Randy Alcorn's Blog, page 53

Nanci’s Memorial Service and Life Story

Yesterday was Nanci’s memorial service. Thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for our family and for the service itself. I believe our time was honoring to Nanci, and above all, honoring to her beloved Jesus. I’ll have more to share later, but for now, here is the video. (Fair warning, it’s a long service, as memorial services seem to be these days. But when somebody has lived, and lived well, for 68 years, it’s challenging to summarize and celebrate a life quickly.)

Here is Nanci’s life story that was shared:

Nanci Annette Noren was born November 30, 1953 to Elmer and Adele Noren at Portland Sanitorium, which later became Portland Adventist hospital. On March 28, 2022, Jesus took Nanci to live with Him where there is no sin and suffering.

The Apostle Paul said, “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord” and “it is better by far to die and be with Christ.” Nanci is safely home with Jesus, where joy is the air she breathes. As Psalm 16:11 puts it, “In your presence is fullness of Joy, at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” 

Nanci is survived her husband Randy and her daughters Karina Elizabeth Franklin, and Angela Marie Stump, as well as their husbands Dan and Dan, who Nanci affectionately called “the Dans.” Also, her beloved grandsons Matt, Jack and David Franklin, and Jake and Ty Stump, each of whom she continuously prayed for, delighted in, and loved being with. She is also survived by her brother Ron Noren and wife Ione, and her sister Donna Schneider and husband Tom, as well as the Noren and Schneider children and grandchildren, and Randy’s brothers, Lance, Allen and Curtis, and his sister Gail.

Nanci’s first family home was in Springdale, Oregon, near Corbett. Her family moved to Portland when she was three. When she was five, they settled at 69th Avenue in Southeast Portland, just south of Mount Tabor.

As a child, Nanci spent most of her free time playing with children in her neighborhood. She was often the ringleader and activity planner.

Nanci’s family attended Powell Valley Covenant Church, enjoyed camping, and often went to their family beach cabin in Manzanita, built by her dad. Nanci loved going to summer camp at Covenant Beach Bible Camp in Des Moines, Washington. 

Nanci attended Youngson Elementary School through 6th grade, then Kellogg Middle School for 7th and 8th grade. She graduated from Franklin High School in 1972.

Nanci and Randy met on December 7, 1968, in their freshman year of high school. She invited him to youth group at Powell Valley church. In August 1969, just before their sophomore year, Randy placed his faith in Christ. Nanci and Randy never dated anyone else after they met. They knew and loved each other for 54 years, from age 14 to 68.

Nanci and Randy were active in the Powell Valley Church high school group. Nanci attended events at Franklin High and spent a lot of time with Randy at the brand-new Barlow High School. She was at Barlow sporting events and concerts so often that many assumed she attended there! After graduating, Nanci and Randy together attended Multnomah School of the Bible, where she later worked.

Randy and Nanci married at Powell Valley Covenant Church May 31, 1975, 47 years ago this month. Then in March 1977, they were part of the Bible study at Norm and Dottie Norquist’s house that two months later became Good Shepherd Community Church, where Randy was one of the two original pastors. Nanci served the church faithfully through youth groups, Sunday School, and Bible studies.

Nanci and Randy both dearly loved raising their daughters Karina and Angela. They had many wonderful times together at home and at church, and on vacations, including at the Noren beach cabin in Manzanita. Nanci loved Disneyland and other Southern California theme parks and was always eager to take her kids there. She traveled with Randy and sometimes with the girls, all over the world. When Karina and Angela were nearly nine and seven, the family took a two-month trip to visit Good Shepherd missionaries in Egypt, Kenya, Greece, Austria, and England.

Years later, Nanci and Randy were delighted to see their daughters, in the same summer, marry wonderful, godly men. And then came grandchildren, whom Nanci never stopped thinking about. She loved watching football, tennis, basketball, and every other sport her daughters and grandsons played.

Nanci was diagnosed with cancer in January 2018. Over the next four years she had three surgeries, and three rounds each of chemotherapy and radiation. Though her doctor said two months ago that Nanci might live another year and a half, within a week, Nanci sensed she had much less time than that.

Nine days before she died, she asked that her whole family come so she could see them and speak to them. All 11 of us gathered in her room around her hospital bed. Though for weeks she had hardly been able to speak a sentence, God gave her strength to share words of love and encouragement.

Randy then read to the family powerful portions from her handwritten journal, affirming the sovereignty and goodness of God. She encouraged her family to trust fully in God’s love, and His providential purposes. Together we prayed over her, and throughout the day different family members held her hand and spoke to her, sometimes as she slept.

Nanci and Randy talked often about Romans 8 where it says the whole creation groans under the Curse and is longing for resurrection day. They delighted in anticipating what God has in store for us on the New Earth. She often told Randy that she was asking Jesus to let her serve Him by living near the water and taking care of dogs and otters, as well lions, cheetahs, dolphins, monk seals, manta rays, and whales (she never mentioned eels).

Nanci walked her dogs for the joy it gave them and her, but it became a ministry in which she developed relationships with other dog-owners, giving them gospel-centered books and inviting them to church and Bible studies. She also led women’s Bible study at her church for decades, and delighted in seeing people come to faith in Christ and develop a bigger view of God. Many who were in her groups sent notes in her final weeks and after her death saying things such as, “I learned so much about God’s Word from Nanci, I always knew she loved me, AND she was SO much fun!”

