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Saturday Morning Cereal: The Best of the Internet This Week

On the weekend we like to pour a little more cereal in your bowl. We hope you enjoy some reading from our regular contributors, some viral videos and other great finds from the internet. This is what we loved this week. Share your favorite articles and videos in the comments below.

The Best From Our Contributors

The Hemingway Effect by Brian Gardner

Brian is passionate about finding authenticity, especially in our lives online. This post is a convicting look at how we portray ourselves online, and why it matters.

What makes you come alive by Tsh Oxenreider

This post resonates with me. I have discovered the power of this practice. This week I wish for your the same thing that Tsh wishes for you in her wonderful post: that you notice the stirring inside.

Ruthless Turst by Pete Wilson

This simple post from Pete reminds us that we don’t always have the answers in life. We must learn that a part of growing means we will need to trust, and that lack of clarity may sometimes be a sign we are growing in trust.

The Best From Around The Web

Pope Francis Breaks Tradition and Stuns Thousands With Bold Move on The Blaze

I didn’t grow up in the Catholic tradition, and I am often intrigued by the traditions I observe. Something that has been amazing to see is how Pope Francis is making a new set of rules. I like this guy.

Decisions Are Dominos by Chris Brogan

Our decisions matter. And they ofter matter more than we think. This post is a great reminder that what we do has effects. We gain power over our lives when we can understand how our decisions make an impact.

Work/Life balance isn’t about balance. by Tyler Ward

Finding a balance between work and life is something I struggle with. This post is a helpful look at this problem many of us face.

The Best Viral Videos We Found

Last week, the baby bulldog won the majority vote. What about this week? Vote for your favorite below in the comments.

Saturday Morning Cereal: The Best of the Internet This Week is a post from: Storyline Blog

Why We Should Welcome Hard Times

Storms provide the United States over 50 percent of their rainfall, distributing water to plants, lakes, and reservoirs.

Winds from storms create life by distributing seeds and pollen while removing old and weak vegetation to make room for new growth.

When lightning strikes, it actually liberates nitrates that help fertilize the soil. Storm updrafts remove large amounts of pollution, while storm rainfall washes more pollution out of the air.

*Photo Credit: Brett Levin Photography, Creative Commons

Storms don’t just destroy. They heal. Maybe that’s why Louisa May Alcott, the author of “Little Women” once wrote, “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

When it comes to the storms that threaten our lives, most of us find ourselves scurrying and scattering in desperate attempts to manage, control, reduce, and contain them rather than face them head on. Why? Because we sometimes forget to see how the storm is helping us “sail our ship” better.

But if nature is any example, even the most brutal storm is faithful to create some form of beauty in the midst of the chaos it first met us in. What if every failure, setback, and raging storm you’re facing is actually making you a better sailor, preparing you for deeper waters, bigger ships, and the fullness of life? And that’s not just a nice idea….it is the truth.

Every storm we face is an opportunity to be better and braver on the other side. (Tweet This)

It gives us an unfair advantage in our own story. The rocky marriage, the struggling writing career, the fight through our addiction or the battle through our low self-esteem has given us a strength we would never have acquired in sunny weather.

There is something about the worn face of someone who has been through many a storm.

With every line, crease, and scar there is also a confidence, peacefulness, and wisdom. It’s the kind of face you see in an experienced captain, a cancer survivor, or a victim of human injustice.

It’s the face none of us want if we were truly honest. But it’s the kind of face that gives hope, which encourages others, that stands on the other side of the shore and cries out, in between deep gasps of breath, “We made it!”

Whatever the trial is, freedom is around the bend.

Set sail. Welcome the storm. Be not afraid.

Why We Should Welcome Hard Times is a post from: Storyline Blog

What Kind of People Follow Manipulators?

In Harriet Braiker’s book Who’s Pulling Your Strings? she teaches readers how to smell out manipulative people. That book, along with a few years studying the Enneagram have completely changed how I view the world. The leaders I choose to follow are much less dynamic and charismatic than they used to be.

In light of the mega-church scandals happening in which a couple dynamic pastors have been revealed as shady and deceptive, I’ve wondered how in the world people didn’t see it from the beginning? But of course I already know the answer to that question: It’s because the people who follow those pastors are so sweet and kind.

I mean that.

It takes a very nice person to follow a manipulator. Strong people smell out manipulation fast.

