Matthew S. Williams's Blog, page 190

The Blue Martian Sunset

Ever since the Curiosity rover landed, NASA had been awash with new photos of the Martian landscape. Naturally, most have been black and white picks of the oxidized soil immediately around the rover’s landing area. But more have been arriving lately that show a feature unique to Mars. That feature is the Blue Sunset.

Scientists working for NASA claim that this phenomena is due to the particulate matter that is present in the Martian atmosphere. This red dust – which is composed of oxidized minerals, mainly iron – is what gives Mars its distinct color, but also provides for a fractal effect which shifts light towards the blue end of the spectrum. The same basic principle is true for sunsets seen from Earth, where our oxygen and nitrogen and ozone atmosphere causes the light to shift to the red end of the spectrum.

These patterns of Red Shift and Blue Shift are actually a very common element when it comes to astronomy. When observing galaxies in the night sky, scientists are able to tell that they are moving away because the light that they emit, and which is intercepted by our telescopes is shifted to the red end of the spectrum. Based on how much shift is occurring, scientists are bale to measure just how fast they are moving, relative to us.

When it comes time to hurl some objects into space ourselves, such as interstellar space craft, we can expect to see some of this close up. Out there, relativistic effects caused by high speeds will make the stars ahead of the ship look reddish, while stars seen to the rear will appear blue. Cool how that works huh?

To illustrate this Blue Sunset, NASA has released a compilation, time-elapse video which was taken two years ago by the Exploration Rover. It shows the sun setting in full, all the while emitting that cool, blue glow. Enjoy and stay tuned for more news on the Martian front!

"The Hitchhiker"

Reblogged from vb's reverbs:

Lo, I have traveled far into space
Three hundred, fifty-two million miles.
Endured eight and one-half months of trials
To perpetuate the human race.

The rover named Curiosity
Has been a useful incubator.
Its wheel has kept me safe and sound for
Preservation of humanity.

I’m a hitchhiker, the DNA
Of a very careless mechanic
Who coughed on the rover’s wheel when sick
And contaminated it that day.

Read more… 156 more words

A funny lyrical poem about Curiosity and its mission to Mars.

Scientifically Inaccurate Mars Movies

In honor of the Mars Curiosity Rover’s recent landing, the good folks over at IO9 ask the question: “Why is it we can land a rover on Mars, but Hollywood still can’t make a scientifically accurate movie about Mars?” Yeah, I’d say that ranks right up there with Homer Simpson’s age old question: “How come you guys can put a man on the Moon but you still can’t make my shoes not stink?”

While the hosts go through a list of famous Hollywood movies that feature Mars, they ask guest host Phil Plait, the blogger behind the site Bad Astronomy (a segment at Discovery Magazine online), to debunk the junk science upon which so many of them are based. The list is long, but I’m thinking Mission to Mars for the win! Boy that movie sucked!

In between all that, there’s even some helpful tips for how to go about terraforming a planet like Mars for real. I’m thinking my group and I would do well to listen since our project concerns just that. Also, the image they put up when discussing the lengthy process terraforming would actually involve was taken from the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson! A psychic moment happened for me there because I swear that it was as they were saying “We need a miniseries where that’s done” (i.e. gradual terraforming), I was thinking of that exact series!

So yeah… HBO, Netflix, one you other cable providers, get on that!

LOTR: The Return of The King

At long last, the third and final installment in the Lord Of The Rings series! It feels like such a long time ago that I read this book, and going over the salient points makes me want to re-read the entire series. By this point in things, I felt myself becoming so immersed in Tolkien’s mythical universe that I felt both saturated yet wanting. There was so much there to absorb, and yet the greater mysteries of his world still seemed unknown. No wonder I picked up the Silmarillion and devoured it shortly thereafter. Man that book was dense!

But of course, that was after the third and final installment. As I said last time, the second book really impressed the hell out of me. But it was tempered by the fact that the greatest battles and climaxes were yet to come. Frodo and Sam had yet to reach Mordor and Mount Doom, Gollum’s true role in the Quest was yet to be revealed, and the battle for Gondor and Middle Earth was yet to truly begin. I awaited on these with eager anticipation…

And then it came! The Battle for Middle Earth was joined! The War of the Ring came to its grand climax and was resolved for all time. And here’s the pertinent stuff and what I thought about it…

Plot Summary:

The book opens where the last left off, with Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas returning with Theoden to Edoras to rally their forces and plan for the enxt phase of battle. Though Saruman has been thoroughly defeated, there remains the danger from Mordor, where Sauron is still amassing his armies of Orcs, Southrons and Easterlings and preparing for his assault on Gondor.

At the same time, Sam must find Frodo and rescue him from the grasp of the Orcs. In the wake of Gollum’s betrayal, their Quest has hit a sort of intermission. Until he finds Frodo and returns the Ring to him, it cannot resume, for only Frodo is the true Ringbearer.

Book V: The War of the Ring

Gandalf and Pippin arrive at Minis Tirith to speak with Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, and warn him that an attack on the city is imminent. Denethor announces that he knows of Boromir’s death, and Pippin enters Denethor’s service as a repayment for the debt he owes to his son for saving his life. Now in the service of the tower guard, he is given a view of the fields of Pelenner and is able to bear witness to the approaching war.

Meanwhile, Osgiliath falls to the advancing Orcs and Denethor begins to fall into a dark mood. He orders Faramir, the lesser of his two heirs in his mind, the task of retaking it with his forces. Unfortunately, he is mortally wounded and his riders return broken. Denethor falls into a deep, dark state and believes his son is dead. He orders a funeral pyre built for the two of them and asks that they be burnt like the Kings of old as the city becomes encircled by a host of 200,000 Orcs.