Nanci’s family and friends already miss her cheerful and playful personality, her contagious laugh, her eternal perspective, her love for life, and above all, her love for the God she trusted.

A few days before Jesus took her home, one of the women who was in her Bible study groups, Marie, texted her this, and many others have spoken similarly: “I love you, Nanci, my dearest friend, and I thank YOU for my love of God. I will never forget you. You are my teacher and my mentor.”

What Faith Is, and Is Not

On November 14, 2019, Nanci wrote the following in her journal:

Today I am thinking about “faith.” I have learned so much about faith.

What faith is not:

- Trying to gather as much hope and “possibilities” in my own mind to reach a certain level

- Believing in that level of possibilities as hard as I can

- Presenting that package of my own hopes and dreams to God as my personal qualification to receive my hopes and dreams

- God weighing the level of that package in order to determine the level of His answer to my prayers

- If I work up enough hope on my own, God will answer my prayers according to my wishes

What faith is:

- A deep and continued study of the character and work of God Almighty

- A deep and continued discipline of prayer—listening to the Holy Spirit—praying Scripture—seeking forgiveness—asking for enlightenment—praising Him for His character and works

- Then, based upon the above, submitting your requests to God Almighty—placing your well-grounded knowledge of His character and works into each request, always asking His will be done

Faith is being assured that God Almighty always acts according to His character and works. He never waivers. You can trust in God Almighty to always do the right thing. Nothing slips through His grid. God has everything planned, and all His plans will succeed.

The more I understand God’s character and works, the stronger my faith will be, and the more I want His will to be done.

God does all things well.

The more I understand God’s:

- Omniscience

- Omnipotence

- Grace

- Mercy

- Justice/worth

- Immanence

- Immutability

- Faithfulness

- Love

- Unity—Trinity

- Holiness

The more my faith in Him will calm my soul.

Randy again: Some people hold tenaciously to a faith that their child will not die, that their cancer will disappear, that their spouse will recover from a stroke. Do they have faith in God or is their faith in what they desperately want God to do?

If we base our faith on lack of affliction, our faith lives on the brink of extinction and will fall apart at any moment because of a frightening diagnosis or a shattering phone call. Token faith will not survive suffering, nor should it. Only when we jettison ungrounded and untrue faith can we replace it with valid faith in the true God—faith that can pass, and even find strength in, the most formidable of life’s tests.

God tells us that trials in which evil and suffering come upon us “have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:7). Paul Tournier wrote, “If healing through faith is striking, how much more so are spiritual victories without healing.”

Several years ago, before Nanci was diagnosed with cancer, I wrote this in a blog titled “If I Have Enough Faith, Will God Heal Me?”:

We should pray for ourselves and our suffering loved ones, not simply try to pray away suffering. ‘God, please heal this cancer’ is appropriate. ‘God, please use for your glory this cancer, so long as I have it’ is equally appropriate.

Let me be clear: God can and sometimes does heal presently, and whenever He does we should celebrate His mercy! I have often prayed for healing and sometimes I have witnessed it, and it’s a wonderful thing to behold and celebrate. But ultimately, all healing in this world is temporary, since people’s bodies inevitably deteriorate and die (after Lazarus died and was risen in his mortal body, eventually he had to die again) Resurrection healing will be permanent. For that our hearts should overflow with praise to our gracious God.

Nanci and I have long known that prosperity theology, or the health and wealth gospel, is a deception, not the true gospel. So we did not even once cling to the “certainty” that God would heal her in this world under the Curse.

Nanci’s journals overflow with the promises of God, and many quotes from Spurgeon and the Puritans, people who died long ago (some of whom she probably already met—if there is a line for those waiting to meet Spurgeon, she’s probably in it having delightful conversations). Nanci never quoted from aging and dying prosperity preachers, who will all die of something and daily get closer to death even as they promise “It’s always God’s will to heal you,” typically adding “send us your prayer requests for healing, along with a love offering [money].”

Though we prayed for it every night for four years, we understood that healing was never a certainty, and also knowing full well that sometimes He chooses to heal and sometimes He doesn’t, and even when He does the healing is temporary, and death always comes. “For death is the destiny of every person, and the living should take this to heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2). When doctors told us Nanci was going to die, she told me, “We always knew that, we just didn’t know when, and we still don’t.”

But of course, God promises the death of death. He will not let it die a natural death, He will decisively “swallow up death forever” (Isaiah 25:8). Death will not have the last word. God will.

Jesus said to Martha, mourning the death of her brother Lazarus, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26).

Answering the question Jesus asked Martha, Nanci and I both said yes—we DO believe you, Jesus. We believe that even when we die, we will live, and in the sense of final death we will never die at all. We will depart a cursed earth to live with Him in the present Heaven, from which He will one day bring our spirits down to join our bodies in resurrection, and we will then live forever on God’s New Earth.

Nanci Alcorn's Memorial Service - Sunday, May 15

Nanci's service will be held Sunday, May 15 at 3:30 p.m. PT at Good Shepherd Community Church, 28986 SE Haley Rd, Boring, Oregon. A live stream will be available on YouTube and on the EPM site (the recording will also be available at that web address after the service).