But recently I had a conversation with somebody who’d been seriously burned by a dynamic personality and they helped me see the whole situation in a different light. This person gave their lives to a dynamic leader but once they started asking questions, were chastised, slandered and threatened until they literally had to move to a different state. Because they’d signed a confidentiality agreement, they couldn’t tell their story. It was all pretty sad.

*Photo Credit: SarahDeer, Creative Commons

What was interesting to me, though, is my friend began reflecting on why in the world he’d fallen for the leader in the first place. His answer, amazingly, was that he realized he was codependent. He said he liked the affirmation he received from the leader and that this very powerful person had taken him under his wing.

What he never realized is that the leader hadn’t done that for free. Manipulative, dynamic leaders make an unspoken agreement with their followers. The agreement looks like this: If you submit to me, unquestioningly, I will give you security. Manipulative leaders paint a scary picture of the outside world to keep their flock close, then they use shame and guilt to keep them even closer. If you question them, you’re the enemy and they turn their followers on you.

This personality type isn’t exclusive to the church.

There are manipulative leaders in politics, in business and in all other aspects of life.

We will never get rid of manipulative leaders. But we can change ourselves.(tweet this)

Have we made an unspoken deal with a leader? Isn’t it true that those who love us the most are the ones who give us the most freedom to figure out if we want to love them back? Is the fear of leaving a leader the same as loyalty.

To somebody caught up in the unspoken deal they made with a manipulative leader, this blog will set off a firestorm of emotions. By suggesting a person can be free, I’m also stepping on their sense of security. These people have been trained to defend the manipulator at all cost. Likely, it won’t be till they see the other side of the manipulator, or are hurt by them personally that they will see the light. Hopefully, then, they’ll begin to ask themselves whether it’s something in them that needs to change.

What Kind of People Follow Manipulators? is a post from: Storyline Blog

What God Wants Us To Learn From Kids

Recently I asked a group of young parents to describe kids. We got the the easy adjectives out of the way first: fun, curious, innocent, sweet, full of life, and so on. But as a parent myself, I knew that was only half the truth, so I gave the group permission to tell the other side of the story too. Quickly we agreed kids can be exhausting, expensive, myopic, and sticky.

I asked if anyone had more disposable income, more free time, or less grey hair now than they did before they had kids, but no hands went up.

No one could make those claims, of course, because the truth is kids come at a cost to their parents. At the same time, none of the parents in the group wanted to go back to live without kids because they loved them and knew their life was better with the kids around.

Kids are great and hard. That’s okay. And that’s where I think God wants us to learn something.

Psalm 127 says children are a gift from God. Sit with that idea for a moment. If that’s true (and I believe it is) and if all the words we used to describe children are accurate (and I think they are) then we’re onto something really important.

*photo: Andrew Fysh, Creative Commons

Try as we might to resist shallow, binary thinking in matters of life and faith, we all fall into the trap now and then. Personally, I developed a habit of thinking of people and situations as either a gift or difficult and messy. Until a few years ago, it never even occurred to me something could be both, but I think that’s what God is showing us through these little bright-eyed object lessons we call kids.

In children we encounter gifts as both precious and persnickety, tender and trying, exhilarating and exasperating. In them, God is hinting to us that we’ve been tricked into thinking about gifts all wrong.

Contrary to what we’ve been taught in fairy tales and luxury car commercials, gifts aren’t golden tickets, magic potions, or easy streets.

Gifts are deeper, truer, and more transformative.

The best things in life are sometimes exhausting, costly, demanding of our attention, and sticky, but they’re still the best things.

About this time last year, my head was spinning. I’d started a new job in a new organization, and it was a struggle to keep up. I was dropping balls, forgetting names, and hoping no one noticed. Since that time I’ve found my footing, but this position still stretches me week after week. I’m still making mistakes and being pushed out of my comfort zone. It has been hard. And great. And exhausting. And life-giving.

The trick is I never found myself waiting for the job to stop being a challenge and start being a gift, in the same way I’m not waiting for my kids to stop being insane and start being gifts.

A few weeks ago, when a friend and I sat down to lunch, he asked how the first year in my new job had gone. “It wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t easy,” I said. “But it has been a gift.”

God is telling me the same thing over and over again. In so many ways he gives beautiful, challenging gifts in the form of people and experiences. And I’m starting to listen.

