Elizabeth Dutton's Blog, page 9

but I’m not

The past crashed my dream and now I’m awake.

relinquishing the control I never had

I was at the store the other day, dodging holiday shoppers as they filled carts with baking supplies and gift cards and perfume sets and bright plastic toys and television sets and the occasional bike wheeled alongside. People seemed pretty happy and not too stressed by it all. I walked around and got what I’d listed in my head as needing: salad greens, socks, hair product, some oranges. I realized that these were things I wanted, not things I needed. I guess the greens and oranges are needs for sustenance, but socks, hair stuff, or hangers are total luxuries. I didn’t feel some sort of guilt about getting this stuff, just an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I felt lucky.

I headed home and as I drove on the four-lane highway back to my town, a funeral procession approached in the oncoming direction. As is the custom here, a police cruiser led the way for a hearse and a stream of cars with headlights on mid-day. There is not a lot of traffic on this highway. Most days as I drive to and from work I see only a handful of cars. This was a Saturday before a holiday, so there were perhaps four cars visible ahead of me and five or six behind. All of us pulled over and stopped out of respect for the passing funeral. The older gentleman in the well-loved and well-worn pickup truck in front of me removed his baseball cap, smoothed back his hair, and bowed his head. The funeral procession rolled on and we started back up again to our various destinations.

It was such a sweet moment of tenderness among strangers and one that has been swimming in my head since. I felt even luckier. And I felt great love for the people mourning a loss and the other drivers who took a moment to respect that pain, that passing, that cycle.

Little moments should overwhelm us with love. Shit, man, EVERYTHING should overwhelm us with love.

Happiest of holidays to you all and here’s to new years and new seasons filled with love and strangers who aren’t strangers because they are us.

XO

leggenda

 

awesome:

everything

 

non-awesome:

some things

three chords and the truth

I stand by my assertion that Thanksgiving is one of the best holidays. Not because of the food, but because it is all about spending time with people you care about and love, being grateful, and reflecting on the RIGHT NOW of things. Plus, there are no Thanksgiving songs, which I think is fantastic.

That said, I present to you my annual list of things for which I am grateful:

→ family/friends/friends like family/total strangers/acquaintances

→ those who irritate or test my patience (because they remind me to address all things and people with compassion…and then I feel better and they no longer annoy me — we all win!)

→ poetry and the delicious lyricism of words and phrases

→ journalists who risk their sanity and lives to tell important stories

→ access to clean, running water

→ musicians who open their souls for public consumption in the name of creativity and a greater truth

→ the life-affirming opportunity to work in education and the heavy responsibility of positively contributing to another human being’s learning process

→ strong dog shampoos that erase the scent of rolled-in dead animal

→ sincerity and the courage it takes to express it

→ the technology that allows me to speak or type in real time with friends and family anywhere on this planet

→ the Kirkland ® brand merino wool socks I got at Costco (it’s like having my feet gently shrouded in angel whispers)

→ the work of artists that challenge the way I see or experience things, for good and for bad

→ my solid education and all who contributed to it, both in and out of the classroom

→ that my wild, reckless days are behind me

→ chicken salad

→ the use of my limbs and senses

→ weird bugs (and normal bugs) who live in their own tiny, infinite worlds

→ really wonderful documentaries

→ when right beats might

→ proper weatherizing

→ all the untold and unknown histories that brought us to this moment right now (I wish I could know and understand them all)

→ the fact that everything is made up of atoms, which makes me the same as you and the air and a boat and an apple and the stars and an evil person and a saint and a plastic bag and a smooth river stone and a computer and a tree and a gun and a building and dog slobber

→ those who take pride in their work and those who respect the workers

→ arresting visual images that somehow transport us to a specific moment and place in time (video as alchemy)

→ hugs

→ I am grateful that you, the person reading this right now, are able to read this and that you are living and breathing and (oh, I hope upon hope) you are happy and at peace.

xo

all secrets sleep in winter clothes

and just like that, my heart broke into thousands of other happy hearts

thank you, avett brothers

me and oceans

I’ve made another one, another poem. Tell me what you think.

T-shirts with No Logos

(with a nod to Stevie Smith)

Will you ever marry?

Why no children?

Have you heard this song?

 

The man I loved has died.

I live in decades past.

 

At 37, I am an old, wooden ship.

 

I am a creaking carrack.

I carry no cargo, never will, just

delicious words and puffed clouds

of ideas

that roll lazily about

my hold.

 

I am no clipper,

I roam open oceans,

my curves comical and oversized,

my sails blousy,

my lines askew.

 

I look to horizons

without anticipation,

expectation.

The horizon simply IS

and whether it holds that line

of sea and air

or a distant shore

is not up to me.

It just will BE.

 

I am an old, wooden ship

in crests and valleys of now;

not drowning, but waving.

et voila!

I should rather like to pal around with Poirot, being clever in lovely surroundings.

just as the name implies

 

 

spent leaf falls from tree

raccoon looks at baying hound

there’s right now, then gone

no feeling is final

awesome:

flu shots

freeze-dried fruit

many tasks (creative or otherwise) accomplished at the end of the day

music or images or words that are so good they make you feel high

ENERGY ART/NEW ENERGY

thinking about Halloween costumes

the depths of compassion

non-awesome:

greedy squirrels

continued statements of the obvious

R.I.P. Opie

it’s only me who wants to wrap around your dreams

awesome:

cooperation

having a Bear Flag mouse pad

sudden torrential rain

happy friends

happy me

the mini bird nest hair pin I made

non-awesome :

stinging insects

people who stink of cigarettes

pretentiousness