Cate Ellink's Blog, page 16

Sunday Story - Cock Tales

There's been a huge kerfuffle in the writing world which has quite significant implications if it's left unchecked. An author has decided to trademark a word. This sounds like nothing - but if it's successful, then it sets some ridiculous precedent where words may be copyrighted/trademarked and 'taken' from our vocabulary.

Maybe I've oversimplified the incident, but that's my understanding after a couple of weeks of trying to work out what the heck it all means!

In all the furor, some other authors have put together an ebook, and sales from this will be funded into an account to fight this legal battle.

There's something wonderful about people coming together to fight something they find is wrong.

It doesn't just happen in the writing world. Communities may band together to help out less-privileged people. Sports teams may work together to help someone who's struggling. People may work together to fight a wrong done by a big company or a richer person. These things are so heartening, especially when you're reeling about how can people be so stupid/cruel/mean/insensitive.

So, do you have your copy of Cock Tales?

Are you supporting another cause to help someone?

Do you find these 'group collective efforts' heartening?

Postcard & praise

In my euphoria of last week, I showed off the photo of my ARRA trophy at Book Club.

I know! My Book Club of learned literary readers!

But... after me being so shy about telling them of my writing, they were brilliant about the trophy. I felt like a million bucks!

Then today, one of the lovely ladies in my group sent me this postcard - Oscar Wilde - with the message on the back being, "Congratulations! And may this be the first of many!"

I've been completely blown away by people's support. It's been incredibly reaffirming.

I've struggled so much with the criticism that's often aimed at romance and erotic writing but I feel like I've finally turned a corner. I'm finding my feet, and my confidence, in this crazy world. And good grief...it's only taken me how many years?

The impact of this has been incredible. Something I had no true comprehension of.

Thank you so very much ARRA, and my readers.

(I'll stop banging on about it now!)

Wildlife Wednesday - cute spider

I have this gorgeous tree in my front yard which I think is a spruce. I've been taking photos of different parts of it lately because it hides some gems - droplets of water, wasp nests, shining resin, amazing cones, and then I spied this tiny spider staring up at me from the end of a branch.

Phallic Friday - polyamory

There was a really interesting article on news.com.au this week about polyamory - you can read it here.

And if you're wondering how polyamory is different to polygamy, there's a great article here.

Simply, polyamory is about having many loving relationships, where all people understand that others are involved in your life. These relationships may not necessarily be sexual.

Polygamy is having more than one wife or husband at the same time.

The polyamory article was interesting because it focussed on the conversations and the discussions partners may have. Sure, sex was mentioned - it's a click bait article so it has to, right - but I thought this article didn't overly hammer that angle for a change :)

Polyamory (I'm going to call it poly) appeals to me, or makes sense to me. I don't believe that one person can give another everything they need, which I feel is the fable that's spun around monogamy.

When I lived in a small town, I had my regular husband (Mr E) and a friend from work who I laughingly called my Cultural Husband. Mr E doesn't do art shows or musical theatre. He'll go under sufferance but I know he's hating every moment and that makes me uncomfortable. So it was best if he stayed home and was happy. So when I wanted to go, I'd invite my Cultural Husband (who lived across a couple of paddocks) with Mr E's full approval and relief. I'd never have termed us poly, but I guess, by definition, it sort of was that kind of a relationship. Everyone knew about everyone else, everything was upfront and discussed, both men got along well (when not at events they didn't like!).

I enjoy having D&M discussions with people about shared interests. I don't have a problem talking with men or women. Over my life, there have been quite a lot of people who've taken issue to me spending time with their partner/friend/associate. It's always disappointed me when people assume you can't have discussions/friendships without sex being involved. I think that's why I really enjoyed this article.

How do you feel about polyamory?

ARRA Award Thoughts

On this blog, I've tried to document my writing journey without too much censorship. Today's post is rather macabre, and also somewhat personal, so please be gentle with me.

I was stunned to see Team Player announced as ARRA's 2017 Favourite Erotic Romance. It was unexpected in the company I was keeping.

