Cate Ellink's Blog, page 31

Wildlife Wednesday - tropical fish

It's cold here and we had a long weekend which put my internal calendar out, so I figured I needed some tropical fish here today to warm me and so the post was short. Call me slack...I've been like that for weeks now. I'm not a fan of winter and it's biting me hard this year. I think because we missed autumn - just went from warm to freezing. Anyway, enough whinging! Enjoy the tropics :)

Wildlife Wednesday - caterpillars #2

The last few weeks I've had an infestation of caterpillars munching on my pot plants. It doesn't seem to matter what plants, or what I do to them, they're still there. They've eaten two plants to the roots - one a begonia that was looking so good and now is gone.

This one is a totally different caterpillar to those I had everywhere the other week (post is here). Those ones were hairy fellas and weren't confined to a food source like these guys are. It must be caterpillar season at my place!

So...ID is not easy (is it ever for me?) but maybe it's these (page of info here) - a caterpillar species of Spodoptera picta .

These are pests in Sydney garden that love 'lilies' of varying types - and the first plant they ate was one of those before they moved across to the begonia. They eat right down into the crown (which the varmints did), and they're about 5 cm long (which they are).

They do turn into quite a pretty fluffy moth (you can see it here), so maybe I won't mind too much - so long as my plants grow again!

Have you had lots of caterpillars this year? Or have I just been lucky that conditions here suit them?

PS Cool that these guys love you, Miss Lily! :)

Phallic Friday - Sex and Disability

Sometimes, strange things happen in my life where I begin to wonder how the Fates have conspired to make all this happen - how do they stitch such odd occurrences together so they come back to make sense?

Many many years ago, I met a guy (let's call him G) through a friend (let's call him F) who suffered from Muscular Dystrophy. He was fairly crippled and confined to a wheelchair, but he was my age (at the time late 20s) and there was nothing wrong with his mind/emotions/feelings/needs.

These two guys had been childhood mates and they remained the closest of friends until G died a few years ago. One of the things that struck me about F and G was that they had very similar minds - intelligent, enquiring, evaluating, and open - yet G was trapped inside his body. So while F was leading a 'normal' life that included picking up women, G was stuck in his chair. I can't imagine how frustrating this was for G, yet he never seemed to let it bother him.

And then I found out that when they hit their late teens, F argued (and organised) that G should be allowed to have sex. Physically, G could do this if the woman took care of his needs and was sensitive to the things he could not do, but G couldn't just pick up a chick in a bar like F did. So F organised for a prostitute to regularly visit G. It was my first awakening to the fact that people did need sex and connection and intimate friendships, regardless of their limitations.

It's something I greatly admire about F - that he can see the needs of others, and can work out solutions to problems.

So, fast forward more than a few years and in a quirk of fate I've found out about an organisation that actually does what F did. Touching Base is a charitable organisation based in Sydney, that enables people with disabilities to connect with sex workers. It's existed since 2000, so I'm late finding out about it.

I'm really pleased to find out that there's such an organisation. And I feel some sort of synergy when I stumble across an organisation that takes me back in time, to a discussion that began to open my eyes to the need for sex/intimacy/connection regardless of ability.

Wildlife Wednesday - Spittlebug

I have no idea about this bug but it has a funny story.

A couple of weeks back I'm sitting watching TV with hubby and I keep hearing a noise like flapping. He can't hear it. It's really bugging me but no matter where I went in the house, it was there. So I decided it was on me - or in me. So I stripped off and checked my clothes, checked my body, but no bugs. I was starting to think it was a bug in my ear and I'd have to be pouring olive oil down my ear or something to save my sanity. Anyway, when I re-dressed, I must have dislodged it a bit because then I started feeling something on my arm. The jumper comes off again. I start peering at the wool carefully all around my arm area. And there, attached to the threads is this weird looking bug.

It took me forever to free it from the wool fibres of my jumper but eventually I did. And thankfully, the flapping noise left with the bug.

But I've no idea what it is. It's tiny, maybe only 5mm in length (the black and grey is my woollen jumper).

Anyone got any ideas?

I'm going to try 'long nosed bug' in google and see how I go!

Well, I found things that are similar, and they're Spittlebugs. But I haven't found a lot of info about them, or even if they're in my area, but here's some info from Brisbane if you're interested. Oh, here's a bit more info (with a key) and they do occur here, so it's possible. At least the size and body shape is kind of right. And maybe it's the genus Philagra.

Spittlebugs are so called because many of the nymphs live in a 'ball' of froth (that looks like spittle) on vegetation, which they believe deters predators or prevents dehydration. The adults don't live in this froth. They are sap suckers, so are most often associated with vegetation.