To the north, Aragorn and his companions have traveled to the White Mountains to find the Paths of the Dead, a mountain hall where the oathbreakers from the War of the Last Alliance still dwell. Helped by his companions, Legolas and Gimli as well as the “Grey Company” – a group of Rangers from Arnor in the north – he sets out to recruit them.

As Aragorn departs on his seemingly impossible task, King Théoden musters the Rohirrim to come to the aid of Gondor. Merry, eager to go to war with his allies, is refused by Théoden several times. Finally Dernhelm, one of the Rohirrim, takes Merry up on his horse, and secretly rides with the rest of the Rohirrim.

At Minas Tirith, under the leadership of the Witch King of Angmar, the forces of Mordor break through the city’s gates. However, the Rohirrim show up and begin to ride them down. Gandalf arrives in the King’s Hall to confront Denethor and stop him from burning himself and his son.

Denethor cuts the cushion from his thrown and reveals the Palantir inside, and says he has seen visions of the battle which show their ultimate defeat with the arrival of a Corsair fleet from Umbar. Gandalf and Pippin manage to save Faramir from the fires but Denethor is consumed.

The battle appears is poised as the Riders of Rohan are engaged with Orcs and the Southron war Oliphants when the Corsairs arrive. Sauron’s forces initially rejoice at their appearance, but then realize the ships have been commandeered by Aragorn and the host of the Oathbreakers. With these ships and additional troops added to the fight, the host of Sauron is outflanked and near defeat.

However, the Witch King still manages to wound Theoden mortally before Dernhelm intervenes. Dernhelm is also wounded, and then saved when Pippin sticks his sword in the Ring wraith’s leg. Dernhelm removes her helmet and reveals that she is Eowyn, who then strikes the Witch King dead.

The siege is broken, but at a heavy cost. In addition to the death of many warriors, Theoden is dead, Eowyn and Pippin are both seriously wounded, and Faramir himself is still facing death. On top of all that, they know that Sauron is not yet defeated and they will not be able to thwart another attack.

Aragorn is called upon to heal them as well as Faramir. They recover, and Faramir and Eowyn become acquainted as they both convalesce. In time, she forgets her infatuation with Aragorn and learns to embrace Faramir’s gentle and wise nature.

Knowing that it is only a matter of time before Sauron attacks again, and that they do not have the strength to thwart him a second time, Aragorn and Gandalf propose a bold plan. They will attack the Black Gates in order to draw out the host of Mordor, thus clearing the way for Frodo and Sam to reach Mt. Doom unnoticed.

Upon their arrival, they are approached by the Mouth of Sauron, chief amongst his dark emissaries. He dictates punitive terms to the army of Men, and backs it up by claiming that Frodo is dead and shows them his effects as proof. They begin to despair, but Gandalf refuses to believe it, claiming that his is just another of Sauron’s deceptions. Were he in possession of the Ring, says Gandalf, he himself would be coming forward to meet them.

Having been refused, the Mouth of Sauron returns to the Gate and the host of Mordor falls upon them. They appear to be getting overrun, and Pippin is pinned under the body of a Troll after it is killed. All seems lost, just as the Great Eagles begin to come in and fight off the Ring Wraiths…

Book VI: The Return of the King

Sam finds Frodo’s body in the tower of Cirith Ungol. After fighting off his captors, Frodo awakens and takes the Ring from Sam. They descend the stairs into the land of Mordor and steal some Orcish armor and vestments so they can blend in with the host. However, they find the land largely empty as the armies are being called away to deal with a threat at the Black Gate.

Sam and Frodo are absorbed by the host temporarily, but manage to break away and make for the Mount Doom. With the land all but emptied and the eye fixed on the Black Gate, they make their final approach on the mountain itself. They pause temporarily to look back on all they’ve accomplished and the vast distance they’ve crossed, and realize that their Quest is almost over.

Once inside the mountain, and ready to cast the Ring into the Cracks of Doom, Frodo finally succumbs to the power of the Ring and declares he’s keeping it for himself. However, Gollum appears suddenly and tries to take it from him. He bites off Frodo’s finger and claims it, but loses his footing and falls into the Cracks, which consume him and the Ring together. Sauron and the Ring are at last destroyed!

At the Gates, Sauron appears as a dark shadow who tries to reach out and attack the Army of Men. However, his shadow is blown away by the wind, and his forces flee when they realize their master has been destroyed. The Southrons and Easterlings surrender and are given mercy, and the Great Eagles are flown in by Gandalf to pluck Frodo and Sam from the side of the mountain.

Back at Minas Tirith, Aragorn is crowned King and takes Arwen as his Queen. Faramir takes Eowyn as his wife and is given the title of Prince of Ithilien. The White Tree, which has been dying for some time, blossoms and begins to show signs of life. All of Gondor begins to sprout with trees after Aragorn plants and ancient seed, and Gandalf indicates that the Northern Kingdom, where Aragorn’s ancestors used to rule, will be reclaimed and rebuilt.

Frodo, Sam,  Merry and Pippin and are honored as heroes during the coronation ceremony. After a series of goodbyes, they return to the Shire, only to find it in ruins. They learn that Lotho Sackville-Baggins, one of Frodo’s relatives and usually referred to as “The Chief” or “The Boss”, has been oppressing the locals, but himself is being controlled by someone named Sharky. This man has imposed a program of deforestation and industrialization which has left the Shire scarred and near ruin.

After rallying the locals, they confront Lotho and Sharky’s men at the Battle of Bywater. Victorious, they march on Sharky’s hideout and confront Sharky himself, who turns out to be Saruman, accompanied by Grima. Apparently, the name Sharky is an Orcish word which means “old man”, which his Uruk-hai used to refer to him. Obstinate in defeat, Saruman abuses Grima and turns to leave. However, Grima stabs Saruman in the back and is himself felled by many arrows.