Team Player isn't a conventional story. It's written in first person, present tense, which so many readers hate. It's a MMF threesome without a submissive in the relationship. I was deliberately striving to create a threesome where each person had equal standing, if not at the beginning then by the ending, yet I know that's not conventional. It features sportsmen. It's quite explicit and raw in the descriptions of the sex, and I know some people had trouble reading it - the MM sex in particular. It hardly seemed the type of story that would win. However, I'm ecstatic that it did!

After the initial thrill at seeing my name, a sense of dread crept in, which has taken a few days to unravel.

In 2003, I won an award for best paper at a work conference. It was the pinnacle of my career. Such a huge accolade. I was completely blown away as I didn't know they presented best paper awards so had not even dreamed of it. It was before the time of mobile phones, and so by the time the event was over it was after 10 pm, too late to ring anyone and tell them.

I was working for a farmer group and our trial (which I had not been involved with during the planning, I came to it later) was quite unconventional. It excited me because of that. It was asking tough questions and was a huge undertaking. I loved the challenge of that. To win an award, to have people notice this work was a huge achievement. I thought we (our farmer-led research group) were destined for great things. (There are some similarities here, right?)

My Mum died that night, a few hours later. I woke in the morning to a phone call from Dad. My award was overshadowed by loss.

All of last Sunday, I kept expecting something terrible to happen. I'd won an award, surely a smashing defeat would come next, obliterating any excitement and joy. I waited... and waited.

It didn't come.

What came instead was this whopping realisation that I equated success with grief - a win with defeat

Damn it.

I knew I feared success more than failure...but I had no conscious understanding of why I feared success. Now I know.

Next comes the breaking down of those fears.

I'll have to dig out my 2003 trophy (that's buried in a filing cabinet) and place it with this beauty. I'll have to remain mindful of the pride and joy associated with each achievement, separate to sad events that surround each award.

ARRA Award

Thank you ARRA, Booktopia and readers. Tomorrow I might find words (some added now).

I wasn't able to attend the ARRA Awards Night because the other me had agreed to speak at the Sydney Writers Festival Live And Local event at Wollongong. My local ARRA member, reader, and "publicity agent" had organised this for me and so I asked her to apologise on my behalf when we realised the clash.

And then my book was a finalist. The lovely Diane tried to change my speaking time, but it meant changing the whole program. So, she asked me for a speech - in case I won. I laughed at her but wrote words because she was being good enough to humor me - and represent me!

I had to go and find what I'd asked her to say because I had no memory of what I'd written.

For today, while my thoughts are still so jumbled, here are those words.


Cath would like to thank: 
ARRA for fabulous events like the Awards and for their huge support of authors.
Booktopia for sponsoring this award.
Kate Cuthbert for her incredible self, her support and encouragement.
The Escape Publishing/Harlequin/HarperCollins team.
My writing friends and family who are only ever an email away and always get me out of trouble!
My family, especially my hubby, who manages to cope with not only my writing but this Cate, who none of them are very comfortable knowing!
Diane who’s representing me tonight after organising for me to give a talk today at a South Coast Writing Centre event. She’s great at prodding me when I’d rather stay in my cave!
Thank you to everyone who read and/or voted for Team Player, or JA Low’s Sapphire, or Vi Keeland’s Egomaniac, or Penelope Ward’s Mack Daddy. Authors love our readers. 
Thank you!

Saturday Search - Tarot

L to R: a traditional Tarot card, The Angel deck, Mary-El deckAbout 2 years ago, a friend gave me a deck of Angel cards while I housesat for her. I used them while I had days alone communing with myself and nature. I didn't understand them, but there was a sort of peacefulness in dealing cards, reading the little book, and working out if they meant something. I became somewhat addicted to this peaceful practice.

In the past Tarot had been a voodoo 'thing' that I'd steered well clear of. It was associated with fortune telling and all 'bad' things.

These cards were different to anything I'd seen before (e.g. the 'traditional' Rider-Waite deck on the left in the photo above) or been told. They were channelling images of Angels and unicorns and faery folk (pictured centre in image) and there was no fortune telling at all. Instead they were delving into me, poking at my thoughts about me, the world, life.

So began a practice that I'm still addicted to!

