Cate Ellink's Blog, page 12

Wildlife Wednesday - Black Soldier Fly

This Black Soldier Fly was perched on an agapanthus leaf, next to the tap above a bird bath. I'm not sure I would have even seen it if it'd been anywhere else. I asked it to pose for the camera, and it very politely did! I was so sure it would fly aware when I put my camera in it's face.
Of course I had no clue what it was. Some kind of cross between a fly and a bug. But trusty Google came through for me. I called it a "Black Bug". Brisbane insects has some info here.
I've taken a bunch of mystery shots lately, so Google will be getting a good run!
But back to the Black Soldier Fly. In my searching, I came across an article saying there was fly farming happening (you can find it here on the ABC news website), and Black Soldier Flies are the choice for the farms. 
Why farm flies? 
Because they are a good protein source to feed fish and other animals that will then feed people.
When you google 'black soldier fly' there are an awful lot of hits for selling of them - in pet shops, as larvae or live flies.
There seems to be quite an industry using these to transform organic waste to animal feed. One such article is here, but there seems to be heaps. It seems I've stumbled across a whole industry I didn't know about - not just a fly!
Here's a bit of information from that article:

While the fly only lives for about a week, during that time the efficient breeders lay between 100 and 500 eggs. 

As soon as the eggs hatch, they begin breaking down organic matter into a protein-based substance used to feed animals.

With a current nutritional content of 60 to 65 per cent protein, with the remainder a mixture of carbohydrate and fat, Mr Pike said it made an ideal substitute for soybean meal currently used in many animal feeds.


Did you know about these critters?

Fearless Friday - change

Change. Fear of change.

Changing anything can cause panic or worry or anxiety in many, because change is going into the unknown, and that often brings fears.

I've never had terrible fear of change, but I've always been over cautious about it! I plan changes and have contingency plans too!

But right now, I'm going through some weird, unplanned change. I'm becoming a morning person!

It's a complete and utter shock - to me and everyone else I know. It hasn't been a conscious change, just something that's happened this year. And yes, I know it's only been a few weeks, but it's a HUGE change for me.

This change has had no fear attached to it - because I had no intention of changing. And to make a change without fear is incredibly refreshing.

I can count on maybe both hands the number of sunrise photos I have. This is quite different to my sunset photos which are too numerous to count (I'm talking 1000s). But I took this photo on Monday...at 6.05 am. I know, insane! And I woke before my alarm, which was set for 5.45 am. I never wake before I have to - or at least I didn't!

I don't know if it's some amazing Chinese herb in my tea, or just that I'm feeling better, or if the yoga meditation I've been going to on Monday mornings has rejigged my system. Whatever it is, I feel like a new person.

I used to do mornings - when camping, for working especially in summer, for special events - without too much hassle. I have never truly enjoyed them, but I did them fairly uncomplainingly.

Then I got Ross River Fever and I could sleep all day, every day. Mornings became something I never saw (but I rarely saw anything at all for a while there). Mornings were a pain in the arse because people made noise, so much noise, and disturbed me when I was trying so hard to sleep and recharge and find some energy. I juggled my life so I could sleep when I needed to, but I was never rested. I never felt rejuvenated or truly alive. Each day was an effort.

Over the last year or so, I've been seeing an acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist, and my health's been improving. I've also been doing a lot of other alternative practices, like energy healing, meditation, mindfulness, grounding, self awareness, past life exploration. I've pretty much tried anything that crossed my path a few times - and this isn't new, I've always been a dabbler in these 'odd' things. It's just that this time, they've had a huge impact.

I hope that these early mornings are a sign of improvement. I hope they signify that my health is getting better. I hope I can keep enjoying every day, and living with more joy.

And I hope I can write more!!!!!

Fearless Friday - turning ideas to action

I'll remain clothed for today's fearless post :)

I have ideas. They sprout in my head all the time. Often when I'm talking with friends, ideas just seem to snowball until we're laughing about our craziness. Do you ever have that happen?

