Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 95

Don't Eat the Clay!

Two announcements before I share my story:  First, I'm a guest over at the A-Z Blog Challenge blog.  It's all about the A-Z posts I did on my other blog, Gone Gardening.  Gardening is something I do when my animal cracker crew drives me crazy.  I also like to visit gardens.  If you want to read more, please hop over!

Also, I found out that Gone Gardening is a finalist in Karen's blogs of the year.  It's listed under "Best Kept Secret."  Thank you so much, Karen and everyone who nominated me!  If you like my gardening blog, please stop by and vote!

Now for the story:  Every kid in my neighborhood must've known that I was baking my famous chocolate chip cookies.  They swarmed  my pad and gathered around while I made them.  Of course, they couldn't keep their little paws out of the cookie batter bowl. 

"Hey, kids," I said.  "If you eat all the cookie dough, I won't have enough to make the cookies!"  I directed them over to the table where some pottery clay was.  "Go make something with this."  I left them to their own devices while I finished the cookies.

Not long afterwards, another kid came into my house.  He smelled the cookies.  He also saw the clay on the table.  Thinking it was cookie dough, he started to pop that stuff into his mouth.

"Whoa," I said.  "That's not cookie dough!  That's clay.  Don't eat the clay!"  

That's all I needed - a kid needing hospitalization because he ate pottery clay!

Alex Cavanaugh Blogfest

It's time for the Alex Cavanaugh blogfest!  I think just about everybody in the blog world knows Alex.  In case you don't, he is the Ninja Captain who has helped so many of us with getting news out about book releases, guest posts, and guest interviews.  He's also the founder of the Insecure Writer's Support Group (IWSG).  Alex is just a great guy.  He leaves positive comments wherever he goes and makes the blogosphere a better place.

This blogfest is the brainchild of  Mark "The Madman" Koopman, "Marvelous" Morgan Shamy, Stephen "Breakthrough" Tremp, and David "Kingpin" Powers King.  (Nice names, guys!)  This is our way of giving back to Alex.

Here's what I have to do:  Answer some questions about Alex, and then write a flash fiction piece using the words, "Cavanaugh, Ninja, IWSG, Cosbolt, and Guitar."

Questions:

1.  What does Alex look like?  Nobody knows (except his wife) what the captain looks like, but I'm guessing he's a tall, skinny dude with long hair.  And he has a guitar permanently hanging off his shoulder.

2.  Who could play Alex in a documentary?

                                                                        Josh Holloway


                                                                             OR

                                                                      Keanu Reeves
Josh has the rocker look, but Keanu might be better for the rocker ninja combo.  Aren't they cute?  Alex, I bet you're cute, just like them!  (What?  Are you blushing?)

3.  Who does Alex remind you of?    Hmmm.  Maybe Mother Teresa (male version) because he makes the world a better place!


And now for the Flash Fiction!

The Cosbolt spacecraft skidded to a stop in front of the residence of a powerful German Shepherd named Schultz.  The dog sat at attention as the pod door opened.  Moments later, a strange figure emmerged.  He was dressed in black from head to toe, and he carried with him an unusual object.

The figure slowly approached the regal beast and bowed before him.  "I am the Ninja Captain, Alex Cavanaugh."

Schultz cocked his head, waiting for the ninja to continue.

"Your mother is in grave danger.  She is an insecure writer and must join the IWSG.  I have come to take her there."

Schultz gave a low growl and sprang into action.  With lightening speed, he usurped the unusual object with his mighty jowels and bolted.

Seconds later, a petite, brown-haired lady stepped out of the residence.  "Schultz, drop it!"  The beast obeyed her command.  "Crate!" she ordered.

With his tail between his legs, Schultz headed off to the brigg.

The lady retrieved the object and returned it to the ninja.  "Sorry about that, Alex.  I hope he didn't get too much slobber on your guitar!"



Here's a message for Mrs Cavanaugh:  Thanks, Mrs. Cavanaugh, for sharing your husband and putting up with us!  You have a great guy!

Alex, you rock!  Thanks for all you do!

Gambling Man and Something Sweet

Here at my pad, we celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah.  Last night was the first night of Hanukkah.  Naturally, the kids had to play the dreidel game.  If you're not familiar with it, it's a game where you spin a top-like object, and depending on what Hebrew letter it lands on, you either lose money or get money. 

At the end of the game, my son had accrued quite a collection of pennies.  "Mama," he said.  "I like gambling.  I'm going to be a gambler when I grow up."

