Donald Miller's Blog, page 47

What Are the 3 Things You Want to Finish This Year?

Today is the final day in my series “Start Life Over.” I hope you’ve loved it. Once again, if you want to download the entire series as a PDF and share it with friends, you can do so here. Feel free to e-mail it to anybody you want. Send it to your entire office, your church, or even your pets.

This last principle was the hardest for me to learn but perhaps the most powerful in helping me get things done.

The fifth and final principle is this: I can only do three big things in a year.

That’s it. Just three.

Most people I know who aren’t having much of an impact in the world suffer from one of two problems. Either they don’t know what they want to do or they are trying to do too much.

I’ve never really had trouble knowing what I’ve wanted to do, but I’ve had tons of trouble trying to do too much.

And this is a problem.

I used to think that’s just how life is. It gets busy. Responsibilities get piled on. And the more I believed that, the worse my life got. Something had to change.

Warren Buffet said, “The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

The key here is learning to let go of great opportunities to take advantage of even better opportunities. Once life starts flowing and you start succeeding the opportunities pile on. And people want something from you. But here’s the deal, you can either get a little bit done on a lot of projects or you can finish a few of them and change the world.

I’ve turned down many opportunities.

They are opportunities to endorse books, write forwards, do television interviews, serve on boards of directors, speak overseas and on and on, and I rejected them all gladly because if I did those things I’d have lost the ability to do something else.

These days, I give myself 3 big projects each year, and I intend to finish them. This year I’ll write another book, come out with an online course teaching people how to brand their companies using story, and I’ll release a series helping people live a better story. That’s it. I can’t do anything more than that.

This all sounds arrogant and harsh, and I suppose it is. I get my feathers up about it because people can be quite demanding. Tim, the guy who runs my company, just sent me an email from the head of a non-profit who guilted and shamed us for not endorsing a book her non-profit is releasing.

She explained why we owed them something.

The e-mail made me angry, to be honest. I know she’s doing great work, but she also knows the value of focus. She was focused and determined, but she didn’t care whether or not we got off focus.

Picking three major things to do this year, whether it’s as fun as having the best family vacation ever or as big as starting a new business, will change your year. It may also ruffle some feathers. But we can’t do big things if we’re distracted. And you don’t really owe anybody anything. If you break focus for a second to help with something, that’s an awesome gift to them but make sure to know it came at a cost.

This last post will likely get the most negative feedback. It sounds like I’m saying that you should only focus on yourself. But that’s not what I mean at all. My hope is those three things you’re going to create will be beautiful and will help tons of people. They’re important. In fact, it might even be selfish of you not to focus on them.

Each day I fill out a one-page planner.

It’s a tool I created that has massively boosted my productivity. On that planner, I’ve got a to-do list that is full of stuff I need to get done, but the big part of the page asks me to write down the three projects I’ll allow myself to work on that day. My mind can really only focus on three. After that I’m toast.

I know you can do this. I’ve not met anybody yet who didn’t have incredible potential in them. It will require focus and you’ll have to say no to enormous and fun opportunities. But your work is important. The change you’ll bring to the world may benefit thousands.

This has been a fun series to write. I hadn’t realized how much these ideas have changed my life until I wrote them all down. Good stuff. I’m hoping Storyline can help thousands of people do thousands of big, life-changing things this year. Can’t wait to hear the stories.

If you want more help changing, you’ve only got a few days left to pick up Creating Your Life Plan before it goes away forever. And if you’d like more help, explore Michael Hyatt’s new program called 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. Every hero needs a guide. Choose one today and get on with your story!

What Are the 3 Things You Want to Finish This Year? is a post from: Storyline Blog

Why You Can’t Be Friends with That Guy

I’m continuing my series called Start Life Over today. The series is about the real way people change. People don’t change by believing in hokey formulas; they change because they experience and understand serious, foundational paradigm shifts.

If you want to download the entire series in which I explain these shifts in a PDF, just click here. Otherwise, we’ll continue with the fourth principle.

The fourth principle is this: You will become like the people you hang out with.