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

The Storm Has a Bit in Its Mouth

I’ve mentioned that Nanci’s journal she kept over the last four years of her cancer contains many Charles Haddon Spurgeon quotes. A few months ago she wrote down some profound sentences from this sermon by Spurgeon, titled “Safe Shelter.” It seemed right to share more of it with you.

I don’t know if Nanci has met him yet, but CHS is on her shortlist of people she is eager to thank! Mine too. God has reached countless millions through Spurgeon’s sermons and books, but if the only one who ever read him was my wife, the impact on her life alone, and on mine and many others through her, would have been worth it. (I don’t know whether she’ll break the news to him that he and I are co-authors of the book We Shall See God!)

Preaching on Psalm 91:4, “He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings shall you trust,” Spurgeon says this:

The Lord here compares Himself to a hen covering her brood—and He speaks not only of the wings, which give shelter, but He enters into detail and speaks of the feathers which give warmth and comfort and repose. “He shall cover you with His feathers and under His wings shall you trust.”

Using thus the maternal instinct as an emblem of His own parental tenderness, God compares Himself to the mother bird which fosters, cherishes and protects her little ones. You have stood, sometimes, in the farmyard and there you have noticed the little chicks as they cowered down under the hen. She has given some note of warning that betokened danger—perhaps your very presence discomposed her and made her betray some little fluttering of fear. She called her little ones by her peculiar cry. They came to her and then, stooping down and spreading out her wings, she covered them and they were safe.

You would have noticed that after they were safely nestled there, the warmth of her feathers made them seem peculiarly happy and at ease. You could hear them clucking to one another and playfully pushing one another sometimes out of their places, but evidently cheerful, contented and peaceful. It was something more than the protection which a soldier would give to a comrade—it was the protection of a mother of her young. There was love in it. There was homeliness, relationship, kindliness, heart-working in it all. It was not merely the relief that might supply a little cold comfort, but the breast feathers came down upon the little ones and there they rested cozily and comfortably, serene and unmolested.

…Not only is protection from danger vouchsafed, but a sense of comfort and happiness is communicated, making the child of God feel that he is at home under the shadow of the Almighty. He feels he has all the comforts that he can need when he has once come to cower down under a blessed sense of the Divine Presence and to feel the warm flowing out of the very heart of God, as He reveals Himself in the most tender relationship towards His weak and needy servants.

Carrying this picture in your mind's eye, may it often cheer and encourage you. Though I have nothing new, no bewitching novelty to introduce to you, I want to bring this old, old Truth of God vividly before your minds, to examine it in detail and press it home to your souls.

…WHEN MAY THIS TEXT BE RELIED UPON BY A BELIEVER? “He shall cover you with His feathers and under His wings shall you trust.” Well, it may be relied upon in cases of extreme peril. I do not doubt that servants of God, in times of danger at sea, when the huge billows have roared and the tempest has raged and the vessel seemed likely to go to pieces, have often cheered their hearts with such a thought as this. “Now, He that holds the waters in the hollow of His hand will take care of us, and cover us with His feathers and under His wings may we trust.”

Perhaps at this very moment, down in some cabin, or amidst the noise and tumult and the raging of the ocean, when many are alarmed, there are Christians with calm faces, patiently waiting their Father's will, whether it shall be to reach the port of Heaven, or to be spared to come again to land into the midst of life's trials and struggles once more. They feel that they are well-cared for. They know that the storm has a bit in its mouth and that God holds it in and nothing can hurt them—nothing can happen to them but what God permits.

On the dry land, too, the same blessed text has often comforted the Lord's people. Some are particularly timid in times of storm when the thunder comes, peal after peal and the lightning flashes follow each other—when it seems as if the very earth did tremble and the skies fled away from the glance of an angry God.

Oh, how it calms the anxious heart, stills the foreboding fears, and makes the heart tranquil to feel that He covers us with His feathers and that under His wings we may trust! I always feel ashamed to stay indoors when peals of thunder shake the solid earth and lightning flashes like arrows from the sky. Then God is abroad and I love to walk out in the open space and to look up and mark the opening gates of Heaven as the lightning reveals far beyond and enables you to look into the unseen.

I like to hear my heavenly Father's voice, but I do not think we could ever come to a state of peace in such times as those if we did not feel that He was near—that He was our Friend—that He would not hurt the children of His own love. It would be contrary to His own Nature and altogether apart from the kindness of His Character, as well as the constancy of His Covenant engagements, that He should suffer anything to touch His people that could do them real ill.

Nanci Alcorn's Memorial Service

Nanci's service will be held Sunday, May 15 at 3:30 p.m. PT at Good Shepherd Community Church, 28986 SE Haley Rd, Boring, Oregon. A live stream will be available on YouTube and on the EPM site (the recording will also be available at that web address after the service).

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

Suffering Is No Accident

I write this on the one-month anniversary of Nanci’s homegoing. Strange to think that our true home is a place we’ve never been. Paul said, “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far” (Philippians 1:23). Yet our eternal home will be on the New Earth where “no longer will there be any curse” and “The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him” (Revelation 22:3).