"Bubba," I said. "That's not a good idea.  When you gamble, sometimes you win, but sometimes you lose.  If you lose, you can lose big."

"But Mama, I always win!"

(I can tell there's going to be big trouble ahead - a cute, charismatic kid with older women chasing him and a propensity to gamble.  Oy vey!)

Now for the sweet thing:

My mother-in-law always tells my daughter that she loves her more than the moon and the sun and the stars.  Do you know what she got my daughter this year?  A star!

Isn't that the sweetest thing ever!  Now I'm getting all sentimental.  I'd better go!

See you tomorrow for the blog fest!

Close Call for Croaky

As you may or may not know, we have an African clawed frog named Croaky.  This creature was one of Bubba's whims.  I went along with it, thinking the frog would only live a few years.  Boy, was I wrong!  This type of frog lives about fifteen years.   So week after week, for the past four years, I have been literally cleaning a swamp.   (The good news is, I have only eleven years to go!)

Croaky thinks he's a cat.  "Why," you ask?  Because he seems to have nine lives.  Two years ago, he jumped off the balcony from the second floor of our home.  (Bubba had taken him out of his tank to play with him.)  He landed on the carpet and kept hopping.  No injuries.   He didn't even seem to care that he was out of the water. (African clawed frogs must stay underwater to live.)  I picked him up, transported him to his swamp, and let him carry on.

Today, he had another adventure.  I brought him down to the kitchen to clean his swamp.  As I poured out his dirty water, Croaky took a giant leap - right into the kitchen sink.   Around and around he went, swimming dangerously close to the garbage disposal.  I quickly grabbed a pot and covered the opening.  You should've seen me trying to catch that slippery frog!  After several attempts, I finally caught him and threw him into a fish bowl while I finished cleaning his tank.

Meanwhile, Schultz, our German Shepherd, was watching the whole thing.  He wagged his tail and stuck his big snoot on the counter next to the fish bowl where Croaky was recuperating.

"Schultz, don't even think about it!"  I said.

He was a good boy.  He sat down and let me finish.  That would've been all I needed! Schultz trying to eat Croaky! 

How the Heart Works

"Mama," my eight-year-old son said.  "The heart has a butt that never stops working."

I looked at that kid.  "Bubba, the heart does not have a butt."

"Yes, it does," he said.  "It pumps poop and pee out the back end into the body."

I shook my head. "No, Bubba.  Here's how it works:  Blood from the lungs goes into the left atrium, through the left ventricle, and out into the body.  Then it comes back through the right atrium and right ventricle and returns to the lungs to get more oxygen.  It has absolutely nothing to do with bodily excrements!"

My son looked at me like I had rocks in my head. "Mama, you don't know what you're talking about.  The heart has a butt.  My teacher said so!"

Alright, then.  I see I'm going to have to pay a little visit to that institution called a school to find out what kind of anatomical nonsense is being spewed to our kids!

The Cinnamon Challenge

I think there's something a little wrong with my kids.  Today, I walked into the kitchen and found them huddled over a bowl.  Naturally,  I had to investigate.  I discovered that it was a bowl of cinnamon.  They had dumped an entire container into that thing.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked.

"The cinnamon challenge," said my daughter.

"What is that?" I asked, not really sure if I wanted to know.

"We see who can eat the most cinnamon."

"Seriously?  That's just stupid!"

I watched as they spooned some of that spicy stuff into their mouths.  Immediately, they gagged on it, spewing fine powder all over the place.

I shook my head.  "Okay.  So who won?"

They looked at each other.  "It's a tie!"

Unbelievable!

Make Believe Blog Tour

Okay, I think I got my act together to tell you about Lynda's new story.


Lynda Young’s short story titled Birthright, published by J. Taylor Publishing in the Make Believe anthology, launched a couple of days ago. Make Believe is currently available in e-book format and includes Paranormal Romance and Fantasy stories inspired by the image on the cover. Congratulations, Lynda!



Birthright by Lynda Young

Christa can mask the pain and hide the scars, but running from a birthright is impossible.

She’s tried to escape her grief by fleeing to a small town in Florida. Much to her frustration, the locals think they recognize her even though she's never been there before. To make things worse, a man named Jack spouts outrageous theories about her.

Both spur Christa to bolt, to start fresh yet again, but there’s something about Jack that intrigues her enough to stay. The only problem? Someone else wants her to leave, and they won’t stop until she’s dead.