If you’ve ever attended Storyline Conference or if you’ve already purchased Creating Your Life Plan, you know this is one of my core beliefs.

And it’s not just a belief.

It’s a fact. You are more than what you eat, how much you exercise, or how much sleep you get. You are a conglomerate of the people you hang out with.

I have a friend who runs a small business and is just now experiencing a great deal of success. His team is great, but there’s one guy I’ve noticed my friend has trouble with. When I asked him about it, he said dealing with the guy was like dealing with a 7-year old.

“Why do you keep him around?” I asked.

He told me he needed him, that he was sure his ideas were valuable. I told him what I’d tell anybody: Let him go. He’s going to corrupt your entire culture. Pretty soon you’ll have other team members taking on his characteristics.

My friend listened.

But he ultimately didn’t take my advice. Or at least he didn’t for six more months. He finally let him go when he just couldn’t take it anymore. The guy was causing too many divisions and spreading a negative culture.

Photo Credit: Mikaela Hamilton

These days, my friend’s company sings right along and he hardly even misses the guy. Isn’t it funny how much we think we need certain people when the reality is we really don’t? Often, we’d be better off without them.

One bad egg will make your life miserable. And worse, eventually you’ll become like them. If you hang out with bitter people, you’ll get bitter yourself. And the sure way to become a cynic is to hang out with cynical people. Want a Darwinian, cut-throat view of life? Just hang out with sharks.

Every once in a while I get some pushback on this idea.

Shouldn’t we be gracious and forgiving?

And my answer is yes. But what does being gracious and forgiving have to do with selling your soul? And if you’re people pleasing your way into relationships that are negatively affecting you, you’re definitely compromising your soul.

The idea isn’t that we’re viewing ourselves as better than others; the idea is that we’re protecting ourselves from becoming somebody we don’t want to become.

When Jesus talks with the rich young ruler, he explains the rules, grieves the ruler’s decision not to become like Him, and walks away. He doesn’t misappropriate grace by joining the ruler and forfeiting His mission in life.

Who do you want to be?

Do you want to be kind, smart, authentic, vulnerable, wise, and disciplined? If so, find people like that and spend a lot of time with them because that’s exactly what you will become.

Some of us pay more attention to what we eat than we do to who we’re eating with. The reality is, the latter has a more dramatic affect on the quality of our lives.

Now this gets complicated in a couple ways. The first is, well, there are certain people you can’t get away from. Perhaps your coworkers (though you really could quit if you had to) or maybe your spouse. These situations really stink.

In this case, putting up some boundaries would be great.

And while hard, it’s really doable.

Just refuse to become whoever it is they are. In time, you might even have a positive affect on them. After all, they’re also becoming a lot like you.

The second way this gets complicated is that it’s contextual. What I mean is, certain people have more strength than others.

If I’m around a really selfish person, I’ll become like them too easily. I have to keep my distance. I have friends, though, who are way less impressionable. They can stay in those relationships longer and not be affected. So our levels of tolerance vary from person to person.

The idea remains the same, though.

We can be way more proactive in choosing who we spend time with and this will make all the difference. Are there relationships you need to let go of? Are there new people you need to intentionally get time with? Let’s make some changes in who we hang out with and watch how powerfully we begin to change ourselves.

Tomorrow, the final principle in Start Life Over. I’ve enjoyed this series so far and I hope you have too!

If you want more help changing, you’ve only got one week left to pick up Creating Your Life Plan before it goes away forever. And if you’d like more help, explore Michael Hyatt’s new program called 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. Every hero needs a guide. Choose one today and get on with your story!

Why You Can’t Be Friends with That Guy is a post from: Storyline Blog

Starting Life Over Means Learning When to Quit

I’m continuing my Start Life Over series today. The series is about the underpinning beliefs we all need to have to really change. If you want to download the entire series as a PDF, just click here. Otherwise, here we go!

The third principle of the series is this: Sometimes it’s okay to quit.

If you don’t have today off, you’re likely bored at work. Certainly not all of you, but studies show more than 50% of Americans are not inspired by their jobs. This really stinks. All that college tuition, all those hours searching and hoping for a job that fulfills us have come to this. Boredom.