What God Wants Us To Learn From Kids is a post from: Storyline Blog

How I Learned The Power of a New Pair of Shoes

One Saturday back in 2001, I spent the morning shopping for a pair of sandals. I was 24 at the time, so vanity and appearance definitely played a part in my life decisions. I was on a hunt to buy the coolest, hippest pair no matter what the cost — because the way I looked mattered that much to me.

I ended up finding a pair that easily cost in excess of $100, and I was thrilled since I knew that I could show them off that evening at church.

During those days, I was heavily involved in a group at my church. We were going through a series about Jesus being radical, and that night Shane Claiborne was set to speak.

It was a typical evening of worship, and Shane talked about his time with Mother Theresa and his organization The Simple Way.

As the service winded down, I began to think of ways that we could spend the remainder of the evening

— out with friends, enjoying community and all the fun we’d have.

Daniel Hill stepped on stage and said that we were going to be doing something never done before.

Shane’s message was about living simple, so that others could simply live. He reminded us of the words Jesus spoke, “If you want to be the greatest, you must become the least.” He told stories of serving the poor, and helping those who had been marginalized in our society.

*photo credit: aaronisnotcool. Creative Commons

Daniel asked Shane what we, as a community, could do to make a difference. Shane talked about his encounters with the homeless, and how one of their greatest needs was footwear. Then he issued all of us a challenge to donate shoes of our own.

Not the “go home and bring back a pair whenever” kind of challenge.

It was literally a call to action to remove whatever pair we had on our feet right then and there and drop them into a box at the back of the auditorium.I thought to myself, “You have got to be kidding me. This is a joke, right? I just spent $150 this morning on a pair of sandals.”

The band started playing music, and I watched hundreds of people walk past me with shoes in hand. I was conflicted, and tried my best to make a deal with God. “How about I go home and get another pair? Or two pair?”

Then it hit me, and I immediately burst into tears. I was clinging to something that I could easily replace, at the expense of denying somebody who was in need.

God wanted my best, and wasn’t interested in my mediocre.

This was a test to see if, like Abraham, I would be willing to sacrifice. Then I remembered something Bill Hybels once said in a message — 95% devotion to God is 5% short.

That night we collected 700 pairs of shoes. Immediately after the service, we had vans of people go down to the inner city to pass them out to the homeless. What started out as a typical Saturday evening quickly became a night I’d never forget. It was a lesson I’ll never forget.

You might be wondering what I chose to do. I drove home that night with bare feet. Because that’s what Jesus would have done.

How I Learned The Power of a New Pair of Shoes is a post from: Storyline Blog

How Controlling People Use Fear To Manipulate

My favorite M. Night Shyamalan movie isn’t The Sixth Sense, it’s his lesser-known movie, The Village. I like it because it reminds me the stuff most people are afraid of in life isn’t worth fearing.

The story starts in a rural village in a time that seems a little confusing. There are no cars, no power tools, no electricity, and everybody’s clothes are hand made. There seem to be no roads into the village and no outside communication. As an audience, we assume the story takes place in the late 1800’s.

Regardless, we learn pretty quickly that there are creatures in the woods haunting the village. The elders in the village tell stories about the atrocities that have taken place when people have left, and indeed, some of the monsters circle around the village and scare the villagers at night.

*photo credit: Touchstone Pictures

At the end of the film we learn, though, the story isn’t taking place in the past, it’s happening in the here and now. Somebody escapes the village to find a chain-link fence and a guard tower. The monsters in the woods turned out to be elders in costume who were scaring their own in order to keep them safe from the outside world.

I think about that story often when I look back on my life.

I grew up in a church that taught us to be afraid of people who didn’t think the same as we did. Everybody “out there” was a monster, it seemed, from racial minorities to Catholics to liberal Democrats.

As I grew up, I left all that and discovered there wasn’t anything to fear at all. As a Republican, I served on a task force in the Obama administration and as a twenty-something spent a few years on the most “Godless college campus in America.”

I understand why my old tribe wanted me to fear the outside world. In part, they were trying to protect me. That’s sweet, I guess, but it’s still manipulative and deceptive. And I believe part of the reason they wanted us to fear was because they didn’t want us to go away. When you’re building a tribe, you have to send the elders out to scare the village every once in a while; otherwise, you’ll lose their support and “trust.”

Sadly, that’s the exact tactic that lost my trust.

Nobody likes to be manipulated or controlled except for unhealthy people who exchange their submission for supposed protection. But what happens when those people get healthy?