You know, until I began doing this segment, I really had no idea how many fascinating critters were right in my backyard. I mean, I knew there were a lot, but these kind of bugs leave me astounded! I never even knew they existed, much less lived right here.

Phallic Friday - dicks and media

A couple of things have caught my attention lately in the sporting media, all related. So I'm going to have a rant.

There's this one - http://www.news.com.au/sport/nrl/paul-gallen-reveals-which-nsw-blues-squad-member-has-the-most-to-show-off-in-the-sheds/news-story/8582421854e9214a1844caeea59a959a.

Last week it was this - http://www.news.com.au/sport/cricket/jamaican-cricketer-chris-gayle-makes-controversial-comments-to-female-journalist-about-sex-and-equality/news-story/ed17a5ddb4e45f5ad0f0c1cf3e125e08

The first article is about Kyle Sandilands (a radio host) asking Paul Gallen (a footy player) who has the biggest dick in the dressing rooms.

The second is about Chris Gayle (cricketer) skiting about 'his big bat', referencing his penis not his cricket bat.

These things are reported and make news articles. Why? God knows. They're at once condemning what's being said, at the same time as making sure everyone knows about what's being said...and who has the biggest dick. It's a peculiar way to do journalism (if that's what you call it) and in my mind, it indicates a male dominated industry.

A male dominated industry because I doubt women would write these articles or ask these questions. And the ones that hit the media are mostly about big dicks, not small ones. Men are all 'size matters' so I'm assuming it's a male thing. (even though I know I'm making sweeping generalisations!)

While these comments are flaunted on the media, there are also comments made by commentators that are the opposite - where dicks aren't so large. Ray Warren, a lauded rugby league commentator, often makes remarks about his lack of endowment - on air and also in his book. Why? Again, I've no idea. It's just every time he does it, I'm kind of speechless.

I'm open minded, I like men's bodies, I don't have a thing against penises...but do I want to hear about penises on the media? The answer's NO. Or at least, not three of four times a week!

I don't care whether it's their large size or small size, I don't want to know. I don't think they should be referenced in general commentary. Do we ever discuss women's clits or labia? I've never once heard that discussed...yet it's the equivalent discussion for a female, isn't it? And when watching women's sport, I can't even imagine anyone discussing what's in a woman's shorts.

Do you have an issue with dicks in media?

Sick leave

I'm taking some sick leave - hopefully not for long! I have some godawful gastric flu virus that's not only sapping my energy but eating at my brain cells.

Lucky I have a great boss :)

Phallic Friday - censoring

I went to the clean side...and it's a problem! I know this sounds nutty, but it seems to be where I am at the moment.

I started writing clean books, censoring myself as I wrote. Each swear word got changed to something else. Sex wasn't on the cards, or if it was it was behind closed doors, hinted at rather than described.

It was confining. I noticed how much I swear, or how much my characters do. I noticed how easy it was for me to get carried away with the sex.

I filtered. I edited. I cleaned up my act.

And now, goddamn it, I can't write dirty. I've lost my filth. I'm stymied. I don't know how to get it back!

I'm reading raunchy stuff, hoping that will help. But forgive me if I've become too clean. I'll try to find my filth soon!

Cate xo

Wildlife Wednesday - Garfish

Garfish have always intrigued me - I think it's that big long nose! I also like marlin and long toms for the same reason. There's something so odd and unexpected with that shape.

My favourite website, The Australian Museum, doesn't let me down. Here's some info on the Garfish.

I'll summarise here:

They can grow up to 52 cm in length (these were maybe 10 cm)There are 18 different species and they're hard to distinguish (good, cause I reckon garfish is good enough!)They school (swim in groups). I just chased this one out by itself.
It's thought that the extended jaw allows them to hunt better, schooling up small fishes to help the garfish with feeding.

When we were kids, we'd often see them on holidays (on the NSW Central Coast) where the school would be close to the surface and they'd hunt smaller fish, breaking the surface with their 'beak' or tail often. Dad would always see them first and say "Garties", and then we had to keep our eyes peeled to try to see that flash of a beak breaking the surface.

For a while I'd only ever seen pictures of these things, never up close and alive, so I think that might be why I always find it exciting to come across one - even now. And yes, I have sent Dad this photo!

Sunday Story - Dirty and Never Sweeter

Two of my favourite authors had new books out this week and of course I devoured them! And because I read them back-to-back I have thoughts. So many thoughts.
What a week of reading!