Time passes and everyone appears to have settled down happily. However, Frodo is unable to overcome the injuries he sustained at the hands of the Witch King. Eventually, he departs for the Havens where he meets with Gandalf, Bilbo Baggins, and many Elves, ending the Third Age. They sail into the West, to the lands of Aman, the “Undying Lands”, while Sam returns to the Shire where he is greeted by his wife and daughter, Rosie Cotton and Elanor, and delivers his final spoken words of the book: “Well, I’m back”.

Summary:

Though not as exciting to me as the second book, I nevertheless loved the third and final installment. Naturally, many critics and readers over the years have cited some weaknesses in the book, such as the extended ending where Frodo and his friends return to the Shire to save it from Saruman. This felt like an added climactic moment which occurred after the big one, which can seem a little out of place for a story, even one as epic as this one.

However, it was intrinsic in demonstrating Tolkien’s views on industrialization and labor relations. In short, he was a man who delighted in the natural world, and saw the intrusion of industry and an industrialized workforce as oppressive. And hell, you couldn’t beat the references: “The Boss”, the corrupt workmen, the smokestacks and the ruined countryside. It was like a worker’s pamphlet and a description of 19th century Manchester all rolled into one.

There were several more asides in this book, something Tolkien was famous for. And although they seemed like third act additions, they all seemed to be of particular importance to the author himself. For example, the scene where Theoden and the Aragorn are having an audience with the leader of the Pukel Men in order to find the path through the mountains, this was important in that it showed Tolkien’s views on native peoples, how they have been historically used and abused and were deserving of more respect.

The fact they are asking the help of people that Rohan usually hunts and goes to war with was also an interesting allegory. Much like how the British, French and American colonists called upon their Native neighbours for help in the French and Indian War, the War of Independence, and the War of 1812, Rohan is calling on people it typically considers to be enemies for help against a greater foe. As such, I found the scene quite interesting; and rather than detract from the overall narrative, I felt it added to the richness of Tolkien’s world. An editor would have surely told him to nix it, but that was something else about Tolkien. He refused to let editors tell him what to do, beyond mere spell checks and grammatical corrections.

In terms of the film adaptation, I once again had some issues with how it was done. But to be fair, I was a full-blown Rings geek at this point and saw the book as something akin to canon, so any changes were likely to be seen as just plain sacrilege. Still, it was awesome to witness the battle of Pelennor Fields on the big screen, not to mention seeing Minas Tirith rendered in visual form. These were the big climactic scenes to the story and I approved quite highly with how Jackson rendered it all.

When it came to the battle itself, there was the same conveyance of hopelessness and the feeling that everything was lost, right up until the reinforcements arrive and the day is saved! And personally, I can’t get enough of the scene where the Riders of Rohan start riding down the Orcs! Seeing those ugly bastards get their ranks clobbered was so pleasing after all the people they killed and evil shit they pulled! But of course, the battle got a little hokey after this, as Legolas begins doing his acrobatics and the ghost men show up to the fight.

This latter part wasn’t in the book; the Oathbreakers having done their part to secure the fleet in the first place. Having them also destroy all the Orcs inside the gates of Minis Tirith also made it look like the forces of Gondor did very poorly in the fight, which was really not the case in the book. Granted, they were losing, but their contribution on the fields helped turn the tide of battle and ensured that they still had plenty of foces to send to the Black Gate at the end.

Oh, and that farewell scene between Theoden and Eowyn. All I can say is “Ick!” “I’ve got to save you,” says she, to which he replies “You already have…” Not only was this ripped straight from Return of the Jedi, but it made no sense. How did she save him? Sure, she killed the Witch King, but he’s dying. She didn;’t redeem him the way Luke did his father. So where did the saving come in? What, did she save him from his sexist views? Great, but… you’re still dead, Theoden! Luckily, the fight with the Witch King overshadowed all of that for me. Sure, he too was a bit of a ripoff of Darth Vader, but who cares? He was badass!

Of course, Sam and Frodo’s part in this book was rather truncated. It is for this very reason that Peter Jackson chose to take material from Book IV and place it here, where it could be used to pad their story. However, this worked quite well in the book in that we were brought to a veritable climax when the Book V ended at the Black Gates. With so much hanging in the balance, Book VI manages to carry things on and not keep the reader waiting too long before showing the resolution and tying things up.

That was one thing I didn’t really approve of in the movie, which was the amount of padding they placed in Sam and Frodo’s part. Those who have read the books will know what I mean. The fact that they kept the scenes from Shelob’s Lair for this movie made perfect sense, but the additional parts which didn’t happen in the book – Gollum turning Frodo against Sam, Gollum attacking them twice after betraying them, Frodo falling and getting a vision of Galadriel to help him up – all seemed like needless filler. Oh, and don’t forget the extra added scenes of Arwen looking on and crying, again!

But other than that, zero complaints! Kudos to Peter Jackson for taking on the task of turning one of the best stories of high fantasy and mythos into a full-length movie series, complete with battle scenes that were awesome in their size and scale! And an even bigger kudos to Tolkien, for giving countless generations something which they have been able to enjoy, draw inspiration from, and feel all the richer for having read. Few people have had the same impact as this venerated author, and very few works have ever come to rival its scope and influence.

If you haven’t read it, do it now! Even if you don’t generally approve of fantasy, you’ll find something to love here. I guarantee it!

Let The Vacay Begin!

Hey all. Just wanted to let people know that I will be AFK (Away From Keyboard) for about a week starting this weekend. The wife and I will be heading off to walk the beautiful Sunshine Coast, roughing it in the wilderness for about five days with nothing but the sun, surf, and trees to keep us company.