I’ve been there.

I used to work at a company where I’d take an extra lap around the parking lot even though there were plenty of empty spaces, just because I didn’t want to go inside. And once inside, I’d waste time. But the horrible part wasn’t the wasting time, it was the guilt I felt because I was wasting time.

Photo Credit: Mikaela Hamilton

So what can be done? What do we do if we don’t like our jobs? Or for that matter, what do we do if we don’t like our lives?

My friend Bob Goff tries to quit something every Thursday. Most of the time it’s small stuff, like biting his nails and stuff. But sometimes it’s big stuff. He’s actually resigned from Boards because it was a Thursday.

The idea is twofold: 1. Get rid of anything that doesn’t need to be in your life and 2. Realize you don’t have to be stuck in a rut.

You can quit things.

If you’re in a dating relationship that’s been killing you, quit. If you aren’t happy with that small group you’ve been meeting with, quit. It’s not like you’re quitting your spouse or God, you’re just living out the God-given reality you’ve got choices and are completely allowed to make them.

And if you’re really bold, you can even quit your job. I know it sounds crazy and there are all sorts of reasons we should stay. We have to feed our children. We have to make our mortgage payments. But wouldn’t you just love to quit? Wouldn’t you love to wake up, perhaps a month from now, and love your work instead of being so bored?

Warren Buffet says the secret to successful people is they have learned to say no to almost everything. They aren’t people who go around seeking security. They seek the big life.

And because they seek it, they get it.

I had a friend years ago who hated his job. He complained all the time about his associates and his boss. That didn’t bother me too much, but one day when he was talking about his son, who also hated his job, he said “you know what my boy needs to learn? He needs to learn that everybody hates their job. They’re supposed to hate their job. Working isn’t supposed to be fun; that’s in the Bible.”

I stood there taken aback. I completely disagreed with him. I loved my job. And the Bible said work would be hard, not that it was supposed to be miserable.

Here’s something I’ve learned over the years. People who are willing to wait for what they want have a much higher percentage chance of enjoying life in the long run. And those who choose security over passion have a much higher chance of not enjoying life.

Now I’ve likely offended most of the people reading this. And I apologize for that. God knows I’m not asking all of you to quit your jobs. That’s a big step.

But do we really have to settle?

I mean were you really created to be born, be bored, then be buried? Is that what God had in mind?

Ask yourself this: how many decisions are you making because you want security? And how’s that going for you? What’s one thing you can do to make your life more passionate and enjoyable? If you did that thing, what would be the next thing that would make life more passionate and enjoyable? And then what’s the thing after that?

What if, by the end of 2015, you were doing something in your life you didn’t hate? Something that didn’t make you bored? What if?

Starting Life Over Means Learning When to Quit is a post from: Storyline Blog

You Are in a Relationship with Yourself; Make It a Healthy One

Today I continue my series called Start Life Over. If you missed yesterday, just click “previous” below or you can go ahead and download the entire series as a PDF for free here.

The idea behind the series is that together we’d experience our most meaningful year yet. To do this, I want to focus on the 5 most powerful principles I’ve learned that have helped me create more meaning in my life and actually experience serious, monumental change.

The second principle is this: You are in a relationship with yourself. Make it a healthy one.

This one is a little complicated, but I promise it will make sense by the end of this blog. And it’s the most powerful idea I’ve ever come to understand.

First, though, I have to confess something.

I’m very driven by other people’s approval of me. I mean if somebody doesn’t like me or think I did a good job, it hurts. I feel like a loser. Mostly I sense this passively, like I just get angry or hurt or something. I’m not often willing to admit they’re affecting me, but on an honest day I’ll tell you the truth: Other people’s opinions mean a lot to me. In fact, they have the power to name me, to tell me who I am.

Photo Credit: Mikaela Hamilton

As I’ve grown older and read more and more about psychology, I’ve realized that, in part, this is by design. We really do shape our opinions about ourselves, in large part, through the opinions of others. It’s as though we wear certain clothes and act a certain way and try to succeed at things so other people will tell us we are good or valuable. And when they do, we feel a little better about ourselves and when they don’t, we start thinking we are losers.