I watched my niece recently and she's full of ideas. The interesting thing with her is that she doesn't hesitate. "Let's do this..." she says and then does it. Sometimes her ideas come on the fly and she follows them. She's 7 and I suspect this won't last much longer. I remember my nephew being similar and at 11, he's much more circumspect now.

In some cases, it's a good idea to second guess your ideas. Crossing the street without looking is something kids do, until they learn to look, because there can be consequences. Sometimes serious consequences.

I suspect I've become a lot more stagnant than I should be. I can twist myself up in a bazillion knots as I examine ideas from every side I can, determining if they're "good". And my definition of "good" has become a lot more focussed that it used to be. In the past good often meant fun, but now it means all sorts of things (like safe, financially sound, a decent return of time/investment, not open to argument from others) and fun is way down the list.

Occasionally I'm still impetuous. Often this results in deleterious events - or so I'm reminded each time I think of being spontaneous! Like last week I was on the beach playing with my niece and nephew and I bolted out of the water as they chased me, and PING!, this muscle in my hip decided it didn't like such activity. So I've been hobbling for a week - and those around me are constantly pointing out that I need to "act my age", not be so silly, and to be "realistic" about the games I play with kids. But heck, what fun is missed if I didn't just spontaneously run or play or act?!?

Same with stories. I have ideas and then I'm frozen as I examine all the implications.

A few years ago, I wanted to write about breath control during sex. But when I mentioned it, I was reminded of the danger in that, and about Michael Hutchence's death, so I have never done it.

My Past Lives story got panned in a workshop because there were too many 'as if' to believe. I went away and did years of searching and researching and most of my 'as ifs' were truths for past lives and soul mates. Without knowing anything about those 'beliefs' I could write things others believe in. Yet, rather than publish that story, I've let it sit and mould on my computer because I let my fear of failure or fear of ridicule stop me acting.

I have an idea for kids' oracle cards, and for a year I've been sitting on it, because I fear I don;t know enough to do that. I fear I don't have knowledge, or understanding, or skills, or a platform, or every other thing under the sun!

I need to get over these fears.

I need to act.

Maybe not every time, because I still need to watch out for cars on the street! But I do need to do things, more than sit on my thoughts and stagnate.

Am I alone in this weirdness? Do you do this?

Wildlife Wednesday - chiton

Hold on tight... I got an ID correct first go!

Yesterday, I was snorkelling in the local rockpool with my niece and nephew who are visiting. We were checking out some awesome things, including this 'underwater cockroach', and I said I thought it was a chiton.

Anyway, you know how bad my ID is, so I just wasn't sure.I worried about how on earth I'd dreamed up such a name, and why I'd just blurted it out to kids when I should have been teaching them the correct thing and not making something up.

But ahoy! I was correct! Blow me over with a feather.

So there's some information here on the Queensland Museum site if you're interested in more about chitons.

They're a mollusc (so an animal in a shell) and they like crevices and dark spots. You can see it here tucked in tight next to a rock, in a little crevice with a snail and some barnacles/top hat snails.

Their shell has 8 plates, held together by a girdle around the outside.

They eat algae and small invertebrates from rock platforms.

And I'll bask in this for a while now... :)

Fearless Friday - bodies #2

I didn't think I could write a scarier post than last Friday's but here we go...

In January last year, I was lamenting to a friend that men can just go to the beach in shorts, with a towel slung over their shoulder, and they rarely gave a damn about the gut that may hang over the waistband of their shorts.

Women, on the other hand, although they reach some age of invisibility, become visible if they do the same. But, why is that so? Why shouldn't women be able to wear a bikini with their belly protruding and their aged body showing? Why is that so terrible? Isn't it worse that we struggle into a full piece swimsuit, where we swelter before we get wet and then again as soon as we dry?

She suggested I should be brave and stride out for all womankind in my bikini and a sarong.

All year, it's sat in my head.