Then it’s off to the Comox Valley for a little visitation with the parental units, followed by a week of house/cat sitting and visiting with my grandma. Did I mention my folks have eight cats? Yes, eight! What can I say? They live in a rural area and they’re part of a rescue society so… yeah, lot’s of furry critters around that house! Luckily, my grandma doesn’t seem to mind.

Luckily, by then I will be back in range of a computer with internet access, so I’ll be accessible again for anyone who cares. Grim5Next people, I’m looking in your direction! I know you guys can’t do anything without me, but you’ll just have to make do without me for a few days

I also plan to do some serious work while house-sitting for the family. Tasks that I hope to get completed in that time are as follows:

Finish editing Data Miners already!
Finish my contribution to the Yuva Anthology (Winston Agonistes)
Get more chapters done for Whiskey Delta
Write up a new chapter for Crashland (still need people to vote on that one!)
Proofread new submissions for Yuva (Amber, that’d be your story)
Get some TKD training in with the Comox Valley people
Sit around the deck drinking GandTs and using the Hot Tub

Okay, that last one isn’t a task, just something I want to do while I’m up there. Yeah, there isn’t going to be much to do for those few days, so I hope to be uber-productive. Can you tell?

I hope everybody’s having an awesome summer and taking the time to enjoy the outdoors and the seasonal weather. I also hope you’re spending it with the people you care most about. When it comes right down to it, they are all that matter! I also hope those of you who have regular dayjobs, unlike us educators, are all taking this opportunity to use those vacation days, and any sick days and overtime you might have banked up, and hitting the road, the beach, the mountains, the sea, jet setting… You know, whatever you do when you go on vacation

Kickass Review of Total Recall from Ellipsis Media!

Here is a recent media posting by a friend and colleague of mine, named David Lim. His website, Ellipsis Media, is dedicated to the latest in entertainment and once in a while, I like to hear his opinions on the latest releases. They help me to decide whether or not I’m going to shell out the exorbitant amount of money that it takes to see a movie live these days. Earlier today, he helped me make up my mind on a somewhat contentious issue: whether or not to see the reboot to Total Recall.

Naturally, I had little desire to see this movie since it seemed to me that there was nothing wrong with the first one. And second, there didn’t appear to be much to this one beyond some A-listers who were cast solely for their looks. Third, they did away with the Mars angle which, though they differed drastically from the original PKD story, was still intrinsic to the first adaptation. But to hear that there was absolutely nothing original about it on top of all that, that pretty much clinched it for me.

In short, Total Recall looks like a good candidate for download!

Check out the review below, and if you’re suitably impressed, check out the site and like him on Facebook. It’s free….

Whiskey Delta – Chapter 8

“ He is best secure from dangers who is on his guard even when he seems safe.”

-Publilius Syrus

“Check those corners, people.”

Dezba and his squad moved into the next classroom. Like all the rest, the desks looked like they had been moved to barricade the doors. Of course, they hadn’t held. The doors were all ajar, their hinges broken and their glass planes turned into fragments all over the floor. And of course, the desks were scattered from the middle as if they had been forced through in a hurry.

At the other end, the doors had fared a little better, the hinges still intact, with a chain wrapped around one of the handles and strewn across the floor. Were Dezba to guess, he would say that whoever had locked themselves in here was expecting an attack from his direction. When it came from the opposite side, they had tried to escape and were forced to undo all their careful preparations.

No telling whether or not they had made it. Perhaps some of the survivors on the roof counted themselves amongst them, but he strongly doubted it. It was unlikely anyone so exposed could survive that long.

“Check those corners,” the LT repeated.

Mill moved from the far corner of the room and nodded. “Room clear Sarge.”

Dezba nodded and waved for them to move into the adjoining hallway. On the com, Braun continued to issue general reminders.

“Watch those shadows. Keep your eyes open for all movement.”

Up until the hallway, Dezba and the squad paused. There were several more rooms before they reached the staircase. And the stench was getting worse the father they went. And yet they hadn’t seen a single body. That could only mean one thing…

Not a single person who had been bitten in the last attack had stayed dead.

“Watch those shadows…”

Majorca grunted. “Why doesn’t he just read us the whole playbook?”

“Take er easy, he’s just watching out for his people.”

“We’re not all FNG’s…”

Dezba looked at Jones, who seemed too nervous to notice the slight. The shit always rolled downhill whenever things got tense and the CO started getting pushy. At least whenever the CO was actually liked…

He raised his weapon again and sighted down the hall. Time was wasting, they would have to clear the hallway quick.

“Mill,  Whitman, take the rooms on the right. Point check only. Majorca, you’re on the left… with Jones.”

“Fuck…” he muttered. The two teams began moving, stopping by each door and poking their rifles in. Dezba moved down the center, keeping his eyes on the stairway. The red EXIT sign at the end glowed bright green in his site. One thing that could be counted on to still be operational in townships like these, the emergency exits and anything else that ran on backup generators. He only wished the air vent ran on that same system. The stink was only getting worse the closer they came to the stairs.

“Clear!” from the left.

“Clear!” from the right.

One by one, the room’s were checked and determined to be empty. Unlike the seminar rooms they had cleared on the way in, these all seemed abandoned and relatively untouched. No attempts were made to barricade the doors or hold up inside. Whoever had been taking classes when the First Wave hit must have thought they could make it out. Judging from how they were all closed on this level, no one seemed to have tried to make it out the windows. They must have thought that they would be safer in the larger classrooms.

Then again, who the hell knew what they had been thinking? Everything Dezba had seen since they started clearing overrun houses told him that people rarely acted rationally when the bastards came looking for them. Most of the time, they simply panicked. Whatever preparations or final actions they took were generally half-assed and ineffective.