Nanci was my beloved wife for 47 years and my best friend for 54 (we met at age 14 and never dated anyone else since). I recently shared this with a group of men online (it applies to both husbands and wives):

Brothers, cling to your wife, and don’t let a day go by without telling her how much you love her and thank God for her. By God’s grace, I can honestly say I don’t look back at my marriage with regrets. Like all husbands, I have a stupid gene, and I said my share of stupid things. But I also repented, often asked Nanci’s forgiveness, and had the privilege of becoming her primary caregiver, keeping my vows “for better or for worse” and “till death do us part.” 

In her journal, Nanci shared these insights:

Serving God in our suffering is not an assignment given to us by God; it is the natural outcome of the level of trust which has been supernaturally infused into us by God through our study of God. Knowing God causes us to have the perspective which ignites our hearts and controls our actions. But we, in our complacent hearts, often fail to study God. We have other priorities. We don’t feel the need. Then when suffering/trials arise, we are ill-equipped to understand (and therefore not able to gain more understanding) of the good purposes God has for us in it all.

Faith is trust in what you have come to know as true. Faith is not instant. Faith comes from study. Faith comes from testing what you believe to be true.

As I share in today’s blog (from 90 Days of God’s Goodness), we owe it to God, ourselves, and those around us to prepare for suffering. Part of that preparation is choosing to allow suffering to drive us deeper into God’s love.  

Come, O children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
What man is there who desires life
and loves many days, that he may see good?
Keep your tongue from evil
and your lips from speaking deceit.
Turn away from evil and do good;
seek peace and pursue it.
The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous
and his ears toward their cry.
The face of the Lord is against those who do evil,
to cut off the memory of them from the earth.
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears
and delivers them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves the crushed in spirit.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivers him out of them all.

—Psalm 34:11–19, ESV

Many believe that suffering is never God’s will. But this Scripture tells us that it often is. And these verses affirm God’s faithfulness even as we suffer.

A young woman battling cancer wrote me, “I was surprised that when it happened, it was hard and it hurt and I was sad and I couldn’t find anything good or redeeming about my losses. I never expected that a Christian who had access to God could feel so empty and alone.”

Unfortunately, most of us don’t give focused thought to evil and suffering until we experience them. This forces us to formulate perspective on the fly, at a time when our thinking is muddled, and we’re exhausted and consumed by pressing issues. If you’ve been there, you’ll attest to the fact that it’s far better to think through suffering in advance.

Pastor James Montgomery Boice had a clear perspective. In May 2000, he stood before his Philadelphia church and explained that he’d been diagnosed with liver cancer:

Should you pray for a miracle? Well, you’re free to do that, of course. My general impression is that the God who is able to do miracles—and He certainly can—is also able to keep you from getting the problem in the first place. So although miracles do happen, they’re rare by definition.… Above all, I would say pray for the glory of God. If you think of God glorifying Himself in history and you say, where in all of history has God most glorified Himself? He did it at the cross of Jesus Christ, and it wasn’t by delivering Jesus from the cross, though He could have.…

God is in charge. When things like this come into our lives, they are not accidental. It’s not as if God somehow forgot what was going on, and something bad slipped by.… God is not only the one who is in charge; God is also good. Everything He does is good.… If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you’d change it, you’d make it worse. It wouldn’t be as good.

Eight weeks later, having taught his people first how to live and then how to die, Pastor Boice departed this world to “be with Christ, which is better by far” (Philippians 1:23).

Suffering will come; we owe it to God, ourselves, and those around us to prepare for it.

Lord, as I and those I love face hardship and suffering, give me that same sense of your grace and purpose that Pastor Boice enjoyed. Remind me that for those who bow their knees to you in repentance and faith, our present suffering will be replaced by the eternal pleasures of your presence, where joy will be the air we breathe.

Photo by Austin Schmid on Unsplash

Sorrow’s End

Contemplating the final end of sorrow has brought me great comfort in my first month of grief after my precious wife’s death. I already can’t wait to see Nanci again and have her show me around Heaven, and then after the resurrection when we relocate to the New Earth, for us to both experience it for the first time together. How glorious that will be, and above all just to be with Jesus regardless of where!

I sometimes ask Jesus to pass on messages to Nanci as I have asked Him to do for my mother since 1981 when she joined Him there. As I shared in a past blog, of course, we shouldn’t pray to the saints who are with Jesus, or try to talk to them directly, but we can always pray to Jesus, our only Mediator (1 Timothy 2:5), and He can tell our loved ones living in His presence whatever He wants to. He still hears our prayers, and I think there’s every reason to believe that He would pass on to Nanci something I ask Him to.

These are two paintings that Nanci loved, putting up printouts of them in her office. She saw herself as the girl in both photos, with King Aslan the lion in the one, and with the real King Jesus who Aslan depicts in the other.

Above the blond girl embraced by Jesus, my blond wife wrote “Someday.” And at last that day she longed for has come.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

—Revelation 21:1–5

I write in 90 Days of God’s Goodness:

God promises that one day there will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain. As we are acutely aware, that day has not yet come. But notice how Jesus caps off His promise to His disciple John: He says John should write the words down because they are “trustworthy and true.” In other words, He is saying, “John, my beloved friend and servant, you can take these words to the bank; I’ll stake my life on them. In fact, I already have.”

Christ promises—in writing—a resurrected life on the New Earth, an eternal life without sorrow and pain in a glorious new world. Talk about light at the end of the tunnel!

