn with racing. I love the excitement but I loathe the injuries and death.

Sunday Story - first vs third person

A weird thing happened that I must document. I've been writing a story for my 7 year old nephew - it's not erotic ;) It has dragons and dinosaurs and sword fights and a talking dog or two!

When I started this story, I began writing it in third person past tense. This isn't how I normally write but off i went, quite happily in this manner. For the first 2 chapters, all went well. This is about 4K. The boy and his talking dog, talked, roamed the forest, were chased by a dinosaur, then had to fight the dinosaur to get away. All happy.

Then I started Chapter 3. I decided we should have a quest and rather than remove my nephew's beloved dog, I introduced another boy and his dog. I thought a dragon could sweep down and catch the other boy's dog in its claws and then the two boys and one dog would have to go to save the dog. All good...

Until the new boy and my nephew began to chat. Suddenly, I switched to first person, present tense!

OMG. Why?

What happened? I was writing away, in a notebook not on the computer, and I didn't have a break or anything. I was scribbling in a stream, when I suddenly realised I changed to "I". I began to identify with the initial boy (my nephew). I got into his head to keep the story in his POV. I had to see the world from his perspective and not the other kids, so I went into his head - totally!

And that makes sense. Before there was only one boy to see from...now there are two, and I have to stick in one head.

When I first started this writing caper, I wrote in omniscient POV - the story teller, all seeing, all knowing. Which made sense because as a scientist, my reports and stuff were all written in this manner (add in jargon and carefully constructed sentences!). To write novels, especially in the romance genre, I had to step out of omniscient and move to deep POV...but not head hop.

This no head hopping was such a damn challenge. I did it constantly without even noticing. But when I wrote in first person, the world became alive and I could remain in one head.

And in this kid's story, when there was just one kid and a dog, I was never tempted to the dog's POV. But throw in another kid, and I'm head hopping. My sub-conscious knows this, so it takes me to first person. And my eyes are opened! I've worked something out that has alluded me for 8 years :)

My brain is a weird, weird thing.

Do you have any weird things like this happen when you're writing?

Phallic Friday - Moon Cups or Juju Cups

I have weird conversations - even in real life. So I thought I'd share one here.

The other week I'm having a (life saving) Bowen massage. I've been going to this lady for 6 years, so she knows me pretty well. Somehow, we get to discussing periods and I mention Moon Cups. She frowns and says, "What on earth are they?"

So I tell her and off she heads to Google and finds this English website: http://www.mooncup.co.uk/

I told her to also look up Juju because they were Australian: http://www.juju.com.au/

Then we have a discussion about these wonders. I say I wish they'd been around when I was younger because they would have been a godsend. She's more skeptical.

She questions how you could use them before you lost your virginity. I say, 'the same as tampons,' as if it's quite obvious. But she's a bit older than me and when she was young, women weren't encouraged to use tampons. "How on earth did you swim?" I ask, horrified at the thought of not swimming for a week every month.

Juju Cups and their discrete bag (from www.juju.com.au)

I was a swimmer, and for that reason, I never thought about not using tampons. I have a vague memory of Mum not being really happy that I was using them, but I didn't really think about it. Some girls I knew said, 'you just squat right down and shove it in,' and that's what I did. It was worth it so I could keep swimming. And I was no Olympic swimmer, it was just a hobby.

My sister bought a Juju Cup a while ago when we first heard about them. She swears by it and wishes she had it years ago. I'd love to have tried one but I figured I was too old to get my money's worth from it. I think that was wishful thinking on my part!!

Are you a Moon Cup or Juju Cup user?

Wildlife Wednesday - a little fish

I live near the beach. Often there are fisherman, standing in the shore, patiently waiting for their line to rattle with the sound of a big fish swimming for its life. I've never seen any of them catch anything.

When Dad visits, he becomes one of these optimistic souls. I often join him because it's peaceful standing there on the beach, but I have no thought of catching anything. I'm there for the pleasure and peace.

Imagine my surprise when last week, I see a fish flapping on the sand as a wave drew out to sea. In amongst all the shells, was a flapping fish. On our beach! My scepticism was disavowed!

So here is a photo of the tiny thing :)

It's sitting in a pippi shell, which would be 5-6 cm across...so you see how tiny this fish is!!

Dad said it's a 'hardy head', some common bait fish. And we get bait fish around because birds often swoop and dive for them.

So this is my wildlife for the week. If it hadn't have flapped just at the second I glanced down, I'd never have known there really are catchable fish at my beach :)

Sunday Story - 30 November Kisses

It's almost November...a month where some men go on a binge to grow a moustache for Movember (you can read about Movember here).

Movember raises awareness and money for mental health research (men's) and prostate cancer research.

I have a few men in my family and friends who have/had mental health issues. So I like to especially think of them each November.

This year, I've self published a little story for the event - 30 November Kisses.

A couple of years ago, Rhyll Biest challenged me to write a flash fiction mo-ro. I had no idea what she wanted. Turned out it was a really short story about moustache romance. I started...and 30 days later, I had a full story!

So I tweaked and fiddled and learnt to self publish. And here it is, in time for November!

If you feel so obliged, you can donate the cost of the ebook toMovember or a mental health charity.

I hope you enjoy the story.