When they finally reached the stairs, Dezba radioed in.

“Viper One, proceeded to the next floor.”

“Roger that, Viper One. We’re on your six.”

Dezba put his foot on the landing of the first step and paused. He could feel the stench now, creeping up the stairs. And there was something else besides. He looked up the full length of the stairway. The walls were painted in a strange, lime green color, the light coming in through a wall of glass panels reflecting in the same tinge. It was like watching the world through NV. Too many times he had looked out on a scene like this, right before the milky globes appeared and all hell broke loose.

“Sarge, what’s going on?” Whitman asked.

He looked the other way, all the way down to the bottom floor. By contrast, there was nothing but darkness down that way. the green tinge disappeared into a wall of black and the glass windows stopped just below the second story. Their didn’t appear to be any working signs down that way. And all the while… the stench.

“Sarge… what the fuck, man?” he repeated.

Dezba raised his fist, the unmistakable request for a halt and quiet. His eyes stayed trained on the lower levels, where the dark had made a home and seemed to be calling to him. Stopping the nearest step, he placed his rifle down temporarily.

“Seriously, man, what gives?”

“Easy, Private,” Mill replied. “He’s having one of his Hopi warrior premonitions. Best not to interrupt.”

Were he listening to their chatter, Dezba might have corrected Mill on his White Bread cultural ignorance. Instead, he kept his eyes fixed on the dark, and unhooked a flashbang from his belt. Yanked the key out with his left hand, he tossed over it over the rail with his right and covered his ears The grenade fell, end over end and releasing the spoon, until it finally disappeared deep below.

A loud metal clang as it landed.

“Cover!” Dezba yelled, a second too late. The concussion echoed up and down the stairwell, but the incendiary was all but contained below. Everyone but him groaned from the piercing noise, but when it faded, they were altered to a new noise that was far worse.

It was low and rumbling, and very, very angry. It got worse as the seconds passed, growing louder, angrier… and closer.

“Shit, Sarge, what the hell is going on!” yelled Whitman.

“Fuckers were lying in wait,” Dezba replied.

He was still staring down. He couldn’t see anything, but he could still feel it. It was moving, angrily seeking the man that had disturbed them from their hiding place below. It had been waiting, hoping to catch them unawares. Now, it was attacking out of pure blood lust, an angry nest of hornets that had just had just been kicked and wanted revenge.

“Fall back,” he ordered. “Fall back to the seminar room.”

“What the hell, man. They’re fucking animals! They don’t know how to lie in wait!”

“Get back to the seminar room!” he repeated. “Regroup with third squad there. It’s the only shot we got!”

They did as they were told. Mill, Majorca, Whitman and Jones began beating a hasty retreat. They passed the abandoned classrooms and rushed for the pair of double doors that still hung on their hinges. Dezba’s earpiece began to crackle. He could barely hear the words over the rising noise coming up from behind him. No doubt the LT was hearing it now too.

“I say again. Viper One, report!”

He keyed the comm and began issuing a panicked reply.

“Viper Actual, this is Viper One. Unknown number of Whiskeys converging on our position! Falling back to regroup with Viper Three!”

There was a short pause. Bad news never seemed to get an immediate response, not when it came unexpectedly.

“Roger, that, Viper One,” he said hastily. “But we are one floor beneath you and two mikes away. You’ll have to hold them until we get there.”

Dezba looked ahead and spotted his squad taking up position in the seminar room. In these close quarters, they’d be risking a lot to fire their M203′s against a slew of moving targets. Whiskey’s were known to move fast when encouraged by the smell of living flesh. They’d have to slow them down some other way.

“Mill! Jones!” Dezba yelled. “Start barricading those doors! I’m going to plant some Claymores!”

Mill looked back at him angrily. “These door won’t hold for long!”

“Just do it! And give me some cover while you’re at it!”

Mill started to grumble and relayed the order to the others. Majorca stepped to the door and aimed his SAW down the hallway while the others began hauling desks their spots against the wall. Dezba reached into his jacket and began pulling out his M18s. They’d be hard to plant in the linoleum that covered the floor, but he only needed them to stand up long enough for a Whiskey to wander into their path.

He set the first one in a doorway near the end of the hall. Falling back midway between the seminar room and the stairs, he picked his second spot against the drywall.

That’s when the noise became truly discernible. He looked up and saw one down hall… looking straight at him.

It groaned, a low, angry rumble. It’s eyes were dead, but he could swear he saw the smoldering flames of rage burning in them. More converged around it and just stood there, looking down at him. He had certainly kicked up a hornets nest with this one. Like any creature that had had its best plans foiled, these Whiskeys looked seriously pissed. The wretched flesh and exposed teeth didn’t wasn’t taking away from that impression much.

He flicked the detonator switch on the second Claymore and pulled his rifle around He stayed low, presenting as small a target as possible.

“It’s true isn’t it?” he asked. “You guys really are getting smarter. You’re starting to think things through…”

The groans grew louder. Their grou began to sway, momentum pooling up in their limbs and getting ready to surge forward. Dezba raised his  gun.

“Well, fuck you. I still outsmarted ya!”

The first of them lurched forward. Dezba pulled the trigger and sent  a burst that shattered its skull. It’s body fell by the wayside as the other pushed forward.

“Sarge!” Majorca yelled from behind him. “Get your ass out of there!”

Dezba kept his head ducked and began falling back. He squeezed off two more bursts before coming around and sprinting towards the doors. As soon as he was sure he had a clear shot, Majorca opened up with his SAW and sent his own bursts down range. Dezba could hear them finding their mark behind him. At least two more hit the floor before he made it to the end of the hallway. Mill and Whitman reached out to take his hands and hoisted him over the desks that was stacked in his way. Between the two of them, he was thrown clear of the barricade and landed flat on the other side, his faces touching down against cold linoleum. He barely had time to get to his knees before his men were on him and helping him to his feet.