Top row: Mary-El Tarot cards. Bottom: Tarot of the CroneI then found a writer with a Tarot business (Weaver Tarot) and gave my friend a reading for her birthday. She raved and raved about the reading. As I thought I should have one, I was gifted one in a website promo. Aside from spending a lot of time talking about writing, Cat did a reading for me and used these Tarot cards that yelled at me from across the country (on the right in the top image). The symbolism in the cards were nothing like the Tarot cards I'd seen in the past, nothing like the Angel cards, and were something I could understand just by looking at them. On a gut-level, they spoke to me.
The Tarot of Femmes Erotiques - celebrating women
So I bought a deck of my own. The Mary-El Tarot deck.

And this weird thing has become even more addictive. I have another deck now that talks to me too (Tarot of the Crone), and not only that, it works with the first deck (middle picture).

Then I found a deck celebrating women, and I bought that too (last picture).

And I know I sound like a loopy person, and I know it's all weird and insane, but each morning I dig a little deeper in understanding myself as I flip a daily card from each deck and ponder how these cards relate to me, my life, my writing journey.

Have you ever used Tarot cards? Do you have a favourite deck, or symbol, or card?

Wildlife Wednesday - Tiger Moths

I think a long time back I did a post about these moths but I didn't have the name Tiger Moths so I'll use that this time! I'm doing it again mostly because my new camera takes great shots and I wanted to show off the photo I took! Gosh, plus it's 5 years since the last post - where did time go?

Tiger Moths in this case aren't the aeroplane but an orange and black moth. In my childhood, I called them Jaffa Moths, and that's still what I call them in my head.

Tiger Moths are only on the East Coast of Australia, so you probably won't have seen them, Lily Malone.

The eat nectar from wildflowers but also love lichen (an algae-fungi organism) and we've got heaps of lichen around our place. Mr E hates lichen and wants to bash it off everything, but I love it and keep telling him he can't! I don't think moth food will change the discussion any :)

Saturday Search - Oracle cards

I had never heard of Oracle cards until last year. There seems to be a heap of different types but I think the basic idea is that it's a simple deck of cards which uses symbolism and/or a word to stimulate thought. These can be used for whatever purpose you require - answering a question, helping to work out yourself or your thoughts, for clairvoyance, etc.
They seem to be a quick way to encourage thoughts and/or discussion.
I own three packs, each are very different. One is a Celtic Tree pack and it has some depth to it, linking in Runes, tree meanings, seasonal links, and personal meanings. It's a bit too deep for my daily use because I found I wanted something basic so I could think for myself after a prompt.
So, I was then pointed towards two decks and I couldn't decide between them. I followed both creators of FB and I still couldn't decide. Then one had a sale, so my decision was made, but then the other one kept attracting my attention and when she had a sale I had no resistance! 
One I use for my daily thoughts and the other for my dreams :) 
The Soul Trees cards are basic and beautiful. They have a coloured tree and a single word. I adore them.
The Messenger Oracle has artwork filled with symbols, rich with colour, and usually a phrase. They give my subconscious homework while I sleep, sometimes I dream with the dragons or mystical characters from the cards (I don't write fantasy but I do love it!)
This past month I've been participating in a challenge on Instagram where I create my own oracle deck using prompts set by Over the Moon Academy. A friend encouraged me, then another participant told me I needed to share my cards regardless of my skill. It's been the strangest experience. I draw terribly, like a child, and yet it's been a positive experience, even with putting my 'art' out in public. 
Looking at a word and then expressing it as a simple image has loosened up my creativity - kind of like word association game. Then trying to express that in a drawing has been a challenge. I don't see pictures in my head. So if I think of a frog, I know things about frogs and I know the basic shape, but I can't envisage a frog in my mind's eye, I can't get small details, and so I draw some rudimentary thing to skim over details. It's not much better if I look at a picture and try to draw it because I really need to trace to get it right, I have no clue how to work with perspective! I know mine looks like shit but I've no clue how to un-shit it, if that makes sense.
But it's been quite a rewarding experience and I've seen some incredible artwork and my mind's been opened by looking at other people's interpretation of a simple word. Sometimes people's interpretation of my art has me rather shocked in a good way.
Have you ever used Oracle cards? If so, do you have a favourite deck?