Our own suffering is often our wake-up call to the world’s suffering. But even if you aren’t now facing it, look around and you’ll see many who are. If we open our eyes, we’ll see the problem of evil and suffering even when it doesn’t touch us directly.

The loss of American lives in the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, numbered 2,973—horrible indeed, yet a small fraction of the terror and loss of life faced daily around the world. The death toll in the 1994 Rwandan genocide, for example, amounted to more than two World Trade Center disasters every day for one hundred days straight. Americans discovered in one day what much of the world already knew—violent death comes quickly, hits hard, and can be unspeakably appalling.

Yet no suffering is like our own suffering. After his wife died, a grief-torn C. S. Lewis realized and wrote in A Grief Observed, “If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came.”

Sufferers have told me, “We did everything right. We attended church and gave our money to missions—and then God did this to us. I don’t get it.” At times like these our faith gets exposed as an insurance policy for which our good behavior is the premium we pay to protect us from harm.

Devastation and tragedy feel just as real for those with faith as they do for those who have none. But knowledge that others have suffered and learned to trust God anyway gives the faithful strength to keep going. Because they do not place their hope for health and abundance and secure relationships in this life but in an eternal life to come, believers’ hope remains firm regardless of what happens.

And on the other side of death, God promises that all who know Him will experience acceptance into His holy, loving, and gracious arms—which is the greatest miracle, the answer to the problem of evil and suffering. He promises us an eternal kingdom on the New Earth, where He will wipe away every tear from the eyes of those who come to trust Him in this present and temporary world of pain.

Lord, thank you for your promise of a new and glorious and everlasting life on a redeemed Earth, with you and all of my spiritual family. Help me to trust you today, to sense your arms around me and your gentle hands even now beginning to wipe away my tears.

Photo by FRANCESCO TOMMASINI on Unsplash

Honest Faith Can Cry out to God

As I shared recently with a friend, it’s a new world I’m living in without Nanci. I miss the old one. The house is profoundly changed by Nanci’s absence. Not hearing her laugh is maybe the hardest part. But I’m sure looking forward to the great reunion, and eternal life with Jesus in a far better world. And to hear her laugh, louder and more vibrant than ever! Here’s a tiny sample of that laugh:

One of the many quotes that Nanci included in her journals was this one from our precious friend Joni Eareckson Tada:

It is when your soul has been blasted bare, when you feel raw and undone, that you can be bonded to the Savior. And then you not only meet suffering on God’s terms, but you meet joy on God’s terms. You cry out to God and He gets your heart pumping for heaven. He injects his peace, power, and perspective into your spiritual being. He imparts a new way of looking at your hardships. He puts a song in your heart.

Scripture models this crying out to God:

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.
O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer;
And by night, but I have no rest.
Yet You are holy,
O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them.
To You they cried out and were delivered;
In You they trusted and were not disappointed.

—Psalm 22:1–5, NASB

Here’s what I wrote in my book 90 Days of God’s Goodness:

What an honest cry to God for help: “Why, God? Why does it seem like you’re not answering my prayers?” As he wrestles with this, David turns to Scripture, where God’s deliverance of His people is documented. David reflects on their trust in God. In the end, God’s faithfulness to Israel inspires David to believe that God will prove faithful to him as well.

God’s Word contains countless expressions of concern and anguish about the hard times people experience and the fact that they sometimes don’t feel God’s closeness. In this fallen world, “Why?” is a common question.

Randy Butler, a pastor, told me about his teenage son’s death. “For twenty years, God gave me a perfect life, family, and ministry. Then Kevin died, and nearly every morning, for three or four months, I screamed questions at God. I asked, ‘What were you thinking?’ And, ‘Is this the best you can do for me?’ And finally, ‘Do you really expect me to show up every Sunday and tell everyone how great you are?’ In the silence I began to hear the voice of God…then, without any announcement, when I became silent, God spoke to my soul. He had an answer for each of my three questions.”

Had Randy not been unreservedly honest with God, he couldn’t have completely grasped how the God he spoke to had watched His own Son die long before Randy had. God the Father had endured the horrible death of Jesus, His only Son. So, better than anyone in the universe, God empathized with Randy’s pain.

A lot of bad theology inevitably surfaces when we face suffering. When people lose their faith because of suffering, it suggests a weak or nominal faith that didn’t account for or prepare them for evil and suffering. Any faith not based on the truth needs to be lost—the sooner, the better.

Suffering and evil exert a force that either pushes us away from God or pulls us toward Him. But if personal suffering gives sufficient evidence that God doesn’t exist, then surely I shouldn’t wait until I suffer to conclude He’s a myth. If my suffering would one day justify denying God, then I should deny Him now in light of other people’s suffering.

Believing that God exists is not the same as trusting the God who exists. A nominal Christian often discovers in suffering that his faith has been in his church, family, career, or social network, but not Christ. As he faces evil and suffering, he may find his beliefs shaken or even destroyed. But genuine faith—trusting God even when we don’t understand—will be made stronger and purer.

If your faith is based on lack of affliction, it’s on the brink of extinction and is only a frightening diagnosis or a shattering phone call away from collapse. Token faith will not survive suffering. Nor should it.