“You alright, Sarge?” asked Mill.

“Fine… wind…” he pointed to his stomach.

“You’re alright. We got this!”

Dezba raised his rifle and fell back to the other side of the room with the others. Mill hung back to make sure the chain was pulled tight between to the doors and then grabbed his own weapon.

“Alright! We’re good to go.”

Dezba took a deep breath and keyed his comm as the first of the Claymores sounded outside the doors.

“Viper Actual. We are in position and waiting on reinforcement, over!”

The second Claymore blew. He could barely hear the first of the LT’s reply, but the relevant stuff came through loud and clear.

“…still one mike away. Stand fast and wait for relief!”

Dezba released the comm and looked up to his men. “We got one minute to go! Get ready!”

The doors began to shutter. He had been hoping the M18s would have bought them a little more time, but that was the problem with monsters. They didn’t seem too deterred by explosions and loud noises. They also didn’t stop to regroup or check their casualties . Even if he had managed to take out half a dozen with those two charges, there had to be at least a dozen more coming. The din they were making was indicative of that many at least.

“Ready!” he yelled, kneeling behind the table next to Jones. The FNG was looking shaky, but at least his shotgun was aimed in the right direction. Mill grabbed a spot over against the right wall with his SAW while Majorca grabbed a spot to their left.  That left Whitman behind him with his rifle to complete the squad.

“Don’t shoot ’til they’re clear!” he yelled. “Let em waste themselves on those doors.”

“That shouldn’t take long,” Mill replied.

The door shuttered again and again. They would be through in just a second. He only hoped they had enough firepower to stop them. There was no way the Whiskeys would fall back or slow down. There was no way they’d turn tail and run when things got too sticky. There was only one way to stop an advancing hoard of these monsters, and that was to make sure every last one of them was shot dead… and stayed that way.

How the Dark Knight Should Have Ended

My thanks to Rami for reminded me this site existed! It must have been a year ago that I saw the clip of how the original Superman should have ended, with Superman making down the missiles and not going on a scavenger hunt for the kyrponite. The Prometheus ending was even more apt, pointing out how the Engineer was supposed to die in his chair, not on the floor of an escape pod. But this one was even better!

The Game of Thrones 8-bit RPG

Last summer, a bunch of drunken frat boys with lots of technical skills and way too much time on their hands put out a hilariously satirical Game of Thrones RPG. As if that wasn’t enough, they’re back it and have produced a follow-up for Season 2! Made in the spirit of all those Nintendo games we all grew up with, the kinds that had cheap graphics and even cheaper sound, this new game is really only for display purposes.

Still, it’s bang on when it comes to capturing the logical absurdities of the plot and the more hilarious aspects of the show. Yeah, the boys over at College Humor (I assume they’re boys because… well, you know!) are pretty clever when they put down their bongs and Zima long enough to actually make something. Check it out!

Via: College Humor

Whiskey Delta – Chapter 7

“One hundred rounds do not constitute firepower. One hit constitutes firepower.”

- Gen. Merritt Edson, USMC

They hit what felt like another speed bump and everyone in the cabin was tossed from their seats again. Each time, Mill could be heard slapping against the ringmount, his kit rattling against his belt and the .50 cal bouncing against its mount. Dezba knew from being in that spot many times that it wasn’t a comfortable spot to be in when the ride got dicey.

Dezba took his eyes off his sector for just a moment to eye the road ahead. No speed bumps per se, but the entire street had been paved in such a way as to ensure that the asphalt was strategically sloped. Every time they hit an intersection, they dropped. Every time they proceeded in front of another property block, they jumped up again.

Apparently, this was some city planners idea of keeping traffic slow at the edge of town. If that person weren’t already dead, Dezba figured there would be a pretty long line of people willing to oblige them right about now.

When hit the next bump, Mill finally cursed aloud.

“How the fuck am I supposed to monitor for Whiskeys when we keep bumping around like this?”

“Just keep your eyes peeled, Private,” Dezba said. “We’re almost clear of this area. Then we can look forward to dirt roads and potholes soon.”

Mill grumbled and pulled his .50 cal up again. “If we did see any trouble right now, I wouldn’t be able to hit the broad side of a cow’s ass!”

Dezba put his eye to his scope again and watched his sector. Nothing but open lots and spacious properties separated by stretches of dirt. Everyone knew that the edge of town was where all the clinics, athletics facilities and adobe-themed hotels were. The windows were all dark, the cars in the lots abandoned, and anything of value just left in lying around. Nothing but the stark reminder of the chaos so many had left behind some months before.

In the back, Majorca had the far better view. Looking to the east, he had an eye on the BCT’s armored fist as it moved down the main highway. In the front, there was a handful of M1A1′s, swiveling their turrets back and forth, searching for any telltale signs of enemy intrusion. At their sides and holding up the rear were the BCT’s compliment of Strykers and LAV’s. For the moment, their guns were silent, the few Whiskeys that had wondered out to escape the flames from the bombing were now dead at the edge of town.

So in spite of the bumps and the wheels grinding, they had perfect quite for the time being…

“Look at that fucking phallic display!”

Fuck, Dezba thought. He knew it was only a matter of time before Whitman took the quiet as an invitation to start in on something. Don’t answer, he told himself, trying to psyche the same message to the others. But of course, it didn’t work.

“What are you talking about?” asked Jones, the squad’s newest addition. The new guys always made the mistake of asking Whitman to elaborate on his asinine observations.

“I mean, you look at tanks advancing on a target, you’re basically watching a big, Freudian display. It’s just like cavemen waving around the biggest club, or the gangsta on the block who’s got the biggest gat. It’s all about intimidating your enemy with the size of your cock.”