But one day I had a dramatic realization.

I spent a few hours with a friend I have a great deal of respect for. He’s the kind of guy I’d really like to be. He’s kind, productive, generous, humble, super disciplined, and respectable. He almost always wears a nice suit but is never snooty (not that that matters, but it’s kind of cool, right?).

Well, later that night I caught myself disrespecting myself a little bit. Just being overly critical. And then it hit me.

I’m in a relationship with myself.

I know that sounds a little odd, but if you think about it, we really do operate like two people. We are a person who lives and breathes and does things; then we are another person who judges ourselves. It’s as though we have a critic in our brain.

Now some people’s critics are too harsh and judgmental, for sure. And that’s a whole other issue, perhaps one that needs counseling. (That’s not a knock. I’ve spent hours in counseling.)

Then I had another major epiphany.

And it was this: The reason I respect my friend so much is because he does respectful things. I mean he’s disciplined and considerate and generous and kind and, well, he doesn’t look like a slob.

So I began to wonder, if I do more respectful things, perform more generous actions and, well, dress a little better, will I actually have a little more self respect? In other words, because I’m in a relationship with myself, maybe I should act in such a way that my “self” could respect my “self” a little more.

And it worked. I would find myself wanting to eat a half gallon of ice cream while watching television and I asked myself “if you skipped this, would you have a little more respect for yourself?” and the truth is I would. So I skipped it. And I had much more self respect.

I liked myself more.

This sort of thing translated into a whole host of other areas of my life. I started holding my tongue a little more and found I respected myself more when I was more thoughtful in conversation. I found myself less willing to people please because, well, people who people please aren’t as respectable, right?

Here’s another thing I realized: Human beings aren’t really motivated by goals; they’re motivated by character transformation.

Every story that we love is about a character that doubts himself or herself in the beginning and believes in himself or herself at the end. The most powerful stories are about people who learn something about themselves that changes their identity for the better.

The reason I bring this up is because when you dangle the carrot of “I will respect you more if you make a better decision here” in front of your nose, it’s incredibly motivating.

We all want to be loved.

We all want to feel approval. So why not get into a healthy relationship with yourself where you do respectable things to earn your own respect?

I’ve noticed the people I admire the most are the people who respect themselves, who have standards that seem to have little to do with the opinions of others and much to do with their opinion of themselves.

When we rely on the opinion of others to shape us, we’re getting into dangerous territory. The reality is it’s a competitive and fallen world. People mean well and are often very nice, but we’re all competing for some kind of social validation that we wrongly believe is scarce.

So the idea that another person’s view of you will be objective is unlikely. People will view you through the filter that benefits them the best. That’s why it’s so important to have a great relationship with yourself.

It’s important to be objective.

As it is to be fair and to do the things that help you respect yourself and create your own sense of self worth.

I’d confuse people if I didn’t mention that God is the one who ultimately names us and gives us our worth. Certainly this is true. It’s true at our core, soul level. But we are much more relational than that. Ultimately our relationships with ourselves and with others has dramatic sway.

Perhaps this is because of the fall of man, I’m not sure. But I do know that nobody I know is not affected by the opinions they have of themselves or the opinions they receive of others. It’s powerful, powerful stuff and for that reason, I’d rather us filter those opinions so they’re based on fact and are fair and objective. And you’re the best person to do that in your own life.

So, in summary:

People are deeply motivated by the potential transformation of how they see themselves.
The opinions of others can be nice, but they’re hardly objective.
You are in a relationship with yourself and your opinion of yourself can help transform you.
You’ll respect yourself a lot more if you do respectful things.

That’s it for Day 2.

This one was heavy, but it’s powerful stuff.

If you really want to change who you are on the deepest level, start listening to that voice inside you and start earning its respect by doing respectful things. You’d be surprised at how fair and balanced you actually are when you change your decisions so that your “self” can start to respect your “self.”

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about the incredible power of quitting!