So, Kylie Scott's Dirty dropped on my e-reader first and what can you do but open it. The first word is "Fuck." Not the most usual first line, but I was hooked! There's something raw about Kylie's writing. It sort of plonks you into the heroine's head and you get it all - swearing, doubts, hopes, fears, dreams. The trying to talk yourself into something, and talk yourself out of other things.

There's something about being inside someone's head that makes me feel relieved about my own headspace :)

Anyway, Dirty is book 1 of a new series (Dive Bar) which is a spin-off from the Stage Dive (rock stars) series. Vaughan is the hero, and we met him in one of the Stage Dive books when his band toured with Stage Dive. Vaughan's sister owns the Dive Bar. So our connection is made and we're into the new series with lots of links back to the band - who had their first gig at the Dive Bar.

Lydia arrives in Vaughan's house via traumatic circumstances which had me remembering Lick (the first Stage Dive book), although the circumstances are very different. Lydia, on the morning of her wedding, is sent a video of her husband-to-be and his best man enjoying the bucks night by screwing themselves stupid with each other. Cue the fleeing bride.

Although Lydia is heart-broken, there's enough humour to have you laughing at her epic disasters as she flees her own wedding. And this continues throughout - Lydia is funny. Vaughan is funny (and sweet). And so the story keeps rocking along, making you chuckle and smile - until the black moment - and then you're through that and back to sunshine.

I love that about romance. You feel good reading it. It makes your laugh, smile, ache, grin like a satisfied loon. Kylie Scott books always deliver that.

And then I picked up Never Sweeter. OMFG! I said Kylie Scott gets you into the heroine's head, well, Charlotte Stein digs you so far in you're trapped in all the messy glory of the heroine's brain. And Charlotte Stein does this in third person in this book (most people only manage it in first person).

I was trying to work out how these books are different, but for me both 5 stars, and I think I might have something - You know when you take a wedding photo, you can take one with the view, the crowd, the family, the gorgeous decorations as well as the bride and groom and bridal party. It's a stunning picture and shows everything that makes the day special - it's a priceless shot. That's Kylie Scott.

But you can also take a photo at the same wedding where you focus solely on the couple. The background is just a blur. There might be the edge of a bridesmaid and a best man, or maybe not. It's still a priceless memory. A beautiful shot. But the focus has changed. And this is Charlotte Stein. Couple on focus, everyone else blurred or not in the picture.

In Never Sweeter, Letty and Tate are the focus of the story. They're in college and they have friends, even family back home, they even have a horrible back story of high school together, but the major focus of the story is on the couple and their relationship. There's no setting up of a series. No extraneous detail. I couldn't tell you what country they're in, let alone what their college looked like. I know the bed is small in each of their dorm rooms only because they both have to fit on it.

There's an intensity to Charlotte Stein's writing that no one seems to match - and I think it's because of this zoomed in focus. No details unless they relate to the couple and the relationship.

The latest run of Charlotte Stein stories are darker than usual. This one deals with bullying - horrible high-school bullying that makes you gasp, ache, almost weep. One of Letty's high school bullies is Tate, who is now the hero of the story. And I wasn't sure you could redeem someone who'd gone so far...but Charlotte Stein did. Tate is gorgeous. He's making up for his mistakes. He's admitting his errors. And Letty is noticing that he wasn't entirely to blame.

This story rips at your heart. It's dark, intense, achingly beautiful - and yet there are funny moments, cute film references, sweet sweet exchanges. It's some magical balancing act that I'm not sure anyone else could actually pull off.

So, if you're looking for a fabulous panorama, can I recommend Dirty? But if you're after the close up, Never Sweeter might suit. But whichever you read, I hope you won't be disappointed. I wasn't.

(PS this is my 600th post - thanks for being here and letting me blah on! I'm so glad it was a post about fab books and fab writers.)

Phallic Friday - lions learning

The Shoalhaven Zoo has some new white lions - 2 females, 2 males - and so I went to visit them the other day. How lucky for me they were putting on this display! :) Not so lucky for the people with kids who asked questions.

Anyway, I snapped this pic as we walked up, rubbing my hands with glee because it covered Phallic Friday and Wildlife Wednesday, and then I looked a little more closely.

They were young lions. He hadn't grown into his mane yet.

Actually, he wasn't really trying and she wasn't really responding.

Then I realised they were brother and sister - the four lions are from the one litter. So this shot isn't quite as exciting as I initially thought.

We had a dog who used to hump almost anything while he was young (thankfully he grew out of it). Horses often do this too. But I'm thinking that it might be a testosterone-laden thing where you need to learn this mating right by practicing humping when you're young. Especially with these competitive species like lions.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for today. Do you know anything about lions learning about sex?