Jones laughed. “Oh yeah, what about tactics, sound strategy?”

“Sublimation, man! I mean, just think about it. Army calls this sort of thing ‘penetration’. We’re penetrating the enemy lines. It’s even in the names. Remember Operation Desert Shield back in ’03?”

“Bill, you fucking Hotel Bravo!” said Mill. “’03 was Iraqi Freedom. Desert Shield was in ’91.”

“Whatever, man! Point is, sounds like a brand of condoms, don’t you think?”

“Rough Riders is the name of a condom,” Majorca replied.

“Isn’t that a football team?” said Jones.

“And what are sports if not more of the same homo-erotic shit, what guys do to forget the fact that they don’t have a pair of spread legs in front of them?”

“This is news to you, Billy Bob? Our entire existence is predicated on that fact,” Mill said, lamentably.

Whitman nodded, summarizing it as he always did: “More fucking equals less fighting.”

That should have ended it. But a few more seconds of silence pushed Whitman into drawing yet another connection.

“Nuclear missiles are pretty phallic too, if you think about it.”

Dezba couldn’t stay silent any longer. “Jesus, Billy, why the hell does everything have to come back to cocks and vaginas to you?”

Whitman bellowed. “What else do I got to do? I’m surrounded by cocks and I aint getting no vagee-gee, sir!”

That made Dezba smile, the memory of Billy being surrounded by plenty of eligible ass just the other night, but still managing to strike out repeatedly. It was entertaining, but had they known it would mean more of his bullshit, they might have spoken him up to the ladies a bit. Alas, they couldn’t do that to any of those girls. They all seemed too nice.

Up ahead, they spotted the Burger King sign looming large above their path. One of the Abrams scanned to that side of the highway and let lose a shot. It impacted in the lot and send flaming debris in all directions.

“Whoa, there’s a hit!” Whitman yelled.

More explosion as the fuel tanks from the few cars that remained in the lot exploded. The tank’s gun crews began opening up with their 7.62 and .50 cals, putting anything that could still be moving in the lot down. Whiskeys must have converged on the burger place looking for fresh meat, only to find that it had been dead for some time.

“They sure like cutting it close to us, don’t they?” said Jones.

“The Mage picked the route, kid,” replied Majorca. “‘Danger Close’ is his motto for a reason.”

Whitman brought the vehicle to the right to stay on the dirt road. The rest of Bravo Company converged behind them and stuck to the edge of the road, hoping to avoid the heat from all the acrid flames that were consuming the burger joint. Dezba put his nose up, hoping to catch the scent of burning cow. But all he could get was the aroma of burnt plastic and garbage. A sick, acrid kind of stench.

That’s when Mill began rappiing on the roof of the vehicle.

“Sarge! I got movement at our three o’clock!”

Dezba’s eyes darted left. The tree line was almost as dense on this side too; luckily, he could make out something on the tall rooftops that lay beyond them. A bunch of dark spots that were moving on top of the roof. He tried spotting them through his scope, but the distance, combined with the trees, was making it hard to get a clear look.

“Whiskeys?” he yelled up to Mill.

“Can’t tell,” he yelled back. “I think they might be civvies.”

Dezba looked ahead and spotted the road where they were supposed to be making their turn to rejoin the armored column on the highway. Odds were, they were just spotting some Whiskey’s that had wandered up onto the roof and couldn’t get back down. But if they were civilians, there was no way they could bypass them and leave them behind. With no cover, food, or water, they wouldn’t live long enough to be eaten.

“Private, pull us up onto the the shoulder up there!”

Whitman looked ahead. “Where?”

“To the right, pull over to the right up there!”

Whitman obliged, pulled a hard right once they cleared the dirt road and landed on the side of West Alameda. He drove for a few more seconds, just long enough to clear the last of the trees and giving them enough room to park the Company. Dezba had a full view of the tall buildings and the lot directly in front of it now. What’s more, he could see the profiles of many bodies on the roof. And unlike Whiskeys, which seemed to just amble around until they smelt fresh flesh, these ones were clustered and focused.

Focused in his direction, like they were watching…

Putting his rifle down, Dezba picked up his binocs and began surveying. He could see them perfectly now, roughly a dozen or so people huddled together and waving their hands and shirts in the air. He couldn’t quite make out their faces, but he could sense that they were watching him hopefully. Whatever else they had experienced, these looked to be people who felt safe at last.

The squad’s box began to crackle from the noise of the rest of the company. Every vehicle parked behind them was demanding to know why they’d made this sudden turn and why they’d stopped. Eventually, Braun cut in and contacted Dezba’s squad directly.

“Viper One, this is Viper Actual. Interrogative, why have we stopped en route to the objective, over.”

Whitman grabbed the receiver and held it to where Dezba could take it from him when he was done surveying.

“A community college,” he whispered.

“What’s that, sir?”

“It’s a fucking community college” he said over his shoulder. “High roofs, good view of the highway. They must have known that when help came, they’d be able to flag it easiest from that building.” He put the binocs down and grabbed the receiver, paused to say one last thing before getting on the horn with the LT. “G2 didn’t even think to designate this place a safe spot. What the hell were they thinking?”

“Always trust intelligence to fuck up a situation.”

“Now we got to get it unfucked,” he keyed the comm. “Viper Actual, interrogative. Do you see those civilians atop the Community College, over?”

The LT took a second to get back to them. “Viper One, that’s an affirmative over.”

“Viper Actual, recommend we approach in force and mount a rescue. Likely there are several Whiskeys occupying the building over.”

“Viper One, hold your position. Viper Actual coming up.”

Dezba hung up the phone and opened his door. Mill noticed him jumping out of the cab and yelled down to him. His gun was trained on the roof and he looked about ready to open fire on it.