In winter, I bought a bikini online because it was cheap, and it was a step towards being brave.

This week, it's hot. And I know it's summer and it's meant to be hot, but summer on the coast can sometimes be hot, cold, or somewhere in between. At the moment, we have a hot spell. And that bikini called...or rather, the one piece repelled

So, I was brave - in a timid way! Late in the afternoon, I went to my beach, to my usual spot which isn't near the flags (and although that sounds dangerous, it's not really because the flags are only there for a few weeks of the year and when I have a dip outside of life-saver season, I swim here, so it's where I know. When kids visit, I go to the flag area and sometimes it seems much worse than my spot!) and I swam. I took off my sarong, and bared my belly to the world.

And that the 'world' was devoid of people, that was only a good (and lucky) thing!

It was freeing, wonderful, cool, refreshing. It almost felt like I was naked.

And when I told my friend, she told me that a whale to one fisherman was a mermaid to another - it just depended on how long they'd been at sea!!! :) :) :)

That's my fearlessness in the Christmas-New Year period. And when I retell this story, I may leave out that the beach was deserted!

Note: There are no photos of this event. No photos of the bikini either. The bottoms look like they could house a small family!

Wildlife Wednesday - immature Koel

 I have quite a 'birdy' backyard because I chuck out seed randomly and because we've got lots of trees around us, and I've got no pets.

Between October and December, we have Koels and Channel-billed Cuckoos and Wattlebirds arrive with all the raucous squawks and squeals and yells associated with them. The mornings become quite deafening, and take some getting used to for me who likes my morning sleep in!

The male Koel is black with a red eye. In most birds, the males are beautiful and the females dowdy, but I don't think this is true of the Koels. The female and immature Koel are very similarly colours. The adult female has a red eye, and the immature Koels have a black eye.

In the top left image, there are two Koels sitting on the waterbath and I can't decide if it's a Wattlebird or another Koel in blurry flight. In all the other shots, the Koel has a black eye, so an immature bird. I have seen the black male (but no photos this year), so I hope one of the two on the waterbath may have been the adult female.

I think this immature bird, and the female, are stunning. Those gold feathers on the head glistened beautifully in the sunshine. The banding is quite spectacular.

I'm so impressed that I was able to get these shots. I had to creep out, and I've cut away a lot of the image to show them up close, but the birds must be getting used to me, because I was probably within 7 m of him/her.

Have you ever seen such a pretty bird?

Happy 2019

Happy 2019!
As we wave farewell to 2018, I think many people will remember it as a year when the world seemed to turn upside down!

I'll be remembering at the year when my health improved, when I embraced alternative  / complimentary therapies and found some relief. The year when I didn't lose my voice - not once! The year when a few repeat events came around and I handled them differently. The year when I did a lot of work and reading into alternative practices, and stepped more closely towards all sorts of right-brained beliefs. The year I spent with Tarot cards, self-reflection, past lives, fears, dreams, memories, oracle cards, self-help books, and dancing along the edges of science and magick.

What does 2019 hold?

There's always a moment as the year clicks over, when it's like starting a new story - there's a whole blank page/notebook, just waiting for characters and adventures and romance and action. But for me, until I start writing the story, I have no idea where it may go! Sure, I'll have a few thoughts, but no hard and fast map or plan.

My thoughts for my 2019 are:
get a few self-published stories outfocus more on my writing career, and less on the every day tasks that consume me (but somehow still pay the bills)remain healthykeep exploring all aspects of the worldkeep exploring my right and left brain, and working to see if they can balance betterrun my OWL on Getting Comfortable Writing Sexdo a few local workshopsput together some 'help for writers' tips/articles work with other authorskeep enjoying the amazing creatures in my backyardmeet more readers and writersenjoy every day of life!
Do you have plans for 2019? Or any thoughts of what you'd like to achieve/do?