Thank you, Lord, for welcoming the honest cries of our hearts. Thank you for allowing us to ask, “Why?” It’s a gift to us that your prophets and King David asked, “Why,” and even your Son, Jesus, asked, “Why?” as he hung on a cross. But give us the grace and wisdom, Lord, to ask our questions while looking to your Word and to your Holy Spirit for answers.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Freedom and Comfort in Truth

As Nanci dealt with suffering and faced her death, I saw greater joy and more profound happiness in her than ever before. She had been happy in Jesus all our marriage, but great suffering is a big test. She didn’t merely pass it, she aced it. Sure, she had tough days where she longed for relief and release. But her light didn’t gradually go out; it shined brighter until the last week or so where it really did fade, as her eyes were looking at another world. A far better one.

In October 2018, Nanci wrote in her journal that she was “above all, eternally thankful for the incredible growth in my heart spiritually. I honestly would not trade this cancer experience to go back to where I was—which wasn’t bad. I believed and experienced God’s hand on my life before cancer. But these last months have been used by God to propel me into a deeper understanding and experience of His sovereignty, wisdom, steadfast love, mercy, grace, faithfulness, immanency, and trustworthiness and omnipotence.”

Nanci’s journals have so much Scripture and so much Charles Spurgeon woven into them, way more than personal details of her battle with cancer. In her own words, she expresses the depth of her trust in the love and sovereignty of God. She is a wonderful example of seeking comfort and perspective in God’s solid truth, just like I talk about in today’s blog, excerpted from 90 Days of God’s Goodness:

I am laid low in the dust;
preserve my life according to your word.
I recounted my ways and you answered me;
teach me your decrees.
Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;
then I will meditate on your wonders.
My soul is weary with sorrow;
strengthen me according to your word.
Keep me from deceitful ways;
be gracious to me through your law.
I have chosen the way of truth;
I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord;
do not let me be put to shame.
I run in the path of your commands,
for you have set my heart free.

—Psalm 119:25–32

Don’t you love the heartfelt honesty of the words God has chosen to include in the Bible? “My soul is weary with sorrow.” It’s the burden of life in a hurting world that causes the writer to turn to Scripture for strength: “Preserve my life according to your word.… Strengthen me according to your word.”

If abuse, rape, desertion, paralysis, debilitating disease, or the loss of a loved one has devastated you, then the issue of evil and suffering isn’t merely theoretical, philosophical, or theological. It’s deeply personal. Logical arguments won’t satisfy you; in fact, they might offend you. You need help with the emotional problem of evil, not merely the logical problem of evil. Like children at times, each of us must snuggle into our Father’s arms, and there receive the comfort we need.

But remember this: you are a whole person. Truth matters. To touch us at the heart level—and to keep touching us over days, months, years, and decades—truth must work its way into our minds.

Never seek comfort by ignoring truth. Comfort in falsehood is false comfort. Jesus said, “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32). When you try to soothe your feelings without bothering to think deeply about ideas, you are asking to be manipulated. Quick-fix feelings won’t sustain you over the long haul. On the other hand, deeply rooted beliefs—specifically a worldview grounded in Scripture—will allow you to persevere and hold on to a faith built on the solid rock of God’s truth.

In writing His magnificent story of redemption, God has revealed truths about Himself, us, the world, goodness, evil, suffering, and Heaven and Hell. (I capitalize those terms as proper nouns because they are actual places, like New England or Saturn.) Those truths God reveals to us teem with life. The blood of man and God flows through them. God speaks with passion, not indifference; He utters fascinating words, not dull ones. To come to grips with the problem of evil and suffering, you must do more than hear heart-wrenching stories about suffering people. You must hear God’s truth to help you interpret those stories.

The Bible reveals Him to be a great God, sovereign and all-powerful, gracious and all-good, kind and all-wise. And He is also our Abba, our Papa. But we do not always feel warmth and security, do we?

Maybe you’re holding on to years of bitterness and depression. You blame someone for your suffering—and that someone may be God. You will not find relief until you gain perspective. That perspective can be found as you meditate on His wonders and ask Him to use the truths of His revealed Word to strengthen you.

Lord, at times my heart is heavy with sorrow. This fallen world isn’t an easy place to live in. You know because you descended from Heaven’s happiness and lived here, laughed here, suffered here, and were crucified here. Thank you for living as you did and dying as you did and rising as you did so I can live forever with you and your people in a world where you will, once and for all, make all things right.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

A Happy Ending without an End

In light of Nanci’s departure to be with Jesus four weeks ago, a kind sister reached out to me, saying she was hoping and praying that I felt the closeness of Jesus. I told her that I do indeed sense His closeness. At the same time, grief and sometimes depression come upon me in waves. But they do not drive out Jesus or the Holy Spirit, both of whom indwell me (Romans 8:8-11).  Nor can they separate me from God the Father. In fact, “Neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

I am not simply claiming these things to be true—I normally believe them to be true and often am very aware of their reality. I learned years ago, when dealing with depression, that God not only is with me right in the middle of it, but I can sometimes, even often, sense His presence. The promises of Jesus are not mere casual reassurances; rather, they are blood-bought, guaranteed by His proven character and love. I can bank on them 100%. So can you.

Somehow when my old companion Depression visits me, I know in a special way, my Savior has entered into my world, understands me, accepts and loves me, and says, “See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands” (Isaiah 49:16). His engraving tools are the nails of a Carpenter.