It’s not that there aren’t monsters in the world, there are. It’s just that there are just as many monsters inside the church as outside. It turns out there are deceivers and manipulators in every tribe, regardless of what that tribe believes or represents.

These days, I no longer think one group of people as healthy and another unhealthy. In fact, my community is no longer built around common beliefs; it’s built around common character. I want to be surrounded by the good guys, whether they are Christian, atheists, Democrats or Republicans. I don’t care. What I care about is whether or not they are true and good and humble and able to have safe, healthy relationships.

This, of course, is confusing for people who live in “the village” to understand.

They are so convinced that “other people” are unsafe they are no longer capable of reaching outside their own beliefs to establish relationships. I find this sad because they are missing out on a world of experiences and friendships and memories they could have if they only knew the truth, that there are as many monsters inside their village as outside.

I wonder what it would look like to accept people and trust them based on their character rather than the things we’ve been taught to fear? I’m heading more and more this direction, and I like it.

How Controlling People Use Fear To Manipulate is a post from: Storyline Blog

Sunday Morning Sermon — When We Realize Our Doubt is Beautiful

I have never met a Christian who hasn’t at some point had doubt about their faith.

I love the perspective Madeleine L’Engle shares in this video. When we are doubters, furious at God, we are actually close to Him. It is something I haven’t thought about much, and it isn’t something I have heard taught frequently.

Think about it though: A loving Father, who loves his children, pulling them close when they are in a fit. We cannot be furious with someone that isn’t real. And when we realize all of this, we can see that our doubt is actually beautiful.

Sunday Morning Sermon — When We Realize Our Doubt is Beautiful is a post from: Storyline Blog

Saturday Morning Cereal: The Best of the Internet This Week

On the weekend we pour a little more cereal in your bowl. We hope you enjoy some reading from our regular contributors, some viral videos and other great finds from the internet. This is what we loved this week. Share your favorite articles and videos in the comments below.

The Best From Our Contributors

The Habit of Change by Joshua Becker

A couple of years ago I read a great book called The Power of Habit. This article shares three great reads that reminded me of the message of the book and the power we hold in understanding how to change. When we invest into this change, we can discover great freedom.

How I Stopped Obsessing And Got My Life Back by Allison Vesterfelt

I like this article because I have seen the outcomes in real life. If you have trouble making decisions, this article is for you. There is some great practical thoughts here on overcoming fear of making wrong decisions.

Why I Love Thursday Nights by Shauna Niequist

Shauna makes me want to be a better person. I am always inspired when I see the community of people she has gathered in her life. Something powerful happens in community, especially community around a table. This community doesn’t need to be perfect to be meaningful.

The Best From Around The Web

Why Fred Phelps’ Death Isn’t a Cause for Celebration on Relevant Magazine

I have seen many people who have been hurt by the people of Westboro Baptist Church. This week their founder, Fred Phelps, died. This is article take a look at why, even though he and his church caused a lot of pain, we should not celebrate Phelps’ death

Moment Maker: You Can Live Your Life or It Will Live You by Carlos Whittaker

Our friend Carlos has a new book coming out on April 1, called Moment Maker. This week on his blog he is giving away a free copy of the first chapter. Check it out!

27 Sure Signs You Grew Up Evangelical on Buzzfeed

This is a funny and cute way to look at the church background I grew up in. How many of you can identify with this??

The Best Viral Videos We Found

Last week, the music therapy teacher won the majority vote. What about this week? Vote for your favorite below in the comments.

Saturday Morning Cereal: The Best of the Internet This Week is a post from: Storyline Blog

Refusing To Die Before Your Time

Recently my sons and I went to a soccer match in Upton Park, England (they call it football there). The game was between West Ham United and Arsenal. Arriving early, we enjoyed food from street vendors that would make a cardiologist weep.

Soon we made our way to our seats and, as the stadium filled, a man sat next to me. He was in his 60s, dressed warmly in a long, dark coat with a scarf around his neck. He looked toward the field with a blank stare.

*photo credit: Ronnie Macdonald, Creative Commons

When their team entered the field, the West Ham fans went wild, creating a deafening roar. In unison, they yelled their choruses and cheers, waving banners and flags. It felt like we were in a giant pub. Most everyone appeared buzzed from their pre-game beers, which only added to their exuberance.