Fearless Friday - bodies

Body image is a whole lot of posts and thoughts and words, so I'll keep this to a tiny bit here today :)

I've been going for a massage that's sort of like a spiritual experience. It's Kahuna massage, and the woman also uses hot rocks (if I have a longer massage time).

It's like nothing I've ever experienced before. Not only is there the massaging of muscles, there's also movement of limbs and stretching. There's massaging of head, hands, feet. There's movement of energy. Sweeping away of energy. Reiki-type moves. Setting of intentions. Prayers. Releasing energy held in muscles and other parts of the body. The massage therapist moves as if in a dance. It's the most incredible experience.

The first one I had was a bit confronting. She asked me to strip off, leaving my underpants on and lie on the bed beneath a sarong. That's pretty standard for a massage. I had a modesty towel as well. About halfway through, she asked me to roll over. And that's not so unusual either. I rolled over, covered by the sarong.

And the massage continued...except my chest was uncovered. My chest was massaged. As it happened, it was just a part of the experience. The moves had no sexuality associated with them. It was muscle manipulation. There was no difference in the touch from the back to the front.

However, I'd never had a massage where my bra was removed and my breasts were exposed. Sometimes my bra was undone or removed, but always something covered my chest. So to have my body on display like that was a little disconcerting - not so much at the time, but afterwards when I thought about it, and especially when I described the massage to someone I was recommending it to.

Women's breasts are such an almost 'unacceptable' part of the body. We're told to cover them when breastfeeding. Topless sunbathing was a huge thing when I grew up and had very similar connotations to full nudity - which was that it was close to illegal (if not illegal). And yet...men's chests are revered, well, if they're well muscled, appropriately hair-covered or removed depending on the fashion. And truly, what's the difference? Women have more tissue and so the beasts are extended... should that make them 'disgusting' or 'shameful'?

The massage therapist and I had a discussion about the unusualness of having your chest massaged. I wanted to know why it was done - she was asking why it shouldn't be because it was a part of the body and needed the same care as all other parts. She's right. It is a neglected body part, and yet it needs the same care as the rest of the body.

Then I asked about how disconcerting for her underpants were. I'd noticed that her sweeping strokes along my body were always impeded by the fabric. She said, yes, she preferred to work without but that it was something quite difficult to ask people to do especially for their first visit. And yes, I don;t know I would have managed total nudity the first time...I'd been a bit surprised by the bralessness.

In the spirit of my new fearlessness, when I had a massage this week, I went with the full nudity. I had a modesty towel so no 'private bits' were exposed.

There was something really quite freeing about having this massage. The massage movements were much cleaner and powerful. I wish I could say that it wasn't at all uncomfortable...but I can't. Maybe next time I'll be more relaxed about the experience.

I don't mind exposing my body when there's no one to see it! It's a completely different story if someone's looking :) How I wish I grew up in Europe where body image and nudity seem to have far less hang-ups than in Australia (or my part of Australia anyway!).

How are you with nudity?

Wildlife Wednesday - Damselfly

I learned the difference between a Dragonfly and a Damselfly last week. The Australian Museum has some info here.

There are four major differences, but one of the was really really obvious - Dragonflies keep their wings outstretched, whereas Damselflies fold theirs.

I never knew! I never even thought we had damselflies here. So when I saw what I thought was a dragonfly flit past me and settle on a small tree in the yard, I asked him to wait until I got my camera, please. I thought I had no hope, but when I got back outside, there he was, waiting patiently and beautifully.

At the time, I did think, "Huh? I didn't know that dragonflies folded their wings."

But I thought nothing more of it...until I stuck a photo on FB and someone corrected my dragonfly ID. Oops! Should have looked that up rather than just be excited and stick up a photo :)

So, here are some of the many damselfly photos I took of the incredibly beautiful and patient damselfly.

Fearless Friday - Yael Stone

I'm writing this on Tuesday, after watching the 7.30 Report last night and the interview Leigh Sales had with Yael Stone. If you haven't seen it, this link to the ABC article might help.