It’s not that my grief and depression aren’t painful; it’s that my whole world, including all my weakness and shortcomings, is in His nail-scarred hands and under the governance of His grace. Why would I be surprised to suffer, when God promises us we will suffer? “Dear friends, don’t be surprised when the fiery ordeal comes among you to test you, as if something unusual were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). When you suffer don’t think, “God isn’t keeping His promises,” rather, think, “God is keeping His promise that I will suffer, and that He is right here with me in my suffering to accomplish His purposes for His glory and my good.”  

This past nine days, depression has intermingled with grief. I feel profound pain of loss, but I simultaneously feel that the One who has borne my grief and carried my sorrows is infinitely larger than my pain. So as real as the pain is, I feel no despair, no loss of hope, no distance from Him. He is not only my sovereign Maker, He is also my living Redeemer and ever-present Friend who will never—no never—desert me or forsake me. As I weep, I have been thinking about the flood of His tears, for His mother when He was on the cross, for Jerusalem that said no to His comfort, for His friends Lazarus and Mary and Martha. I am so amazed by Him, so deeply grateful. It makes me sad to think that those I know and loved took their lives because they could not see God inside their depression, but only outside. No virtue in me accounts for my awareness of His closeness, but only a kindness of God’s grace that I do not take for granted for a moment. It is hard enough to bear being without my Nanci. I cannot imagine what it would be like to think I was without my Creator and Redeemer and dearest Friend.

One thing that’s brought me joy is going through old photos to pick out some for Nanci’s memorial service. What wonderful memories. While I miss Nanci terribly, I am overwhelmed with the goodness of God for giving me such a wife and for what we were able to experience together in this life. I can’t wait for what is ahead of us in the presence of Christ. Nanci got a head start on me! I look forward to seeing her again and starting to catch up. Together, we’ll enjoy that happy ending that will never end.

The following is from my book 90 Days of God’s Goodness:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

—1 Peter 1:3–9

We are to rejoice in our inheritance in Heaven even as God sovereignly uses difficulties in our lives as a fire to refine, purify, and strengthen our faith.

I’ll never forget my first thirty seconds of high school. I walked in the front door, tripped, and fell on my face…right in front of three cheerleaders. They laughed hysterically. Not a good start for a freshman desperately wanting to be cool!

At the time, that incident hurt worse than my serious ankle injury while playing football. Yet over forty years later, even though I still remember it vividly, it brings me absolutely no pain. It just makes me laugh. Of course, my teenage troubles do not compare to having cancer, being tortured, or seeing a child die. I only mean that although certain experiences brought me genuine pain when they happened, with the passing of time and gaining of perspective, they no longer do.

If we sometimes recognize this in daily life, shouldn’t we suppose that many of our most painful ordeals will look quite different a million years from now, as we recall them on the New Earth? What if one day we discover that God wasted nothing in our life on Earth? What if we see that every agony was part of giving birth to an eternal joy?

I watched an interview with two families whose daughters, students atTaylorUniversity, suffered a terrible car accident in 2006. A truck hit a van head-on, killing five people.

At the accident scene, someone found Laura Van Ryn’s purse next to Whitney Cerak. Workers at the scene mistook the students, both blondes, for each other. Laura, misidentified as Whitney, was pronounced dead at the scene, while Whitney, misidentified as Laura, fought for her life on the way to the hospital. Some fourteen hundred people attended “Whitney’s” funeral, and her father spoke at the service. No one suspected that the body they buried that day was Laura Van Ryn’s.

For five weeks, the Ceraks believed their daughter had died, while the Van Ryns thought their daughter lived.

When this monumental error finally came to light, both families expressed faith in God. In one conversation, the Ceraks told the Van Ryns, “We are so sorry that we have the happy ending.” Don Van Ryn responded, “We do too…we just haven’t seen it yet.”

The Van Ryns await their reunion with Laura in a better world.

God promises that the eternal ending will break forth in such glorious happiness that all present suffering will pale in comparison. All who know Jesus will have a happy ending.

We just haven’t seen it yet.

Thank you, Lord, for valuing our faith in you so much that you test and strengthen it through adversity. Thank you for your promise of an unfading inheritance and that you are developing greater Christlikeness in us now that we may be better prepared to rule under you in the eternal kingdom. Though we aren’t there yet, we celebrate the fact that because of your grace, we will have a happy ending; one that will never end.

 

Conflict with a Purpose

It may seem strange to say this—I usually don’t look for comfort from my own books—but when I set out a copy of 90 Days of God’s Goodness for a friend in need, I wasal thinking about Nanci and palpably feeling her absence. So I picked up the nearest book even though I’d written it, and the next thing I knew God had really touched me through the first six entries. I’ll share them in a series of blogs over the next couple of weeks.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold intoEgypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.

“So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.…

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

—Genesis 45:4–8; 50:20

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before. All his brothers and sisters and everyone who had known him before…comforted and consoled him over all the trouble the Lord had brought upon him.…

The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.

—Job 42:10–12

While most of my books are nonfiction, I’ve written seven full-length novels. Now, if I were to write a novel about lives without conflict, where characters get everything they want, where life marches on comfortably and no one ever loses anything, nobody would read it. Who likes a boring story? In fact, my central characters always face great conflict, turmoil, uncertainty, and suffering. Some die. That it makes for a far better story is my main reason for doing this. (We enjoy in fiction much that we do not enjoy in life.)