If you want more help changing, you’ve only got one week left to pick up Creating Your Life Plan before it goes away forever. And if you’d like more help, explore Michael Hyatt’s new program called 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. Every hero needs a guide. Choose one today and get on with your story!

You Are in a Relationship with Yourself; Make It a Healthy One is a post from: Storyline Blog

Why Refusing to Change is Killing You

This week I’m starting my series called Start Life Over. In the series, I’ll talk about 5 things necessary to re-start our lives. The hope is that, together, we can have the most meaningful year we’ve ever had.

In the series, I’ll go through the 5 principles I learned that helped me lose a ton of weight, grow my company and even get married. I’ve never been helped by trite goals or feel-good formulas. It was the big paradigm shifts that helped me create a framework for change.

The first principle is this: You were designed to change.

Last year, I wrote a blog about how I’m glad I’m not the same person I was when I wrote Blue Like Jazz.

For those of you who don’t know my writing, Blue was my first breakthrough book. I wrote it in my late twenties and it spent many weeks on various bestseller lists. That said, when I wrote the book I was 150 pounds heavier, lonely, codependent and emotionally isolated.

I only say that because over the years my writing has changed. Hopefully I’m still vulnerable, but I’m not as messed up as I used to be.

And you know what’s strange?

People miss the old, messed up me. They say, “I miss the old Don.” Well, I have to tell you, I don’t. Things that stay the same aren’t healthy.

These days life isn’t perfect, but it’s a heck of a lot better. I’m down 150 pounds, I’ve built an amazing community and my business has quadrupled. I even got married. I’ve changed. And I’m glad.

For years, though, it was hard for me to change. And one of the main reasons (there are 5) I couldn’t improve my life was because I didn’t realize I actually could change. I thought people were just people and we were stuck as we were.

But that was a lie.

Here’s a principle that has everything to do with becoming somebody different: Every healthy thing God created changes.

If something doesn’t change it’s dead. God designed the world so that it is in constant motion, never sitting still, always dying and being reborn. Everything is changing, all the time. Even you.

Physically, you will regenerate several times before you die. The skin you have now will not be the same skin you have in 7 years. What this means for us is we get to let go of the mistakes we’ve made in the past. We also get to let go of the identity other people want to trap us in. We get to change.

We get to become somebody different.

One of the ways God encourages us to change is by constantly starting things over.

He created you to sleep, so every night you lie down and go into an odd kind of coma for about 8 hours and then you wake up and start another day. Think of it like a do-over. And it’s not only you. The whole earth is starting over every morning.

And it’s not only days that start over, it’s the seasons, too. Soon it will be spring, again, for the millionth time. But it will be all new to us. And then summer and then winter, always changing, always starting over, always inviting us to do the same.

I meet people occasionally who think of themselves the way I used to think of myself when I was so unhealthy.

They think of themselves as fixed beings.

That is, beings who cannot change. But this is a lie. We can change and were designed to change. Still, though, even if I can convince them they were designed to change (as is obvious) then they believe change is hard.

Really? Why should something so natural, so ingrained in our design be hard?

One of the most freeing realizations I’ve ever had is that I was designed to change. Once I realized that, I was able to let go of the old me so the new me could get created. I didn’t have to be scared, lazy, or controlled by fear anymore. That me could die away and a new me could start growing out of the ashes. I could be somebody different.

Of course nobody changes over night.

But nobody changes at all if they don’t believe they’re supposed to.

So here’s the question: Do you believe you were designed to change? And if so, what’s stopping you? I mean that literally; what’s stopping you from changing?

In the next entry, I’ll talk about the second thing I believe stops us from changing and what we can do about it.

For now, let’s start the year by meditating on the idea we are all designed to change. At the end of 2015, none of us have to be the same person we are now.

That’s not what we were designed to do. I’ve changed, and I’m glad. God thinks it’s okay for you to change, too.

If you want more help changing, you’ve only got one week left to pick up Creating Your Life Plan before it goes away forever. And if you’d like more help, explore Michael Hyatt’s new program called 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. Every hero needs a guide. Choose one today and get on with your story!