“Ho, sir! What’s going on?”

“LT’s coming forward. We’re going to discuss revising the ROE. Just stay put and don’t shoot anything that looks like it might be living.”

Mill nodded and went back to watching the perimeter. Within seconds, the LT came running up to their vehicle, his weapon in hand. When he got to Dezba’s side, he walked with him around the front bumper and set his eyes on the rooftop. The people began to wave more frantically now, the site of people getting out and looking at them inspiring new bursts of energy.

“Sergeant Dezba,” he said. “How many bodies do you count up there?”

“At least a dozen, sir.”

“And I take it you’re recommending that we revise the timetable to extract those people?”

“That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?”

Braun looked back to the college. Dezba knew what he was thinking. Any time spent here would mean more time taken to rescue the others, and the timetable was drawn up with a very small margin for delay. By telling the townspeople to break cover, they were effectively asking them to brave whatever Whiskeys stood between them and the pickup points. The longer they made them wait, the greater the likelihood that there would be casualties. No matter what they had dropped in to help them with, untrained civilians could only last so long against those roving bands of monsters.

The LT took a deep breath and answered finally. “One-Hundred-Fiftieth is going to have to give us a thermal on that roof. They confirm the existence of mobiles, we can justify the change to the ROE.”

Dezba nodded. Whiskeys weren’t known for giving off much of a heat signature, so a thermal image of the roof would prove that they were seeing human beings and not flesh-eating monsters.

He also breathed a sigh of relief. He had a feeling the LT would come through. But of course, their was still the matter of spanking it up the line and getting Haynes to sign off of the new objective. He could tell from the look on the LT’s face that he didn’t like the odds of that too much. Haynes was not one for revising plans sent down by the Mage, nor did he care much about saving a few strays if it meant putting some of his own in jeopardy. Apparently, he seemed to think that was the lesson of all this, something people should have learned when the First Wave hit.

“Hold here,” he said. “I’m going to have to radio this in.”

“Sir?” Dezba called to him before he could move away. “What if the Colonel doesn’t approve the change? Are we just going to leave those people there?”

Braun shrugged. “He says move on, we move on. Not much that can be done about that.”

“Yes, sir.” Dezba replied, and let him leave without further discussion. The LT double-timed it back to his vehicle and rounded the other side, disappearing into the cab to make the call. Returning to the passenger side of his own vehicle, Dezba hand his rifle to Whitman and hopped back inside.

“So…?” Whitman asked, giving him his weapon back as soon as he was secured. “What’s happening?”

“We sit tight and wait for the LT to get this operation approved, that’s what.”

Whitman nodded and hummed thoughtfully. “If we end up pulling up a dozen plus people from that place, they might just hang a medal on you.”

“Yeah, and if ol’ Hazer says no and all we do is end up holding up the advance, he’ll might ream my ass for dereliction.”

Everyone in the cab made the same sound, a pained “Oooh” at the prospect of the Hazer dealing some hard discipline on his ass. In the meantime, all they could do was wait and watch. And sweat like a motherfucker in the morning heat! Their AC really wasn’t doing much for them right now. Which reminded him…

“Keep the engine going,” he told Whitman. “We might have to pull in there in a hurry.”

“Alright! I finally get to jump out of a moving vehicle!” Mill added, rapping the roof a few times.

“Jase, you’re on the roof, asshole. For you, that jump’d break your fucking neck!”

“Tuck and roll, dipshit. Tuck and roll.”

Dezba ignored them and checked his weapon. Still waiting… The people on the roof seemed to be getting tired. If he could spot their faces now, he guessed that some of the vitality he sensed earlier would be disappearing. He was sure they would be asking questions too, like why the hell were they just sitting there? Why weren’t they coming in to save those people? What kind of pussy-ass bitches were they anyway? Good questions, he thought. Valid questions.

The squawk crackled. Dezba grabbed the receiver before anything even came out of it.

“All Vipers, this is Viper Actual, be advised. There has been a change in the ROE. I repeat, there’s a change in the ROE. All Vipers are to converge on the lot to our left and deploy into the college ground ASAP. Twelve plus civilians awaiting evac, over.”

Dezba couldn’t help but notice the upbeat tone in the LT’s voice. So they were a go!

“Punch it, Whitman! Get us up there!”

Whitman gunned the engine and cranked the wheel to their left. This was followed by an equally sharp turn to their right as they came blazing into the parking lot and then to an abrupt stop. Whatever hopes Mill had entertained about jumping off while they were still moving had been dashed.

“Fuck, Billy! Learn to drive!” he yelled.

It was too late, Billy was out the door with his rifle in hand. Majorca, Jones and Dezba were right behind him. As first Squad, they moved onto the front walkway and secured the front door while the other vehicles took up spots beside theirs. Second and Third Squad, with the LT leading the way, moved up behind them a few seconds later. Fourth hung back and watched their flanks to make sure no Whiskeys were popping out of the bushes and coming towards them…

Moving up in squad formation, they reached the building and secured the front foyer. As expected, the smell of death hit them as soon as the doors were open. But a quick check confirmed that it was deserted. As soon as all squads reported clear, the LT pulled them in and began briefing them on their new operation. A map mounted on the wall provided them with their plan of attack…

“Deployment by the numbers, work your way up the halls and secure all rooms before moving on. First Squad, punch to the north side, secure the floor area of the large building at the rear. Second Squad, take to the East and secure any additional civilians that might be stuck in there. Third Squad will provide check out the west building, then link up with First once they secure the large building and cover them while they proceed to the roof. Any questions?”

“No sir” all around.

“Alright, then. Let’s save us some people, people!”

This time, hoots all around and they began to move with a purpose!