A dreadful day for Aussie sport

No no no no no. It's a shameful day in Australian sport. A day when I don't have sensible words. A day when I'm horrified by what's happened on the field, and more than horrified about must be happening off the field.
The Aussie cricket captain, along with one of the newest players, have admitted to cheating - not just cheating on the spur of the moment but a blatant planned cheating where it was discussed and agreed upon by a 'leadership group' before it happened.
That's horrifying, especially given all the other nasty crap that's happened during this tour. It's diabolical. It seems that there's things happening behind the scenes that we're not privy to. And that makes me speculate. It has me trying to read between the lines, read body language, and try to surmise what's happening that we can't see.
I watched Michael Clarke struggling to understand and explain what's occurred. I admire that he sat on the fence and wanted more information before he'd condemn anyone...but that also makes me question so many things. Michael Clarke has had nothing good to say about Cricket Australia since before he left/was forced out. The way he supported the current captain this morning, without directly supporting anyone else, has made me wonder how much more is beneath this incident...and who/what is really behind it.
Smith and Bancroft have owned up to this. Smith has also laid blame on an as yet unnamed 'leadership group'. Are Bancroft and Smith the only blokes with the honesty and guts to own this? Are they falling on their swords, but cleverly toppling a whole empire of gutless cheaters?
When Clarke left, some cloud hung over Cricket Australia, but as fans looking in we aren't privy to what that was. This morning he explained that partway through his captaincy, he lost control of the cricket team by CA putting in new structures which made a mess of the accountability, which previously had been so clear. And after Phillip Hughes' death, Clarke has said he felt he wasn't supported by CA and had been pushed into doing things he felt he shouldn't have had to do. I always thought he meant he was forced to play and captain, and encourage others to play through their fear, grief, emotion.
Is it more than this?
Is CA so focussed on winning that they've set up a system where players feel they need to cheat rather than just playing the best they can? Have players been forced to do things they're not comfortable doing in order to play in the Aussie team? God, have we lost sport and become something led by money/prestige/crowds/sponsorship/whatever?
I'm appalled to think of how deep this horror goes. I'm appalled to be a cricket fan, particularly an Aussie men's cricket fan, today. I don't want sport tainted by cheating. I don't want to be associated with this win at all costs mentality. I don't want our nation associated with appalling behaviour - which has been the case of this whole tour.
This isn't an isolated incident now. In light of this, I look back to Cummins standing on the ball the other day and his smug reaction when asked about it, saying of course it was an accident. Was it? I'm doubting that now. And last test, Warner had a huge amount of taping on his hand, which wasn't completely unexplained or illegal, but when South Africa protested about it the Aussies claimed all innocence - were they? Wasn't that tape there to do exactly what the SA's were worried about? 
It's not like the Aussies were doing so poorly that they were at the bottom of the entire world of cricket. No. This is a team that others should have admired...and they've lost not only admiration for themselves, but for every Aussie cricketer and cricket team in the past and possibly the future. They've besmirched the name of Australian sport. They've lost fans. And I would hate to have to explain this to a cricket-mad kid when I can't make sense of it myself.
I don't know how this will unfold. James Sutherland, CA boss, had a media conference where he sounded as if he was trying not to cry, and said nothing except that there was a process and it would be followed. That process is that CA send 2 people to investigate - how can that be fair if this problem is systemic? He said he hadn't spoken to the Captain - and that worries me deeply. Why not? The Captain surely needs his support, and needs to explain himself, and I would have thought should have been his first or second call. That's not looking good for the relationship between CA and the players. Add in the bad blood after the payments negotiation and nothing looks good there.
Has Smith been backed into a corner and is toppling a tower to weed out more serious cheating? 
I could be a conspiracy theorist but I think there is so much more behind this than we may ever know. I just pray that none of these young men are in positions that cause irreparable damage to their mental health and/or life.
I wait to see what happens, but my heart is broken and I don't think I can watch men's cricket with any passion.
What are your thoughts?