Why Refusing to Change is Killing You is a post from: Storyline Blog

Start Life Over, Reminder

Just a reminder that my blog series Start Life Over begins on Monday. I hope you take the time to read it and reflect on the ideas each day. Each of the ideas were monumental in helping me make serious changes and experience a completely different life than I had only a few years ago.

The Start Life Over series is also available as a PDF download for free, right now. I’d love for you to have it. Just click here. We’re serious about helping you find the resources that will make the coming year truly amazing.

I know how it feels to kiss goodbye to a previous year, let down that it didn’t work out or feeling like it passed without much meaning. And I also know how it feels to look back and say, wow, that was my best year ever. For me, change came when I started to see the world differently, to own the fact God has given me shared agency in creating a better life. We’re growing our tribe of people committed to making their life experience much, much better.

Besides the free Start Life Over series, we’ve got some incredible resources to help you get serious about taking back your life.

CREATING YOUR LIFE PLAN

Thousands of you have already gone through our Creating Your Life Plan series as a step in taking ownership of your life. If you’ve not, it’s being closed out and is available now at the best price ever. Creating Your Life Plan for $39.95. It normally sells for $79.95, so this is a great deal. The course goes away on January 13th and you won’t be able to get it again.

5 DAYS TO YOUR BEST YEAR EVER

And if you want even more help, I’m recommending Michael Hyatt’s program 5 Days to Your Best Year Ever. Mike is a dear friend and mentor who has helped me immensely. He may be the most productive, focused person I’ve ever met. And in his series he shares the principles he’s learned that have helped him carve out a meaningful, productive life. Highly recommended. You can learn more about Mike’s program here.

I’m doing everything I can to make 2015 the most meaningful year of my life. But nothing is enjoyable unless it’s shared. Let’s go on this journey together. Can’t wait for next week.

Sincerely,

Donald Miller

Start Life Over, Reminder is a post from: Storyline Blog

How to Forget About 2014

For me, 2014 was one of the greatest years of my life. I got married just after Thanksgiving in 2013, so the new year started with a wife, a new city, and a new home. It was an incredible time and it felt very much like I was starting life over.

Betsy would tell you that her favorite part of last year wasn’t the wedding or the new city or the house or any of it. She’d say it was about three months in when she realized the other shoe wasn’t going to drop. Life, indeed, could be enjoyable and fun.

For me, it wasn’t always that way, though.

It’s hard to believe that just a couple years before Betsy and I got married, life was a complete mess. I remember not-so-fondly coming to the end of 2011 and being grateful the year was over. I’d lost almost everything in an insecure financial investment, was alone, confused, and behind a deadline on a book.

Some years are better than others.

I’m writing to let you know if you had a bad year, things can and likely will get better. Much better.

Not long ago I interviewed the owners of Canlis Restaurant, a fine-dining restaurant on the west coast. The restaurant has won 17 consecutive Grand Awards from Wine Spectator Magazine and is considered one of the best restaurants in America. The owners are brothers, Mark and Brian Canlis, and the third generation in their family to run the restaurant.

And they’re continuing a legacy.

Canlis has been at the top of the fine-dining scene for 64 years.

When I asked what the secret was, the answer they gave that caught my interest most was “change.” They said they knew how and when to change. Mark and Brian said life should be viewed similarly to how we look through the windshield of a car. They said the windshield is much larger than the rearview mirror.

Photo Credit: Mikaela Hamilton

People who spend too much time looking back at their failures tend to repeat them. Mark and Brian’s advice was this:

Keep looking forward.

Know where you’re going and steer the car toward something new and exciting. And you can’t do that if you’re always looking in the rear-view mirror.

As I’ve already mentioned, next week I’m going to post a blog series called Start Life Over. The series will start this coming Monday and reflect on 5 things every person needs to know if they want to start their lives again.

We all get tons of advice this time of year. But this isn’t advice. These are the 5 paradigm shifts I’ve encountered that have changed the way I’ve viewed my life. I’ve never shared them before. At least not in one place.