There was one person, however, who wasn’t in on the excitement— my neighbor in the adjacent seat.

He neither stood nor cheered. He didn’t even blink. He stared forward — whether it was at the field or the back of someone’s coat.

West Ham scored first and the underdog fans exploded into a raucous frenzy, my sons and I joining in. My seat neighbor, however, remained still and silent. I was tempted to touch his cheek to be sure that Madame Trousseau hadn’t replaced him with a wax figure while I was in the men’s room.

This went on the entire game. Everyone was in on the fun, the cheers, the songs, and the yelling at the umpires. Everyone except him. And at the end of the game, he left quietly.

Later, my sons and I talked about the game and our great time there, and the man on our row.

We felt sad for him. While we didn’t know his story, he appeared to have lost the light in his eyes.

I was reminded of a quote attributed to Ben Franklin, “Most people die when they’re twenty-five but aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.”

I wondered about this man as a teenager. I’m certain he was alive then. And when he went to a West Ham game, he would have joined in the celebration. Had I been there, we’d have high-fived more than once. I’m sure of it.

But at some point, something happened. It may have been a sudden moment; perhaps it was over time. But one day, the lights turned off. I know many people who appear to have made that decision. They’re breathing and walking, but they’re not alive.

I’ve been there before. I imagine that you have too.

Years ago, a woman in her mid 40s named Nancy came to see me for counseling. As she sat down she said,

“I am a physician. I have terminal cancer and sometime within the next year or two, I will die. I am an insecure woman. I want to write. I want to paint. I want a better marriage. But I’ve been afraid to risk. I’m tired of that fear. Please help me. I want to live before I die.”

Two years later, I spoke at her funeral. Prior to her death, she had learned to paint, had written a book, and her marriage had turned around.

I don’t know about you, but like Nancy, I want to stay alive until the day I take my last breath.

Question: Is there some part of your life that has “died” that may need to be resurrected?

Refusing To Die Before Your Time is a post from: Storyline Blog

The Two Kinds of Heretics

For centuries the term heretic has been thrown around as an ace card by theologians and pastors and, lets face it, twenty something seminarians as though the term should stop us in our tracks.

The older I get, though, the more I see the term being used to defend territories of thought rather than to truly protect us from misguided interpretations of scripture. It’s become a term tribes use to defend their tribal security.

The problem is, the misuse of the term is causing us to stop thinking.

We believe in a 7-day creation because we interpret the Bible literally, when even many conservative theologians subscribe to a less literal interpretation of the first few chapters of Genesis which see it more as a story, a poetic grunt toward a God-created world, which would then jive with science and not make us all look so silly. But they won’t speak up for fear of being labeled a heretic? Really?

Who, then, is the heretic? Those who subscribe to a literal interpretation or those who interpret the Bible in a way that, quite obviously, it seems to have been written?

*Photo Credit: Oleh Slobodeniuk, Creative Commons

I’m not afraid of more objective, open interpretations of the Bible because it’s not a book that’s easy to interpret (by God’s intention) because, in my opinion, it’s meant to point us toward Him rather than replace Him. Those who want to put concrete faith in a book rather than (or in addition to) a God want it to be, perhaps, more definitive than it is.

Regardless, though, the term heretic, as of late, has been captured by the more conservative crowd and used to shame, create fear and so on. Same old tricks.

But I actually see 2 kinds of heretics milling about:

Liberal Heretics: These are the people who scan scripture and interpret it through a people-pleasing filter, looking the other way when it gets too demanding.

Conservative Heretics: These are the people who scan scripture and interpret it through a people-controlling filter. They add rules to the text to test people’s loyalty and devotion and use shame and guilt to keep them afraid.

It’s frustrating to me that people who add rules to the Bible aren’t labeled as heretics, too. Or those who interpret things literally that simply shouldn’t be interpreted literally. Or those who, when a subject is vague, present concrete answers as though God has made the issue perfectly black and white. Why aren’t these heretics, too?

The Bible is a mysterious document intentionally written in a style difficult to interpret and contextualize. Certainly there are absolutes, but there are far fewer absolutes than we’re led to believe. What we’re forced with, then, is a need for faith, an existing bit of mystery and a humbling thought that perhaps, as G.K. Chesterton once said, we won’t be able to cram all of heaven into our heads.

I’ll cling to Jesus and try my best.

The Two Kinds of Heretics is a post from: Storyline Blog