I was completely blown away by the composure, intelligence and articulate way Yael Stone addressed a terribly complex and divisive issue.

The #MeToo movement has been welcome, but it's caused discomfort too. I don't know that I could have articulated my feelings as well as Ms Stone did last night.

So many things she said were incredibly well thought out and thought through.

She said she has to forgive her 25-year-old self for not behaving in a way that she would now.

This is such a powerful message. It's something that came up at the RWA conference too. We're all reflections of society, our upbringing, the times we were in, the things that were expected of us at that time. 20/20 vision in hindsight is something everyone seems to have - but when you're in the trenches, dealing with the life you're trying to work out, sometimes you can't see over the edge, much less far in front or around the corner. Sometimes you don;t act as you wished you had. Admitting that is such a powerful thing.

She also said she could forgive the man who made her feel uncomfortable. In fact, she seemed to have had a friendly relationship with him for years afterwards.

This too, is okay. I think it's a mature way to cope with the situation. She was uncomfortable in the workplace with this man's behaviour, with the imbalance of 'power', and with the way she felt. She was uncertain how to deal with this, but in her quiet way, she put in boundaries and in the most part those boundaries were tested but not significantly crossed.

This is how I've dealt with similar workplace circumstances. If you have to work with someone, you need to have a line, but you also need to mark that line in a way that doesn't alienate the work colleague. Once you know how the person reacts, you can have more confidence with that line, so long as you work hard at making sure it doesn't creep from where you placed it.

Her overall messages seemed to be, these things do happen, but rather than ignore them or challenge them in a court, maybe we need to sit down and have a conversation - person-to-person, and well as as a society. It's not just a single issue, this is a systemic change that needs to happen.

For me, this was the most powerful part of the interview. This is what I believe MUST happen. Court cases are fine... but they're all about taking sides, dealing out justice. They aren't about social/personal change. Unless issues are understood, I don't think change happens.

Ms Stone's examples of her discomfort in the workplace, and other similar behaviour reported, along with the man's denials, seem to show a type of behaviour that was allowed to develop over a long time. There's a generational age gap between the man and Ms Stone, and I think in that time a lot has changed with the power balance between colleagues.

Fifty-two years ago, my mother had to leave the workplace when she married. Her sister, who is a little younger, could remain working after marriage but was expected to leave when she was pregnant. Women didn't have anywhere near the 'standing' in society that men had. This is the time that the man in question would have been learning his craft, from older men. Respect for women was not high. Wives were commonly beaten in Australia. Women were allowed to vote, but there was an expectation that they voted for the same party as their husband. Women's rights were slowly changing, but not in a fast way.

Today, women vote for who they want to. They have the ability to work when married, pregnant, with children, and to keep their surname. They can lobby for equal pay. They can speak out against violence. I'm not saying any of that is perfect yet - far from it - but in the lifetime of these older men, women have gone from silent doormats, to outspoken, strong humans who expect equality.

The behaviour that this man probably saw and learned as a young man, is not tolerated now. But sometimes older men are the hardest to change. They don't see what they do is 'wrong' because 'that's how it's always been done'. It can be very difficult to argue with an older man who is adamant that you're a young woman who'd know nothing (or a middle-aged woman who still knows nothing) and shouldn't have a place or a voice. It may not all be older men too, sometimes it's a cultural aspect that has men believing the same things as the older Aussie men.

That's why we need a conversation about these things. That's why we need to open the discussion on a large, societal scale.

Awareness and education are keys to change. If we can talk - articulately, intelligently, respectfully, and logically - about circumstances and events that made us uncomfortable, then people may begin to see patterns and see a way of changing these patterns. In themselves, and in society as a whole.

I admire the fearlessness that allowed Ms Stone - and so many others - to speak out.

As she said, it's not easy to speak about these things, and many aspects had to be weighed up before she said a word. Bravo, on an incredibly moving interview, Ms Sales and Ms Stone.