Read the blog each day, will you? We’re growing the Storyline family by inviting more and more people to completely change their story and live out of their strengths and passions. We want you to come with us.

If you don’t think you’ll remember come Monday morning, I’m offering the entire series as a free PDF right now. The whole series. Download it and pass it around. Let’s explore these ideas together.

If you want more help planning an incredible year, I’m offering a close-out sale on my online course Creating Your Life Plan.

On January 13th, that course goes away.

You won’t be able to get it again so this is your last chance to plan a better life using this resource. The price is an all-time low of $39.95. If you’ve not taken the course, now’s a great time to start. People have loved it.

We hope you enjoy the Start Life Over series. If you’d like to read it all at once, here’s the PDF now. To get the deal on the life plan, click here.

Can’t wait for 2015! See you back on Monday.

How to Forget About 2014 is a post from: Storyline Blog

Start Life Over

Not long ago I was interviewed by The Washington Post, and as the journalist walked into my office he was taken aback. I introduced him to Cadence, our full-time writer, then our customer experience director, Kyle, then our art director (another Kyle), and finally to Tim, who runs my company. As we made our way back to my personal office, he mentioned he was somewhat surprised.

“I thought you were a wandering vagabond. I mean, you don’t come off as a business guy in your books.”

I laughed.

I wasn’t sure how to explain. I said that in my heart I’m a wandering vagabond, I guess. I mean I see the world as a wide-open playground. But years ago I realized the only way to change the world was to make plans and execute them. And I really wanted to change the world. So I put together a team that I love and we wake up every day and take action.

A bi-product of being more focused and on task, I found out, was personal health. I lost weight, got better at relationships, and experienced less boredom and depression. I’m convinced human beings were not designed to stare into their belly buttons and think about life. They were designed to live life.

Back when I sat around and let life happen to me, I was sad, isolated, and way too focused on myself and my problems. I’ve no desire to go back.

The conversation got me thinking, though.

My life really has changed. I mean it’s gotten way better. I’ve written a lot of books, built a successful conference company, spun off a phenomenally successful brand strategy process, and even gotten married. So what in the world happened to me?

What I realized was there were 5 basic ideas I discovered over the years that allowed me to change. And amazingly, I’d not shared these ideas with anybody. And they’re really good. I mean, they worked for me. It’s like I got to start my life completely over.

Next week I’m posting a blog series on each of the 5 ideas we need to understand to start life over. Naturally, the series is called Start Life Over.

And I think you’re going to enjoy it.

I know some of you will forget, so I’ve asked our art director (Kyle) to turn it into a PDF you can download for free, right now. I don’t even want your email address. I’d just love for you to read it and experience a little bit of the changes I’ve experienced.

I’m grateful to have discovered these ideas and even more grateful they’ve worked to make my life a lot better.

Of course nothing is perfect.

But change is possible if we’re willing.

If you’re thinking “nothing is for free” you’re right. When you download the PDF, there will be an ad in the booklet for our course Creating Your Life Plan. But that’s all it is, just an ad. We’re closing it out and registrations will no longer be accepted. People have raved about it. If you really want to make serious changes this year, register for the course and take it at your own pace. It’s a great time of year to start thinking about making serious changes.

I couldn’t be more excited about the new year. We’ve got some incredible new stuff coming out. You’re going to love it. Until then, let’s start life over.

Best to you in the new year,

Donald Miller

Start Life Over is a post from: Storyline Blog

The Smell of Hope

Now and then, someone will tell me a story that I can’t shake. My mind plays with it, turning it over and over until something grows out of it. Here is one such story.

It was the backcountry of Alaska. My friend and a buddy had killed an elk. Because fresh kills attract bears, they had to clean their prize quickly. Taking all the meat they could from the large animal, they retreated to their camp on the rise of an adjacent hill.

In the distance, one of the men saw movement.

Then a flash of color.

A fox’s thick orange coat stood out against the white backdrop while she foraged for food. As she got closer, the fox appeared quite gaunt, evident that unlike her observers, her hunting season had not been a good one.