You can find 30 November Kisses at these places for your free reading fun:

Smashwords: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/485506
Kobo: http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/30-november-kisses

Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/30-november-kisses-cate-ellink/1120611215?ean=2940046352603

Phallic Friday - sex toys and other thoughts

Since last week's We-Vibe 4 and remote access post, I've been thinking a lot about sex toys, their role in life, and their evolution.

Many years ago, I became a bit of a sex toy collector. I'd found a shop run by a woman for women, that was filled with information, toys and videos. I think she was some sort of sex therapist - but whatever she was, she was really open and honest about sex.

When I first visited her shop, in Kings Cross, Sydney, I wasn't sure what to expect (and now I can't remember why I went, but I went alone). I certainly didn't expect to have the discussions I had with this lady. She took me along a shelf of vibrators and explained the pros and cons of each model. I had no idea there was such a range! I saw vibrators that resembled a penis that were for vaginal stimulation only, but came in all sizes according to your preference. Then we moved to waterproof vibrators so you could use them in the shower/bath. G-spot vibes, specially bent to hit the right spot while pleasuring you. Then we moved to vibrators with clitoral stimulation (you probably know the old rabbit vibes). It was an education.

What shocked me most was that these vibrators were often etched with designs or images, which were often of men/kings/animals. That was a bit disconcerting. Do we need images on our vibrators? I'm pleased to see this isn't so anymore. The We-vibe doesn't have gimmicky images, nor is it shaped like a penis. What an evolution.

I own a few of teh old fashioned vibes - because I couldn't decide and she was a good sales woman! Then we moved to other toys and she explained more, opening my mind to things I'd never contemplated before. It was extraordinary.

From then on, I wanted to be like this lady - unafraid of sex, sex toys and the things people do for pleasure.

My biggest foray into this world of unafraidness, was gifting a friend with a vibrator for Christmas. Don't worry, I warned her of what I was giving her. It's just she thought I was kidding. We went out for Christmas and for some reason I can't remember, we were doing the gift exchange at the party. I caught a quiet moment with her to give her my gift (it's in a box, so you can't tell what it is). She squeals, and goes to open it. I grab her hands and stare at her trying to convey my panic quietly. "You can't open it here." She's slow, really slow. She doesn't pick up on my words, clenched fingers or panicked breathing. By now a few friends have gathered around us.

She keeps trying to open it, and I'm crushing her hand saying "No. You can't." One of our good friends, a male, looks at me, frowns, looks at her, then at the box. He starts laughing. "Cate, did you buy her a vibrator?" I've no idea how he picked that of all gifts...but by crikey, his comment had her shoving the gift in her bag so quickly. He's now her husband and I often wonder about that gift!! :)

See, sex toys can give you a lot of pleasure... and they can even score you a husband!!

Wildlife Wednesday - birds again

I'm late ... sorry!

Today I'm sharing a family visit with you.

My aunt and uncle came to stay recently. My aunt is a bird watcher and is quite serious about it. So I took her down to our beach and the river mouth for some bird spotting. I took along my bird book and binoculars - I've not done that since I was at uni! Usually it's just the little camera in my pocket.

So...we're down there and she's waiting for me to tell her what the birds are. I look at her in horror, "I don't know what they are. I thought you'd know." We knew the same birds - the obvious ones! The others, it was like the blind leading the blind.

She went home majorly disappointed in my lack of identification skills!! For some reason she thought I knew everything. Glory be! (It makes me wonder what Dad's been saying though!).

Anyway, we have a few extra maybes on my list of visiting birds...but I discovered that it's not easy for even the serious birdies to identify them - well, not the serious birdies in my family!! My aunt suggested I join the bird watchers group - but that would mean less writing time, so I can't do that. I'll just muddle along in my own way :)

I did think about telling her of this column...but then I remembered Fridays...and kept my mouth shut! LOL.

So, moral to the story - I've inherited my uselessness at identification :)

Sunday Story - Memories of My Melancholy Whores

[image error] Last week I said I'd got this book from the library. It's not big but it packs a punch! It's not too dissimilar to Love in the Time of Cholera, but I found it so much better - maybe because it's short and intense.

The opening line is this: "The year I turned ninety, I wanted to give myself the gift of a night of wild love with an adolescent virgin."
from: Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
It's a story of a man who at 90 has never been in love, but has bedded hundreds of women. And then he falls in love with his adolescent virgin who he never speaks with, never has sex with, and never spends the day with.


And this is where I'm going to fall in a heap with my logic. In this book, I loved how the 90 year old man became teenage-like in his 'love' to the point of becoming insane. I loved his self-deprecating humour and the way he knew how silly he was being. But it wasn't just love that he tried for the first time, he also got a cat, sold precious items he never could have parted with before, and opened up a part of himself that he's kept firmly clamped all his life. He came to experience life and emotion, to value it.
In Love in the Time of Cholera, I found the guy pathetic and his love so obsessive that I couldn't believe it was truly love. I didn't find it fun or funny. Yet, the Whores I thought was fun and funny.
I wonder if that's because I was at a different point in my life when I read each? Or did I invest more into the longer book and so wanted more from it? Or has Marquez tweaked the story so that it suits me more in this one?
I think he's a gifted writer, but I wonder if he has ever known the purity of love. For me, animals show a purity of love but even with the cat, the old man never really loved it, he didn't understand it...maybe he would have been better with a dog.
I loved this book - maybe for its brevity!
In an aside, I checked out some reviews on Goodreads - it got a lot of 1 stars because of the content (an underage whore) and people's horror at the age difference.