About LyndaYoung:

LyndaYoung lives in Sydney, Australia, with her sweetheart of a husband who is her rock, and a cat who believes world domination starts in the home. She writes speculative short stories and is currently writing novels for young adults. In her spare time she also dabbles in photography and all things creative. You can find her here: Blog, Twitter, Facebook, and Goodreads



Purchase Make Believe: J Taylor Publishing, Amazon and Barnes and Noble.



Lynda, way to go! You are an amazing writer and I'm so excited for you!



One quick story before I go:

Do you remember how my kids were making fun of me for being a psychotic basket case musician after we went to see the Cincinnati Symphony perform Beethoven's Ninth Symphony?  Well, guess what?  My daughter actually asked me to teach her a new song on the piano. (She hasn't wanted to learn anything for about three years!)  I taught her Ode to Joy, which is the theme from Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.  She practiced it for a half hour.  (My husband of course, came in and complained about it, ranting about Beethoven being a senile old guy.)

Later, after I had practiced the Mendelssohn Violin Concerto,  I heard my son humming the melody from the second movement. 

I think there may be hope for them!

Headless Gingerbread Men

It's that time of year when I start baking Christmas cookies.  Today, I made gingerbread  men cookies.  For some reason, they all had a propensity to lose their heads.   No worries.  It just meant more for the kids. I put some on a plate and invited them to have one.

My daughter grabbed her cookie, and as soon as she did, the head came off.   "Mom, I can't eat this.  It's headless!"

"So?" I said and popped the head in my mouth.

"Mom!"

"What?"

"You're a cannibal!"

I looked at that girl.  "No, I'm not.  If I were a cannibal, I would've eaten the body and put the head on a string to wear around my neck."

She looked at me like I was crazy.  Maybe I am.

Headless gingerbread cookies, anyone?



   

Quick note:  Lynda at WIP, has a new book out called Make Believe.   It came out yesterday, but since I haven't had access to my main computer, I wasn't able to do a full post about it.  I'll try to get it up tomorrow, so you can read about it.  Be sure to stop by her blog and congratulate her!

Catapult the Cat!

Many of you may not know that we have a cat.  Our German Shepherd, Schultz, usually steals the show, and the cat takes a back seat.   So let me tell you about Bootsy.  Bootsy was a pathetic little kitten that crawled into my yard two years ago.  He was a skinny, starving thing, and he was loaded with fleas.  Being the soft-hearted person that I am, I decided to help him.  I gave him kitty food and de-flead him.  Then I took him to the vet, got rid of his round worms and tapeworms, had him neutered, and vaccinated.  He is now a happy, healthy cat who  lives outside in a little igloo.

(My husband thought I was crazy to do that.  He teases me all the time about it, and encourages Schultz to "eat the cat,"  which is why the cat lives outside.)   

Anyway, today it was time to take Bootsy to the vet for his annual checkup and vaccinations.

"How are you going to get him to the vet?" my son asked.

"She's going to put him in a brown box and ship him," my husband said.

I shook my head.  "No.  I have a crate.  I'll take him in that."

My husband thought he had a better idea.  "You should catapult him.  Send him flying through the sky all the way to the vet office."

"Catapult my cat?" I asked.  "How could you suggest such a thing?"

"That's what catapults are for, aren't they?"

No.  Actually, I think they're for transporting crazy husbands to the moon, which is exactly where he's going if he keeps harrassing the cat!     

Baby Faces Blogfest

 

Trisha at Words + Stuff came up with a really fun blogfest. It's the Baby Faces Blogfest.  Guess what's going to happen?  You're going to see a baby picture of me!  Isn't that exciting?  I can tell you're thrilled.

Okay.  Ready?  Here it is:

 Baby Sherry c1972   How do you like my bonnet?  My mom told me she used to dress me in fancy dresses and bonnets every day.  She also said she used to change my outfits at least three times a day. "Mom," I asked.  "Why would you do such a thing?" "Because you were like a living doll.  I liked to play dress up with you." Okay then.  I couldn't imagine having the time or energy to do that with my kids!  I will have you know, that I dress more sensibly now that I'm an adult.  I don't wear frilly dresses or bonnets. And I most certainly do not change my outfits three times a day!    One more thing:  In case you missed yesterday's post, I'm a guest over at greeting card designer, Tracy Campbell's blog.  There's a book give-away going on, so if you have a minute,  please stop by!