Photo Credit: satoshi sawada

The hunters watched as the fox continued her desperate search, nose close to the ground. Perhaps she was looking for food to bring back to her young, or maybe she just needed a little nourishment herself.

As her search continued, she was moving in the general direction of the elk. Suddenly, she stopped, her nose lifted high in the air.

She stood motionless.

She moved her head slightly, like the needle on a compass settling in on true north. And then, like a racehorse out of a gate, she sprinted in the direction of the elk, kicking the snow up behind her. As she got closer, she stopped again, reset the compass, and took off.

The hunters were cheering by now, rooting on this little orange ball of hope deferred as if it were their own unrealized dreams they were cheering on.

Closer and closer she came until the elk was in her view. Her pace slowed to a crawl as she began to creep toward it in a careful, tentative movement.

She nosed her way closer and closer.

Finally, her paw touched the elk’s leg to see if it was asleep, and then abruptly backed up, preparing to run. She touched it again and finally knew it was not alive. Moving towards its underbelly, she pressed her nose against it. And then, through a flap of skin and fur, she entered into the cavernous ribcage of the elk, disappearing from view. All was quiet for a few moments.

Then, she burst out of the carcass like fireworks on the Fourth of July! Bright red with fresh blood, she bounded onto the snow and began doing flips of delight. With a high-pitched bark, she rolled and flipped and rolled and flipped.

She re-entered the elk.

Only to blast out again, repeating her dance of ecstasy. The snow was dotted with red, a signature of her glee.

For the rest of the day, they watched her going back and forth from her treasure to her distant den. Back and forth. Back and forth. And now and then, she’d repeat her dance. Each time, she took a mouthful of meat, gleaned from the inside of the elk, and headed home. Tirelessly, she repeated the trip until the sun began to set.

Somewhere that night, I imagine a happy fox in a warm den. Satisfied. Relieved.

Hopeful.

I wonder how she communicated to her pups about the day?

About how they were provided for. About the lonely, desperate search. About the 11th hour. About how you wonder if you are going to make it. About how, when you are on your last leg, there is something in the air that tells you to keep going and so you keep going. About how there is always someone who sees from a distant hill, and cheers you on. About how hope draws you like a magnet and gives you a gift.

And about miracles.

About the dance of gratitude, the dance of glee. The dance that says, “I believe….again.”

I want to remember that fox. I want to remember her story. For a cold winter will come again for her and for me. It always does.

When it does, in honor of the little red fox, I will lift my nose into the wind for the sweet scent of hope. I will follow that scent. And I will dance.

The Smell of Hope is a post from: Storyline Blog

The Truth About Worrying

I had a pretty good revelation the other day and it was this: Things almost always turn out fine.

It was a good time for me to have that revelation because I’d just sat down to write when I got a call reminding me about an appointment I’d completely forgotten. I’d have to rush out the door to make it, forfeiting my writing session. And I hate forfeiting my writing sessions.

On the drive there, I had a bad attitude.

I thought about how I was going to get behind on my project and how I resented having to keep this appointment. Then it hit me: These things always turn out fine. I had plenty of hours on the other side of the appointment to write and by no means was the day ruined.

Photo Credit: Hamed Saber

I confess there are times I play the victim and count the ways my life can’t be good.

But it’s hardly true.

Things almost always turn out fine.

The rest of the day went fantastic. I kept the appointment and loved it and went home and had a great evening working on my project. So I’m going to use it as a mantra from now on. Things almost always turn out fine.

Had a fight with a family member about holiday plans? What if you went into the next conversation believing everything was going to be okay? How would it affect your attitude and thus his or her response?

What’s worrying you?

Can’t afford the various expenses involved in Christmas? I guess we can either panic or realize it’s going to be a tough season, but in the end it will turn out fine.

Honestly, I think I spend more time worrying about things that never happen than I do realizing things mostly turn out okay.

So this is your Christmas-week pep talk with Don. Back to the deeper stuff soon.

Spend time with your loved ones, reflect on the gift of Christ—the rest will work itself out.

The Truth About Worrying is a post from: Storyline Blog