So who am I to say that God shouldn’t write such things into His story, including my part?

In our lives God uses conflict not just to make the story better but to make us better. In life, not just literature, we repeatedly see that protection from conflict produces soft, spoiled, and selfish people, while enduring conflict is more likely to produce someone strong, capable, and caring.

If, in an interview with a character from one of my novels, you were to ask whether he’d like to be written out of the story, he would answer no. Nonexistence appeals to no one. Now ask him if he would like to suffer less, and he’ll answer yes. Who wouldn’t?

I empathize with my characters since I, too, am a character in God’s story. At times I’d love to take a break from the drama. Three months off without stress would feel nice. But I also realize I’m part of something great, far bigger than myself. And I trust God not only to bring the whole story together but also to do with my part of it what he knows to be best.

Given the option while facing his trials, I’m confident Joseph would have walked off the stage of God’s story. After betrayal by his brothers when he was a teenager and being sold into slavery and later falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife and sent to prison, Joseph had surely endured enough for one life!

Talk to Job in the middle of his story—with ten children dead and excruciating boils covering his body, God apparently abandoning him and friends haranguing him. Ask if he wants out. I know what he’d say because he said it: “Why did I not perish at birth?” (Job 3:11).

But that’s all over now. On the New Earth, sit by Job and Joseph at a lavish banquet with their Lord. Ask them, “Be honest. Was it really worth it?”

“Absolutely,” Job says. Joseph smiles, nodding emphatically.

“But, Job, had God given you the choice, wouldn’t you have walked out of the story?”

“In a heartbeat. I’m just glad he didn’t let me.”

You and I are characters in God’s story, handmade by Him. Every character serves a purpose. God loves a great story, and all of us who know Him will recall and celebrate and continue to live in that story for all eternity.

Before we fault Him for the plot twists we don’t like, we should remember that Jesus has written this story in His own blood.

Father, what a privilege to be chosen by you to be a character in the greatest story ever told—and to know that one day we’ll be able to read it start to finish. Thank you for this true, unfolding drama of redemption. Thank you that in the ages to come we will praise you for not letting us walk off the pages. Thank you for accomplishing the purposes in us that at first only you, the Author, understand, but in the end, looking back, we, the readers—and characters—will too.

Photo by Syd Wachs on Unsplash

Yes, Memorizing Scripture Is Possible, No Matter Your Age

Not long ago I shared this thought on Facebook:

When we copy Scripture and carry it with us throughout the day, reading it and memorizing it, we make God’s Word a part of us. As Paul said, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly” (Colossians 3:16).

We received some great responses about memorizing Scripture, and I’m sharing some of them here. I also appreciated the example of positive and encouraging interaction on social media:

Natalie: Yes! I was challenged to memorize the Book of James so I wrote it out and memorized it while walking dogs, walking on treadmill in winter and just wherever I was. I can say the whole thing although I have to practice, or I lose some of it. I'm 60 so age doesn't matter. God's Word is eternal.

Sandy: How many verses did you memorize at a time? Or did it vary? I’ve always wanted to do this with the Book of James…..and now I will.

Natalie: I just repeated the first section and then would add to it. The first chapter is long, so it took a while. Then I did the same with the second, always going back to the first also for a refresher. I've read that many Muslims memorize the Koran, which is very confusing and plagiarizes some Scripture, so we believers can certainly retain God's Word. The cool thing is in certain situations in my life, one of those verses will pop up inside to correct, teach, or assure me. You can do it! 

Sandy: Thank you for these suggestions….and your encouragement!

Terry: I’m working on memorizing Romans 8. My beloved late husband memorized it in 2017 after he had a major stroke at the age of 70, in order to keep his brain active and mostly to give hope to his spirit. Our son read it at his funeral three years later in December 2020. I was motivated to memorize it also, as a memorial to him and because it makes me feel closer to him (and to the Lord of course!), since he’s with the Word in Person now! I’m on verse 22. It’s hard but I persevere, writing it out often. I figure if my beloved accomplished this after a terrible and debilitating stroke, I am without excuse. I’m 67 years “young” BTW  )

I also know without a doubt that my dear husband left his family with a spiritual legacy more precious than fine gold. I’ve been able to use these verses often in ministering to others. And so, exponentially, Phil is continuing to reach people even though he is no longer present on this earth. It’s truly amazing! His works in life continue to bear fruit through his family. We surely do miss him and are looking forward to Heaven and the New Earth! (PS I work on this while at the gym as well. Folks must think I’m talking to myself  )

Natalie: What a wonderful testimony of a life well lived of your husband and how, as you say, he is still bearing fruit. You are as well! Praise Him. I am also a widow as of 1-27-21 and I also rejoice in KNOWING my husband is with the Lord. He came to the Lord late, two and a half years before his death, but he grew so much in those few years. It was wonderful to see who God had made him to be rather than the lost soul he was before. We rejoice in life and in death because we are His. Blessings to you and your family and your memorization. 

Terry: You know of course that now I am crying (which happens often these days  ) I truly feel your pain as well as your joy that we “sorrow not as those who have no hope” because we will all meet and you and I will have our loved ones with us for all eternity. Perhaps our husbands are discussing us together as we speak, who knows? 

For ideas to get you started, see You Can Memorize Scripture This Year.

Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash