Sherry Ellis's Blog, page 82
May 13, 2013
Mama the Surgeon
I had to perform surgery yesterday. It was an emergency! What...you don't believe me?
Here's what happened: My daughter had a dance competition yesterday. (Her team won platinum which was the highest they could get.) When she put on her fish net tights, she noticed there was a huge hole in them. Not at all acceptable for a competition. She went into full freak mode. "What am I going to do? My teacher is going to kill me!"
I looked at the gaping hole. I knew the studio was closed, so we couldn't just go up there to buy new tights. I had to think fast. "Let me get some black thread," I said.
I fetched the thread and began surgery. I tied it across the hole and crisscrossed more thread over it so that it looked like fish net. When I was done, I examined my work. "What do you think?" I asked.
My daughter looked at it. "It'll do," she said. "Thanks, Mom."
And the good news is, nobody noticed my little surgery job - not even the teacher!
Here's what happened: My daughter had a dance competition yesterday. (Her team won platinum which was the highest they could get.) When she put on her fish net tights, she noticed there was a huge hole in them. Not at all acceptable for a competition. She went into full freak mode. "What am I going to do? My teacher is going to kill me!"
I looked at the gaping hole. I knew the studio was closed, so we couldn't just go up there to buy new tights. I had to think fast. "Let me get some black thread," I said.
I fetched the thread and began surgery. I tied it across the hole and crisscrossed more thread over it so that it looked like fish net. When I was done, I examined my work. "What do you think?" I asked.
My daughter looked at it. "It'll do," she said. "Thanks, Mom."
And the good news is, nobody noticed my little surgery job - not even the teacher!
May 12, 2013
Happy Mother's Day and E-book Giveaways
Happy Mother's Day to all moms out there! I hope you get a chance to relax and do whatever you enjoy.
This post is going to be short because I have to take off for a dance competition. (Such is the life of a dance mom!)
But I will tell you a little story. I was in bed this morning when there was a knock on my bedroom door. "Mom, we have something for you," my daughter said.
She opened the door and brought in plates of waffles with whipped cream and fruit for my husband and me. Bubba brought in the apple juice. To top it off, my daughter gave me an Almond Joy candy bar. How's that for a great start for Mother's Day?
And here's a little something for your Mother's Day: I'm giving away free copies of my books. That Mama is a Grouch can be found at Smashwords. Use coupon code GP25M (expires May 13th). That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN can be found at Amazon.
There are other authors participating in this Mother's Day giveaway. If you'd like to see the complete list, visit Virginia Wright's blog.
Have a fabulous day!
This post is going to be short because I have to take off for a dance competition. (Such is the life of a dance mom!)
But I will tell you a little story. I was in bed this morning when there was a knock on my bedroom door. "Mom, we have something for you," my daughter said.
She opened the door and brought in plates of waffles with whipped cream and fruit for my husband and me. Bubba brought in the apple juice. To top it off, my daughter gave me an Almond Joy candy bar. How's that for a great start for Mother's Day?
And here's a little something for your Mother's Day: I'm giving away free copies of my books. That Mama is a Grouch can be found at Smashwords. Use coupon code GP25M (expires May 13th). That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN can be found at Amazon.
There are other authors participating in this Mother's Day giveaway. If you'd like to see the complete list, visit Virginia Wright's blog.
Have a fabulous day!
May 11, 2013
Shine On Award
Deanie Humphrys-Dunne has given me two more awards. Isn't the Shine On one pretty? Thank you, Deanie! I'm supposed to tell you seven things about myself and nominate fifteen more bloggers for the award.
Here are seven things about me that maybe you know, or maybe you don't.
1. When I was a kid, I wanted to be an opera singer or an astronaut. It's a good thing I didn't choose opera singer, because I'd be seriously shattering some windows if I did that now! Being an astronaut would be cool. Then I might be able to find my mind which my family says is lost in outer space.
2. If I wasn't a musician or author, I'd probably be a genetic engineer. I love science, and biology has always been especially interesting to me. When I studied genetic engineering in high school and college, I found it so fascinating. It was like solving puzzles - and I like puzzles!
3. When I was 21, I went on a hot-air balloon ride. It was the coolest experience - very quiet except for the bursts of hot air every now and then. It was fun watching the deer run through the fields below us.
4. I was a viola soloist in Germany. I actually had the option of staying in Germany to pursue a career as a soloist, but I decided I wanted to have a family, and I didn't see that lifestyle as being conducive to meeting someone, getting married, and having kids. So I came back to the United States and lived a normal life (if you want to call this normal!).
5. I used to be a figure skater. I had dreams of trying out for the Olympics. Obviously, that never happened.
6. I am allergic to grass and pine trees. This isn't good, because I hear in Georgia, there are lots of pine trees, and that's where I'm moving.
7. I started playing the viola when I was 13 years old. That's considered late for starting. (I picked up the violin when I was 22). It just goes to show, you're never to old to learn an instrument!
Here's the other award Deanie gave me:
I've already received this one, but the rules are the same. List seven things about yourself and select 15 recipients. If you are selected, you may pick either award. Here are the other bloggers (I'm only listing five because I'm a busy Mama. And don't give me any lip about it, or I'll send you to your room!) : 1. Journey of Life2. Sage3. The Incoherent Ramblings of a Moose4. The Happy Whisk5. Zantippy Skiphop Be sure to stop by and visit these bloggers! Also, another reminder in case you missed the news on yesterday's post: I'm giving away free downloads of my books for Mother's Day. That Mama is a Grouch can be found at Smashwords Use coupon code GP25M. It's good until May 13th. That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN will be available from Amazon Kindle on May 12th.
May 10, 2013
Early Mother's Day Present
"Mama," my eight-year-old son said. "Don't come into the kitchen or the family room!"
"Okay," I said. I knew my kids (and one of my daughter's friends) were definitely up to something.
I kept myself busy practicing my violin. Twenty minutes later, my son announced that I could come in. I put my violin down and went to see what they had been up to. Both girls held a sheet across the entrance of the family room.
"Ready, Mom?" my daughter asked.
I nodded.
They put down the sheet and revealed the surprise: They had decorated the entire room with rope party lights. The coffee table was covered with a tablecloth, and on the table were five place settings with chocolate-frosted chocolate chips cookies and tall glasses of lemonade. They even had music playing in the background. "Happy Mother's Day!" they said.
Then Bubba had another surprise - something wrapped in orange tissue paper. He handed it to me. "Here's your present."
I opened it. It was a hard-covered homemade book written just for me. I have to share some of what he wrote, because it's just so sweet: "My mommy is as pretty as a dimond. (That's how he spelled it.) My mommy is smart. She even knows how to play pokemon all the time. And she is smart in every way!! My mommy helps me get happy. My mom tot me how to ride a bike. She helps me do my homework! I love to play with my mom. My mommy is the best cook ever. She can make a lot of food! She even makes hambergers. She can make eggs. I think she's best at cooking! Even the dog likes it. If I had a million dollars I would buy my mommy a new pyno (piano). She would be so happy. And I would buy my mommy a new car. I love my mommy!
Aren't my kids the best? I love being a Mom!
And now for an early Mother's Day present for you: My book, That Mama is a Grouch is available on Smashword for free until May 13th. Use coupon code GP25M. Here's the link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/103138
On Mother's Day, my other book, That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN, will be available on Kindle for free. I'll give you the link in a couple of days.
"Okay," I said. I knew my kids (and one of my daughter's friends) were definitely up to something.
I kept myself busy practicing my violin. Twenty minutes later, my son announced that I could come in. I put my violin down and went to see what they had been up to. Both girls held a sheet across the entrance of the family room.
"Ready, Mom?" my daughter asked.
I nodded.
They put down the sheet and revealed the surprise: They had decorated the entire room with rope party lights. The coffee table was covered with a tablecloth, and on the table were five place settings with chocolate-frosted chocolate chips cookies and tall glasses of lemonade. They even had music playing in the background. "Happy Mother's Day!" they said.
Then Bubba had another surprise - something wrapped in orange tissue paper. He handed it to me. "Here's your present."
I opened it. It was a hard-covered homemade book written just for me. I have to share some of what he wrote, because it's just so sweet: "My mommy is as pretty as a dimond. (That's how he spelled it.) My mommy is smart. She even knows how to play pokemon all the time. And she is smart in every way!! My mommy helps me get happy. My mom tot me how to ride a bike. She helps me do my homework! I love to play with my mom. My mommy is the best cook ever. She can make a lot of food! She even makes hambergers. She can make eggs. I think she's best at cooking! Even the dog likes it. If I had a million dollars I would buy my mommy a new pyno (piano). She would be so happy. And I would buy my mommy a new car. I love my mommy!
Aren't my kids the best? I love being a Mom!
And now for an early Mother's Day present for you: My book, That Mama is a Grouch is available on Smashword for free until May 13th. Use coupon code GP25M. Here's the link: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/103138
On Mother's Day, my other book, That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN, will be available on Kindle for free. I'll give you the link in a couple of days.
May 9, 2013
How to Move a Cat
As most of you know, my family and I are preparing to move to Atlanta, Georgia. This means we have to move all of our pets - including our cat. This is going to be a good trick, because Bootsy is an outdoor cat who absolutely hates being confined. Even crating him for a five minute trip to the vet is traumatizing. He's never going to survive eleven hours in a crate!
We've debated about what to do with him. My husband got on the phone with his dad to get some fatherly advice on the situation. Here's what the two nutcases came up with:
1. Catapult Bootsy. They are certain that Bubba will come up with a great contraption for doing this.
2. Duct tape Bootsy to the roof of the car. He'll enjoy the wind blowing through his fur.
3. Hang Bootsy from the differential on the moving truck and let him dangle for eleven hours. What cat wouldn't like that?
4. Throw Bootsy in the back of the moving truck and let him cook. My husband says this will show us exactly how strong the cat is.
Right. These are the brilliant suggestions from the men in my family.
Here's my vote: We get Bootsy some kitty Prozac and let him sleep through the whole thing.
What do you think?
We've debated about what to do with him. My husband got on the phone with his dad to get some fatherly advice on the situation. Here's what the two nutcases came up with:
1. Catapult Bootsy. They are certain that Bubba will come up with a great contraption for doing this.
2. Duct tape Bootsy to the roof of the car. He'll enjoy the wind blowing through his fur.
3. Hang Bootsy from the differential on the moving truck and let him dangle for eleven hours. What cat wouldn't like that?
4. Throw Bootsy in the back of the moving truck and let him cook. My husband says this will show us exactly how strong the cat is.
Right. These are the brilliant suggestions from the men in my family.
Here's my vote: We get Bootsy some kitty Prozac and let him sleep through the whole thing.
What do you think?
May 8, 2013
Winners of the Giveway and a Mother's Day Present
I know you've all been sitting on the edge of your chairs waiting to find out who won the Amazon gift cards and books, so I won't keep you in suspense anymore. Here they are:
Winners of the gift cards: Heather Holden, Susanne Drazic, and Pat Hatt (Yes, Pat - cat got lucky. I had any extra card!)
Winner of That Mama is a Grouch: Maria Dunn
Winner of That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN: Deanne Humphrys-Dunne.
Congratulations! Thanks to all who commented, and a big thanks to everyone who follows this blog!
Now for the story:
"Woman!" my husband said. "Happy Mother's Day!"
I looked at the man. "Why, thank you, but Mother's Day isn't until Sunday."
"I know. But I got you a present."
"What?" I asked.
"It's in the driveway."
Since last year he got me a toilet for Mother's Day, I figured this would probably be just as good. "What is it? A pile of horse manure?" I asked.
He laughed. "Close!"
I went outside to have a look. Do you know what it was? Nine cubic yards of steaming hot mulch!
"Gee, thanks," I said.
He walked back in the house. "Have fun with it!"
(In all fairness, my husband did give me a spa gift certificate last year in addition to the toilet. And he didn't make me install it. But I did have to help haul it to the curb!)
Winners of the gift cards: Heather Holden, Susanne Drazic, and Pat Hatt (Yes, Pat - cat got lucky. I had any extra card!)
Winner of That Mama is a Grouch: Maria Dunn
Winner of That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN: Deanne Humphrys-Dunne.
Congratulations! Thanks to all who commented, and a big thanks to everyone who follows this blog!
Now for the story:
"Woman!" my husband said. "Happy Mother's Day!"
I looked at the man. "Why, thank you, but Mother's Day isn't until Sunday."
"I know. But I got you a present."
"What?" I asked.
"It's in the driveway."
Since last year he got me a toilet for Mother's Day, I figured this would probably be just as good. "What is it? A pile of horse manure?" I asked.
He laughed. "Close!"
I went outside to have a look. Do you know what it was? Nine cubic yards of steaming hot mulch!
"Gee, thanks," I said.
He walked back in the house. "Have fun with it!"
(In all fairness, my husband did give me a spa gift certificate last year in addition to the toilet. And he didn't make me install it. But I did have to help haul it to the curb!)
May 7, 2013
Chef Bubba
"Mama, can I make some soup?" my eight-year-old son asked.
"Sure," I said. "What kind do you want to make?"
"You'll see. But I'll need to use the microwave."
"That's fine, Bubba," I said. "You know what to do, right?"
He nodded. "And I might make some desert, too."
I left the kid to his own devices and went off to do some cleaning. Twenty minutes later, Chef Bubba was done. "It's ready!" he said.
I went to the kitchen and inspected his creation. A bowl full of water with salad greens and carrots sat on the table. "Salad soup?" I asked.
He grinned. "Doesn't it look good?"
"Absolutely delectable."
"Do you want to see the desert?"
"Okay," I said. "Where is it?"
He went to the freezer and opened it. He pulled out an old sippy cup with some kind of half-frozen concoction in it and handed it to me.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Homemade ice cream - made with milk and ice!"
(I guess the boy knows how much I like ice cream.)
There you go - nothing but the finest at Chef Bubba's Restaurant! Now who would like to help me eat it?
"Sure," I said. "What kind do you want to make?"
"You'll see. But I'll need to use the microwave."
"That's fine, Bubba," I said. "You know what to do, right?"
He nodded. "And I might make some desert, too."
I left the kid to his own devices and went off to do some cleaning. Twenty minutes later, Chef Bubba was done. "It's ready!" he said.
I went to the kitchen and inspected his creation. A bowl full of water with salad greens and carrots sat on the table. "Salad soup?" I asked.
He grinned. "Doesn't it look good?"
"Absolutely delectable."
"Do you want to see the desert?"
"Okay," I said. "Where is it?"
He went to the freezer and opened it. He pulled out an old sippy cup with some kind of half-frozen concoction in it and handed it to me.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Homemade ice cream - made with milk and ice!"
(I guess the boy knows how much I like ice cream.)
There you go - nothing but the finest at Chef Bubba's Restaurant! Now who would like to help me eat it?
May 6, 2013
Fish Heads and Shrimp Bottoms
I was practicing my viola when I heard my daughter give a loud shriek. A second later, she ran into the room. "Save me, Mom!"
Two steps behind my daughter was the man I call my husband. And he had a fish head between his fingers. I kid you not! He had been making trout for dinner. Decapitating fish heads was part of the job. Apparently, he thought it would be great fun to terrorize the kids with them.
I briefly glanced up. "Please take the fish head and put it in the garbage," I said.
What did my husband do? He marched right up to me and stopped about an inch away from my face. With his other finger, he made the fish lips move. "Hi, I'm Mister Fish Head," it said. "Can I give you a kiss?"
"No, thank you," I said. "I'm not much into kissing fish heads. You can go away now."
Dejected, my husband and Mister Fish Head shuffled off.
About twenty minutes later, we sat down for dinner. My husband had also prepared some shrimp cocktail. My son, Bubba, picked one up. "Mama, I don't like shrimp butts," he said.
I looked at the kid. "That's the tail, and your not supposed to eat it. Just pull it off."
"But I still don't like it, Mama."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because that's where shrimp poop comes out."
Oy gewalt!
Two steps behind my daughter was the man I call my husband. And he had a fish head between his fingers. I kid you not! He had been making trout for dinner. Decapitating fish heads was part of the job. Apparently, he thought it would be great fun to terrorize the kids with them.
I briefly glanced up. "Please take the fish head and put it in the garbage," I said.
What did my husband do? He marched right up to me and stopped about an inch away from my face. With his other finger, he made the fish lips move. "Hi, I'm Mister Fish Head," it said. "Can I give you a kiss?"
"No, thank you," I said. "I'm not much into kissing fish heads. You can go away now."
Dejected, my husband and Mister Fish Head shuffled off.
About twenty minutes later, we sat down for dinner. My husband had also prepared some shrimp cocktail. My son, Bubba, picked one up. "Mama, I don't like shrimp butts," he said.
I looked at the kid. "That's the tail, and your not supposed to eat it. Just pull it off."
"But I still don't like it, Mama."
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because that's where shrimp poop comes out."
Oy gewalt!
May 5, 2013
Snowball Fight
It's almost eighty degrees in here in Cincinnati, and my kids just got done having a snowball fight. What...you don't believe me? They did - with the flowers of snowball hydrangeas!
I went outside and saw my kids plucking the white pom-pom flowers from the bushes. "What are you guys doing?" I asked.
"Having a snowball fight!" they answered.
I watched them chase each other around the yard, throwing flower balls at each other. It looked like fun, so I grabbed one, too. Pretty soon we were all pelting petals at each other.
And do you know what? It didn't hurt! I think I kind of like spring snowball fights!
I went outside and saw my kids plucking the white pom-pom flowers from the bushes. "What are you guys doing?" I asked.
"Having a snowball fight!" they answered.
I watched them chase each other around the yard, throwing flower balls at each other. It looked like fun, so I grabbed one, too. Pretty soon we were all pelting petals at each other.
And do you know what? It didn't hurt! I think I kind of like spring snowball fights!
May 3, 2013
Awards and a Give-away
More awards have landed at my pad. Deanie Humphrys-Dunne has bestowed two of them on me! Don't those cupcakes look positively delicious? I love the colors! Thanks Deanie!
The first award is the Super Sweet Blogging Award. After my post about dismembering chickens yesterday, I'm not so sure I deserve it. But since I have a major sweet tooth, I'll just go ahead and accept it.
Here are the rules: Thank the person who awarded it, display the badge, answer the five questions, and nominate a bakers dozen (13) for the award.
So here are the questions:
1. What is your favorite desert? Seriously? I have to pick a favorite? Okay. I'm going with ice cream - black raspberry with chocolate chunks. Pistachio is a close second, followed by coconut with chocolate chunks. (Can you tell I like chocolate?)
2. Cake or ice cream? Well, that's pretty obvious. Ice cream! Although if you offered me a piece of cake, I'd probably have no problem taking it!
3. When do you like deserts most? Um. Morning, noon, and night! Any time is good for deserts!
4. Would you choose cookies or cake? Oh my. What a decision! It depends on the flavor. Chocolate wins. But if the cake had ice cream, I'd have to go for that!
5. Vanilla or chocolate? Chocolate! But you already knew that, right?
Before I list other bloggers, I'm going to go ahead and accept this other award.
I guess I don't totally get this one. Are those ghosts popping up out of the floor? Anyway, this is the Best Moment Award. I'm supposed to write an acceptance speech that expresses gratitude, uses humor, and provides inspiration. Must be practice for when I win a Newberry award!
So here it is: THANK YOU!!!!!!
Are you inspired? Are you laughing? Oh. Well, I guess I'll have to practice more.
Which brings me to my next point. The give-away! To celebrate Mother's Day, and reaching over 300 followers, I'm doing a giveaway: Winners will receive either one of two $10.00 Amazon gift cards, a copy of my book, That Mama is a Grouch, or a copy of my book, That Baby Woke Me Up, AGAIN! If you'd like to be entered in the drawing, please let me know what you'd like to win in your comment. There will be four drawings, and the winners will be chosen on Tuesday, May 7th. Thanks to all of you who follow and comment! You rock!
Now for the bloggers: If you are listed, just pick any award. I don't care which.
1. Delight Directed Living: http://delightdirectedliving.blogspot.com/
2. Writing with Hope: http://hoperoberson.blogspot.com/
3. In Between: http://adrianadascalu.blogspot.ro/
4. Wishbone Soup Cures Everything: http://lilytequila.blogspot.com/ (Does it really?)
5. Jane's Jewels: http://missesjanesjewels.blogspot.com/
6. Eyes 2 Page: http://www.ajfrey.com/
7. Shutterbug: http://shutterbugsworld.blogspot.com/
8. Creative Writing in the Blackberry Patch: http://creativewritingintheblackberrypatch.blogspot.com/
9. Connecting with Stephanie: http://thestephanieconnection.blogspot.com/
10. To the Moon: http://moon-lore.blogspot.com/
11. Libby Heily: http://libbyheily.blogspot.com/
12. Elsie is Writing: http://www.elsieiswriting.com/
13. Elysabeth's Writing Emporium: http://elysabethsstories.blogspot.com/
(I'm really sorry I couldn't make the list nice and neat with hyperlinks. My mouse seems to be malfunctioning. Maybe I should have my cat eat it and get a new one!)
If you get a chance please visit these bloggers! Thanks again, Deanie!
